ULPT Request - how do I tell my (now ex) that I'm pregnant?

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I think there are two important questions that we need answered before we can give the best advice. One, what is your reason for wanting to tell him? I assume it’s not because you want him back (and if you do I would really reconsider). If it’s that you want his help, you don’t even have to do anything unethical. Just take it to court if he won’t cooperate. The second, I assume you want to keep the baby? If so, see above. If not, screw him. He doesn’t need to know anything. And telling him, in that case, would likely make things worse

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whiskeyvagabond420@reddit (OP)

He totally fucked up my life. Left while I was really sick recently and couldn't work for a week, and I lost one of my jobs because of that. He knew that making rent was already tight and even if I still had both jobs I wouldn't be able to afford it without him. We just resigned the lease a month ago (if he knew he wanted to leave, why sign a lease), now I'm screwed, and possibly going to be homeless or have to find a much cheaper (pretty much non existent in my area) place to live on short notice, and winters are harsh where I live. I also have a bit of debt in my name he very much contributed to (I know, I screwed myself on this one but we'd been engaged for over a year when I agreed to it and things were going great). Plus now I'm pregnant. So I have a lot of bs to deal with and every day is a struggle, while he's living in blissful ignorance at his grandmother's house rent free and well fed, working side gigs for beer money. If I'm reminded constantly of how much he screwed me over, I want him to have some sort of reminder too

He also swore he'd never get a woman pregnant then leave, like his dad did. I want him to know that's exactly what he did.

Not sure if I'm keeping it yet, so far I've done like everything you're not supposed to do while pregnant (stopped doing those things when I found out) and I'm not sure how that's affected the early development so I'll find out when I go to the dr later this week. Also he's very much on the pro life side of that matter, so he'd probably be upset if I didn't keep it (not that I care at this point)

It's petty, I know. But I'm super pissed off and want him to know, I'm just not sure how to ensure he gets the news in the worst way possible.

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Alternative_Ad_3649@reddit

If you decide not to keep it-after you terminate, I would let the grandmother know, bc that would shatter her. Also of course, this is dependent on what state you live in-if you live in a state where it’s illegal to abort, I would just keep this information to yourself in order to avoid the ex and grandmother getting you in legal trouble.

If you choose to keep the pregnancy, there are a lot of resources to help pregnant moms, including housing since you’re at risk of homelessness and of course medical support during gestation.

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whiskeyvagabond420@reddit (OP)

That's kinda what I'm thinking...terminate (totally legal where I am) then tell her. He blocked my number so I'll call her and let her tell him the news, and I know he'll never hear the end of it from her for "letting me do that to his child". She wants to relentlessly harass me over text? (her usual mo, shes a lot of talk, rarely any action) I'll just block her number

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bc60008@reddit

Get an abortion THEN tell Grams he INSISTED that you get rid of it. That's it. That's your answer. That's what you do. In that order. And QUICKLY.

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AdRegular1647@reddit

OP just has to be very careful. Being financially dependent on such a man, especially if grandma wants to take the baby, can ruin one's life. Child custody cases, especially in red states are nightmarish. Best bet is to get prenatal health care and speak to a clinician about the health concerns. If there's not a good support network then work to build one. Consider moving to a new area and changing contact info. Dude is an inconsiderate man baby.

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spotpea@reddit

He didn't get you pregnant and leave. He left and you found out. Your level of vengeance here makes me concerned if you have the child they will bear the brunt of your anger and resentment for their lifetime. Terminate the pregnancy and find therapist to help with these feelings before they eat you alive

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whiskeyvagabond420@reddit (OP)

Ironically that's how he came into this world, his dad left his mom right before she found out she was pregnant. She told him and he vanished completely, never knew his kid but knew he had a kid. So yeah, it's pretty much exactly what his dad did and he swore he'd never do the same, so I want him to know (even if I take the likely route of terminating it)

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spotpea@reddit

Look I get this sub is about being in the moment and looking for some extra evil ways for vengeance but that ain't this. F#&$&ing around with pregnancy, core values like when life starts, etc. for someone who made it clear they didn't see this working ling term, regardless of how poorly they handled it by ghosting you, is some pretty next level psychosis. It is unhealthy for you, your potential child, and a man whom while being a baby about it, did actually let you know that you're not it for him. Clearly you're hurt and that takes time to heal from but this isn't asking about keying his car or signing him up for telemarketers from hell, this is cosmic level horrible revenge stuff that karma will likely kick your a$$ for. Step back from this and look objectively at what you're trying to accomplish here. Then ask for help with this anger.

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elizajaneredux@reddit

You’re enraged for good reason, but don’t make a potentially risky decision on your acute anger. Involving him, especially if that includes actively trying to scare and humiliate him, will deeply complicate your life and start your kid’s life with a ton of unnecessary drama (unless you plan to abort).

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Ok_Childhood_9774@reddit

You need therapy, not a baby.

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BrownEyedGurl1@reddit

You are in no position to have a baby and i think it would be irresponsible. Telling him means nothing, he won't help you. Pro lifers turn pro abortion quick in situations like this. Also his grandmother might try to get him to take the baby from you, and honestly it would probably work if you are homeless. What's your plan for childcare? Child support won't be much of he's barely working. You are digging yourself deeper. Don't get in a hole just to spite him.

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BakedBrie1993@reddit

Why would you even consider raising a child with someone who is unreliable and doesn't want to be around you?

Don't do this to yourself!

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CutsAPromo@reddit

Why would you keep a baby from such a loser? Better to save this for when you meet someone worthy.

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Cheshie213@reddit

I get all of that and it’s genuinely not ok that he did that. On the ethical side, I would start looking into what programs you will be eligible for if you keep the baby. You might be surprised. Even in places that don’t have a ton of support, there is often more than you think. First and foremost is looking out for yourself.

As far as him, imho, the absolute best way to get him the news (if you keep the baby) is actually doing it the legal way. Sure, not every person actually pays child support, but it’s a good start. And, depending on where you are, there are usually repercussions if he doesn’t pay. Look up legal aid for those with low income. The best form of pettiness is the kind that you don’t even have to collect on. Let the law do it

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Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit

Good luck with everything. If you don't have any other supports, or just want or need more, r/AuntieNetwork is full of pro-women's health people. There's also

r/MomForAMinute and\ r/DadForAMinute

If you want some emotional quarterbacking.

No matter what you choose, you've got this. And always remember

You deserve to be loved, and to feel loved, just for being you.' --Mr Rogers mashup with my meditation teacher

n.b. that does NOT mean anyone is obliged to endanger themselves or otherwise subject themselves to less than equal treatment in order to give love to others.

It's not your fault he was too stupid to recognize that you're worth it.

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Latter_Extent2262@reddit

Girllll do not have the abortion! You are not baby trapping him! It takes two to tango and stop letting him control your destiny just cause yall broke up. That baby is going to be so loved whether he is there full of love or not. I hope all goes well

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ActiveBarStool@reddit

what did you do to solicit this behavior from him?

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713nikki@reddit

Why tell him? Just make the appointment.

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whiskeyvagabond420@reddit (OP)

I would want him to know either way. About a year ago he hopped aboard the "life at conception" train and swore he'd never "lose a kid that way" (his words). Petty, yes. But I'd want him to know. And find out in the worst way possible

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Abject-Rich@reddit

Sister…no. He gets nothing. Believe actions. A text? I bet you have suffered plenty already. What he said a year ago don’t matter today, at all.

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Purple_Chipmunk_@reddit

If you must tell him, wait until he has a wife and all that. Otherwise you are just putting yourself in danger. He can find you and hurt you, or worse.

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Far-Adagio-7375@reddit

You will absolutely screw yourself over if you proceed with telling him. He doesn’t need to know any of this. You tell him - he’ll control you. This life at conception shit is all about control of women’s bodies. Just look at his grandmother- she’s filling his head with this. I hope you don’t live in a red state.

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whiskeyvagabond420@reddit (OP)

Luckily I live in a more blue state

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whiskeyvagabond420@reddit (OP)

To clarify, state policy tends to lean socially progressive (lots of protections on women's/abortion rights, etc) but we regularly vote republicans into office (more moderate republican party though, not trump style republicans)

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senditloud@reddit

Until SCOTUS takes away all abortion and all held for single moms and all resources for going after dads for child support are removed and you’re forced to play his game and do what he says just to be able to raise this kid

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BeeFree66@reddit

You realize that voting results can change policies rapidly.

Look at what's been going on in just this year [2025]. Things have gotten really weird.

Don't tell him. Protect yourself.

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BeeFree66@reddit

Blue today. Voting can change that color quickly. Law changes can follow just as quickly.

Don't tell him. Keep yourself safe. Protect yourself.

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serenwipiti@reddit

a more blue state

You are not as safe as you believe. Do not plaster this for him, or his family, to see.

Be wise.

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Jolly_Ad9677@reddit

You said you’re most likely having an abortion. Let’s assume you tell him you are pregnant, and you’re having an abortion. What’s your goal in telling him, and what do you think will happen after you tell him? Now that you’ve thought it through, ask yourself whether you are up for what is likely to follow in that scenario. Do you want that to happen? If I were you, I’d just tell him after the abortion.

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senditloud@reddit

No. Do not FUCKING DO THIS

Do you know the most dangerous time for women is when they are pregnant???? They get killed and harmed a LOT, especially when men do not want the baby with a specific woman. PLEASE look up those stats. And never say never.

This sounds like you either want revenge or want to baby trap him

He’s going down the manosphere rabbit hole and unless you want to invite drama and abuse into your life do not have the baby and do not tell him.

This is an actual recipe for problems. Don’t be dramatic just have an abortion and let this man leave your life

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whiskeyvagabond420@reddit (OP)

I don't want to baby trap him, I'm most likely gonna abort. I just want him to know. Ironically he said in his breakup text that part of why he left is he wanted a kid, and I was told I likely couldn't get pregnant due to a medical condition. I was never entirely opposed to having kids with him (I am now lol) I just wanted to wait until we were in a better financial situation and I could afford fertility care (along with raising said kid). So yeah I guess petty revenge is what I'm going for, even if it's not the most ethical option (hence why I came to this sub)

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Leading-Suspect8307@reddit

What kind of person are you? Because right now, you seem like an idiot who either A) wants him back, or B) wants to get back at him.

Do better, move on, and solve things yourself. You're an adult for Pete's sake.

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senditloud@reddit

I’m saying this with love as a mom to a 24 year old: Do not let him know. Please. It could actually endanger your life.

I do not encourage an ULPT here. It’s actually statistically dangerous

And any man who has gone down the rabbit hole of “life starts at conception” is going to expect very traditional gender roles. Add racism to that and you are looking at a lifetime of abuse (financial, physical, emotional… etc) if he comes back and love bombs you and convinces you to have a kid

Please please please just have an abortion, get therapy and count yourself lucky. This is a learning experience to both learn how to spot bad manipulative men and learn to move on past these relationships.

I wish you well, but it’s not petty revenge to abort the fetus of a man who doesn’t deserve you. It’s life saving. And he will see it as a horrific betrayal that may result in violence

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Healthy_Brain5354@reddit

You are lying to yourself. You’re hoping to get him back in your life this way

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New_Dig_9835@reddit

I get why you are annoyed with him, but it’s not worth it. Make your decision about what you want to do for you. You’ll be opening an unnecessary can of worms by getting him (and likely his family) involved.

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eatingganesha@reddit

Glad to see the update that you’re ending the pregnancy. BUT do not tell him. His grandmother will lose her shit and it’s really none of her business. Who knows what she’d do… I’ve witnessed people like her going fully unhinged and trying to stop the procedure claiming rights. One friend was dealing with police after the grandmother called 911 and told them she was “murdering a baby”. Don’t say a word to anyone.

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Cuneus-Maximus@reddit

Nothing good can come from letting him know. Do you want more drama in your life? Get rid of it, keep him out of your life, and move the fuck on. You gain nothing of value from telling him.

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redrosebeetle@reddit

Tell him after. I’m concerned that if he knew he might become violent and try to prevent you.

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senditloud@reddit

She should NEVER tell him. If she does after he’s likely to come after her. Men down the manosphere rabbit hole can get violent

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uneducatedexpert@reddit

Wow. Real shit human right here.

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panic_bread@reddit

This is just making drama for yourself and putting yourself in danger. Just make the appointment and be done with it.

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scienceislice@reddit

If you are having an abortion and you tell him this fact before you have the abortion he might take measures to stop you and he might be successful. I really think you should decide what you’re going to do, and if that’s an abortion, get the abortion before you tell him. It will be much more satisfying to tell him after the fact, when he can’t do anything about it.

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Fanfare4Rabble@reddit

Why be so reckless and foolish just to get back at a dude that you have long known to have issues? Spite? Really bad idea.

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mfiasco@reddit

Jesus Christ. Please do not tell him this. In his eyes you are confessing to murder. This is not a “gotcha” moment. Men kill women for way less than this, and there’s no telling how far he or his family will go to hurt you. For your own safety please consider what your life is worth. And talk to a therapist. I’m sorry this is happening to you.

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ConcentratePretend93@reddit

That sounds unhealthy. Make an appointment with a therapist too.

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Ok_Childhood_9774@reddit

Why? Do you need more drama and stress in your life? Yes, he's a jerk, but consider yourself well rid of all of him and don't poke the bear.

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90sKid1988@reddit

One of my biggest regrets in life was telling my ex that I was pregnant. He's still not in our lives, but his mother seems to think she deserves new pictures and FaceTime and phone calls every single day. Wish I had kept it to myself since I was already ready to break up. I can only imagine how much worse it would be if he attempted custody (impossible at this point since my husband adopted her).

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StanielReddit@reddit

This is a terrible take. It’s not 100% your child. What if this woman tells her ex and he’s excited to be a father?

You’re suggesting that she take the father away from this child. That’s not her choice. You’re a complete fucking moron.

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senditloud@reddit

That’s a really not very probable “what if”

He’s more than likely going to be mad, angry, frustrated and blame her and think she tried to baby trap him and then get upset at any child support he’s ordered to pay and then use the kid to cause all sorts of issues

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StanielReddit@reddit

Glad to see you’re someone who puts our children first! GO MAGA!

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senditloud@reddit

Men love bomb women too and don’t show their colors so it’s not always apparent who is a loser… just saying

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StanielReddit@reddit

Sure, but this dude never even had a chance. Co-parenting is a thing.

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senditloud@reddit

When you have a reasonable co-parent not one who is racist

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Cuneus-Maximus@reddit

It’s 100% her body, her choice.

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StanielReddit@reddit

Never said it wasn’t, just said that’s a foolish thing to do. Learn to read.

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UnethicalLifeProTips-ModTeam@reddit

Your comment was removed for violating rule 14: No reason to be a dick. Seriously, get therapy or fuck off.

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Cuneus-Maximus@reddit

You just said it's not her choice. But it is, in full.

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UnethicalLifeProTips-ModTeam@reddit

Your comment was removed for violating rule 14: No reason to be a dick. Seriously, get therapy or fuck off.

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UnethicalLifeProTips-ModTeam@reddit

Your comment was removed for violating rule 14: No reason to be a dick. Seriously, get therapy or fuck off.

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BanzaiBurg@reddit

Shut up you fucking loser

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UnethicalLifeProTips-ModTeam@reddit

Your comment was removed for violating rule 14: No reason to be a dick. Seriously, get therapy or fuck off.

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UnethicalLifeProTips-ModTeam@reddit

Your post or comment was removed for violating rule 1: Tips must be unethical, tips that are ethical will be removed.

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mocha_lattes_@reddit

Are you planning on keeping it? Frankly you might want to reconsider given the way he treated you after 4 years together and he left the way he did. But personally I think hitting him with a paternity and CS case is perfectly acceptable given the way he left. Let him think he's moved on with his life before hitting him with a big fat dose of reality while realizing how badly he fucked up by leaving you the way he did and when he did.

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whiskeyvagabond420@reddit (OP)

Not sure, I have been drinking quite a bit lately (before I knew) so I'm not sure how that's affected the whole early development process. If I can I'd like to avoid a whole drawn out court process, there's enough other stressful stuff going on, like I have to find a second full time job now to avoid getting evicted next month (thanks to him)

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Ok_Childhood_9774@reddit

You do not need the financial and emotional stress of trying to raise a child with someone who's already dumped you, especially considering you've been drinking heavily. Having a baby just to get back at someone is a really terrible idea.

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whiskeyvagabond420@reddit (OP)

Yeah definitely wouldn't keep it to "get back at him"

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TriumphDaytona@reddit

Have you considered not telling him and having the baby and give up for adoption? You could possibly find a family to adopt and pay all medical bills etc.

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senditloud@reddit

If he finds out she’s screwed and he could take the baby

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zuklei@reddit

And if he finds out before she can give birth and prevents her from giving it up? That’s a horrible idea.

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senditloud@reddit

You are 24. You potentially have a fetus exposed to a lot of alcohol. The father is ignoring you and broke up with you due to family racism.

Do you REALLY want to bring a child into that dynamic? Assuming he actually engages with you?

I know it’s tempting to be like “haha now you HAVE to deal with me and I’m having your great grand kid.” And there’s always the hope he’ll choose you and the baby.

But he won’t. And it’ll be a mess. And financially a challenge. And your life will be full of drama.

If you are pro-choice I would strongly encourage you not to continue with this. And make that choice sooner than later.

Don’t tell him. Just have an abortion and move on from this toxicity and learn and evolve and find someone worth having babies with.

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Jolly_Ad9677@reddit

I agree with this. I don’t want to be patronizing, but I’m a 50 year old woman, and I made a lot of mistakes when I was younger so I do have some thoughts. To start, the brain is not fully “adult” until at least age 25 so please consider listening to some of the adults here. I imagine you anticipate it’s going to be a nice big fuck you to him when you tell him you’re pregnant, and there’s nothing he can do to prevent you from aborting it. It’s okay to fantasize about that feeling, but please face the not so pleasant realities. Maybe 10 years ago I’d think you were safe in a “bluer” state, but as someone who is older than you, I have to say we are facing an unprecedented threat of fascism right now, and you are poking at a bear. And if you’re even thinking of giving birth to a child with alcohol exposure, please for the love of god, DO NOT RUIN YOUR LIFE.

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senditloud@reddit

I didn’t even think about it but the lack of resources that may be available to any child with disabilities especially to single moms…. It’s may end up being horrific

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sjorbepo@reddit

It won't really affect anything that early in the pregnancy

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senditloud@reddit

Wrong

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VKravenous@reddit

Honestly, it's probably alright. My wife was usually about 3 months in before we knew (we have 3 kids together) and drank until she found out. All of ours have been just fine with no problems.

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senditloud@reddit

Survivorship bias is not science

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Rain_Zeros@reddit

Wtf reddit.

"How dare you consider keeping your child. Downvoted" op it's your child. Do whatever you feel is right. Don't listen to reddit nobodies for personal life advice.

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senditloud@reddit

It’s not a child. It’s a fetus. It has no sentience. She’s just barely pregnant and it’s a bunch of cells just beginning to form the concept of a child. A lot of pain around having a miscarriage is the pain of the hope for what that possibility could’ve been, not what currently exists. But that “child” has a very high likelihood of being special needs, will have a young and very stressed out and financially insecure mom, a racist dad, and lots of obstacles. Its situation is ripe for abuse and neglect no matter how well meaning she is.

And then pregnancy is not without risk, there are not just medical bills, but women can become disabled, permanently harmed, and some even die despite medical care. The US has a pretty high maternal death rate.

So yeah, it’s not terrible to tell her to consider not continuing the pregnancy to the point of it ACTUALLY being a child. And to save her body and mind for kids with someone who is a good partner and father

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yankykiwi@reddit

She may do as she wish, but it’s sad the child has to be in this life as it is. Op does not have her shit together and both her and the child will be anchored to this dreadful family for life.

Struggling sucks, I’ve been there. My mum was single mom at 20 of three kids.she never did recover her life where she left off.

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eyeliner666@reddit

I also was drinking before becoming pregnant (found out after first missed period). OB told me drinking before the placenta is formed shouldn't affect the baby because you aren't sharing nutrients / blood at that point. Also told me to immediately stop drinking even though I was 6 weeks at the time/ placenta hadn't formed.

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SusanBHa@reddit

Do not tell him. It’s possible he could try to stop the abortion. Tell him after if you must.

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MediumDenseChimp@reddit

Are you considering keeping the child of a piece of shit "father" while needing to work two full time jobs? Really?

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soulmirrortwins@reddit

This sounds fake.

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TRAVMAAN1@reddit

I question the authenticity of this pregnancy. Hear me out- OP seems way too petty and irrational to have such a perfect situation occur following a break up like this. If I were in her shoes and I got dropped like a sack of potatoes and now I’m full of anger and sadness, I don’t think I could concoct a better vengeful scenario than to want to say to the grandmother “tell your grandson I was pregnant, but aborted the child”

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Annual_Government_80@reddit

Tell his grandmother, she will talk him to coming back into your life, but only if you want that

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whiskeyvagabond420@reddit (OP)

I'm not sure that she will, she's very clearly stated she hates me. Also I'm not sure if I want him back, if he left me, what's gonna stop him from leaving a kid? If I did tell her though he'd probably never hear the end of it

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Jolly_Ad9677@reddit

Wait, you’re not sure?!?

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Ok_Childhood_9774@reddit

Yeah, because that's a great reason to get back together with a loser./s.

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Electronic-Future-12@reddit

If you are planning an abortion, I’d tell the grandma just to fuck with him. Add information such “He was a boy” (such an old cunt would definitely hate it more if it was male). You want to get the abortion before telling him (if it’s what you want), otherwise they might find a way to pressure you, and you don’t seem to have the best support in place.

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whiskeyvagabond420@reddit (OP)

Thank you! Wish I could upvote this more times. Wanting to (possibly unethically, but still legally) fuck with him is why I came to this sub. You're totally right that she'd be more upset if it was a boy (she likes to complain that she has too many female (great/)grandchildren even though the majority are male

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Jolly_Ad9677@reddit

If you insist on telling this asshole and his grandmother, please promise you’ll do it after the abortion. But I still think it’s a bad idea. Consider ways that they could try to get you in trouble or take revenge on you.

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Vegaprime@reddit

Plot twist his grandma had her cult nab him. On a serious note, if you are planning to end it that grandma could make serious trouble for you depending on the state.

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MermaidSapphire@reddit

Definitely get an AB

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Salty-Ambition9733@reddit

By keeping this baby, you’re not getting revenge. You’re ruining YOUR life.

He won’t come back to you. He’ll move on and meet someone else. You’ll be alone, because most young guys don’t want to raise someone else’s baby.

He and his grandmother will fight for custody. You’ll go broke paying for a lawyer, whereas his grandmother can probably afford it. In the end, you’ll get joint custody. He and his new girlfriend will come by every week to pick up the kid. Unlike you, she’ll be thin and good looking - because she didn’t give birth.

You think you have no money now? Just wait until you have a child. And you can’t call out sick from being a mom. You’ll be raising that child ALL BY YOURSELF, no matter how sick or tired you are. Your ex will have his grandmother and pretty girlfriend to help him out.

This is the life you’ll have if you keep the baby.

You won’t be hurting him at all. You’ll only be hurting yourself.

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whiskeyvagabond420@reddit (OP)

Likely not keeping it. And I don't want him back anyway.

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bimacar@reddit

Honestly based on everything I've read you also seem kinda immature. Either tell him or never do. It's such a stupid idea to abort and then tell him. Is that going to change anything? No. You're just trying to get back at him knowing it'll hurt him if he is a conservative as you say. I'm also pissed of by these conservative folks who have sex before marriage...idiots, hypocrites, hate dudes like that.

I honestly don't think abortion is the solution but you decide for yourself. You say you've been drinking lately, but if you stop now everything's gonna be fine with the baby, that's just and excuse. People have had a lot worse habits and their kids turned out fine.

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Curious_Bookworm21@reddit

Just have the abortion and tell no one. They’re out of your life now; keep it that way.

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Sea_Bear7754@reddit

Get an abortion and make his grandma pay for it. Tell her you already have a lawyer ready to file paperwork. She won’t know your bluffing she’s old.

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whiskeyvagabond420@reddit (OP)

Lol she'd hate that. She's somehow convinced my parents are rich (they're not lol) after they helped me with an emergency ($80) car repair while we were visiting her. So she'll definitely think I have a good lawyer even if I can't afford one

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madwrites@reddit

If he signed the lease too is there not some repercussion for breaking it?

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whiskeyvagabond420@reddit (OP)

The way it's written if one of us moves out it falls on the other to pay full rent. I rent from a slumlord just like 80% of the rest of my town. Not that my landlord probably cares but I did let him know (in writing) my ex moved out without warning in the hope it'll help my case if we get taken to court over breaking the lease. The reply I got was "rents due on the first and it better not be late"

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cheekybutt1@reddit

You're not in any position to have a child.

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elizajaneredux@reddit

I enjoy a good unethical pro tip as much as the next person, but unless you’re planning to abort, attempting to terrify and embarrass the father of your kid right from the moment of conception is going to harm your kid in the long run, way more than it would harm or upset him. Don’t turn this particular situation into a Jerry Springer episode. The enjoyment you feel will wear off quickly and you and your child will be left with the wreckage.

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KylieJ1993@reddit

Get an abortion. Don’t bring a child into this shitty situation.

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italiangel24@reddit

Ooof. Good luck.

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buechertante@reddit

Not at all, if you won't keep it.

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Witty_Candle_3448@reddit

If his grandmother is toxic and controls him, why bring that into your life? Why subject your child to hearing negative things about their mother? Why complicate your life with visitation arrangements?

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Whole-Ad4677@reddit

The "unethical" thing would be to choose yourself and saving a child from years worth of strife. That's the real pro life shit here. Bringing a person with a known POS who doesn't consider you or your life. The resentment you'll inevitably have just in you... As a step parent to a kid who's parent abandoned them and the kid is now down a really bad path. Arrested 3 times at 19 for violence against their partner. She's tried her life 5 times because her mom just gave into addiction. Save yourself and this unborn person hell. Go to a blue state. Get the abortion. Money is too hard right now and as someone who grew up with money insecurities it's not an easy life

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Cuneus-Maximus@reddit

You don’t. You get an abortion and never think about this fuckwad again. If you have the baby you are attached to him and have to deal with him life. He will exert control over your life. Do you really want that, forever?

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Davidat0r@reddit

You text him that you’re pregnant and ask him whether he can wants to financially support his kid the easy way or the hard way

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maddallena@reddit

Get an abortion and tell him after. Or Ideally not at all

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lookitsabook@reddit

Send this abortion bill to his grandma's house. Block both their numbers and move on. Done.

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chevronhearts@reddit

Aidaccess.org

As someone with a super supportive, hands-on husband and an 8 month old. You do not want to be a single mom. I can't even imagine. Especially the first couple months are SO hard. Your baby will be with other people all the time so you can work.

It's not fair to the baby. Maybe adoption.

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MOSbangtan@reddit

God I hope none of this is true

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SquirrelBowl@reddit

Get an abortion and send a copy of the receipt to the grandma. That’s it short and sweet

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spodinielri0@reddit

a grudge kid, think about that. You can’t ruin your life, and a child’s, because your boyfriend hurt you. He’s a piece of shit, find support from your friends and a therapist and forget about your ex. Living well is the best revenge, set yourself up for success, not a lifetime of drama and poverty with people you do not like.

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Far-Adagio-7375@reddit

I would not tell him until that old bay is dead. She’ll try anything to get full custody to your ex. You don’t need that negatively.

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Flux_My_Capacitor@reddit

So you’re about to be homeless and are thinking about keeping this child?

This is incredibly stupid. So so very stupid.

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