ULPT request: How to deal with neighbors not picking up after their dog?

Posted by almostbullets@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 27 comments

A few people in my neighborhood never pick up after their dog. The HOA provides poop bag stations with trash cans, but still find poop literally just feet away from it that people are too lazy to pick up. It’s fucking everywhere! I live in a small townhouse neighborhood and in just circling my row of 5 houses I saw 4 different piles of poop. There are kids that live here, if I had any I would be even more pissed.

I just don’t understand why people are ok with their neighborhood being covered it poop, I guess pieces of shit just like being around other pieces of shit.

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Dasrule@reddit

I live on a lot of acreage and had time and materials to practice but, there’s nothing like your own personal trebuchet. If the violators are your neighbors, you should be able to return their property to them from 100s’ of yards away. Don’t forget piss disc under their front door. Liquid ass the car door handles.

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Just_Here_So_Briefly@reddit

Smear all over their door handle, they will get the message.

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BikeCookie@reddit

Bacon grease on the poops and they will cream themselves up…

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Empty__Jay@reddit

I knew there was something that could be poured on, but I forgot what it was. Too bad bacon grease is so good for cooking with, I'd hate to give it up. But, then I'd have a reason to cook more bacon.

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No_Pattern_7600@reddit

You are the hero we need.

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BBorNot@reddit

This is the ULPT way.

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I_Like_Vitamins@reddit

Return to sender.
Name and shame.
Liberally spread cayenne pepper along the edges of your lawns/gardens to deter dogs from coming near.
Let off an air horn every time you see a person with a dog that looks like it's about to litter the ground whilst encouraging your neighbours to follow in suit.
Do not try to negotiate with them about it or put up signs politely asking them to pick up after their dogs. This will only incite their infantile brains to be spitefully noncompliant and seek out your place to cover in excrement

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ThumpAndSplash@reddit

This is “unethical” life pro tips, not good advice.

Throw piss discs at anyone you see walking a dog.

Take pictures of the people walking the dogs and make signs that say “this person is a registered sex offender” on them and those people will be so shamed and embarrassed that they’ll stop walking in your area for fear of being recognized.

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KrofftSurvivor@reddit

There's a difference between unethical and going to get you sued out of everything you own..

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ThumpAndSplash@reddit

Prepare to have a sign added to your lawn, friendo.

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No_Pattern_7600@reddit

Touche!

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AnnoyedVelociraptor@reddit

I like that you don't try to talk to them.

People too often suggest talking.

People who do this know what they're doing. They're just assholes. Talking isn't helping.

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s0meguynamedmichael@reddit

How often would one need to spread cayenne pepper along their yard edge?

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AnnoyedVelociraptor@reddit

As often as it rains, and once a week.

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Dustquake@reddit

Not sure your exact setup, and I'm a techno nerd.

Get a motion sensor camera and a projector/cheap used TV.

Anytime the camera catches a culprit it gets added to the feed.

Set up the projector or TV to be visible from outside through the window(s) that face the sidewalk. All the feed plays is those shame videos. Put up a sign offering to accept others' videos and share yours if they want to set theirs up.

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Forgottengoldfishes@reddit

Take a large stick and fling the piles into the sidewalk area where people walk. They will avoid walking by your yard. Bonus points if they complain to the HOA about the dog shit. Funny how people who leave their dogs to shit in your yard just hate cleaning shit off their shoes.

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Dustquake@reddit

I was thinking something like this. Don't say anything, just take a late night walk. Move any encountered pikes onto the sidewalks. Sit back and watch how many neighbors start raising a drink about the poop epidemic.

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Krynja@reddit

Pour bacon grease on top of the droppings. The next time dogs come by they will eat that shit up. Then proceed to vomit. Then maybe try to eat the vomit.

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tree_beard_8675301@reddit

If you’re not sure who it is, get a camera. Then return to sender in the most delicate bag you can find. Or scoop it on to a piece of tissue paper, tie it up with a ribbon, and leave it on their doorstep ideally when they won’t find it for a few hours.

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AboveNormality@reddit

Record them doing it and report to HOA

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_B-166-ER_@reddit

My next door neighbor does this shit. Asshole lazy teenager, fat-ass wife too lazy to walk their 3 fucking mutts. I'm not the homeowner, I only rent the basement of an end-unit townhouse in a leafy nice suburb. I park my car on the side where there's a grassy area and when I see dog shit I know it's the cunts next door. I grab a large shovel that my landlord has in the yard, I go scoop it up along with some dirt and I walk up to their house and fucking throw it on the concrete in front of their front door. I warned that kid when we moved here not to walk his dog near my car.

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BadEarly9278@reddit

Take a manshit in their yard.

Have done exactly that at a townhouse community where each place had their own 10x10 front yard with nice grass. Dude kept letting his large dog drop steamers on my small plot (obviously didn't want these mounds on his lawn). After asking nicely twice, still got dog shit every morning. So, I went out super late that night and left a huge dirt and used TP and left it all right there for him. Problem was resolved after that.

(Note: it is absolutely illegal and a fineable offense to crap in public spaces or anyone's private property. Just fyi)

TLDR: Get a Lux box from Taco Bell and when it hits, drop one on the lawn.

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BourbonSucks@reddit

name and shame them. Bothering the HOA about it will work unless its a HOA person who isnt doing it, then theyll come after you

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JMD331@reddit

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