ULPT Request: Roommate weaponizing utilities and WiFi access, is absolutely massive asshole

Posted by edaly8@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 71 comments

My roommate until December of this year just decided to weaponize the WiFi and utility costs of living (we are a college house that splits WiFi and utilities through having them be 100% paid for through throwing parties once or twice a week) Because this roommate has lived here longer; he thinks he can boss around everyone, demean tjem and talk to them like they are lesser than him, set but not abide by numerous house rules, take extreme offense to being called out for aforementioned rule offenses, and numerous other behaviors that make him impossible to live with and an incredibly disagreeable person to be around.

Unfortunately, since he is the one who handles the finances of the house with one other roommate (spineless when it comes to standing up for everyone but a nice guy nonetheless), there is little potential recourse in that regard. But roommate 1 snapped today and has disliked me for a long period of time and just declared he will change the WiFi password and stop covering my side of the utilities What prompted that you might ask? Seeing a text in another group chat that said in order to talk to him you had to basically gentle parent in order to not offend him. I can provide myriad evidence of this guy just being a terrible person to live with and be around but he genuinely is just one of the worst people I’ve ever met.

With this in mind, what are some of the best ways to get back at him? He has a car, works for national grid, I have all of his personal info due to living with him and am only living here for two more months to I would love nothing more than to anonymously piss him off and cannot be traced back to me.

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Letheron88@reddit

If you’re not getting WiFi stop paying? (So long as it’s not in your name) Or if you’re already not getting internet go scorched earth and cut the cable into the property/router and claim it was done by someone at one of the parties.

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MC_Hify@reddit

He said he's not paying for utilities already. That he throws parties instead of paying bills.

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Letheron88@reddit

Fair. Play stupid games then for the guy who is on the hook for the bills thinking people would keep paying for parties if you threaten them.

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MC_Hify@reddit

I'd be surprised if "We will throw parties here and you pay for everything" was actually something he agreed to.

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jongscx@reddit

This. It's not in your name. It'll be a hit on his credit, not yours.

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highnnmighty@reddit

Sounds like a good time for u/edaly8 to torrent all their favorite movies

and seed generously :)

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blaspheminCapn@reddit

Reverse Uno, bitches!

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Empty-Development298@reddit

For real. Just get your own WiFi. Tmobile or Verizon have unlimited home internet plans for like 50 bucks a month

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vonhoother@reddit

The tasty part of this is that since it's OP's unshared WiFi, he'll have more bandwidth than his roommates.

To stick the knife a little deeper, use the same Internet service provider as the AH roommate, and download movies all day long. ISPs size their local facilities to handle expected traffic, not the sum of all subscriptions, so if OP maxes out his data plan he'll probably degrade their service. Probably.

kilgoretrout1077@reddit

Buried in that story was the exact phrase he will stop covering my side of utilities. So is he paying your bill? If so, suck it up buttercup. He can burn that WiFi down (figuratively) if he chooses and smile and be as big of a dick about it as he wants. Get your own WiFi. If that’s not the case and I misread it, guy sounds like a dick

motionmatrix@reddit

Are the parties at your place? Call the cops non stop till the show up and kill the party. Bonus points if you make sure to leave out some illegal stuff, preferably in his bedroom.

SlightRun8550@reddit

Report you seen him selling booze and drugs to underage kids

hivemind_MVGC@reddit

This dude is 100% embezzling. Demand a house meeting and make him show you all the expenses and income. If he refuses, threaten small claims court.

Alternately, buy a Chinese wifi jammer and shut off wifi for the whole house. He'll go insane trying to deal with it.

Just stop allowing the party's

Worldly-Worker6616@reddit

If you have all his personal info, call the provider and have the wifi shut off. Might not work if they send him an email or text message to confirm though. You could get drastic and steal the wifi router. Pour anchovy juice in the heating ducts. Stick his toothbrush up your bum. Use his phone and email to sign up for every single free quote online you can find. Put fibreglass powder in his bed. Order a truckload of gravel to be dumped in the middle of the driveway. Put an ad with his number on Craigslist saying 'free chickens, only call between 10pm and 5am because I work night shift.' Make a grindr profile with his phone number on it. It really depends how hard you want to go

Few_Ad_7613@reddit

Piss disk in his underwear drawer.

Always use piss disks

Change the email first

Superslim-Anoniem@reddit

Get one of the electric lighters, stick some wires into anywhere you see circuit board from the router, and zap it...

zamfire@reddit

Put fibreglass powder in his bed

That's just evil lol

monkey_zen@reddit

Stick his toothbrush up your bum. And then take it out, I ASSume.

BaitmasterG@reddit

Nah, switch it on

Traditional_Most_460@reddit

yass dark minds think alike 😈

Stop allowing the party's

Adventurous-Worker42@reddit

Does the landlord know about the parties? Time for an anonymous tip. Leave the party and call the authorities about underage drinking or drug use. Do you break noise ordinances with these parties?

Higgo91@reddit

Dead fish hidden in somewhere other house will smell like shit

Competitive_Unit_721@reddit

Raw chicken and some Milk in a ziplock bag. Add a little yeast. Leave hidden somewhere in his room.

wt_2009@reddit

Can you physically acess the router?

buy the exact same one, and set it up just like the original. Set the wifi name and password to the exact what it was, but dont tell him the router login.

Then use netcutdefender to lower his speed to 5mb/s. (check if its legal in your country)

Wieniethepooh@reddit

Also make a guest login and share the name & login with the other host mates c if v you v don't want them to fall victim?

Retb14@reddit

Many routers will let you limit the speed of a specific device so no one else would be affected and the roommate will think he is going crazy

DoallthenKnit2relax@reddit

Better yet, block the websites he goes to most often.

TheIronSoldier2@reddit

Don't block, just severely limit.

A comnection that is so slow as to be nearly unusable is SO much more infuriating than a blocked or non-existent connection.

That was the idea, 5mb/s is so slow that some webpages will just time out. Guess how i know, lol

Good to know! Thanks

Don't forget to try logging in as the router admin...if it works change the admin id and password.

if you keep the name and pw, the device will never know the difference. i accounted for that.
A guest account would show that there was a change, and thats what we try to hide.

twomillcities@reddit

Jfc this is clever and diabolical i love it

i lived long enough in communities to not let overlords do this to me. netcut can also be used to block such limitations, thats how i found out they did it to me.

Scragglymonk@reddit

National grid suggests UK, so use mobile phone data and stop paying for anything you are blocked from using. Maybe cut open his pillow and insert a turd...

SoggyMcChicken@reddit

We have National Grid in the US too

Thanks for the information

lucidity222@reddit

This, unlimited 5g plans are reasonably priced in the uk and you’ll basically never need WiFi again

Leave an upper-decker in the toilet when you leave.

nodray@reddit

So likely, this person is charging you all more than utilities really cost, and pocketing the rest. Get together and beat the shit out of him, make him show you the accounts on line, and verify costs, and change all passwords

jrhiggin@reddit

Tell him you want your share of the cash from the parties since it's no longer going towards your share of the bills. When he says no, stop the parties. Call the cops with noise complaints and contact the owner of the house.

DietCoke_repeat@reddit

Did he actually change the Wi-Fi password? Go check now.

If you can still connect, Download Fing. Connect it to your network.

Act normal.

Use F'ing and block/unblock his devices on and off and on and off and on and off at the WORST POSSIBLE TIMES for him. You can do this indefinitely. He won't know what's wrong with his Wi-Fi and won't know it's coming from you.

Kathucka@reddit

You make a living by throwing parties?

PrincessCrayfish@reddit

College life, throw a great party charging everyone an entrance fee. The entrance fee covers some booze for the party (which is what gets people to show up), and if you do it right, you also pull off a profit.

epicurean56@reddit

Asking the serious questions here

notproudortired@reddit

declared he will change the WiFi password and stop covering my side of the utilities

Were you not paying utilities before?

Getting back at him will not solve your access and payment problems and it will cause aggro with your other roommates. This is just a personal squabble: you should fix it, not escalate it.

The fact that you're moving out in a short time is your biggest advantage. One might start flushing paper towels & wet wipes. It will build up and mess up the plumbing. Or one might wait until they're closer to leaving and use Quick Crete.

So this guy paid for your utilities and now you have to pay for them yourself and you think that is unfair? And you shit talked the guy paying your bills behind his back and he found out and doesn't want to pay your bills anymore? Also, is he the master tenant? You think throwing a party makes up for not paying the bills?

mjf55@reddit

Is you have access to the router, the is probably a reset button on it. If so, that should reset to factory defaults. The password / ssid are in the documentation. Set you your owne.

Winter_Persimmon_110@reddit

Take the ethernet cable and tie it in a knot as tight as you can, then untie it and put it back.

If you have physical access to the WiFi gateway, resetting it is easy. And if it's the ISP's router and you can convincingly impersonate the roommate, try calling the provider and saying you changed the password and now you can't remember it, pleez help meee, they'll probably help. Share it with the other roommates, of course.

Fauxjito@reddit

DON'T be tempted to sign him up for visits from Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons (and others) using the helpful links on their websites.

DON'T be tempted to use one of the "letter full of glitter" services that you can order online, and DON'T use prepaid cards as funding source.

And don't order a big box of animal shit until you leave.

Aloha-Eh@reddit

Sounds like someone needs to get a bag of dicks in the mail.

Bowwowchickachicka@reddit

Move out. His ability to be in control of this house is dependant upon people agreeing to his terms. You're moving out in December?! Piss Disk my dude. piss disk

LordScotch@reddit

If I can have it neither can you. Break shit if its in his name and make him pay for it

Living-The-Dream42@reddit

Can you reset the router to the original password? My router is dying, I think, because it resets once or twice a month, always back to the original password... If you can do that, and you know the original password, you could take control and lock him out.

JesterV@reddit

Temu chirping sound machine. Tiny. Last for months. Hard to find. Super cheap. Different sounds available. Subtle.

fentsterTHEglob@reddit

Time for piss discs

ohpickanametheysaid@reddit

It’s always time for piss discs.

Jmonroe_tenn@reddit

Right??

JebusJones5000@reddit

If the accounts are in his name, fuck him. Stop paying him. Buy some really big and really sturdy zip ties, and tie them to the CV axles on his car, or anything else that spins. It'll make a fuck ton of noise, but not really harm anything. Post his number on places like Craigslist requesting dick pics only. If you want to go the nuclear option, post it on 4chan.

firewings42@reddit

In cold climate?Use some google and find where the heating duct intake is on their car. Place glitter. Wait for them to use the heater.

In hot climate? Set unwrapped crayons on the windshield. Get them to turn on wipers.

Fart spray in the pillow. Leave something nasty under their bed.

Utility not in your name? You don’t have access? Sounds like you’re not paying anymore!