I feel alone (rant) | TheaterFire

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Dallashound@reddit

My wife passed on Feb 14 2025 (yeah, I know- Valentines will never be the same ) Sold the house and relocated to Carrollton. Feel like I’m going through the motions. I believe it will get better and easier, but going to bed alone and waking up alone and missing doing our ‘normal things’ - Dinner,movies, dancing- hurts. She is in a better place though. I know that is true.

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ComprehensivePin2755@reddit

Go to the gym, workout a lot and do not go into drinking. Find new tv shows and moviee

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MrsThor@reddit

I recommend joining a book club. I am part of a nonfiction book club and usually i am the only woman. Book clubs are a great place to grow, have deep talks and make lasting connections.

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No_Celebration2215@reddit

Do not sign up with an expensive dating service. Words to the wise.

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InterestingClient158@reddit

Hey bro, a lot of people are going to say go out and mingle but, I recommend the opposite. Learn to be just by yourself for a while. Find out the things you like, dont like about yourself, dreams goals. And then come back out into the world a brand new dude. When you love yourself people can tell, and you'll hopefully have a lot better experiences. You can always start over and remake yourself, no matter what you have went through.

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West_Journalist_3382@reddit

This is true. Find yourself first and don't jump into another relationship if you are not healed yet :)

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LadyStoneheart1@reddit

whaaat? my ex got into a "serious" relationship 2 months after the decree was signed, and claims he's worked on himself more than I have and the new boo is proof of that. make it make sense??

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LadyStoneheart1@reddit

I really appreciate this advice and needed to read it too. Just got divorced too, and sorta excited to reacquaint myself with myself.

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InterestingClient158@reddit

Because truthfully the people that be do not want the population to do inner work or figure out who they are. We are taught from a young age to always be in other peoples faces and mingle, if everyone in this country went into their homes for a week or two and were alone they would face themselves, and the effect would be people leaving having empathy. If we all became truly empathetic and knew who we are we could heal others, it would mean the destruction of capitalism itself.

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NoRecognition5545@reddit

Well Said

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gibbyhikes@reddit

Yeah, since the loss of my wife in January I've been a mess and life has gotten quite solitary. The check is slow down and eventually stop. People think I've got it handled when the opposite is true. I've figured it's time to figure out me, and as you said, come back brand new, molded by this trial.

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Burning_at-the_Edges@reddit

I’m so very very sorry for your loss. 🤍

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johnnyma45@reddit

Love this advice. Having a social network is great but being fine by yourself is priceless.

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guroxique@reddit

Agree with this fellow compadre

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fml-ffs@reddit

Best advice! I had to do this. I came out of a 12 year relationship and suddenly my friend group was gone. I had to learn who I am now without that person… what I do and don’t like to do, my interests, what I did and didn’t like about myself. I am infinitely happier now that I have found myself and learned to love myself. It’s hard, but so worth it. That said, it fucking sucks to lose your friend group just cos you were the “other”

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arlenroy@reddit

I am right with you friendo, it can definitely fucking suck, it gets depressing being lonely, it's hard mentally. As hard as it sounds, you have to get used to being alone, being yourself, ask yourself: were you truly yourself around your friend group? Did you have to tweak little things? Were there personality quirks your ex didn't like that you hid? If you ever had to act differently for any reason, here's your chance to be yourself, accept yourself, love yourself. Took me a while, took a few lonely nights, probably consumed more booze than I should, but today I can say I am content being alone. I am happy just being by myself, I don't have the awful feelings of loneliness anymore. I am sorry OP, it sucks, its hard, but trust me you'll look back at this time and be relieved that you can be alone by yourself now. Keep on trucking!

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IntotheBroadwayWoods@reddit

Great, great advice. I've been divorced Ross from Friends style. I wouldn't have been a ross if I had taken time to be by myself. :D

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Mr_BeanSteen@reddit

This is the best advice imo. I didn't go through a divorce but did go through a break up and being alone and feeling comfortable with myself made me answer all of these questions.

Meditation, yoga, weightlifting and volunteering have all been huge for me. They get you out there but zero expectation or pressure to talk and they all make you feel good.

Good luck and you'll get through it!

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naked_avenger@reddit

Join a co-ed sports league like GoKickball, Waka, Dallas Social, etc. when they’re in season.

You can join the Dallas discord server where there are occasional get togethers (volleyball, board games).

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UnarasDayth@reddit

Options for the uncoordinated or disabled?

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1189Carter@reddit (OP)

Do you have a link or anything to the discord. Or DM it to me, I know Reddit can be weird about links

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naked_avenger@reddit

https://discord.gg/UVQwQDDGq

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1189Carter@reddit (OP)

Just joined, thanks

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dracul89@reddit

Man, I feel ya. I went through this too. If you're up for a good LAN party let me know..

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Heavens789@reddit

Hugs! Gay but you can chat with me anytime

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RockwallHotwifeCPL@reddit

Here’s my advice - remember that phones work both ways! They may be thinking the same thing. Reach out, schedule a game night with them without your ex or something. Or have your buddies over to watch sports or whatever yall do. Please, just don’t sit alone assuming that they’re not thinking about you too.

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TheRealFaust@reddit

Have you considered that maybe you are a terrible person?

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Calicoast77@reddit

Says the terrible person.

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Calicoast77@reddit

Temporary. Keep your head up. Lot’s of people in this world. You just haven’t found the right one yet.

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IssueNeat4971@reddit

Dude you are not alone. Wanna talk we can text, just DM me. We don't have to talk about the matter. Also if everything cool we can go fishing. It's therapy af.

Besides that. I'm also going through a bad fucked up situation, but I gotta stay positive and I'm sure you can too, and if not Ima help you out

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Aggravating_Brief337@reddit

Enjoy being single. Volunteer and network. I used to and met a lot of good people

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popicon88@reddit

I went through this 5 yrs ago. It’s the isolation and loneliness that makes divorce so hard for men. It gets better

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NoRecognition5545@reddit

Take time out to get back in touch with your self and God first so you can try to figure out what you want in life God Moves People Out Of Our Lives For A Reason Remember God Gives Us What We Ask For Think About What You Asked Him For Praying God Gives You Understanding About Everything

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After-Office-7627@reddit

Ok brosuf your gonna wanna go over to park lane Best Buy and get you one of those there ps5. Score a headset while you’re there and the new copy of BF6. Go home hop on and make some new friends. Sounds like you had a few turn coats in your circle.

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1189Carter@reddit (OP)

PS5 already acquired 🫡, now I need the skills to actually play online games haha

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missylee457@reddit

Similar story after a 20 year marriage. I thought losing my friend group was the worst thing at the time. 5 years later I see what a gift it was. Spending time alone in meditation was key. Freedom from the expectation of others I was able to drop parts of my self that I realized I had just adopted for my friends and husband. I was able to recreate my life to be exciting and new without having to ask permission from anyone. Also I found such a wonderful friends as I joined meditation circles. I started camping and enjoying nature more. That came with more healing and new camping friends. Life is more simple now but more beautiful than ever. You got this! Look inside and find your deepest dreams and create it.

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SignalAd3380@reddit

Controllable versus non controllable.

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lamepathy@reddit

Hey its more like a Real Madrid watch party right?

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1189Carter@reddit (OP)

Just the match in general, but I like Barcelona more lol don’t hold it against me 😂

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pumkinspicelatte@reddit

Come by for some beers man! Doors always open

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WonCoin@reddit

Like a few people already have said, she probably made them pick her if you aren't hearing back from them. Maybe she told them the truth or a lie. If you really want any of those friends in your life still, maybe check what she said to them.

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SameSadMan@reddit

Have you tried contacting these friends? Some people just aren't good at proactively reaching out, but it does not mean they don't care about you.

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1189Carter@reddit (OP)

I just wanted to say thank you for all the kind messages and words of encouragement. I’m sorry to hear that others are going through similar situations as well. We’ll all get through this. Open invitation to anyone for the Barcelona watch party tomorrow at the longhorn icehouse. We don’t all have to be alone

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SorryRevenue@reddit

Go for a hike...a bike ride... Something to clear the mind and get the endorphins flowing. Something repetitive and mindless to clear the mind.

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Logical_Bee@reddit

When I left my ex husband, all our friends sided with him. I was very alone. I’m sorry. I want to say it gets better, but who knows?

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South-Librarian5002@reddit

You should move to Phoenix. The people are so much nicer there and much more kind. People around here are so mean and miserable. And its far worse than Miami. At least in Miami people give you their time of day. Here, if you even try to strike a conversation, your looked at like you have 2 heads and ignored.

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MSPTurbo@reddit

You are not alone. I came to this country alone, have no friends and family here, and my job is fully remote. Sometimes I don’t even speak a single word for the whole day. The only time I ever go out is for groceries and the gym. I am sure there lots of people like us here.

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Dreamwalker-Inc@reddit

I feel this rant like it’s coming from my own heart. As a single never married, I don’t know what’s it’s like to be divorced. However I do have similar feelings after my group of ppl of 7+ yrs moved here 3 yrs ago and then broke cohesion and scattered around the beginning of this year. I haven’t had much contact with them since. I don’t know anybody here in DFW outside of that group. And I’m still in Dallas bc idk where to go next.

At the same time… this has provided me with an opportunity to get to know who I am again, and to someday find a purpose that I can call my own and thrive in.

I hope that the advice given on this thread will help you find who you want to be in your next chapter. Big hugs 🫂

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Hefty_Report7354@reddit

I think it’s funny that these knuckle-draggers cannot seem to get their collective heads around what ANTIFA actually is

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thatonenativechild@reddit

If you play basketball, a lot of Dallas rec centers have free open gym, just need a membership ($15/year). All ages play.

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BroodingBroccoli@reddit

Hey bro. It will be okay. You are not alone. You are one conversation away from no longer being in your current state of mind. Literally, go to a bar and talk to a stranger.

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1189Carter@reddit (OP)

Bars aren’t my thing but I know what you’re saying. Thank you

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GertBertisreal@reddit

If you don't mind a chick, I'm newly retired and bored! You wanna meet up for lunch or coffee or a drink, hit me up.

I moved here from Austin and my friends are my boyfriend's/husband. For whatever reason, I'm more friends with the guys than gals.

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tmc00138@reddit

OK, first, alcohol isn't a good thing to tart taking on board when you're depressed. So you have some of that going on, then like the folks above are saying, give yourself some time and get through that first.

But I will say that the right bar can be very, very helpful for coming out of a period of isolation. You don't have to get wrecked, but just pick a place that fits you, in the vicinity of your home (so no DUIs), and go semi-regularly, once or maybe twice a week, in the early to mid-evenings. Sit at the bar with a book or a newspaper or whatever else you like to read on paper (no screens), and talk with the bartender. In short order the conversations will open up with other people. The people there in the early to mid-evenings will not be the people who come in to get sloshed, and are likely to also be just getting out of the house and looking for people to talk with.

In a little bit more time you'll meet a couple three people whom you can go to dinner with, or invite over for dinner, or talk business with, or whatever. You have to watch the booze intake and make sure it isn't interfering with your commitments or tipping you back into the blues, but if you use a good bar well, it genuinely can be a good thing. It's actually why they were invented, independently all around the world -- zero-pressure, lubricated and facilitated social time.

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1189Carter@reddit (OP)

I don’t do bars due to sobriety stressors, but I know what you’re saying

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tmc00138@reddit

Then yeah, bars are off the menu. But if not bars, then look for other early evening options -- when/where people congregate in the evening, they're usually looking to mingle.

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nooneremarkable@reddit

Places like Civil Pour serve wine, beers, coffee, and teas. So maybe a happy in between?

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Ok-Journalist-9313@reddit

I say this as someone with MDD (major depressive disorder) and pretty wild agoraphobia (i get really bad anxiety leaving the house), learn what YOU like to do. there are infinite things in the world that could interest you: find one, and then find an online group to discuss it. You’ll find so many cool people that way, and even though they’re not always nearby, i’ve found these connections to still be very meaningful. And, you can find meet-ups to discuss/practice your hobby in person. Dallas Maker’s Place and the public library both have AWESOME programs that are low or no cost where you can meet people with similar interests while honing your skills.
Don’t worry too much about being alone right now, focus on YOU and what you like. Let that rebuild your self-confidence and make connections in spaces where you know you’ll have common interests. But most of all, if you end up in a dark and scary place, don’t be embarrassed to call your family out of the blue or to call 988. 988 is the suicide hotline, and they accept texts at the same number. While you do need to be experiencing a mental health event, it doesn’t need to be a crisis. They can help, they’ll sit and talk to you. Just please don’t overuse them as a source of connection, just to break the cycle going on in your head.

You’ll be ok, friend. Things are hard now and probably will be tomorrow, but keep doing your best and eventually you’ll wake up and the sun will feel warmer on your face and the birds will sing a little louder for you.

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scott1373@reddit

wanna hang out and give each other handies?

Just kidding. You will be fine. Shit isn't easy at first.

I gained a few friends from jiu jitsu, the record store, and plant/gardening group.

It made me leave my comfort zone, but I also go to concerts at some of the smaller venues by myself.

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SignificantRich9168@reddit

do you play video games? if you want to play something sometime, DM me. I'll play basically anything.

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beensept8x@reddit

Sam here. If OP is interested in playing some games or just chatting.

Feeling alone is tough, I agree with others about finding peace with where you're at and being by yourself. Work on rediscovering some interests or hobbies, and you might meet some good people along the way. Best of luck 🧡

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elonzucks@reddit

Have you reached out to them and have been ignored or you haven't reached out?

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Auto_psyche@reddit

Hey, I am sure you’ll come back stronger and a better man. I’d love to talk or just be there to listen to ya.

I am lonely and suicidal. I graduated in may 2024 and am still unemployed. I got discarded by someone I really cared about while I begged her not to, a month after that I lost the job that I had just started a few months ago. Now I’m dealing with health issues and haven’t been able to workout since 3 months. Felt like everything I cared about was taken away from me.

I don’t have much advice except hang in there man. Take care of yourself, one day at a time.

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Dal_Profession_214@reddit

Your not alone. Things aren't falling apart there falling into place. Your growing and when you you change your aquatinces change your environment changes your perspectives change your purpose changes. Your not loses your winning it's just hurts to grow to win to change so get used to it and invite pain invite change and embrace your purpose

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grnstrawberryfields@reddit

Since you’re in Dallas, I wanted to recommend Dallas Running Club. Some of the nicest people I’ve met in the metroplex have been through its training groups!

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trending_texan@reddit

Once you get comfortable being alone, go out and make friends. Join a jiu jitsu academy. Tons of good bros in there.

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FewAd1484@reddit

I’m most peaceful when I’m alone. You aren’t happy with yourself. Figure out what it is about yourself you aren’t happy with and change it.

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worstpartyever@reddit

Hey, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Hang in there.

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notamyokay@reddit

Hi friend. Been here. Left a ten yr relationship a few yrs ago.

If you are able, therapy is amazing. And I should have started it immediately, but did not. Now I am. Sometimes it helps to have a third party listen who has no dog in the fight yknow?

Also, as mentioned, taking time to learn who you are again without another person influencing your decisions will be the best thing you could do.

If you need someone to chat with, my dms are open. If you need someone to just msg you ever so often to check in, I can do that, too. This life is difficult and we need one another at times. But even if not, at any rate, I hope you find healing and peace and I am sending you good vibes.

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West_Journalist_3382@reddit

You are not alone! Everything will be alright :) Your feelings are valid. We on the same page I got seperated like few months ago. It was really sad but things wil get better. He left me with no money at all. I have no friends here and family. Have a part time job and I figure it out every single step one by one. Always remember that after the rain there will be a rainbow. Do something that makes you happy. Now that I have a car I drive sometimes to places I wanna go. 24/F

Hugs!!! ❤️

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r0ck-e@reddit

Time to hit the gym and start that redemption arc.

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Capable_Fun_7669@reddit

Did you get any new luggage?

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Master_Variety5303@reddit

Welcome to life in the modern era

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AdhesivenessOwn1767@reddit

Sadly it's a super isolated world right now. Hell we're all chatting behind apps ourselves. A bit about myself I'm 44 I have Muscular Dystrophy I've been disabled since birth in a wheelchair since childhood and a power wheelchair since my early teens. In highschool and college I had some of the best friends ever but they grew up, got married, had kids all have their own lives and are too busy to hang out. I've dated two girls in my entire life the first one dumped me because "we have a great time hanging out and the wheelchair doesn't bother me but I didn't realize it was so limiting in your health and where we can go" like I was wearing the wheelchair like a fashion accessory. The second girl told me "I'm just not sexually attracted to you anymore and while you're absolutely the perfect boyfriend I just don't want to continue a relationship" so yeah I was bummed but we really enjoyed each other's company and tried the just friends route and for awhile it was great we didn't physically see each other much as we're both dealing with health stuff but would talk daily, watch movies together while on the phone with each other and while the sexual stuff was nice didn't really feel like much was different. Then suddenly she stops calling, stops responding to texts, starts to flake on watching shows and tells me she is so starting to want an even more casual friendship so we would text daily and talk on the phone about once a week, now the last time I physically saw her was February, last time we spoke on the phone was my birthday in mid September and last time either of us sent a text was about 3 weeks ago. I've had to stop working at a job I was at for nearly 18 years because I've started having seizures and I'm developing frontal lobe atrophy so I have almost zero social interaction anymore. I've had to resume my hobbies of photography and just listening to my records to pass the time. I'm hoping the silver line will give me new locations to photograph, because unfortunately I can't drive my reaction time is too slow even with hand controls. Just gotta find yourself a hobby and a place of quiet appreciation for solitude.

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Pajaro_negro@reddit

Keep your head up. Meet new people, get out of your head.

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Gdlk_Abe@reddit

Hey man, what kind of hobbies are you into?

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Quirky_Drive_1579@reddit

Find a Church with a men’s group. Blessings brother

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jamesrblack@reddit

When I first moved to Dallas I had one work friend and that was it. I decided to get back into Magic the Gathering and met so many wonderful friends - including my wife. Even though I haven’t played in several years, I reflect on it as one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Still so many close friends thanks to that card game.

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Virtual-Location6061@reddit

Isn't it wild how you can live in one of the largest cities in the country and yet still feel like you're the only person on earth sometimes?

Listen, I've never really been in a relationship so it's tough for me to relate to a divorce or breakup, but I CAN relate to that lonely/isolated feeling when you're going through something. You feel like opening up to a fence post. I'm going through that now myself.

If you want to chat, feel free. You don't have to sugar coat it with pleasantries or small talk.

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geoffsykes@reddit

Been there. Find a hobby or a passion. Mine is creating artwork. I found a community by attending events. Get out and find people that like what you like, but maybe once you've discovered what that is, if you haven't already.

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hottytoddybelle@reddit

Hang in there. I’m not divorced but I moved here alone and work remote so I understand being lonely. Sometimes it’s good to just say it out loud.

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blondydog@reddit

Join s catholic parish. You'll be welcomed and you'll make friends.

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1189Carter@reddit (OP)

I was Catholic when I was a teenager but religion just didn’t sit well with me personally. I’ve still talked to my hometown priest on occasion but I would not call myself a religious person

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blondydog@reddit

You might find that you feel different now than when you were younger. But that's besides the point. The Catholic Church has a mixture of very devout and more casual church goers. Both are welcome. If you join a parish community you'll be among people who are trying to be good people and are part of a faith community that calls us to love each other. That's a great place to make friends.

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Kind_Strike_9026@reddit

Go out and find something you find joy in. Take a walk around white rock, check out your local library, maybe give disc golf a try. Go take some line dancing classes, glass blowing, cheese making. Go see a local band. Finding something you enjoy will help find people with common interests and you’re more likely to enjoy being around. Plus you get out and learn about yourself too.

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miiintyyyy@reddit

Start going places and talking to random people. Or join a meetup group. Lots of lonely people out there?

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1189Carter@reddit (OP)

I know I’m going to have to eventually. Right now I’m focusing a bit on my work and trying to get through the end of the year (work wise)

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Quirky-Feature-1908@reddit

Valid! As far as language exchange I would recommend finding a meet up group that meets in person near you when you're finally up for it! I came across several when I was wanting yo brush up on my skills and the groups I came across meet weekly so you can go as regularly as you want.

Wishing you well and peaceful end to the year!

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Tejanisima@reddit

Seconded — some of them are run by people who also do lessons on the side, but the others are autonomous in fact, I felt kind of like a ringer when I first started going, because it was for people who speak English to get better at Spanish and for Spanish speakers to improve their English (initially we spent a set amount of time talking one language, then switched arbitrarily at a certain time, and then in the last part of the group meeting, you spoke whatever you wanted), whereas I was fluent in both and just looking to get out of the house for a few hours at a time when I was recently divorced, doing online school, and basically only hanging out with my parents, who had recently closed the longtime family business where I had been working for the previous year.

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1189Carter@reddit (OP)

I’ve thought about it, but right now I work in administration for a language school so I’m not sure if I want my “discover myself” time to be almost the same thing as my actual job.

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tmc00138@reddit

If your day job is more on the intellectual side, then try something physical -- it's very good to "cycle" your brain through different sorts of engagement, for emotional balance as well as social purposes. Climbing gyms are good options and more social than a Planet Fitness kind of place.

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1189Carter@reddit (OP)

I used to go climbing with my old coworker before he moved out of state. Maybe I should look at going back.

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tmc00138@reddit

I think that option would present you with some very good odds.

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North_Phrase4848@reddit

Man, I'm really sorry for your predicament. After >42 years of marriage, I really have no personal experience with going solo. I'm not trying to dissuade you from either path; It's your choice. I can say that my wife and I periodically take a break from each other. Neither of us have a close circle of friends, but we are advocates for issues that are important to us. My wife is blind and volunteers her time organizing White Cane Day events in our area. I'm involved as well, but in an organization support colleague. She often takes solo local trips for self care treatments (manny-pedis, haircuts, massages) by utilizing ride share. Anywho, I'd like to suggest involving yourself with local charities and non-profits. We've met some really wonderful folks in the DFW area by embedding ourselves in these organizations. If you have any family, friends or colleagues living out of the area, you may want to consider reaching out to them and seeing if they would like to meet up. We did an East Coast road trip this past Spring and reconnected with a former colleague and a friend who I'd babysat for almost 50[!] years ago. It was a brilliant trip, designed with stops along the way to our final destination to the Outer Banks, NC US. There are plenty of options available, please don't limit yourself to online meet and greets etc. Be well!

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1189Carter@reddit (OP)

I used to go climbing with my old coworker before he moved out of state, maybe I should consider going back

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jimmywatters@reddit

I’m a dude looking at another dude to maybe go to cidercade?

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DiamondsInHerButt@reddit

I went through a pretty horrible divorce a decade ago. My brain was on fire 24/7.

But I'm gonna echo what other people said...go interact with others in real life. Don't look for online support and focus on your job.

My life was literally saved by real people in my life telling me they cared about me at the time.

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TicketAggressive@reddit

I’m currently going through the steps of separation from my wife. I’m lucky enough that I have a best friend who has been checking on me and a good friend in Vegas who is letting me go out to crash with him for a while. If you need someone to talk to, DM me and I’ll share my number so we can text.

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mouthfullamochi@reddit

I have had two different male friends this has happened too. I reached out to both. I think women do a lot of planning and organizing which means that they are more connected than their male partners tend to be.

Not saying that is the case with you but take care of yourself, your health and your socializing.

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Tejanisima@reddit

Plus in some cases, they take sides even when the ex they stay friends with doesn't want them to cut out the other person. Despite the fact ours was a rare at-fault divorce, with his accepting his role, I still didn't want him shut out, given that here in Dallas I have lots of family and roots, whereas he had left a lot of family behind when we moved here. Even friends who had only ever known us as a couple still dropped him, although some of that may have been things like me continuing to go to the same church and his not going there anymore. It varies why this happens: sometimes it is like you say, where they think of themselves as friends primarily with one spouse while the other spouse always thought they were friends with them more or less equally... sometimes it's that they feel (correctly or incorrectly) that one spouse was wronged by the other and cut out the one they blame... other times it simply that one spouse continues with some shared interest or group and the mutuals just stay in touch with the one who remained. Someone else in the thread pointed out that with some (straight) couples, the wife was the organizer or impetus behind get-togethers... and, sorry to say, sometimes people are just shallow.

If you have been reaching out unsuccessfully, then you have my sympathy and my encouragement to do everyone here is suggesting and seek other outlets. If you haven't been reaching out to them, you STILL have my sympathy ☺️ but also my encouragement to reach out to the ones you think are most likely to respond. Meanwhile, keep getting up in the morning, keep putting one foot in front of the other, and remember to be kind to yourself the way you would be kind to someone who lost a loved one, because this absolutely is a type of grief for most people. 🫂

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Skillet1967@reddit

Was in your same situation about 2 years ago. So I know exactly what you are going through. Take the time to get to know yourself. Find some hobbies to distract yourself from thinking bad thoughts. Give yourself time to heal. To heal, you need to practice the “NC” no contact with her. Do not look at her social media pages, block her or “unfriend”, block her on your phone (unless there are kids involved). If “friends” do reach out. Sometimes, they may be on a searching expedition for her. Just be cordial and do not give up any information. That happened to me and I had “diarrhea of the mouth”. That friend has not reached out in over a year, so I knew the only reason they reached out was for her benefit. It will take awhile, but you will come out the other side a better and stronger person. Therapy helped me too, to get perspective and to work on myself. Good luck, you got this!!

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1189Carter@reddit (OP)

Im looking into counseling for sure. No contact is not possible at the moment until our lease is up

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ciscokidwasa@reddit

I went thru the same thing when I was in the army and was going thru a divorce bro. Life was so much better when I realized that none of them were my friends, because they stopped talking to me and embraced her. Till this day, they’re all friends and I haven’t talked to any of them. I just started fresh and realized that I never liked any of them anyway.

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Flaky_Brilliant4092@reddit

I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. If you like animals you can try volunteering at an animal shelter or even fostering. Adopting my dog was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made for myself. Also a great way to meet people. I can only imagine how much you’re probably hurting right now, but try to remember that this won’t last forever. I’m sending positive energy your way.

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1189Carter@reddit (OP)

She got a dog like a month before we first met so he’s been with us since. Who he ends up is one of those things that really sucks to think about.

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Flaky_Brilliant4092@reddit

I’m so sorry 😢

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No_Bend8@reddit

Honestly Dallas sucks for meeting people. I hope you can find some happiness with the split. "Friends" have to choose sides now. Its probably uncomfortable for everyone. Have you tried reaching out to them?

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QuintoxPlentox@reddit

No divorce here, just separated/co-parenting. Never really shared friends like that, but we were young when we separated. I have no idea what you're going through, but I can say finding friends after that has been... hard. Sorry man. Good luck.

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Majestic_Clock9790@reddit

I went thru this after my divorce and honestly it was eye opening. I forgot about all those people, raised my standards in all my friendships and now have a small but solid ass circle. Seriously take this time to reflect and just love yourself. When i went thru my last hard break up i took up house plants which sadly has taken over my like lmao but it’s so rewarding to care for something and actually watch it grow. Plus they’re a nice aesthetic

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Axyem@reddit

I feel you. I've been there. I'm still going though it but everyday is looking maybe a little brighter. But first, take your time and learn to be yourself. Eventually you'll find the energy to do what you enjoy again. There's a lot new experiences out there and new memories to be made. At 30 I started going to raves and various music shows around Dallas because I like crying and headbanging. Met some really nice people. Pick at least one SOCIAL activity you enjoy and eventually you'll find your people. Before you feel like doing anything stupid, DM me.

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Monkeyruler90@reddit

Always great time to self reflect and improve yourself

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Falukas@reddit

How do I message the moderator?

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Breizhman84@reddit

Have you tried to make an account on Meetup? My therapist recommended me to do one, I joined random groups, and I actually made friends.

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meatcheetosmx@reddit

I’ve been going through the exact same thing; only difference being that it was not a marriage but a long term relationship

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RestaurantCapable713@reddit

Different chefs have cooking and tasting classes at Whole Foods. I signed up on Eventbrite and they send emails. Seems pretty 😎

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tooheavybroo@reddit

Aye bro, I went through something similar. Once my wife ex wife filed for divorce her entire side of the family / friends left me. I never even got a text asking if I was okay.

If you need someone to shoot the shit with to keep distracted, DM me brother. Shit can be lonely, but it doesn’t have to be.

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1189Carter@reddit (OP)

I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you

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thechairman77@reddit

You are not alone friend. Shop around and find a coffee/tea shop, a bar, and a nice restaurant that you love. Enjoy the next few weeks or months of finding them. Go back regularly just enjoy being alone. Then start learning the staff’s name, and the other regulars. Now you have friends or at least people who have to listen, three places that are your own “Cheers” that you can impress other friends or dates, and three places you know you will always be taken care of. Good luck.

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awkward_mallard@reddit

I went through something similar when I speared with a 10+ year partner. I literally never heard from our friends who were more his again. It sucks but please know you're not alone in experiencing this and it DOES get better, it just takes a while to develop a new normal. I started volunteering at an animal shelter to fill up the time and honestly I liked the cats more anyways. :)

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1189Carter@reddit (OP)

I’ve been spending more time at my work talking with my families more during drop off and pickup. It’s nice to hear how they’re doing outside of the school.

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Natasha5145@reddit

Do you have hobbies? There are groups all over for various common interests. I’m thinking about exploring a restaurant nearby that does “friendly” bingo nights. But I’m old(er) most likely than you are.

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Western-Pay521@reddit

Been there, done that. Used to go out 5 nights a week. All those “friends” = gone. Doesn’t matter if you were at their house Christmas/Thanksgiving. You’re out all of a sudden. I went to a divorce support group for a while, then asked myself why I was sitting home alone. I started dating again, even though I was told not to. Life is too short.

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soxyboy71@reddit

Join a rec league game of some sort for ur city. Fishing, group bike rides, running groups, etc. Bucks has staff that can make u feel loved in the short term lol.

Chin up, tis but a season life.

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