Attempt at making homemade hamburger helper!

[-]

SincerelyVixie@reddit

Looks a bit too soupy imo. Here's my recipe:

Fill your pot with water and turn in the heat to boil.
In a separate pain, cook your beef then drain the oil. Put the beef into a bowl. Season as desired.
Add your pasta into your pot once the water is boiling.
In your pan, make a roux. (This is putting butter in the pan, like a 1/2 a stick. Then gradually add flour, mixing as you go until it looks like a paste. Then a cup of milk slowly, stirry and making sure it's smooth and there are no clumps from the butter/flour paste. It will start to thicken a bit, add your shredded cheese of choice. Measure with your heart. Mix, mix, mix until it's a thick sauce. Be patient. Check your pasta. Add salt and pepper to your cheese sauce, and anything else you like to use. Turn off the heat.)
Check you boiling pasta, when it's ready, strain the pasta, then put it back into your pot. -Pour your beef and cheese sauce into the pot as well and mix until everything is evenly coated.

Enjoy!

[-]

CearoBinson@reddit

More cheese, some tomato paste, and add a cornstarch slurry.

[-]

mewmew34@reddit

Did you end up trying it? Was it any good? Doesn't have to look pretty so long as it's edible.

[-]

muddybuttbrew@reddit

Check out o Cowboy Kent Rollins recipe on YouTube. Made it was pretty good.

[-]

princessofparmesia@reddit

A blend of cheddar and kraft singles actually melts so well

[-]

American cheese is a cheat. You can make cheese sauce with cheddar and a rue, but can separate or become gritty. American cheese is full of chemicals to make it melt smoothly and not separate. Those chemicals are strong enough that you can use it to help other cheeses do the same

[-]

traumaqueen1128@reddit

rue

Roux

[-]

Scyther721@reddit

They're going to roux the day they made that mistake...

[-]

traumaqueen1128@reddit

gif

[-]

Tacticusaurus-Rex@reddit

Rouge

[-]

Ok_Distance_far@reddit

This is a myth. It's just cheddar with oil. Google it. YouTube it. Quit talking out of your butt.

[-]

cutestslothevr@reddit

It includes sodium citrate, an emulsifier. Nothings wrong with it, but it melts great for a reason.

[-]

errihu@reddit

It’s sodium citrate. Not that mysterious and about as dangerous as salt. It’s really easy to make processed cheese sauce at home using sodium citrate, water, and your favorite cheeses.

[-]

kickrockz94@reddit

American cheese is the bologna of cheeses. Just a bunch of discarded cheese jumbled together and melted down with a bunch of preservatives. It's gross, and it makes a good cheese sauce if youre serving children who know its cheesy because its yellow.

What you initially described is basically foolproof, melt butter, add flour, whisk for a minute, add milk, heat so it becomes homogeneous, add shredded cheese. It doesnt separate or become gritty unless you have no idea what youre doing lol. Its 1000% times better than american cheese or velveeta and not nearly as heavy

[-]

Effective-Advisor108@reddit

Sodium citrate, it's not that crazy

[-]

cutestslothevr@reddit

Oh, it's not crazy or scary. I just couldn't remember what it was called.

[-]

Sparky678348@reddit

You can also buy the sodium citrate on the side to turn any cheese into nuclear cheese

[-]

0neHumanPeolple@reddit

Here is a trick for making cheese sauce for pasta: cook the pasta with only enough water to cover it. The water will be very starchy. Then, when it’s almost done cooking add a can of evaporated milk, butter, salt & pepper, and if you want you can add spices like garlic powder and a pinch of nutmeg. Some people like some mustard powder in there. Bring it back up to lightly bubbling, then add your cheese.

[-]

cutestslothevr@reddit

That sounds like it'd be pretty tasty. You'd basically be replacing the flour with the starch from the pasta water. I'd be oncerned about it reheating weirdly, but there are ways around that.

[-]

0neHumanPeolple@reddit

It congeals when it cools. Best reheat I’ve done so far is add a few drops of water then microwave. Pause and mix halfway through and add more water drops if needed.

[-]

ElQuesoGato@reddit

I’m more partial to velveeta over kraft, but yes: always more cheese.

[-]

Important_Chair8087@reddit

Work with what youve got.

[-]

cutestslothevr@reddit

Kraft singles are not a bad idea. They have so much emulsifier in them that they're a cheat for cheese sauce. Starting with a rue and using good cheese tastes better, but American cheese slices can be added at the end to thicken and keep the sauce from separating.

[-]

Ryanisreallame@reddit

Legally I think you’re only allowed to use velveeta

[-]

OtherBob63@reddit

Cheez-whiz.

[-]

airport-cinnabon@reddit

Cheddar

[-]

Apprehensive_Bee614@reddit

Milk ?

[-]

Razzamafoo@reddit

Eew.

[-]

potatopierogie@reddit

Hamburger hindrance

[-]

Diangelionz@reddit

Hamburger antagonist

[-]

slepsiagjranoxa@reddit

Hamburger hater

[-]

OvalDead@reddit

Hamburger Hellscape

[-]

Version_Two@reddit

Hamburger hellfire

[-]

chamorrobro@reddit

Hamburger Helpme

[-]

Talullah_Belle@reddit

Hamburger Helper Resigned

[-]

Spiritual_Cell_9719@reddit

The way I just exploded with laughter

[-]

I_am_ChivoBlanco@reddit

Better than OP's explosion later, I suppose

[-]

Blenderbender64@reddit

hey I was gonna make that joke!!!

[-]

Only_Ingenuity_6832@reddit

🪙

[-]

PotatoPCuser1@reddit

Hamburden

[-]

Gold_Sky1097@reddit

gif

[-]

ragnawrekt@reddit

Hamburger helpless

[-]

Only_Ingenuity_6832@reddit

🪙

[-]

TrollBoothBilly@reddit

This is the one. All the replies belong on r/YourJokeButWorse

[-]

Useful_Ad8777@reddit

“This is the one” 😂😂 I hope I never get nominated for ruining a joke

[-]

mareksoon@reddit

… and I hindered!

[-]

Apprehensive_Vast815@reddit

Hamburger end it all.

[-]

Clutch-Bandicoot@reddit

Hamburder holocaust

[-]

garreth24@reddit

Hamburger Help-line

[-]

cosmiceggsalad@reddit

Lmao

[-]

Chompif@reddit

What cheese did you use?

[-]

dogs_over_dudes@reddit

Grey is the least appetizing food color.

[-]

Difficult_Bee_49@reddit

Did you pass out after making it? 🤢

[-]

lbye_88@reddit

It’s real grey

[-]

EnglishWhites@reddit

Put a little bit of flour and water together, probably a tablespoon of each, to make a slurry and pour that in, stir it over heat for a second, that will help thicken it

[-]

doqtyr@reddit

Yeah, that looks like HH without all the dyes and thickeners, you’re probably better off 😆

[-]

Fucky0uthatswhy@reddit

The velveeta ones are better. They’re better because they use velveeta in the sauce. I bet if you added it to this it would be great

[-]

steaimh@reddit

In what world could that classify as a hamburger except for the ground meat

[-]

Julian_Sark@reddit

Looks like my regular pasta struggle dish, would eat. But how the eff is something with pasta a hamburger?

[-]

hollowthatfollows@reddit

if you add more cornstarch slurry it gets thicker and coats the noodles better. I personally like to take 1/2 a finely diced onion (or whole onion if small) and add it 5 minutes before adding the beef, it makes a huge difference in flavor! Lastly once its cooled and ready to serve, you could always add a dollop of sour cream and mix it in, it add a ton of flavor dimension with the slight acidity and fat.

[-]

Koseoglu-2X4B-523P@reddit

Is the dog having tummy trouble again?

[-]

TheCosmic_Commander@reddit

You need to make a bishmel first. Melt butter on medium-low heat, don’t brown it. Add 2-3 Tbsp of flour. Wish till it’s a pasty consistency. And almost and sandy color. Add 1/2 cup of milk or heavy cream, pour slowly while wisking. Reduce heat to low, let it simmer for a few minutes to thicken. Add your spices, and remove from heat. Add grated cheese. (Shreds your cheese yourself, pre shredded cheese clumps) and stir in… boom cheese sauce.

[-]

packofwinnyblues@reddit

Please turn yourself in to the local authorities

[-]

Big-War-7218@reddit

🤢🤮

[-]

yes126@reddit

You can still save it. Drain everything out, on the side, heat up some heavy cream or milk, blend of cheeses, smoked gouda, cheddar maybe even some sharp cheddar, add some cayenne, touch or garlic and onion powder, some all spice, throw in your grated cheese mix and let it thicken up. Add to noodles and bam, a saved helpme burger

[-]

YorkiesandSneakers@reddit

Hamburger Herpes

[-]

novark80085@reddit

honestly if you just let this keep cooking on a low heat, you could cook off the rest of the excess water and get something normal 🤷

[-]

lexebug@reddit

strain the excess liquid out, add some cornstarch, keep cooking until it thickens maybe? it won’t be gourmet, but it’ll hopefully be closer to edible!

[-]

novark80085@reddit

you wouldn't want to strain liquid out because you'd be losing all the sauce; keepin it on a low heat will let the water evaporate quickly and leave you with all your flavour

[-]

yes126@reddit

There is no sauce in there at all.

[-]

stealingyourpixels@reddit

Will leave you with gross mushy pasta

[-]

magnustranberg@reddit

If by normal you mean the most overcooked pasta ever.

[-]

SierraDespair@reddit

So hamburger helper?

[-]

0neHumanPeolple@reddit

And add paprika for color so it doesn’t look grey.

[-]

dwsinpdx@reddit

Less garbage

[-]

Constant-Still-8443@reddit

Why is it gray?

[-]

Important_Chair8087@reddit

It doesnt want to be noticed. Practicing urban stealth.

[-]

kahrahtay@reddit

Because OP forgot to add the seasonings

[-]

Ill-Wear-8662@reddit

Because it's sad, cold, and joyless

[-]

Kamachio@reddit

how many times did you pass out while saucing it?

[-]

StrangerWeekly1859@reddit

gif

[-]

HairyStyrofoam@reddit

gif

[-]

Embarrassed-Yak-8285@reddit

Back in the 80’s, when I couldn’t afford real food, this was a thing. Thanks for the memories! 🙀

[-]

Hewhowalksbehind92@reddit

Cheese powder is the way. You can multiple varieties that are made from real cheese.

[-]

8Deez135@reddit

Hamburger unhelpful

[-]

happy_mf_@reddit

It looks like it needs more help lol

[-]

JoeMamma_94@reddit

Somebody hamburger help this man

[-]

EEINAR30@reddit

Mmmm where is the burger

[-]

Crocs_And_Stone@reddit

Thought this was maggots mixed with goop at first

[-]

AhoyYeTomboy@reddit

Not kidding at all when I say I thought those were maggots at first!

[-]

killpopwoman@reddit

Oh

[-]

berkakar@reddit

patience grasshopper

[-]

Seventh-Sol@reddit

Hamburger Hostage

[-]

mokkat@reddit

Great, now you'll have to run to the store for Hamburger Helper Helper.

[-]

lobotomy4free@reddit

Resident Evil ahh meal

[-]

Playful_Equal_9312@reddit

Brown the meat more before adding moisture into the pan. Add seasoning to the meat to draw out some color too.

[-]

Opsmvs@reddit

😂 I love this sub

[-]

userunknowne@reddit

I wouldn’t feed that to my dog. So I guess you followed the recipe well.

[-]

catsandcoconuts@reddit

i would feed it to this guys dog.

[-]

Baron-Von-Mothman@reddit

I'm just concerned about who's feeding the dog? If this guy isn't doing it....

[-]

Zerial-Lim@reddit

How about feed dog a him?

[-]

Baron-Von-Mothman@reddit

Much yes

[-]

Jittr_Crittr@reddit

Bro that looks like my grandma's hair.

[-]

kitkat1224666@reddit

I thought I was scrolling past a picture of mouldy pasta 🤨

[-]

tr4sh_can@reddit

reminds me of shit on a shingle

[-]

crazykickball@reddit

The fk. Just use velveeta.

[-]

Sleepy_Sheepz@reddit

What’s that white stuff in photo two on the spoon mystery meat and noodles

[-]

crackcrackcracks@reddit

What actually is hamburger helper? Is it literally just beef macaroni?

[-]

Dave-James@reddit

Those noodles definitely don’t look homemade. No texture from the extrusion, too flat like they’re premade dehydrated rehydrated noodles that take longer to rehydrate than they do to make and cook…

[-]

JPFL08@reddit

Is there a non homemade hamburger helper I don’t know about?

[-]

Ill_Preference_4663@reddit

gif

[-]

Healthy-Confection66@reddit

Hermburger Herper

[-]

jumbolump73@reddit

Noe sure why they call it hamburger helper, it does just fine on it's own

[-]

Legitimate-Seat-4060@reddit

Jizzed Beef

[-]

ccv707@reddit

Why does it look like this? It’s hamburger helper. It has step by step instructions…and it’s like three steps.

[-]

NorthernCobraChicken@reddit

Hamburger OhPleaseNo.

[-]

5LYNG3R@reddit

Ahhhhhhhhhh, Just Call It "Stroganoff". Then U "Nailed It" 🤣🤐🤔

[-]

OffBeatBerry_707@reddit

Well this hamburger ain’t helping

[-]

Derezirection@reddit

more cheese, less liquid, add some seasoning, something with a kick maybe?

[-]

punkndrublic1984@reddit

Why would you embrace this dark demonic magic?

[-]

lfxlPassionz@reddit

Where's the seasoning?

[-]

United_Ring_2622@reddit

This needs some hamburger life-saving surgery

[-]

Just4Quacks@reddit

Even the hamburglar would avoid this.

[-]

brightonashfield@reddit

Looks like you disemboweled s thousand mice

[-]

tokyo_driftr@reddit

Not a speck of seasoning

[-]

alternateeff4@reddit

Jamie Oliver?

[-]

Daniel_Plainchoom@reddit

Less water/sadness broth.

Add some chili powder and cumin and a bit of tomato sauce and it could be saved.

[-]

turquoise_amethyst@reddit

Mmmm, sadness broth?

[-]

Ill-Wear-8662@reddit

I was yawning when I read this and saw "sardines" instead of sadness

[-]

turquoise_amethyst@reddit

Why is it purple?

[-]

ScrlettDrling@reddit

Packet of velveeta cheese and a can rotel would fix that.

[-]

ItzBreezeyBaby@reddit

Hamburger needs help😭😭😭

[-]

PuttingFishOnJupiter@reddit

As a non US person, what is "hamburger helper"?

I could easily Google it, but would rather have topical answers as well as a definition.

[-]

Doglover4561@reddit

Why is it purple

[-]

Nightshade_Ranch@reddit

I'd make a hamburger gravy then throw noodles at it. Cook the hamburger first, and when almost done, sprinkle enough flour to coat it and soak up the fat, and cook til brown. Reduce heat to low simmer. Start adding some milk, slowly, cup by cup, stirring continuously. It will bubble then thicken, then you'll add more milk, and repeat until you have all the liquid and consistency you want. Season with salt, garlic, and a shit load of pepper. Put it over any sort of pasta, but egg noodles are best. So filling and good.

[-]

NotDazedorConfused@reddit

With beef prices so high, I heard that they are coming out with Hamburger Helper Helper …

[-]

bionica@reddit

When the instructions say “brown the meat “ that’s what it means. Cook the meat until brown. You “grayed” the meat.

[-]

Revenga8@reddit

Gotta maillard your meat first

[-]

Phoenixf1zzle@reddit

Seasoning my friend. Toss some paprika in there

[-]

MrBPrice@reddit

Why? Has Hamburger Helper gone up in price?

[-]

RoTheBoat_2337@reddit

No way in gods green earth you are trying to make a burger.

[-]

Nekrubbobby64@reddit

How do you mess up hamburger helper?

Its one pound, one pan, one tasty meal

[-]

Common-End338@reddit

Why is it purple?

[-]

skinned_dog_toes@reddit

Stick with the store bought stuff

[-]

EraTempest@reddit (OP)

The recipe, if anyone is interested

https://www.jocooks.com/recipes/instant-pot-hamburger-helper/

[-]

mac_attack8968@reddit

https://www.julieseatsandtreats.com/wprm_print/73268 This is our favorite!

[-]

Turd_Ferguson420@reddit

I don’t need to click on the link to know you didn’t follow the directions properly.

[-]

HyenaStraight8737@reddit

The link even has pictures.

I have no clue wtf OP did, but none of those photos show... Grey or whatever the hell OP is showing us.

[-]

curlyfat@reddit

I also didn’t click, but I’d bet it says “”brown” the burger, not “gray” the burger.

[-]

OnetimeRocket13@reddit

Idk what you did differently, but what you made is not what whoever wrote that recipe made.

[-]

Diangelionz@reddit

That ain’t hamburger helper, that’s hamburger antagonist

[-]

samoan23@reddit

Ever lived on your own before?

[-]

iDoWeird@reddit

There are recipes for this online, btw. You don’t need to wing it and suffer.

[-]

Cyber-X1@reddit

Needs cheese

[-]

KarlRestaurant@reddit

Hamburger Destroyer

[-]

Alternative-Wish-423@reddit

OP (and anyone else interested) here's how you make homemade hamburger helper: ~1 lb ground beef ~ 1/2 cream cheese block ~ 1 cup uncooked elbow macaroni

Start the water for your elbow macaroni.
Cook and season ground beef to your liking (season salt, salt & pepper, etc.). Drain and put ground beef back in skillet/pan over "keep warm" or very low heat.
Cut the cream cheese into small pieces/cubes and put into pan with ground beef. Stir gently until melted and the geound beef is coated. (You can add more or less cream cheese to your liking.)
Drain elbow macaroni and return it to the pan it was boiled in. Put the ground beef/cream cheese mixture in wirh the macaroni and stir until ot's all coated with cream cheese. Enjoy!

You can increase the amount of any of the ingredients to taste.

[-]

Introverted-headcase@reddit

Campbell soup has a can of concentrate cheese soup. Use it and add a little milk to desired consistency stirring careful not to burn with too high a level of heat

[-]

bimbles_ap@reddit

I don't think you really know what hamburger helper is

[-]

Flat-Fudge-2758@reddit

This is sad

[-]

ChefAsstastic@reddit

Wtf are the tomatoes? Hamburger helpless???

[-]

Familiar-Structure25@reddit

Looks like found footage

[-]

Spiritual_Cell_9719@reddit

I see the roux was eschewed.

[-]

jiajia_92@reddit

A what

[-]

cannibaltom@reddit

Too wet.

[-]

DryMeet944@reddit

This needs some hamburger helping.

[-]

superphage@reddit

Hamburger hell no

[-]

Wolf_Doggie@reddit

First pic looks like it's coming out of a sewer pipe.

[-]

Chris_Wilson14@reddit

Just needs a sauce that's all. It looks great atm.

[-]

setsunaa@reddit

How’d it taste 😬

[-]

Odd_Blackberry_5846@reddit

Hamburger help ya

[-]

DaRealDeathbringer@reddit

Shitburger don’t even help me, put me out of my misery

[-]

Hyklone@reddit

start with a béchamel then add cheese. much better

[-]

frednekk@reddit

That’s Dishwater Soup. Go to the store and just buy it.

[-]

Same-College4003@reddit

Bland asf

[-]

PhysicalCommercial5@reddit

throw in some cheese and a cup of salsa. season to taste. i do this all the time

[-]

JoMamaSoFatYo@reddit

Good work! Being honest, it doesn’t look very appealing, but for a first try, it could’ve turned out looking much worse. Making cheese sauce has a learning curve, and I’ve had my fair share of “trial and error.”

I actually make this a few times per month from scratch and it’s always better than even the boxed Velveeta dinners. I start by making a roux (butter and flour, heated on medium heat until it turns to a paste), then I add some chicken stock for flavor, milk, and seasonings (salt, pepper, onion powder, garlic powder), and whisk until combined. Lower the heat to medium low and then add the cheese (whatever kind floats your boat, but freshly shredded and non-smoked melts best) and stir with a spatula until the cheese has melted. Then I usually toss in the cooked pasta and ground beef and mix immediately before serving. If you let it stand too long and it thickens too much, just thin it with more milk.

[-]

Successful_Candy_759@reddit

Americans today can't even follow directions on a box.

Wild

[-]

traumaqueen1128@reddit

Hamburger Help Me

[-]

Ornery-Practice9772@reddit

Why tf would you want to

[-]

Kai-Zz@reddit

r/GorlWorld_ ass meal

[-]

J-littletree@reddit

Where is the sauce??

[-]

Zala-Sancho@reddit

Corn starch slurry.

[-]

RobbSnow64@reddit

Wow, OP must really struggle with difficult dishes, like Mr. Noodles, Kraft dinner, Microwave popcorn.

[-]

Sea-Independent-726@reddit

Hanburger death

[-]

SierraDespair@reddit

With beef? In this economy?

[-]

Ypuort@reddit

I thought this was a pot of Mac and cheese that had been left unrefrigerated for a month

[-]

stfud0nnie@reddit

Looks like 100 different people spit on it

[-]

FalynorSoren@reddit

Looks like you really needed the help after all.

[-]

a_solid_6@reddit

Lol big time. I feel like the general idea of helper from scratch shouldn't be that hard to work out? Beef, elbow noodles, your favorite cheeses, a little heavy cream or milk? I'm not sure how what we're seeing here comes into being, but help was needed lol

[-]

RaQzDeVil@reddit

This is what I do. Cook burger and noodles separately. Make the noodles like regular mac and cheese. Add the burger. then add more cheese and milk if needed. I also add Hellman's Mayo personal preference and taste

[-]

LuckyPancake@reddit

brooo u gotta actually cook the hamburger first

[-]

frag_enabler@reddit

How are those maggots?

gif

[-]

Me_ina_pink_skirt@reddit

Add the cheese sauce to save it!

[-]

furious_styles2023@reddit

You made macaroni-o's

[-]

Cheward@reddit

This looks very pale

[-]

Successful-Phase1882@reddit

what the fuck dude

[-]

SuspiciousSack@reddit

Toast some smoked paprika with garlic powder on the side. Add the smallest amount of milk until it’s a paste and add to your Hamburger helpers helper. Add cheese on top and fold in.

[-]