Is it common for the public to comment on your appearance in customer service?

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Fickle_Hope2574@reddit

Well yeah your job is to talk to people and your appearance is the first thing they notice so ist going to be commented on. They aren't going to talk about your cat or the wine you had at the weekend.

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Underwritingking@reddit

I'm a man as well, and I would never "compliment people all the time". I don't think "going above and beyond" should trigger a comment about appearance as the two are wholly unrelated and unless you mean you comment solely about the service you receive it seems very odd to me, as it kind of sounds as though people who have delivered excellent service to you wouldn't get a compliment unless their appearance warranted it. I try to always be polite to folk in customer service, especially with the "please" and "Thank you" that many seem to forget, but regulate compliments on appearance would feel creepy to me, and I think they would feel creepy to the recipient, however you mind intend them.

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Fickle_Hope2574@reddit

Meh. I don't see playing someone a compliment as a bad thing and find it really sad that it's seen as a creepy thing to do nowm

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Underwritingking@reddit

You're the guy they all go home and tell their family how uneasy they were made to feel by a tone-deaf creep

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Fickle_Hope2574@reddit

Aha because saying I like someone's hair or their jacket looks nice is creepy?

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Underwritingking@reddit

Yes mate. If they aren’t family or friends it is fucking creepy, they will think you are fucking creepy, the people in the queue near you will mostly think you are fucking creepy. I think you’re fucking creepy.

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Fickle_Hope2574@reddit

Okey dokey then I'm creepy

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Underwritingking@reddit

yep

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Fickle_Hope2574@reddit

Have a great day bud.

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Glass_Chip7254@reddit

Oh well if your job is to ‘talk to people’, like basically every other fucking job, then sexual harassment is fine

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Fickle_Hope2574@reddit

Erm no? Where did I say that as how on earth is commenting on someone's appearance sexual harassment? Are the women complimenting ops makeup sexually harassing her?

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Glass_Chip7254@reddit

Yes it can be in both instances, including from women.

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Fickle_Hope2574@reddit

You realise op is talking about customers right? But sure I would love to hear of someone being sued or charged with sexual harassment for saying someone's make up looks nice, please link that case I'm genuinely interested.

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Glass_Chip7254@reddit

This exact circumstance is likely to be covered in future law around third-party harassment, where employers will be responsible for taking all reasonable steps to protect staff from harassment by third parties, including customers.

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Obvious_Armadillo_16@reddit (OP)

By that logic, you'd get comments on your appearance every time you speak to someone new?? It doesn't mean they must comment on your appearance 🤣

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Fickle_Hope2574@reddit

If you work in customer service sure what else would a conversation started be if not physical appearance? Or are you saying every single customer comments on your appearance?

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Isgortio@reddit

I worked at Homebase when I was 16 and I have never been hit on by older men as much as when I was working there. Even when I told them I was 16, they'd still ask to take me home with them. I think older men just get off on making young women feel uncomfortable when they're at work and they're being forced to talk to them.

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Glass_Chip7254@reddit

Exactly. There’s one in this very thread crying that I blocked him

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BrieflyVerbose@reddit

> complimenting my makeup if I chose to wore any that day. Most of the comments were from older men tho which was creepy Get used to it I work on a bar as I go through my degree, and all the girls in their 20s are absolutely sick of older men just saying shit, and to be honest I'm fucking sick of hearing it too. I'm 39, I'm friends with the people that I work with and some of the younger ones I feel like I need to back up. Our management allows us to put customers in their place when they're rude or annoying, and they will back their staff. It's men my parents age, mid 50s and above, are the worst for it. In most cases, whenever the girls, or any of us have called people out for it, it's people in that demographic. I literally threw somebody out myself last night for saying inappropriate shit, bloke in his 50s saying things like that to a 21 year old. I'm guessing you don't work in a Wetherspoons that allows you to bite back, so you kinda just have to get used to it unfortunately.

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VerbingNoun413@reddit

Wetherspoons allows you to bite back?

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BrieflyVerbose@reddit

Yeah man, we don't take shit. Management has our backs when customers are rude to us, always are. As long as we are reasonable and don't actively try and escalate, it's fine. I was specifically told by management a few weeks in to not take shit from rude customers. So if your rude to me, you get one warning, carry on and I'll tell you that I'm not dealing with you anymore. I couldn't give a fuck, I'll serve somebody else because we are always busy. I've been there nearly three years, I've told two people directly to fuck off (so it's not like it's happening constantly like). The most recent one made a colleague cry, I refused to serve him and told everyone other person on the bar not to serve him, then I told him where to go. Manager walks in after seeing her crying in the back, knobhead customer points at me and says "He's told me to fuck off" and my manager without skipping a beat "Well, why haven't you? Out!"

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OwineeniwO@reddit

I think it's common for young women.

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WhiteDiamondK@reddit

Trust me, also for young men. Dirty old men get all the hate, but women can be just as predatory.

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hdhxuxufxufufiffif@reddit

My experience of working in a bar was that men, young and old, were far more likely to make inappropriate comments. But women, especially middle-aged-to-older women, were more likely to grope (usually either arse slaps, bicep grabs or pec rubs) my younger male colleagues. And they would usually be absolutely shocked and indignant that we chucked them out. I'm not saying men don't grope, but I think there's an understanding even amongst the pervs that it would cross a line, whereas a small minority of dirty old women didn't see it that way.

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becca413g@reddit

100% I’ve been quite disgusted by how other women think they can behave towards men yet they’d think it was terrible if men treated them the same way.

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BeatificBanana@reddit

I used to work in a stuffy country hotel with my husband (then boyfriend) when we were both around 22 years old. He got hit on by old women just as often as I got hit on by old men. Once, a roughly 70 year old woman - whom he'd never met before - actually full on tried to kiss him on the lips!!

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Individual-Fox9173@reddit

When I was 18, I used to work with a much older woman who groped me because she wanted to know if the rumours about black men were true. I was very disappointed in her. And I think she was kinda disappointed in me lol

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Glass_Chip7254@reddit

Yeah I’ll believe you when young men are murdered or sexually abused at the same rate as women. What a fucking ignorant comment.

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Spiritual_Weather656@reddit

One time my mum got mad at one and said "your names Thomas like the tank engine" and cackled out loud Yeah they'll do anything I guess?? I try not to be rude to any of them but I understand people's frustration sometimes, makes me want to, but it doesn't help me so why bother... Just seethe inside like a normal person

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VerbingNoun413@reddit

I'm a special case here I think. I get a lot of compliments on my nails amd accessories. And a lot of dickheads calling me sir.

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Any-Reserve9887@reddit

I’m not that young anymore but occasionally still get comments at work about my appearance- honestly I don’t even think it’s appropriate to say that I look nice or my outfit looks nice- the other day a colleague wanted me to do a 360 turn so she can check out my outfit???? It’s so inappropriate and makes me uncomfortable. This is how I try to maintain boundaries professionally. I don’t thank people that compliment me, instead I change the subject quickly. I avoid eye contact if I feel like uncomfortable and I think my body languages tells that to them. If a colleague made me feel uncomfortable I avoid them for a while. Difficult with costumers of course but you will need to learn some tricks - the comments doesn’t stop as you get older by the way

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St3lla_0nR3dd1t@reddit

It is a very repetitive thing to go through the tills for cashiers and customers, any chance to take it out of the ordinary gets accepted.

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smellyfeet25@reddit

just be grateful they were compliments. the insults they may have been keeping to themselves ha ha

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InkedDoll1@reddit

Yep. I got "what did your mum say when she saw that [a tattoo] on your arm?" and also a woman stage-whispered to her husband "look at the state of her" (referring to dyed hair, piercings and tattoos). This was working in a theatre, not a bank. I didn't say anything bc I didn't want to lose my job.

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H20-Fanatic404@reddit

Yeah i only get compliments from creepy old men.

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FigTechnical8043@reddit

All the time, including weight loss tips. I lost 4 stone before, it was a lot of hard work and I have a lot of good intolerances that, when removed, my weight just drops off. Went through a divorce and said I can't be arsed to maintain this. Some people like me regardless, some people treat me as if I'm about to drop dead, some people try to help but have no info outside of basic tips, some are offended by my existence, then they remember they want me to actually serve them and get something out of me. I'm 5 foot tall, so the height gets a lot of critique. "I'd be thinner if I were a foot taller" and I always try to put a joyful sing song voice on, but on occasion the mask slips. "Oh no, she's human!!!"

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gpowerf@reddit

I miss the day when I would get regular comments about my appearance. I don't miss creepy old women at clubs who thought it was OK to grab anything they wanted, but now that I am old I do miss the good natured comments. A young man recently told me I looked dapped, and honestly he made my day!

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IcyKnowledge6321@reddit

I get 'you look miserable' or 'you should smile more' sometimes- usually at the end of a busy shift or during particularly stressful rushes when i'm just focusing on getting orders filled, and always from men. I have a fairly serious face by default and tend to look a little forbidding unless i'm actively smiling. The last time it happened i'd really had enough and I snapped at the man: "what a nasty thing to say to someone!" He apologised lol.

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raniruru47@reddit

As he should! How certain men and people like that can be so audacious it gets on my nerves 😭

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Glass_Chip7254@reddit

Exactly. It’s almost always men bugging with these sorts of comments. It comes from a place of feeling entitled to women’s attention

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ShockingHair63@reddit

Unfortunately it’s something I imagine is common for lots of young women, but that doesn’t mean it should be something you feel you have to accept, especially if it makes you uncomfortable. When I was younger and working as a teacher I even had a few comments like that from parents. Most of the time it was not meant with any salacious intention, but in any case made me uncomfortable.

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WhiteDiamondK@reddit

You have to look at the intent though. I’m a gay man and if I saw a female server with gorgeous nails or braids, I’d definitely give a compliment, share a little love. If a woman tells a girl how pretty she is , that’s likely coming from a place of compassion.

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Glass_Chip7254@reddit

Yes but it’s not a compliment when you’re in your 30s and asked if you’ve turned up for work experience. Women are treated as much younger than their actual age in the workplace right up until they go through the menopause

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ShockingHair63@reddit

Indeed, I wouldn’t want to go round “cancelling” people, unless they were genuinely acting with malice or in a way that could cause severe discomfort. But we all also need to think about how to be respectful and avoid making people uncomfortable. In my example, I actually mainly felt a little patronised and undermined, especially if a parent said I “looked like a sixth former” in front of a student.

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Sea-Possession-1208@reddit

Yes. It is usually just a little bit of human connection. I'm a doctor and i get comments most days about some aspect of appearence or my room etc

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Severe_Mastodon8072@reddit

I’ve not worked it so I can’t say. I have definitely complimented customer service workers on some aspect of their appearance though. I think always stuff related to their taste (cool nails etc) which I thought was pretty safe. But now wondering if it does happen a lot and gets grating?

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Obvious_Armadillo_16@reddit (OP)

For attractive women, it most likely happens all the time and I think it will differ how it feels for them. For me personally, it just used to catch me off guard. I appreciated it if it was another woman but the men were weird

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Severe_Mastodon8072@reddit

Fair. I’m also a woman and not being weird, but I also definitely have ‘I don’t want to be perceived right now’ moods so I get it.

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That_Northern_bloke@reddit

Full disclosure- bearded bloke with a bit of a belly here. I've never had this, other than the 'oh you're tall, please can you reach this for me?'. Definitely not the kind of appearance that would warrant the comments you get. I could be cynical and guess they're all from men being a bit pervy, however, I'd like to hope that at least some of them are genuinely kind

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Obvious_Armadillo_16@reddit (OP)

I've never got as many comments on my looks than when I worked in retail. It just used to catch me off guard

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Nightowl_1786@reddit

I worked in retail for over 20yrs. The comments would vary from good to bad. Some customers had no shame in what they say & can be hurtful & some are very nice. I once worked in a shop & customer in his 40/50s made a comment stating I was overweight & needed to lose weight & my colleagues was underweight & needed to lose weight. Bear in mind he wasn’t in a great shape either.

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LilacRose32@reddit

Yes, as long as it isn’t problematic it s normal. M My first job at a till comments on my hair were normal. Mostly positive from older ladies. Now, when shopping customer service people sti

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