Forest Porn
Posted by SpinelessAmoeby@reddit | Xennials | View on Reddit | 206 comments
I know many have discussed finding the infamous forest porn, but why did it exist?These were actual magazines left out in the woods. Who left it there and why? If they could buy porn (18+) why didn’t they have somewhere to hide a couple magazines?
I remember my 1st forest porn encounter. It was the early 90s and I was at my friend’s house. We were fresh back from the mall where we had scored some pins for our SWEET black jean jackets. I think they were Poison and Skid Row.
We left his house to try some cigarettes he had just “found” and went down this trail into the woods at the end of his house. At the end of the trail was a small burned out fire, a bunch of empty bottles and a small pile of porn. We perused of course, but didn’t take anything, that would be admitting. When I went back alone the next day they were gone, I assume my friend got ‘em.
Had someone partied back there and brought porn? I went to a bunch of parties as I got older and nobody ever brought porn…was I at the wrong parties?!
kcus_sddom_tidder@reddit
I think this was a pedo tactic or a weird CUA thing for how wide spread it was.
No_School765@reddit
My dad took a friend and I to a forest preserve when we were 8. On the way back to the vehicle we were off the trail a little and found a “SheMales: Chicks with Dicks!” Magazine. We paged through it quickly and my dad saw us toss it as he approached. He saw it, picked it up and threw it in the trash. The next day our respective parents gave us “the talk” with a thorough explanation of how chicks aren’t north with dicks…
its_raining_scotch@reddit
Damn, your first intro to porn was chicks with dicks?
No_School765@reddit
No, Penthouse at my neighbors. Forest porn was though.
Neat-Gift-3624@reddit
I think the last porn mag I bought would’ve been in 2000. I never found any left out, but I did host an impromptu watch party for Girls Gone Wild in my dorm when people found out I ordered the tapes!
SpinelessAmoeby@reddit (OP)
I think you’re the first admitted porn party provider!
SadAcanthocephala521@reddit
They probably weren't buying it, they were probably stealing it and knew better than to bring it home. Not that I did that :)
TheSamsonFitzgerald@reddit
Sometime around 98 I found three Penthouse magazines next to a stop sign on a gravel road while riding my bike. I was like 14 and not ready at all for that level of porn. And I was worried my parents would find them so I ended up putting them back after a few days.
zzz242zzz@reddit
In maybe the 6th grade a friend “found” a Penthouse vhs tape in his neighbors mailbox. He, another friend, and I would take turns keeping it for a week or two and then it would trade hands. We all liked horror movies and our parents didn’t so it ended up in a Misery cover and evaded detection that way. I had a vcr and tv in my room at that point.
its_raining_scotch@reddit
We had a copy of Ginger on the Rocks that one of us stole from the local video store. It was the first porno we ever saw and like 5 of us got together to watch it at a buddy’s house who had a secluded den room. His mom thought we were watching robocop and we’d have to quickly change tapes when we heard her coming.
The tape changed hands a few times between us until my buddy’s mom found it and broke it with a hammer :( That was such a brutal day when he came to school and told us.
zzz242zzz@reddit
Noooooooo!!!! 🔨🔨🔨
EyesSlammedShut@reddit
I found a giant box of moldy magazines under a bridge when I was in 8th grade. Man I rode my bike to that damn bridge like 3 times per week. Good (gross) times…
SpinelessAmoeby@reddit (OP)
How many other kids were visiting that same stash!
EyesSlammedShut@reddit
As far as I could tell, it remained untouched until I got dial up internet the next year.
thejunkmanadv@reddit
So the page load time was slightly faster than the bike ride...
ThumpinGlassDrops@reddit
I think kids would shoplift them, then stash them there because if they brought em home their parents might find em.
Just a hunch, of course..
RareStable0@reddit
A lot of grown men would buy nudie mags but then toss them out because their wives would get mad if they brought them home as well.
altiuscitiusfortius@reddit
Or their wives found a stash and threw them out.
A female friends parents were getting divorced and her mom kicked out her dad and was throwing out all his shit. My female friend told me to come get it if I wanted it, a cardboard box full of porn beside her garbage can on the side of the house.
I kept my favourites and sold the rest for $20 an issue at school or traded them for nunchuks and bb guns. Made a killing.
Electronic-Spinach43@reddit
This is a wholesome pre-Internet story.
thejunkmanadv@reddit
In 1985 B.I. (Before Internet)
Gravy_Sommelier@reddit
I'm not sure which one tires my arm out more, the porn or the numchucks.
its_raining_scotch@reddit
I miss the days of nunchucks, BB guns, porn mags, and small increments of money making me feel like the coolest, luckiest person ever.
Neither-Principle139@reddit
Has to be one of the most GenX/Xennial things to do! Well played!
Level_Improvement532@reddit
They were frequently wrapped in a garbage bag so I always assumed a fair amount of premeditation was involved. Stashed out in the woods for the occasion that they could be “used” again. All I know is it was like finding a horde of kruggerands to 10 year old me.
thejunkmanadv@reddit
RareStable0@reddit
I've found both when I was a kid, both mags that looked like they were just tossed and others that were clearly packaged for someone to return to.
CrouchingDomo@reddit
For a second there I thought you found some nudie mags and some kugerrands
RareStable0@reddit
I wish
ThisIsADaydream@reddit
Riggghhhhttt......a hunch..... /s just in case 🤣
JoeGibbon@reddit
Yeah my hunch was hoodlum 7th grade kids would shoplift porn mags & steal them from their parents, along with cigarettes, cigars and the occasional beer, and stash them under an old unused canoe behind some old guy's house. Then they'd probably stop by there every day for about 30 minutes while walking home from school to look at some airbrushed tits and catch a buzz.
Probably.
Doctor_Mothman@reddit
Found mine (a weathered Adam and Eve catalog) buried under a pile of rocks in a quarry. I'm betting you're right.
truffles76@reddit
"Grandpa, sing me that folk song about how the minors cried when they closed the old porn quarry"
amayain@reddit
That miners/minors wordplay was really clever
truffles76@reddit
Aw, shucks, thanks! I'm just hoping it doesn't get me put on a list somewhere
Electronic-Spinach43@reddit
You could request them from their website. We used to pull this gag on friends and enemies in middle and high school.
I remember blue dots, lots of blue dots.
KnifeFightAcademy@reddit
Stay right there, young man! I've called your parents!
Sad_Egg_5176@reddit
My friend and I used to do this (mid-90s). Even put them in Tupperware to protect them from the rain
Capital-Meringue-164@reddit
That’s exactly what my husband said he did as a kid!
protossaccount@reddit
My buddy was a meter reader till 2015 and he would find forest pork (and dildos) quite often.
I assume it’s a stash from some old guy, cuz he sticking to the method he used in the 90’s. Like someone that is 47 but never got an email address still hides porn in the woods.
arandomhead1@reddit
Happy cake day. And this is exactly what went down back in the day. Hilarious to be learning this was universal
Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit
Also, don't underestimate the amount of stashed materials saved by people without homes. When you can't take it all with you, you need to know how to stash things for when you're through a particular area again. Or when something just doesn't tickle you anymore, you leave it for the next person. (See also: those neighbourhood "little free libraries")
Impossible-Taco-769@reddit
And then one day, the Spice Channel arrived. Blue titties for days!
imhereforthevotes@reddit
"Buy"... OP thinks we were buying porn at 18. I mean YES, YES, IT'S SO CONFUSING.
My little brother found mine but didn't rat me out to my mom, but she knew he was snooping in my stuff. I said he must have found my comic books. Then I tossed the magazine in a park trash. I should have left it in the woods.
MegaRadCoolDad@reddit
This is the reason. I hung out with older kids in the early 80s and I saw their stash.
Our local gas station had a magazine rack with 3 or 4 nudie mags right next to all the regular stuff.
Captain3leg-s@reddit
This is the right answer.
drainbamage1011@reddit
That was always my assumption.
HandWashing2020@reddit
In the woods behind the move theater
toomuchtv987@reddit
So you’ve heard. From friends.
RealSinnSage@reddit
found mine in the juniper bushes in the desert
mondomiketron@reddit
Here in Arizona we had desert porn
SpinelessAmoeby@reddit (OP)
So far I’ve got forest porn, gutter porn and now desert porn. I assume yours was the best preserved except the sun damage
its_raining_scotch@reddit
Creek porn too. Ours was always in the creeks. I didn’t even know the term “forest porn” until i heard about it on Reddit. It was always just creek porn to us.
mondomiketron@reddit
Pretty much lol
Roscoe_P_Trolltrain@reddit
I know where some of it came from. My friends and I had a “clubhouse” which was just a little clearing by a creek. One guy stole some playboys from his dad and brought them there. He then hid them under some leaves by a hush and they were of course gone the next time we went back. Don’t know if it was an inside job or what.
its_raining_scotch@reddit
There’s still a mystery from my past of who stole my vhs copy of Slick Deposit from my room. None of my friends have fessed up to this day. When it comes to porn stealing things get tricky.
SpinelessAmoeby@reddit (OP)
Absolutely that was an inside job.
aerodeck@reddit
I put it there because I didn’t want to get caught with it in the house
SpinelessAmoeby@reddit (OP)
Did you use a plastic bag or something to keep it covered?
aerodeck@reddit
Yeah
its_raining_scotch@reddit
Sorry we all stole your stash, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
Darth-Boogerus@reddit
I lived in an urban area as a kid, so I never found forest porn, as there were no forests. However, I did find ample dumpster porn.
its_raining_scotch@reddit
I’m from a small city with a lot of creeks but not much forest so we always had creek porn. Best places to look were always under and around bridges. Seems like guys would toss their mags off the bridge when they were done with them and then us kid/adolescent scavengers would find them. We even found VHS tapes too.
Bonus points for random pot plants growing in creeks too. Creeks were a magical place full of adventures, spoils, and dangers.
Shimakaze81@reddit
It was quite often in our elementary school dumpster.
We were little assholes back then, when we were done with them we left them to be found by where only the kindergarteners played. Oh man the chaos I heard later at that PTA and my friends and I doing our best not to burst out laughing at the principal’s PA announcement.
random9212@reddit
We had recycling dumpsters around town. there would be a compartment for glass, metal, and paper. There were quite a few times we found a discarded collection in with the paper.
three-sense@reddit
Yeah we had the suburban version of this. "In the alley, behind the vacant house, under a pile of bricks" jackpot. I assumed it was just a bachelor getting rid of his stash, or teenagers had nowhere to hide it or whatever.
Darth-Boogerus@reddit
Also dads trying to get rid of evidence.
Smokeythemagickamodo@reddit
Forest Porn.
Where the nymphs come to play.
La de da da do
HatRemov3r@reddit
Porn distribution system
PlatosBalls@reddit
I don’t think it’s called “forest porn” but my guess is that husbands would use them, then throw them out the window. Or teens would steal them and hide them. Always felt like finding a huge treasure when finding one though.
rojoshow13@reddit
I never heard it referred to as forest porn. But yeah it must've happened a lot because I found a Playboy in the woods near my house along a path I'd walk to school. I assume one of the other kids who also walked the same route had left it there. Maybe it was shoplifted or maybe taken from an older brother or maybe it was grown up who watched us from a distance. Or maybe there's a porn fairy who leaves porn for curious young boys to find.
No_Perception_4330@reddit
No forest porn, but I’d find Polaroids every time we did a highway cleanup.
Ardilla914@reddit
I naively clicked on this thinking it was going to be pictures of very nice looking trees in a forest. 🤦🏼♀️
a-type-of-pastry@reddit
I never found forest porn.
We did find shed porn though. We got into an abandoned metal shed and found just boxes full of these like...porn trading cards. It was like finding El Dorado. The shed was stacked to the ceiling with these boxes of porn cards.
amafalet@reddit
No forest porn, we found those in our uncle’s, grandpa’s, or older cousin’s rooms.
mix0logist@reddit
I found woods porn, but my friend's dad had a GIGANTIC collection of Playboys, Penthouses, and Husters (among others) in his attic. Just boxes upon boxes from the early 80s to the mid 90s. So I never really had to hope for woods porn when we had such easy access.
Also, we were early adopters of the Internet, which coincided with when I turned about 13 or 14.
Epicardiectomist@reddit
I remember it being called "trucker porn". The stash we found was behind our old middle school.
wookiesack22@reddit
We stole them from our parents and wherever else we could. I remember stealing a bunch of my dad's cigarettes to pay my buddy for a porn mag. We traded porn. It was so hard to aquire porn in the 90s. We had forest porn under a rock. I dont remember if it was in a plastic bag or just left there.
Own_Picture_6442@reddit
Oh my god, I had no idea other people found forest porn too lol
soopirV@reddit
I’ve often wondered this too, as I’ve had four or five experience with woods porn- it was always well-protected, so I don’t think it was trash. My suspicion was either a teen or a dad was feeling like his stash was close to being found, so it got relocated temporarily, or someone decided to “go clean” and decided to share them. One time, in Tahoe as an adult, the wife and I were walking around the lake and I spotted a brand new copy of something called Juggz sitting on a bench in plain view- I looked around expecting to see some perv stroking it while watching me from the bushes, but just threw it out.
AdjacentPrepper@reddit
There used to be a lot of weird stuff before cellphones and security cameras everywhere.
I remember walking home from school one (around 1999-2000), in the late winter in Massachusetts. The snow was melting, but there were still plenty of 2' to 3' piles of snow on the edge of the sidewalk, and there was a pair of women's underwear in the slow (embedded in the snow, clearly they had been left when the snow pile was shorter).
How in the world does someone lose their underwear in the middle of a snowstorm on the side of a busy road? I don't get it, but in the two years that I was walking home (5+ miles) as a kid I saw a lot of weird stuff just left on the sidewalk.
Pierson230@reddit
So funny, I found forest porn twice as a kid.
Once when I was like 9, and then again after we moved to a different neighborhood when I was 11.
Both were exactly as you describe- at the end of a tiny trail, a burned out fire, empty cans/bottles, and a metal box with porn in it
Webhead24-7@reddit
Damn, this is news to me! The only 18+ in the woods i knew about was the sex I was having there lol.
zacha1617@reddit
Found some rolled up and stuffed in a stump in the early 90s. Crazy that this was such a wide spread thing.
Nitzelplick@reddit
Volunteered at a recycling center. A brown paper bag was tossed up to me to add to the pile in the rolloff dumpster. It burst open. There were multiple packages just like it. Stacks and stacks of early 80’s porn. Reduce. ✅ Reuse.✅ Not recycled.
Peaceoorwar@reddit
I grew up in low income housing in Brooklyn Ny and would even find porn in the bushes for some reason 🤣
jturner0204@reddit
I remember finding some stuffed in a PVC pipe when we were out in the woods building our fort. It was a real thing. Probably some older kids stashing it out of the way.
whymygraine@reddit
A small grocery store in my town cut the covers off and threw them away at the end of the month, a friend and I had duffel bags if porn mags. We had caches all over the place.
Money_Magnet24@reddit
I thought you were talking about actual pictures of trees and lakes and rivers and forest and some website you found
SpinelessAmoeby@reddit (OP)
Sorry, those would have to be sweet ass landscapes to merit NSFW
Toxikfoxx@reddit
Note Safe For Woods 🤨
ProbablyAimee@reddit
Me too. I was prepped for root flare and moss.
Toxikfoxx@reddit
Not the forest, but I found my first ever porn mags left in the dead end near the train tracks. Best day of 12 year old me’s life 😅
jeff889@reddit
Didn’t understand title, thought this was about magazines of trees.
DabBoofer@reddit
I only found forest porn twice... once when I was like 8. which ws my first experience seing a woman naked. and again when I was like 17, I can remember one woman from each mag. the second time the mags were dirty and moldy ... make the girls seem unappealing LOL. anyway second time I snuck back there to have solo funtime with the mag and my friend and I bumped into eachother on the way. I think we had the same Idea LOLOL
SLorma@reddit
Side of the railroad* tracks, in a lil wooded cove. There was forest porn and an old mattress.
*An active railroad track that we walked and played on. Super smart.
Venusian2AsABoy@reddit
first one I ever found I picked it up opened it in the first picture I saw was “a guy with two dicks” getting a double blow job. 🤣
Dickrubin14094@reddit
TIL about forest porn. This wasn’t a thing in my area growing up
BusFew5534@reddit
My neighbor across the street growing up was a friend of mine. We lived near "the woods" and had a fort there. His dad also had subscriptions to Playboy and Penthouse. Of course we brought them out there and looked through them. I just hope that the generation behind me also enjoyed the material. The magazines left behind were late 80s to mid and late 90s. He'll no I didn't leave behind Pam Anderson or Jenny McCarthy.
TheRealGageEndal@reddit
I have a fond memory of my first playboy. I was around 10-12 and a neighbor was having a yard sale. In the very public sale, they had a comic book style collection of about 60 playboys. They had them next to comic books.
So I did what any pubescent boy would do I bought a stack of comics and slid a few much l a ever format playboys in the middle. I showed the guy the stack and told him it was 12 comics and handed him the 3 bucks. The guy looked at the stack, smiled, amd took the money.
He then said I should head straight home and be sure to put those away.
aspect-of-the-badger@reddit
Yep, I found a forest magazine. No idea how it got there but it ended up in my bedroom.
DevilsLettucePrey@reddit
My little gang of misfits would steal them from our dads and then stash them. A tactic we learned from some of our older brothers. It was passed down to us. I'm assuming someone passed it to them. Over time our collections grew. We converted to VHS and you can't leave that outside. Told the young neighborhood kids about our 'stash' and it was all theirs.
True to life in my little world
chrisr805@reddit
As kids we would always try to build forts and little hang outs in the forest and there was one older kid who always brought porn to leave in the fort. Mostly playboy and penthouse. Some would go missing but then found again in the wild.
Then there was also the recycling center where I found a box full. I took it home but by this time I preferred vhs, dvds, and what ever I could watch on dialup so I took them back.
LasagnahogXRP@reddit
Step 1 :a dad or friends dad buys and collects at least a small stack of smut.
Step 2 : a son and his friends discover said smut and rejoice. But sneaking a peek becomes perilous. Wouldn’t it be better to have almost unlimited access?
Step 3 a brave soul sneaks the magazine(s) to a private location. How about…some bushes/the forest ?
Step 4: profit.
jessek@reddit
I assumed a lot of those were hid out there by other kids, some were taken out there by grown ups who were ashamed of having them.
xtlhogciao@reddit
Stumbling upon a grown up in the woods, looking at porn, would be horrifying. For some reason I’m picturing Christopher Lloyd in Dennis the Menace.
CD84@reddit
He was truly terrifying to me in that film. Then I saw Silence of the Lambs.
East_Meeting_667@reddit
I had little cache sites all over town back then and often I would leave things around for friends, they would tell me about a drop spot they use. I was as natural are knowing phone numbers back then
kivsemaj@reddit
My friends and I had a huge porn mag stash in the woods in a metal ammo case. Don't know how they got there. Don't know what eventually happened to them. Life before the internet was wild.
flamingknifepenis@reddit
It was “gutter porn” for us city kids, but the same thing. You’d be walking through some isolated little alley, up to whatever degeneracy we were in to that day, and all of a sudden your Spidey Sense would start tingling and your vision would turn all heat seeking-y like the alien in Predator. Almost instantly you’d hone in on a crumpled magazine and you’d know that the God of Adolescence had smiled down upon you. No more National Geographic for me!
Allaplgy@reddit
I found someone's whole porn cave under a long cement stair set down a hill in a park in SF. Some hobo's wacky shack. Pages stuck all over the ceiling (underside of the stairs).
mutantbabysnort@reddit
This description is epic, lol
Sidetrackbob@reddit
Bristol Community College, Fall River, MA Winter of '04-'05 my friends and I found a large stash of "man porn" in the woods by school. My friend Snake was traumatized to the point he couldn't hardly speak right for two days.
arcxjo@reddit
Johnny Spillhisseed traveled the country leaving it to germinate in a new generation.
rebuildingsince64@reddit
I always imagined that it was a mythical magical being, like the tooth fairy but maybe fuzzier. Their sole purpose was to assist young men in assisting their pervy adolescent desires.
I wish someone could animate this being into existence
xxlouserxx@reddit
I’ve found it in the woods, by the train tracks, abandoned buildings and a house foreclosure and once just on the sidewalk out in the open now all I find are cats
FionaGoodeEnough@reddit
My friend used to steal them and then hide them outside because he couldn’t risk them being in the house.
Pickillz@reddit
When I was 9, back in good ol’ Louisiana, we had baseball field porn. It wasn’t laying on the field, but inside the building behind home plate. Go upstairs and you had this big window where you can see the whole field. There were chairs and a big chest in the middle. I was hanging out with a friend who lived in a trailer near the field. We snuck into the building at the field and he opened up the chest to show me. A freaking treasure chest filled with porn!!! Hustlers, playboys, Shaved and Ready’s, it was amazing! We spent had to of been an hour just flipping through the pages showing each other what we have found. I always wondered are there dudes just up there jerking it during games? That’s a lil weird… Multiple people had to have known about the porn stash.
physical0@reddit
On multiple occasions I had found loose pages of porno mags scattered. I never found an intact mag. I lived in a crappy part of the city and there were many alleys to go through.
GenericDave65@reddit
My friend’s uncle had boxes of them in his basement and we would sneak one or two out when we had a chance. Then we would stash them in the woods.
realauthormattjanak@reddit
Used to walk ro school with another kid in 94. We'd find magazines in the ditch next to the woods randomly every few weeks. In perfect condition, just, thrown there. The universe was smiling upon us.
RangerFan80@reddit
I found a pristine copy of the 35th anniversary issue of playboy just laying on the side of my dirt road. Our house was basically in the woods, definitely found a few mags out there on the trails.
three-sense@reddit
One of my buddies around that time lived near a dirt hill/parking lot and he found a grocery bag with magazines and a few tapes (kinky shit). The days before the "delete" key... lol
AdumLarp@reddit
Use to walk home with a friend and we found a bag in the street. I had to know what was in it, and what was in it was three porno mags. We kept them at his house cause he had a fort built in his back yard. We hung out in that fort a lot over the coming days, but I’m sure he spent some alone time in there when I wasn’t around.
Ta_mere6969@reddit
Flagstaff, summer 1989. On a little road trip to the Grand Canyon. We stop at an abandoned wooden house on the side of the road to take some photos. Stuffed behind a pile of junk is a page ripped out of a magazine.
It was topless wrestling and boxing, I had never seen anything like it. I think the company was Pantera or Napoli.
PossiBlyeGoWrong@reddit
I found construction porn growing up.
E-2theRescue@reddit
I've wondered if anyone else had a secret rock.
We used to have a tall grass/"forest" area by my house and the kids before us had built a hangout spot with log and stone seats and a firepit (we never used). There was also a boulder with a hollowed out rock on top of it not far off. It was the neighborhood geocache and you never knew what you'd find. Porn, marijuana, a used condom... It was always a surprise!
RedLigerStones@reddit
lol. I didn’t know other people had this experience. My experience was finding forest storm drain porn. Should I start a separate thread for that?
TheJokersWild53@reddit
We were kids in the late 80s and found some suitcases in the woods. Being curious, we opened them up and found clothes and about 20 Playboy magazines. We looked through them all and put them back. When we went back later in the week, they were all ruined by rain.
joeyretrotv@reddit
I remember when Ginger Spice did Playboy and some kids stashed a copy in a thick bush outside someone's house. That spot was the talk of the class amongst us boys. 😁
MistressErinPaid@reddit
Thick bush, huh? 😂😂😂
joeyretrotv@reddit
The thicker the better ,😉
audiate@reddit
Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to
72scott72@reddit
I seriously thought the forest porn thing was just some freak in my hometown. I had no idea until a few years ago that it was a national phenomenon. We used to go into the woods to smoke weed and would occasionally stumble across the massive piles of porno mags.
DudelinBaluntner@reddit
I grew up in a heavily wooded neighborhood near a college, so I too just assumed forest porn was a local phenomenon. Shocked to see how widespread it apparently was.
wendellbaker@reddit
Am I the only one who's thought about purchasing porn mags and leaving them in the woods for kids these days to give them that wonderful experience of seeing a bush for the first time? Except I guess nobody has bushes anymore but you get the point
GonnaGoFat@reddit
I rarely encountered porn in the wild. Maybe a picture of a boob or 2 but they were rare. Although later when I was older and of age to buy porn. I would get 2 pack magazines. You could see what the first one was but the second was always a surprise. And not usually a good one. When I used to work security I would sometimes get rid of the magazines I didn’t like by putting them in the homes under construction. Just slide them through a few pieces of wood and they would flutter to the basement. I was like a horny Santa delivering gifts to whoever was there to start construction the next day.
MistressErinPaid@reddit
Well, you made someone's day 😂
pete_pete_pete_@reddit
I found forest port in an abandoned suitcase, and also an old refrigerator.
MistressErinPaid@reddit
I never found any out in the wild. I found my parents' entire stash box though 😂 I was a nosey kid and wanted to find where my Christmas presents were hidden.
Where would parents hide presents? At the top of their closet in a cardboard box, of course!
Somehow, every time they moved the location of the stash, I found it. My parents were great, btw. I truly was a nosey kid 😂🤣😂
Y2K_Blackout@reddit
I thought this was going to be a post of some sweet, sweet maple trees... 🍁
Automatic_Beat5808@reddit
Came here because I thought we were talking about sexy forests.
More-read-than-eddit@reddit
As an adult I left a horrifyingly depraved Japanese porn manga on top of the trash can at a rest stop near Newark. I still wonder whether it ever got picked up and who it scarred
Gon_777@reddit
I was walking along our local creek with an older kid who dove into the water to grab something. It was a thoroughly soaked penthouse which he dried out over a few days then showed me. Mind blowing for a 9 year old.
ProfessorOfLies@reddit
Found an old stump, the kind left over after some had an old tree removed. Under it was a LOT of porn. Hustler, penthouse, some off brand ones too. I just have been about 10 and didn't know what to do with them yet. Went back a few times to look, but never for long cuz I didn't want to get caught. Last time I even looked nature had started to take its toll. Everything was water logged and there were slugs all over them. Never went back after. Just strolled past the old site the other day. Its paved over as a walking / bike trail now
southernfirm@reddit
Totally thought this would be a tangent on Cabin Porn, something we have all been guilty of, as well.
When I was in about the third or fourth grade, me and my boys found a porno mag in the parking lot of our parochial school (Catholic), and we had enjoyment of it for a hot minute, until the Man came and took it from us.
I remember bragging about finding it. The nipples, man: they beckoned to us, hahaha.
AliveInTheFuture@reddit
Not forest, but shed and bathroom secret stash.
therealkeeper@reddit
We had religious parents and owned property. So we had several stashes out in our woods. Heard years later from a neighbor kid that he found one while playing back there lol
dajjadaj@reddit
Omg, yes, forest porn was totally a thing.
Zodep@reddit
I had a friend that took his dad’s and brought them out to show us in the woods. He made the mistake of stealing from me, so I threw his dad’s magazine in a water barrel.
So yeah, sometimes it was just kids wanting to show off.
Aeronor@reddit
I found one in a hotel under the sink as a young teen. What a vacation!
a-ha_partridge@reddit
It was cornfield porn in my part of the world - source was always some neighborhood kids dad’s closet stash of lad rags.
Taxitaxitaxi33@reddit
The porn fairy sadly was retired when the internet took over.
SpinelessAmoeby@reddit (OP)
Pretty sure porn fairy manifested as a far greater fey!
whereilaymyheadishom@reddit
I came here expecting beautiful landscapes.
Cockblocktimus_Pryme@reddit
Friends stole them from parents, older brothers, or the store. I had this buddy who had a dad with a subscription to penthouse and playboy and hustler, he had a library of porn. Literal stacks everywhere. We would go over to play Sega and it was pretty easy to snag one.
tmanarl@reddit
Found my first behind the dumpster at church.
Shit_Bird33@reddit
I definitely found boxes of porn when I was a kid. Hell, I found one in 2016.
Particular_Ad_644@reddit
I found some in a modest fort sitting in the middle of a pasture in a Midwest state. Perused with my buddies but we left it there.
Plane_Jacket_7251@reddit
We stumbled upon a few of these piles as well. Looking back, it was super weird. But hey, when you are a twelve year old moldy pages be damned, im looking at them.
AlienDelarge@reddit
The neighbor kid stole it from his dad and had a stash on the way home from school in one case. Not sure about the other stash we found but probably similar.
madsci@reddit
I was on the local search and rescue team, starting as an Explorer at age 15, and I can vouch for the fact that every bit of woods anywhere near houses would have porn caches.
It was rarely new stuff. Porno mags and illegal fireworks were the currencies of adolescent boys. The two were readily exchangeable. You might not have a safe place to put your stash, or it might be a communal stash with your bros. And hiding it in the woods gave you plausible deniability - there was no proving who had put it there initially.
You'd often find a cache near a suitable tree where someone had swiped some particle board from a construction site and nailed it to some branches to make a basic tree fort.
A Playboy in decent condition could easily be passed on for 10 years or more. Among my friends, our biggest score ever was when my best friend's single dad got a new girlfriend and ditched his impressive collection. My friend spotted them in the trash and saved the whole batch, dozens of magazines, and those probably traded in the neighborhood for years. And we learned a lot from those Penthouse Letters magazines.
On an evidence search at a small town general store, we (SAR Explorers) found a well-preserved batch of 1970s Playboys in an abandoned outbuilding. I don't think we had a chance to liberate those, but we took a moment to appreciate some vintage 70s bush. I remember on other searches in the woods finding a Polaroid dick pic, and once a vibrator.
The trading got to be moot once we were old enough to get to the weekend swap meet on our own and you could just buy boxes of magazines from some creepy guy who didn't care you weren't 18.
SciFi_MuffinMan@reddit
Buddy and I would go up in the county land, all hills behind our houses. (Honestly we had a sweet set up. He lived next door, we could jump the back fence and be in county land. There was a substation up in the hills not too far, and next to it was scrub and trees that hid a dug out that older HS kids would go. That was the prime loot location.
We could also sit and watch the HS kids drive their or dad’s truck up the ridge line off road trying to impress the girls. About twice a year they would park and forget the parking brake and it would tumble down the hills while they panicked at the top. Great times.
Serious_Lettuce6716@reddit
I bought them secondhand (no pun intended) from friends from middle school until I was 16 and drove to the local newsstand and bought them myself without being carded. I bought at least one of each genre. I learned what my type was.
0peRightBehindYa@reddit
I can neither confirm nor deny the local hangout by the pond had a stash of porn, cigarettes, illegal fireworks, and assorted other contraband that I'm bound by blood oath not to discuss.
But yes....forest porn was and probably still is a real thing.
karaloveskate@reddit
I remember once finding a bunch of porn mags along with an AC/DC tape. It was my first introduction to the band.
ThePhantomPooper@reddit
Lucky bastid
Goodnight_lemro@reddit
That’s magical.
gibson85@reddit
TuckerCarlsonsOhface@reddit
Haha, forest porn.
My elementary school had a cemetery across the street, and the back left corner had a tipped over headstone that someone stashed the Vanna White edition of Playboy under. Every boy in the school knew about it, and kept the secret. It was always there when we would go hang out and smoke our “found” cigs, and I don’t think anyone ever took it. Not exactly porn, but naked Vanna was my first experience with what I later learned is known as the “spank bank”.
FuzzyTunaTaco21@reddit
Tried telling a group of 20 year old about this at work, and they thought I was trolling them. They couldn't fathom why this would be a thing, and to be honest, I dont blame them. Its a fricken oddity, but nonetheless was a thing.
ToWitToWow@reddit
I think Nelson said it best:
https://i.redd.it/0p3zm85lwjzf1.gif
_meestir_@reddit
My older brother told its because raccoons are chronic fappers
Rainin3sfromthetrees@reddit
A buddy of mine used to clean trash along the mass pike (not a forest but something similar). He said they had a back room dedicated to all the porno mags they found.
TijayesPJs443@reddit
Its such a mystery how finding porn in the woods was like a common phenomena!
Dabnician@reddit
The creek that was behind my neighborhood had a couches in a trees. some of the kids would haul them there and build tree forts except no parents were involved and you sort of just used more random wood and nails when shit broke.
it was stupid dangerous lol
KDiggity8@reddit
I remember hanging out with my friends on their front porch. Inner city, we were about 12-13. A jeep drove past and we heard a WHAM after it passed behind a hedge. We went out to see what happened. They'd dropped a box FILLED with hardcore European porno mags. Like well beyond anything we knew existed. This would've been early 90s, so they really blew our minds.
God's plan, lol
SpinelessAmoeby@reddit (OP)
Awesome, a new source I’ve never heard of. Wonder why they didn’t want it?
KDiggity8@reddit
I honestly have no idea why they were getting rid of it, or why they would do it like this, when they could've just thrown it all out?
It was so random, it's still hard for me to believe it happened. Growing up in the city, there was no forest point to speak of. I did find some gutter/sewer nudie mags on occasion tho.
And there was always the asshole kid in every middle school whose dad got them a subscription to Playboy...
EricRShelton@reddit
I grew up in Arizona. We had desert porn, but exactly the same concept. One day I found a hardcore magazine just sitting on the curb in front of my house. Wild times.
UtProsim00@reddit
Some kids near me built a fort in the woods near my house and hid themselves a stash of nudie mags. Somebody spray painted the fort "fuck house".
jackfaire@reddit
Literally never found any but there was a patch of woods behind the 7-11 where I did find empty beer cans. If I ever found any that would have been where. My guess is kids with fake IDs buying porn like they bought beer.
S_A_R_K@reddit
We found a big black trash bag full of magazines. Always thought someone had decided to throw out their stash but decided to set it free in the woods. Circle of porn
MasterpieceNo2746@reddit
There was a field by my house with an old treehouse in it. One day, my best friend and I found not just porn, but also a pair of panties…..that was the last time we went to that field.
defaultuser223@reddit
This is weird and hilarious
VerbalK23@reddit
Killer band name
CountDoppelbock@reddit
Yeah, friend of mine in the ‘90s had an older brother who had a stash out in the woods on their property. My friend knew where it was, of course, so we’d leaf through em every chance we got. I’m sure his parents wondered why we spent so much time in the woods behind his house
Cow_Man42@reddit
Hey bums need to jerk off too. I never saw this phenomenon in MI but when I moved to GA, I discovered porn seemed to be everywhere in the woods near stripmalls and abandoned buildings. I learned that homeless dudes "camping" were heavy consumers of porno mags and would just leave them out.
Midlife_Resurgence@reddit
In my late teens or early 20s, I once drove out into the desert and left a pile of porn beside the road because I was hungover and depressed and felt bad about having/viewing the porn. I imagine some of those forest stashes appeared under similar circumstances.
DDrewit@reddit
We had dumpster porn.
TheFoxandTheSandor@reddit
Lots of magazines in the woods. By the baseball field
GreenApples8710@reddit
Our little league ballfields were (still are) separated from the river by a wooded area. We'd hang out back there before/between games...the place was an absolute treasure trove.
We assummed they were gifts from the gods.
Exiled_metalfield@reddit
Yes lol, and this was so horrific I can’t forget. Semi-rural PA and me da boys are riding our BMX bikes on a backroad. We stop at a ditch to look because ditches are cool, peer into the ditch and see old 70s mags (yay) and a few feet beyond that was likely the carcasses of poached deer (not yay). Wonderful.
Hillbillygeek1981@reddit
I don't recall ever finding discarded porn in the woods as a kid, but I did grow up in rural Tennessee. We were poor, sneaky and borderline hoarders when it came to anything that might have value to ourselves or as a trading commodity, lol. I've found more as a grown man with my wife cleaning up back roads and hiking trails in the last few years than I'd ever even heard of in the 80s and 90s. Mind you, there's a porn shop that still sells paper mags twenty minutes away off the interstate from here, so finding some old timer's nostalgia spank might have a bit of a resurgence on the public land and dirt roads here that is a complete anomaly somewhere else. It's definitely prompted us to upgrade our stash of gloves and trash grabbers in both our vehicles when we get restless and go on a cleanup date, lol.
RetroBerner@reddit
They were left there because it was like an unspoken bro code thing. Sharing is caring.
Gloom_Pangolin@reddit
Field trip to the river in 9th or 10th grade. I assume mine was reading material for some fisherman who didn’t want his wife to know. There were also a lot of beer cans around and I’m in Mormon country so this seems par for the course.
d00kieshoes@reddit
Some older kid in the neighborhood hid his stash of mags at the park by my house. Apparently right before mower day. My friends and I gathered what we could and spent the next few weeks doing our best to tape them back together.
United_Mango4483@reddit
There was , well, is an "adult bookstore" near the farm, walking distance. I never went but my mentally challenged great uncle who never left the farm would walk down there and the amount of shit that was thrown over the hill behind that place, and he'd bring them back to the farm! He'd proudly show everyone, my mother included! He had menig9whe he was a small fever, very high fever, so he wasn't right.
Pankosmanko@reddit
I did community service back in the late 90s, and picked up trash along country roads and in forested areas. Found some really cool stuff, and a LOT of nudie mags. I disposed of probably a hundred magazines over a year’s time frame working weekends.
Expensive-Record324@reddit
I was probably 12 and was bringing the empty trash bin in from the curb and there was a penthouse in the bottom of it.
I also heard the forest porn rumors and explored plenty of forests, but no success there.
SensitiveArtist@reddit
I think the stuff my brother and I found got washed down a storm drain and then into the creek that ran behind our house.
jaywinner@reddit
I can't explain it but I know I've found some twice while growing up. Once was literally in the woods nearby and another was spilling out of a dumpster near a convenience store.
Fair_Blood3176@reddit
I remember the first porn I came across was in the corner of our elementary school field! Thinking back I always thought that was particularly nefarious for an adult to do but thinking it in today's sense... I don't about anyone else but I still think it is extremely nefarious.
Brocephus_@reddit
I grew up in mid 90s and when parents suspected we got a porn collection they'd threaten us so we would hide them elsewhere. All my friends had mags in their houses until parents suspected something so we got rid of them. Then go dig them up alone and bust nuts in them like Danny on 'This is the End'
Itsnotbabyyoda389@reddit
Barns. There were many a magazine stashed in the machine shed that grandpa didn’t want grandma knowing about or an uncle left during his teenage years. My brother and I found a few that way.
Mattimvs@reddit
When I was about 10 I found one of those 'girls of...' Playboys that was all pics (in a garbage can in my local park). The rosetta stone received less admiration and inspection than that mag did
Rivas-al-Yehuda@reddit
I remember hearing about 'found Playboys' in parks and forests. My friends and I were always exploring, hoping to find some, but never did. Fortunately, we found other friends whose father's had massive collections in the garage.