ULPT Neighbor throwing Cigar ends while driving by

Posted by ProfessionalElk3910@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 37 comments

I have a pile of shit neighbor who lives like 15 houses down. For some reason he thinks my house is his ashtray and deliberately tosses his cigar ends in my driveway as he drives by in his pile of shit car. I have video footage on my ring. Not sure why he is doing this but you got any ideas on how to make this right?

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deedubfry@reddit

Save them and then crush them into a nice paste with any other stinky stuff you can find. Dog poop, rotten milk and rotten meat may be good. Apply it liberally to his hood vents. Mash it in there. Possibly into his houses ac. He probably has a window unit.

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ProfessionalElk3910@reddit (OP)

Keep em coming

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pinetreeclimbing@reddit

Spray salmon oil in the car vents near the windshield. Toss in some bird seed for critters if you're feeling extra

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Stoked_Otter@reddit

I would save them in a plastic bag and then once I had a few go over to his house in the middle of the night and stuff them into the fresh air vent of his car, right beneath the windshield

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Skeggy-@reddit

Spray the loose tobacco with some liquid ass for added zest.

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NotSoSasquatchy@reddit

Don’t forget piss discs

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ProfessionalElk3910@reddit (OP)

What’s a piss disc

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Bad_Mikey@reddit

Pee on a plate and freeze it. Easy to deploy piss!

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ProfessionalElk3910@reddit (OP)

Ahh that’s brilliant

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fentsterTHEglob@reddit

Here for the piss discs, not disappointed

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shaf74@reddit

Stuff them up the exhaust.

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wubrgess@reddit

Is it around the same time every day? You know his window is rolled down. You could sit nearby with a super soaker and blast him with it as he drives by.

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GirlStiletto@reddit

Call the local fire department and ask them how to report a fire hazard. Then show them the footage.

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TuckerDaGreat@reddit

Next time he is driving by stand at the bottom of your driveway with a brick clearly visible in hand. Don't throw it or anything, just make eye contact with him as he drives by, brick in hand.

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WolfenSatyr@reddit

I'm down for the implied threat tactic

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Scragglymonk@reddit

Wear gloves, mould the dog end into a turd, return them

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fingers@reddit

A large sign with "ONLY SMALL DICKED MEN THROW CIGAR BUTTS."

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Jerking_From_Home@reddit

This is actually quite hilarious.

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HoustonBOFH@reddit

Get enough proof and sue him in small claims court for $10k.

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ProfessionalElk3910@reddit (OP)

I got evidence on video

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lo-lux@reddit

Yes your honor, I do bill myself at $200 per hour.

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GusPolinskiOfficial@reddit

Collect all the cigarette butts from local outdoor ashtray/smoker stations. Enter his house under the cover of an Internet repair technician and put them under his mattress.

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Technical-Sector407@reddit

Befriend him. Sleep with him.

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GusPolinskiOfficial@reddit

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, like a make your wife jealous kind of close and keep doing it until you both like it." - Rutherford B. Hayes

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StrayAI@reddit

Tell your city, and if they dont write them a ticket for littering... write one yourself. make it look all official and stuff.

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FIRE-trash@reddit

This might be a good time to accidentally spill gasoline all over the street

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halen2024@reddit

Let ants do the work for you.

Fill a super soaker with a sugar solution and spray liberally around their doors, windows and air vents. They will very quickly have the mother of all ant infestations.

Repeat as needed

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sinsemillas@reddit

He lights the last smoke of his drive at the same location each day, then inconsiderately tosses it when he’s done. He’s just a selfish fuck who only considers himself.

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TiresOnFire@reddit

I thought the same thing. Still not excusable.

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sinsemillas@reddit

Piss disk.

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No_Educator_6376@reddit

Time to strike back by chewing tobacco and spitting in his driveway. You gotta out redneck the redneck .

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Grapeape934@reddit

He probably has a ring camera too. So follow him in the morning and find out where he works. then a week or so later swing by and spray liquid ass down his vents. Using a syringe (like used to flush out teeth etc, not ones with a needle) and shove it into his car around the edge of the window in the insulation area and spray liquid ass or doe in heat or fox urine into the interior of his car. Let the air out of his spare tire and one of the tires on his car.

Then call the police on the non emergency line and have him fined for littering. Even better if they come out to your house and are able to observe him doing it then you can offer up the video evidence you have of him doing it numerous times before.

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