ULPT: Advice Needed! I have aggressive and persistent solicitors casing my neighborhood. Is there anything I can do to make them as uncomfortable as possible?
Posted by Wild-Vast-2559@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 103 comments
Context: I have these Verizon solicitors that have been knocking on doors from 9 AM to 9 PM. According to my neighbors, if you tell them you’re not interested, they’ll leave. BUT they’ll continue to walk around the neighborhood and harass other neighbors that don’t have the courage to say no. They’re walking around well past dark. You can imagine my discomfort when two strangers approach my door as I’m winding down for bed. They’ve come up to multiple houses throughout and are bugging my poor old neighbors that don’t have the heart to tell them to fuck off. They’re walking in the middle of the street, walking through lawns, and making everyone uncomfortable.
Is there anything I can do to make them want to leave the neighborhood? A lot of my neighbors are old and don’t speak English as a first language, and I feel they need someone to stand up for them.
Last_Sherbert_9848@reddit
Answer the door naked.
justmedownsouth@reddit
I told them we are moving out of state. The next day, my neighbor calls me, and asks "are y'all moving"? Haha. They stayed at her house for 3 hours - she couldn't get rid of them. Don't let them in!!
Bongcopter_@reddit
Answer naked, Invite them in
Works wonder for jehova witness
overkill@reddit
The real ULPT is to invite the JW inside and be nice and polite to them.
They are not sent out knocking door to door to try and get concerts, they are being sent out by the elders (or whatever they are called) to go door to door and be met with hostility and anger, so that when they return to the church they can be told everyone else in the world is evil and nasty and only the church loves them.
It is a method of keeping them in the cult.
So be nice to them and it goes a little way to deprogramming them.
katzohki@reddit
Invite the Verizon guys in, invite the JWs in, put them in a ring and let them Duke it out
Geminierin@reddit
Bless your heart. As a JW for the first 23 years of my life I found everything you said to be funny nonsense. They most definitely are not doing it to have a “safe haven” to run back to. They absolutely 100% believe that they must share the Bible with as many people as they can to save as many lives as possible. Not what I believe now, but I still respect their conviction. Being nice will NOT deprogram them; they’ll take your kindness as a sign of interest and motivate them to visit you more🤣
MOTIVATE_ME_23@reddit
Being "persecuted" by non-members is a feature, not a bug.
The BITE model is an extensive list of indoctrination techniques that goes well beyond manufacturing a "persecution complex."
No-Archer-5034@reddit
That’s interesting. How do you know this? Or is it a theory?
AssociationFit3009@reddit
I know with mormons they send them in pairs to snitch on each other. One summer I befriended a pair of missionaries. I got one to have a beer and the next time they came around that kid was gone and he had a new partner.
carpetwalls4@reddit
A neighbor in my apartment building in college had them fixing stuff for her 🤣
AssociationFit3009@reddit
Thats a good idea. They were probably happy to have something to do. Wish id had some missionaries the other day it would have saved me a task rabbit.
When I was younger and more of an atheist I had missionaries show up when I got an airbnb in rural Massachusetts. I decided to answer the door in my boxers. It ended up being the most attractive woman Ive ever seen in my life with her grandfather. I was super embarrassed but it didnt phase them in the slightest. They just kept trying to talk while I tried to slink away in shame. Absolutely backfired.
No-Neighborhood-7354@reddit
Or just tell then that your an Ex JW. They are not allowed to be around or talk to former members. They will leave you alone for good.
AssDimple@reddit
Nice try Jehovah's witness.
Bongcopter_@reddit
My dad used to do this, had them come in and explain EVERYTHING, at least 2 hours, so they wouldn’t bother other neighbours. After a few years they understood the game and just stopped coming to our house
greyshem@reddit
That's... actually ethical. But also fun and subversive.
RarelyRecommended@reddit
Mormons too.
DisenchantedByrd@reddit
When I was growing up (in Australia) we used to hose the god-botherers. It was sort of a tradition.
403Olds@reddit
Water hose?
DisenchantedByrd@reddit
Ummm, yes. Any other type of hose?
birdpix@reddit
Remote control or motion sensitive sprinklers.
AdministrationWise56@reddit
I was going to suggest naked and masturbatory but wasn't sure how far along the unethical spectrum you wanted to go
suktupbutterkup@reddit
attack rooster
Cold-Lynx575@reddit
Well if they stink people will naturally not want them around.
I say LIQUID ASS for the win.
LuementalQueen@reddit
Pay some teens with water pistols.
mmmmmarty@reddit
Fox piss. From your local hunting supplies dealer.
LordBiscuits@reddit
I would go for a 7 to 3 shit to piss ratio, for optimum spraying consistency...
LuementalQueen@reddit
One of my ex's fathers answered the door naked speaking another language.
Another time he shot the people who wouldn't leave. With wheat. To be fair, he did tell them he'd do it. Three times.
I don't recommend the latter. The former might work.
An Aussie comedian once said he got rid of JWs by staring them dead in the eye and saying he'd sacrifice their children to Satan. Might work for these guys if you walk up to them and do it. Get a few neighbours in on it.
And pay some teenagers to shoot them with a water pistol filled with tuna juice.
FuckdaFireDepartment@reddit
Lead them inside your home and get naked in front of them mid conversation. Lock the door so they can’t leave
MET1@reddit
Ask them if anyone knows where they are, because that can change the direction of the 'meeting'.
cbelt3@reddit
No solicitation signs. When they knock on the door, have their door to door permits cancelled.
MET1@reddit
Not all jurisdictions require door to door permits.
-0-O-O-O-0-@reddit
Where do you live that this works?
cbelt3@reddit
A town that requires door to door sales to be registered. And bonded.
-0-O-O-O-0-@reddit
Nice job town council! You get my vote!
sirspacebill@reddit
Your town probably does, I live in Illinois and work for a reputable company that has canvassers and my job was to finf out each city's rules and regulations regarding solicitation so we were following the rules- at least here every town and city have the same basic ordinances regarding solicitors, such as respect no solicitors signs and leave when told to, and they usually list the hours and days allowed and not allowed. You can also call your local city clerk and they will almost always know these as well or at least are able to look them up. Easiest way is to Google either "townname city code" or "townname ordinances" will get you to a pdf usually or a directory where you can search for the solicitors/canvassers/peddlers section (they're usually lumped together because generally they're considered the same)
kill4b@reddit
Start following them. Wear a dark hoodie and face covering. Video them and their car. Ask them if they can help you with your router in your basement. You get the gist.
banmeharderdaddy42@reddit
Bear mace
BildoBaggens@reddit
Unethical? Find their vehicle and sabotage it.
Keep doing it until they realize that neighborhood is off limits.
mjdiete1@reddit
Yell "go away!"
UnsafeAtEverySpeed@reddit
Tell the Verizon people that you will Listen to their sales pitch IF they first listen to your presentation about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! Make them stand at the front door. Don’t let them in even if they agree. Ask them to wait while you get your bible. Close and lock the door. Disappear into the house and call the cops. Tell the cops you felt threatened by the person or persons at your front door. From the back of the house yell at the Verizon people that you are coming. Keep them at the front door until the cops arrive. Problem solved.
luckygirl54@reddit
Get some fake poop and put it on your doorstep.
Negative_Ad_9368@reddit
Follow them around with a sign that says “pedophiles posing as _____ salesman.” Just casually stand behind them as they stop at each house.
DatabaseGangsta@reddit
I got a Wyze camera for my front porch - I think it was about $40. Anyway, it includes a siren, which I set off anytime someone I don’t know comes to the door. It’s surprisingly effective, and often funny.
Whosez@reddit
Love it.
nodray@reddit
Live alligators, the rarer the better. Now it is a Endangered Species zone and can't be altered. So no space for solicitation
UnbelievableDingo@reddit
Call the MF police
Whosez@reddit
I like this one. Many of the other answers assume these jamokes are coming to OP's door - he wants them out of the neighborhood entirely.
Krynja@reddit
Report "two suspicious people walking the neighborhood and going into/through people's yards."
Puceeffoc@reddit
"They've got backpacks and I can't say for sure what I saw, might be tools of some sort. It didn't seem like they had weapons but I only saw what appeared to be some type of tool."
tighterlikethat@reddit
Don't forget to add "looking in car windows" and "trying doorknobs".
ltcftp@reddit
Also, get one or two other neighbors to call in as well. Police will respond faster if they get multiple calls
sirspacebill@reddit
Look up your towns ordinance or city code regarding solicitors. If theyre soliciting during illegal hours, refusing to leave when told no, bothering people with no solicitors signs, or they don't have a permit to be soliciting in your town, you can call the cops. If they aren't doing any of those things, they aren't doing anything illegal and there's nothing you can do about it other than telling them to buzz off. Get yourself a no solicitors sign that's in compliance with city code and when they knock on your door call the cops. Reach out to other homeowners that you think would want the same and suggest the same. If they don't, then you can only assume they don't care about it as much as you do
itcouldbeworsemydude@reddit
I absolutely hear you and that's great advice, but this is ulpt and the answer here is piss disc, ig? What I'm trying to say is, even if they are technically doing nothing illegal, there should be other technically not ilegal things op and the neighbors could do about it to scare them away?
sirspacebill@reddit
Lots of things ppl have been suggested have been illegal to be fair, the only actual legal thing you can do that will scare a solicitor away is threaten their income aka getting ticketed or jailed by the police. Or a fence with a beware of dog sign with a big dog behind it
Iwentforalongwalk@reddit
Your city might have solicitation rules. Threaten to call the police if they don't leave.
Curious_medium@reddit
Invite them in and make them do chores- they’ll think they’re getting a sale, so they’ll do it.
itcouldbeworsemydude@reddit
Isn't that for mormons?
BrotherNatureNOLA@reddit
Tell them that you want a phone, but that you deserve it for free because their Wi-Fi is stealing your dreams.
Polengoldur@reddit
answer the door with your phone already recording.
CHEDDERFROMTHEBLOCK2@reddit
man they are hitting up every suburb across america. Same thing, knocking like they're SWAT. Not taking no go away for a answer and out late. They all look fresh out of prison too.
Kathucka@reddit
Unethical, you say? Simple!
Grab the garden hose and soak them. They’ll leave because you can’t sell stuff when you are dripping wet. Done!
caatabatic@reddit
same issue, I put up very legal sounding signs, reduced the amount but they still show up. I am in texas so I can answer my front door in my underwear with a gun in a holstered belt and tactical helmet while holding a toilet plunger. " I want to talk to you about our lord SLAANESH!!!"
-0-O-O-O-0-@reddit
Mask up and mace them in the face.
LordBiscuits@reddit
Good old Eau De Pepper
LostAnxiety3229@reddit
Ask them in to talk about The Lord. And then slowly reveal that your lord is Satan. Cthulhu works, too. The Christians don't come around my door anymore.
WhoskeyTangoFoxtrot@reddit
Flying Spaghetti Monster..?
SubstantialPressure3@reddit
All those people are being dropped off and picked up in the neighborhood by another company. They probably have quotas to meet.
Get a picture of the license plate of the vehicle that's dropping off these people and forcing them to wander the neighborhood all day, and late at night.
It's not Verizon dropping them off. Email Verizon and complain about it. They are putting those people in a very bad situation, safety wise. The fact that they are aggressive means that they are desperate.
Tell them that this is making you so angry that you're about to start telling people to never use Verizon bc this seems like forced labor, and you're going to report it to the news.
It's not the solicitors you have to make uncomfortable. It's the company paying the solicitors by commission only.
speakeasy_slim@reddit
Motion detector sprinklers
JJHall_ID@reddit
Put up "No Soliciting" signs on your house, and have your neighbors do the same. A lot of areas have rules that door-to-door salesmen need to follow. In my city they have to have a permit, which requires a background check and them agreeing to follow all laws around the practice, including respecting no soliciting signs. If they don't have a permit and knock on a door, it is a warning about the permit and law the first time, $100 the second time, and subsequent times are more fines and misdemeanor charges. If they have the permit, it skips the warnings and goes right to the fines and charges after that. Once you have a sign in place, call the police non-emergency line (or whatever your area rules are) each and every time.
For unethical, the best thing to do is waste their time. Pretend you're interested and ask as many legit-sounding questions you can. If you can keep them occupied for an hour, that's at least 4 other potential customers that they won't be able to visit on their shift assuming their normal pitch takes 15 mins.
dolphinwaxer@reddit
I answer naked, swing dick at them and ask crazy questions. They get the point.
Q-burt@reddit
I got rid of one entirely when I asked for the license that he is supposed to have applied for with the city. (They have to show it upon request and have it on them at all times when they knock.) When he claimed he didn't have to show me, I told him, "Ok. I'm calling the cops. Get out of my neighborhood." Then he started cursing at me.
desertboots@reddit
Have your hose ready
CarrotofInsanity@reddit
Come to the door with a huge strap on dildo. Big one. And a whip. And an Angry/annoyed Attitude.
toomuch1265@reddit
Call the cops. In a lot of areas they have to register with the police and almost never do. Cops in my town will immediately run them out of town.
MistakesMade0@reddit
Check your city ordinances for solicitation, many places require a permit from the city and don't allow it after 5PM.
GirlStiletto@reddit
Come to the door with pepper spray. Take their pictures. Ask for their names and proof of ID. Photograph that too. Inform them that they look a lot like the thugs who were trying to SA people a few days ago with claims of selling insurance.
SneeKeeFahk@reddit
When they knock on your door just talk to them for hours. Act like you're interested but always steer the conversation away from whatever they are selling. When the finally leave and go to your neighbours house, follow them and keep talking about random shit.
Puceeffoc@reddit
Honestly I'd need a good therapy session this could work.
madamesquire@reddit
This will result in your house being flagged as a potential lead on their mapping tech for the next 10 years. Don't do this.
baldieforprez@reddit
Lol the last verizon solicitor has been stuck in my living for 8 years now
connection_lost@reddit
When a new group of solicitor come due to your house is flagged, "secretly" tell them that the previous owner was a sex predator. Their boss wanted to screw the workers by keep sending new employees over to this house.
tatasz@reddit
Which is fine, because you will be able to keep harassing them further
Vegetable_Mind_9987@reddit
Can’t you just ask them to delete it?
FormidableMistress@reddit
That's what I do. Sacrifice my time to waste theirs.
Puceeffoc@reddit
I have a rule:
"I don't answer the door for people I'm not expecting."
Go to the window, yell "be there in a minute" and then go back to doing whatever you were doing. When they start knocking then aggressively yell "I FUCKING HEARD YOU I SAID BE THERE IN A MINUTE, CALM DOWN WITH ALL THAT KNOCKING."
Then they'll stand there longer and eventually leave.
TarantulaBassett@reddit
Contact your state’s Attorney General as well as the Federal Trade Commission. Door knocking has some rules and acceptable hours. Lurking around a neighborhood at night, accosting old people for a commission is predatory as hell. If you have an HOA tell them to get off their butts and handle this. If not, the neighbors need to collectively complain to the AG’s office. I don’t agree with making police reports of ‘suspicious people walking around’ b/c you leave too much leeway for cops with bad intentions to do harm to people who aren’t the ones you have an issue with. If they come to your house once and you tell them you’re not interested, they don’t get to keep coming back. I’d also suggest answering your door with your phone recording and tell them that they keep coming to your home at night after being told repeatedly not to do so. Ask for their names, who they work for, and tell them that any future unwelcome visits to your home will be considered harassment. Maybe get some no solicitation signs or no trespassing signs for your most vulnerable neighbors.
MinivanPops@reddit
Find your neighborhood Facebook and next door groups. Put photos of these people on these groups. Let everybody know when they're walking around.
Then turn your tablet screen around and show them. Tell them you reported them to all the local neighborhood groups, and everybody knows they're coming.
Get a couple of neighbors to box their vehicle in, basically touching their bumpers. Then have a couple of dads explain to them that they're not welcome, nice and gently, and that every time they do show up their vehicles will be boxed in.
Constant-Roll706@reddit
Ask a lot of questions about their data privacy policies, like if some government agency wanted your browsing data, would it be protected? Mention offhand how there are no schools in the neighborhood. One scummy person will think you're a perv (from far away), but you'll know you're actually pretending to be an international spy
Junior_Ad_3301@reddit
Try holding a rifle when telling them to fuck off. It would work on me 100%
UnethicalLifeProTips-ModTeam@reddit
Nope
haleontology@reddit
Holding a rifle and sitting in the driveway COMPLETELY worked on me, except I was playing ding dong ditch in the 80's, I think I was 10- I never tried that again, it WORKS🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Except that it's probably easier to get rid of ding dong ditchers than solicitors...
NetDork@reddit
Put a No Soliciting sign on your door. When they knock anyway, hand out pamphlets for Hooked On Phonics.
skb2605@reddit
Fart spray would work well to keep them away. You don’t want to spray them, but maybe wait til you see one coming up the driveway and crack your door and spritz some fart spray. I doubt many more will approach your door. Or maybe put some in a bowl by your front door. You can buy the stuff on Amazon, it’s pretty cheap.
hellaflush727@reddit
Get a sign that says "trespassers will be shot" usually does the trick...
D1rtyH1ppy@reddit
You can call the police on them and say that they are casing houses to rob. Say they came to your house and tried to open the door and were looking through the windows.
stattenfield@reddit
just three words... Motion Activated Sprinklers
mabus42@reddit
Pass out signs to all your neighbors that say "This home protected by smith and wesson" and "bad economy means no warning shots will be fired"
Skeggy-@reddit
If your neighbors can’t tell a solicitor to fuck off that’s on them.
kitesurfr@reddit
Get a motion activated deer sprayer. It's just a large sprinkler with 50 to 100' range with a motion sensor. Connect the hose and place it in the front yard somewhere where we can watch the solicitors get sprayed in the face from your porch camera.
zelphior@reddit
Maybe off topic, but can you put up a sign that says something to the effect of “soliciters will be charged a $20 inconvenience fee for knocking on this door.” Then when they knock point to the sign and ask for the money before they can say anything else. If they don’t pay, would this be something you could take them to small claims court over?
sirspacebill@reddit
Those signs are bs and would never hold up in court fyi
Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit
ACAB, but use them. Report prowlers going through neighbors' yards in the dark.
True-Gate-9131@reddit
Paraphrased quote, “I want you to go in there, and very calmly tell the Verizon solicitors to fuck off.”
Also, if you see them bothering elderly neighbours, go up to them and take video of their interactions, explaining out loud how they’re hassling the elderly. Threaten to upload it to social media. Then actually upload it to social media.