bf asked if I was prepping for the fart olympics. anyway here's girl dinner

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dankyspank@reddit

How dare he? Dutch oven him when you're in bed for the disrespect

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Geno_Warlord@reddit

All that’s missing is some boiled cabbage and a couple beers. That might get you 8-9

Although, if you want to win with just that lineup, you might be best off going with some cheap wine. The sulfur content in the wine will bring out the eggs and pickles. Turkey pepperoni will make it wet, cheese for the volume and the edamame to add power.

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FACEFUCKEDYOURDAD@reddit

fart composition breakdown is crazy work

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Geno_Warlord@reddit

Only when you want to fine tune the scent. At its bare bones, you need only think of greens, sulphur, yeast. The greens and sulphur interact with each other to make it pungent, the yeast creates the gas.

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Negative_Ad3317@reddit

P.U.

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chickpealuvr420@reddit (OP)

THIS GUY FARTS ☝️☝️☝️ I'm fucking crying laughing but what you don't know is that I also washed this down with a strawberry kombucha so I think I've about mastered the strat

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Apart-Gur-9720@reddit

Get some expired yoghurt in there too, young grasshopper

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Geno_Warlord@reddit

The strawberry Kombucha will add some floral tones to the mix, but the alcohol content is too weak to give depth of field to the gag inducers that are the eggs and pickles. Maybe if the edamame is spicy it can bring them back to the leader of the back. If not, I’d probably rate it Dutch oven/10.

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RogerTrout@reddit

The pickled and Kombucha is redundant, just doubling up on lactoferment, which doesnt stack. Better for longer events like a fartathon. The cheese could be stinkier too. Something soft, aged and right on the expiry date ideally.

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Geno_Warlord@reddit

Cheese can be used for stench, but I like to capitalize on mild lactose intolerance and go for sheer volume with it instead. You can get creative when you have a solid 15 seconds of trumpet.

If I was personally going to do this challenge. I’d be making myself a Nilgai burger with Colby jack cheese, pickles, red onions, tomatoes, mayo, and a couple Dos Equis to wash it down. My crew had those burgers at work last year and holy fuck did it wreak havoc on all of our guts! We had to work outside for days because a single fart would make everyone inside gag and chase ourselves out. You know how your own supply doesn’t smell as bad to yourself? That burger slapped that notion like a red headed step child. God forbid you Dutch ovened yourself. You’d wake up thinking you shit the bed.

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AlphaThe7@reddit

Wtf am I reading lmfaoooo

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Geno_Warlord@reddit

A totally serious conversation about the fartlympics tactics. It’s relatively new so everyone has their own ideas on how to play. I’m partial to the Dutch oven category but seeing as it has at most 2 judges, it’s one of the more difficult categories to score high on.

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AlphaThe7@reddit

I love you lmfao

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Background-Car4969@reddit

American girls DO NOT eat like this.

If any put off like they do they're liars or have eating disorders. Our women are huge and out eat men regularly. I've never seen anything like it, it's like over the past ten - fifteen years they've balooned up and devour more then men that I know.

This is a lie

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Other-Cantaloupe4765@reddit

Excuse me what?

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ShinigamiPersonYes@reddit

I've shamelessly been looking at his reddit comments in general. It isn't surprising based on his comment history and... Political affiliation USA wise.

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Background-Car4969@reddit

You're fat

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BenjaminDover02@reddit

Jesus christ, you've turned yourself into a weapon of ass destruction

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ThatNachoFreshFeelin@reddit

You can't spell "disasster" without "dis ass"

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almightyeggroll@reddit

Assoma Bin Toilet

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discerningpervert@reddit

Relevant

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DookieofHazard@reddit

Come to stay for a little while. We would love to hear your stories

The Hague

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anothersip@reddit

Damn, this sounds like my kinda' midnight snack, tbh. Charcuterie and kombucha? Aw yissss.

I'm in recovery for alcohol so I basically lived on kombucha as I tapered my alcohol down. Used to brew my own, 2-3 gallons at a time. I liked using black teas and natural juices like Naked or Bolthouse Farms in my brews to feed my scobies and flavor my brews.

If you like drinking it, OP, you should try making your own sometime if you want - it's awesome. Just need a big 'ole glass jar, a starter culture (a kombucha), tea and sugar. And some time - it's super satisfying to watch the scoby grow and live in your brew. Bottle it up and let it carbonate, chill it. You can make several gallons for the price of less than two single storebought kombuchas.

That way, you can keep up the nick-name of Toots McGee while still keeping your microbiome where you want it. Next time, see if you can find a peppercorn salami. That stuff is like gold in my house.

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chickpealuvr420@reddit (OP)

Congrats and good luck on your recovery! 🤞I did not know you could easily make your own. You've just created a monster in me because I recently fell in love with sourdough starters and having living things on my kitchen counter so will certainly be attempting

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anothersip@reddit

Oooh! Sourdough is epic! You can totally do kombucha then - you've been bitten by the living-foods bug.

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almightyeggroll@reddit

Your strat is making gasses for chemical warfare

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HakmudofArgus@reddit

My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

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weasel5134@reddit

Is that a will it microwave reference ?

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almightyeggroll@reddit

It's from The Simpsons

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Chem1st@reddit

Dye your hair black and white and you're ready to go as a skunk for Halloween.

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hatecriminal@reddit

gif

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Charming-Line-375@reddit

Could add in some quite well aged kimchi for a 10

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Nuts-And-Volts@reddit

Cauliflower rice has entered the chat

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big_duo3674@reddit

Don't forget a solid amount of onions! They add that nice beefy note to it

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PoolShark1819@reddit

Wash it down with a spoonful or two of Metamucil

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Geno_Warlord@reddit

Metamucil is a risk though. If you shit yourself, you’re disqualified.

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buttplugpeddler@reddit

This guy farts

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Baron-Von-Mothman@reddit

You are my hero

gif

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Aggressive-Seat1902@reddit

Or drink the beers and wine and detox off it, that's some wicked gas

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MonkeyBred@reddit

How has nobody included sugar-free gummy bears on this list. Absolutely caustic.

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chickpealuvr420@reddit (OP)

Sugar-free gummy bears... I haven't heard that name in years 🚬🚬🚬

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Aggressive-Seat1902@reddit

That can cause diarrhea, it's what's in Splenda

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Fenek99@reddit

Holy fart ! A professional :)

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confusedandworried76@reddit

Man put all that in a tortilla and throw it in a panini press what the fuck is shitty about this absolute plate

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PGHxplant@reddit

You beat me to the beers. This and a good second fermentation of hops and barley would turn me into the Hindenburg.

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The-D-O-Z@reddit

That's gonna make for an interesting Dutch Oven later on. Keep us updated on his reaction!

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YourUsernameBad@reddit

Grillos??

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chickpealuvr420@reddit (OP)

You know it

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NoImpression4299@reddit

Does your BF have a fart fetish? if so he would love that plate

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Backonmyshitmom@reddit

Honestly, this looks perfect 😭

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Comprehensive-Bend75@reddit

Well that was rude! Great keto dinner!

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Specialist_Simple789@reddit

Dinner? Looks like a snack >.>

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chickpealuvr420@reddit (OP)

True. This is more like my second dinner/midnight snack since it was pretty late

I'd already eaten a double protein chipotle bowl

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chaotemagick@reddit

She's a biggun

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Mugstotheceiling@reddit

I was gonna ask who’s making you eat dinner like this, treat yo self. But as a snack, ok

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Sarcasm_Llama@reddit

Right! This is what I eat while I'm making dinner

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Wang_Fire2099@reddit

That is such a random combination of foods to eat separately in such small quantities

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chickpealuvr420@reddit (OP)

I just wanted a lil salty/savory situation

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Wang_Fire2099@reddit

This looks like a pregnant woman's plate

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morahman7vn@reddit

Turkey pepperoni. . .

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flydoer@reddit

R/girldinner

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cerealkilla718@reddit

Why do people say this no matter what they see someone eating? Like oh farts, or my stomach is bubbling. How weak are people? Are you all just walking around farting and shitting irregularly all the time? What foods are safe? Saltines?

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cerareece@reddit

right the only thing I can kinda see is the eggs cause of sulfur but I see this on normal meals all the time. people need to eat more veggies/fiber and see if they have allium allergies or something

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Downbytuesday@reddit

Fart on his balls, I trust you will know the right time.

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cattycannabliss@reddit

pickles 🤤

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Electrical-Tone7301@reddit

Girl dinner!!

Fuck me I’m going to throw this one in someone’s face..

As a guy that got served girl dinner a lot during childhood and later in life…

It does not chooch. Don’t give this to your man except as a pre dinner snack.

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hlarsenart@reddit

Not enough pickled garlic

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chickpealuvr420@reddit (OP)

so true 💔 I only fished what I could out of the pickle brine

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confusedandworried76@reddit

OP I gotta let you know I'm very critical about the definition of girl dinner, you've plated it appropriately but I'm deducting points for the mere fact if you threw all this in a tortilla and even just toasted it, it's in fact just normal dinner.

The council has decided this is not girl dinner this is just eating food. You may appeal through the appropriate channels

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DOOBIEKILLER420@reddit

What kind of horrid burritos are you accustomed to that throwing these specific ingredients into a tortilla is “normal dinner”????!

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confusedandworried76@reddit

It's a wrap not a burrito

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erminefurs@reddit

What kind of horrid wraps are you accustomed to eating then?

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mensfrightsactivists@reddit

the best part of every wrap, as everyone knows, is the full edamame pod.

gif

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HardTruthFacts@reddit

You feed this to me as a wrap I will fight you

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wheelperson@reddit

Impersonating a member of council gets you 2 years of bad food ya know.

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therealtedbundy@reddit

The council has been disbanded and reprimanded for multiple violations and a blatant misunderstanding of the constitutional laws of Girl Dinner

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Sexisthunter@reddit

One time I got excited to make pickles so I bought a gallon sized jar and made a knockoff of Grillos. They were absolutely delicious after they were pickled the first two days. A week after they were pickled I got like fifteen cloves out and ate them all. They were basically not pickled and eating them made my stomach feel the most pain it’s ever felt in my life and for me that’s saying something. Satan was in my stomach and farts that night. I couldn’t stop yarfing and I had to go to the ER for an IV because I was so dehydrated.

That has almost nothing to do with this but I just caution anyone making pickled garlic to do more research than I did 😅

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chickpealuvr420@reddit (OP)

Holy shit friend, needing an IV over some garlic is absolute crazy work 😂 I'm sorry that happened to you and I will not forget your experience when I throw some more garlic in my leftover grillos brine

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Sexisthunter@reddit

I’m sure eating less than 15 will also help as well haha 😅 when I was eating them my dumbass was like “damn these taste like normal garlic cloves” lmaoooo but I have problems and love garlic so I still ate it 😅 I still like garlic but I haven’t had it pickled since lol

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ittybittynuts@reddit

No doubt. Pickled garlic is so fucking good.

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Fearless_Acadia588@reddit

Grillos?

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littlenoodledragon@reddit

That is a fuckin phenomenal girldinner.

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Sea_Structure_8692@reddit

Going for gold

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Total_Xenon@reddit

Some beans would go nicely with that.

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Jadey4455@reddit

Tf is girl dinner

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Alyycakes@reddit

Girl dinner for me is like…drinking only a can of monster in a day, maybe a hand full of French fries, and then complaining that my head hurts.

Hence ✨girl dinner✨

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hijinxxx_@reddit

Google: exists You:?????????

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Randomfrog132@reddit

asking random redditors is more fun sometimes

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Wr3ckless13@reddit

I like everything but the eggs, I just personally don't like boiled eggs. Replace that with some hummus and pita crackers... maybe some olives or pepperoncinis, and that's a great meal.

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babypho3nix@reddit

You'd think this is what I had for dinner the time my ex woke me up in the middle of the night to yell at me for farting in my sleep

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PeachesLatoure1944@reddit

The other night, this happened to me. It's never happened before, but my husband farted in his sleep, and the smell woke me up! I didn't wake him up, but I was waving the blankets and definitely giving him a dirty look, LOL. We had fresh jalapeño sausage that night. It ALWAYS does a number on us!😂😭😭💀😂

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baconandegglover@reddit

Wow, your ex was a huge pussy 😂

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Straight-Gas-7937@reddit

You win 😍🤤

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Dangerous-Courage412@reddit

🏃🏽‍♀️ 💨

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acrazyguy@reddit

If this is your actual dinner, I’m almost 100% certain you’re not eating enough. Though you probably know that, since the “girl dinner” thing is just eating disorders as a trend

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Tasty-Bug-3600@reddit

THIS! I see posts like this and this is the first thing on my mind. Like girl, your relationship with food is not healthy.

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braindamiged@reddit

Was abt to comment is girldinner shorthand for disordered cause this belongs in shittyrestrictionfood lol. Theres absolutely no malice in your comment so ppl are just downvoting cause its an uncomfortable truth

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Omnimidknight@reddit

We've got Edamame, Eggs, Cheese, Baby teeth, and Pepperoni.

All the food groups. Flawless! ✨👁️👄👁️✨

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mearbearcate@reddit

That pepperoni…. why does it look so horrid

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AffectionateKoala530@reddit

charcuterie boards, salads, and pasta e fagioli soup are my fart triggers 😪 no candles allowed on those days

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Ok_Yesterday5299@reddit

On Saturdays at my job we have my favorite specialty sides so I’ll get the veggie plate and get double collard greens, double ham and beans, and a single cabbage. Someone at work mentioned I must be hard to live with on Saturdays 😂

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shortbrnr@reddit

That’s your dinner? Um are you anorexic lol that’s not a normal amount of food for dinner

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idontwannabhear@reddit

U have cucumbers in there so at least they’ll have a cleansing air about them

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ChaoticxSerenity@reddit

You're sleeping on the couch tonight 💀💀💀

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fakelucid@reddit

Now this is toilet humor

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Old-Efficiency2274@reddit

It's the eggs, those make some kicking farts.

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xNOOPSx@reddit

You could bottle that as chemical weapons or sell it to people seeking brain damage.

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koolaidpussy@reddit

this is gas (literally)

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n1n384ll@reddit

https://youtu.be/Tk-5RVMerfI?si=VrPeFXIt_UiXVLZR

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bfaithless@reddit

Poor guy

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PraetorGold@reddit

Separate beds and then separate houses!!

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radrax@reddit

WE'RE GOING GOT GOLD THIS YEAR 💨💨

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shizuka28m@reddit

Constipation plate

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Which_Challenge_9754@reddit

Bye bye boyfriend if you flaff the blankets in the middle of the night 🤣

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WinstonMomo@reddit

This looks like what I would feed my toddler

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chickpealuvr420@reddit (OP)

Your toddler sounds cool af. Pediatric fart olympics

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dijonriley@reddit

i see an appetizer for one..where's dinner?

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chickpealuvr420@reddit (OP)

First dinner was a double sofritas chipotle bowl with red chimichurri and a large order of queso

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mattrmcg1@reddit

Loving the Fartcuterie board here

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AshamedRazzmatazz805@reddit

This gave me the best laugh, reading this on my birthday morning. What a great way to start to day 🤣 thank you for this. I enjoy all these items, ate most of them yesterday AND enjoyed a mango lime BoochCraft last night. Twins 👯‍♀️

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