My First Marital Apocalypse Drill (or: “We’d Have Some Notice, Right?”)
Posted by micropuppytooth@reddit | preppers | View on Reddit | 112 comments
New to prepping, just getting my water storage set up - and tonight I hit the classic checkpoint that I imagine comes in every prepper marriage: The Argument.
Her: “You don’t think we’d have SOME notice before the water just turned off?” Me: “Exactly. I don’t think we can rely on that.” Her: “And you don’t think we could just go get water if that happened?” Me: “In a city of five million? Why take the chance?”
That’s when I realized this isn’t a survival skill issue. It’s PR.
My current strategy: keep repeating “I’d love to include you in this journey” and then re-brand every improvement as her idea.
“You want a condensate pan under the stored water with a leak alarm? Genius. I’m so glad you thought of that.” Now I’m the supportive husband, not the guy stockpiling apocalypse juice in the closet.
Anybody else have good stories (or battle-tested tactics) for winning over the “We’ll be fine!” half of the household?
XRlagniappe@reddit
When the pandemic hit, my wife said I will never question you about all the extra toilet paper, paper towel, and other extra stuff you have. Funny that she never mentioned it before the pandemic, but she must have been thinking it.
We've had a least four water outages in the last 10 years. None had prior notice. It involved several neighboring cities. No bottled water for miles. I will say the city did a great job making sure residences had water. Gave out a case to each household and brought in a water truck to fill your own containers (not sure anyone used it). This last one the city wasn't quite as generous.
Never let a good crises go to waste.
RevolutionarySea4754@reddit
Same but I'm way more out in the middle of nowhere in a small town. We had a boil notice for like 4 months last year. Boiling wasn't helping much and water was a 6 to 8 hour trip to get and in winter roads aren't travel safe or drivable in some areas. Keeping water on hand made it so I stayed out of the panic buying and framers trying to hog it all buying 20 cases plus.
OldMathematician5056@reddit
boiling water doesn't take care of all the garbage in it. I have a portable filtration system that can sit on my counter for clean water. Sierra Madra company has personal water filtration units that are great for emergencies.
Historical_Course587@reddit
Covid was my watershed moment as well. My wife was on sabbatical from working in an ER, so she knew all about healthcare and thought I was crazy. She let me prep, but she wasn't involved. I had been reading about it in China since December of 2019, and when the first cases hit the US in Feb 2020 we started fighting over how I wanted us to avoid public places with two young kids. I'm not an authoritarian spouse, and we don't ultimatum each other, but looking back it was wild how hard I was pushing for something for once - I just wasn't that guy. Anyway, I convinced her to only take the kids to outdoor places for a while, that was the deal.
We were sitting at a park one day when an ambulance pulled up at a house right across the playground. Her brain processes all that kind of stuff in ER mode, so when she saw EMTs not bother to enter the house until they had full hazmat gear on, it flipped a switch in her brain.
She'll complain about things I do ("Why do you keep buying salt?"), but she doesn't question my planning anymore. She knows she doesn't like her ear to the social/cultural/political ground, and she knows that I do it enough for both of us, so when the time comes that I want us to make for a border or start planting every square inch of dirt on the property with food - she'll be with me.
MountainTaker@reddit
That's crazy. And what caused the outages?
XRlagniappe@reddit
Older infrastructure. Who really knows. They claim one of the pipes that broke was within its normal lifespan.
agooddayfor@reddit
RVA???
York93@reddit
It would have been “4 water outages in the last 10 months” if he was in RVA haha
agooddayfor@reddit
Hahahaha no you’re right
nakedonmygoat@reddit
Separate bank accounts. My late husband and I each contributed a fair amount to a shared account for shared expenses. What we had left was ours and the rule was that you could offer an opinion but not a criticism of how the other spent their personal money.
I spent my own money on prep and my husband thought I was silly. But when a hurricane was bearing down on us in '08 and I just sighed and casually got out all my stuff, he changed his tune. We didn't have to brave the crowds scrambling for the last cans of whatever on nearly-empty shelves. We weren't the ones in line afterwards, waiting for handouts.
We were without power for a little over a week. I had all the workarounds to keep us fed, hydrated, and cool and comfortable at night. I even had the foresight to use up the rest of our eggs baking cookies ahead of the storm. There's nothing like a homemade cookie when you're stressed out!
After that, he never said a word about my prepping, and even helped. This came in handy during the Texas Ice Storm of '21 when we were without power for the better part of three days.
I keep refining my system and it's now about as good as I can get it without installing a Generac, which is financially out of my reach at this time.
But even without a disaster, prepping is important if you can afford to do it. In this past summer and fall, a water main broke and my home was without water for several hours. A transformer blew with entertaining pyrotechnics. No power for six hours. Two weeks later it blew again. No power for four hours.
Then my internet went out for several days. No problem. My dedicated DVD player with a screen kept me entertained at bedtime. I'm not really much of a phone person. I prefer books and hobbies during the day but once it gets to be bedtime, glow sticks and solar lanterns aren't enough to keep my spirits up. I need to watch something silly.
So my own experience is that prepping for whatever you think you need to prep for will serve you well in any crisis. You don't always know when that crisis will happen. I sure wasn't expecting my transformer to blow at sundown on a Sunday. I wasn't expecting a water main to break randomly. It only takes one event to convince a partner that the extra water and rechargeable LED bulbs that are lighting the house were a good idea.
Lotusbud25@reddit
Agreed 100% on separate bank accounts, and I taught our kids to always have independence with their finances.
My spouse and kids thought I was a crazy hoarder until the pandemic hit. We had plenty of toilet paper to share with friends and neighbors. I bought a Generac years ago on Black Friday. Family appreciates that too during power outages.
They still don't get my plan for redundancies, water storage and alternate power sources. They don't see the need for a deep pantry, freeze-dried food, wheat berries, or multiples of chainsaws, shovels, etc., so I buy it all myself. I still get the occasional rolled eyes and smirks. I work hard towards these goals and they just don't see the long game.
I think people who have lived through hardships have a better understanding of the importance of being prepared. I married a positive thinker and prepping is the flip side of that coin.
Historical_Course587@reddit
Even if people don't want to fully separate finances, having individual "play money" allowances are a fantastic way to get household spending and a proper budget together. My wife didn't realize how much money we wasted as a family until I put a budget together and laid out that each of us could get $300 for complete frivolity, each kid could get $100, and we could still save 25% of what we made (we didn't save anything at the time).
nakedonmygoat@reddit
I gave some TP, soap, and Clorox wipes to my best workplace buddy during the initial lockdowns.
But I also wasn't above borrowing from my workplace if it came to that, which it didn't. My friend lived farther away, whereas I could just walk 1/3 of a mile and swipe my key card. With no one there, it wasn't like they needed all those toilet and cleaning supplies.
I didn't do it because my stock held out until I could find things online and in stores again, but I was fully prepared to take what I needed and replace it later.
I've always been surprised that more people didn't have the same idea. I had to go back two weeks after we'd been sent home because I needed to retrieve my philodendron that I'd kept alive since 1997. While at the office, I looked around and found no evidence that anyone had been absconding with supplies. The building had no cameras and I know that not everyone bought in bulk like I did.
Imagination is a critical prep skill.
Short-University1645@reddit
My gf turned into more of a prepper than me. As long as you’re not going into debt who cares. Hurricanes kill people after the fact cuz of lack of drinking water.
clf28264@reddit
This: people hear you’re a “prepper” and assume you’re worried about coronal mass ejections and not routine stuff like tropical weather. I’m worried about a Cat 4 making Houston hell for 3 weeks with no water and limited food, much less being able to get gas.
Short-University1645@reddit
Water/food/medical/ entertainment/ and umm guns….. every household in America has them just not in the proper quantities
nakedonmygoat@reddit
Say you've never been poor without saying you've never been poor. I've been too poor to afford dinner, let alone prep.
A truer statement would be that most households that are middle class or better have these things.
dittybopper_05H@reddit
The best preps are the kind that don't cost money. Or are of very minimal cost.
If you've been too poor to afford dinner, that's poor planning on your part, not actual poverty. I mean, I saw a 1 lb bag of store brand rice at my local supermarket for $0.89. That's an entire day's worth of calories (for a 1600 calorie diet).
While eating just white rice is not a good long term nutritional choice^(1), it's perfectly fine as a short term solution, and that's pocket change.
Also, I saw a 5 lb bag of white rice at the Dollar General the other day for $3.50. That's 4 or 5 days worth of calories. No, it shouldn't be your long term plan to survive just on rice, but it's way cheaper than even the cheap ramen noodles.
Also, you might want to read this. Granted, it was written in the mid-18th Century, but there's a lot of good advice about eating on the cheap that applies even today:
https://archive.org/details/bim_eighteenth-century_primitive-cookery-or-th_1767_0
We've made advancements of course in nutritional science in the last 250 to 300 years, but a few days of living off bread or rice isn't going to kill you. Especially if you get some cheap multivitamins
^(1.) ^(Just ask the Japanese Navy.)
nakedonmygoat@reddit
Bullshit.
dittybopper_05H@reddit
My what a trenchant and pithy rejoinder! How can I compete against such language skills combined with impeccable logical arguments?
Got news for you: I've been really poor too. But I always had enough to eat because I planned ahead. I mean, this is the preppers subreddit. I've never had a completely empty fridge and cupboards.
nakedonmygoat@reddit
Have you had a sick spouse who couldn't work but needed meds to survive, and a job that barely paid the rent, leaving you one step ahead of homelessness?
Have you been without a car or paid leave from your crappy job, making it very difficult to even seek out other employment because you have to make sure you get home to play caregiver?
You are vastly underestimating the hardships some people go through.
dittybopper_05H@reddit
Absolutely.
The distaffbopper has had both cancer, and has crippling arthritis and had to get an artificial hip. She can't work and has been on disability now for well over a decade. She just had yet another surgery two months ago, and she hasn't been able to drive herself anywhere now for the better part of a year.
And to top it all off, I have to deal with managing the affairs of my 88 year old father who is suffering from the beginning stages of dementia, on top of mostly managing my own household.
I've been laid off. In fact, I was laid off just two years after having purchased a house, and after I got a new job after a few months (at , I was at my new job for just 6 months until I was laid off yet again, and that lasted for just about 6 months until I found a job I was to stay at for 18 years. Do you know how hard it is to make your mortgage payments when you've budgeted for a certain amount and you lose half of your pay when unemployed, and even when you are you're only making 80% of what you were?
And I only left that job after 18 years because bitter experience had showed me the signs of a business circling the drain, and I got out before I was laid off yet again. They lasted another 2 years before permanently closing.
You're assuming that you're the only person to ever suffer hardship in your life.
I've news for you, you aren't.
smsff2@reddit
Frankly, I don’t see anything awful about your life - at least not compared to 80% of the world.
At one point, I had radiation sickness. The medicine cost 10,000 Deutsche Marks. My grandmother had the money and would have gladly paid; she would have done anything for her grandchild.
But my parents came up with a plan to keep my grandmother in the dark, and I played my part in it. I consciously made the decision to trade my young life for those 10,000 Deutsche Marks so the other grandchildren could benefit from the money.
I’ve always been socially awkward.
Vistemboir@reddit
This for the immediate term indeed: enough calories and vitamins to keep body and soul together for a week/ten days. Then, according to your means and taking advantage of promotions, you can start building up a deep pantry of more balanced -and more palatable- meals.
Short-University1645@reddit
Bottle water, ramen, some books and a high point. I didn’t mention anything about normal person missing a head doesn’t have.
Burntoutn3rd@reddit
The fact is most house do NOT have guns, it's just the houses that do have a fucking lot of them.
dittybopper_05H@reddit
It's about half, or more likely more than half.
Gallup reports that about 48% of households had a gun in 2024, and there is a pretty strong bias towards people *NOT* admitting to having guns to a stranger over the phone, so it's likely higher than that.
https://news.gallup.com/poll/1645/guns.aspx
The lowest reported number is 34%, but that was in the 1999 with the big push for gun control, and after gun owners had been politicized, and events like Ruby Ridge and Waco had made them wary of admitting to owning guns, along with high profile mass shootings like the Thurston High School shooting and especially the Columbine High School shooting.
So gun owners aren't really going to be honest, and there's no way to account for that.
Meanwhile there's no incentive to lie in the other direction.
Also, you are correct that many gun owners own more than one gun, but that's because guns are like golf clubs. You wouldn't go golfing with just a 9 iron, right?
Let's look at a typical load-out for someone who is an avid hunter, and doesn't do any other shooting sports.
A .22 LR rifle for small game.
At least 1 shotgun for small game, turkeys, waterfowl, and perhaps deer hunting. This could be a single shotgun with interchangeable barrels, but it could be multiple shotguns.
A scoped bolt action rifle for deer and/or black bear for areas where you have long sight lines.
A short semi-auto or lever action carbine as a "brush/swamp gun", with iron sights or very low power optic for places where you don't get long sight lines.
A muzzleloader (not legally considered a firearm, but still a "gun") for muzzleloading season.
That's a *MINIMUM* of 5 guns, and I didn't even count handgun hunting, self-protection like concealed carry, home protection firearms like a tactical shotgun, etc., or competition guns for things like IPSC, Bullseye, etc.
CptSandbag73@reddit
Funny enough, shooting every time you pull the trigger is like the one thing Hi-Points are known for.
Heavy, yes. Low mag capacity, also yes. Ugly, absolutely. Likely to be in really trashy hunnit dolla bill wrap? Also yes. Not great, but not terrible accuracy? Certainly.
But generally they are reliable.
NorthernPrepz@reddit
I’ve said before, and ill say it again. This id why outside of this forum I’d never use the words prepper, or prepping or prep, etc. i prefer “contingency enthusiast”.
acertaingestault@reddit
I'd call it safety preparedness and cite the NOAA website
Randomusingsofaliar@reddit
I just say “I am a climate reporter, meaning I willingly throw myself into the aftermath of natural disasters. Of course the back of my car is better stocked than a fall out shelter” and no one questions it
Kementarii@reddit
I'm not a prepper. I just have solar, battery backup, 15,000 gallons of rainwater storage... Just like most people who live rural.
clf28264@reddit
My wife and I are certainly preppers, we’re just worried about natural disasters or weird things like water plant outages. That being said, unless you tore apart our pantry, closets, or our garage no one would know.
AdRelative3934@reddit
Ooooh this is good
nakedonmygoat@reddit
I worry about that too, which is why I have a very robust plan and have also identified a nearby bug out location so I won't get caught in a repeat of the Rita Evacuation catastrophe. I was smart enough to bug out to a safe location nearby during the Rita Evacuation and as it turned out, nothing at all happened in Houston, so my husband and I packed up and went back home the next morning. But if the hurricane had hit here, I would've been safer than those poor saps, stranded, out of gas, and dying alongside their pets, in gridlock on the highways.
Part of prepping includes strategy and creativity. It never includes panic or voluntarily surrounding yourself with people who are panicking.
VernalPoole@reddit
Good point about the panic.
AdConstant4427@reddit
Jepp, genau das. Solange man nicht verschuldet, ist Wasser lagern einfach eine günstige Versicherung gegen den Worst Case.
Short-University1645@reddit
Zardfff….
SonsOfValhallaGaming@reddit
If anything is to be learned from Katrina, the Texas blizzards, the F5 in Joplin in 2011, or more recently, SNAP being taken away from some people, even before the time they'd normally be receiving it, it's that you are going to have warning, and watch people absolutely panic. Lines form at every church, store, market, government facility, all reaching out in unison asking for supplies and help.
And then there's you, who has food, water, emergency power, weapons, a defensible position and/or a retreatable one, with a clear and less traversed escape path. You'll be prepared. That's the entire point. Whether its Tuesday or Doomsday, you'll have the things you need without having to worry about getting it. And while the people are storming the food pantries and harassing the churchs, you'll be the smart one absolutely clearing out a pharmacy of any and all antibiotics, painkillers, sedatives, and other life saving or quality of life improving drugs. You'll be the one hitting the hardware aisle and getting things to long term preserve food and liquids. You'll be the one who has everything you need, and plenty of extras to be utilized for bartering and/or self preservation.
And as someone who has personally witnessed this firsthand, you want to be that guy. Even if it puts others at risk. In SHTF, your obligation is to your family first, local community second, larger community last. Its just the way it is. Couple that with having a good reliable list of skills, an ability to clearly and properly speak and communicate and work as a team, and a willingness to contribute, and you can either tough it solo with the family or join with a few others to form a small, organized group of preppers. Either way, youre prepared, you're set, and you'll be looking at the missus going ''I won't say it, but we both know it.' and she'll just roll her eyes and move on
Robinly_42@reddit
Dont you think your spouse will notice and feel condescended to if you pretend your improvements were her idea? It doesn’t sound like you’re respecting her intelligence. Just ask her to also respect yours: agree on a budget because this is important to you. Include her if she wants.
OtherwiseAlbatross14@reddit
The way they worded it definitely sounds like condescension. Discussing potential issues that could be mitigated with proper preparation and brainstorming ideas together accomplishes the same goal of having them be happy with the outcome without having them think you think they're an idiot.
If you can't make a convincing case for something in an honest way that respects your partner, there's probably a good reason for that.
Whether it be that you aren't being realistic about needs, financial situation, storage space, or just your own ability to communicate a compelling justification.
None of which are solved by putting words in your partner's mouth in a condescending way and trying to gaslight them into believing it was their idea.
micropuppytooth@reddit (OP)
If it sounded condescending, I said it wrong.
My wife voiced that her concern of storing water was more about what if some of it leaks than we’ll never use it. I’m glad she brought up that concern. There are ways to mitigate that concern, and I’m glad she pointed it out. My point is to encourage the fact that she’s bringing up things she’s thinking of rather than just not engaging in the conversation at all.
OtherwiseAlbatross14@reddit
So rather than acknowledging that she has good ideas, you act like you come up with them and just made them sound like hers when talking to other people and come up with a whole story about manipulating her?
You didn't misspeak, you got called out and now you're trying to backtrack.
No_Individual501@reddit
She doesn’t have intelligence to respect.
mediocre-pawg@reddit
Believe me when I say: there’s no time to go buy water.
I lived in Charleston WV in 2014 during the water crisis (storage tanks leaked into the river just above the water company’s intake). It affected about 300,000 customers. I lived 5 minutes from the grocery store and two dollar stores. A news reporter leaked the info on fb before the official press conference. By the time I made it to the store, I was able to get TWO 1 liter bottles at the second store I went to. I gave it to my neighbor to make formula for her baby. Fortunately we had a lot of snow that winter and I melted that for flushing the toilet. I drove an hour away to my parents to shower every couple days, did laundry at their house, and drove another 40 minutes from their house to buy cases of water. Now I keep cases at home and in my car.
Gullible-Cow9166@reddit
From my experience: Buy some earplugs when you go and get your bottled water, that works.
Appropriate-Truth-88@reddit
😂 She's never watched the news during the spring/winter?
Wait until there's a year they are predicting crazy weather like snow in Texas, and get her an online subscription to the local newspaper. When she sees mother nature is never predictable and there's always preventable loss of life due to unpreparedness she'll probably change her mind. Someone didn't put water in their car, and closet. Didn't have enough blankets, didn't have enough canned food and a grill or a fire pit, died.
Texas, and other Southern states, an inch of snow that any northerner would laugh at often immediately shuts everything where you could get these items down. Additionally, there's major accidents that cause people to be stranded on the highway and run out of gas for days. I think this happened a couple years ago and someone froze to death in their car.
Ask her how much warning they got.
You could also do a place you just know has severe weather. You never know when that "minor snowstorm that's a winter norm" turns into a blizzard or an ice storm that knocks the power out for a couple weeks until it's 4am, and there's no light when you need to pee. 😂
Ask her how much notice they got about the power going out.
You don't need her to think it's her idea. You need her to understand that when a real emergency happens you have what you need to survive or you die even in 2025.
17TraumaKing_Wes76@reddit
I haven’t found her, quite yet.
But, SERIOUSLY, I cannot fathom being in a life partnership with someone who doesn’t take disaster preparedness and forward-thinking into account or is so dismissive of reality.
So, kudos to those of you gents who do, cuz I sure as shit can’t. 🤷🏻♂️🙂↔️🤣
ronniebell@reddit
We had a toxic algae bloom in the reservoir that serves a mid sized city near us (we live about 18 miles from said town). People were advised not to boil the water and that water filters would not filter out the toxin. There were fistfights over bottled water, and someone robbed another person, at gunpoint, for their bottled water that they were loading into the trunk of their car. Bottled water was rationed to one gallon or one case of bottles per person, per day. The surrounding towns (we’re rural) soon had no bottled water either. Luckily, this algae bloom did not affect our town but we all soon learned that folks in the larger city that was affected had no problem swooping in and buying all the available water in a 120 mile radius. My hubs soon bought into my idea of storing at least two weeks (or more) of water, which he had been resisting. This led to food storage and gear storage. There was no warning on this water issue. Water was “fine” one day and the next “anyone with health issues, the elderly or small children” should not drink the water. It was chaos for about 4 weeks, even with the city bringing in water stations. The lines were hours long and people were ANGRY. Glad I got to stay out of that mess.
SwinDiesel85@reddit
If your spouse is even remotely interested in camping then it helps to foster that interest and allows you to pass off prepping purchases as camping purchases since there’s a lot of overlap anyways!
ImJustHereForItt@reddit
My wife was with me for 4 years before we were married this past March. We went through 3 hurricanes together. I talked about my hobby of preparation early on and she was all for it. Since hurricane 1, which was a huge category 5 hurricane (Ian) she extremely appreciated my knowledge and gear as we were without power for 15 days and water (well) for 15 days as well. We also had no internet since the storm damage 90% plus of the towers. (I couldn't help that at the time). But she thankfully is all about the lifestyle since it is practical and it helps her out. Most times I don't include her on my purchases because she trusts it will be useful. Also, seems like a lot of the problem (atleast from what you wrote) is a lack of information/education on her end. So maybe just start to educate her on some things and why its a good idea to do something. If she doesn't see the threat of something she won't understand your solutions
Eeyor-90@reddit
On average, our water service is interrupted 6 times per year. I have never had notice beforehand. The outages typically only last a few hours, but often happen at very inconvenient times, like when I'm cooking dinner, or taking a shower.
The nearby grocery stores will run out of water within about 30 minutes if the majority of the people in the neighborhood are running out to buy a few gallons.
Dobbys_Other_Sock@reddit
My husband generally saw my prepping as a hobby and a way to manage my anxiety (which tbf it is). Then we went through Hurricane Ian, Cat 4 (really a 5) no stores open for three days, no electricity for just over a week. Thankfully the house was fine, but just about all of our trees came down. And he didn’t know what to do, meanwhile we had all the food and water we needed, had the bathtub filled to wash clothes in, strung up a laundry line outside, and whipped out a battery powered chainsaw to start clearing the trees.
Now he still isn’t super involved, but doesn’t question why I’m doing things and is more than happy to follow instructions
Emilko62@reddit
It's easier to convince your spouse starting with more realistic shtf scenarios as opposed to very condition specific ones. A natural disaster to an area prone to it can render the tap water undrinkable.
Other circumstances as well, recently happened in a german town as well.
Keeping preps reasonable also tends to help, it's easier to convince your spouse that it's not a bad idea to have 2 weeks worth of food and water as opposed to we need to have at least 3 years of preps and a completely off grid bunker with its own water and air purification system etc etc....
If you can't reasonably articulate the exact WHY and HOW of your prep, then you really are prepping from a source of paranoia.
YaKillinMeSmallz@reddit
"Yeah, we could go get bottled water, but do you really want to spend 2 hours waiting in line with everyone else in the city trying also trying to get water?"
I started prepping because I got tired of scrambling for the last of the batteries and canned food with everyone else just before a hurricane. Much easier to just keep it on hand and avoid the rush, not to mention the chance the store might run out.
Helassaid@reddit
I will always have a generator. Our home in the northeast is mostly insulated from major weather events like hurricanes and tornadoes, but a nor’easter or any blizzard event really could knock out power for days/weeks. I drove all over creation trying to find a generator 5 or 6 years ago before I was able to secure one at Costco. I swore I would never be without one after that day, considering how much food and just creature comforts we lost over the course of a week.
Sarkarielscall@reddit
2 hours waiting in line is downright generous. More like half a day spent going from place to place trying to find somewhere that still has water and then paying through the nose for it.
JanetCarol@reddit
I have questions first.
Do you/ has she ever lived through extreme weather events? Having lived in areas hit by hurricanes and big snow storms, you learn that you sometimes can't just go to the store for water (or bread milk to whatever bc they sell out and people get crazy)
How much are you trying to store? Maybe start low like a week's worth and see if she's more receptive?
The conversation doesn't have to be about like nuclear fallout, it could also be about weather or even bringing up areas that end up boil advisories because of infrastructure issues. Like the greater Richmond area had water issues several times in the last couple years.
It sounds like she's downplaying what you're saying but you may also not be reaching her where it makes sense to her.
AdRelative3934@reddit
People like you I actually applaud. When the world is saying no and calling you crazy, you’re the genius
wihaw44@reddit
When stores were empty during COVID, our stash kept us fed for weeks. Now we treat that time as a dry run, same teamwork, less panic, and way better meal planning. If ever a marital apocalypse hits, at least we know the pantry’s not the problem.
love-every-flaw@reddit
P
CrazyKingCraig@reddit
I framed it as "insurance for the unknown" After hurricane Helena, my wife was completely on board
DollGrrlTrixie@reddit
prepping is my husband's "hobby". whatever he wants to do it alright with me.... he's so worried about the state of the world he doesn't sleep well. he got caught in hurricane sandy on long island.... his power out for like 3 weeks & he vowed 'never again'. i asked him why is he doing all this (because it's a lot of stuff). "because i love you & i want to protect you."
so if you all come into some resistance from your spouse, tell then this. <3
mercedes_lakitu@reddit
Water is the only prep I've used in an honest to God emergency before.
Water main break. 12 degree weather. Icy roads. 9 pm at night. Toddler asleep in bed.
What would you do in that situation? Just not brush your teeth? Gross, even though survivable; I'd rather be comfortable.
Sea-Conversation3467@reddit
ChatGPT post
matchstick64@reddit
Two months ago we had our water shut off by the city with and hour’s notice due to some major leak so where on our street. I got a card on my door. That’s it. I was very glad I had plenty of water and a camp shower in my preps.
anoncop4041@reddit
Real world example. Do you get a notice when the power goes out? The answer is no.
KG7DHL@reddit
My wife tolerated my preps, but wasn't really onboard until two events.
The first event could easily be seen as manipulation on my part, but so be it. I have always kept a backpack in the back of my car that gives me 3 days of walking in any weather, any season. Gear can be tossed as un-needed if/when necessary.
Our children were just old enough that the eldest was left In Charge while we were headed to a Christmas Party about 40 Miles away from the house, across multiple bridges/waterways in a city that expects "The Big One" one of these days, and it was snowing lightly.
I commented on my wife's shoes as we were driving to the event being unsuitable for walking in the snow, and she said something like 'Why would I need to walk in the snow?!?!', to which, (summarized) my response was,
"You know I keep my Backpack in the trunk. I do so, because we live where 'the big one' could hit at any time. If I were at work (about 25 miles from home), no matter the weather or time of day, I could walk home to you and the kids. Tonight, I could still do that, but you couldn't"
Dick move? Yes, but instead of getting mad, she started thinking.
Next weekend I helped her build a backpack for her car, including hiking shoes.
A few months later, I was talking with a friend about the book One Second After, his wife had read it, and she had asked my wife what she thought about it. My wife admitted to not having read it, and my buddies wife said, 'oh. you have to read it'.
So, she starts reading it.
One night, she is reading One Second after, I have my book open, and she puts it down, looks at me and says, 'I want my own shotgun.'.
She got her own shotgun, learned how to use it, and is a full partner in being prepared.
micropuppytooth@reddit (OP)
This! This is where I’m hoping to get. I’m not prepping for the apocalypse. I’m prepping for the fact that we live in a big city and are dependent on everything working the way that it should for our survival.
If everything stops working the way it should, I’d like to be prepared enough that the smartest thing we can do is STAY PUT
International-Sink64@reddit
what kind of shotgun did she get?
KG7DHL@reddit
Stock Remington Police 870.
Gotherapizeyoself@reddit
The incentive for my husband was purely financial. It makes sense to have a deep freezer with two kids. We save money on food. It makes sense to get solar in CA because energy prices keep climbing. It makes sense to have additional essentials because I get them on sale.
Then the pandemic happened and he appreciated that we were prepared. Think about how many people went bulldozing into stores while an airborne pathogen circulated between us. It was really eye opening for him.
SeaWeedSkis@reddit
I read your title and thought this was a "here's how my preps helped me survive the disaster" with an unexpected "I want a divorce" as the disaster.
andyareyouok@reddit
Mine thought i was crazy until she ran out her favourite snacks and i had a secret stach of them with my stock of cans.
micropuppytooth@reddit (OP)
NOW THERE’S AN IDEA
2020blowsdik@reddit
Is your spouse liberal leaning? If so, I can throw some arguments out that will align with her world view to help her get on board
micropuppytooth@reddit (OP)
Curious to hear them!
Tough-Durian-3411@reddit
Does couples therapy count as prep?
micropuppytooth@reddit (OP)
Only if we BOIL OVED!?
AgSinplicityAu@reddit
I had the best bet by rephrasing the discussion: we aren’t “prepping,” we are “investing in our household.” Store what you eat and eat what you store. Across all items, we are simply trying to outpace inflation. The return on that investment is eye opening if you save your receipts and find time to review them on a repetitive basis (we do it annually.) From there the skill building can be passed off as “hobby” and not everything has or should be done as a couple. Best of luck!
ContestNo2060@reddit
Right, it’s a hedge against inflation at best and a lifeline at worse. We do have some good camping gear now though, so there’s that.
PutridWin2070@reddit
We have had a few boil orders in our town - ALWAYS very unexpected and inconvenient. We went to the store and ALL of the water was gone. I don't think we need a "Z0mb1e apocolypse" for you to need water and food storage on hand. A case or two of water bottles can do wonders in every day life events that come up.
PrisonerV@reddit
Hi. I'm a prepper and I wouldn't suppose my spouse prepping for the apocalypse. In fact, I think we'd divorce over it.
Prepping for Tuesday is normal and healthy and, most importantly, prudent.
dMatusavage@reddit
Hurricane Harvey did some damage to my city (Victoria, Texas)but nothing like Jamaica.
BUT our entire city water system failed when we lost electricity and the backup generators didn’t work, either.
No water for 65,000 people for TEN days.
People who didn’t evacuate before the storm hit had a full bathtub of water but tat wasn’t enough to flush the toilet for 10 days.
You need non portable water storage, too.
nakedonmygoat@reddit
And one needs a camp toilet. The line from my house to the main sewer line broke one year and the workers understandably asked that we not flush the toilet until they were done working. So I got out the camp toilet. Having to use it sucked because the only time I want to use a camp toilet is if I'm camping, but when you gotta go, you gotta go.
Camp toilets are available at any price point and spare your water when water is limited. Or when the line across your yard to the sewer main fails.
Mark_in_Portland@reddit
I saw the recommendation to bring a roll of bathroom garbage bags with you when you go on a cruise ship. If the cruise ship looses power you can't use the vacuum toilets that are on board. With a roll of the small garbage bags you do your business and tie it close so your cabin doesn't smell.
That_Play7634@reddit
I was cycling buckets of rabbit manure through the garden when the full scale Ukraine war broke out. My wife, noticing, said "Are you gonna ask me to shit in a bucket too?" And I said, if we go to war, yes. Then she told me a funny story about how her friend put baby diaper poo in a potted plant... Most of the time our conversations don't end so nice.
LongjumpingHouse7273@reddit
You are brand new to prepping. So new that you are just now considering storing extra water. Something caused you to say "hey, we might need some extra water".
But your wife is a big dummy because she didn't see the super cool YouTube videos that you did. She's a big dummy because rather than saying no to extra water she asked why it was necessary and played devils advocate to make sure she understood what you were talking about.
And since you're a big manly man you went to reddit to tell all of us at how super cool you are and how super lame she is. Because women, amiright.
No_Individual501@reddit
tl;dr projection and “I hate men”
jayprov@reddit
This is a bit harsh, don’t you think? This is a gender neutral issue. It’s about making sure that the people you love are protected from harm.
Foreign-Cookie-2871@reddit
You can eliminate all parts that are gendered and the comment still stands.
LongjumpingHouse7273@reddit
I mean, maybe. But the examples he gave weren't dumb questions, they are the questions that all non preppers ask. "Why do we need to do this. Isn't XYZ true"
Prepping is absolutely to protect loved ones from harm. It's the only reason I prep. But if my spouse asked "why do you think we need X" and responded with follow up questions, I don't think that's something to ridicule and that's how I read his post-ridiculing his wife
No_Individual501@reddit
Natural disasters happen. COVID happened. Nothing is guaranteed. Not understanding this to begin with is “but I had breakfast this morning” tier thinking. “But I have water/food/heat now.”
Semi-Serious7@reddit
Go to the breaker box in the middle of the night and shut it all down. When you wake up there's no power... good thing it came on an hour or so later.
Seriously though, my partner has learned through experience what can happen and while that's not optimal it's what it took for her to get behind backup battery systems, water storage, and other necessities.
No-Language6720@reddit
I put it as a way to save money. By gardening, by getting solar panels, paying off the mortgage. I'n female and that's how I convinced my husband just turning it into practical lifestyle changes to save money
XeroEnergy270@reddit
Mine was doubtful at first, but eventually she came around and realized that having supplies in case of whatever brings a lot of security to the home. We live in a small-ish town (60k people), but whenever there is talk of a major storm or god forbid the word "snow" is mentioned, our stores flood like they were told nukes are overhead. She worked at a grocery store, and in other retail spaces, so she became aware of just how hard it is to get necessities in the event that something is announced.
SheistyPenguin@reddit
Yeah, there is some framing that can be helpful vs. unhelpful. I tend to frame prepping as "lifestyle insurance", with a focus on preserving quality of life rather than covering some specific doom-and-gloom scenario.
Between being raised in the country, having kids to protect, COVID, post-COVID inflation, and political+economic turbulence, my wife doesn't need much convincing to invest in some lifestyle insurance. As long as it fits the budget and is grounded in reality (i.e no opulent $1000 items that cover one moonshot scenario).
OtherwiseAlbatross14@reddit
It sure has changed over the past few years. Before COVID it was pretty much whatever it'll be okay with a case of water and whatever food was in the pantry. Maybe stock up a bit before a big storm. COVID made it clear that stocking up on basics necessities(and niceties) to last a month or two isn't a bad idea but a week or two of food and water would likely be enough because we still had FEMA if some disaster struck.
Now we can't even count on FEMA to show up so having months worth of supplies on hand seems almost like the minimum.
I remember when it felt like having a decent stash of cash was enough in the US and the worst part is how recent that was
Routine_Awareness413@reddit
An early warning about filling up tanks is dangerous to the integrity of the water system. Half empty water tanks are a lot more vulnerable because the walls need the mass of the water to stay upright. In a hurricane, they collapse on themselves if they're not fully filled.
Ask me how I know. Six freaking weeks before they fixed the water tanks in our neighborhood. If people would not have stocked up on water right before the hurricane, the tanks would've survived.
Cute-Consequence-184@reddit
I was in the shower one time washing my hair, all soaped up. My hair was down to my waist at the time. Then No water.
I had to grab my water bottles to rinse my hair.
Apparently one of the transformers at the beginning of our road had to be replaced. NO WARNING
Routine_Awareness413@reddit
I agree, but do not make it too obvious. Women are way smarter than us in that regard.
You could also tell your wife that a friend of yours (me) told you that the best birthday gift I ever gave my wife was a bucket of water that I hauled up a mountain after a hurricane so she could take a shower after not having one for six days.
cloud_coder@reddit
You should make hard tack.
Think_Cupcake6758@reddit
You should absolutely be including your wife in your prep plans no matter what. My husband would roll his eyes every time I came back from Costco with a ‘haul.’ I wasn’t buying out the store, but if I saw a good deal on an item or two that were shelf stable and had multiple uses (think bleach, microfiber cloth, salt) I would pick them up and store them. Every time we went to Tractor Supply, I’d grab a package or 2 of zip ties in various sizes and again, he’d roll his eyes at me but he thought about it and decided they were good choices. There were other items too but I won’t bore you with that! Soooo…when I came back from Costco last week with a 50lb bag of rice he happily helped me portion it out into 2 cup increments, cut and marked the bags and ran the vacuum sealer for me. Be patient, buy with intention (and sometimes with explanation) and at some point she will understand why you are doing what you are doing. Once she sees the fruits of your labors no doubt she will be coming home with her own ‘haul’ and you’ll have a reliable ally. Best of luck to you both!
VernalPoole@reddit
A phrase I hear a lot of is "It'll all work out." Yeah, duh, because I'm doing all the work in advance of the need!
socialpresence@reddit
So you think you should emotionally manipulate your wife into prepping? This is a PR issue but it's not a PR issue with your wife it's a PR issue with you.
My wife is very much the "we'll be fine" kind of person. Meanwhile I daydream about all of the ways my family could die a preventable death in emergency situations. My wife has never cared that I keep things we don't "need" but she always sort of chuckled at me. Then we had a series of power outages. All of a sudden we had everything we needed and most things we wanted despite nearly no one else in our area having it. The first night she looked at me and said "I guess we won't have coffee in the morning" I asked her why and smiled. She didn't know I planned for that creature comfort. The next morning her phone was charged, breakfast was made and hot coffee was ready for her.
I could have explained the value to her beforehand but she wouldn't have cared. I showed her the thought and care I put into making sure we were good when we otherwise wouldn't be. Could we have stopped at a convenient store or Starbucks on our way to work for a cup of coffee? Of course. But that wasn't the point. The point was, I planned ahead for her I cared enough about her to make sure she was good. And the thing is, that wasn't a manipulation, I was doing those things for her when I planned ahead. When we first moved into our house together I bought a ton of first aid things and OTC meds, I also asked her what kind of feminine products to buy her and I got them for her. I bought a lot of it all and I replenish it as it gets used. She hasn't bought any of those things herself in years. She doesn't have to think about it, it's just there. She doesn't care that we have 6 boxes of tampons because she just knows they're there.
I'm not a big poetry guy but If but Kipling is one of my guiding lights and these line are helpful in your situation:
"If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you; but make allowance for their doubting too"
Every now and then my wife will ask me "do you really think we'll need that?" I don't try to sell her on us one day needing it, I make allowance for her doubting. I acknowledge that we probably never will but if we do need it, we'll be really glad that we have it and if we did need it, it would be easier to get it now and we'll be glad we have it.
My preps provide her with a real benefit and cost her nothing, financially or space. But if she's asking questions, don't dismiss them. There's a real chance she's right and there's an even better chance she'll ask you a question that will make you more prepared than had you dismissed her thoughts and concerns.
JanieLFB@reddit
We lived for 16 years in a neighborhood with buried power lines. When the power got knocked out, we were first back. It was great.
We had a hurricane run through. The power went out and we went to bed. The next morning the power came back on.
No water.
Apparently the hurricane caused a tidal over wash into the city water station. They cut off the water for 24 hours to alert everyone to the boil advisory.
In the meantime, our children’s swimming pool in our backyard was our only source of toilet flushing water. We had to haul 5 gallon buckets from the yard into the house UPSTAIRS to flush a toilet.
It was not fun. The toddler child was potty training and the older child were both pros at flushing the toilet. We quit trying to put the bucket of water into the tank (because the kids would immediately flush!) and we just poured some into the bowl to rinse down whatever.
So, no. No notice for the city to kill the water because the water system had been compromised. This was around 2000.
EisForElbowsmash@reddit
My wife occasionally gets over paranoid about very bizarre and specific scenarios that are extremely unlikely to happen or wants redundancy for everything up to a zombie apocalypse.
My main task with her is keeping her grounded for local and frequent emergencies rather than trying to plan for a global collapse.
vraedwulf@reddit
I got serious about water prepping after the internet company was given an outdated utilities map and accidentally cut our water main while trying to install a fiber optics line. drinking water wasn't hard to find, but flushing the toilet suddenly became a logistical nightmare. We had a Water BOB before it happened, and thought we were covered but that requires some notice to prepare, now we have full water containers in the basement.
It's easier to consider a scenario about small disasters, rather than big Disasters.
in_pdx@reddit
In early 2020, a coworker convinced me that the cases of Covid we that were in the news was going to turn into a full-blown pandemic. At the time I shared a home with an adult relative. As I researched and learned that could mean supply shortages, lack of access to emergency health care and some period of time in lock-down, I started to gather medical, daily life, and entertainment supplies. My relative did not join me in the preparations and I could tell it was because the thought of a possible situation where we would need the items was too terrifying for her. I quietly went about preparing without mentioning it to her. I’m not sure she ever really realized that I had done any preps and just took having what we needed for granted. Had I pressed the issue, it would have just added unneeded stress.
Enigma_xplorer@reddit
So I get what your driving at but this feels way too manipulative for me.
I mean the whole "I’d love to include you in this journey" or else what? Your letting me down? Come along or be left behind like your not partners anymore or your building a divide between you? Way to tug on those emotional strings. Making it feel like it was her idea? There is value in asking questions and posing scenarios that may lead her to the same understand that you have but that's not an honest conversation. I mean your putting her in a spot through a series of leading questions and scenarios to try lead her into your line of thinking then making her feel like the actions you've taken were the result of her ideas making her responsible for the outcome you led her into. This feels like the sort of tactics a used car salesman would use who selectively use crumbs of knowledge and fear to dishonestly lead people into things like extended warranties and overpriced ceramic coatings.
I think you can make a great case for why prepping is a good idea but it's going to come from an honest discussion not from a place of manipulation. You do you but to me this is just not a great way to handle a relationship in general.
ScrivenersUnion@reddit
The best thing for me was to specifically make my preps pay off in real time and call attention to it.
Also, always say "we" when referring to decisions. Even if they did nothing, even if they gave you crap about it, they get to share in the victory or they'll continue to see it as your kit and not the family's kit.
You got a flat tire? Good thing we put recovery gear in both vehicles!
Kid just splattered dinner all over the table! Sure am glad we have spare clothes in our kit!
DeFiClark@reddit
Pandemic and a four day power outage during the pandemic changed my wife’s opinion.