TheaterFire

Anon makes a friend at the gym

Posted by penitentsalad@reddit | greentext | View on Reddit | 301 comments

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301 Comments

SibrenTF@reddit

Anon escaped the death of his social life by a hair
View on Reddit #7235709

penitentsalad@reddit (OP)

Yeah thread was full of comments like "OP got to legally fuck a hot girl and acts like there's something wrong" my brother in christmas that could very easily have been a big problem
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SibrenTF@reddit

Just because big law says yes doesn't mean society still won't witch-hunt the shit out of you. I mean there's a bunch of states where having sex with your cousin is legal but people will still shame you like a degenerate for it (good)
View on Reddit #7236019

penitentsalad@reddit (OP)

Yeah even though it was technically legal a 25 year old having sex with a 16-17 year old is still creepy
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Single_Low1416@reddit

I mean, anon himself felt icky. So I think this is a good conclusion to his story because he seems to be a decent guy and doesn’t deserve his life falling apart because someone lied to him
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karlfranz205@reddit

Sadly lies like this sometimes cost people decades of their life when they don't deserve it.
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Traditional-Ad2409@reddit

As someone who regularly lied about my age as a teenager to older guys (never by a lot, it was mostly just saying I was 16 when I was really 14/15) I never really get why people act like there's only one side to it and the guy in question should have known or something or that no teenage girl can make decisions for themselves, it was mutual fun (I mean there were exceptions, but anyone I was lying about my age to was somebody I actively wanted to fuck and did, and didn't regret it later) I mean I do get why the laws are there and why they're as strict as they are, but at the same time I feel like there should be some grey area when somebody really was a willing party to the point that they're literally lying about their age to make it happen - like when you see an 18 year old end up on a sex offender list because their 16 year old girlfriend sent them a naked pic or something? That's absolutely something that should not happen, but it does and it's pretty shitty Idk what the solution would be but it's definitely not ruining some kids life
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MyNameIsQuason@reddit

In the state of NY there's a "Romeo and Juliet" exception to the age of consent (of 17), where if the older individual is less than 4 years older, it's legal despite the younger individual being below the age of consent. It's a good solution so that teenagers can date other teenagers and not worry about a number.
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ShazamPowers@reddit

Holy shit I just got downvoted to oblivion with this take in another subreddit a few days ago. People act like you magically instantly grow a consent trigger in your brain at 18 or whatever. Teenagers want to have sex, ignoring that some will actively seek it out, sometimes with older people is wild. It doesn’t make it legal or right, but it definitely happens.
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Traditional-Ad2409@reddit

Yeah i always find it interesting how wildly different different subs react to the same thing (or even the same sub depending on the day or time of day lol) I mean I guess there's something of a spectrum to it, like I'm sure there are teenagers out there that aren't capable of making decisions for themselves, but there definitely are plenty who are perfectly capable of thinking for themselves and exactly, it's not like there's just some magical switch that flips the second you turn 18 or something Really a teenager brain-wise is probably closer to an 18y/o than a 20-something would be to that same 18y/o since your frontal lobe still isn't fully developed at 18 As a teenage girl if I was dead set on fucking somebody, it was *going* to happen lol I was perfectly capable of using guys horniness against them even in a scenario when they were apprehensive about my age, and to pretend that that's not a thing that ever happens is at best a very sheltered point of view
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CentralAdmin@reddit

>As a teenage girl if I was dead set on fucking somebody, it was going to happen lol I was perfectly capable of using guys horniness against them even in a scenario when they were apprehensive about my age This feels like rape, but like in reverse.
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Jwkaoc@reddit

Nobody thinks you can suddenly magically consent when you turn 18. They think that happens when you turn 25 now.
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BatmanForce@reddit

Am I reading this correctly? You are saying having sex with older guys (also needs clarification how much older) when you're 14/15 is alright? I get that you imply you weren't r*ped and it was a persued goal, but I don't think this is ok?? You were literally a child, no matter what your country or state's laws are... Just seems wild
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2mg1ml@reddit

It's only wild cause our society says it is (which is fair enough, we are social creatures that need social norms to function and coalesce). If you were born and living in some Middle Eastern countries, you suddenly wouldn't think it's that wild because it's *their* norm. You feel me? Maybe it's a bad take, idk lol.
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BatmanForce@reddit

I mean yeah, but even in countries like Afghanistan where there's a thing known as "bacha-bozi" (literally "playboy" - when adult men molest young boys whenever horny), that is considered a norm for some, most tribes are disgusted by it and condemn such shit. I mean, this is like a universal idea - kids are off-limits. And when you're 14 you are nothing but a kid. So it would seem wild for anyone. Even Japan brought their age of consent up to 18 from 14 because... lol because they're fighting otakus or whatever? Idk why but it happened still
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2mg1ml@reddit

One thing I'd like to add is time periods also effect social norms, not just cultures. But I know that's a fallacy to refer to a different time period to appeal to a tradition, so yeah, in other words you're actually pretty much on point. I wonder what reasonings some libertarians use to argue lowering the age of consent. I may seem like I'm self reporting or something, but I really do try looking at the bigger picture when developing a position on certain topics, and not just go with what everyone else is saying, but topics like this one prove sometimes things are the way they are for good reason, unlike, for example, the war on drugs, which is imo without any good reasons. I didn't know about that Afghanistan thing tho, that's really fucked up. But again, my initial point was that is it really only fucked up because of the time and place I was born at? And now we've sort of come to the conclusion that no, it's not because of that, and it is truly fucked up in a universal sort of way. Dunno if this was even worth writing and posting, but fuck it I've come this far lmao.
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BatmanForce@reddit

Lmao it's like one of those great phylosophycal questions on what comes first - spirit or matter. You could think that people are the way they are because of the social rules and standards surrounding them and forming their identity, but at the same time those rules and standards derived from people themselves and their own way of thinking. Some of this must have come first. I mean, I think anyone in the entire world would agree that taking advantage of a newborn baby is fucking sick, right? That is the base, I don't think it's appreciated anywhere. But when does it become OK driving from that ground zero? That's where numbers change from point to point. Some cultures and peoples have different bars on the exact age depending on their history. I guess that's the simplest way you could answer it. But back to my original point, even if you (or both of us) are right, talking from my point of view as someone who grew up in Europe, I assume the lady in question was also born somewhere civilized. So that's why I think having sex at 14 is wrong. And for the most part it is. I hope I'm making sense lol
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2mg1ml@reddit

Nah, I get what you're saying completely. I appreciate the short discussion, ngl I think I learned a little something from it. Take care g
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BatmanForce@reddit

You too :)
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Traditional-Ad2409@reddit

Not necessarily, just that not every situation is the same and there's a grey area I'm talking maybe 4-5 years age difference Clearly things happened that made me have to grow up faster than is ideal, and in an ideal world that would never happen and children would stay children as long as they'd like, but in the real world that's not always the case and I think you can't automatically blame an 18 year old for hooking up with a 15 year old when that 15 year old lied about their age - not saying anything is *right*, just that it's not always simple or cut and dried
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BatmanForce@reddit

I like the last statement. It's good to have an open mind on some things. Can't argue with that. But there are limits. When I was 18/19 I made damn sure not to get close to anyone yonger because not only its punishable by law, but it also made me feel sick. My sister is 5 years younger, and when I remember her in her 14 yo - all I remember is a little innocent school girl. None of my friends my age would seriously consider hooking up with her classmates. Because I was fortunate enough to have friends without mental issues. I get that the grey area you are talking about is somewhat like a safe zone for 18yo dating a 16/17yo. But damn, 14-15 is too much. The teenager's body grows really fast, and the biological difference between 14 and 16 is too significant. And btw teenagers lying about their age to get slammed is the best thing to do if you want to see someone behind bars.
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hamburgerofwar@reddit

You were taken advantage of while thinking you were clever
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Traditional-Ad2409@reddit

Idk, I would say *nobody* was really taken advantage of, nor was anyone being clever lol Just mutual horniness and two people getting exactly what they wanted out of it
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hamburgerofwar@reddit

If you think adult men fucking kids isn’t taking advantage you are mentally ill
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Traditional-Ad2409@reddit

I wouldn't consider myself a kid at that age honestly, everything I did I did knowingly - not to mention most of these *adult men* were more immature than I was (I'm not talking 30-something year old dudes, most of these guys were between 18 and 22) I think there's some grey area here where it's not quite so cut and dried, not sure how that equals mental illness (I mean I *do* have a couple diagnoses, but I'm not sure why that invalidates my lived experience or opinion on the matter - if you're operating under the assumption that these guys were taking advantage of me when I was the one initiating shit then I'm not sure how by that logic I wasn't also taking advantage of them)
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the_turn@reddit

Out of curiosity, how old are you now? I work with teenagers, and they all _think_ they are incredibly mature and sophisticated but they actually have no fucking clue at all. In my experience, people don’t realise how immature teenagers are because they remember their feeling of maturity but not the reality. I think you might feel differently about a 22 year old having sex with a 15 year old by the time you are 30. Yes, you might have been “consenting”, but that’s what exploitation means: taking advantage of someone who does not have the same capacity to make informed choices that you should have. You might not have known any better, but those guys should have.
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Traditional-Ad2409@reddit

34 now Tbh I was probably more mature as a teenager in some ways than I am now, definitely not in certain aspects but by 16 I was working full time paying all my rent and bills and getting my shit together (also thank fuck I made the proper decision in giving my kid up in an open adoption which to this day was the hardest thing I've ever done, but at 18 now he's awesome as shit and has everything I ever wanted for him but knew I couldn't give him myself) I also would 100% agree with you, there is most definitely only a small gap before things get gross as shit, none of the people in question here were even 7 years older than me (probably the biggest age gap of any of them was my kids dad, who was 21 when I was 15 - he was [and *is*] immature as shit, and he did think I was 16 right up until I actually turned 16 - he's also probably the only one I might take back given some magical undo button, although for specific reasons not for hooking up in general) I just think there's a small grey area, variable from person to person, where it's not so simple - like my initial example, an 18 year old ending up on a sex offender list because their 16y/o gf sent them an unsolicited naked pic? That shouldn't happen. A 16 year old telling a 20 year old they're 18 in order to hook up? In that scenario there should be some room for that 20 year old not to end up on a sex offender list. Is there an easy way to safely accomplish that? No, not really.
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MrEuphonium@reddit

Any allowance of that kind of behavior leads to a gamification of the system, people exploiting those allowances for their ill gains
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CoffeeWorldly9915@reddit

You mean like teenagers using it as a tool for revenge/extortion?
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Skyhawk6600@reddit

If anyone is to blame, it's that bitch because she said she was a college student.
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GarageFlower97@reddit

Legal or not, fucking a 16-17 year old at 25 is well creepy. Obvs he was lied to but the shame is a normal response to finding that out.
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penitentsalad@reddit (OP)

That's.... what I said
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GarageFlower97@reddit

Yeah I was agreeing with you
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penitentsalad@reddit (OP)

Oh sorry, cheers for the support
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FastenedCarrot@reddit

I live in a country where the legal age of consent is 16 so I thought he was worried about pregnancy at first.
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fuckDuckLacksLuck@reddit

I would still be disgusted by myself tbh but she literally asked for it + didn't happen
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69FuckThePolice69@reddit

SO you are saying..fake but not gay?
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Key-Ruin-2929@reddit

It’s still gay
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69FuckThePolice69@reddit

Ah yes I forgot, hetero sex is gay as hell
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masaxo00@reddit

It's gay because feline aids
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SHPLUMBO@reddit

Well when it’s fake, yeah
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maicii@reddit

O mean if you didn't know and she lied about it there's not much you can do.
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TickleMeWeenis@reddit

That was worth it just for the cat aids
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FriendlyAntonio@reddit

Imagine reading this out of context 🤣
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Awolflion@reddit

Hey, feline AIDS is the number one killer of domestic cats. And for the uninitiated: https://youtu.be/TfE93xON8jk
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Victor-Baxter@reddit

it's no joke, my last cat got feline aids, and hanged itself out of shame.
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light_flowers@reddit

I just laughed so fucking hard
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cdigioia@reddit

FIV (Feline Immunodeficiency Virus) is a real thing.
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SadMcNomuscle@reddit

I'm more worried about FEV (Feline Evolutionary Virus) tbh
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messy_eater@reddit

Weird, I was actually looking at one of my cats tonight thinking “What if Wolfie morphed into a giant angry god?” But my boy loves me so I wasn’t even worried about my own safety. I was mostly disturbed by the guilt I’d feel being his friend while he destroys everyone and everything (except my gf, his Mom). I actually pictured him keeping us in total luxurious comfort, bringing us high end cars and other stuff after he kills some rich guy. We’d probably move into his house too. All Wolfie would ask for in return is that we continue giving out those sweet scritches and butt bongos.
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2mg1ml@reddit

I love this. My cat would be a very loving god, but cause great devastation with his headbutts of -love- doom.
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messy_eater@reddit

Yeah that’s probably true for Wolfie as well. He’s pretty sweet haha. He does go into chaos mode sometimes, but it’s not an angry or violent thing except when he’s attacking his sister Daisy unprovoked. There would be a lot of damage but it would probably be incidental to him getting the mega zoomies.
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masterxc@reddit

If you or loved one start saying things like "uwu" unironically, ask your doctor.
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ZUCKERINCINERATOR@reddit

not even cat, FELINE
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Freaglii@reddit

Tbf, the cat equivalent to HIV is FIV or "Feline Immunodeficiency Virus".
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BirdhouseInYourSoil@reddit

American Psycho but every “I have to return some video tapes” is “My cat has aids”
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bottle_brush@reddit

"where are you going?" "I just *LEAVING"* "but where?!" \*leans in\* "my cat has aids, I need to check him for sickness"
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blackrabbitkun@reddit

Dude i thought the same shit.
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Alive_Ice7937@reddit

And "Amerifats"
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_TLDR_Swinton@reddit

Feline fine.
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Efficient_Ad7441@reddit

Holy fuck my sides
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GeeNah-of-the-Cs@reddit

This story is crap. First he tries to sell the story in “a county where 18 year olds can drink”. The at the end, she is “legal age in that state “.
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BannedOnTwitter@reddit

https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/what-countries-have-states
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GeeNah-of-the-Cs@reddit

Nicely informative
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penitentsalad@reddit (OP)

So sick of this comment there are like a dozen countries that use states with variable laws. There is a world outside of america
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PhunkOperator@reddit

Where did this take place, though?
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PhunkOperator@reddit

I fail to see the problem. Apparently legal drinking age is decided on a federal level while age of consent is set by each state individually?
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GeeNah-of-the-Cs@reddit

okay so maybe i missed something but what country is this supposed to be in?
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PhunkOperator@reddit

It doesn't say, but my guess would be Australia.
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legomanholdingbagel@reddit

genuinely stfu oml
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MaryPaku@reddit

This comment is so ignorant omg
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Cobalt9896@reddit

Anon has a better moral compass than most people here, also cat aids.
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Kardinale@reddit

Doing the math, she was most likely 16 when they met. Anon better avoid her and pray
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baldo_viola@reddit

Its legal
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DarkScorpion48@reddit

He says he is not American but mentions state-based age of consent laws? Whut? Which other country does this?
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Riftus@reddit

Americans when other countries have states
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DarkScorpion48@reddit

Wtf? It’s not about having states, it’s about having age of consent laws that differ per state. I live in fucking Europe where such laws are on a national level
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Suzume_Chikahisa@reddit

State can also mean country. It's an unusual use in English but not impossible.
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DarkGreenEspeon@reddit

To be fair, I literally don't know any other country that has states except Germany (they have like 5 IIRC).
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PhunkOperator@reddit

> they have like 5 IIRC They have 16. Fun fact: the most populous state, North Rhine-Westphalia, would rank 5th if it was a US state.
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whydoyouevenreadthis@reddit

It has 16. Google "Federalism", click on the Wikipedia article and boom the first image is a map with federal and unitary states represented in different colors.
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neldela_manson@reddit

Germany has 16 states. Many democratic countries are federal republics, meaning the power is often divided between the federal government and all the states that make up the country, just like in the US. Austria for example has 9 states and just as in Germany each oft those states has its own constitution and can make laws for itself.
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Riftus@reddit

Both of our neighbors do, to start. I believe theyre called provinces or sm else in Canada
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Nundulan@reddit

Ok it's not a state if it's called a province tho, he would've said province
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StarSpliter@reddit

Yeah most countries use something different like province, prefecture, parish, district, territory, etc. However: Australia, Austria, Brazil, Germany, India, Malasia, México, Micronesia, Myanmar, NZ, Nigeria, Palau, and South Sudan have/use states.
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BadgerBadgerCat@reddit

New Zealand doesn't have states. It has provinces, but unlike Canada they're purely geographic; they don't have a government or anything. The country has a national government and various city/regional councils, but no states.
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Nundulan@reddit

Wow that's more than I thought
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Joxelo@reddit

Australia has 6 states and 2 territories
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Squawnk@reddit

Australia has states
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leglesslegolegolas@reddit

Mexico does, it is officially referred to as United Mexican States. I don't know if the states have different AoC laws tho
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Nasapigs@reddit

> Mexican > laws I'm sorry this is going over my heead, can you explain this to me?
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bannedforflaming@reddit

Are you implying other countries don't have age of consent?
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DarkScorpion48@reddit

Everyone understood my post but you
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PhunkOperator@reddit

What's there to understand, exactly? Was it meant to be a bad joke?
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DarkScorpion48@reddit

I’m honestly asking which country outside the US has age of consent laws that differs per state. Almost every country has them on a national level. It’s seems muricans can’t understand that concept as the downvotes came the moment you all came online
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PhunkOperator@reddit

I'm not a Murican, and it would seem that Australia is one such case.
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hipster3000@reddit

None. Anon got lost in his weird creative writing and forgot to make sure the details add up
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horseysauceNketchup@reddit

Bro are you fuckjng retarded? Germany- mexico-australia-brazil come to the mind right away
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legomanholdingbagel@reddit

actual fucking zombie
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Rosuvastatine@reddit

Why is this upvoted ?
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ShootyGeneralB@reddit

How fucking stupid are you?
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Rudirotiert1510@reddit

Are you retarded?
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Barry63BristolPub@reddit

Australia. That's the detail
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Jacob199651@reddit

After a tiny bit of research, Australia, probably. They have both states and territories, have 18 as the drinking age, have different ages of consent between states, and have a nationwide Romeo and Juliet law.
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amish_mechanic@reddit

Yeah when he said she lied about being in "uni" I guessed either UK or Aussie, but I don't think UK uses "states". You're probably right.
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twmStauM@reddit

uk has counties but all the laws are the same
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Peterd1900@reddit

The UK has 3 seperate legal systems one each for England and Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland. The laws are not the same across the whole of the UK NNNN
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twmStauM@reddit

true, I meant england, not the UK, edited
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DarkScorpion48@reddit

That must be it. You deserve an award
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whydoyouevenreadthis@reddit

Are you joking?
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beruon@reddit

Canada maybe? Idk I'm eurofag
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leglesslegolegolas@reddit

eurofag doesn't know Germany has states?
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beruon@reddit

Another possible guess, but in germany you can drink (soft) alcohol at 16
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Zoso-Phoenix@reddit

Germans have alcohol in place of blood
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hipster3000@reddit

Canada doesn't have states.
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beruon@reddit

My bad then, but dont they have big regions? Do they call them differently?
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FailingChemist@reddit

Provinces is what they call their "states"
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beruon@reddit

Ah thank you!
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happyunicorn666@reddit

Maybe he uses state as in country.
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THESUACED@reddit

Probably a lot.
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theepobster@reddit

Who the fuck writes cutie pie like that
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AchGoOnYaWill@reddit

Have you been living under a rock?
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theepobster@reddit

My bad, Ig I don’t know the 4chin lore But fr tho, bro wrote 3.14 for pie. qt is pretty common but I’ve never seen qt 3.14
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Kirito619@reddit

Claims he is not in america "She was of legal age in my state" I don't think there are other countries that have states with different age of consent. Gtfo with your larping
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legomanholdingbagel@reddit

just because you dont think there are others, doesnt mean there arent. there are loads of countries with states. for example, australia and germany. a quick google search of 'federalism' wouldve saved you from looking like an ignorant twat
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Kirito619@reddit

I don't think not knowing something makes you ignorant or a twat. The reason i said "i don't think" is because i didn't know but i also didn't care enough to look it up. It's an invitation for someone to correct me. You know some people are capable of learning and don't mind being corrected. Not everyone dies on stupid hills or insult people when correcting them.
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PhunkOperator@reddit

> It's an invitation for someone to correct me. "Gtfo with your larping" Yeah, no, it's not an invitation, you're just an ignorant c\*nt.
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Kirito619@reddit

bro look at the subreddit you are on before making ignorant comments, that kind of shit is normal here
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legomanholdingbagel@reddit

now that is not something id expect to hear from someone with kirito as their user. apologies mate, have a goodun
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Kirito619@reddit

I made this as a teen when kirito was my username for most stuff cuz it sound good. It's just reddit
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twmStauM@reddit

aus
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SlavicMaster07@reddit

That kinda shit is why I don't have sex
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Prestigious_Slice709@reddit

Go for MILFs. No risk for you there if you‘re as bad at guessing ages as anon is
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SlavicMaster07@reddit

Damn you're playing chess while I'm playing checkers
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Prestigious_Slice709@reddit

I actually don‘t, I play checkers well but I‘m aware of the rules of chess.
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yendoyeet@reddit

anon is a shockingly decent human being
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GeeNah-of-the-Cs@reddit

like who?
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ApolloThecode@reddit

The read like a fucking adventure film wtf
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ChopinCJ@reddit

I thought this meant she was pregnant until reading these comments, now I'm confused about where he fucked up. Someone who's nearly 21 and a 25 year old is kind of weird, but not absolutely unfathomable.
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UselessAndUnused@reddit

When you're so American that you find it physically impossible to read when someone mentions that they are not American.
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ChopinCJ@reddit

Fr bro I just woke up and reread this I'm dumb as fuck
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Chickennoodlesleuth@reddit

Did you just skip over reading "the drinking age is 18"
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ChopinCJ@reddit

Yeah mb I'm retarded/american
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Freaglii@reddit

It mentions she's not even 18
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ChopinCJ@reddit

Oh my bad I'm a dumb fucking idiot he literally says he's in a country where drinking age is 18
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fast_t0aster@reddit

Hate to be "that guy" but I'm gonna need a source for that first image
View on Reddit #7238657

whydoyouevenreadthis@reddit

Not really a 'source' but this is the largest version of this exact image I could find: https://image.dnevnik.hr/media/images/1536xX/May2019/61695621.jpg (1536x1889)
View on Reddit #7285943

dinriss@reddit

lmfaooooo my country’s news portal
View on Reddit #7299779

Boat_Worker@reddit

Bosnia?
View on Reddit #7303403

whydoyouevenreadthis@reddit

.hr is a Croatian top-level domain.
View on Reddit #7308144

fast_t0aster@reddit

chad
View on Reddit #7286019

Struggler2378@reddit

Destiny Stephens or Destiny Elizabeth Stephens, unfortunately she seems to have disappeared from the web. She had an Instagram and an OnlyFans but both are gone. You can find some of her stuff on Erome though.
View on Reddit #7299117

Struggler2378@reddit

I found some of her social media with the name Destiny Daniels or DestinyDtv, but those seem to be inactive as well.
View on Reddit #7299831

Dollar23@reddit

luckily for you, i had it saved https://imgur.com/kfrieoU
View on Reddit #7287675

Parody5Gaming@reddit

Just look up yoga pants ass retard. It's simple
View on Reddit #7240820

WrittenEuphoria@reddit

> yoga pants ass retard. Somehow this still produces the desired result. Google is something else.
View on Reddit #7244572

imhere2downvote@reddit

mfw google is just as horny as people searching for ass retard
View on Reddit #7284830

mpbeasto123@reddit

Link? Coz this pic in particular doesnt come up
View on Reddit #7254530

PC-LAD@reddit

Not autist enough, brows sub for a further 6 months
View on Reddit #7261020

Kreiger81@reddit

4chan's /fit/ board is full of images exactly like that.
View on Reddit #7263923

soiboi64@reddit

Unfathomably true and not gay. That was a read i don't regret
View on Reddit #7236631

lickedurine@reddit

Seconded. A reprieve from the one who fucked his cousin and the anal fisting puke incest shit fantasy
View on Reddit #7281505

icaro_93@reddit

link now
View on Reddit #7303416

lickedurine@reddit

Just look through the “hot” tab on this subreddit
View on Reddit #7307715

Kalushar@reddit

My cat actually did have aids. It’s more s common than you’d think.
View on Reddit #7305239

_gimgam_@reddit

i knew it the moment she said "can we not talk about school rn"
View on Reddit #7239766

Shacuras@reddit

I don't wanna talk about uni and I'm actually a student
View on Reddit #7301305

Corvus_5@reddit

this guy has EXPERIENCE seducing minors
View on Reddit #7252103

_gimgam_@reddit

lmao
View on Reddit #7252123

xSarcasticBritx@reddit

Didn't deny it tho 💀
View on Reddit #7263892

myfatmonkey@reddit

confirmed
View on Reddit #7275312

pyro3_@reddit

wtf she is under 18 but in uni what country is this
View on Reddit #7261413

legomanholdingbagel@reddit

she lied😱😱😱😱😱
View on Reddit #7290070

pyro3_@reddit

yeah i guess the dude really didn't talk to her about uni after that first time hahah
View on Reddit #7292596

Chickennoodlesleuth@reddit

She probably lied
View on Reddit #7287323

Neither-Phone-7264@reddit

i’m gonna start uni as a 17 year old so it ain’t too strange
View on Reddit #7270631

invisableee@reddit

Went from she goes to uni to her being a high schooler? FAKE AND GAY
View on Reddit #7240512

legomanholdingbagel@reddit

she lied about her age 😱😱😱😱😱
View on Reddit #7289803

tstrzyz@reddit

\^
View on Reddit #7258675

nosnek199@reddit

CCP programs.
View on Reddit #7242540

Brawl501@reddit

Cat pool's closed
View on Reddit #7289580

twindracos@reddit

Qt 3.14 ☠️☠️☠️☠️
View on Reddit #7237393

bigchun69@reddit

Different form of brain rot sorry
View on Reddit #7288610

profoundprofundity@reddit

that's just how the hacker known as 4chan speaks
View on Reddit #7240723

TroncoBoy@reddit

Qt π
View on Reddit #7238853

Timestatic@reddit

Oh Jesus Christ, you uncover her lie and recognize she's younger than 18 and first thing you do is tell her parents you've been fucking her daughter instead of just overplaying it. I mean he got away pretty well even despite what he said.
View on Reddit #7252025

Chickennoodlesleuth@reddit

They didn't say that though, it was a thought
View on Reddit #7287181

hamburgerofwar@reddit

The reveal hit like a truck
View on Reddit #7239277

GillysDaddy@reddit

... a dumptruck!
View on Reddit #7285957

LightningBolt357@reddit

This just made my day.
View on Reddit #7285257

pappapirate@reddit

I thought "it's a few months before she can drink" meant she was pregnant tbh.
View on Reddit #7241291

reincharnation@reddit

so i wasn't the only one
View on Reddit #7281889

buttsniffbadger@reddit

I thought that until I read this comment lmao
View on Reddit #7258158

Emperorerror@reddit

Same lol
View on Reddit #7273193

Western_Newspaper_12@reddit

It just means they're not in the US lol
View on Reddit #7253504

SleepingDragons57@reddit

Oh yeah I thought that was the whole point lol
View on Reddit #7249172

Quasimodo_theProphet@reddit

Anon will be paying child support to help buy her high school textbooks
View on Reddit #7246185

Sadelf9@reddit

"Mild autist" then immediately spells qt pie as qt3.14
View on Reddit #7281663

Church829@reddit

All time post right here
View on Reddit #7281054

boomeradf@reddit

FIV is no laughing matter….then again neither is plowing a teenager.
View on Reddit #7279395

deleteduser2006@reddit

feline AIDS
View on Reddit #7279146

dragoslayer1327@reddit

When I first read "a few more months before she can drink," I wasn't thinking of age. Didn't even cross my mind. I thought the mf knocked her up ngl
View on Reddit #7278517

BitrateBraap@reddit

She was above the age limit for concent, correct. In that case, I'll give anon here a; Nice out of 10.
View on Reddit #7276270

__TRICEPCURLS@reddit

> Before my amerifat readers have their second heart attack I am in a country where drinking age is 18 lost
View on Reddit #7275545

Mighgy@reddit

Unbeatable story telling
View on Reddit #7275476

Parking-Nectarine760@reddit

Fake as shit, who the fuck moves in with their gf after only 6 months
View on Reddit #7273563

SllortEvac@reddit

25 years old and complains about zoomers
View on Reddit #7238730

NARUT000@reddit

turns out zoomers were complaining about zoomers
View on Reddit #7248874

Prestigious_Slice709@reddit

That‘d be born 1998 which is right where millennials and zoomers meet iirc. But yeah I often see fellow zoomers complain about „pur own“ generation because they don‘t know where they start and end. And saying „zoomers“ sounds better than „these gah damn rascals!!“
View on Reddit #7265056

PM_MEOttoVonBismarck@reddit

I'm an older zoomer and I feel a difference between the culture and experience of zoomers in my age range to the ones who are still in high school.
View on Reddit #7268101

Prestigious_Slice709@reddit

Well like… obviously there‘s a cultural difference. You‘re older. You and I we‘re both old people. Being addicted to instagram, reddit, youtube, all of it more and more a thing of the past. Seriously now though, there‘s literally so many cultural differences and age is one of the biggest, especially at a young age. For example, the age you were at during the covid pandemic will have enormous impacts on your perspective. Quite a few people that I know were severely psychologically impacted by the isolation. Others like me could have a breather and enjoy remote education while others did remote work, or commuted in empty trains…
View on Reddit #7272823

T1B2V3@reddit

>I feel a difference between the culture and experience of zoomers in my age range to the ones who are still in high school. the difference is mainly brain damage from Instagram vs brain damage from TikTok
View on Reddit #7270101

PM_MEOttoVonBismarck@reddit

Tik tok was around when I was in high school, but it was still gaining traction. Seeing how my younger brother and his friends behave makes me so glad I'm not in High school now. Their life literally revolves around tik tok.
View on Reddit #7270195

T1B2V3@reddit

I'm a relatively old zoomer and back when I was in high school people were still frying their brains with Instagram and Snapchat while TikTok was still insignificant
View on Reddit #7270317

PM_MEOttoVonBismarck@reddit

Man this is what being old must feel like! "Back in my day". Even culture wise. I grew up watching pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Ed Edd n Eddy, playing Crash Bandicoot on my brand new PS2 on one of those old box tvs, playing my DS, collecting pokemon cards, playing in the woods. My brother was brought up on youtube watching shit like JackSepticeye and others I can't be bothered remembering. It's like his entire life is mimicking celebrities he saw on youtube and tik tok.
View on Reddit #7270529

xadrielax@reddit

Alas it has been pushed back to 1996
View on Reddit #7271854

Prestigious_Slice709@reddit

Fr? I know people which would be very displeased to hear a commonly accepted redrawing of the boundaries
View on Reddit #7272646

taqg9@reddit

Jesus saves
View on Reddit #7271805

IAmASimulation@reddit

It’s so annoying when 25 year olds talk about how old they are.
View on Reddit #7243580

Neither-Phone-7264@reddit

yeah, like you’re not fucking 56, go touch some grass
View on Reddit #7270667

Axtratu@reddit

Who tf is reading all that shit
View on Reddit #7245476

no0bmaster-669@reddit

It's worth the read tbh
View on Reddit #7246040

Neither-Phone-7264@reddit

it has kitten aids
View on Reddit #7270648

ChadWolf98@reddit

lust provoking image irrelevantly long time wasting post
View on Reddit #7240170

Neither-Phone-7264@reddit

haha you can’t read a few paragraphs
View on Reddit #7270610

splifflord_quazimoto@reddit

Killbillsirens.panic
View on Reddit #7239903

CoffeeWorldly9915@reddit

I heard 'em.
View on Reddit #7270406

Constant_Quit_3892@reddit

This is why I love greentexts. They’re the only place I can read about levels of autism and awkwardness surpassing my own.
View on Reddit #7239100

turkeyphoenix@reddit

We're all going to make it, as evidenced by said greentexts.
View on Reddit #7255944

howtodieyoung@reddit

Greentexts are truly inspirational
View on Reddit #7270203

LoneBot575@reddit

God thank's OP for a great laugh.
View on Reddit #7268332

Brmemesrule@reddit

This reads like a damn sitcom, and one of the good ones.
View on Reddit #7266672

playerhateroftheyeer@reddit

I’ll give anon the benefit of the doubt… 25% chance he’s telling the truth about not being a kiddy diddler
View on Reddit #7265716

Prestigious_Slice709@reddit

Absolutely love that horrific admission to the parents. If anything on 4chan were real at all, I think I would‘ve liked to see this specific moment in person.
View on Reddit #7265639

Uniq_Eros@reddit

I figured it out on page 3 line 2 anybody else?
View on Reddit #7240005

Prestigious_Slice709@reddit

I met a 16 year old at an easter camp that I started talking to because of her Red Dead Redemption 2 sticker on her phone. There are minors that play games recommended for adults. I assumed the she was around 18 because the age wasn‘t too obvious, her game taste was good, average age was over 18 etc. Game preference alone doesn‘t cut it for determining age.
View on Reddit #7265538

diddlydiddlydiddly1@reddit

This is hilarious
View on Reddit #7265089

Bonifaz3@reddit

Ngl was a long ass story but the cat aids was worth it
View on Reddit #7264391

Delicious_Stable9092@reddit

bet that instead of grabbing coffes regularly he said something catastrophic
View on Reddit #7264226

DunamisDee@reddit

That's why you gotta take chicks somewhere they need to get ID checked before you do the sex
View on Reddit #7248419

bannedforflaming@reddit

Make sure you get it signed and notarized
View on Reddit #7262949

S4l47@reddit

Is feline AIDS worse or better than the good old human AIDS?
View on Reddit #7237718

GoJackWhoresMan@reddit

Its 9 times as deadly
View on Reddit #7241243

Harry_Fraud@reddit

>new from GILEAD: feline retrovirals >$50k/mo
View on Reddit #7247316

bannedforflaming@reddit

Pfizer makes it - it's just repurposed covid vaccine.
View on Reddit #7262751

ExuDeku@reddit

Thats 4chan, someone must've fucked a cat
View on Reddit #7241207

bannedforflaming@reddit

Feline AIDS
View on Reddit #7262606

Divine_Gopher@reddit

It should've been obvious when she wouldn't talk about uni
View on Reddit #7262560

blanco408@reddit

This is golden age level greentext right here. Very rare 👏
View on Reddit #7261829

OneWorldly6661@reddit

Anon gets his hair shaved by a nuclear bomb
View on Reddit #7261821

madsoro@reddit

Everyone knows 99% of sweet asses belong to teens. It’s the forbidden apple. Don’t take chances
View on Reddit #7261398

Delicious-Sir-3841@reddit

annon never mentions how big her penis was. I assume large and ethnic.
View on Reddit #7242649

BlackMoonMaster@reddit

"large and ethnic" is a new one
View on Reddit #7261215

_TLDR_Swinton@reddit

I just burst out laughing on the bus
View on Reddit #7250015

chronament@reddit

maybe she isn't a high schooler and is just pregnant
View on Reddit #7260287

lue12350@reddit

Fake + gay
View on Reddit #7260118

lutteni@reddit

And here I thought green text was only for the most batshit insane stories that are obviously fake
View on Reddit #7259354

Randomuser3950@reddit

Honestly I'm just glad he knew that it was wrong
View on Reddit #7258116

BigMorningWud@reddit

Not reading all of that. Probably gay
View on Reddit #7258018

MagicQuest3@reddit

What a TWIST
View on Reddit #7257613

Dc_Spk@reddit

I thought she was pregnant, and that's why she couldn't drink.
View on Reddit #7256352

cryingbabygaming@reddit

1/4 😂 fuck no
View on Reddit #7255063

KPilkie01@reddit

Feline aids ffs
View on Reddit #7254982

Traditional_State616@reddit

“Before my Amerifat readers have their second heart attack” Jesus that hit hard lol
View on Reddit #7254419

Psychological-Bee702@reddit

Dostoevsky thinks this post is too long.
View on Reddit #7239396

sloodly_chicken@reddit

Damn, a couple of paragraphs outlasts your attention span? Crazy
View on Reddit #7254393

Gamblersluck954@reddit

The full on tism line about feline aids fucking got me.
View on Reddit #7253740

Optimal_Guest4841@reddit

Funniest greentext I've read in a while
View on Reddit #7253537

Thuran1@reddit

Now this was a roller coaster
View on Reddit #7252053

SpamMeHarderDaddy@reddit

Feline aids is nothing to sneeze at, my good lads
View on Reddit #7251691

modsarealwaysbad@reddit

Good read.
View on Reddit #7250476

_TLDR_Swinton@reddit

TLDR: Anon picks up 3,000 year old sorceress at the gym
View on Reddit #7250050

ares5404@reddit

"She kisses like an angry vacuum" im rollong rn
View on Reddit #7249358

SleepingDragons57@reddit

How did it go from a girl who “feels old in her uni classes” to teenager, to high schooler, then barely above the age of consent to make it legal. What the fuck is happening
View on Reddit #7249110

BLTWithBalsamic@reddit

Fake: Anon has *TWO* girlfriends Gay: Anon has a cat
View on Reddit #7233977

TendieBot2000@reddit

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon has *TWO* girlfriends > Gay: Anon has a cat > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
View on Reddit #7233999

KingBeanIV@reddit

First time in history that people sided with the bot
View on Reddit #7248663

Zestyclose_Zone_9253@reddit

Return of the king
View on Reddit #7238608

One_Opportunity9153@reddit

11/10 dumper. Take my upvote for that alone!!!
View on Reddit #7248252

Lurkay1@reddit

She was 17 years and 364 days and 59 seconds old you sick fuck!!
View on Reddit #7247692

Im_Indian_American@reddit

Blessed be thy art our Brother Anon. May he be blessed with song and joy and forgiveness lie in his heart.
View on Reddit #7247664

Sir_Squish@reddit

Finally, a decently entertaing long-form greentext, and it wasn't at least contextually, gay.
View on Reddit #7244823

Quasimodo_theProphet@reddit

It'll be gay once Anon is getting topped in prison for statutory
View on Reddit #7246491

Scavwithaslick@reddit

Thats a good one
View on Reddit #7233734

Ok_Digger@reddit

I cant involve topping or tyrone in this one. So real and straight
View on Reddit #7238389

kruchyg@reddit

Anon studies ancient Greeks being topped by ancient greeks
View on Reddit #7245914

HotBear39@reddit

I can, Anon then proceeded go get TOPPED by her father
View on Reddit #7242545

NotSuluX@reddit

Instant classic
View on Reddit #7245326

Conscious-Log-1229@reddit

(1/4)?
View on Reddit #7244512

Monksauce@reddit

One of the few times I actually feel kinda bad for anon.
View on Reddit #7244378

CorbinNZ@reddit

I heard the Kill Bill sirens.
View on Reddit #7243988

badstone69@reddit

. 👈 Leave my dot here in case someone know who that ass belong to
View on Reddit #7242982

TheDarkElCamino@reddit

“I would fuck a nest of bullet ants to get even a glimpse at that 11/10 dumper” my sides
View on Reddit #7242791

SalmonSwiper@reddit

Funny story, my cat actually does have feline AIDS (FIV)
View on Reddit #7240912

Conscious_Lettuce611@reddit

One of the best I have read in a while, keep up the good work Annon
View on Reddit #7240341

Cloakbot@reddit

Ok so we normally would assume it’s fake but the autistic stammering is spot on so I’m gonna assume both were obese and awkward in life 😭
View on Reddit #7239376

Dundertrumpen@reddit

I see this as an absolute win.
View on Reddit #7238951

Rough-Introduction68@reddit

this is real this reads too specifically
View on Reddit #7238059

Realities_Cold_Light@reddit

Finally, real and straight
View on Reddit #7237734

wormdaddy420@reddit

This just made my day
View on Reddit #7237179

Tubahummel28675@reddit

Wait till he finds out about bovine aids
View on Reddit #7236973