ULPT: how do I sign someone up for as much spam as humanly possible

Posted by ISB4ways@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 78 comments

Met a guy off grindr a couple days ago, kicked him out after I realized he’d used fake pics, next day I’m texted by my landlord with a video of this fucker taking one of my neighbors’ packages with him on his way out of my building. I’ve got his full name and his phone number, tried finding the place he works at to report him but haven’t had any luck, and he’s blocked me everywhere by now.

How do I sign him up to as many spam texts, calls, etc as possible? I have to pay for the package this dude stole now and I don’t want this shameless fucker to get out of it all scot free. The more frequent, annoying, and disturbing, the better!