Todays rations. Apple/raisin/cheddar burritos at 6am, beans, rice, and cheddar at 3pm. 1850 calories for the day.

I got a grape arbor and grow st theresa grapes in my yard (a varieny of concord grapes). Its a structure made of cedar poles with vines growing up it.

I also use wild grapes to make a very tart jelly. Gotta boil em and strain em, mostly seeds.

But in this case they were from Little packets of rasins the food pantry gave to a friend if mine last year, they don't eat rasins so they gave them to me.

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HuntingForSanity@reddit

Doesn’t mean I’m gonna eat that shit. Weirdos

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No_Eulogies_for_Bob@reddit

And he’s in north country nys I believe so that tracks

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SevenVeils0@reddit

You can’t convince me that it doesn’t.

A favorite breakfast of mine is:

Toast a slice of bread (raisin bread or seeded whole gain are my favorites here, but any bread works).

Put a handful of fresh or frozen blueberries on top.

Sprinkle an ounce of sharp cheddar over the top.

Bake or broil until the blueberries are cooked and the cheese is melted.

Optional: add tiny dollops of good bitter-orange marmalade all over as it comes out of the oven.

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No_Eulogies_for_Bob@reddit

Always look forward to your posts. Did you make the tortillas yourself?

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

Got enough poplar and pine firewood in my shed to last the next 7 years based on typical -40 weather all February, up to 10 years if we get mild winters.

And thats if i only keep the cabin at a low 78f all winter

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78f… I would have a heat stroke (literally). It doesn’t even get anywhere near that hot in high summer where I live (coast of Oregon). We hit 80 f for an average of three days every three years. Which sounds like it’s weirdly phrased, but I’ve been here for 18 years and that has held up.

I’m also in a popular tourist destination, and it’s amusing to drive through the harbor during high summer on a warm 64 f day, because the tourists are all in jackets and scarves while the locals are in T-shirts or tank tops and shorts. Standing in line all intermingled, for fish and chips or another of our casual seafood restaurants (they all have a few tables, but most people get takeout even before Covid existed).

I grew up in a suburb on the coast north of San Diego, and the temperatures there in the middle of winter are the same as the summer temperatures here.

It’s paradise here, I only wish that it got a bit colder during winter, some snow would be the icing on the cake.

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No_Eulogies_for_Bob@reddit

That’s sweet. I love wood stoves. Grew up having to start a fire when I got home from school every day from the woods from our property. Pine kind of sucks but it’s easy to cut

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External_Two2928@reddit

What is the dark liquid? Where is it coming from?

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cityshepherd@reddit

Thank you, I was too scared to ask about the seemingly extra viscous and brown enchilada sauce

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External_Two2928@reddit

Loll I had to ask bc in no way could those ingredients create that color sauce😆

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

3 tablespoons of grade b maple syrup

Its cut with silver maple sap which has more of a molasses flavor to it, so has an unconventional taste (hybrid between maple syrup and molasses) and would be rated as grade b cooking syrup.

I made 14 gallons this spring, the last batch i added silver maple to. They run excessively but only at the very end of the season.

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Tru3insanity@reddit

Why is it so wet tho?

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

Easier to eat with a fork, all the maple syrup would just drip all down my beard and shirt if i tried to eat with my hand

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SuperDizz@reddit

I appreciate the candor

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orangeleast@reddit

All of your food has a distinct lack of bread. Make a sourdough starter and start baking some loaves of bread.

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

I did in the past but its a good way to gain weight from overloading carbs. Since my logging injury i don't burn em like i used to. Back then i could loose 1.5lbs body fat in a day. Estimate 18,000 calories for my most extreme work days in winter. So had to gorge constantly.

These days im very sedentary so watch the carbs.

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MannyOmega@reddit

I don’t think you understand how calories work… if you’re counting your calories anyways you’re not randomly gonna gain weight just from eating carbs.

The bigger thing is, I can’t believe you used 18k calories in a day, that sounds fucking absurd. I don’t even think olympic swimmers have that type of caloric intake.

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

I specified extreme.

That was my calculation for walking to town in january of 2019. I had no coat, it was -10f. It was 20 miles each way, 5 hours each way. I could not stop and had used excertion to stay warm though was hypothetmic when i got to town and sat an hour on the floor under the heat vent in a dollar general.

I lost 2 belt holes doing that trip.

The week before i had walked up to the rez and dropped off 3 dozen eggs at a friends office as a late Christmas gift. On the way home my old boss saw me and offered me a ride. I was wearing my old hazmat team coat (was issued 2, plus 2 tribal forestry jackets). My old boss said domething at a meeting afterwards and the tribes hr threatened me with legal action if i didn't return my sweat stained faded old work coats (all the coats i had). Multiple calls from old coworkers. So i walked up and turned them in. So i had no coat at all for winter and less than $50 to my name as i had loaned a former friend all the money i had to help him with a truck problem under a signed agreement he would repay me $100 per week at no interest. He fucked me over. I walked to town hoping to find something cheap, no thrift stores in the area so i got a heavy bath robe for $10 and that was my coat for the winter, like an old capote coat.

Got the $4000 back in may when the law was involved.

Anyway i calculated based on numbers i got off internet for miles, temperature, etc that i burned 18,000 calories that day.

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wordskis@reddit

You are a fascinating person

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ProfessionalCurve639@reddit

Tour de France cyclists might be racing for 6 hours and consume up to 7-9k calories a day. I’m also curious

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captainshockazoid@reddit

what do you mean apple raisin cheddar burritos

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

I didn't invent the recipe, just modified it from a magazine i read in the late 1900s. They called it burritos

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lessdothisshit@reddit

The late 1900s

Are you aware you're a comedic genius?

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

I did not come up with it. I saw it elsewhere on reddit and thought it was hilarious. Genz or gena use it to refer to the 90s and millennials take offense, im among the oldest millenials, or xennial (closer to gen x. Born in 82). I know im middle age but others my age get offended when i say were middle aged. Similarly boomers i know get offended being called seniors, they claim they are still middle age while retired and in their 70s.

Given i live the way i do people online sometimes accuse me of trolling and playing 1800s homesteader like a method actor role, so i found another layer of humor in the way that phrase sounds.

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SevenVeils0@reddit

I was born in 1967, firmly GenX down to the Mohawk and combat boots in the 80s. I know that I’m old, I don’t understand people’s denial of obvious facts such as their stage of life.

Your way of life sounds like heaven to me (except for your preferred indoor temperature), I’ve lived not entirely dissimilarly in the past- off the grid, etc although you are further off grid than I ever was.

I’ve mentioned this before, but I didn’t look to see whether you had replied- should you ever be interested in selling a little bit of your syrup, I would love to get the opportunity to try it. It sounds like exactly my preference. It’s hard for me to find maple syrup that is as dark as I like it. Especially since they changed the grading system for it.

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

I saw. I would not sell it. I don't have a large supply. I give some away as Christmas gifts in adition to what i use. Plus each year is hit and miss, last year there was no sap run, went from too cold to too warm. So had none for a year till i made more this past spring. No idea if i will tap this coming spring or not, i have enough for 2 years.

I make it the old way with buckets and a pan over a fire. The brown is from caramelized sugars burning to the side of the pan from the boiling foam. Commercial operations dont do that. Old way is very labor intense and time consuming but requires no technology. Takes 2 hours a day to collect the buckets (i put up 80 this year) maybe a week to get enough sap to fill a barrel, 3 days boiling it down to make syrup at 10-12 hours per day. About 25 gallons sap per gallon syrup. Must be well below freezing at night and well above in the day for a good flow so may only get 2 days a week with good flow. That 14 gallons i made was 7 weeks with 2 hours per day of collecting and 3-4 days a week boiling all day long. I calculated it to be 80 hours work per 5 gallons of syrup, To say nothing of the firewood. Used about 2 cords of pine firewood for all that. The old way is good for personal use if someone has the time (poor mans sugar, no money, no equipment, just labor) but not economically viable.

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SharpyButtsalot@reddit

Are you ageless? Do you remember the late 17, or 1800s?

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captainshockazoid@reddit

you may not have invented it but youre eatinG it

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BottleFeathers703@reddit

ok honestly. i might make my own take on the burrito lol. i once had an apple, brie and honey pizza and it was literally the most divine thing i have ever put in my mouth

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SevenVeils0@reddit

I love paper thin slices of apples and chunks of Brie on a regular, tomato sauced pizza. Usually with salami and mushrooms.

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AppUnwrapper1@reddit

That sounds like a miserable way to live but you do you.

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SevenVeils0@reddit

It’s not actually necessary to comment every thought that you have.

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beyx2@reddit

There is something so beautiful about this

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SevenVeils0@reddit

Right?

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Kev42o4o8@reddit

It doesn’t have to be this way :(

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SevenVeils0@reddit

But it can be, and not everyone regards that as a bad thing.

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No_Eulogies_for_Bob@reddit

Sometimes it does

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CommercialBubbly961@reddit

Rations? Eats a normal amount of calories.

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

I clarified this to a few people already. Due to nerve damage from a logging injury i can't feel hunger or full. Can forget to eat for a week or overeat and spew like a water balloon. I have no internal means to self regulate so i schedule eating and calories needed so i get what i need and don't become obese.

Controlled, preplanned food allocation is best summer up as "ration"

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CurlySquareBrace@reddit

Are all your meals constructed from shelf stable food

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

Naw. I use fresh stuff when i got it.

Eating the same today (use up the open jar of apple filling and the open cheese. Once open it goes bad within 2-5 days depending on time of year. Its cool now so its at the longer time. No fridge, no car, 20 miles to town, and it hurts to walk so i rarelly go fir supplies).

Going to post something i ate months ago that everyone here should love. Made blts in july with homegrown lettuce, tomatoes, and a jar of home canned bacon. Mmm-mmm looks as shitty as it sounds but tastes ok.

Might dig up old pictures of other crazy things i made since everyone here gets the lolz from them and i get lolz reading the comments

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philip8421@reddit

He has no fridge so probably

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birdsinthecorner@reddit

I thought the first pic was chee cheong fun (steamed rice rolls) cause of how moist it was...

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Federal_Pickles@reddit

gif

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AlligatorFister@reddit

More like foodthatwillmakeyoushitporn. That first pic is fucking horrendous.

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AlligatorFister@reddit

Fun fact: I made this an actual sub because why the fuck not?

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CassT16@reddit

I’m joining it. Maybe someone will post in it😂

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AlligatorFister@reddit

Explosive growth!

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Emotional_Link3281@reddit

what the hell

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TheMysticReferee@reddit

I fucking love opening Reddit and seeing the ration man

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General_Spills@reddit

I thought that was Chang fen at first lol

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Main-Emphasis-2692@reddit

Just stalked your page and u are very interesting. Pages like urs makes me want to know what u look like lol

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zh_13@reddit

I also just went thru every single food photo this man has posted. Could not look away, it’s like slow motion train wreck

But also kudos for him sounds like he’s making the best of it and doing well (?)

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

I am thinking of posting on r/roast me. May as well do that now lol.

Middle aged, lots of scars, bad teeth, glasses and bald, reddish beard with a few grey hairs. Look like i should be in the remake of deliverence.

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No_Eulogies_for_Bob@reddit

wtf why did they remove it?! I saw it before they removed it. You actually look very friendly and not at all inbred lol

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

Says something about not having a bio

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No_Eulogies_for_Bob@reddit

Weird. Maybe they just need a sentence or two but I thought your title was pretty detailed

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

I read all their rules and don't see anything about a bio. I do see another about requiring the arm holding the sign to be visible, maybe thats it, they are unclear about it. I messaged the mods asking for clarification but doubt i will hear back. I took another picture to try again with my arm in view, it was very hard to do given my lack of flexibility with my metal spine, holding the camera out and at an angle to see my other arm. Frankly I'm in a lot more pain from taking that picture than anything anyone says on reddit will do.

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

Ok, arm in view got same result. Not sure whats going on with it.

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Main-Emphasis-2692@reddit

Aw dang i missed it

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nehla01@reddit

i can only imagine how good all this must taste. did ya reach your calorie goals?

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

That was my estimate for the day based on the packaging of stuff that came in packaging, and a calculated guess for the rest.

I have no goal per sae, i cannot feel hunger so have no internal mechanism for telling when i need to eat ir if i ate too much. Over eating and i gain weight, under eat and i can faint to the floor (its happened a few times after a week forgetting to eat).

I try to get whst i need for the day, no more, no less.

Its due to spine damage after a logging injury, half my spines bolted together now. The nerves were severed when they put that metal in me. Overall the doctors said i was inhuman for surviving st all, let alone walking agsin within 2 weeks , but there are difficulties becsuse of it

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nehla01@reddit

can i message you? i'm very curious about your story. i'm glad you're still here and kicking!

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

Im not sure how to use messages on my browser.

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nehla01@reddit

ah no worries! i hope you continue to show us your meals

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lessdothisshit@reddit

Mods, sticky this post. Read his comments, this is legendary.

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Subject-Owl-3682@reddit

The type of shit my buddy would make when he used to be addicted to Xanax

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Yes2Knope@reddit

Really enjoy your posts, you have some great creativity and do well with what you have.

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ApolloAuto@reddit

As the economic tide turns against the working class I can see this sub exploding in posts. This will be an interesting study for data rats in the near (sad) future. That said - the calories are enough to keep you going and about as diverse food groups you can possibly get. Keep on living OP. That's how you win.

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8bitrevolt@reddit

hey buddy. are you okay?

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NotElongtusk2@reddit

are you being held captive somewhere or in dire need of financial aide?

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

Lol

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CallMeMarcus@reddit

This is definitely an outlier from your usual meals. Gonna have to pass on this one...

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UnrelatedCutOff@reddit

The tortillas are wet!

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

Yeah. I put them in a pie tin. Pour some water on them. Cover with tin foil. Then heat with a stovetop folding oven. Makes them softer and easier to eat with a fork.

I used to use syrup but it carmalizes to the pan where the tortillas are not. So i do water for the heating and add a smaller amount of syrup after. Cuts calories too given less syrup is used.

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Ice_Cream_Warrior@reddit

gif

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maddoggunner53@reddit

I am literally crying at work from this, no one come to my office hahahahaha

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Ismellpu@reddit

Everything this man says is absolute insanity.

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

Thanks 😋

I do tend to be a bit daffy

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UnrelatedCutOff@reddit

Oof

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spyaleatoire@reddit

I'm going to think of you until the day I die for this one.

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lilfreaksh0w@reddit

what is your job? you eat twice a day, with an early dinner. just curious of what requires this focus on nutrition rather than (imo) what would be appetizing

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

I live in a cabin off grid, no refrigeration available. Im a farmer/homesteader so am my own boss (don't have much expenses helps, like $200 per month living expenses)

I was a tribal forester in the past overseeing logging and tree planting etc. march 2021 a tree fell on me, broke all my ribs, crushed my lungs, broke 9 vertebrae, etc. half my spine bolted together now (cervic and thoracic) can walk but it hurts, cant feel my left side ehich means i can't feel hungrr nor full. I can literally forget to eat for a week or eat till i blow like an overloaded baloon. So i have to schedule eating so i don't firget again and watch calories so i don't become obese from being mostly sedentary now. Plus no refrigerator or vehicle means only 1 trip to town with a friend per month, git to plan so stuff doesnt spoil (like this cheddar can keep 6-8 weeks in cool weather but turns in a week at most in hot weather).

I do what i can but thats limited so i got a lot of sitting around down Time.

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Extrabytes@reddit

Man you have a really interesting account, living as a hermit in the woods, sketching stuff, reading, making abominable food. I am young now but this seems like the kind of life I would live in 10-15 years or so. I hope you are well and enjoying yourself.

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Ok-Hunt-102@reddit

Nah! For me would have been zero calories for the day and my dog just nodded yes when he saw what I wrote. We’d both have gone to bed hungry.

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bewareofb0b@reddit

:( can I cook for you

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cottonycloud@reddit

I thought it was Chinese rice noodle roll lol

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Nekrosis666@reddit

You are an interesting man. Please continue posting these creations, I'm intrigued.

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Electronic_Laugh_760@reddit

On the plus side at least you can draw.

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irrevocable_discord9@reddit

i make small home burritos like this for most of my meals. So I approve!

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Dangerous-Courage412@reddit

I literally hate you

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

Thanks :)

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit (OP)

I did not create the recipe myself. I modified it.

I read it in an issue of backwoodsman magazine in the late 1900s. The original called for making 8-10 at once, just filled with apple and cheese, then 2 cups water with rasins and brown sugar, bring to a boil and pour over the burritos in a casserole pan then bake for an hour and a half until the water is condensed to a thick glaze like syrup. And the tortillas are soggy and soaked with syrup.

I don't want to use the amount of propane needed for that kind of batch nor have cold soggy left overs. Nor did i have an oven available until 2019. So i modified it to work as a smaller batch, put the rasins inside rather than on top.

The guy who had it in the magazine prompted it as something for hunting camp breakfasts.

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JDangle20@reddit

The word “recipe” doing some heavy lifting here.