When your food has more plate than calories

[-]

EfficientBum@reddit

I wanna got to a restaurant that keeps giving you shitty plates until you get more and more angry until eventually it's good. I want to really appreciate the food

[-]

Legitimate-Log-6542@reddit

I think you’re onto something here. Gotta eat through the worst culinary experience of your life in order to get to any of the good dishes

[-]

GhostPepperDaddy@reddit

This reels of Nathan Fielder or Tom Robinson

[-]

GodsFavorite69420@reddit

Hold out for a steak then slop it up 🥩💧

[-]

FGFlips@reddit

Only it never gets good and it's a test of your patience. The final course is a kick in the sack and gratuity is included in the bill.

[-]

rts93@reddit

And I bet some wannabe snobs would still pretend to be obsessed with it and to give you a pseudointellectual description of how great it was.

[-]

Kinkajou1015@reddit

Parties of 0 or more have 4000% Gratuity included automatically.

[-]

YgrainDaystar@reddit

Honestly thought that was a cigarette on the plate

[-]

naturallysonny@reddit

If anyone else is curious, this is from the Michelin Star restaurant Salt in Budapest. It is apart of their 14 course tasing menu for approx 300-400$ USD / person.

A description of this particular dish from a different thread about this:

It's an herb bouquet with a yeast dip made with nutritional yeast and dried carp roe shaved on top (almost like a bottarga). The herbs were oxalis, nasturtium, verbena, parsley or lovage and others I don't remember. You pick up the bouquet by the string, dip it into the yeast cream and bite. It was weird but also quite good.

[-]

Holy shit, what a scam... i always wonder who goes to these fine dining restaurants willingly... 25-30$ for 5 herb leaves and some condement(singular)... insane. I went once through my work to something similar and it was horrible. You have to pretend this shit tastes good and these tiny portions are not a joke. You never get full, but after a while your stomach stops asking for food because it takes so damn long between each tiny portion. After it was finally over, i went and got a kebab that was a 100 times better.

[-]

Effective_Dirt2617@reddit

I’ve been to several places like this, and your assessment of them is absolutely incorrect. This is one of FOURTEEN courses. I’ve never left any of the tasting-menu, Michelin starred restaurants feeling anything less than completely satisfied, usually stuffed. Yes, they are expensive; yes, parts of it are very precious; but the majority of the dishes you get are substantial. You’re also paying for the experience, which is service like you’d never get at even the better local or national fine dining places.

Reddit always makes this assumption that this is all you’re getting for 400 bucks which is absolutely untrue and made from a place of ignorance. They (of course) don’t bother to learn about the thing, they just talk shit because they see an isolated example of something that isn’t a huge plate of ribs and potatoes or some shit.

Calling these restaurants a scam is just the laziest take. If you don’t like it, that’s fine, but you’re categorically incorrect about how these places operate. Know that.

[-]

OkProfessor6810@reddit

Or it could be his opinion that they're a scam. I've been lucky (yeah, that's not the right word but whatever) enough to attend several tasting dinners at starred restaurants both in the US and Europe. If they're not scams outright, they're definitely scam adjacent. I will admit that I deplore restaurants with obsequious service. Which is what most of these places have. I know you're going to come at me with some that's not obsequiousness but that's how it reads to me.

[-]

TwoHungryBlackbirdss@reddit

Reddit always has dumb takes on fine dining; I like going to a tasting menu once or twice a year and it's always life-changing good. I love seeing people excell in their craft to the highest level

Not to mention so much food you're almost sick after

[-]

littlegingerbunny@reddit

Sounds like you had a bad experience. I do fine dining as often as my budget allows and have not left hungry once. In fact I often can't finish the food they serve because there is so much of it.

[-]

Rpeasj@reddit

Depends on the rest of the plates tho, if it is all like this it is shit. I personally don't think the dish in the picture is anything amazing but I often do see small bites (and have had small portions) that I do think I would love.

A kebab is just a completely different experience, most of the days I would rather have a kebab. But fine dining can be an amazing experience imo

[-]

sphinctersandwich@reddit

Oxalisis a herb? I thought it was just a weed in my lawn

[-]

OkProfessor6810@reddit

I took a foraging class last year. Why, yes, I am an enormous nerd. Why did you ask? Anyway, I learned I could make a seriously decent salad with what's in our town common. Well, I might be exaggerating a little.

[-]

SMTRodent@reddit

Also known as wood sorrel. It's quite tangy.

[-]

proxy_noob@reddit

usd is stronf against their currency. good time to.

[-]

ToasterPhuc@reddit

I genuinely thought this post was satire

[-]

Rodrat@reddit

I love me some wood sorrel. I pick it straight out of my yard sometimes and just snack on it.

[-]

Clivodota@reddit

Hah, I knew it! I was there 5 years ago!

[-]

dozdeu@reddit (OP)

Good job, detective!

[-]

SimpleMannStann@reddit

….what is it?

[-]

Fluffy_Ace@reddit

A plate for ants

[-]

Whack-a-Moole@reddit

Palette cleanser.

[-]

Myrtylle@reddit

https://www.reddit.com/r/shittyfoodporn/s/8Lznm0e25W

[-]

i_was_a_person_once@reddit

Looks like a dingleberry

[-]

Truckules_Heel@reddit

A wedding bouquet for a mouse

[-]

saurus-REXicon@reddit

Not every restaurant is about calories.

[-]

bimboozled@reddit

Not every restaurant is about being tasty either I guess

[-]

saurus-REXicon@reddit

Taste is subjective

[-]

bimboozled@reddit

Bro if you think a bundle of cilantro wrapped in string with a tiny serving of hummus or something is “tasty” enough suitable for a restaurant, you need to get your brain checked

[-]

saurus-REXicon@reddit

It’s ok if you don’t get it. You like something else. Don’t yuck, someone else’s yum. Cause chances are the thing you like, might be disgusting to someone else.

[-]

1egg_4u@reddit

At the same time this level of food is on a completely different plane of reality to most people

This is something only "haves" get to experience, not "have nots" and it makes it hard to see food presented like this as anything other than frivolous knowing rhe overall cost is probably more than I make in a month.

[-]

saurus-REXicon@reddit

Right, I’m not a “have”, I’m the guy that makes food like this.

[-]

1egg_4u@reddit

Tiny wrapped cilantro bouquets for little bird weddings?

Im sorry i ragged on cilantro bouquet. I know this is the most elevated form of culinary art... it's also just hard to enjoy knowing the industry probably pays you like shit to charge an arm and a leg for food like this

[-]

saurus-REXicon@reddit

Actually tbh I see a little cilantro, some other greens, maybe some cress. This looks like a one bite salad. You run the greens through the emulsion and take the bite, this could be like course # 3 in a huge line up.

[-]

Skweril@reddit

Honeslty, only someone who doesn't know their way through their own kitchen would be impressed by 5 different herbs and what is essentially a miso paste roe emulsion.

Give me a traditionally cooked meal by a grandmother in a remote part of any village of almost any country over this pretentious crap.

[-]

1egg_4u@reddit

And im sure it's wonderful. Maybe one day ill be able to try a tiny bird bouquet when we all get paid enough to participate in the same luxuries :')

[-]

SCVerde@reddit

I thought it was a single broccoli floret wrapped in paper with a peanut.

I am not wearing my glasses.

[-]

LornAltElthMer@reddit

Hummus?

I thought that was a pistachio shell.

[-]

bimboozled@reddit

Hmm maybe, it just looked too soft/smooth to be a nut to be but hard to say

[-]

maybelle180@reddit

I thought it was half a peanut.

[-]

Definitelymostlikely@reddit

You’re not going to understand this.

But at like the fringes of all activities there exists like the people who do things with a degree of obsession or professionalism.

So like, playing football in a D1 college is hard work and those kids are super athletic. But they’re nothing compared to a player in the nfl.

You’ve got people who draw art and practice everyday. Then you’ve got like studio ghibli

You’ve got the 400lb McDonalds regular then you’ve got Matt stonie lol.

Food/restaurants have a similar kind of thing.

Yeah I can go to a bar and get a kickass burger and fries. But it isn’t the same level of complexity with flavor or demonstration of certain techniques that have decades of refinement behind them.

Yes this does sound pretentious, all higher skill/level things are.

“But what about this video I saw of a boiled chicken”

Not what I’m talking about

[-]

yestermorrowposting@reddit

This food in the post might be delicious, best taste in the world...

But it's so tiny you'd barely get to experience it. Likely it's a part of a larger meal but even with that, I wouldn't be too happy to be served it.

[-]

Definitelymostlikely@reddit

It’s probably 1 of like 15 courses of a tasting menu

[-]

yestermorrowposting@reddit

Eh still giving a garnish and less than a teaspoon of something as a whole course...

[-]

Definitelymostlikely@reddit

Tasting menu*

As in it’s for sampling different tastes. Not eating until you throw up lol

[-]

yestermorrowposting@reddit

Ah yes a tasting menu where each course is at least one full bite of food will make you throw up.... that seems extreme. There is a space between 1/4 teaspoon of food at a time and gorging yourself on 10 full sized portions.

[-]

Definitelymostlikely@reddit

There is but people don’t seem to understand the purpose of the food here lol.

It’s like saying F1 cars are terrible because they aren’t good for road trips

[-]

FinnBalur1@reddit

It’s not a restaurant then

[-]

Definitelymostlikely@reddit

It’s a sad life to just want to stuff food in your face

[-]

saurus-REXicon@reddit

Eat to live, or live to eat.

[-]

sweatgod2020@reddit

Thought it was a cig butt at first

[-]

creatyvechaos@reddit

I thought that was a blunt. That wouldve been better for whatever price this was

[-]

JuanSpiceyweiner@reddit

What a bunch of pretentious bullshit served for a ridiculous price during a 10-15 course “experience” at a Michelin Star restaurant.These type of restaurants seem like the equivalent of oscar bait movies

[-]

inprocess13@reddit

ITT: people who dont know what a tasting menu is.

[-]

HitGirlMaette@reddit

Did you get paid for that or got to pay for that???

[-]

Lordmordor666@reddit

You eat it with the string or not because I’m to scared to ask and I don’t want to choke at the table 🥹

[-]

sugaredviolence@reddit

A single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man’s hat.

[-]

drifloony@reddit

The plate is more calories than what’s on it

[-]

amoo23@reddit

r/stupidfood

[-]

HostileCakeover1@reddit

I mean, it looks fantastic if you happen to be a hamster.

[-]

Legitimate-Log-6542@reddit

What is this? A cilantro bouquet for ants?!

[-]

Myrtylle@reddit

https://www.reddit.com/r/shittyfoodporn/s/8Lznm0e25W

[-]

ham_mom@reddit

Lol I thought this was like a take on a Jewish Seder plate

[-]

Glugamesh@reddit

At first glance I thought there was a cigarette butt there

[-]

Towpillah@reddit

Same here. That would have made more sense to be fair.

[-]

nectar_@reddit

Take a couple drags and suck the salt off the pistachio shell. Sounds better than leaves and mystery cream

[-]

Ashurbanipal2023@reddit

Oh good, a drop of peanut butter and a cigarette of parsley served on a piece of industrial slag, just what I ordered

[-]

Brave-Cook-6272@reddit

NGL I thought this was chocolate cake😭

[-]

Bolly_Eggs@reddit

IDC but they've done a damn poor job of rolling that joint

[-]

suave324@reddit

I legit thought it was a joint and half a peanut on a plate at first glance

[-]

makemeking706@reddit

On mobile, and I thought it was some sort of garnish set up to look like it was smoking a cigarette with a clove of garlic.

[-]

Vli37@reddit

Also on mobile,

At first I thought it was a used cigarette and a peanut, then I got confused when I noticed the foliage coming out of the cigarette

[-]

Potential-Diver-3409@reddit

Farm to paper

[-]

Bolly_Eggs@reddit

,*fine

[-]

dontmindmejustgonna@reddit

r/1200isjerky

[-]

DarkflowNZ@reddit

There is almost certainly more calories in the plate itself than the food

[-]

Sue_and_deLay@reddit

It also has fibers.

[-]

Sue_and_deLay@reddit

It also has fibers.

[-]

Amegami@reddit

That's a hamster treat on the right.

[-]

Excellent_Cycle4949@reddit

I tough that was a cigarette my god

[-]

I_Am_A_Goo_Man@reddit

Are you feeding a gerbil?

[-]

Illustrious-Bid6449@reddit

Is that a lettuce cigarette?

[-]

birdperson42069@reddit

Hope You pay in pennies

[-]

damiandarko2@reddit

bro eatin some

[-]

Gumnutbaby@reddit

I’m pretty sure this is an amuse bouche

[-]

GtrPlaynFool@reddit

Can you eat the plate?

[-]

Hot-Refrigerator6583@reddit

They actually garnished a peanut?

[-]

Toros_Mueren_Por_Mi@reddit

That will be $75 please

[-]

RealityDreamer96@reddit

And it pribably had a 10 line paragraph description with words in italian, french and greek to make it sound really fancy and upscale

[-]

conrawr@reddit

A singular clove of garlic confit, slow-poached to the edge of surrender, is placed beside a hand-tied bouquet of micro herbs: each leaf chosen to whisper a fleeting note of chlorophyll and spring rain.

The garlic, transformed into a silken purée beneath its own translucent veil, offers warmth and depth to the austerity of the plate.

Presented on a disc of local hand-forged basalt, the composition explores restraint, tension, and the performative act of appetite. Diners are invited to experience the quiet conversation between pungency and purity, presence and absence, flavour and suggestion.

[-]

UrUncleRandy@reddit

I just shared this post with my mom, and she saw your comment and read it outloud while holding back laughter. She says it's one of the funniest things she's ever read :)

[-]

conrawr@reddit

Oh and it's listed as "Velouté d'Ail Fumé avec Rosée d'Herbes Sauvages" or some bullshit and staff are condescending when you ask what a "valoot dale fumay" is

[-]

RealityDreamer96@reddit

Bravo!

[-]

HotTakesBeyond@reddit

You could drop a whole paragraph on the tobacco

[-]

Additional_Yam_8471@reddit

i thought that was a cigarette

[-]

JazzySweetBeats@reddit

I assume this probably meant to be a palate cleanser before the next course but I still don’t know what exactly you’re supposed to do. I guess dip the leaves in the paste and chew on them? Might as well just bring a toothbrush and tooth paste at that point

[-]