Struggling living in Australia as an American

Posted by EmploymentOk2028@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 50 comments

So I’ve lived in Australia for 3 years and a half. I moved here from Denver USA. I am a POC of and honestly after 3.5 years living in Perth I’m struggling. The first two years I was optimistic and tried as much as possible to enjoy the good things Perth has to offer. But now, I don’t know if I can actually stay here. Through my time here, I’ve experienced racism, racial micro aggression when I would go shopping or out in public. Those incidents would affect me more than I would like to admit. I recently started a new job & my colleagues said there’s no way you’re American, you don’t have the accent. I felt so upset because it’s like I had to prove that I was African American to them & then they compared my accent to another American girl in the office. To make things worse, I’ve struggled to make friends and I just feel far from home and isolated. I’m torn because my husband is Australia and loves it here. I also know the climate of things in America so I don’t know what to do. Australia has a lot to offer but when it comes to the racism and lack of friendliness it’s enough for me to go. I want the best for my family but I know how things are in America. I do miss the friendliness and diversity of America. Any advice from someone who experienced the same thing would be great.

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Mr_Lumbergh@reddit

I’m not a POC but I do feel a bit of anti-American sentiment with everything going on. I’m sure there’s an additional layer on top of that for your situation, that sort of BS is being normalized everywhere now whereas before aholes at least understood they needed to keep it to themselves.

I was miserable here myself when I got back. The city my job landed me in was just not a good vibe. I recently moved and am a lot happier; my work commute is an hour 15 now but it’s worth it on the days I have to go in to the office. Before giving up on it completely, a change of locale might be the thing for you. I find there is quite a wide range of difference in people’s acceptance of others based on location, like in the US but more extreme because population is so concentrated.

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SeanBourne@reddit

Plenty of Aussies are/were pretty anti-American even prior to Trump. Much like Canada it’s a bit of a complex they have. It’s the Australian government that’s pro-US, not the people.

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Mr_Lumbergh@reddit

I haven’t found that to be the case until recently.

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legsjohnson@reddit

I found it pretty bad back when Bush the second was president, randoms would approach me in public to complain about him when they heard me speak.

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Mr_Lumbergh@reddit

Whinging about Dubya is different than being blatantly anti-American though.

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SeanBourne@reddit

Agreed. What I’m referring to is a substantial portion of aussies being anti-American as in the people, not the government/politician du jour. It’s pretty broad and has been going on for a long time. I come off pretty ‘international’ (I was born in Canada, my parents are from the UK, travel a lot, etc., etc.), so I think they feel comfortable sharing this particular opinion.

pricel01@reddit

America right now is not the place to go to escape racism.

Unhappy_Performer538@reddit

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this! Sometimes your job environment can ruin your entire experience of a place. If you can change jobs you might feel a lot better. Also moving to one of the bigger cities might give you more opportunities for connection

BeraRane@reddit

my colleagues said there’s no way you’re American, you don’t have the accent.

Honestly this seems like they were complimenting you more than anything else.

Practical-Fig-27@reddit

It may be the way that they worded this, but since you're not in their workplace I don't think you have the right to comment on what somebody else meant based on how somebody wrote it out on a Reddit post. I'm pretty sure that the person in the situation knows more about it than some Rando

KartFacedThaoDien@reddit

………………………………………….. That’s a compliment???

Most people from the western hemisphere will take it as "You're accent is really clear and understandable" but I understand that in 2025 America everything and anything is a "micro aggression".

Uhhhh... Maybe a lot of people from the western hemisphere are racist then

rhyme_pj@reddit

lol yea as somebody who has lived in Aus for decades I thought that’s a compliment as well.

"You're accent is clear and easily understandable"

"IS THAT A MICRO AGRRESSION?!?!?!"

Get the F out of here lol.

FantasticalRose@reddit

It sounds like a micro aggression honestly. Making her jump through hoops to prove herself for their own amusement

A reply so American it made me cringe.

I'm from Scotland and abroad almost always the first comments are about my accent.

Instead of crying about micro aggressions and feeling the "need to prove myself" you know what I do?

I have a laugh and joke with the person.

Outrageous I know...

Mysteriouskid00@reddit

If you go looking for “microagressions” you’ll be sure to find them

I see you have never dealt with mean girls. It only happened to me once but I'll never forget it.

Educational_Creme376@reddit

I hate that word.

So I am not black and I do not live in Australia so I can't give you any insight in that respect. But it sounds like you're feeling very torn between several situations right now and my best advice to you would be to sit down with your family and right out the pros and cons of staying or going and the hurdles that you would have to overcome to move and the positive things that might happen if you did.

I guess what I'm saying is it sounds very much like you are in a panicky kind of very emotional state and feeling very overwhelmed. I would recommend taking a step back from the situation and addressing it logically. You might try making a list today and then a couple weeks from now or a month from now. Compare the feelings and the pros and cons over a bit of time.

I am very sorry that you are going through what you are going through. I don't think anybody commenting on your experience of reality who is not in your shoes has the right to say that you are mistaken about what you are seeing or feeling or experiencing.

Kiwiatx@reddit

I think your first mistake was moving to Perth… It literally IS isolated. That said, Australia’s diversity is different to the US, it has a lower POC population and higher mix of Asian, Indian and Polynesian ethnicities. Can you move to the east coast - Melbourne & Sydney are real cities and much less provincial in the way locals think.

I would like to second this and add I've run into a handful of African American immigrants during my time in Melbourne who all said they felt comfortable here. Obviously anecdotal but I thought worth mentioning.

NoCoversJustBooks@reddit

How did that work, exactly? You just asked strangers, who happened to be African Americans, if they were comfortable in your country? And they said yes? What did you think would happen?

I get into conversations with other Americans who've moved here frequently and I don't think "how do you find it?" is that weird of a question to come up.

Right, but would you expect someone to open up about something that can be such a hot button topic? When you ask, “how do you find it?” I don’t think it works that way.

I don't know what to tell you, it's come up a couple times over several decades 🤷

It may. I just don’t think it’s a valid test, so to speak. These are intimate, multivariate experiences that would have to trust telling to a stranger. Now let’s say they do find Australians racist or whatever, do you think they’d tell someone who - based on their experiences - may very well be like the people who would have driven that conclusion?

As I said in my original comment, it's anecdotal and OP can take it however they want to ✌️

BirdBarrister@reddit

I mentioned the same to OP on another post. My entire time there I felt most comfortable in Victoria, including Melbourne.

baby_budda@reddit

What about the aboriginal people? They're black.

I lived in Sydney for a year or so and saw an aboriginal maybe once.

They were playing a musical instrument on the street.

sndgrss@reddit

A didgeridoo? Yeah I know who you mean. That guy at Circular Quay right?

I’ve lived in Sydney almost 6 years now, and that sounds about right. Was the person you saw in Circular Quay by chance?

honkeypie@reddit

I was on a trip to Sydney last month and saw an aboriginal person preforming some sort of a musical show in Circular Quay

I’m pretty sure they were in Darlinghurst road in Kings Cross or further towards Potts Point. There was a park there near to the supermarket. Been a few years now so I could be off.

I lived in Oz for a year. I can count on less than one hand the number of Aboriginal people I saw.

They are less than 4% of the total population of Australia

UltraCitron@reddit

NZ is the same from my observation. But damn they do a good job of marketing it as some sort of progressive haven.

RabbitsAreFunny@reddit

As a brown Brit who lived in NZ for a while I can confirm. I found it more racist than Europe personally, reminded me of growing up in the UK during the 80s.

Aus and NZ (and Canada) talk a big game about diversity, but really aren’t great in actual integration.

America is the melting pot - the Anglo countries are more like ‘tossed salads’.

Humble_Hat_7160@reddit

Try asking in r/ameristralia - but I suspect as others have said this would be less of an issue in Melbourne or Sydney

Choccy_Orange@reddit

would husbando consider moving to africa

Disastrous-Spell-573@reddit

I grew up in Perth for 30 years but haven't lived there for 20 years.
Sorry to hear you're experiencing racism. One thing I have noticed in Perth is the large amount of homeless/begging/methheads on the streets of the city. I grew up in the 80s as a teenager and cannot remember anyone like that (except an acid affected madman on a bike called Adrian who used to cycle across the causeway every day into the city shouting at cars).
Unfortunately there is an undereducated minority in Perth (as I am sure there is in any country). Lacking empathy and too high on nationalism and machismo. Arrogant f*ckers.
In every country I've lived and worked (Singapore, Vietnam, Thailand and Saudi) I find racism
I am English (originally) and caucasian.
But every ethnicity I've met has an element that looks down on different ethnicities. Sad.
I have worked in the Kimberley in an Aboriginal community and in suburbs all over Perth.
Lived in Sydney for 9 years.
There are ignorant racist idiots all over the place.
It is hard to make friends as well once you are older - learned that from experience.
No suggestions I'm afraid or advice, but wish you well. I will retire in the EU as my wife is from there and has a house there. WIll be interesting at that age moving to a place where I'll rely on her friendship circle to make new friends.
If I move anywhere in Australia, I'd move to the Sunshine COast in QLD. QLD does seem to host a higher percentage of racist idiots but the weather and housing/lifestyle looks far superior than my old hometown.

Professional_Elk_489@reddit

What does your accent sound like?

Sometimes I've had Australians say I don't say Australian and Brits say I sound British - I think it's because of how my accent sounds tho

FrauAmarylis@reddit

I think you’re nuts thinking you’d be treated poorly in the US.

No_Passage6082@reddit

No American says "three years and a half" or "Denver USA".

Pale-Candidate8860@reddit

You should talk to your husband about moving to Melbourne or Sydney. You might be a lot happier there. Way different type of people.

CharmingHighlight749@reddit

Just sending positive vibes. I am mixed American and used to live in Australia, and the daily questions about my skin color, accent, where I am really from, if my kids are actually mine were all so much to process. Australia is not more or less racist than the US, it is just racist in a different way. Having spent a lot of time traveling the world, every place is good and bad in its own way. Talk to your husband.

kindanewherebut@reddit

What does your husband like about Perth? Maybe instead of moving back to the US, you move somewhere else. To another city or another country.