It’d literally be cheaper to fly to any other developed country on earth and stay in a rental apartment for a month while getting that scheduled, performed, and getting results back, before flying home to this fucking disaster.
If I'm not mistaken, you can't have had colon cancer already, so I'm out on that. My surgical oncologist has removed polyps pretty much every year, so this is typically the best route.
Honestly, the prep and the bathroom results weren’t as bad as going like 36-40 hours without food. That part is what really sucked. Broth and jello can only do so much towards hunger.
Back in 20 I had a nasty H pylori infection resulting in an ulcer which made it impossible to keep anything down so for a good six months or so broth and jello, along with almond milk was the only thing I could safely eat.
If you use the prep liquid in the time frame they suggest and follow the diet restrictions (clear liquids) then you’ll shit so often that you’ll eventually shit clear. They will be no fecal mater in your colon. You’ll have to keep shitting and you’ll need to shit just before the procedure, but it will be clear. After the procedure it will wear off some. The procedure is feel a cool sensation in your arm. Then wake up. That’s it.
When they gave me the prep, it was basically a gallon jug of laxative. I was to drink half of it the night before, and half of it the morning of. They gave me a specific cut off time to finish it. I followed their schedule, and actually started a little earlier than they said.
The first night there was a LOT of uncertainty. I spent a good two hours on the toilet. When I thought it was safe to get up, I learned that situation was temporary. If you get up, and you have the slightest urge to go, do not wait. Do not think that this is a normal poop that you can hold in. The urgency will be sudden, amplified, and dire. When the urge comes, make haste.
At any rate, I started a little early the following morning, because I was familiar with how long it would take to become whole again after the last drink. The result was that I didn't have to make again before the procedure. Pay attention to how your body reacts the night before.
A friend of mine went in a diaper. She assured me that I would shit myself on the way there, because she did. She was wrong. If anyone tells you that no one drinks the whole prep, prove them wrong. Drink it all.
Perhaps we should earn a finders fee for renting out our asses as a form of temporary storage? That'd make all of the prep misery worth the effort LOL!!!
Did mine earlier this year. I used chicken stock and added a little roasted garlic better than bouillon. Just sipped on that out of a coffee mug all day long, it made it less unpleasant.
I went through two containers of pho broth. lol it was the only thing that kinda felt like food.
Then I totally forgot popsicles and honey were ok to eat and I had bought a bunch (thanks adhd) specifically for that day.
Enjoy the drugs though. On the way home I told my boyfriend that I understand why those rich lady’s with shitty husbands take pills all day because I care about absolutely nothing right now. lol I never felt so chill, but I wouldn’t be able to deal with that daily.
This is something that’s so different between jurisdictions. In the UK you get two sachets to mix with water. The first is mango and the second is fruit and that’s it. No broth or anything else needed.
I had a right hemicolectomy at 35. Thankfully it was caught super early. I've been getting checked every year because they keep finding polyps. I had the generic testing done and am not a carrier.
Had the same procedure back in October of 22 myself and developed post op complications, namely an abdominal abscess which kept me in the hospital for close to a month.
Damn, I'm sorry to hear that. Did the stitching come apart or something?
My colon shut down around two weeks later for about a week or so. I couldn't go at all. I knew I needed to eat and would try to, but then just lose interest after a few bites. I'd then eventually throw it back up and then that turned to bile coming up. I know it's cliche, but I drank some prune juice, was up all night in Hell, and right as rain after that. Organic, really pulpy stuff.
Fortunately since my procedure was laparascopic I didn't have any issues with the stitches. I did however have a bit of nausea and vomiting and needed a JP drain inserted though.
I have diverticulitis and had colon cancer, so I also get them every other year. I am always forced to drink a gallon of GoLytely though; would much rather take that miralax and tablet concoction.
Had my first this year and never been sedated before. 10/10 indeed! Didn't sleep a wink the night before due to prep, went in exhausted, woke up from 30 min nap feeling like I had a truly refreshing full night's sleep!
I've had three Colonoscopies at 45yo - Crohn's is my excuse - anyway two of them they knocked me out, but the third time was with fentanyl. I hated it. I was mostly asleep, but super groggy and the whole day I was out of it and groggy. I do not recommend it.
It turns out that one hospital uses fentanyl and the surgical center uses whatever knocks me out completely. I'm definitely not going back to the hospital.
Colonoscopy prep? Dude, buy some adult diapers. It’s humiliating but it will save you so much laundry. Also, arrange to have a meal ready for you as soon as you get home. You’ll be starved and exhausted but won’t want to go to a restaurant.
Oh god good luck. I just had mine last week. The prep was worse than the actual procedure by far. The worst past wasn’t even the diarrhea (not a sentence I thought I’d ever type). The worst part was the disgusting magnesium citrate and the prescription laxative stuff. Yuck. 🤢
I'm getting one in January, though I had one before and used that big jug of horribleness. I kept drinking and suffering from it long after I had to, I just didn't know when it was okay to stop.
So, this next time I'm not using that stuff, I'll be using something like this. It's all unpleasant in general, but that jug of Golytely is torture. Go "lightly" my ass... literally.
Not looking forward to this. I'll be doing this at the beginning of next year. I'll be 45 on Christmas Eve, so I'm not gonna try to deal with this shit (pun intended) during the chaos of the holidays
Did mine in June. Every told me how absolutely terrible it was going to be--and I'm very glad they did. It was nowhere near as bad as described. I had a book on standby and my phone.
Thankfully, I'm able to work from home tomorrow. Even if I didn't, I'm fortunate enough to have a bathroom built into my office... that I share with five other people.
Turns out the nausea was actually heart burn from drinking Gatorade. Like a lot of burning for an hour. Use water instead or water down the Gatorade a lot for the prep drink.
Good luck!! They are so important. And it will be the best nap.
I was so glad to have mine. It was in June. It was my 2nd one. I had one three years ago, and they found polyps. So I came back earlier. A tumor was found this time. I am okay. I had surgery, and it was removed. No chemo is needed.
Had my first in August and, aside from that nasty substance they make you drink a gallon of, it went great. Next time, I'm asking for the pills instead
!Fun fact! The Doc that did mine is also the vasectomy Doc at my local VA. I go in to see about the snip and he's all "Hi Jennifer, long time no see! You don't remember me from your previous visit, do you?" How do you respond to that?!!<
Ohhh boy. The prep is pretty miserable, but they give you propofil to knock you out for it and you wake up feeling Kate Moss thin.
Get witch hazel ass wipes and plenty of prep h.
Good decision. I have my first colonoscopy at 49 and they found a polyp that turned out cancerous, my doc said it had likely been growing for 10 years. I had a partial resection and have been cancer free ever since.
I just had one done. I woke feeling like I was about to spray shit everywhere. Apparently I told the nurse, “hey look, you’re really pretty and I really respect you. I feel like I’m about to shotgun shit so you may want to move” She then told me I just had to fart, then I just let em rip beyblades.
Post-op loopyness only lasts a few minutes after the procedure. By the time you’re being wheeled out to the car, you’ll be fully conscious. I’ve had a colonoscopy, endoscopy, and right colectomy/cholecystectomy surgery, 3 procedures within 3 months.
Loopiness only lasts a few minutes but knowing you proposed to your anesthesiologist in front of your husband lasts forever. He’ll probably chisel it on my tombstone. 😂
Reminds me of the midlife crisis scene in City Slickers: In your 80’s, you’ll have a massive stroke, and you’ll end up babbling to some Jamaican nurse who your wife can’t stand and you call “Momma”. Any questions?
Several years ago I was coming off of the propofol in the recovery room and hitting on my nurse. She was like "I'm a grandma!" Good looking grandma indeed.
If you’re getting propofol, you’ll hopefully only feel a little tired afterwards but otherwise normal. I was pleasantly surprised after horrible experiences with other kinds of anesthesia.
I had my inspection on Monday. Sunday night on the second round of suprep, I gave up on being functional for the evening. I sat at the bottom of the stairs and told my wife to handle the kids. I was spent.
But reporting back nothing remarkable in the pipes!
After my right hemicolectomy all I do is shoot out chocolate milk....although I've recently had a streak of shooting solids which unfortunately came to an end this morning.
Yeah, fun times. It will be fine, though. One big mistake I made is that I combined chicken broth with the laxative solution. I didn't realize the solution is on the super sweet side. I do not recommend, hehe!
In all seriousness, i hope all goes well. My gastro nurses friend said (based on the findings of my colonoscopy) if had waited until the recommended age i would likely be dealing with colorectal cancer today
We've gone through two of them but both started leaking after a month. I've wondered if I opened the water valve too much and the pressure was too high but I've never felt like risking another one just to try that out. I do love a bidet.
ScuderiaSteve@reddit
I was supposed to have an endoscopy Monday but they wanted me to pay $13,000 out of pocket after insurance. Guess I'll just die
goglamere@reddit
I don’t know, have you seen the price of coffins!?
nakedcellist@reddit
Might be worth going for medical tourism abroad
WelcheMingziDarou@reddit
It’d literally be cheaper to fly to any other developed country on earth and stay in a rental apartment for a month while getting that scheduled, performed, and getting results back, before flying home to this fucking disaster.
Emotional_Warthog658@reddit
and THAT reality is why medical tourism is a thing.
It is 1/2 the cost to fly to the UK round trip and fill my heart meds for 6 months vs one month of the medication in the US
veltrop@reddit
Wow. My endoscopy + colonoscopy done in one session cost zero.
And I was never even shown any kind of price sheet or receipt.
stlredbird@reddit
poindxtrwv@reddit (OP)
That just isn't right. No one should have to worry about such a thing in a nation that wants to call itself great.
WorkingRecording4863@reddit
This is why Mangione's exist.
Voltage604@reddit
That's crazy and hearing shit like this makes me even happier I am Canadian.
LuckyCod2887@reddit
i would die too. i’m sorry my bro
juniper3411@reddit
The heck??? That’s insane.
againandagain22@reddit
The correct choice, as it will be for anyone who doesn’t have the money. When our time comes then we have to accept it.
Can’t have a bbq for a $13,000 preventative procedure.
Roving_Rhythmatist@reddit
Ask your doctor about cologuard.
You just poop in a cup and send it to Wisconsin.
You have to do it more often, but if you qualify, it is so much easier than the procedure. If you do not qualify, definitely get the procedure!
poindxtrwv@reddit (OP)
If I'm not mistaken, you can't have had colon cancer already, so I'm out on that. My surgical oncologist has removed polyps pretty much every year, so this is typically the best route.
Roving_Rhythmatist@reddit
Oh
My
God
I’ve never seen that before, thank you, and may you have the best of health.
drawgs@reddit
Just say no
MatchlessGore@reddit
Have fun and good luck!
pjhk75@reddit
Just had mine yesterday. Good times.
-Cool_Ethan-@reddit
DO NOT EVEN BOTHER WITH TP. HOOK UP A BIDET FOR THE DAY. OR USE WET WIPES EVER SO GENTLY.
poindxtrwv@reddit (OP)
Two and a half packages of wipes, at the ready.
Electrical-Pie-8192@reddit
Get some witch hazel to put on the wipes. Also just pat clean
KittyWrongTime@reddit
Even with wipes I recommend Vaseline or diaper rash cream around your bhole before pooping and after cleaning to avoid irritation.
PlanetaryPickleParty@reddit
Installed the bidet a few weeks ago in preparation for not 1 but 2 glorious nights of laxatives.
DirtyBirdDawg@reddit
I had mine a few weeks ago. The prep itself was far from fun, but I got some good news and I don't have to do this for another ten years!
poindxtrwv@reddit (OP)
The prep is far worse than the procedure.
Electrical-Pie-8192@reddit
I went no sedation and even that was far better than drinking the prep
nakedcellist@reddit
For me waiting for the results was the most anxiety inducing
Goose80@reddit
Honestly, the prep and the bathroom results weren’t as bad as going like 36-40 hours without food. That part is what really sucked. Broth and jello can only do so much towards hunger.
OppositeRun6503@reddit
Back in 20 I had a nasty H pylori infection resulting in an ulcer which made it impossible to keep anything down so for a good six months or so broth and jello, along with almond milk was the only thing I could safely eat.
DirtyBirdDawg@reddit
So true. When I got mine done, I woke up groggy and it was already over.
OppositeRun6503@reddit
It took me nearly 24 hours for the sedation to fully wear off.
nucl3ar0ne@reddit
I drove home, don't tell them!
OppositeRun6503@reddit
Unfortunately I have to do it every 5 years.
oldmamallama@reddit
I’m also on the 5 year plan and I’m fine with that. Prep isn’t fun but it’s better than cancer. And the nap is outstanding.
juju0010@reddit
Every other year, at least, for me. Sometimes every year.
-flaneur-@reddit
Eat less today. Will make things go smoother (instead of having a large 'last meal').
Electrical-Pie-8192@reddit
Agree
thejunkmanadv@reddit
https://i.redd.it/21m3gesb7ozf1.gif
armorham@reddit
Aka “The Great Evacuation”.
DaringMoth@reddit
For me it's a different kind of juice but the exact same broth I just bought.
ahabneck@reddit
It's not that bad, sort of hilarious actually.
Way better than butt cancer
m0j0r0lla@reddit
Jello chicken laxative shots?
Waaterfight@reddit
WarhammerRyan@reddit
tgerz@reddit
Is it New Year's already?!
poindxtrwv@reddit (OP)
Busted.
Dabnician@reddit
I keep hitting pause but this movie keeps playing and i dont like where its going.
theOnlyDaive@reddit
WTAF?
Emotional_Bonus_934@reddit
Colonoscopy prep
Throwaway_inSC_79@reddit
Superdad75@reddit
This too will pass...
playtheukulele@reddit
I suggest you make more jello than that or you may get desperately hungry. Have fun!
poindxtrwv@reddit (OP)
I'm figuring that out real quick.
Such_Victory4589@reddit
I'm going to make a wild guess based on age plus laxatives
colonoscopy prep, followed by to glorious sound of trapped air being released following said procedure.
and yes, farts are funny. colonoscopy farts more so 💨💨💨💨💨
guyako@reddit
But DO NOT TRUST THOSE FARTS. Sit on the toilet.
DeadRoseYepReally@reddit
Omg. I feel for the staff that work in the recovery area. We have colon cancer in my family and I can’t believe I just asked for a colonoscopy.
Such_Victory4589@reddit
Why? Most of them want you to fart it out and some even laugh.
My understanding is that they don't smell, they're just obnoxiously loud and long.
DeadRoseYepReally@reddit
Ok so it’s like bring my bass with me to recover. Nice!
nhorning@reddit
Had mine last month. Best nap ever.
dewpacs@reddit
put a towel on the car seat before you go to the hospital
BirdBrain_99@reddit
Should anal discharge be expected?
winnower8@reddit
If you use the prep liquid in the time frame they suggest and follow the diet restrictions (clear liquids) then you’ll shit so often that you’ll eventually shit clear. They will be no fecal mater in your colon. You’ll have to keep shitting and you’ll need to shit just before the procedure, but it will be clear. After the procedure it will wear off some. The procedure is feel a cool sensation in your arm. Then wake up. That’s it.
pigspoon874@reddit
Thank you.
73-68-70-78-62-73-73@reddit
When they gave me the prep, it was basically a gallon jug of laxative. I was to drink half of it the night before, and half of it the morning of. They gave me a specific cut off time to finish it. I followed their schedule, and actually started a little earlier than they said.
The first night there was a LOT of uncertainty. I spent a good two hours on the toilet. When I thought it was safe to get up, I learned that situation was temporary. If you get up, and you have the slightest urge to go, do not wait. Do not think that this is a normal poop that you can hold in. The urgency will be sudden, amplified, and dire. When the urge comes, make haste.
At any rate, I started a little early the following morning, because I was familiar with how long it would take to become whole again after the last drink. The result was that I didn't have to make again before the procedure. Pay attention to how your body reacts the night before.
A friend of mine went in a diaper. She assured me that I would shit myself on the way there, because she did. She was wrong. If anyone tells you that no one drinks the whole prep, prove them wrong. Drink it all.
OppositeRun6503@reddit
Don't get me started....after my most recent "procedure" I was farting my ass off in the recovery area.
SadLinks@reddit
It's the doctor's air, they can't just let you leave with it.
UnluckyCardiologist9@reddit
They let me leave. Omg i had to hold it in cause my neighbor was giving me a ride.
73-68-70-78-62-73-73@reddit
Fuck your neighbor. This is your time.
OppositeRun6503@reddit
Perhaps we should earn a finders fee for renting out our asses as a form of temporary storage? That'd make all of the prep misery worth the effort LOL!!!
SimpleVegetable5715@reddit
I was either still doped up or my GI was good at removing the gas. I don’t remember that part.
Humble_Diner32@reddit
They are funny until they become Sharts. Then they’re only funny to everyone else but the Sharter. Speaking from experience.
sunshineparadox_@reddit
Right before the procedure, I remember thinking how I can fart all I want because I’ll be unconscious.
cosp85classic@reddit
It's worth it. Patrick Bozeman was just outside of being a Xennial so we have a close example of why we need to do it.
And if you do it right and adjust your diet for 4 or 5 days before the procedure it goes pretty well the night before.
Uncles_Lotus_Tile@reddit
noswimming1978@reddit
Colonoscopy, baby!
Luder714@reddit
Thanksgiving 2025!
Notaspyipromise00@reddit
Super mega colon blow?
fatherdoodle@reddit
It’s not the worst. I’ve been doing them since I was 24
Hairy_Ad4969@reddit
Did mine earlier this year. I used chicken stock and added a little roasted garlic better than bouillon. Just sipped on that out of a coffee mug all day long, it made it less unpleasant.
sky0175@reddit
username__0000@reddit
I went through two containers of pho broth. lol it was the only thing that kinda felt like food.
Then I totally forgot popsicles and honey were ok to eat and I had bought a bunch (thanks adhd) specifically for that day.
Enjoy the drugs though. On the way home I told my boyfriend that I understand why those rich lady’s with shitty husbands take pills all day because I care about absolutely nothing right now. lol I never felt so chill, but I wouldn’t be able to deal with that daily.
Content_Talk_6581@reddit
I get to do that next week!! Yay!!
Used-Bodybuilder4129@reddit
Good lick on your colonoscopy… I would not drink the pineapple juice, it might have pulp.
MagicCarnival39@reddit
You start the turkey brine for Thanksgiving
MossGobbo@reddit
Colon blow. May the gods have mercy upon your anus.
vicariousgluten@reddit
This is something that’s so different between jurisdictions. In the UK you get two sachets to mix with water. The first is mango and the second is fruit and that’s it. No broth or anything else needed.
BuildStrong79@reddit
Here this is the day before the cleanout drink
vicariousgluten@reddit
We don’t get given instructions to do that. Just the clear out.
Coldovia@reddit
Prep for the greatest nap you’ll ever have, trust me on that one
poindxtrwv@reddit (OP)
Yes indeed. This will be my 8th or 9th one since 2015.
david_growie@reddit
Do you have a punch card or something? 10th free?
natethegreek@reddit
high risk people have them every other year... both my grandfathers had colon cancer under 35, found out we have a genetic disease, Lynch syndrome.
lamorak2000@reddit
By the Goddess, I'm glad my doctors (two separate ones) decided I was low-risk enough to just get away with a stool sample screening...
poindxtrwv@reddit (OP)
I had a right hemicolectomy at 35. Thankfully it was caught super early. I've been getting checked every year because they keep finding polyps. I had the generic testing done and am not a carrier.
OppositeRun6503@reddit
Had the same procedure back in October of 22 myself and developed post op complications, namely an abdominal abscess which kept me in the hospital for close to a month.
poindxtrwv@reddit (OP)
Damn, I'm sorry to hear that. Did the stitching come apart or something?
My colon shut down around two weeks later for about a week or so. I couldn't go at all. I knew I needed to eat and would try to, but then just lose interest after a few bites. I'd then eventually throw it back up and then that turned to bile coming up. I know it's cliche, but I drank some prune juice, was up all night in Hell, and right as rain after that. Organic, really pulpy stuff.
OppositeRun6503@reddit
Fortunately since my procedure was laparascopic I didn't have any issues with the stitches. I did however have a bit of nausea and vomiting and needed a JP drain inserted though.
juju0010@reddit
Can confirm. I have UC and get them every other year. On like number twelve at this point.
BrianLefevre5@reddit
I have diverticulitis and had colon cancer, so I also get them every other year. I am always forced to drink a gallon of GoLytely though; would much rather take that miralax and tablet concoction.
The propofol nap is very nice though.
zeravlaf478@reddit
It’s a frequent farters club membership.
tekanet@reddit
o7
Queasy-Meeting-5388@reddit
Diverticulitis? That’s what keeps me coming back.
dreamyduskywing@reddit
Yeah, if it weren’t for the prep, then I’d look forward to it.
fermentedradical@reddit
High grade fentanyl properly administered
oldmamallama@reddit
Can confirm, outstanding nap. Propofol is 10/10.
kellyk311@reddit
Had my first this year and never been sedated before. 10/10 indeed! Didn't sleep a wink the night before due to prep, went in exhausted, woke up from 30 min nap feeling like I had a truly refreshing full night's sleep!
Mostly_Armless42@reddit
I've had three Colonoscopies at 45yo - Crohn's is my excuse - anyway two of them they knocked me out, but the third time was with fentanyl. I hated it. I was mostly asleep, but super groggy and the whole day I was out of it and groggy. I do not recommend it.
It turns out that one hospital uses fentanyl and the surgical center uses whatever knocks me out completely. I'm definitely not going back to the hospital.
LionsAndLonghorns@reddit
If it wasn’t for the prep, I’d sign up for an annual
Fanabala3@reddit
Agreed on that one.
BuildStrong79@reddit
I’m so well rested after mine yesterday I could actually concentrate at work
t1r4misu@reddit
Diarrhoea
zeravlaf478@reddit
Yeah this’ll be me in a couple weeks. Woo.
capthazelwoodsflask@reddit
The world's worst aspic? At least put some carrots and hot dogs in it.
LocalInactivist@reddit
Colonoscopy prep? Dude, buy some adult diapers. It’s humiliating but it will save you so much laundry. Also, arrange to have a meal ready for you as soon as you get home. You’ll be starved and exhausted but won’t want to go to a restaurant.
BalrogRuthenburg11@reddit
MacGyver could use those ingredients to make an ICBM (intercontinental bowel movement).
cronokun@reddit
Oh god good luck. I just had mine last week. The prep was worse than the actual procedure by far. The worst past wasn’t even the diarrhea (not a sentence I thought I’d ever type). The worst part was the disgusting magnesium citrate and the prescription laxative stuff. Yuck. 🤢
Withnail_I_am_I_am@reddit
Boy about to do anal for the first time...this is just another day for an unwed born again Christian girl in red state suburbia.
autricia@reddit
I'm getting one in January, though I had one before and used that big jug of horribleness. I kept drinking and suffering from it long after I had to, I just didn't know when it was okay to stop.
So, this next time I'm not using that stuff, I'll be using something like this. It's all unpleasant in general, but that jug of Golytely is torture. Go "lightly" my ass... literally.
metalchick0325@reddit
Not looking forward to this. I'll be doing this at the beginning of next year. I'll be 45 on Christmas Eve, so I'm not gonna try to deal with this shit (pun intended) during the chaos of the holidays
MarxReadsRushdie@reddit
Did mine in June. Every told me how absolutely terrible it was going to be--and I'm very glad they did. It was nowhere near as bad as described. I had a book on standby and my phone.
You got this.
Food-Blister-1056@reddit
I just have one thing to say “Cologuard”. Poop 💩 in box it’s way less trouble….
Lock_Down_Charlie@reddit
"...paging Dr. Wideknuckle..."
SeasonOpening1119@reddit
Just when you think the laxatives aren’t kicking in- they do! In some way I enjoyed the prep because it gave me alone time from my family. Haha!
oneoftheluckyones530@reddit
I just had mine on Monday. The sedative sleep was nice. Other than that, I could do without.
WhatTheCluck802@reddit
I have one coming up too. Good times. 🫠
Tuffwith2Fs@reddit
Godspeed soldier
pnw_rider@reddit
I’m up on 11/17, turned 45 this week. Godspeed!
Other_Cricket_453@reddit
Same day as mine, lol
Pharmere@reddit
Oh my! Me too! I start liquid diet tomorrow and have to work until 8pm! Going to be up all night on the toilet
poindxtrwv@reddit (OP)
Thankfully, I'm able to work from home tomorrow. Even if I didn't, I'm fortunate enough to have a bathroom built into my office... that I share with five other people.
Pharmere@reddit
I’m supposed to be on call tomorrow night but I told them they might want to find someone else! I will look like Harry on Dumb and Dumber 🤣
poindxtrwv@reddit (OP)
I have two web meetings to sit through after I start my prep at noon.
PlanetaryPickleParty@reddit
I hope you don't need to actually participate in those meetings.
carvethegnar@reddit
Weigh yourself before you start your fast / cleanse and then right again before you go to the dr. Turns out I’m 3.5% full of shit on any given day.
Upbeat_Tear3549@reddit
I prefer the non-gentle variants of laxatives.
princemark@reddit
Am I the only one who's just passing on the colonoscopy? I'm ok with dying.
Sparkle8022@reddit
Before I was in my 40s I would have been confused by this picture.
Enxer@reddit
I'm doing this now. My butt has puked so much and I myself feel nauseous.
Enxer@reddit
Turns out the nausea was actually heart burn from drinking Gatorade. Like a lot of burning for an hour. Use water instead or water down the Gatorade a lot for the prep drink.
icberg7@reddit
Do yourself a favor and get some sanitary wipes. And/or a handheld sprayer (bidet attachment).
Your rear end will thank you (or, at the very least, hate you a lot less).
GreenApples8710@reddit
S-tier ad placement.
Jermcutsiron@reddit
Biolife Plasma for me.
GreenApples8710@reddit
That may be the best, yet.
OppositeRun6503@reddit
I'm seeing a red lobster 🦞 advertisement on my end LOL!!
FI-Engineer@reddit
Chipotle ad…
Jean_Paul_Fartre_@reddit
Be strong friend. You can do this.
Legitimate-Special36@reddit
Umm, your annual week-long camping trip on your bathroom floor?
GangstaRIB@reddit
I’m way more scared of this part than I am of the butt camera. Best of luck!
SQL215@reddit
I miss the days when Juicy Juice came in a large can and you’d have to punch a hole on each side.
zerombr@reddit
you'll be fine, if you can fast even longer than recommended, its going to go easy. using a straw to drink it will help.
left-of-the-jokers@reddit
The night of 1000 waterfalls?
phydaux4242@reddit
Hope you had a happy 50th birthday
pinchenombre@reddit
The best nap of your life. Enjoy.
Nancy-Drew-Who@reddit
Have fun peeing out of your butt!
missyannie1007@reddit
Good luck!! They are so important. And it will be the best nap.
I was so glad to have mine. It was in June. It was my 2nd one. I had one three years ago, and they found polyps. So I came back earlier. A tumor was found this time. I am okay. I had surgery, and it was removed. No chemo is needed.
sqquuee@reddit
Quickest way too loose 10lba
bnjthyr@reddit
Godspeed
Braveheart00@reddit
💩🏂
imagine-meatloaf@reddit
Anal play
laidbacklenny@reddit
Preparations for poopapalooza
Brave-Silver8736@reddit
Oh snap! I had to start this today! You just reminded me it's time to down that half a bottle of whatever with a boatload of water.
Thanks!
justinmackey84@reddit
😳 I didn’t realize we were that close 😭
jstacy_wyldchyld337@reddit
Had my first in August and, aside from that nasty substance they make you drink a gallon of, it went great. Next time, I'm asking for the pills instead
AnythingButWhiskey@reddit
Oh…. shit.
neocondiment@reddit
The prep is the hardest part but good on you, friend!
BagCalm@reddit
Ouch my butholes
Longjumping_Ad_4431@reddit
Ohhh boy. The prep is pretty miserable, but they give you propofil to knock you out for it and you wake up feeling Kate Moss thin. Get witch hazel ass wipes and plenty of prep h.
HotDogPantsX@reddit
Man y’all prep for Turkey Day early! Start that brine!
Psycosteve10mm@reddit
Dude, you are about to be bore scoped.
NotARealBuckeye@reddit
Good decision. I have my first colonoscopy at 49 and they found a polyp that turned out cancerous, my doc said it had likely been growing for 10 years. I had a partial resection and have been cancer free ever since.
obiwanknudson@reddit
No way. Me too!!
No_Personality421@reddit
Godspeed fellow Xennial, from a Xennial who performs Colonoscopies for a living!
Dry_Butterfly6252@reddit
I just had one done. I woke feeling like I was about to spray shit everywhere. Apparently I told the nurse, “hey look, you’re really pretty and I really respect you. I feel like I’m about to shotgun shit so you may want to move” She then told me I just had to fart, then I just let em rip beyblades.
littlekatie3@reddit
You got this
riotstopper@reddit
Got to love my timeline.
PorkchopXman@reddit
Drug test coming up?
stlredbird@reddit
It’s the prep that sucks. I puked up my entire 4th liter.
Enge712@reddit
Uhhhh that’s what I am doing today. Except I have pills I don’t take til this evening and in the morning.
My only real concern is that my mother is giving me a ride home and I hope I don’t say some offensive crap while I’m still loopy
Con_re_sann@reddit
Post-op loopyness only lasts a few minutes after the procedure. By the time you’re being wheeled out to the car, you’ll be fully conscious. I’ve had a colonoscopy, endoscopy, and right colectomy/cholecystectomy surgery, 3 procedures within 3 months.
oldmamallama@reddit
Loopiness only lasts a few minutes but knowing you proposed to your anesthesiologist in front of your husband lasts forever. He’ll probably chisel it on my tombstone. 😂
Con_re_sann@reddit
Reminds me of the midlife crisis scene in City Slickers: In your 80’s, you’ll have a massive stroke, and you’ll end up babbling to some Jamaican nurse who your wife can’t stand and you call “Momma”. Any questions?
OppositeRun6503@reddit
I underwent a laparascopic right hemicolectomy back in October of 22,ironically it happened 3 years to the day of my most recent colonoscopy.
Hungry_Night9801@reddit
Several years ago I was coming off of the propofol in the recovery room and hitting on my nurse. She was like "I'm a grandma!" Good looking grandma indeed.
mindpivot@reddit
I was all drugged up and asked my wife if maybe it was her cooking giving me stomach issues
Years later I still hear about it. And to this day I keep my trap shut until the sedation wears off
Leia1979@reddit
If you’re getting propofol, you’ll hopefully only feel a little tired afterwards but otherwise normal. I was pleasantly surprised after horrible experiences with other kinds of anesthesia.
augustwest30@reddit
Colonoscopy time! I just had mine last week.
Disp0sable_Her0@reddit
SJSsarah@reddit
Yellow….yellow…. Yellow….
Solo4114@reddit
Fingers crossed for ya that nothing is seen and you don't have to go back for a decade.
bonbonjovii@reddit
PhloxOfSeagulls@reddit
I have Crohn's (also a Xennial), so I knew right away what this was, unfortunately.
akela9@reddit
OMG, my husband, too. Also tomorrow.
You poor bastards.
(I know it's not impossible, but it sure as hell doesn't look like any kind of fun.)
Hope time passes quickly.
GiftCommercial142@reddit
F that!!!
Key-Permission-8461@reddit
Im a December baby so I get to set myself up for a nice after the holidays clean out. 😆
Late-External3249@reddit
Godspeed to you!
MrRoastedbeef@reddit
Just remember....never trust it is just a fart for a few days afterwards.
theelifeofbrian@reddit
I had my inspection on Monday. Sunday night on the second round of suprep, I gave up on being functional for the evening. I sat at the bottom of the stairs and told my wife to handle the kids. I was spent.
But reporting back nothing remarkable in the pipes!
NightmareBunnie@reddit
Me next week. Cheers 😂
FancyThought7696@reddit
Good luck. I'll be getting probed in a few weeks.
besleysfw@reddit
Make sure you take some Gas X, it’ll be a bit more pleasant without the farts from hell.
Awkward-Tie-3775@reddit
Happy pooping 💩
virstultus@reddit
Oh yeah, it's about to get LIT (up inside your colon)!
q120@reddit
The prep isn’t even that bad. I mean it isn’t the most fun you’ll ever have, but it is far from the worst thing ever.
Procedure itself is a nice nap
ChalkDoxie@reddit
Congrats on turning 45!!
Sub_Zero_Fks_Given@reddit
Looks like the gates of you butthole are about to be opened.
And you're gonna have a colonoscopy too!
suntaug@reddit
I started today. RIP my toilet
Way_2_Go_Donny@reddit
And I peed out my butt.
OppositeRun6503@reddit
After my right hemicolectomy all I do is shoot out chocolate milk....although I've recently had a streak of shooting solids which unfortunately came to an end this morning.
poindxtrwv@reddit (OP)
I had the same procedure. I'm usually solid in the morning but in the afternoon it's usually loose.
ShakespearianShadows@reddit
poindxtrwv@reddit (OP)
WreckitRuby@reddit
Switchbladekitten@reddit
RushBubbly6955@reddit
Sea_Ganache620@reddit
Liftoff in 5, 4, 3, 2, …..
coffee_robot_horse@reddit
Well I don't see any products containing nuts, so are you just late to beginning November?
Throw-away17465@reddit
Looks like the diet after a gastric bypass, but probably colonoscopy
lyricweaver@reddit
Ugggh. As someone who’s had many of these done (starting at 30), I feel you.
On the plus side, that nap. You’ll love it.
Hope it all goes smoothly 😉
mister_burns1@reddit
Deep pegging session?
Enjoy!
XxFezzgigxX@reddit
Hey, at least they didn’t make you drink that Golitely crap.
Pirates3178@reddit
Looks like the start of a shitty weekend 😂 It’s honestly something that’s been on my radar lately
Reeko_Htown@reddit
Pineapple party?
poindxtrwv@reddit (OP)
I wasn't thinking when I bought the Jello. I was just looking for out-of-the-norm flavors. Everything premade is either red or sugar free.
nucl3ar0ne@reddit
I got pineapple as well, it was better than I thought it would be.
Coco_Cokie_Cookie@reddit
Midlife cleanse
nucl3ar0ne@reddit
Guess who is doing that today for their procedure tomorrow?
kid_entropy@reddit
I was so hungry after my first colonoscopy that I gave myself a gallbladder attack!
OppositeRun6503@reddit
I swear after my recent procedure never before did an egg, hash browns and bacon meal at ihop taste so good.
FigSpecific6210@reddit
Rooter in the tooter?
OppositeRun6503@reddit
LMAO!!!
ConspiracyParadox@reddit
Colonoscopy, or anal sex. Either way you're getting tomorrow night.
ThanksALotBud@reddit
I went for my physical 3 weks ago.
My doctor - you'll be 45 in 2 years
Me - yeah?
Doctor - (silence)
Me - (confusion on what's that has to do with today physical)
Doctor - just letting you know so you're not surprised
Me - surprised about wha.......... oh damn.
eggs_erroneous@reddit
I wish you and your asshole good luck for tomorrow, sir!
OppositeRun6503@reddit
Ohh what fun!!
I did mine back on the 22nd and while I'm pleased to report that they only found one polyp this time the bowel prep was god awful.
I swear it tasted like I drank two glasses of salt water and diluting it with white grape juice didn't help one bit.
Cursethesemetalhanz@reddit
Party at P Diddys ?
MrMurderthumbz@reddit
Take this fucking up vote hahahahahaha
SilverIsFreedom@reddit
No, but there will be butt stuff.
Purring4Krodos@reddit
I yearn for this level of unconsciousness monitored by medical professionals.
I didn't mind my hysterectomy so much. My insides felt weird asf for a while, but MY GOD THAT KNOCK OUT SLEEP WAS WORTH IT.
Adrasteia-One@reddit
Yeah, fun times. It will be fine, though. One big mistake I made is that I combined chicken broth with the laxative solution. I didn't realize the solution is on the super sweet side. I do not recommend, hehe!
Pankosmanko@reddit
If you don’t have a bidet, please buy some wet wipes. You’re going to shit like 25 times and wiping with TP over and over will hurt
pncoecomm@reddit
I've been told that the pills is the way to go. Drinking that thing is horrible
HandaZuke@reddit
In all seriousness, i hope all goes well. My gastro nurses friend said (based on the findings of my colonoscopy) if had waited until the recommended age i would likely be dealing with colorectal cancer today
Glittering_Tea5502@reddit
Sounds like a crappy day.
theshub@reddit
Get a bidet. Trust me.
poindxtrwv@reddit (OP)
We've gone through two of them but both started leaking after a month. I've wondered if I opened the water valve too much and the pressure was too high but I've never felt like risking another one just to try that out. I do love a bidet.
mtmtnmike@reddit
Remember, dab don’t wipe.
Or bidet.
frawgster@reddit
“Gentle”
Pssh. Sorry OP. I’m due for mine next month. 🙁
Chief_Beef_ATL@reddit
Mine is tomorrow too!! But-stuff buddies!!
Did you get any temp tattoos? I’m putting a dump truck on one cheek and a cement mixer in the other.
Comfortable-Sky-9569@reddit
Oh joy! Good luck! I went thru it 3 years ago. The procedure isn’t a problem, you go to sleep.
RettaLuna@reddit
Have you consulted Oscar Nuñez about what you should expect in terms of sensation, or to make this more pleasurable for your doctor?
Altruistic_War_2483@reddit
Oof
KeyEcho5594@reddit
You need far more liquid...
tommy0guns@reddit
Love is Blind
tracefact@reddit
I also thought of chicken smoothies.
BigSquiby@reddit
see if you can get the script for the stuff that clears you out. it works better...maybe too well...
iheartpyrex@reddit
Good job with not getting sugary items! You’ll be fine.
brakeb@reddit
some really unfortunate co-workers eating a nasty aspic?
WendyWilliamsFart@reddit
My gastroenterologist was soo dreamy, wish I could’ve enjoyed our intimacy together without sedation
WindTall5566@reddit
throwawayhbgtop81@reddit
Dumper Inspection!
juniper3411@reddit
Good old colonoscopy prep lol. Fun stuff.
usernames_suck_ok@reddit
Shit Brands Day. Shit...Brands.
Knight_thrasher@reddit
Your soooo lucky
poindxtrwv@reddit (OP)
Electronic-Ride-564@reddit
Thanksgiving?
Smudge_Cell@reddit
Gwyneth Paltrow's visit?