ULPT request: roommates dog keeps pooping in my bed
Posted by Ambitious_Climate550@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 101 comments
As title suggests, i live with a roommate who recently adopted a dog. The dog had decided that the best place to go potty is my bed and pillows.
I talked to the roommate and he tried multiple times to no avail to keep the dog away from my room.
I've been closing my door to prevent the dog from entering but im tired of living in constant fear pf finding my bed filled with feces.
Is there a way for me to make the dog scared of my room? To create a way for him to avoid it?
Gen_JohnsonJameson@reddit
Just get an exterior locking doorknob from Home Depot, swap it out for your doorknob that is currently on the door. If you are renting, simply swap it back when you move out. If your door is locked, there is no way the dog can enter the room when you aren't there.
WhyWontThisWork@reddit
Get a spring that closes the door too, (or maybe just the spring) so you don't have to risk forgetting to close it
Also, why isn't your roommate walking the dog more? If the dog already went to the bathroom, they won't have more to go -- it's how dogs get house trained.
Bekah679872@reddit
The dog could have medical issues. We don’t really know why this is happening, but it is totally unacceptable for the dog to be shitting in OP’s bed
WhyWontThisWork@reddit
Who said anything was acceptable?
We're doing solution here
Bekah679872@reddit
I was just saying that the dog may be doing it despite being regularly walked. That’s all
Bubbly-Difference225@reddit
My dog started peeing like this and I didn’t think it was anything other than behavioural, turns out he had a medical problem. This dog and owner really should at least see a FaceTime vet to discuss the issue.
Jessica19922@reddit
My puppy is having hard time with potty training. I have an appointment with his vet to have it checked but it isn’t until Thursday. Do you mind sharing what was going on with your doggy.
Bubbly-Difference225@reddit
He had diabetes! Not something I expected at all. He was older though, not a puppy. Your little guy will get there. I found a treat every single time he peed on his pad or outside worked for training him to go out. You have to do it every single time though. I even eventually taught him to push a button that said “go outside!” When he wanted out. No exceptions, treats and praise every time. Is your little guy having more of a difficulty than that?
WhyWontThisWork@reddit
Walk it more then .. you can't just create feces on demand
Responsible_Dentist3@reddit
Depending on the medical issues if any, it could be 12 times a day
kevinh456@reddit
Even with medical issues, you can’t just create poop from nothing. There is only so much food to turn into poop.
Source: I’m a human that has to poop a lot and even I have been “empty” (for colonoscopy prep).
The correct response here is to walk the dog very frequently with positive reinforcement if he goes outside.
If that doesn’t address the problem the next step is a trip to the vet for medical issues. If that comes up clean, roommate needs to hire a trainer.
Lifestyle-Creeper@reddit
I think this is reasonable to explore. Is it regular poops, or diarrhea? Normal poop would imply the dog needs to go out more. There may be more to the issue, but starting with more walks can’t hurt.
kevinh456@reddit
I figured that op would have told us if these were the liquishits but you’re right, I assumed it was normal
McFuzzen@reddit
Oh my god dude, why would you say it's okay for a dog to shit in OP's bed?
MangaRunner42@reddit
spring hinge from lowes. $12 and self closes every time so you cant forget
StanielReddit@reddit
Might even be able to just flip the doorknob around if it’s a true “knob” and not a lever-style handle..
Vegaprime@reddit
Don't know if it works on dogs but clothes hangers keep my cat off of furniture.
DingDongTaco@reddit
Um close the door?
MOTIVATE_ME_23@reddit
Lock him in the roommates room. Not your problem.
Cuneus-Maximus@reddit
And put the dogs shit from OP’s bed on the roommates bed so the dog learns their master’s bed is a toilet.
MisterPistacchio@reddit
Dude closing the door is not that hard. I own a house and have one dog that is not allowed on the bed. We close the door. If the dog can't learn a behavior, do not give them a chance to do that bad behavior. Not that hard.
Don't do anything stupid to that dog. Not a good sub for this post.
LoneyGamer2023@reddit
close door, put clothing bins to baracade too. easy peasy save relationships, though they hate you don't like dogs lol
bukowskisbabushka@reddit
We have a doggy gate on the bedroom doorway.
So there's airflow from the rest of the apartment (the furnace seems to heat that room warmer than elsewhere) but doggy cant jump in the bed and drool all over everything
Kiefy-McReefer@reddit
This, I had dog gates on all the bedroom doors in my house, mostly to give the cat safe places that he can escape the dogs from.
But also since this is r/unethicallifeprotips you should just pee on his bed, while he’s in it, standing above him cackling and asserting your dominance
Salty-Ambition9733@reddit
Put the poop in your roommate’s bed
New-IncognitoWindow@reddit
Plus a little extra
Kiefy-McReefer@reddit
Wait do we get to use piss disks? Finally?
TangerineTassel@reddit
Did you say liquid ass??
Hot-Helicopter640@reddit
What stopped your roommate from taking those multiple precautions before you told him that lie? You're roommate is an asshole
Icy_Cookie_1476@reddit
My approach. This worked a charm on a neighbor cat that was pooping on my front deck (God knows why).
Mousetrap baited with tuna, one of the smaller ones. Believe me, that dog is going nowhere near that bed after checking out his special food treat. Wash rinse repeat if needed.
originalbrainybanana@reddit
Good idea. I got raccoons shitting on my porch, I’ll try that.
The_Sensual@reddit
My grandma used to put mousetraps on the couch. Dogs learn real quick not to go near them
NotTooGoodBitch@reddit
What precautions did your roommate take?
Ok_Image_842@reddit
Mouse traps under newspaper. The newspaper keeps the dog safe, but the snapping will keep them off.
snotboogie@reddit
Easy . Keep your door closed. Dogs hate this one simple trick. Seriously man. There is a FOOLPROOF solution and it's very easy.
Ambitious_Climate550@reddit (OP)
As i mentioned in the post I don't want to live in constant fear of poop filling my bed because i forgot the door opened.
That's why i was looking for solutions that don't constantly keep me on my toes.
dyancat@reddit
Maybe this can be a life lesson to learn how to close your damn bedroom door. Loser
snotboogie@reddit
Learn to shut the door consistently.
Ambitious_Climate550@reddit (OP)
I chose the better option and trained the dog's owner
Rylude@reddit
Based solution
The_Sensual@reddit
Take some laxatives and just absolutely annihilate your roommates bed with share
Grimaldehyde@reddit
Was your roommate opening your bedroom door, or something?
Ambitious_Climate550@reddit (OP)
It does happen from time to time
Middle--Earth@reddit
Perhaps if you took the poop and chucked it into your roommates bed, then it might encourage them to come up with a solution fairly quickly.
JackReacharounnd@reddit
I have done this with dishes after a roommate straight up tells me that they aren't gonna do the dishes ever and I can either deal with it or not.
Just 30 gross dishes right in their bed.
notactuallyacupcake@reddit
This is the way.
makinglunch@reddit
HistoricalPlum1533@reddit
You can get coyote pee at some outdoor and hunting supply shops, put it on your bed, the scent of a larger predator marking its territory will keep the dog from pooping on the bed. Problem solved!
meddit_rod@reddit
Perfect. I foresee zero issues.
billocity@reddit
The dog is clearly the alpha of the house. OP you need to poop in the dog’s bed, and your roommates bed, and everyone’s else’s bed in the house to re-establish dominance.
MisterPistacchio@reddit
😆 im also wondering how often OP washes their sheets. Maybe it just smells like a toilet.
Stubborn_Amoeba@reddit
Probably a lot more now because of the dog
MisterPistacchio@reddit
I guess something good still came of it.
iamsidewayz@reddit
OP should make a piss disk and leave it under the dogs bed
walter_garber@reddit
A lock?
Ambitious_Climate550@reddit (OP)
A lock don't really solve the whole "forgetting the door open" part
Brief_Buddy_7848@reddit
Close your door??? Tf…
Ambitious_Climate550@reddit (OP)
This is a bedroom door in a house, inevitably it will be left opened and in my opinion i shouldn't fear my bed will be poop filled because i forgot the door open.
fingers@reddit
You did well.
panic_bread@reddit
I love your solution!
Lopsided-Beach-1831@reddit
Get a couple of cheap shirts, either work out in them or sleep in them a few days. Have roommate put one in the dogs bed/place dog loves to sleep.
Have roommate do the same and put his shirt on your bed or on the back of your bedrooms doorknob.
Witty_Candle_3448@reddit
Put a lock on your door.
mrgoldnugget@reddit
Plot twist: roommate is pooping on the bed to get OP to move out so they can keep the rental.
Talkjar@reddit
Piss discs in dog’s bed. Assert dominance
tap3w0rm@reddit
Get a camera to watch your bed and get busy learning how relays and Arduinos work. when the dog gets up on your bed set off all the car airbags you put under your covers hooked to the relays. I assume this should fix the problem the first time.
ElectricalCupcake644@reddit
It may be a little to unethical, but in”the olden days” people used to rub an animals nose it’s faeces to punish it. I don’t advocate abusing animals in this way, but you could rub your housemates face in it every time it happens. Through a process of classical conditioning, your housemate will quickly learn to look after their dog properly, or better still, they leave and you get the whole house and a new dog?
icybitterblue@reddit
Yea this is not advised anymore.
AdministrationWise56@reddit
I always say half the battle in training a dog is also training the humans
ElectricalCupcake644@reddit
No bad dogs, just bad keepers!
Pretty_Goblin11@reddit
I would have agreed with you up until now… I have two dogs. Silver and Winnie. I have had many dogs before. All good. Lovely dogs. Perfect pets. Silver has continued this tradition… she’s such a Good girl…. Winnie however is a mischief maker, rule breaker and quite literally a thug. She is naughty. And she just… came like this. I still love her.
bugbugladybug@reddit
I'd argue it's even more than that.
The dog just reacts to the environment around then and the humans sets the environment.
_fly-on-the-wall_@reddit
you didn't keep your door closed before?! its so odd to me
slartbangle@reddit
If the dog isn't tall, a baby-gate might suffice - then you can have your door open but no dog in room.
nyafff@reddit
Train the dog. wtf? Yeah it’s annoying it’s not your dog but it’s not the dog’s fault their owner is shit. Show the dog where to poop, take the poops and put them where it’s supposed to poop and praise it when it poops there, problem solved.
Take revenge on your roommate or whatever but don’t you dare be mean to that dog!
Tfire327@reddit
Order a bottle of mint essential oils from Amazon and dump it all over the house. Dog won't even want to come in the house
bugbugladybug@reddit
Motion detector hooked up to a train horn should fix it.
CeruleanFruitSnax@reddit
This is actually a good solution to a lot of problems.
polardendrites@reddit
Or a dog whistle. They have apps that let you play frequencies humans can't hear, but the dog will figure it out. I used to play them when my neighbors dog was barking while they were out to distract them long enough get the dog to chill.
Responsible_Dentist3@reddit
Not very appropriate for an apartment
Used_Olive1403@reddit
Poop on the dog's bed and establish dominance.
jupitaur9@reddit
Are you sure the dog is the one taking the initiative? Does your roommate hate you? Might they be depositing the dog shit on your bed?
DivineDisassociation@reddit
You don’t have a door or something? The fuck
drezdogge@reddit
Loot up scat Matt's no pun intended
andytagonist@reddit
Dude, just close the door. The dog is just a dog, ULPT is not called for here.
KillaThing@reddit
Get an automatic door closer. You just screw it on your door and the door frame.
Monarc73@reddit
There is only ONE solution at this point: (Since your roommate refuses to take care of HIS pet.) Either you go, or the dog goes. (He is now habituated to believe that your bed is an appropriate toilet.)
myredditusernamelolz@reddit
Nice try Johnny Depp
MisterPistacchio@reddit
Lol'd hard at this one.
Akiram@reddit
Shit on your roommate's bed every time the dog does on yours.
ZachOf_AllTrades@reddit
Poop on the dog's bed
trixter69696969@reddit
Start feeding the dog rich snacks like deli meat and cheese (won't hurt it at all), but will give the dog diarrhea. That way it will shit when it needs to all over the house. Your roommate would then have to walk it more often.
FuckdaFireDepartment@reddit
Maybe this is too unethical but how about you physically discipline the dog when it shits in your bed and tell your dickhead roommate that if he’s not gonna do it then you will. The second you see it enter your room give it a few smacks on the ass and establish that your room is off limits. I don’t condone animal abuse but you need to train the dog. Dogs are animals and animals respond to physical discipline if done right
Sakaniana@reddit
I'm sure you know more than the veterinary behaviorists (specifically the Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior) who say physical punishment increases anxiety and is ultimately counterproductive, potentially leading to worsening of unwanted behaviors. The lack of understanding of dog behavior is one of the main reasons dogs end up in shelters.
ceciliabee@reddit
They also respond to training and positive reinforcement. Perhaps the owner should, I dunno, train the dog.
Punish the human failing, not the animal
RandomUser7914@reddit
Yeah, sure. Violence against the animal will solve where the owner fails. Take my down vote, good sir.
Astarion247365@reddit
Discipline the roommate
Tronracer@reddit
Rub his nose in it.
LisaWinchester@reddit
Physically "disciplining" an animal isn't the right way to go about it.
SomeDumbMentat@reddit
Up the ante and start pooping in your roommates bed
shaktishaker@reddit
Dogs usually hate menthol.
Annual_Government_80@reddit
Closing and locking your dorm is absolutely the best solution