[-]

bainardgray@reddit

Fun fact. This incident is where the phrase “taking a knee” comes from. The origins and true meaning have been lost to the ages.

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pragmaticweirdo@reddit

Once, there was this girl who swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion

[-]

Roland-Of-Eld-19@reddit

And when she finally maaaade it.... she.... saw..... some other girl who was better......

[-]

Old_Cheesecake_5309@reddit

And so she hired some guy to club her in the Kneeee caaaaps

[-]

_Internet_Hugs_@reddit

Then, after orchestrating the assault on her rival the blonde one went to the Olympics and skated to the Jurrassic Park theme.

[-]

Youcants1tw1thus@reddit

You left out the part where she broke a lace and ugly cried while begging the judges on live tv and subsequent televised Olympics recaps! Her crying face lives in my head rent free still to this day.

[-]

kitchen_witchery_ks@reddit

It's been a long journey, from Milan to Minsk

[-]

card-board-board@reddit

Tonya was from my hometown and I can tell you honestly: Tonya went clubbing. Everybody from SW Washington has a Tonya tavern spotting story. She was like the Bigfoot of drinking establishments.

[-]

jaymzx0@reddit

I had a friend from down there too with stories. I guess she was like the Courtney Love of SW WA.

[-]

Cube-in-B@reddit

Portland has a lot of Courtney love stories too. My old manager at McMennamins got hepatitis C from sharing needles with Courtney in the 90’s

[-]

Cube-in-B@reddit

Yep! She also stole my friend June’s bicycle when they were kids!

Most Oregonians have a Tonya story or know someone who does.

[-]

nanneryeeter@reddit

One of my friends used to be a barfly down that way. He had a Tonya story! Said it was weird to see her. An "oh shit! No way!" Moment.

[-]

I used to work with a woman who confided in me that once she walked into her kitchen to find her uncle snorting a line off Tonya Harding's bare chest. Their whole family was mortified over it, like one of the most trailer-trash incidents of all time occurred under their roof.

[-]

austinmiles@reddit

I’m going to need you to clear up some of those vague “hers”

Your friend saw her own uncle doing coke off of Tonya?

Or your friend saw Tonya’s uncle doing coke off of his niece?

Or I guess your friend and Tonya have the same uncle.

[-]

EyelandBaby@reddit

I’m clear on whose uncle; wondering whose kitchen

[-]

BeenisHat@reddit

Anyone else just hear the Pornhub drum fill?

[-]

imhereforthevotes@reddit

As in, her breasts?

[-]

ipsumdeiamoamasamat@reddit

Tonya seems like the type who would end up getting railed in the woman’s bathroom.

[-]

texasipguru@reddit

Can’t tell whether you got the joke or not

[-]

card-board-board@reddit

Oh I get the joke. She was from my hometown. At first everyone was all proud that we had an Olympian. After the incident with the club everyone was like "well... shit."

I also remember when Jeff Gillooly got let out of prison and know what he changed his name to post-release so he could distance himself from it.

[-]

flamingknifepenis@reddit

Can confirm. I’m from the same and I definitely met a lot of people who had run-ins with her.

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ipsumdeiamoamasamat@reddit

gif

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SpiritualEdge5743@reddit

Yup and hey absolutely hammered...

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ConspiracyParadox@reddit

gif

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Wise_Monitor_Lizard@reddit

gif

Nancy after clubbing be like...

[-]

roxylikeahurricane@reddit

😭🤣

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yayoffbalance@reddit

i died. thank you.

[-]

PintoTheBurninator@reddit

Tonya just wanted it more. Plus, she had this hot skanky vibe going on that made her hotter.

[-]

PlayNicePlayCrazy@reddit

One of the first "leaked" celebrity sex tapes also.

[-]

DickMartin@reddit (OP)

Everyone remembers Pam and Tommy’s as the 1st one… and for good reason.

[-]

reereejugs@reddit

It was a good tape.

[-]

jiggscaseyNJ@reddit

and then…the villain made a sex tape that no one was asked for. Curiosity got the best of some of us.

[-]

ConcreteKeys@reddit

Speaking of...Which one of you perverts is brave enough to admit you watched Lorena Bobbits ex husband's porn AFTER they sewed it back on? I wasn't curious enough for that one!

[-]

reereejugs@reddit

I was 💀

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Toblogan@reddit

I didn't watch it, but did have the thought of giving his junk a nickname like Shredder or Scarface. You know, because of the scar... 😂🤣

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95blackz26@reddit

i didn't follow this beyond she cut it off but damn they sewed the thing back on and then dude makes a porno

[-]

djsynrgy@reddit

Hard pass!

My Mom was actually a character witness for Lorena's defense; the whole thing was 'too close to home.'

[-]

95blackz26@reddit

is it worse than paris hiltons? i bought that shit and tried to give it away like 3 times and it always came back

[-]

Fun_Can_4498@reddit

Oh man, I’m going to do some research

[-]

orthomonas@reddit

Don't, from what I've read, she really didn't want it released.

[-]

sundaemourning@reddit

her husband recorded the sex tape without her knowledge and threatened to release it. she only agreed because she knew he was going to do it anyway and might as well get some money out of it.

[-]

perrin68@reddit

Wondered how far down id scroll first this.

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FrozenOcean420@reddit

You just unlocked a pear shaped breast memory I had forgotten I even had.

[-]

lagomorphed@reddit

I started figure skating cuz of Tonya! Before the knee capping situation, though. She was the first American woman to land a triple axle in competition, and I thought that was pretty bad ass. They turned out to be much more difficult than anticipated.

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whenveganscheat@reddit

There is no aspect of figure skating, except for jazz hands, that looks easy to me.

[-]

Adventurous_Big5686@reddit

I don't know, I seen some of the women eat shit when getting thrown. I'm pretty sure I could accomplish that flawlessly

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Cube-in-B@reddit

The men also often eat shit

[-]

Professional_Cry581@reddit

I haven't heard crashing referred to as "eat shit" for a hot moment.

[-]

Adventurous_Big5686@reddit

I suppose it's a xennial thing? Anytime someone or something ends up in the ground or on their keester..it's oh man they just ate shit

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ArchSchnitz@reddit

I use it with my kids, pets, and running buddies... quite often. The kids don't fall as often as they used to, so it's not as useful, but my cats are all dumb little fatasses that have not a gram of coordination or brain to share.

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jaymoney1@reddit

Winter is coming. Hopefully your kids will eat shit so you can point it out.

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ArchSchnitz@reddit

A man can dream...

Though my son is damn near my size. When we eat shit, it's the whole fertilizer farm at once. I'll spare him.

[-]

Kalathefox@reddit

My favorite quote currently; if you're gonna eat shit.... don't nibble

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Kalathefox@reddit

Afp95 fan perhaps?

[-]

RaspberryVespa@reddit

Because of your comment, I think I just finally consciously realized that “eat shit and die!” means I hope you fall down and die, not I hope you literally eat shit and die. 🤔

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jaymzx0@reddit

Funny (to me) story from a few weeks ago: I was grabbing dinner with some traveling coworkers. The guy from the Philippines catches his foot on the seatbelt climbing out of the back row of a big Uber and grabs the door to save himself. It's his first time in the States and is so-so on English.

I said, "You almost, as we say, ate shit on that."

Korean guy says, "Yea, I think that saying is universal."

[-]

JenninMiami@reddit

That would be my specialty 😆

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vicariousgluten@reddit

Even that requires letting go of the wall.

[-]

jaymzx0@reddit

Rollerskating memory unlocked

[-]

lagomorphed@reddit

I found most of the spins and the actual gliding around really easy at the time. The jumps are.. some are significantly harder than others. I "only" got up to a double axle and was mad about it at the time 😂

[-]

CharmyLah@reddit

And now even a few women can do quad jumps (not axles tho)! Its crazy how the sport has progressed.

[-]

AnthrallicA@reddit

I'm still waiting to see an Iron Lotus get whipped out IRL 😅

[-]

LemonSkye@reddit

I mean, not exactly too many men's pairs skaters to attempt that one... without the decapitation, anyway.

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Ambitious_Jelly8783@reddit

gif

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Cael_NaMaor@reddit

Watch Attack of the 5'2" Women

[-]

Deep-Interest9947@reddit

Kids these days don’t have Channel 1 to break down the latest pop culture scandal for them in detail every morning.

[-]

Madolah@reddit

Kids these days don't got Pop Up Video, and it Shows

[-]

Unusualandyman@reddit

I was probably 1 of 4 kids who got excited to watch Channel 1 every day.

[-]

Mick_Limerick@reddit

God bless Lisa Ling

[-]

lecoqmako@reddit

You just threw me back into fifth grade when I dressed up as Connie Chung for career day

[-]

DickMartin@reddit (OP)

Urge to ask to see a picture rising…

[-]

PokerbushPA@reddit

The Council formally requests a Connie Chung cosplay 6 there will be sanctions.

(Don't fight the urge, man... you just gotta phrase it like it's not optional. Like showering after gym class)

[-]

DickMartin@reddit (OP)

Showering after gym class is certainly the reddest of all the Xennial flags.

[-]

Sk8rToon@reddit

I still have my pog Tanja Harding Slammer with the picture of a hand carrying a club on it (I also have an OJ Simpson in the Slammer slammer)

[-]

PhantoWolf@reddit

TeamTawnia in this household.

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KDallas84@reddit

Eye-in' that leg there, all out in the open, all unprotected....

[-]

SoBeDragon0@reddit

This is where Kerrigan from StarCraft gets her name. I think the story goes that SCs competitor at the time (Command and Conquer) had a protagonist named Tonya, so Blizzard responded by making their antagonist Kerrigan.

[-]

Face88888888@reddit

Damn I miss ecto-cooler.

[-]

Stevey1001@reddit

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kinopiokun@reddit

I shared an elevator with Tonya at a screening of I, Tonya. I’ll never be the same 😂

[-]

tracyveronika@reddit

Nancy was playing 4d chess with her dress choice. That was 1000% intentional.

[-]

SaskatchewanManChild@reddit

Seems time is all the Karma that was needed. Tonya is now a….. wait for it….. custodian, while Nancy is living her best life being a public speaker, advocate for the visually impaired, skating sometimes, and raising her 3 kids. Best to you Nancy!

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atampersandf@reddit

Whyyyyyyy!

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lopan75@reddit

Once there was this girl who Swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion And when she finally made it She saw some other girl who was better And so she hired some guy to Club her in the kneeeeee caaaaaaap

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Justkeeptalking1985@reddit

Better is debatable...

Nancy was definitely the style that was desired

[-]

Edexote@reddit

Oh God, you deserve an award for this.

[-]

rarelyapropos@reddit

For real, just perfect. No notes.

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ArmenStaubac@reddit

She wasn’t involved or even aware of the plan

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Bella4077@reddit

She also actually was the better skater.

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PapaTua@reddit

She didn't even do it.

[-]

--Quartz--@reddit

Mmmm mmmm mm mm

[-]

DickMartin@reddit (OP)

Garth… that’s a haiku

[-]

Fappy_as_a_Clam@reddit

Didn't Tonya start doing porn later on? Or am I getting my scandalized washed up athletes mixed up?

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SupaDave71@reddit

They knew what they were doing.

[-]

martymar2g@reddit

Nancy literally got the raw end of the stick

[-]

throwleavemealone@reddit

“I heard they are making a sequel to I, Tonya. It’s called I, Nancy. It’s about a nice lady who gets her knee bashed in by some trailer park assassin and then 25 years later has to see a great award-winning movie about how she’s not the victim." - John Mulaney

[-]

Santa_Hates_You@reddit

Nancy Kerrigan was like the 5th worst SNL host ever. They should have gotten Tonya Harding instead.

[-]

NaiveIntention3081@reddit

She'd have been a hit for sure

[-]

IllustriousTour9645@reddit

I was wondering if anyone was gonna mention the time she hosted SNL. Yeah, that was rough. The two worst hosts I remember seeing were Steven Seagal and her.

[-]

DickMartin@reddit (OP)

There’s thats 80s meanness that makes me feel like I’m home… or on the bus.

[-]

Santa_Hates_You@reddit

Say what you will about who did what to who, Tanya Harding is much funnier than Nancy Kerrigan.

[-]

bluemitersaw@reddit

That's because Kerrigan is a normal human who didn't want to be famous, just a damn good athlete. Harding on the other hand, well damn.

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Santa_Hates_You@reddit

I don’t think sense of humor has anything to do with that. She was just an awful choice to host a sketch comedy show.

[-]

JenninMiami@reddit

Can you imagine how much bigger this story would have been if social media had existed?!

gif

[-]

NaiveIntention3081@reddit

The memes would have been spectacular.

[-]

DickMartin@reddit (OP)

bigger might not have been possible. It was everywhere… and then the story kept getting weirder.

[-]

Neat-Gift-3624@reddit

gif

[-]

redditcreditcardz@reddit

This is one of my favorite FG moments. It goes on for so long but it’s so perfect

[-]

snow1868@reddit

Early FG bits were golden.

[-]

DrakonFyre@reddit

I’ve literally incorporated “Bon Jovi, everyone!” Into my vernacular

[-]

WiseDirt@reddit

Ladies and gentlemen, Conway Twitty.

[-]

hennsippin@reddit

Darlin’…

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snow1868@reddit

It changed the way I pronounced fajitas for a-why-hill.

[-]

bluemitersaw@reddit

Absolutely!!!! It goes from mild haha, to 'ahhh ok??", to freaking hilarious. I love this bit and totally I judge people on if they find it funny or not.

[-]

Piranha_Vortex@reddit

Only second to this is when Lois hits her tit and this bit follows

[-]

djsynrgy@reddit

I feel like I gotta submit "where's my money?" (Stewie delivering a Kingpin style beatdown on Brian,) as a strong contender.

And a solid honorable mention of the long-running gag of "shutup, Meg."

[-]

Dobako@reddit

I always loved stewies addiction to pancakes

"Click click bloody click pancakes!"

[-]

MainlineX@reddit

Perfect

[-]

Don_Shetland@reddit

gif

[-]

sunshineparadox_@reddit

That episode was on like an hour ago too. (I like noise in the background like an anxious cat.)

[-]

Queasy-Ad1326@reddit

"Hold my Ecto-Cooler" 😂

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TheB1G_Lebowski@reddit

iTonya was a really solid movie.

[-]

CrazyIrina@reddit

Skate wet.

:o

[-]

Organic_Subject_9854@reddit

I was just admiring your leg. I'd like to break it.

[-]

TeddyAtTheReady@reddit

Hold my Zubaz

[-]

Bibblegead1412@reddit

Man, I can still hear that "WWWHHHYYYYYYY"!!!

[-]

maggie320@reddit

Does anyone remember the short Spunk: The Tonya Harding story from Comedy Central? Tina Yothers played Tonya.

[-]

Wenlocke@reddit

Oh god, that title takes on a whole new meaning in British vernacular. Probably a different kind of movie too.

[-]

maggie320@reddit

Haha, definitely. I didn’t know the slang term back then, but that movie wouldn’t have been on Comedy Central and I definitely wouldn’t have watched it at 11 years old.

[-]

Santa_Hates_You@reddit

Holy shit, until you mentioned Tina Yothers I had forgotten all about that.

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maggie320@reddit

My dad had a wicked sense of humor we watched quite a bit of Comedy Central back then thanks to SCTV and SNL reruns and MST3K. Anyway they were hyping up Spunk and we finally saw the “premiere” and he thought that was the funniest thing. After that if there was any sort of figure skating on TV, hell even hockey games, he’d ask “Where’s Spunky?”

[-]

donutseason@reddit

What? Ya never heard of a Gillooly?

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ihavenoidea12345678@reddit

Just waiting for Joey buttafuco to show up!

[-]

militant_rainbow@reddit

gif

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Eephusblue@reddit

Whyyyyyyyyy

[-]

AytumnRain@reddit

🎶OnceOnce there was this girl who🎶

Love Weird Al and OG band Crash Test Dummies.

[-]

Edexote@reddit

Who's Nancy and who's Tonya? And who busted who?

[-]

Lostlilegg@reddit

She checking out those legs wink

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Edexote@reddit

I would as well.

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JosephBlowsephThe3rd@reddit

IIRC, one gripe Tonya had was that she had been criticized for wearing skimpy outfits like what Nancy is pictured in, so she went more coverage only for Nancy (and others) to go skimpy and be praised. She's not just checking out those legs, she's straight hatin'

[-]

Kazureigh_Black@reddit

You could post a picture of a loaf of bread in a bread sub and it would end up being post in that sub by somebody eventually. It needs to be renamed r/PeterGiveMeSomeKarma

[-]

flamingknifepenis@reddit

My theory is that it’s a front for some sort of AI training thing, because LLMs suck at humor and understanding culture references.

It’s the only way I can justify some of the absurd posts and comments I’ve seen there.

[-]

DickMartin@reddit (OP)

Popularity = selling out = lame

Only xennials see this anymore

[-]

DeadpoolAndFriends@reddit

I teach karate. Almost anytime we do a knee level swing with our Bo, I'll call out "And we NancyKerrigan there knee." My students all understand the reference at this point.

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doyoulikemyladysuit@reddit

I broke my shoelace! 😫

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dusktreader@reddit

I just see a silver medalist and a porn star.

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localm-@reddit

gif

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nocapnonerf@reddit

gif

WHY????!!!!

[-]

DrakonFyre@reddit

Why ask why? Try Bud Dry!

[-]

alehanjro2017@reddit

Feel free to be a little more liberal with the Y's.

[-]

CaptZombieHero@reddit

Knee capper

[-]

the-hound-abides@reddit

Angry upvote LMAO

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fourtytwoistheanswer@reddit

Damn you, take my up vote 😠

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Thereminz@reddit

gif

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General-Reserve9349@reddit

That shit was dark. Honestly early media trauma

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protoman86@reddit

Tanya used to practice at the Clackamas Town Center rink back in the day. We went on a school field trip there once and one of the kids from my class got in her way (none of us knew how to skate) and I remember her going off on him. She wasn’t a very nice person 😅.

[-]

frecklemimus79@reddit

The You’re Wrong About episodes about Tonya Harding are excellent

[-]

Brandamn3000@reddit

Yes! Came here to say this. I urge anyone who blames Tonya for this to listen to You’re Wrong About.

[-]

KoreyYrvaI@reddit

Had to go way too far down for this. Those of us who listened to those are looking at this like, "Yeah, but where's the dude who did it and can we please get a shot of him blowing the doors off the place with his dome."

[-]

finnishinsider@reddit

Watching figure skating made me a leg man before I knew what was going on.... Nancy and Katerina did something to me.....

[-]

Obelisk_of-Light@reddit

Meanwhile my Gen Z kids are all going on about “6-7” or whatever lame-ass brain rot is trending on tik tok.

Fellow Xennials, this was our meme.

[-]

DickMartin@reddit (OP)

I’ve been saying 6-7 to my kids as a way of saying “Just kidding”. (Same cadence)

[-]

spottydodgy@reddit

Let me explain, in song form!

https://share.google/2WrymQEdv5IXDuGMI

[-]

PokerbushPA@reddit

The drama around this was sooooo draining. They must have shown Nancy crying 15 times a day for over 6 months.

Every day I'd ask, "Must be a slow news day. Nothing else going on in the world again today?"

[-]

LGZ7981@reddit

Imagine how big it was on the Boston area news stations since Nancy was a hometown girl! I grew up in central Massachusetts and we could not get away from it.

[-]

DickMartin@reddit (OP)

I miss those days. And also when the news was at least (seemingly) truthful.

[-]

PokerbushPA@reddit

And the news was on in the morning, noon, and at night...AND THAT'S ALL. It was news, not opinion.

This is the stupid timeline.

[-]

DickMartin@reddit (OP)

I can’t say I’m shocked and somehow I’m still surprised everyday

[-]

XIENVYIX@reddit

Back in the day I used to watch her skate at the CTC (Clackamas Town Center) ice rink. One time I was in the parking lot and she was parked next to me and this was after that event happened and I gave her the finger and she gave me the stink eye. I'll never forget it.

[-]

Sufficient-Quote-431@reddit

I’m with team Tanya. Kerrigan was a brat. I wish Tanya had better taste in men

[-]

DickMartin@reddit (OP)

:: You’ve been Pantsed by OP ::

[-]

kayla622@reddit

As a 10-year old native Oregonian in 1994 who loved watching figure skating, I was obsessed with this scandal. Tonya and her goons were in the news every day. They were so dumb to dump their evidence in the trash behind a restaurant in NW Portland.

I also loved I, Tonya.

[-]

shadowlarx@reddit

I think this might have been a bigger scandal that that whole Tyson/Holyfield thing.

[-]

dex206@reddit

“Hold my ex to cooler” I love you

[-]

Youcants1tw1thus@reddit

One of my favorite local breweries makes a beer named Exto-cooler and it’s green, and tastes similar to a mimosa.

[-]

DickMartin@reddit (OP)

1-800-I FEEL OK

[-]

FairNeedleworker9722@reddit

Why do girls waste their lives hating eachother?

[-]

InNausetWeTrust@reddit

Peak Figure Skating…. This story captured sports for what seemed like forever….

[-]

IceSmiley@reddit

Oh my god Nancy was so fit

[-]

DickMartin@reddit (OP)

have you heard what goes on during the Olympics back at the athletes dorms?

Is it sexual? (and yes that’s a Dear John reference) only sub I can pull that off.

[-]

Gab83IMO@reddit

Literally became 'Pulling a Tonya'

[-]

Roland-Of-Eld-19@reddit

Let Weird Al Sing you about it

[-]

Shameless522@reddit

“My knee, why me and not Kristi Yamaguchi?” -Nancy probably

[-]

DickMartin@reddit (OP)

Kristi Yamaguchi was an angel who floated with bones made of clouds

[-]

camarhyn@reddit

I used to have a Kristi Yamaguchi poster I got at a book fair when I was really little. I treasured that thing.

[-]

CaptZombieHero@reddit

Comments before hiring someone for disaster. Why!?!?!

[-]

anOvenofWitches@reddit

gif

To this day I’ll randomly bust out “and she cried like Nancy Kerrigan!”

[-]

Josephthebear@reddit

WHHYY!? WHHYY!?

[-]

Level-Bottle-1578@reddit

Why her?!?!

[-]

ukehero1@reddit

Don’t even tell them the story, just go watch I Tanya! That movie was amazing

[-]

VectorJones@reddit

Memba when everyone thought the decline of civilization were the endless, sensationalized news reports about criminal morons bungling their way through half-assed crimes, rather than the endless sensationalized news reports about the dystopian machinations of fascist scumbags?

[-]

DickMartin@reddit (OP)

I remember when Mortal Kombat had to tone down the blood.

[-]

GarminTamzarian@reddit

I remember the product endorsement this spawned...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=d14JgpIuhpQ

[-]

DickMartin@reddit (OP)

Shoosh… Nice cue!

[-]