Things to do

• Piss disk (pee on plate, freeze it, deliver under door or throw like frisbee)
• Liquid ass (prank product)
• Milk injection (Inject milk into furniture)
• “The Pilk” (piss and milk combo, for special cases only)
• Instant mashed potatoes on yard. NAMBLA signup.
• Solar Panel Quotes.
• Scientology Signup
• Unitology Signup
• Lending Tree signup.
• Payday Loan Quotes.
• Health Insurance Marketplace.
• Donate on their behalf to one of the political campaign sides.
• Donate to your local jehovahs witnesses in their name.
• Contact Westboro Baptist Church for material, telling them that you're gay.
• Get as many free quote no obligation window blind fittings.
• Send as many undertakers to their door, for the funeral of the name of the target.
• If you've got their phone number, put an ad in their local Craigslist for a freaky kinky escort, measurements 38-28-34.
• If you've got their phone number, put an ad in their local Craigslist for a freaky kinky escort, measurements 58-68-28.
• Put an obituary in their local paper for them, be as creative as possible. Add stuff in like "they loved dogs, probably and uncomfortably a little too much", "for some strange reason they would break out in a cold sweat every time they passed a school". Someone who knows them will read it I'm sure.
• Put their phone number and email into lending tree (immediately receive 4-5 calls)
• Request services to them on taskrabbit
• Mulch delivery
• Sleep with someone important to them (parents usually)
• Brick through window.
• Motion activated sprinkles.
• Baby shark on repeat.
• Call the police you saw a gun/heavy drug use.
• put a sock on your baseball bat before assaulting someone, so if they grab it they only get the sock.
• Bake them a cake with goose shit. Not so much goose shit that it’s obvious. Just enough that they might still eat it all and get moderately sick.
• Pour a bunch of salt in their fertilizer. All their plants and yard will die.
• Tell her how arousing her antics are.
• Contact the church of scientology pretending to be him and give them all of his information. Do it with every cult you an find. Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses. MLM schemes. Everybody.
• Good idea to invest in air horns

Car stuff

• Flat tires
• Brake fluid makes car paint fall off
• Diesel exhaust fluid (get at autozone or similar) in regular gas tank.
• iron bars from hardware store. Lay them out in the middle of the road. People going a normal speed will just roll right over them while speeders will pick them up and fuck up their wheels.
• Capacisin oil spray on car door handle
• You and your neighbors start parking on the street, both sides, so it creates a bottleneck.
• ride on your bike with a dozen phones with Waze on to simulate traffic jam
• Lipstick on the windows covered with duct tape.
• Pay some homeless to shit his car handle 3 days a week for 2 years
• Buy a pack of stick on wheel balancing weights. Stick them on. Give them a gift they can really feel.
• Put a bike lock on a rim.
• I just throw food on the car and let the birds do the rest.
• To get a car to stop tailgating you. I take that opportunity to clean my windshield with the washer fluid button. The expensive car behind me HATES getting my dirty normal person car juice on them and always backs off.
• Tailgate - I drive on the shoulder a little bit kicking up rocks (common CDL tactic)

To avoid getting caught

• Wear shoes different size than your own
• Glove with six fingers (AI)
• Other prosthetics
• Leave your phone at home with netflix open playing a movie
• Pay in cash, wear a mask (like the covid ones), consider sunglasses or a hat as well. Throw out the receipt as soon as you leave, preferably right outside the store if there’s a trash can there. If not, burn it at home or take it to a gas station that you don’t go to and isn’t on any of your normal routes and throw it out there.
• Get a fake tattoo in an obvious place while you cover everything else on your body like wear a mask, a hat and glasses and leave your arm exposed with this fake removable tattoo.
• put the horseshoes on backwards so it looks like your horse is going the opposite direction
• Skinny people should also wear multiple bulky layers to change the shape and silhouette of their body.
• Some law enforcement has also narrowed down who they’re looking at based on body movements, gait, and posture.
• Most people subconsciously move very rigidly, or very fluidly. Becoming aware of this and practicing switching between the two can be very useful.