Is it ok for me to wear my Dad's medals to Remembrance Day ceremony tomorrow?

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DTH2001@reddit

With a relative’s medals you wear on the right side of your chest (own ones are worn on the left)

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The_Gene_Genie@reddit

How close a relative? I have my great-granddads. Would that be acceptable? Not necessarily planning to, but would be good info to have

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RafRafRafRaf@reddit

Direct descendant/closest relative definitely fine. I think it may get questionably OTT when the person has passed from living memory*, but that’s a personal vibe based take, there isn’t a rule.

living memory = someone that knew them is still alive (my Granny remembers her grandparents…)

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Gareth79@reddit

I think that's a fair rule - either you knew the person who was given them, or you are wearing them for somebody who is unable to attend (whether they would have worn them on the left or right).

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lubbockin@reddit

Didn't know this, thanks, we always have something else to learn.

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Commercial_School893@reddit

Is that on the right viewed from the front or from the back?

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My dad was told by his sergeant major that's it's fine to wear your Dad's medals, as long as you wear them on the right-hand side of your chest, so that it's obvious that you're not claiming them as yours.

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cgknight1@reddit

This is correct.

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Think-Committee-4394@reddit

100% otherwise it counts as stolen valour, very much a bad thing

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SaltShakerXL@reddit

I think that the term “stolen valour” is an American term that has specific legal implications as well as being socially unacceptable. In the uk we do not have the same laws surrounding pretending/exaggerating one’s military ties and so “stolen valour” is not used. A member of the public might refer to someone who pretends to have or exaggerates their military experience as a Walter Mitty instead.

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L9GTX@reddit

Although looking at the actual US federal law - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stolen_Valor_Act_of_2013 - it seems to apply only to falsely claiming a medal for the purpose of obtaining some tangible benefit (money etc.), which I think would also count as fraud in UK law.

Although "stolen valour" (or I guess "valor") as a general term definitely gets used a lot more broadly in the US, often for anyone claiming to have served when they didn't.

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Chalky1949@reddit

US law is utterly irrelevant, counts for nothing in the UK. OP is perfectly welcome to wear his father's medals, as am I, but they must be worn on the right side of the chest. Only medals awarded to the wearer can be worn on the left side.

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Eborcurean@reddit

It's was illegal from 1894 to 2006 when the armed forces act didn't include the clause from the army act 1955.

There was then a bill in 2016 ‘Awards for Valour (Protection)’ that May's government supported that got to a second reading but didn't go anywhere as the government didn't keep it up.

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zokkozokko@reddit

Though, ironically, Walter Mitty was a creation of the great American humourist James Thurber.

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CarpetGripperRod@reddit

Yeah. It's also MOD guidance on what is obviously quite a sensitive issue. IIRC it is only "next-of-kin", level, so wearing grandparent's medals is frowned upon, son/father, mother/daughter, sibling is OK.

Personally, I have not and never would because of the implied message that I am the son of an ex-service member... and who is to know, really?

But, yes. OP is totally on solid ground wearing them on the right,

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agesto11@reddit

The MOD guidance says 'next of kin', but the British Legion guidance says 'near relative'

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cregamon@reddit

Does that mean that we’re likely to see less people wearing medals at services and ceremonies as ‘sons and daughters’ of people who served die off?

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reddevil18@reddit

guidance and not a rule i hope, i was raised by my granddad and have his army medic tattoo mimicked on me

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CarpetGripperRod@reddit

Medics and chaplains, man! Those who enter into battle zones only to help the fallen (sometimes of the enemy), and not to kill. Best of the best!

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-DoctorSpaceman-@reddit

There’s a comedy sketch in here somewhere over a misunderstanding over the word “right”

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darkslideout@reddit

They looked right in the mirror

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wriggles24@reddit

TIL!

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Simbak75@reddit

Yes, wear them with pride but on the right-hand side of your chest. This is accepted and shows that you are being respectful and not claiming them as your own.

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Englandshark1@reddit

Exactly right! Wear them with pride to honour your Dad.

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Fickle-Salamander-65@reddit

Have a look on the British Legion site. They have guidance on this sort of thing.

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Krakshotz@reddit

If you are the next of kin of a deceased service person, it is common practice to wear your relative’s decorations and medals as a mark of remembrance. It is custom to wear medals on the right breast in civilian dress only, official approval is not required to wear relative’s medals. Current serving personnel should not wear relative’s medals or unofficial medals whilst wearing uniform.'

From the gov.uk website

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Gareth79@reddit

Interesting, gov.uk says "next of kin", RBL says "near relative".

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Feisty_Blueberry9059@reddit

There's no official rule per say just guidelines .

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Christine4321@reddit

Its fine and commonly done as long as you wear them on your right hand chest, not your left. Youll see widows, children often wear their loved ones medals…..on the right.

Under no circumstances do you wear them on the left, as though you won them. Youll see yourself on the Walter Mitty Hunters Club list if you did.

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Gareth79@reddit

I think they tend to do only go for people where there's evidence of the person doing it deliberately - ie. somebody asked them where they served and they lied, or they are wearing a beret. A relative making a mistake and not knowing the rule would not get done over.

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appletinicyclone@reddit

Walter Mitty Hunters Club

What's that

[-]

I-Dont-L@reddit

Looks like an online group that investigates/shames cases of stolen valour, where people falsely claim to be serving or former military.

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irish_horse_thief@reddit

I would feel a fraud wearing even a family member's medals. It's shameful to wear unearned military medals. No matter which side of chest. It won't make you special on the day, it's attention seeking behaviour.

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ArthurRoan@reddit

I know it’s officially allowed in the UK and Commonwealth countries to wear a relative’s medals on the right-hand side, but honestly, I think the optics are awful.

A medal is something that was earned by the person who lived through it. it represents their service, sacrifice, and sometimes trauma. When someone else pins it on, even “just for remembrance,” it ends up looking like they’re borrowing someone else’s honour to show association.

What makes this tradition even stranger is that it’s basically unique to the UK, Canada, and a few Commonwealth nations. In most other countries, including the U.S. it’s completely prohibited to wear medals you didn’t earn. You can display them at home or at a memorial, but not wear them.

I get that people mean well, but remembrance doesn’t have to be performative. You can honour your dad or granddad without putting their medals on your own chest. Some things just aren’t ours to wear.

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ExArdEllyOh@reddit

Its borrowed valor

Bugger off with your Yank spelling and sensibilities.

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Bottled_Void@reddit

So you're basically saying the Elizabeth Cross should never be worn.

It's almost like different cultures will have different opinions on what wearing a medal means.

And remembrance doesn't have to be performative? Well, I guess we should all stay home tomorrow and not go to any ceremonies.

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ArthurRoan@reddit

Do you even know what your countries medals are about? Maybe you should google it before you try to use one to make a point so you’re not talking BS.

The Elizabeth Cross isn’t comparable. It’s specifically awarded to next of kin as a recognition of loss. it literally belongs to the family member, not the deceased service person. So wearing it isn’t “someone else’s medal.”

As for “different cultures,” sure, but I can still think a cultural norm has bad optics. The UK/Canada tradition of relatives wearing medals is unique in the world, and most countries outright prohibit it. That difference alone shows it’s not some universal good, it’s a choice, and choices can be questioned.

And no, I never said people shouldn’t attend ceremonies or honour veterans. Going to a remembrance event and quietly paying respect is remembrance. Pinning medals you didn’t earn on your own chest is performance. Honoring valor vs borrowing valor.

One honours the sacrifice. The other displays association. There’s a difference, and it’s worth talking about.

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Bottled_Void@reddit

And... you live in the UK? I only ask because many of your posts are specifically not UK based. And this subreddit is AskUK.

Here is the sidebar:

The #1 subreddit for Brits and non-Brits to ask questions about the United Kingdoms life and culture, and we invite users to post interesting questions about the UK that create informative, good to read, insightful, helpful, or light-hearted discussions.

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ArthurRoan@reddit

Do you even know what your countries medals are about? Maybe you should google it before you try to use one to make a point so you’re not talking BS.

The Elizabeth Cross isn’t comparable. It’s specifically awarded to next of kin as a recognition of loss. it literally belongs to the family member, not the deceased service person. So wearing it isn’t “someone else’s medal.”

As for “different cultures,” sure, but I can still think a cultural norm has bad optics. The UK/Canada tradition of relatives wearing medals is unique in the world, and most countries outright prohibit it. That difference alone shows it’s not some universal good, it’s a choice, and choices can be questioned.

And no, I never said people shouldn’t attend ceremonies or honour veterans. Going to a remembrance event and quietly paying respect is remembrance. Pinning medals you didn’t earn on your own chest is performance. Honoring valor vs borrowing valor.

One honours the sacrifice. The other displays association. There’s a difference, and it’s worth talking about.

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Comrade--96@reddit

Out of interest what would happen if you did just wear on left? (Other than lack of respect for the traditions and professionalism).

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cgknight1@reddit

people may think you are a Walt:

https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/forums/waltenkommando.192/

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ExArdEllyOh@reddit

How is the Lord Shortt these days?

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ExArdEllyOh@reddit

People will think you're an immortal or more probably a twat if you wear WWII campaign stars.

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GlitteringBryony@reddit

Officially, nothing - It's not like the police will stop you and demand you turn them over - But it's seen as trying to impersonate a member of the armed forces, usually called "Being a Walter Mitty" here in the UK. If you keep doing it, eventually the actual ex-servicemen locally will probably get annoyed, and eventually will probably record you and "put the word out" that you're impersonating. The people who do try to impersonate servicemen are a minor problem (apparently about 10% of people seeking treatment for specifically combat-related PTSD were never actually in combat, and many of them were never in the forces at all) - Most of them are trying to scam money, eventually, whether straightforwardly or by getting opportunities meant for ex-servicemen.

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Normal-Ad2587@reddit

You don't have to be in combat to suffer PTSD from the forces.

Body recovery for one, especially when it's people you know and a tonne of nasty accidents account for a lot of them. Helicopter crashes just as an example.

Infact, accidents account for a lot more deaths in service than firefights with the enemy. A lot of people witnessing and dealing with said deaths can suffer PTSD as a result.

I think it's a common misconception.

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GlitteringBryony@reddit

That's why I was trying to be clear about saying "Combat ptsd" not any other kind of ptsd.

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OMGItsCheezWTF@reddit

Thing is, it's essentially cosplaying after a certain point. If you're using it to actually scam money we do have laws against that, the means they are using to do it are kind of irrelevant. If someone wants to pretend to have medals, I honestly don't see how it's a problem in and of itself, bit weird, but let em be weird I say.

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Comrade--96@reddit

Thank you - was interested 🙂

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CommunityOld1897GM2U@reddit

YES Absolutely just wear them on the correct side. A pads brat here too

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Voodoopulse@reddit

Yes you should wear them on the right hand side

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ErectPotato@reddit

Don’t bother linking to that page

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appletinicyclone@reddit

That's really cool that they include that

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Agitated_Horse24@reddit

Love this.

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jamnut@reddit

I wouldn't if I were you, last time I tried it I got funny looks for wearing my dad's iron cross.

Honestly, the disrespect for a serviceman, shame

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Kind-Combination6197@reddit

I gave my eight year old son his great grandfather’s medals to wear in his cubs uniform on parade last year. I assume nobody thought for second he was trying to claim they were his own.

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Voodoopulse@reddit

'You didn't earn those medals in the Somme'

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Embarrassed-Basis-60@reddit

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CarpetGripperRod@reddit

Fyck me... that's too funny for before 06:00 on a Sunday!

/me tips fedora

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MummyPanda@reddit

Yes but wear then on the opposite side

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VisibleOtter@reddit

Did you earn those medals? If not, then the answer is obvious. Wearing them yourself would be doing your father a disservice.

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Realistic-Border-635@reddit

Ignorant and inaccurate. Sons and daughters of servicemen and women should be encouraged to wear their parents medals with pride. Because it is something to be proud of.

The preferred approach is to wear them on the right side of the chest to indicate that they are not the wearer's medals.

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VisibleOtter@reddit

Nonsense. That’s like buying medals on eBay and wearing them like you earned them.

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Realistic-Border-635@reddit

No, it's being the proud son (in my case) of one of the greatest generation who can no longer attend remembrance services himself.

My father was just one of millions who risked their lives as young men for what they believed to be right. I make no claims on his medals other than to have inherited them and they represent a tangible connection to his memory.

The MOD understands that, the British Legion understands that, and the OP should be proud to wear his father's medals.

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ArthurRoan@reddit

Pride in someone else’s sacrifice doesn’t mean wearing it on your own chest. That’s not remembrance. that’s borrowed Valor.

Glad that this is only an UK thing

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Voodoopulse@reddit

Why post about something you've clearly not got a clue about?

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VisibleOtter@reddit

Oh bless. My old man served in WW2 and would have been embarrassed to fuck if I’d worn his medals at a parade like some military cosplayer.

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independent_observe@reddit

Imagine, all you had to do was not comment, but you must like being factually incorrect.

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cgknight1@reddit

Yes the MOD guidance gives an obvious answer:

"If you are the next of kin of a deceased service person, it is common practice to wear your relative’s decorations and medals as a mark of remembrance. It is custom to wear medals on the right breast in civilian dress only, official approval is not required to wear relative’s medals."

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AdObvious3334@reddit

Silly question, but right side as in looking at you or right side as in your right when you look down?

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Afraid-Priority-9700@reddit

Right side as in your right.

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AdObvious3334@reddit

Thank you 🙂 I appreciate it

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TheRealTiGrENG@reddit

Your right side. As if they were your own medals they'd be worn on the left over your heart.

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AdObvious3334@reddit

Thank you, my partner is ex-military and I know if I asked he'd think you should know that you've seen me wear them on the left 😅🤦🏼‍♀️

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mildOrWILD65@reddit

Do it properly, with honor and respect, and I thank you for your father's service.

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Negative_Touch_3956@reddit

Hmmm. After reading all the comments, it’s still unclear. Can he do this though?

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independent_observe@reddit

After reading all the comments, it’s still unclear.

Really? Because an hour before you commented, someone posted the official rule on the matter After reading all the comments, it’s still unclear.

So, you ether did not read all the comments or have a serious reading comprehension issue.

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Imaginary-Rent1816@reddit

Why not. There’s enough nazis wearing poppies.

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Some-Air1274@reddit

Why would you be doing this? You didn’t earn them.

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independent_observe@reddit

Why would you be doing this?

Because the British Military has said it is a good way to honour your father by wearing his medals on the right side.

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cgknight1@reddit

Because it is common custom as long as worn correctly - you have not been playing too many American video games have you? Don't understand our UK customs?

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Some-Air1274@reddit

No I’m a British citizen but I’m just an ordinary person.

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Odd-Currency5195@reddit

No. I don't know why people are saying 'yes'. You didn't win them. Have them maybe on a board or something and hold that in front of you with his name and details of his regiment, but, no, YOU do not 'wear' them.

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independent_observe@reddit

r/confidentlyincorrect

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cgknight1@reddit

>No. I don't know why people are saying 'yes'.

Like the MOD you mean?

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/medals-campaigns-descriptions-and-eligibility#wearing-of-medals

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JeffSergeant@reddit

Like the MOD you mean?

Them and who's army?

oh.

[-]

Baby8227@reddit

They are saying yes because even on the government website it says to do this. Delete your comment mate. It’s embarrassing for you.

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Heps_417@reddit

Yes you can, you wear them the opposite side, literally in MOD policy.

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Voodoopulse@reddit

Amazing that you know more than the MOD and the British legion

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OneCheesecake1516@reddit

Yes but on the right hand side.

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arioandy@reddit

Absolutely

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ConsciouslyIncomplet@reddit

Yes - in fact wearing the medals by family Members is encouraged - ‘lest we forget’.

You should wear them right breast. Left breast for any service medals you have be awarded.

[-]

ItsDominare@reddit

I definitely would never even contemplate wearing medals awarded to someone else, but you do you.

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cgknight1@reddit

it is not a matter of "you do you" - it is common practice when done in the correct way.

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ItsDominare@reddit

I don't care one bit how common it is. I said what I said.

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Some-Air1274@reddit

I agree!

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maceion@reddit

Wear on your right breast at pocket height.

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foldy86@reddit

That sounds awful painful though

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Dyalikedagz@reddit

No. Cringe af.

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SchruteFarmsIntel@reddit

Fucking toss pot

[-]

AskUK-ModTeam@reddit

Don't be a dick to each other, or other subreddits, places, or people.

Don't be a dick to each other, or other subreddits, places, or people. AskUK contains a variety of ages, experiences, and backgrounds - consider not everyone is operating on the same level or background as you. Listen to others before you respond, and be courteous when doing so.

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smellyfeet25@reddit

no. you are paying tribute to his bravery

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Belle_TainSummer@reddit

Royal British Legion Official Guidance here:

https://support.britishlegion.org.uk/app/answers/detail/a_id/2290/kw/wearing%20relatives%20medals/session/L3RpbWUvMTc2MjYzNTc2Ni9nZW4vMTc2MjYzNTc2Ni9zaWQvZlUxcEMySmY3SDB2VGxYTUFBZHZmWkFEcTk0VWczRnpEOXBpUlNud2ZxZ3dEcGNkRFlNOGQwcTgyaWhrN0dfSHQ0QkwlN0V1RENhNWl5VDF1U0ltJTdFRWpVamtpZmJyS0RJX0JPQ2IzZDJ0bmRhaU9Ld1dqMk5FRHNVZyUyMSUyMQ%3D%3D

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Baby8227@reddit

This is exactly what others are posting. You’re strange!

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ClassicPart@reddit

This is exactly what others are posting. You’re strange!

This is you, staring at a sign that says “warning: vomit on floor” loudly wondering why there’s no vomit on the floor.

It somehow hadn’t occurred to you that it had already been cleaned up in the time between the sign going up and you arriving.

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cgknight1@reddit

lots of people have edited and/or deleted.

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Belle_TainSummer@reddit

Yes, a lot of people have edited their posts from when I first posted. Originally it was a sea of "Stolen Valour" type posts. Thank you for joining the conversation late. See if you can find a seat at the back now.

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Baby8227@reddit

Nah, I’m good at the front thanks Lurch.

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PavlovaToes@reddit

...which is the same answer most people are giving

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simonecart@reddit

Was he a German fighter pilot?

(My wife's joke but it made me laugh which as unusual because she's usually as funny as piles)

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EatStatic@reddit

As Henning Wehn says “my dad died in a concentration camp, he fell out of his watchtower”

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Icy_Consideration409@reddit

Jerry Sadowitz did that joke first.

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Tiny-Wrap7332@reddit (OP)

Thanks for all the replies! I'll be there, medals on the right.

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Normal-Ad2587@reddit

Course you can and should. Just put them on your right as opposed to left. Your dad earnt them and his family played a big part in that.

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Low_Border_2231@reddit

I would say yes if it is close and you have a story to tell. Sounds like you do, go for it following the correct protocols.

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Ill_Cheetah_1991@reddit

As said before - you wear them on the right is they are in remembrance of a family member

I can;t do that as my Dad was injured in WW2 and last time his medals were officially mentioned my Dad offered to insert them up the rear orifice of the pompous Air Vice Marshall that was telling them how well they had done and how their sacrifice was worth it.

The AVM was ushered out by a nurse and my Dad never got his medals - not that he wanted them!

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Embarrassed-Basis-60@reddit

Your dad has honour.

Respect

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just_some_other_guys@reddit

If you did want to claim his medals, and as long as you are his next of kin, you can claim them from the MOD medals office.

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PutTheKettleOff@reddit

The MOD guidance states:

'You should only wear official decorations, medals or emblems that you are entitled to and have been approved for acceptance and wear. Unofficial medals should not be worn with official orders, decorations and medals. If you are the next of kin of a deceased service person, it is common practice to wear your relative’s decorations and medals as a mark of remembrance. It is custom to wear medals on the right breast in civilian dress only, official approval is not required to wear relative’s medals. Current serving personnel should not wear relative’s medals or unofficial medals whilst wearing uniform.'

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mypostisbad@reddit

This is the correct advice.

People who have earned them wear them over the left breast. Relatives of a deceased veteran wear them on the right.

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pouchey2@reddit

MOD and British Legion guidance is that it's 100% okay.

They should be worn on the right breast and whist in civilian dress. The idea being that you're not trying to impersonate anything.

The only time it's not allowed is if you're a serving member and you're trying to wear a relatives medals.

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WhatYouLeaveBehind@reddit

The only time it's not allowed is if you're a serving member and you're trying to wear a relatives medals.

Note that only applies in uniform. Serving Personnel in civilian dress are allowed to wear them as detailed above.

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Smeeble09@reddit

If you're concerned and he's not longer alive, you could always take them on a small board with his photo on it.

Just a thought if you want to have them there but don't want to wear them.

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SchruteFarmsIntel@reddit

> Don't want to offend anyone

Who would you offend? Its a lovely thing to do

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Voodoopulse@reddit

Plenty of idiots in here saying it's not allowed

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Upstairs-Passenger28@reddit

Yes as a direct descendant

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Feeling_Anteater_142@reddit

Wear them on your right breast on civilian clothing only. If you are in uniform it's frowned upon.

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B00marangTrotter@reddit

Wear them proudly.

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ajtyler776@reddit

It’s very respectful of you to ask.

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ODFoxtrotOscar@reddit

It’s OK to wear those of close kin (on the right)

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BoopingBurrito@reddit

Don't wear them as medals, but if you want to rig up some sort of necklace to wear them round your neck or put them in a display box and carry it with you then thats absolutely fine.

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Baby8227@reddit

Like show and tell at school? Wear them as a necklace; that’s hilarious! OP has every right to wear them on the right as a mark of respect. Wear them as a necklace. I’m ended!!

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Holiday-Poet-406@reddit

Sure I just gave my GGrandads first World War medals back to dad who's on parade tomorrow, unfortunately I've got to be 45 miles from home at 10:30 so will be just having 2mins silence on my own.

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Xenozip3371Alpha@reddit

Maybe take them in a small display case.

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Baby8227@reddit

lol. Absolutely don’t do this. Wear them on the right with pride .

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dazedan_confused@reddit

I think it's fine on the right hand side

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Ashamed_North348@reddit

Absolutely!

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D4T45T0RM06@reddit

I would say no, as its not your own medals. However the opinion differs from person to person. Even thought the gesture is kind, those where earned from your fathers efforts not yours. I Know I am going to get flamed to hell for that opinion so if anyone wants a souvenir from hell, let me know!

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cgknight1@reddit

>However the opinion differs from person to person.

We do not need the opinions of random people - there is clear MOD guidance on this - wear on the right breast.

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D4T45T0RM06@reddit

Today I learned!

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DrWilliamCarter@reddit

yes but on the right

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CiderDrinker2@reddit

No, you cannot wear them. Medals are personal. You could carry them in a display box, but you cannot wear them.

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cgknight1@reddit

wrong:

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/medals-campaigns-descriptions-and-eligibility#wearing-of-medals

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Jesisawesome@reddit

Never mind what side to wear them on, what side was HE on?

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picnicspotlover@reddit

Yes you can as long as it’s the opposite side to show they are not your medals

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Annual_History_796@reddit

I’m no source of authority here but I don’t think you’re supposed to.

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Jezbod@reddit

You can, on the right hand side, I wear the ones I've earned on the left.

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WetDogDeodourant@reddit

You wear the medals of family your remembering on your right.

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PavlovaToes@reddit

My ex was massively into militaria and history regarding the wars. From my understanding, yes. It is completely fine for you to wear family medals, you should be proud of them! But you need to wear them on the opposite side (I think they wear them on the left side, so you should wear them on your right side)

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department_of_doom@reddit

Yes, but wear them on the right (rather than left) side.

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syphonuk@reddit

Mod says:

"If you are the next of kin of a deceased service person, it is common practice to wear your relative’s decorations and medals as a mark of remembrance. It is custom to wear medals on the right breast in civilian dress only, official approval is not required to wear relative’s medals."

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/medals-campaigns-descriptions-and-eligibility#wearing-of-medals

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