When did people stop referring to their bosses at work as “Mr./Ms.”?
Posted by excessively314@reddit | AskAnAmerican | View on Reddit | 627 comments
I’m almost 30, have been working for 12 years or so, and even in serious positions, I’ve always referred to my boss/superior by their first name per their introduction. In older movies & TV, even adult men refer to their boss as “Mr. Lastname”. I’m curious; when did this fall out of fashion?
EnvironmentalNeat710@reddit
I have worked at an investment bank (~30 years) since graduating from college… we address everyone formerly, using their last names.
It became habit and now I address everyone in my life by their formal last name.
Trick_Owl8261@reddit
It probably depends on the job and geographic area but I’m 42 and have had a dozen jobs and I’ve never called a boss or professor anything except their first name.
RunExisting4050@reddit
I started working professionally in aero/defense engineering in 1997 and everyone was one a first name basis, except for members of the military and very important government peopl.
Phonic-Frog@reddit
I'm 44, been working since I was 12.
I've never called my bosses by their honorifics outside of court.
OddBottle8064@reddit
Addressing my teachers in grade school is the only time I can ever using mr/mrs for anything.
MyUsername2459@reddit
Yeah, I'm in my 40's. . .I've never called a boss by any honorific EXCEPT when I was in the military and addressing them by rank or sir/ma'am as appropriate. . .or if I had to testify in court (and I work in the legal field).
Whenever this was normal, it was before the 1990's.
Poppet_CA@reddit
As an Army brat, my parents insisted I call adults Mr /Mrs because it was a sign of respect instilled through the service. It was pretty normal on base/post.
It drove them nuts when they retired and the civilians would insist on given names! So we did Mr. Joe and Ms. Jane until we were finally adults ourselves. It still feels weird to call some folks (like my aunts, uncles, and older cousins) by just their first names instead of their titles!
Severe_Departure3695@reddit
Yep. I made my kids call our neighbors Miss Angela, Mr Keith, etc. as a sign of respect for elders. It greatly irritates my wife and I that they allow their kids to use our first names only.
blankmedaddy@reddit
What does it have to do with respect? And why on earth would you care that others don’t force their kids to do so? Also, respect is EARNED. I don’t respect anyone just because they’re older than me.
Macaron1jesus@reddit
I was born in 1966, and we always called our elders by Mr, Mrs, or Miss. The only time that we could drop the title and use just their name is if they asked us to. Aunts aand Uncles had the same rule. As an older person now myself, I realize that times have changed, and many younger people were not raised this way, so if someone calls me by just my name It doesn't bother me like it would have 30 or 40 years ago. The younger generation was just never taught, and I don't blame them. As long as they are acting and speaking respectfully, I don't mind. I do run into younger people occasionally who do still call me Miss (name), but that's only about 20 percent of the time.
Zagaroth@reddit
The weird thing to me is, I don't understand how it is 'respect'. It never made me respect anyone more, and I have generally thought poorly of people who insisted on formal titles and honorifics.
To me, it looks like using your position in society to command a show of respect, rather than just being someone who is actually respected because of who they are.
This is coming from someone who is 51 years old, did 6 years active, and another 14 in the ANG. I've saluted and said "yes sir" to a lot more officers than I ever actually respected. I find titles and honorifics to often be hollow, and I have felt that way for as long as I can remember.
They feel like remnants of the old feudal systems, with 'my lord' and 'milady'. Hmm.
checks
Yeah, Mister and Miss/Mrs are derived from Master/Mistress, though in the older, general meaning of a person in charge. But I never felt that most adults other than my parents, teachers, or people like police and firemen were 'in charge' of me or had any authority, and the teacher's authority was limited to the school grounds.
Puddin370@reddit
I agree. I'm also a veteran. My mother who was born and raised in the south purposely didn't force me the say sir/ma'am to everyone. She felt it was subservient. I raised my son the same way because I see those terms as hollow meaningless words. Respect is shown by actions not empty words.
53mm-Portafilter@reddit
It’s none of that. A first name in western cultures, historically was used for “familiar” interaction. Meaning, unless we are close friends or family we are not on “a first-name-basis”.
Addressing someone as Mr. So-and-so is not “showing respect”, so much as the opposite is showing DISrespect. Calling someone by their first name implies a familiar relationship, where one does not exist.
It’s not about being in charge of anyone. It’s just about social formality. First-names were just not used outside of a friendly personal context. I suppose, the workplace has become less formal over time, and thus first names have become the normal. “We’re a family at Widget Co.”. it’s part of that same mindset.
Zagaroth@reddit
For most of European history, most people did not have last names, so it is a relatively recent thing that happened for a few centuries at most, and has mostly died out, outside of formal circumstances and the military.
coddat@reddit
My grandfather was a retired colonel, outside of a business situation, it was always, “call me Les, just Les.”
Working_Estate_3695@reddit
I thought his name was Angus. Colonel Angus.
Mountain_Economist_8@reddit
So you’re saying he loved to Les out?
Advanced_Ad8537@reddit
I vehemently hate the idea that people deserve respect just because they’re older. There’s too many old cunts and idiots out there. Bonus points if they insist you call them Mr./Mrs.
devilbunny@reddit
It costs you absolutely nothing but an extra syllable. I don’t call people “hey, cuntface”. Why not? Because it’s rude.
I’m a doctor. Every patient over the age of 12 or so is “Mr/Ms X” unless we have a personal relationship outside the hospital.
Advanced_Ad8537@reddit
Or I can call them by their name because we’re both adults and I’m going to act like we’re equals. I don’t find it rude to use someone’s name, it’s not like I’m walking around calling people derogatory terms. I’m just not going to place someone above myself simply because of their age, which is pretty much what calling someone sir/ ma’am/ mr./ mrs. implies. I’d rather interact with people who see me on equal terms as themselves and if they can’t deal with that then they can fuck off. I’m not going to listen to all of the “That’s Mr. Whatever to you,” bullshit.
markmakesfun@reddit
Yeah, you certainly wouldn’t want to have respect for someone, because, damnit, you are as good as anyone else in the world in your opinion. Wouldn’t wanna burst your ego bubble. 😂
Advanced_Ad8537@reddit
Well in most scenarios, if someone is going to get bent out of shape about me using their title they’re going to lose most of my respect anyway.
markmakesfun@reddit
You keep purposely ignoring what I’m saying. You can’t see past your own issues. Showing someone respect, unlike your opinion, doesn’t require them ”demand” anything. If you can’t get past that short-sighted opinion, we should stop chatting. It’s not always about you and your feelings.
Persis-@reddit
See, my mother taught me respect is more than words, it’s how you treat someone. So, it is respectful to call someone what they prefer to be called. Other than in my teaching job, I do not prefer “Mrs LastName.” I would be annoyed if I told you I prefer my first name, and you insisted on calling me Mrs. LastName.
To me, that says that how you feel I should be called is more important than what I want to be called.
So, I ask people what they want to be called, or use what they introduce themselves as.
I also do not call my doctor Dr LastName, because she is my friend and our sons are best friends.
markmakesfun@reddit
Sure the circumstances change and it is a moving target, often. I had a teacher of Art History in college. She was in her 50’s, had a doctorate, wrote books on the topics, did residencies around the world and was incredibly learned in the field. If you asked a “dumb student” question, she was smart enough to answer your question while tying it together with the larger view of the subject. She was a gem. I called her Dr.professor-name. So did everyone else in the class. She earned the appellation by her knowledge and wisdom. Sure, I had other teachers I called Jon or Steven. But she was different. Dr. It was!
As a college teacher, some students came to my class being prepped to call me by my last name. It was fine. Some used my first name, some used Mr. Lastname and a few landed on Mr. First name. It was all fine with me. What ever the particular student was comfortable with.
devilbunny@reddit
It is very dependent on social norms, of course, but when a 50-year-old doctor calls a 16-year-old surgical patient “Mr Jones”, it’s not because I think he’s above me. It’s both respect and social distance. I am not his friend. We are not having a social interaction. I demand no more respect than I show, but I am not on a first-name basis with randos.
Advanced_Ad8537@reddit
Again, I’m referring to general interactions. My opposition is to the concept that people deserve respect simply because they’re older, as stated in my first comment. This is a real concept that has been drilled into many Americans and I think it’s dumb. Treating people with respect is a given until they display that they don’t deserve it.
SilvanSorceress@reddit
You're missing the point I think. If someone is no longer a child, the respectful thing to do is call them Mr., Mrs., Ms., or their requisite honorific (such as Dr.) This is what /u/DevilBunny was referring to in their previous comment. It doesn't have to do with them being older than you, just old enough.
If anything, I find OPs question a bit odd because I refer to everyone at work as Mr. Surname (or whatever honorific would be appropriate) irrespective of seniority.
Zagaroth@reddit
I would be annoyed as hell if someone insisted on calling me 'Mr.'
You don't need to make shows of respect in order to be polite, and there is nothing rude about using first names. Honorifics are old artifacts of archaic feudal systems, and outside of limited professional settings need to die.
Zesli@reddit
The respectful thing is to call people what they want to be called, even if you think it’s more respectful to call them Mr/Ms/Mrs/Dr/etc.
Persis-@reddit
I’ve never worked in a job where ANYONE used Mr/Mrs. Neither has my husband, and we are approaching 50
devilbunny@reddit
In fairness, it is very unusual in a workplace to address nobody by their first name.
MassiveDisaster00@reddit
Ok, but you’re missing the point. In certain professional applications I will call a 16 year old Mr/Ms X. They are not my superior, they’re young enough to be my child. It’s a measure of professional distance and respect for their individual autonomy.
Advanced_Ad8537@reddit
I already made an exception for formal/ professional settings in my comment from three hours ago.
MassiveDisaster00@reddit
Ok, so I would ask you then in what situation do we know a client’s name and not call them by an honorific? I’d argue we never stopped calling people Mr/M(r)s.
Advanced_Ad8537@reddit
The fact that you’re using the word “client” implies you’re still talking about a professional setting. We’ve gotten so far off base from what I was originally talking about. My first comment was in response to someone who said their military parents drilled them about calling every adult by their title. The point I was trying to make is that the concept of “respect your elders no matter what” is dumb in most instances as there’s plenty who don’t deserve it. What you have to call people when you’re at work is irrelevant to me.
SnooChipmunks2079@reddit
I had a doctor call and say, “ hello this is John Smith, I’ve got your lab work back…”
And I couldn’t figure out who the heck he was until he got to the lab work part. “Dr. Smith” would’ve been much more useful.
markmakesfun@reddit
Yes, understandable. Doctors have patients not ‘pals.’ I refer to my doctor as Dr. and he refers to me as Mr.. It works out just fine.
It’s similar when it comes to college. If the professor has 10 years of eduction and 20 years in their field they are learned. As a student, you are not their “peer.” If they ask to be called by Professor or Doctor, just do so and move on. You might be as unprofessional as hell, but that doesn’t mean everyone should follow your example. If you can’t show respect for someone who worked hard to have credentials in their field, drop out and work at Jiffy Lube. Your boss will be okay with you calling him Bob.
zombie__kittens@reddit
How on Earth does someone’s professional credentials entitle them to respect from an individual in passing? Same with age. Respect is earned; just being old or going to school has nothing to do with being respectable. If someone prefers a particular form of address, that’s their choice, but demanding people respect them without actually being a decent and honorable person is absolutely idiotic.
markmakesfun@reddit
No, your “rationalization” is idiotic. You are saying “prove it to me first and I will then be respectful.” But will you? It doesn’t seem like it. You seem like another person who can’t admit that other people are sometimes more advanced than you, even if they have credentials to prove it. You can be as disrespectful as you want to be, but it’s neither “perceptive” or “clever.” It’s just defensiveness when one feels inferior.
In short, if you have never met anyone who you felt immediately deserved respect, you either haven’t met any one of significance or you slept through it when it happened. Most civilized countries respect their elders, experts and professionals. Only in America do people claim that they are equal to anyone, regardless of their personal shortcomings. See, some people are really more equal than others. And it has nothing to do with them being “a good person” in your personal estimation. That’s another fallacy, based on a sense of entitlement which was surely unearned.
AccountWasFound@reddit
Literally none of the good professors at my college cared about honorifics, literally just the power tripping humanities profs that would argue the random technical writing class should be more important than like senior design at an engineering school.
Zagaroth@reddit
You are mistaking 'rude/polite' for 'terms of respect'.
You can still be equally polite to people younger, older, or the same age as you. There is no need to be extra polite, i.e. 'respectful', just because someone is older.
Respect is earned. Politeness is the default.
UncleOdious@reddit
So in your mind calling someone by their given name is equivalent to calling someone "cuntface?" You need to simmer down a bit.
quietlywatching6@reddit
That's interesting, the doctors around here are pretty laid back then. They always come in First/Last name? Okay, I don't have it charted, how do you prefer to be addressed? One of the ER doctors told me that's an easy way to get a patient thinking you are being condescending if you use a title on them. As non-binary it's nice not to have the added stress of the wrong address, or correcting them.
smokingcrater@reddit
Its safe to assume they have a lifetime of experiences (that you do not have) and your hair would turn white from the shit they have seen. Give them some respect.
Ever think the reason you think they are cunts is maybe because of you?
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Zagaroth@reddit
As someone who is 51 years old and a retired veteran, I 110% agree.
Being old doesn't get you any automatic respect. You should still be polite, but that's the same politeness you should be showing to people in general.
thewanderbeard@reddit
💯
On_my_last_spoon@reddit
Like you called your aunts Mrs Jane? I call mine Aunt Jane
cjbanning@reddit
I didn't stop using Aunt and Uncle even when I got older.
SnooChipmunks2079@reddit
I pretty much gave up on “Uncle“ with my one Uncle in my 20s, simply because he never acted very much like an Uncle.
He was my only actual uncle; there were lots of great-uncles, and I call all of them Uncle.
On_my_last_spoon@reddit
I still do most of the time
Poppet_CA@reddit
Aunt Jane, Uncle John, Cousin Jack. 😅
premiumPLUM@reddit
I think they're saying they called her Aunt Jane and had a difficult time dropping the "aunt"
TheRealTaraLou@reddit
Auntie for sure
jackfaire@reddit
I was in the Army and realized quickly that most people are showing more respect when they use given names than Honorifics. Mr/Mrs is a way to create distance between yourself and the other person. To me that's less respect not more.
CreatrixAnima@reddit
I hate it when people force their kids to call me miss my name or ms my name. I want to be called by my first name, and I feel like it’s disrespectful to not call me by my first name when I request it.
deleteundelete@reddit
I agree.
cguess@reddit
Growing up in the midwest in the 90's and in high school in the early 2000's parents were almost always Mr/Mrs unless there was a nickname they were cool with. Wasn't a respect thing as much as I just... didn't know their first names most of the time.
selimnagisokrov@reddit
My grandma hated it. I called her ma'am because all women are ma'am, all men sir. I even call my dad sir to this day (I am 36).
mrbazo@reddit
Same, and I am in my sixties
WaldoJeffers65@reddit
I got my first "real" job in the early 80s, and everyone was on a first name basis with everyone else, so maybe the 70s?
deleteundelete@reddit
How many times have your bosses taken you to court?
Crazy-4-Conures@reddit
Came to adulthood in 1970s. Wasn't normal then either.
Weary-Astronaut1335@reddit
And then there's aircrew where it wasn't uncommon to hear an E3 say to an O4 "well you fucked that up didn't you Bill?"
captmonkey@reddit
Also in my 40s and similar experience here. I will say the one exception I can think of was also when I was in the military. There were a couple of high ranking civilians (like GS-13 and above) whom everyone called "Mr. Soandso". Lower ranking civilians, we tended to just call by their first name.
In the civilian world, I don't recall ever calling anyone Mr. Whatever. I called the CEO of the last company I worked for by his nickname.
Appropriate-Food1757@reddit
Same
Throwaway-ish123a@reddit
Same. 50 here never called a boss by their honorific, only teachers.
REC_HLTH@reddit
Professor here. We call our bosses by their first name. We call eachother Dr. LastName in front of students.
JenniferJuniper6@reddit
59, and same.
Any-Concentrate-1922@reddit
Sounds like you have a story. Or you're lawyer.
Gullible-Apricot3379@reddit
Or just get called to testify regularly.
excessively314@reddit (OP)
DG employees already get put through the wringer enough. Can’t imagine having to talk to LE about your place getting robbed
GypsySnowflake@reddit
What’s DG?
excessively314@reddit (OP)
Dollar General. Discount store that’s notorious for leeching off rural poverty & understaffing its stores.
WonderfulProtection9@reddit
Ah, I know that store. So does my credit card fraud department. Someone had the bright idea of trying to run a $500 transaction on my stolen card there.
$500 at a dollar store (everything was still limited to a dollar back then.)
FrostyIcePrincess@reddit
There’s ons of those by my house, but I live in an area with lots of fully stocked grocery stores to choose from
Hispanic grocery stores Asian grocery stores Smith’s/Walmart/WinCo etc
I’ve gone into a nearby dollar store a handful of times
I’m lucky that I don’t have to rely on them for groceries.
Sadly some people do.
xtianlaw@reddit
Dollar General, I'm guessing?
Fast_Allen@reddit
My mind went to Dolce & Gabbana and I was picturing thieves running away with ten purses on each arm
netsurf916@reddit
He has a face only a jury could love?
Phonic-Frog@reddit
Not much of a story.
The first time was when I was working at a DG and had to testify about our store getting robbed.
Second time was testifying as a security guard about a clients ex-employee who was caught vandalizing company cars after he was fired.
LTG-Jon@reddit
When I worked as an admin in an academic office in the late ‘80s/early ‘90s, the senior department leaders were all “Dr. So-and-so.” Almost all other staff went by first name regardless of rank, except for one jerk who insisted on being called “Miss Brown.”
FormicaDinette33@reddit
I think that's a little different though since they are PhDs.
SilverStory6503@reddit
Currently retire and same.
deleteundelete@reddit
How many times have your bosses taken you to court?
GoCardinal07@reddit
I'm 40. I worked for several politicians earlier in my career, and we always addressed them by first name, except when speaking in official government hearings.
Ok_Chemist6567@reddit
Or a kitchen
Phonic-Frog@reddit
Nah, never called anyone by their honorifics in a kitchen either. If someone gets pissy and upset about not being called Chef, they're not someone I want to work with.
Ok_Chemist6567@reddit
Lmao ok
luvitis@reddit
Same. I’m 45 and started working in 1994. We called my first manager “Chili Bill”. He had it on his name tag. We weren’t even in food service.
BreakfastDue1256@reddit
I called my boss's boss "Mr. Last name." But my bosses were Sue and Sam.
Zappagrrl02@reddit
I’m 41, started babysitting around 12. When I was first babysitting, I’d refer to Mr/Mrs whoever because they were either neighbors or my dad’s teacher colleagues so I was already calling them that. I work in education so I’ve sometimes called my boss by Mr/Ms/Dr Last Name so we don’t forget to call them that in front of students. But otherwise, I’ve always called my bosses by their first name.
Derwin0@reddit
I’m 54 and I’ve always called my bosses by their first name (with the exception of when I was active duty).
On_my_last_spoon@reddit
I don’t think my Dad even had his employees call him Mr and that’s going back to the early 1980s
anillop@reddit
Never a boss, but occasionally a client who has a stick up their ass. It’s real obvious because they make their own employees do it. It’s usually only the top guy though.
Grelivan@reddit
I've never done this and im in my mid 40s. I haven't used Mr. or Mrs. as a term of ceded authority since high school.
Comfortable-Race-547@reddit
When you are introduced to them i suppose
Overall_Chemist1893@reddit
I think the culture became a lot more casual after the 1960s, and it continued to be casual-- but not everywhere. There are still some businesses where being formal and polite is expected, and one's boss is called Mr or Ms or whatever honorific they use. Similarly, in academia, I know some universities where first names are fine, but others where they are not. I might call my boss by their first name if we're out having lunch, but in a professional setting, I've always been taught to use their title. Additionally, I've taught in colleges where my students wanted to call me by my first name, but others where everyone used the person's title (Professor). It really varies. I'd "read the room" and see what the corporate culture is-- these days, there are no hard and fast rules.
TucsonTacos@reddit
We should bring it back but not for bosses, for all coworkers.
“Mr Smith can you pass me that wrench?” “Here you are Mr Gomez”
SnowSkye2@reddit
Ew no. It’s just a way for people to know the marriage status of a woman. It’s so gross. Don’t call me Miss or Ms or Mrs. Don’t assume and don’t bring it up either. Easy when you’re a man and it’s simply Mr. That was the actual point of it by the way.
TucsonTacos@reddit
Fair point. I was imagining like an old timey ship’s crew like “hoist the rigging Mr Jones! Mr Reilly, where is my grapeshot?!”
offensivename@reddit
When I taught school, all the teachers called each other Mr. or Mrs. and the last name because that was how all the kids had to address us and we honestly didn't know each other's first names most of the time. It was a trip being 23 and having a 50-something teacher call me Mr.
Rokmonkey_@reddit
I had one teacher in school only refer to us with honorifics as students. It was very odd. Kinda flattering though.
Bread4025@reddit
This is too funny. I have a new guy starting on Monday (maintenance work) and am gonna do this and act like it's normal.
SnowSkye2@reddit
That’s wild, I AM 30 and I have never once done it. It sounds really juvenile for one thing, as if you’re not both adults + a remnant of childlike view where every adult is basically your teacher. For another, for women it’s technically referring to her marriage status which is honestly rude at this juncture. I dislike being called Miss OR Ms. for men it’s just Mr. feels icky and antiquated as fuck. For the record I’ve grown up in America, but was born out of the country where we refer to older people as Aunti and uncle. I’m not going to call my boss that though, we’re on an even playing field there.
YankeeTwoKilo@reddit
I’ve always done it but I’ve never been told to. I guess I was just raised that way.
rod19more@reddit
In the early 2000's I got tired of bosses saying, I'm not Mr. ______ that's my dad's name.🙄 Yeah they were actually Mr. Asshole
hamknuckle@reddit
When my boss told me to call him Tim
icedragon42@reddit
Because they kept saying respect was earned until we realized that applied to them too.
hereFOURallTHEtea@reddit
I turn 40 next month and I’ve always called bosses their first name. It’s what they introduce themselves as. In the military we used rank and sir/mam, but otherwise I’ve never seen it used, not even now working for state government. So it had to have stopped before my time of working and I started working at 13 lol.
BuckTheStallion@reddit
I’m a teacher, and every adult is Mr/Ms Lastname, but not bosses specifically. Outside of education though it’s never been common in my lifetime (37 years).
Rokmonkey_@reddit
You should refer to your students that way too. See how it goes. I had a teacher do that, kinda made me feel more important back then.
Sparkly8@reddit
Yeah, I think it only occurs when it’s kids vs. adults. The second I started college, most professors were chill with just first names because we’re all adults now.
SBingo@reddit
I’m a teacher so everyone is referred by their last name. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a Jane Austen novel talking about “Mr Johnson” and “Mrs Russel”.
Millkstake@reddit
Not my direct boss, but I work with elected officials sometimes and many times I'll call them by the last name i.e, Commissioner Smith, etc
According-Raspberry@reddit
I'm 43.... started working at 15. Never called a boss or coworker by a title. Just by name.
CH11DW@reddit
I work ar a small place. Think 600 of us. I met the CEO early on and he introduced himself to me as Bob. So that’s what I always called him. But I notice other people (like my boss and boss’s boss) referring to him as Mr. Last name when talking about him. I asked a high ranking person once, am I suppose to be calling him Mr., he introduced himself to me as Bob. The answer was “same here, I think you’re fine.” Think Bob doesn’t mind being called Bob by everybody, but there’s those who are talking about him feel like they have to refer to him as Mr.
sas223@reddit
I’m in my 50s and never in my life have I used honorifics when talking to colleagues.
SEND_MOODS@reddit
I use first names but also use sir.
bookshelfie@reddit
I’ve never had to call my boss Mr or Ms. unless they had an MD, or PhD, and they were called Dr.
Helpful_Writer_7961@reddit
I started working at a bank in 1974 and I started out calling the officers by Mr/Mrs and quickly asked not to. Only the bank president and chairman were addressed by Mr
Uhhyt231@reddit
I feel like it’s been a long time. Adults just use first names
21stNow@reddit
I had a job in Maryland fairly recently, and the owner required everyone to address him/her as Mr./Ms. Lastname, even people who were older than the owner. I do agree with the sentiment in your last sentence, though!
Uhhyt231@reddit
That person is a weirdo
scrappapermusings@reddit
What makes it weird? I wish people wouldn't try using my first name if we don't know each other. It feels intimate, and I'm not a fan.
Uhhyt231@reddit
Your first name is not intimate. That is weird tbh
scrappapermusings@reddit
I disagree. My given name is difficult for a lot of people to pronounce, and as a result people tend to shorten it or give me nicknames, which is so weird to me. I would absolutely prefer to just be Mrs.Lastname. Mrs. L for short.
21stNow@reddit
So you're OK with "Mrs. L", but not a shortening of your first name? I'm going to go with others and say that you're being a bit weird here.
I used to have a difficult to pronounce first name, so I understand your sentiment, but never would have liked "Mrs. L", either. I also don't like strangers using my first name, but co-workers are not strangers to me. I don't like being too close to co-workers (at least in theory), but using my first name doesn't make them too close to me.
All of that to say that I thought that I was asocial or standoffish, but you take the cake!
scrappapermusings@reddit
I feel like Mrs.L isn't ideal, but I'll accept it. My last name is definitely easier for most Americans to say. (Was a struggle overseas though and I really felt for people who were trying. I do think my Mexican grandma being unable to say my first name was just her messing with my mom, for what it's worth.)
I used to work at a place that forced us to use first names, even with clients and I was never fully comfortable with it. I have always preferred the formality of honorifics, and I struggle to this day even calling other adults by their first name. It's odd and familiar to me.
I am extremely standoffish though, it takes me a very long time to trust people. In fact, I'm about to leave for a parent event and the struggle is real. I happen to know these people all address each other by first name, and in my mind they're all "Mrs.N, Mrs.W, Mrs.M etc." It's been four years, and I'm only just attempting to go and get involved, and I wish to heaven I could take a gummy or four before heading over there.
wonderlustVA@reddit
I have social anxiety and totally agree on being uncomfortable around people I don't know well and taking a long time to trust people, but I'd quickly put a stop to someone calling me Mrs. LastName. I only reluctantly dealt with it with my children's friends when they were little. I feel it sounds old fashioned and thus makes me feel old. No thanks. All to say, being standoffish doesnt necessarily mean wanting to keep a distance with your name. At my work, people would probably just call you by your last name, no Mrs. before it because nobody uses honorifics.
scrappapermusings@reddit
I'd definitely take that!
Uhhyt231@reddit
People not taking the time to learn your name is rude
scrappapermusings@reddit
I absolutely agree. It's not that hard of a name in my opinion, but it's not like Amy or Jennifer. Lol
LiqdPT@reddit
These people were their employees. They weren't strangers. Presumably, they talked frequently.
scrappapermusings@reddit
Idk if I agree with over familiarity in the workplace either. Every job I've ever had, I've seen things get messy when people get ok comfortable, you know? I don't think it's weird to just want coworkers to be coworkers.
LiqdPT@reddit
Ok. But I've been working for 40 years, and I've never had a place that I referred to a boss by anything but their first name.
tlollz52@reddit
Depends how they go about addressing it.
Everyone has their quirks
Cerulean_IsFancyBlue@reddit
Yes and if your quirks exceed a threshold you’re labeled as weird.
“He’s rich.” “Well, everyone has some amount of money …”
tlollz52@reddit
I personally wouldn't say this goes into weirdo territory
Cerulean_IsFancyBlue@reddit
Fair. It’s a subjective label.
coltflory5@reddit
So you just alternated between calling the owner Mister or Miss? That’s progressive, I like it!
Tia_is_Short@reddit
That person is odd. I’ve lived and worked in Maryland almost my entire life, and I’ve never referred to a boss as anything other than their first name, even as a teenager.
Much-Jackfruit2599@reddit
How did he address them, though?
21stNow@reddit
By the employee's first name, of course (if the owner bothered to learn the employee's first name in the first place).
MyUsername2459@reddit
Only exception being if you're in the military.
Mrlin705@reddit
Or a Doc.
doc_skinner@reddit
Many university professors will insist on being called "Professor" or "Doctor". On that note, I imagine many physicians will as well.
Desperate-Score3949@reddit
If I had coworkers with the same first name we typically used last names for them.
ClockWeasel@reddit
Yep, too many Steves and Brians, but they get full names or last name only. No honorifics unless it’s required for a client’s local culture
mjg13X@reddit
For the first time ever I’m in a workplace where someone (the boss, as it happens) has the same name as me. He prefers the nickname version and I prefer the full name, so it’s easy enough.
CeeCee123456789@reddit
Or k-12 teachers, especially in the presence of students. When students weren't around we might drop the Ms/Mr and just call them by their last name.
Twin_Brother_Me@reddit
My boss goes by his last name, but that's because he has a very common first name and there are four guys in the department that also have it
Pear_tickle@reddit
I got my first job as a teenager in 1988 and have never used a title with a boss, no matter how high above me they ranked. First names only.
SteevesMike@reddit
I'm 29, I've never done this. I've never had a boss I respected enough to refer to them by any title or honorific, and the ones I did respect I respected enough to be on a first-name basis with them. They're not teachers and I'm not a child.
RexIsAMiiCostume@reddit
I've always used my bosses' first names, but I'm only 23.
Particular-Move-3860@reddit
1960s - 1970s.
By the early '80s, the use of Mr. or Ms. was only used when addressing the CEO, the chief administrator, the owner of the business, or the Member of Congress.
By the mid '90s, that practice was viewed as antiquated in all but the last example above. (US Representatives/Members of Congress are still addressed as "Mr." or "Ms.")
This form of address may still be used in a few settings, but it is no longer a common practice.
SomeDetroitGuy@reddit
I'm 47 and that really hasn't been a thing during my entire working career. The only exception being a very conservative Japanese company.
kaywel@reddit
I have never had this be an expectation in my place of work (I'm nearly 40), but I currently have a job where I work with people in many large corporations. I can think of at least one financial institution with a famously conservative culture where the employees still refer to the CEO as Mr.
meowmix778@reddit
Im mid 30s and only did that when I worked for this cult called vector marketing that sells expensive knifes pretending to be high end.
And theyd say the whole name "ms sarah jones" "mr ryan smith"
VeteranTeacher18@reddit
I'm a teacher. We call our bosses "Mr/Ms/Dr".
Spare-Anxiety-547@reddit
I'm 42. When I work with doctors, I call them Dr. Last name, unless they tell me to call me by their first name. I have never called any other boss by Mr. or Ms. Last name.
I think it's less common to call adults in general Mr. or Ms. Last name in the US. I will say that I have neighbors with children and they call my husband Mr. Tony, which I think is cute. Also, I called one of my ballet teachers Ms Dvorak even though I was an adult and was the same age as her.
TonyTwoDat@reddit
When their bosses became younger than them or close to the same age.
GOW_vSabertooth2@reddit
At my current job everyone uses last names, but the only person that gets called Mr. is the big boss. There’s a few other bigger bosses but nobody I’d recognize if they approached me at work
TinkeringTechnician@reddit
For me it's either Mr/Miss FirstName
I think with people my age and younger it seems overly formal and feels like playing pretend to them. But they also seem uncomfortable with cooperate culture so that could be it as well. I'm not completely sure.
I don't use Mr/Miss LastName because then more than one person turns around. If I did that at church it'd be between 8 to 5 depending on the name
jamzDOTnet@reddit
Never did.
i0ncl0ud9_2021@reddit
In the north, probably since the 1960s. In the south it is still common to this day.
Werner von Braun, the German rocket scientist who built the Apollo rocket that went to the moon, commented about the informality among American scientists. Germans of his time were much more respectful, always referring to him with Herr (Mr.). The American scientists used first names, which was a shock for him.
Americans have historically been more egalitarian in their treatment, especially outside the East Coast.
Substantial_Web3081@reddit
I work with all drs. They all ask me to calm them by their first name. I use their title in official communications only.
Ok-Worth-4721@reddit
As soon as they start being unfair and cruel.
ExternalHat6012@reddit
I do all the time, its a sign of honor and respect, I'm in Texas so maybe its different elsewhere but your elders, and those in authority it's expected, and it shows you respect their authority and role. I see some folks not doing it, but I'm 38 and will always do it because I was raised better than to talk to my boss like my friend, he is in authority over me.
Torchic336@reddit
I’m 29 and a manager, a couple of our super young employees will call me Mr. Last name right when they start, but I always tell them to just use my first name. My boss is just his first name to me, even the CEO of the company just goes by his first name when I speak with him. I’ve never called my boss by their honorific.
Mononon@reddit
The only job where I've used an honorific was when I worked at a school and had a boss that insisted everyone call him Dr. It was very annoying. He insisted that emails use honorifics too. I wasn't allowed to call people I'd known for years by their first names around him. I actually got a warning for calling a guy by his first name even though I talked to that guy outside of work almost every single day. And the stupid part was that people would refer to me by my first name, but I had to respond with honorifics like a dumbass. If we didn't know if someone was a Dr (because not everyone signs work emails with their terminal degree ffs), my boss would make us go into the HR database and look it up, so we used the right honorific. The stupidest shit I've ever had to do. We all sounded like such assholes.
YOUTUBEFREEKYOYO@reddit
I've called em sir or ma'am, but that's it
Appropriate_Park313@reddit
Had a client in east Texas ~10 years ago where the senior executives were almost always referred to as. Mr. lastname
redrosebeetle@reddit
In the early 00's, when I was working at Walgreens, anyone with a managerial title was Mr./ Ms., but that's literally the only job where I've seen that done .
Morifen1@reddit
Same, it was company policy to refer to all managers by those titles. So I told them I also preferred to be called by my last name.
sarahprib56@reddit
I have worked there a long time and don't know anything else. It stopped around 2005 but I didn't realize they were some kind of weird holdover. They were a very conservative company when still owned by the family. They stopped with all that around 2005 I would say.
DataQueen336@reddit
Someone there was on a weird power trip. lol
coltflory5@reddit
“I don’t know what kinda circus act happens over at CVS, but this here is a Walgreens son. As someone who makes two dollars an hour more than you, I must insist you call me Mr. Wallgreen.”
chaosdrools@reddit
So funny- my mom was a Walgreens pharmacist for 30 years and she is the only person I knew who had a boss that insisted he be called “Mr. Lastname”
bloobityblu@reddit
Same experience. Came to say, only at Walgreens and I thought it was ridiculous.
hobbit_lamp@reddit
yep, I was just gonna say obviously none of these people have ever worked at Walgreens
Cheap_Coffee@reddit
I started my professional career in 1986 and the practice (IME) was dead then. So, according to my anecdotal data, sometime before 1986.
steviehatillo@reddit
Interesting. I think of movies like National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation and that gave me the impression it was common around then.
RNH213PDX@reddit
That sticks out precisely because Chevy Chase's use of the Mr to refer to his boss is intended to show he's a servile schlub. Him is doing so is character defining because its abnormal and makes him look like a schmuck.
Ask_Keanu_Jeeves@reddit
For the same reason, I feel like it's common for certain sitcom characters, like George Costanza.
tutti_frutti_dutti@reddit
Man, I love that movie and had no idea that was supposed to be abnormal. Just assumed that was normal for the time and setting.
QuietObserver75@reddit
I think in movies that doesn't stand out as anything out of the ordinary back then.
Cheap_Coffee@reddit
I disagree. I think u/RNH213PDX is entirely right. It underline's Chase's beta male status.
Diabolik900@reddit
I think you’re both sort of right. It was done all the time in tv and movies, but I also think that it was pretty much always done for the same purpose you’re saying.
shaitanthegreat@reddit
Normal just like the jelly of the month club?
drillgorg@reddit
I've also always wondered why they made him so horny for that department store lady (both in the department store and in his pool fantasy). Like was that expected, or odd for its time?
Diabolik900@reddit
It was certainly expected for that character if you’d seen the previous two movies.
drillgorg@reddit
I haven't, can you tell me more? Christmas Vacation is the only one in the series with a cult following.
FunkyPete@reddit
Clark is a pathetic man child. His wife is really hot and his life seems to be pretty much in order except that he keeps screwing everything up.
The first vacation move he drove his family all the way across the country to a theme park (with various stupid things he did screwing up the trip along the way, or things bad enough that they should have just cancelled up front) and when they got there, it turns out he hadn't even checked to see if they were open that week (they were not).
Diabolik900@reddit
And specifically relevant to the question of the woman he fantasizes over, in the first movie he becomes enamored with a woman driving a sports car whom they repeatedly encounter on the road, and eventually ends up swimming naked with her in a hotel pool before getting caught by his family.
Ok_Researcher_9796@reddit
Maybe that's because it was the CEO and they don't really know them.
the_skies_falling@reddit
I’m in my 60’s and everybody has always addressed CEO’s by first name even if they only drop by once a year for a pep speech.
Ok_Researcher_9796@reddit
I've never worked anywhere but that would have been acceptable. Guess you worked for better companies. Other small businesses I should say. I've worked a few places where there was the owner and maybe half a dozen employees and we called the owner by name but bigger companies we would have never done that.
offensivename@reddit
That was the president of the company though, right? Not his direct supervisor. There's a difference. I met the elderly founder/owner of the large retail company I worked for once and everyone definitely called him Mr. [last name].
grrgrrtigergrr@reddit
Monsters inc also did it
tlollz52@reddit
With all things there's gonna be people who are very caught up in odd things.
Personally I would have no problem with it if they are generally nice and aren't a dick about correcting people.
excessively314@reddit (OP)
While that movie didn’t immediately come up in my mind when asking this, I’d like to think that it’s the reason I also thought it was so common. Seen it dozens of times so my brain just defaults to it when I’m imagining 70s/80s work culture 😂
beyondplutola@reddit
I’ve only been out of college since 97, so it was before my time. Looking at old TV, I’m going to guesstimate sometime it starting around the JFK administration when men stopped wearing formal hats with an almost compete phaseout in the 70s.
Feather757@reddit
My mom had a job for the state starting in the 70's and they all called each other by their first name.
AAHedstrom@reddit
before I entered the workforce, because I've never done that
RedeyeSPR@reddit
In the 90s I worked at a huge insurance/finance company and we call the big bosses Mr/Mrs, but our immediate boss and their boss by first names. In retail recently we call the CEO by his first name.
OK_Stop_Already@reddit
I haven't referred to someone like that since I was a child.
When I do it now, it's for customers, or strangers I want to be aloof but polite to.
Calling my boss by Mr. Or Mrs. Comes off to me like I am an extremely junior employee or like their servant.
spider_speller@reddit
I had one job in college where we were all expected to call the bosses Mr ___. I thought it was weird as fuck since I’d never encountered it before.
cookingismything@reddit
47 here. Been working since 14. I now work for a massive corporation. Everyone is first name. I was a cook a million years ago and we did the yes chef/heard chef when ask to do something.
Interesting-Long-534@reddit
I don't ever remember calling my bosses Mr/Ms. Im 60. I worked as a professional.
AltForObvious1177@reddit
I call my boss "boss" or "bossman". He hates it. It's hilarious
Bread4025@reddit
Hit my manager with bosslady the other day and the double take she hit me with could have taken out a small child.
Firewolf06@reddit
my friend used to call her boss "boss" in a terrible new york accent and would slip lines about "moving product" into conversations with him. she was a cashier
SuperNebula7000@reddit
I work for a few years in the deep south and everyone called me boss. It was not pleasant and made me feel awful. I tried to get them to stop but just gave up.
Droid202020202020@reddit
I'm pushing 50. Got my first job at about 13 or 14.
Never heard anyone (outside of armed forces of course) address their boss as anything but first name.
ReticentBee806@reddit
I haven't been requested/required to call a boss by honorifics since my first job in 1993.
I've had Gen Jones and Gen X bosses for the last 30 years, and we were all on first-name basis.
Roboticpoultry@reddit
We refer to the owners of the dealership that way, no one else
tbodillia@reddit
Outside of the Army, I've never used the last name while talking to a boss.
gunterrae@reddit
I’m 50. I’ve never called a boss Mr or Ms or Miss. always first name.
My grand boss goes by his three initials as a nickname and asks the really young interns to call him that bd side at 80 having 16-20 year olds call him by his first name is a little weird to him.
sarahprib56@reddit
Unlike most people in this thread, I worked for a drug store and we called the store manager and the assistant manager Mr/Ms up until maybe 2005, when they revamped most of that kind of stuff. They also stopped having requirements like no facial hair, no tattoos, and no unnatural hair color.
Incidentally, they also revamped the pay scale and assistant managers made considerably less during the same restructuring.
I'm 45.
itz_mr_billy@reddit
Idk for my first job up until high school (and during college) it would’ve been weird to refer to my boss as Mr. instead of Dad
After college/during I’ve not referred to anyone as Ms/Mr outside of referencing them in official emails
tamster0111@reddit
I'm almost 56 and I call my boss by her honorific. But, I am a teacher and all are called honorifics at school.
I am half and half when I see her outside... sometimes Dr. and sometimes first name.
SnooChipmunks2079@reddit
I’m 57, and after college I’ve only worked in technology roles. There were large companies and tiny companies in that time.
It’s been first name basis with everybody the whole time, from my immediate supervisor all the way up to the president or chairman of the board.
Of course, it was only at the small companies that I ever met any of those high up executives, but my current Fortune-listed employer, the president is routinely referred to by his first name and last initial by everyone and in corporate communications internally.
Competitive_Toe2544@reddit
aznsk8s87@reddit
I call all my patients Mr. and Ms. Lastname.
Younger doctors my age I'll address by first name, older consultants I'll refer to as Dr.
GamerGramps62@reddit
Stop? Ive never done that. I’m in my 60s and every boss I had was referred to by their first name.
Silver_calm1058@reddit
I don’t know for sure. But probably back in the 40s or 50s and it may have only been a certain industries that Mr. Mrs. was used.
nmacInCT@reddit
I'm in my 60s. Besides the department store I worked at which i worked in high school, i have always called my boss by their first name.
bradd_pit@reddit
All of the administrative staff in my law office call our senior attorney Mr.
Old-guy64@reddit
When I was 16, in the eighties, I call the owner of the Ice skating rink I worked at by “Mr.” When I was in the Navy, any officer from O1-O3 was addressed as “Mister” in conversation. Once they reached Lt Commander they were sir, or addressed by their rank/title. On our ship, the only Lt Commander was the executive officer. So he was “XO” or “XO sir”.
If you happen to be from certain parts of the US your elders, are referred to by their first name with mister or miss in front of it. As in Driving Miss Daisy.
And they will tell you soon enough to drop the honorific if it isn’t their style.
ctcaa90@reddit
I had a job in 1996 that the head boss was called Mr (last name).
PatrickRsGhost@reddit
I'm 46, been working since 16.
It's all on the boss's personal preference. Most bosses I've had were fine with being called by their first names.
Immediate bosses, that is. Whoever I was to directly report to, be it the department, office, or store.
But anybody above them? Like a regional/district/CEO? Mr./Ms. Last Name. Unless they specifically stated they prefer you to address them by their first name, I'd call them by their last name, especially if I'd heard my own boss or other coworkers refer to them as such.
earlporter77@reddit
I just call mine boss, but we are also friends outside of work.
thoughts_of_mine@reddit
Since I was taught from childhood in the 60's that all adults that were not family, should be called Mr. or Mrs. I called all my bosses with the honorific when I started working in the 70's unless or until they told me otherwise. I'm still pretty much the same way now at 67. Most people now introduce themselves with just their first name so that's what I call them. I am astonished still by the number of children who call their parents friends and acquaintances by their first name, but the world changes.
amaturecook24@reddit
Guess it depends on the job. When I worked in fast food I did refer to my supervisors by “Mr./Mrs. Last name”. Im journalism I referred to my boss by his first name. At my current job, I’m a non-sworn employee at a police department and my supervisors are all sworn. So I say “Capt. Last Name” or just “Last Name.”
Equivalent-Pin-4759@reddit
I’m 69, started working at 14 (not counting delivering papers and mowing lawns) and have never used honorifics with any of my bosses. I think that went out of fashion about the same time men stopped wearing dress hats (non ball caps) to work.
funnyfaceking@reddit
Nice.
NonspecificGravity@reddit
I was looking for someone my age. 😆
I started my first office job for a big company in 1975. I was still a teenager, but by company policy everyone called everyone else by their first name or a preferred name. I preferred being called by my last name, so that's what they called me.
If I ever encountered a higher-up I would have called them Mr. or Ms., but I rarely was in that position.
Later on, employers used my first name whether I wanted them to or not.
Itzagoodthing@reddit
48f here. Always on first-name basis with bosses.
elsongs@reddit
There was a time, definitely before the '70s-'80s, when senior management was literally senior...your bosses were considerably older than you, so it was customary to address them with an honorific.
Nowadays, your boss can be around your age, or even younger.
luminousoblique@reddit
I'm 63 and only ever called my bosses by their first names. I had my first job in 1978.
We called teachers Mr/Mrs/Ms, though.
In college, we called female professors by their first names (and yes, they had PhDs), but male profs were addressed as Dr. Lastname. Because of sexism.
polishprocessors@reddit
c4ctus@reddit
Shit, I don't even let my direct reports call me sir.
silviazbitch@reddit
I’m in my 70s. The last bosses I called Mr. or Ms. were professors I worked for as a research assistant or TA in law school.
Stonegen70@reddit
55, ive never used mr/mrs ever
sunset_sleaze@reddit
1972
Megsofthedregs@reddit
My general rule is that I address them however they introduce themselves. I've never used Mr/Ms, but I've used Dr.
therealDrPraetorius@reddit
When the boss says not to
Traveler108@reddit
1955 maybe?
ssjskwash@reddit
Lol yeah the only time I remember seeing this is with old black and white shows or like the Flintstones lol
PickleMundane6514@reddit
George Jetson calls his boss Mr Spacely in the early 60’s.
lwaxanawayoflife@reddit
My parents are in their 80s. They called their bosses by their first name as long as I can remember.
deleteundelete@reddit
My parents are also in their 80s and not only did they call their bosses by their first names, but so did my siblings and I.
Persis-@reddit
My grandmother was a teacher from 1930-1970, with a few years off to have children.
I can recall her referring to the superintendent as Mr, but not her principal.
brasticstack@reddit
Right? This sounds like a fever dream right out of It's a Wonderful Life.
FormicaDinette33@reddit
I have never seen that IRL. I would say it probably wanted during the mid 60's.
Dangerous_Ad_6101@reddit
Since bosses everywhere have routinely told their staff not to.
loftychicago@reddit
I'm in my 60s, have always worked in conservative professions (public accounting, banking), and have never referred to anyone at work by other than their first name.
I have seen it more in the south.
crispyrhetoric1@reddit
I work in a school. Everyone is Mr or Ms.
CircusFreakonLSD@reddit
I've never referred to my bosses by anything but their first names...
Bambala43@reddit
I’m somewhat senior in my position. Anytime a college student emails me to try to talk and they start with email with Mr. [Last Name] it makes me extremely uncomfortable. Please don’t do that!
Familiar_Fan_3603@reddit
I feel like the same time people stopped calling their own spouses Mr. or Mrs.
Araxanna@reddit
I have no idea. I’ve been working almost 30 years now and have never referred to my boss as Mr/Mrs/Miss. I’ve got a coworker who calls the boss ma. It’s fitting as our boss really is kinda like the mother around there.
Temporary-Prune-1982@reddit
I always say sir or mam unless it’s formal and I get to know them. I have never said Mr or Mrs.
CocoaAlmondsRock@reddit
My first corporate job was in 1993. No one at that company was called by their last name, not even the CEO. (American company with 1500 retail stores at the time.)
Crankenberry@reddit
Hahaha in 2000 my CEO made a visit to my call center where I worked as a corporate travel agent. I was on a call with one of our regulars when he and my office manager stopped by my desk. I asked my client to hold on as the CEO had just walked in. She said, "Well you put him on the phone right now!" I handed him my headset, I handed him my headset said, "Hi, Steve, I'm Stacy! It's for you!" He picked up my headset and listened to a glowing review about me and our agency.
Wow I hadn't thought of that in decades! 😂
spaltavian@reddit
I would imagine Corporate changed first, whereas small businesses and manufacturing with more traditional blue collar / white collar divided were a little slower.
mineahralph@reddit
I started working around that time too. No one did this then, but I saw old memos (from the 1980s), where it was standard to list the recipients as Mr or Mrs. But I doubt they said that in speech.
Crankenberry@reddit
In 1988 senior year I was a car hop at the A&W in my cow town. It was owned by an old lady and we had to call her Mrs so and so; it was unusual even then (she wasn't very nice). All my other fast food jobs were first name basis scenarios.
MamaMidgePidge@reddit
I work PT for an elderly woman (92), and although we are pretty close, I still call her Mrs. X .
No office jobs ever have though.
chesbay7@reddit
My bosses when I was in my 20's were Mr. So-and-So. After my divorce in my mid-30's, I was on a first name basis with all but the higher echelon at a bank I worked at and 3 dentists I worked for.
waitingforgandalf@reddit
I'm a teacher, so I frequently refer to my boss (principal) and coworkers as Mr. So-and-so. However, when there aren't kids around, I call adults by their first name, and can't imagine it being weird to call another adult by their first name.
jollyroger822@reddit
I couldn't tell you I'm 40 and the first job I had we only went by last names usually rank and last name.
Individual-Type4828@reddit
I don’t even know my managers last name
fadedtimes@reddit
I’ve never referred to my boss this way
LateForDinner61@reddit
I'm in my 60s and have always called my bosses by their first names.
deannevee@reddit
Probably in the 40’s or 50’s.
My dad is 65 and refers to everyone above him by their first name at work.
But he has a lot of adults that he knew as a kid, aka friends of his parents, parents coworkers, etc that he refers to with honorifics. Eg the neighbor next door to his mom is “Mr. Gilbert”, the guy his dad worked with in the grocery store is “Mr. Johnson” etc.
So that means to me that generation found it important whereas my dad’s generation does not.
carrot_gummy@reddit
33, I used the honorific once with my Boss on my first job after college and was told I don't need to do that. Before that, I was just calling my bosses by their first name. I couldn't even tell you what their last names were then or now.
Regular-Tell-108@reddit
I’ve addressed bosses by first names since the early 1990s.
Cinisajoy2@reddit
I think it depends on the job. When I worked at a local college, I wouldn't have dreamed of calling some people by their first names. Others I did.
Independent-Dark-955@reddit
I’m 58 and work in academia. It’s always first name other than for formal communication. I’ve never called a boss by anything other than first name.
HurtsCauseItMatters@reddit
I grew up in the gulf south where Mr./Ms. is standard even now. But when it comes to in a corporate office? I don't ever remember doing this.
FoggySunriseYT@reddit
Was about to say I’m from the deep south Louisiana, almost 30 years old, and I call people significantly older than me Miss or Mister XYZ haha it’s just a force of habit
mygoldenpup@reddit
What temperature does aluminum melt at
sgtm7@reddit
Never as an adult have I called anyone Mr/Ms. Of course in the Army, we called people by their rank or by sir or mam. When I retired, I continued working in the defense industry, so I continued the same respect for military people I worked or interfaced with. But civilians, were called by their first name, regardless of position. Unless of course they are in the civilian chain of command( like the President, SecDef, etc.), in which case they are called sir or mam.
hivemind_MVGC@reddit
I'm 52. Been working since i was 15. Literally never called my boss anything but their first name (except in the Corps, but that's different).
I'm in the north-east, though - maybe this is different down south or in the midwest?
DraperPenPals@reddit
Usually when we turn like 14 lol
BoromiriVoyna@reddit
I definitely refer to my bosses as Dr. Whoever. As the new doc in the group fresh out of residency, I'll call anyone with more than 4 or 5 years of experience than me by Dr. Lastname until I'm explicitly told not to, and probably will still call them by last name for a while. And of course I always refer to them by last name in front of patients or non-doctor staff.
Anyone in hospital admin - especially the CEO - I definitely call by their last name as well, though they're not doctors, so Mr. or Ms.
In the Deep South (from Georgia/Alabama to North Carolina, probably Virginia, etc.), any adult older than you is Mr. or Miss Firstname, unless they have a higher title that overrides it.
Maybe it's just because medicine and the South in general are both more traditional/hierarchical than other fields and regions, but I could never imagine calling my boss by his first name. Even my employees...if we were also friends outside of work, of course they could use my first name, but honestly I don't think they would. And I definitely don't want them using my first name at work.
largos7289@reddit
Thought that was just an old movie thing.
dobbydisneyfan@reddit
My Nana is in her 80s and never to my knowledge has referred to her bosses with honorifics.
Fun_Wishbone_3298@reddit
After getting out of the military, all my bosses introduced themselves by their first names. If I was introduced to someone as Mr/Mrs whatever, I’d call them that.
quietlywatching6@reddit
I only used titles when using it for outsiders, to express disdain, indicate a problem, or for a much older employee. I'm from the south, adding Ms or Mr in front of a name is very tone derived in its meaning. Using it can imply distrust, unfamiliarity, or not wanting a close relationship with a supervisor or employee. The farther away you are the more likely I would use a title. Everyone calls my mom "Ms." First name because she is the company's Safety, it's not really respect as much as fear of why she is here..
cHunterOTS@reddit
I feel like it’s always been true that only deeply narcissistic creeps would expect to be addressed with any type of honorific
IHaveBoxerDogs@reddit
I’m GenX, and never referred to any boss ever, even as a high schooler, as Mr./Ms.
paulnuman@reddit
i say yes sir no sir in construction the same way i said no chef yes chef
flipnonymous@reddit
Isn't Mr/Mrs a term of respect as well? I'm not saying a good lot don't deserve the respect, but I think the workforce in general has become calloused to the humanity and goodness of a great manager due to suffering through the overwhelming hordes of terrible ones.
That, and as younger leaders were developed - they felt the honorific was stiff and too formal for the engaged, interested, and team player mentality they wanted to shift towards.
ginger_princess2009@reddit
I don't even know my boss's last name🤣
Jumpy-Benefacto@reddit
im 52. been working since I was 13. have never had that used
Any-Concentrate-1922@reddit
I'm 50. I've always called my boss by their first name, even in high school.
Born-Reason-9143@reddit
Lmao I started working in 2013 and you should’ve seen the look on my fast food shift manager’s face when he kindly told me I didn’t have to call all my bosses Mr. Lastname or say “yes sir/maam” when instructed to make a damn burger. He was obviously trying not to laugh. I was raised fundamentalist and also was homeschooled with very outdated curriculum, so I was taught that anyone above me should be respected by using Mr./Mrs. Lastname, or Mr./Mrs. Firstname if I was familiar with them. Imagine the surprise of a bunch of 20-year-old managers being addressed as Mr. Cody and Miss Ashley by some homeschooled jungle freak at her first job.
drsoftware@reddit
1984, grocery store bagger, had to call the grocery store manager "Mr Lastname"
Derwin0@reddit
Were you a teen student at the time?
It’s different for kids than adults.
drsoftware@reddit
yep!
Argosnautics@reddit
Same, 66.
wolferiver@reddit
Almost the same age, 67. In my first ever part-time job in high school, '75 to '76, I worked at the local library, and called my boss Mrs. LastName. (No "Ms." in those days.) However, in the summer of '76, I also worked as a waitress at a greasy spoon diner and called that boss by his first name. Never since that library job have I called a boss by Mr. or Mrs. or Ms.
To my recollection, my Dad, who worked as an engineer in the 60s and 70s also called his boss by his first name. (My dad did wear a button-down shirt and tie, though. He stopped wearing ties in the 80s.)
Agile_Moment768@reddit
Teachers, parents, my own parents, everyone has a first and last name. I always use the first unless I'm being playful with a lady.
dogfaced_pony_soulja@reddit
Same here, early 40s. No idea what OP is on about.
Semi-Pros-and-Cons@reddit
I don't know, but I bet it was around the same time that it became socially-unacceptable to wear a suit to work, or even just a tie. I like wearing a tie, and I've got a whole fuckin' closet full of them, but any time I try to wear one, somebody feels a need to chastise me for it.
merinw@reddit
The last employer I called “Mr.” Was in 1989 when I worked for an Allstate sales office in NJ. He was an older gentleman Mean and he was very successful. He had five agents and five CSRs in his office. He had people waiting at the door in the morning and we had to lock the door on people at night. People loved him. No one called him by his first name and to tell you the truth, I don’t know what his first name was. After that, it was all first names. I went to law school in the ‘90’s and started my own law firm in 2003, but never expected anyone to call me anything but my first name. Of course, in court, everyone is called by an honorific.
MrsMitchBitch@reddit
I’m nearly 40 and had my first babysitting job at 13 and “real” job at 15. I’ve never referred to a boss as Mr/Ms/Mrs. Ever.
LiqdPT@reddit
I'm 50. As a kid (so late 70s, early 80s) I don't ever recall my parents referring to their bosses by anything but first name.
EclecticEvergreen@reddit
I refer to my boss as “Boss” lol
Unless it’s a super professional setting I don’t know why I’d call my boss by their last name like a stranger when I work with them closely everyday.
babababooga@reddit
Are you in the south?
Obtuse-Angel@reddit
I’m 46, have been working for 32 years, and have called every boss by their last name.
Jazzlike_Way_9514@reddit
I’m 61. I’ve never heard of this outside of television and movies.
casey5656@reddit
I’m in my sixties and have never called a boss, even a CEO by their last names.
jolly-green-1233@reddit
It depends on the job field. Mr./Mrs./Ms. is used a lot in education, even when the room is adults only. At least, this is my experience instead of a universal experience. It was less teacher to teacher and more when admin were in the group. I can't remember referring to any of the principals I worked for by their first name.
lyn02547@reddit
I worked for a prestigious private university between 1984 and 2020. Managers, directors, and our VP were all called by their first names. One of our faculty had been knighted, and he was the only person ever to demand being called by his honorific (aka Sir Douchebag).
tuigdoilgheas@reddit
We often call medical doctors "doctor" at work even if everybody else is called by their first name, unless the doctor invites you to do otherwise.
theChosenBinky@reddit
Back in the 80s I called my boss at Kinko's Copies "Jane". She would have preferred that i use her real name, though. /jk. Her name really was "Jane"
Disastrous_Fault_511@reddit
Enoch8910@reddit
June 12th. 1992.
mrinformal@reddit
Mr. Smith is my dad. Every Gen Xer since birth.
hellogoawaynow@reddit
I’m 36, been working since 12, never called any boss anything besides their first name. So before that lol
WowsrsBowsrsTrousrs@reddit
I'm over 70, and other than the summer job I had in high school, I have always called my bosses by their first names.
therealmmethenrdier@reddit
I am fifty and I never referred to a boss as Mr/Ms Lastname except in my classroom in front of students when the principal or any other staff member came in. But we were all on a first name basis when we weren’t in front of the students.
Triabolical_@reddit
I was raised to use Mr. or Mrs. but I started writing software in 1986 and never had a boss that used their last name. It would have been weird if I did it.
shrlzi@reddit
What I find odd is a 30 year old doctor insisting on being called Doctor Name and still calling 70 year old patients by First Name
kettyma8215@reddit
42 here, I’ve never called my boss Mr. or Mrs…I’ve never even called the owner of the company (I’ve worked for a lot of smaller businesses or franchises) by anything other than their first name.
Gullible-Apricot3379@reddit
When I was a teenager in the 90s, I volunteered at a local hospital. The teen volunteers were supposed to call the older volunteers (ie, those women in their 60s+) by Mrs. Lastname. I suspect that means those women, at least the older ones, expected it as a courtesy. I don’t think the ‘younger’ ones (ie, those around 60) cared one way or another, but the ones in their 70s and older were sticklers for it.
Backing into it, they were probably born in the 1910s and 20s, so probably started working/their husbands were working in the 30s and 40s. The ones born in the 30s didn’t care. By the time I was working and had bosses born in the 40s, they would say things like ‘When someone says Mr. Lastname, I look for my father. Call me Bob.’
In the early 2000s when I was just starting my career, there were 2-3 ladies in the office who were over 70. They would call managers they didn’t know Mr./Mrs. Lastname until invited to use first names, so they probably learned that as children. They would have been born maybe ca 1930 and contemporary with the 60-year-olds who didn’t care when I was a volunteer.
So I’d hazard a guess that it changed around WWII.
KristyKrispito@reddit
I work in south Louisiana and people very much still use Ms/Mr First Name in a professional setting. Also in church/ meeting someone.
jaimelamer1@reddit
I’m 71. I began employment in 1970. I have never called bosses by Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. or Miss when addressing them directly. Only exception would have been in a school/classroom setting in the presence of students.
PlumpPotate@reddit
I'm 32, and I called my first boss and his wife by honorifics and last name, but I also genuinely respect both of them. They were in their sixties, owned and ran a horse boarding stable, and are both very polite, and involved. When we'd do more intensive work like throwing hay they'd either grill for us, or order us food, and also voluntarily bump our pay. I worked there for almost 5 years (14-19 yo). They unfortunately didn't need 40+ hours of labor a week outside of the summer, which is the main reason I found a different job. I still think about them fondly fairly often.
Prestigious-Fan3122@reddit
My husband is from the deep south, and graduated from college in 1983. On his first job out of college, his boss kept correcting him when he said "yes sir/ no sir".
I always try to start up cautiously, and call someone Mr./Ms (or Mrs. if I know that's what she prefers)
Thinking of my husband's bosses for the last 25+ years, none of them call each other Mr. or Mrs. or Ms, not even going up to the president of their large, international company. It's all on a first name basis. The only exception I've seen in this is in the medical field. Our kids' pediatrician, "Dr. Smith" had his wife working in the office for him. he was also the pack leader of our local Boy Scout pack. At Boy Scouts, the parents all called him Dr. Smith, as did the kids, unless they called him by some sort of made up wolf or tiger name. I don't remember what it was it was. Our kids were also in preschool together. When I would run into his wife at the preschool, and we would chitchat about something, she would refer to her husband by his first name, but if you saw her in his office, it was always "Dr. Smith". If you had to call the office and ask a question she would say, "I'll ask Dr. Smith and I'll get back to you."
Oh! Also in the field of education. When my kids were in school, and in the school where my sister teaches, they all referred to each other as Mr. or Mrs., and especially the principal is always Mr. X or Mrs. X or Miss Zack or Dr. X.
I've noticed my sister is in the habit of casually referring to her fellow teachers by their last names. She'll say "I have to leave early to go to a doctors appointment Monday, so Johnson is covering bus duty for me."
Prestigious-Fan3122@reddit
My husband is from the deep south, and graduated from college in 1983. On his first job out of college, his boss kept correcting him when he said "yes sir/ no sir".
I always try to start up cautiously, and call someone Mr./Ms (or Mrs. if I know that's what she prefers)
Thinking of my husband's bosses for the last 25+ years, none of them call each other Mr. or Mrs. or Ms, not even going up to the president of their large, international company. It's all on a first name basis. The only exception I've seen in this is in the medical field. Our kids' pediatrician, "Dr. Smith" had his wife working in the office for him. he was also the pack leader of our local Boy Scout pack. At Boy Scouts, the parents all called him Dr. Smith, as did the kids, unless they called him by some sort of made up wolf or tiger name. I don't remember what it was it was. Our kids were also in preschool together. When I would run into his wife at the preschool, and we would chitchat about something, she would refer to her husband by his first name, but if you saw her in his office, it was always "Dr. Smith". If you had to call the office and ask a question she would say, "I'll ask Dr. Smith, and I'll get back to you."
Fire_Mission@reddit
Been working since the mid 80s. In all that time, I've never used anything other than the first name.
Daphoid@reddit
I don't I've ever said Mr/Mrs for that reason. I do have coworkers who I greet by "Mr" though as it just sort of became a trend. I also use (and receive) "Sir" and "maam" from time to time.
teriKatty@reddit
It’s weird my old boss(when I was in my late 20s-30s) was an old man and we all called him Mike. Now I have a new manager (I’m in my mid 40snow) and she’s maybe 10 yrs older than me at most and I call her Ms Tina 🤷🏻♀️. No one has gone by a lady name though.
devilscabinet@reddit
I have always been on a first name basis with my bosses. My first adult job was in the 1980s. To the best of my knowledge, my parents called their bosses by their first names when I was a child in the 1970s, too. I have been "the boss" at some jobs, and would never have wanted the other employees to call me by anything other than my first name.
CreatrixAnima@reddit
I think it’s switched up somewhere in the late 70s or early 80s. My dad‘s boss was Mr. so-and-so in the 70s, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard it since then.
Late-Application-47@reddit
Still pretty common in the South.
EnvironmentalShoe5@reddit
The only time I ever did was when I worked for a Russian company and that was how they wanted to be addressed.
Primary_Excuse_7183@reddit
Never have. been working for 15 years. Being a boss at a lot of places isn’t always as hierarchical in the way that someone who’s your boss is necessarily older than you. calling me Mr. Would seem weird if I’m the same age as my employees.
sadrice@reddit
Before I met them, or if not, typically when I first meet them. California is a bit informal, and the nursery trade is even more so, this may not be standard.
Broodingbutterfly@reddit
I only refer to people under me as Mr/Ms. People above me get a first name.
GuerillaRiot@reddit
I'm in my early 40s and I call everyone by either Sir/Ma'am or Mr/Mrs. Colleagues, bosses, super bosses, subordinates or total strangers. Whenever someone tells me not to, I'll address them by whatever they choose but other than that it's just a small way of maintaining social graces and showing respect.
Suitable-Hornet2797@reddit
My bosses don’t introduce themselves like that.
Budgiejen@reddit
At Walgreens, circa 2006, we called our managers by their title/last name. But that’s the only place I’ve done it.
GrandTheftBae@reddit
32 and I've never done that. I also work with a ton of PhDs and no one calls them "Dr"
kangadac@reddit
I remember being in orientation for a summer job at the (then) San Diego Wild Animal Park. Someone addressed the presenter as Ms \<lastname>; she stopped them and said, “Nobody at the Zoo or Wild Animal Park goes by their last name; the only exception is the director of CRES, who we call Dr H.” (CRES was the research facility, Center for the Reproduction of Endangered Species; Dr H was Werner Heuscheule.)
I enjoyed working there.
excessively314@reddit (OP)
I’ve had some professors in college get VERY aggressive about referring to them as “Dr. Lastname”
On the other hand, I’ve had some that insist we call them by their first name. Seems like a polarizing career.
MadScientist1023@reddit
I think it's different when you're a student.
GrandTheftBae@reddit
I work in biotech and I feel like every other person I talk to is a PhD. At most they'll put it in their email signature but that's it.
Syndromia@reddit
I still sir or ma'am them but I don't even know our business manager's last name.
MelanieDH1@reddit
My grandfather called his boss Mr. Rice when I was a kid in the 80s, but as long as I’ve been working (early 90s), I have always referred to my bosses by their first names.
rideofthevalkitty@reddit
What? Of all the jobs I’ve had I have never called my boss anything other than their first name.
legallychallenged123@reddit
I’m 42. My first boss was a 50 yr old man named Joe that owned a pizza place. I was 15 and I called him Joe.
ImColdandImTired@reddit
Mid-50s. Haven’t addressed my boss as Mr/Ms since I was a college student. Have referred to them as such when speaking to clients.
Peaches102179@reddit
I still say it. I guess it’s all in how you’re raised and where. I’m in the south.
Haunting_Turnover_82@reddit
As a school teacher, I/we called our principals by their first names.
Disastrous-Nail-640@reddit
Ummm…I’m in my 40’s. When Disney ever do this? I only did this with my very first boss when I was like 17. Otherwise, we’ve always used first names.
Holly_Hobbie@reddit
I work for the police department so I call my bosses Sergeant (last name) and Lieutenant (last name). I’d feel very awkward using just their first names, but some of my coworkers do.
0N1MU5HA@reddit
I work in a medical lab.
Doctors are always referred to by their title and last name ie: Dr. Chang.
All female employees without the title of doctor, are referred to with ms/mrs and their first name, and the men are referred to by their first name. there are no doubles on names in departments, so if you need to specify you can say...
"Hand these to Robert, the anatomic pathology coordinator."
"Deliver these specimens to miss Ivonne in data entry."
etc.
Quick-Angle9562@reddit
My first job in 1999, the owner of the business was known as “Mr. H.” He was like 80 years old. No boss since has been referred to with any prefix other than ‘my asshole boss, insert-first-name”.
shmackinhammies@reddit
Funnily, enough, I call people I’m in charge of that lmao
Wolf-Eisberg@reddit
I have a co-worker that calls all the males "Mr (first name), regardless if they are his supervisor/manager or not.
But yeah, my entire working life, i'm 48 years old, I never called any of my bosses Mr/Ms, and none have ever stated they wanted to be.
RuncibleBatleth@reddit
I think it was the 60s.
earthdogmonster@reddit
Other than me saying an exaggerated Mister Jones! during a casual discussion with any of my supervisors, never called them by their last name. So basically only informally.
EmmaRB@reddit
First office job around 1987, no one was Mr or Mrs. One elderly office manager referred to anyone higher up the chain that way, but it always sounded odd to me. She didnt seem to expect lower level staff to refer to her that way.
toilet_roll_rebel@reddit
I started working in 1977 and it was normal to call your boss by their first name back then.
reno_darling@reddit
I worked at a law firm around 2010 and we had one attorney who was a Mr. He was partly retired by that point and was the last of the named partners to work there. Really nice guy and I can't imagine him ever telling anyone to use an honorific, but we all did it naturally. Everyone else was first name though.
Many_Collection_8889@reddit
It was incredibly important 75 years ago to treat your boss with absolute reverence and subordination. In return, jobs would provide stability, recognition, vacations, accommodations for family, and regular promotions and raises for good work.
Around the late 70s, those companies stopped providing employees with any sort of respect, recognition, or loyalty, and everyone was miserable and drunk all the time. By the early 80s our whole economy was on the verge of collapse.
In the late 80s and early 90s a lot of small businesses that had much more of a "we're all in this together" culture took over, and while people never got the vacations and accommodations back, at least they were no longer treated like indentured servants.
Any big business that refused to adopt that more "flat" hierarchy where people were treated like individuals and not kings and paupers went out of business.
Fancy_Albatross_5749@reddit
I'd happily call my boss 'your highness' if it meant a job for life and loyalty and respect!
junkmail0178@reddit
I’ve taught at several schools and at some, the principals and teachers all called each other by their first name. Then I’ve taught at others where everything was formal.
Acrobatic_Box9087@reddit
Back in 1932
Fancy_Albatross_5749@reddit
I don't even know my boss's last name
Minute-Frame-8060@reddit
My first boss was in 1985 and I think he was Dave. But I think my grandfather was a Mr. to his subordinates.
donku83@reddit
Depends on the field I'm guessing. I'm medical and we only call doctors "Dr. Lastname" and even then half of them beg us to just call them by their first name at my job
Other than that, it'd be whatever they want to be called. Older generations typically think it's a sign of respect so they'll default to Mr., Miss, Mrs., etc
markmakesfun@reddit
It’s just a name. I would call someone by whatever appellation they prefer, because my ego isn’t wound up in something so simple and minor. Use whatever they prefer and move on. Stop wasting mental energy struggling with something that’s not meaningful. Don’t let your ego become so fragile that everything you do is a test of your self-valuation. Just move on to more important topics.
SockSock81219@reddit
For most industries, probably around the same time men stopped regularly wearing hats everywhere.
But I have worked, here in the 21st century, for a few stuffed-shirts (lawyers) who "let it be known" through the chain of command that they preferred to be called "Mr. So-and-so" as is befitting their station. Eyeroll.
The only people I'll do that for are clients/customers, and basically only if they're a medical doctor. Otherwise, pffft.
duchess_of_nothing@reddit
In my 50s, work in banking and have never called anyone Mr/Ms except during my early career when introducing myself to a a senior VP. They always corrected to their first name.
OverSearch@reddit
I'm nearly sixty and I've never worked anyplace where anybody did this, except for teachers being addressed in front of students.
SkibidiBlender@reddit
Not since the military, but Instill use Ma’am and Sir. Can’t seem to break the habit. They sound much less official nowadays though.
moonwillow60606@reddit
So back int the 80s when I had my first job (a retail store called Lerners), we were required to address each other as Mr LastName or Ms LastName. It wasn’t just bosses; it was how all of us had to address each other. The company had an old fashioned vibe at the time.
I year or so in, the Limited bought Lerners and overnight we went to first names. That was an adjustment. But this is the only time in my working life I’ve ever had to use last names. As a common thing, that went out of fashion a really long time ago.
Loisgrand6@reddit
Lerner’s. What a throwback. I miss those stores
moonwillow60606@reddit
I think they re-branded at some point as New York & company. No idea if that store is still around. It was a great first job.
Loisgrand6@reddit
The NY and Company stores were different than what I grew up with concerning Lerner’s
Ok_Depth_6476@reddit
Oh wow I remember Lerners. When I first started working an office job, I bought a lot of my clothes there. That would've been more in the 90s though.
OddConstruction7191@reddit
So cashiers had to call each other Mr/Ms?
moonwillow60606@reddit
Yes we did. It was weird and old fashioned even then, but it was company policy. It was hilarious to hear a bunch of 16 year olds call each other Ms Evans or Ms Cooper
Ultimate_Driving@reddit
My brother in law worked at a Kmart in North Dakota in the late 80's/early 90's. They'd get written up for not addressing the manager as "Mr. (lastname.)" That's the most recent example I've heard of. I'm 45, and have never addressed anyone by "Mr., Ms., etc." except for teachers or elderly customers.
JoanofArc5@reddit
My guess is when women became actual coworkers, not just secretaries.
smokervoice@reddit
I think that stopped in the mid 60s sometime. This is just my guess because i'm not old enough to remember but that was a period of rapid cultural change when a lot of formality disappeared.
Drunk_Lemon@reddit
Im only 25 but as a teacher, its Mr./Mrs. With kids around and first name when they are not. Also the honorifics are typically used during formal meetings like IEP meetings not meetings with just staff though.
RealSignificance8877@reddit
If Mr or mrs didnt come out of my mouth when talk to people my parents made sure my teeth did.
Ok_Kiwi8365@reddit
I'm a lawyer, I will refer to my colleagues and boss by honorifics in formal settings like court, but really only when speaking in the third person. I've also had family complain that I speak too formally so that may just be a me thing.
GinX-@reddit
60 here and I've never called my bosses Mr./Ms. except when I'm being playful.
MooseRyder@reddit
Growing up in the south, it was Mr/ms. First name to boss boss, then to direct managers got first name. Thats a mix of age and formalism, but if you’re working on the front lines it’s different.
GochaPonczocha@reddit
I'm 42, came to USA 4 years ago, and only here I call my boss by her first name. In Poland we did this only in 2 companies that I worked for, in the rest that wasn't an option. And it wasn't even Mr. or Mrs. Last name, but Mr. or Mrs. director or manager. 😑
whateverhername_is@reddit
I call literally everyone I work with other than my partner by Mr., Mrs., or Dr., I havent done that at every job, but it seems to be what the people in my building are most comfortable with
Trey-the-programmer@reddit
When I worked in a grocery store as a teenager in 1984, I called my boss Mr. Daigle. Since then, I've been on a first name basis with my bosses.
Freddreddtedd@reddit
1962
send2steph@reddit
In 1994, at my first job, the owner/partners were Mr. So-and-so. No one else was. These partners were in their upper 60s. The only others I've worked with since were physicians who are always called Dr. So-and-so.
BernieTheDachshund@reddit
Movies and tv don't always reflect the real culture.
excessively314@reddit (OP)
I did leave out that my own grandfather referred to his superiors by their last names until he moved up at his job; he retired sometime in the early 1980s
bsmithi@reddit
your GRANDfather? retired in the EARLY 80's? yeah, that pretty much seals it in conjunction with all the 40-60 year olds here who are saying it's not a thing. You're just a bit behind the times :p
Drew707@reddit
Well, there's a difference between calling someone Johnson vs Mr. Johnson.
gutclutterminor@reddit
Especially when you have a Magic Johnson.
Able_Enthusiasm2729@reddit
That’s why I hated my Intro to Communications Gen Ed class in college because most of the examples they used in our online assignment/test modules (written several years ago and based off of an old textbook we no longer use) all came from TV Show and Movies Scenes even though many of the social norms depicted in these scenes were either inappropriate, unrealistic, or came from modern tv shows but depicted outdated forms of social interaction that would be considered inappropriate or creepy (especially if practiced among people who don’t have a very close relationship) but the correct answers for the test make it out to be a normative practice that students should use.
EnergyStrange7333@reddit
I started working in am office in the early 80s and never called any bosses Mr or Mrs.
bsmithi@reddit
It wasn't in fashion in your life time. It wasn't even in fashion in my lifetime as a 40 year old. You're seeing it in OLDER movies and TV, both of which are not representative of reality.
Miserable_Smoke@reddit
Probably two things. Companies got big enough that we stopped working for the owner of the company, and your boss might be someone 20 years younger, making it weird for everyone. Also, unless peers, everyone used to call others Mr or Ms. Even now, if I had to shout after someone, maybe a customer who forgot something, I'd feel weird using their first name, and vice versa.
Weak-Establishment72@reddit
I call my boss “Mrs. [name]”, but that’s just because I work at a school and if I don’t I’ll end up calling her her first name in front of the kids. My husband, however, just refers to his coworkers & bosses as [first name] only. It’s not been a thing for a while as far as I’m aware.
taranathesmurf@reddit
I am over 65 and in the middle 80's I was in college working at a campus library and our new boss called me into her office to ask why I was the only employee to call her Mrs. X , I said because your my boss. She got all huffy and said I want you be called by my first name. This was a real existional crisis for me. This wasn't how I was raised and it required several weeks and a total realignment of my cultural thought processes.
Rojodi@reddit
I called my dad's bosses at the bank Mr,/Mrs./Miss/Ms. because that's how it was pre-me becoming a college student!
dddybtv@reddit
The late 90's when CEOs tried to start presenting themselves as "cool"
Romaine2k@reddit
I'm 57 and I've been working since I was 14 years old, I have always referred to my bosses by their first names.
Complex_Yam_5390@reddit
I've worked for 40 years and have never called a boss by anything but their first name.
SpatchcockZucchini@reddit
I'm mid 40s and never called any boss by an honorific. Neither did my parents; all references to post-college bosses, even in the 60s, were by their 1st names. Maybe it's just the industries they were in?
tlonreddit@reddit
My employees refer to me as Mr. Mason in a southern accent because I have one.
So I guess?
Mr_MacGrubber@reddit
46 and I’ve never once had a boss I called Mr/Mrs other than when I was in HS and tutored a kid at their house.
sluttypidge@reddit
Same age as you, never expect for the two years I worked for my friends fatter. I called him Mr before he was ever my boss however.
captainstormy@reddit
I"m in my 40s and I dunno. Heck even the CEO of our company just goes by his first name.
mountednoble99@reddit
I did as soon as I became an adult.
dgillz@reddit
I'm 63 and I have never referred to them as Mr/Mrs.
Cold-Call-8374@reddit
I'm 40. I've never used honorifics and surnames in a workplace. My parents are in their 70s. I've never heard either of them refer to anyone in their workplace that way either... barring an occasional instance of using a title like Dr. or a military rank but even that was very rare . I think mr/ms in the workplace went out in the 50s or 60s? If I had to guess.
Buford12@reddit
I am in my 70's and when I first started working I refereed to owners as Mr. To be honest when you are being all polite and calling them Mr. So and So it is a lot harder for them to get mad and yell at you. And if they do then you can look at them and go whoa pal I treat you with respect and I expect the same.
ArcadiaNoakes@reddit
I'm in my 40's
Once I graduated college in the 90s, it was VERY rare that anyine asked me to address them formally. Only if like the CEO was visiting, and even then, thatwas usually the store mamager saying that, only to find that the big wigs from corporate also just went by their first names.
I only speak that formally when I first chat with a client (even though I work for myself now) and it's hit or miss if they insist on their first name.
LadyGreyIcedTea@reddit
Movies and TV are not real life.
Diligent-Variation51@reddit
I’m 55. Been working in professional settings since 1987 and always used first names
nicholaiia@reddit
I'm 44. I only called one boss something other than a first name. He was a neuropsychologist. He earned "Dr." on his name.
GloboRojo@reddit
Only time I us mr./ms. Last name is if I’m on the record or talking to my judge about a boss or coworker. Otherwise it’s always first names or with some people they are just their last name (in the case of multiple popular names). Even when I worked before law school I never had to call my boss by their last name in any of my jobs.
Alarmed-Range-3314@reddit
I’ve worked in dental offices for over 20 years, and I’ve always called my boss Dr. I even worked for a woman dentist who wasn’t much older than me, and she said I could use her name in public outside of the office, and it never felt right. My mom was a nurse, and I think that’s where I got that from. It may be an old fashioned way to be.
cnew111@reddit
The big boss where I work is still referred to as Mr. “Smith”. The company is old fashioned.
Tisalaina@reddit
First job at 14 in 1974 and still working. Have a PhD and been in biotechnology and pharma R&D my whole career. I have never addressed bosses or other superiors as Ms/Mr Last name or Dr Lastname, even major company CEOs. The only times I have been called Dr Tisalaina is either in cover letters from job applicants or in jest from colleagues.
Would be interesting to know what profession you're in and where you're located. (US here)
Burnt_and_Blistered@reddit
I’m 63. All of my bosses everywhere have been first-name bosses. One exception was a government hospital, in which everyone was last-name, but without honorific.
FrostyIcePrincess@reddit
I’ve always just called them by their first name
I was born towards the end of the 90’s though
Farewellandadieu@reddit
I’m 48, and have been with the same company for 21 years.
In 2004 when I started, I worked for a very old school type of boss. Everyone referred to him as Mr. X (except other C-level executives, to then he was Jim). He was very, very respected, grew up in the 50s, traditional family values, etc.
He retired in 2008 and every other executive I’ve worked with since then I’ve called them by their first names.
NickyUpstairsandDown@reddit
When I wasn’t working but needed surgery, I had to apply for medical assistance which ended up being denied for a very stupid reason like I was missing a form that definitely was in there. The denial letter I received was simply signed Mrs. Lastname (not even a first name), which I found striking in the year 2013, and honestly kind of insulting/patronizing. That was my only experience with welfare. So much red tape to go through and even when I did everything right they didn’t think so, and couldn’t even give me a full name. Very belittling.
beeredditor@reddit
We still use last names. I barely know many of my co-workers first names!
AuntRobin@reddit
I've had people that I've worked with where I needed to call the Mr./Ms./Mrs. in front of other people but not privately. I also had one boss, only one, that insisted on Mr. Lastname. He was a jerk and he ran a collection agency.
I'm 50, and my parents had me rather late. My mother is now 83 and I don't recall her talking about anybody who is above her in the chain of command as Mr. or Mrs. anything – the last 20 years of her career she taught in a Catholic school, so the religious honorifics were used for the priest and the nuns. My dad did 20 years in the Navy and of course would've used rank to address his superiors. I don't recall ever hearing him talk about anybody at work when he moved onto a civilian career with anything other than a first name. Every once in a while there might have been a last name but that was only to differentiate the three Bobs or the four Johns.
likethewatch@reddit
I still called my bosses by their last names when I was a teenager in the late 80s. I worked in a library and a supermarket, and I babysat. It started changing in college. By the time I graduated and was looking for a professional job (I took a position in an accounting firm), we were on first name basis. My new boss was in her 30s (born in the 60s, about 10 yrs older than me) where my previous bosses had been at least in their 40s.
Financial_Emphasis25@reddit
We say Mr or Ms regarding patients and our department calls our medical faculty Dr. so&so. But the management is always called by first name only. I recall my mom calling her boss by his first name back in the early 70s. I think it probably went out of popularity after the upheaval of the 1960s.
AttilaTheFun818@reddit
I have never called my bosses, even the CEO, by an honorific. I call everybody, above or below me in title “boss” usually.
I work in Hollywood. I’ll use Mr or Ms when referring to third parties like talent or crew.
Pjolondon87@reddit
My mother worked at a bank from the 1960s until 1989 and always referred to her managers by their first names. The bank president and board members, however, were all Mr. Whatever. I worked in a bank and a mortgage company starting in 1979 and everyone was called by their first names, including the bank president and the owner of the mortgage company.
NoSingularities0@reddit
I called my manager(s) Mr. / Mrs. when I was a working part-time during high school. No later than that. After that it was always first name.
ssbn632@reddit
Worked for a company for 38 years. The only ones I called Mr. Were the 15-20 years older than me owners.
All of my managers or VPs I just called by their first names.
I do say Sir and Ma’am a lot but that’s my southern upbringing. Even younger adults get that treatment if I’m not on a first name basis with them.
Yosoybonitarita@reddit
Well being that all of my bosses are at least twenty to thirty years older than me I always call them Mr. Or Mrs. Last name
Shim182@reddit
Work is transactional. They want a portion of my life, I want money. Honorifics aren't involved here. They are getting more of my life than they deserve as is.
Trillian75@reddit
My guess based on old TV shows is that it was already falling out of favor by 1970. In the Mary Tyler Moore Show, one of the characteristics of Mary’s character is that she calls her boss “Mr. Grant.” Everyone else calls him “Lou”, and he even tells her to call him “Lou,” but she can’t bring herself to be that casual. However, it’s definitely portrayed as old-fashioned/unusual, even at that time.
Prize_Consequence568@reddit
"When did people stop referring to their bosses at work as “Mr./Ms.”?"
Next Thursday.
Cratertooth_27@reddit
I did when I was 14 and was quickly corrected
Wadsworth_McStumpy@reddit
I'm 61, and I don't think I've ever called a boss Mr. Lastname. Sometimes it was just Lastname, in a place where everybody was known by their last name, but most often it was by their first name.
I think it probably happened sometime between the 60s and the 70s, though, because I do remember some TV shows where the dad would refer to his boss as "Mr. Spacely", but also some where he'd be "Larry." (The Jetsons and Bewitched, respectively.)
elphaba00@reddit
I work in an academic office at a university. Most of my coworkers have either a PhD or an EdD. I call them all by their first names. I had one coworker who insisted on using Dr. with her name. She got that doctorate while I was working with her. She explained that she paid for it and that she was going to use it.
lolabythebay@reddit
I worked for a major retailer for the last decade and in our Blue Chain we called our managers by their first names. In the overlapping district of the Red Chain they called them Mr./Mrs. Lastname in 2013, which is insane to me for adult humans.
Weightmonster@reddit
When they tell you to do so.
NPHighview@reddit
My parents taught me to use honorifics for adults. My 60+ year old piano teacher was Miss XYZ. My high school geometry teacher was Father Yyyy. I addressed the (well-known) town drunk, unironically, as Mr. Bxxx - he was somewhat surprised and asked why I did that.
Now I’m older than most of the service and sales workers I meet. Many call me by my first name (which I don’t mind), but I bristled a bit at a couple of high school kids, working at a UPS store, did that.
SlyHutchinson@reddit
I am in my early 50s and have been working since I was 15. (Technically 12 but I don't recall having a boss when I delivered papers.) I have always called my management by their first name.
Foghorn2005@reddit
I think it depends on the job. I'm a medical fellow, and will call all the attendings Dr. So and So until I'm invited to do otherwise though for many fellowship is when you start calling them by their first name.
I had two non medical jobs, and called my bosses by their first names in both.
ElonMuskHuffingFarts@reddit
When they stopped introducing themselves that way
Terrible-Froyo6237@reddit
I never called a boss mr/mrs at work its first name
GetInTheHole@reddit
I had a manager in the tech industry with a PhD in an unrelated field. I only referred to her as "Dr." when I wanted to piss her off.
Did the same to a couple of peers with doctorates as well.
patchouligirl77@reddit
I'm 48 years old and have never in my life referred to a boss, superior, or anyone else that I've worked with, by anything other than their first name.
Horror-Cabinet-8979@reddit
When work culture keeps pushing "we are like a family" down our throats. I've been in retail and trucking. Both do this.
Low-Guard-1820@reddit
I worked at a small company with some older people (in their 70s or even 80s at the time, 15ish years ago) who founded the company, and we all called them Mr. Lastname. There were 5 of them in really high up positions. Everyone else was a first name basis. It was kind of a traditional Southern place in a lot of ways so definitely not typical and as they retired, the new people who replaced them didn’t want to be Mr./Ms. Lastname.
frankbowles1962@reddit
I started work in 1985 and retired in 2017 and never referred to my bosses by anything other than their first name. Very occasionally back in the 80s the chairman and chief exec might have been referred to more informally but that died out pretty quickly.
Ok_Remote_1036@reddit
My dad is in his 70s and had white collar jobs his whole life. I met many of his bosses over the years, especially in the 1980s and early 1990s. He never called them Mr. LastName, only by their first name. He also never had a female boss but that’s a different topic.
Since I was a child I was expected to call them Mr. LastName.
Not_A_Novelist@reddit
I look at how they sign their emails. Formal signature = expected formal address. Stuck a personal note in my mailbox at work and sign it with their first name once = I will call you by your first name, especially if you call me by mine. I work in a school though, so most of us use the honorific and a last name because there’s generally a child listening, and we want the student to be referring to us by our last names.
kryotheory@reddit
I never have, until I started working in public education. Everyone refers to each other by their honorifics and last names, mostly so the students don't try and use our first names, and also because some people who earn their Ed.D. really want to be called "Doctor".
Plow_King@reddit
my first 'real job' was in 1985. i was about 18 and my boss was probably 22. when i started, i called him Mr. Smith. he said "don't call that, my name is Jim"
SensitiveBugGirl@reddit
My mom (70) thinks it's bizarre that I call my boss(the principal of the school I work at) by his first name. 1) I went to highschool AND college with him. And 2) it's how he wants to be called.
DanceClubCrickets@reddit
My dad works for a large international company, and I've only ever heard him refer to the CEO as "Mr. [Name]." Everyone else is first name only, or sometimes if he mentions other C-level executives (to me, his child and also someone who doesn't work for that company), he'll refer to them just by title (i.e. "the CFO," "our CTO" etc)
GrimmDeLaGrimm@reddit
When they stopped deserving it. Probably around the time they started abusing pensions and fighting against unions, when they began lobbying against workers rights, or just when people generally woke up and realized that the owner class has no intentions of being decent or good people.
nakedonmygoat@reddit
I'm not sure but I started working in 1985 and it was already out of fashion to call a boss Mr or Ms Lastname where I lived.
SavannahInChicago@reddit
I am almost 40 and have never done it.
SpecificJunket8083@reddit
I’m 56 and have been working since I was 16. I’ve been in high level management jobs since I got out of college in my early 20s. I’ve never called anyone Mr or Mrs. It’s never been a thing in my area.
AwarenessGreat282@reddit
Depends on much higher up they were than I, but I always used it. If they were my direct supervisor and often their supervisor, no. But when I dealt with VPs, CFOs and the prez it was Mr. and /or sir out of respect for their position.
edman007-work@reddit
That's what I would think, I can't possibly think of a scenario where you'd refer to your direct supervisor as Mr/Mrs, seems odd, maybe in the past if they were much higher though in rank.
That said, I work in the DoD...rank and last name is used for the military. But that's a military thing that reaches the office, not an office thing.
AwarenessGreat282@reddit
Agreed. I retired from the military and in my first job afterward, my direct boss, the owner, was a retired military officer. We were both on a first name basis. When the company sold to a much larger company that my facility was just one of many, it changed for the upper management.
AramaticFire@reddit
I only had one job (out of 5 so far) where they made us do that.
Hated that place lol
UltimatePragmatist@reddit
There is no one alive, with all their mental health, that can tell you.
shotsallover@reddit
When we all stopped wearing suits to work.
Which was a really really long time.
It also went out of fashion when a lot of the Vietnam era veterans went to work and did feel comfortable with honorifics or ranks because of how they were treated in the war.
PM_ME_UR_REDPANDAS@reddit
Started working in 1984, everyone was on a first name basis unless you were addressing a client. Even when I started a job in a corporate setting a few years later, everyone addressed each other by first name.
That said, I remember my dad in the mid 1970s referring to his secretary (an older lady) as Mrs. _____.
Dull-Geologist-8204@reddit
I do at some jobs just not at others. It reall depends on the boss.
One time I worked for my ex after he was an ex. It would be really weird calling him sir. An old manager of mine has been a good friend since I worked with him 15 years ago. We hit it off as friends pretty much right away and he isn't really the sir type.
That said I said sir when I worked at Subaru for awhile. Personality type.played a role in that. He was definitely the stiff sir type.
goldenrod1956@reddit
Back around 1980 everyone was by first name except our CEO who most peons referred to as Mr.
FongYuLan@reddit
Certainly before the 80s in my neck of the woods. In the 70s, my mom’s boss was first name even to us kids. My dad’s boss, though, was always a Mr until the day he died. But gosh, my dad’s boss may have been born before 1920, that’s probably why.
warrenjt@reddit
I had one manager at a grocery store that demanded it. Other than that, never.
MamaPajamaMama@reddit
Seems like a better sub would be r/AskOldPeople
tomveiltomveil@reddit
When I was 16 I worked at the town library. I called them all Mrs because they occupied the same mental space as my schoolteachers. When I was 17 I worked for the town's construction and maintenance team. I called them all by their nicknames because if I didn't, they would have given me a rude nickname.
GlobalTapeHead@reddit
Before my time. But if you are an observer of history you can say that it is a bit industry specific. Some types of businesses were just more formal than others. It started to fall out of fashion sometime in the early 1960’s. While more anal bosses with huge egos and large power differences kept it going for a while longer.
There are examples where boss and employee were on a first name basis prior to the 1960s, but this was usually a case where they were also good friends outside of work.
Ok_Membership_8189@reddit
When bosses started inviting them to do so. Which was largely when boomers became bosses.
Boomers were cool back in the day (think the 60s/70s and Woodstock). I think they basically coined the phrase “Mr. Smith is my father… I’m just Joe.” 😃 Followed by a toothy, over-familiar grin that made people uncomfortable because it happened so often. And it didn’t mean they wouldn’t yell at you or fire you either.
Key_Assistance_2125@reddit
Chef- first name is slightly more common than chef last name .
ChickyBaby@reddit
I am 62, never called any boss by an honorific, that stopped after college.
RockStar5132@reddit
I once knew of a movie theater when I was in high school that required the employees to refer to the management in the theater as “Mr./Ms./Mrs. Last name”. Was the weirdest thing I ever heard of
Chickadee12345@reddit
My boss right now is about 5 years younger than me. My last boss (20+ years ago) was about 5 years older than me. I called them by their first names. The last time I used Mr./Mrs. was probably in high school. Though it's funny, I am still in contact with my childhood friends' mom. As a kid, we called friends parents Mr/Mrs. I still cannot get out of the habit of calling her Mrs. XXX. Though she insists I can call her by her first name. I'm 62 btw, she is something like 85+.
yahgmail@reddit
I've only ever called my supervisors by their first name or last name if they use that in place of their first.
abstractraj@reddit
I’m 54 and I don’t recall this ever being the case
NoDiscipline4640@reddit
Mine is still, Mr. Z-----.
ConsistentAd7734@reddit
I am 46 and I had one boss that everyone called Mr Harris. I was 21 at the time and he was over 80 so it was just a him thing.
_haha_oh_wow_@reddit
You might want to actually try /r/AskHistorians for this but IMO, this is mostly just the norm in very formal jobs. Maybe it was always that way or maybe it was more widespread, but in my lifetime it has only been the norm for places that had a very formal culture.
Critical-Tomato-7668@reddit
I've never called my bosses by their last names or honorific titles, and I've worked for a few PhDs
Anieya@reddit
I called my very first boss out of college “Mr. (Lastname)” on my first day of work.
Dude looked me in the eye and told me to never do it again, lol
All bosses have been first name since
According-Couple2744@reddit
When I was in high school, several of my classmates and I worked at a grocery store after school. We (the HS students) always referred to our managers by Mr. As an adult, never.
Prestigious-Name-323@reddit
I’m 41 and I’ve always called my boss by their first name.
HegemonNYC@reddit
The only place I’ve heard this is in places where they have a real title or degree. Like in Higher Ed the line-level employees often call their bosses ‘Dr. Smith’, or in govt ‘Councilman Jones’.
But just a normal boss without a title? Never seen it.
Unlikely_Couple1590@reddit
I'm 28 and only stopped when I graduated from college. Prior to that all of my bosses expected Mr., Ms., or Dr. I always worked in childcare or education and they love their titles. If you're younger than them, even by a few years, they'll shove that title and their degree in your face. I got my first customer service job right out of college until I started teaching and had multiple superiors but none wanted us to use honorifics. I had one coworker in her 60s who did, but that had to do with age, not title. As soon as I started teaching, my first principal wanted us to call her Ms. Second principal was a former teacher and our peer so she just went by her first name. Now that I'm out of education, I haven't called a boss by Ms or Mr ever again.
ontheleftcoast@reddit
I'm 63 and I can't remember a time I didn't use my bosses first name.
JathbyDredas@reddit
About the time they said “my door is always open” and “we’re more like a family.”
flamegrove@reddit
My dad insisted on his younger subordinates calling him “Mr. Lastname” until he retired 3 years ago, but I’ve always called everyone by first name my whole working career.
baddspellar@reddit
The only bosses I called by other than their first name were my bosses in the military. I am more than twice your age and it started long before I started working
SabresBills69@reddit
where titles still matter….
court
medical
military
some of these are just in professional settings. in a court you have lawyers and judges. the judge previously was a layer so outside the court the judge and lawyers talk on first name basis
i worked in setting with MDs but it wasn’t the Dr- patient relationship and I called them by first name in informal settings. if I was in a large meeting thrn I’d address them professionally but I expect the same in return.
phunkjnky@reddit
I'm 50. I've never referred to my boss as Mr/Mrs/Ms, and no one else I've worked with has either.
I've never worked for a boss who wanted to be called that. If they want to be called something, they will tell you.
IMO, it was about seeming more approachable. If someone wants to be called that, it automatically makes them less approachable.
Supreme_Switch@reddit
80s had a big push to just call everyone by their given(first) name. And outside of military/corporate work, it has stuck. America, in particular, has always been more informal.
If I recall correctly, it started when more women entered the workforce and was excellerated with the hippie movement.
RRR-Mimi-3611@reddit
I’m 67 and I don’t recall ever calling anyone by an honorific.
Ananvil@reddit
I'm a medical doctor, and I feel uncomfortable when my co-workers address me formally (unless in front of a patient). We're all working towards the same goal, no need for excess fluff or tiering.
KJHagen@reddit
I’m 64. When I worked in a factory in the early 1980s we called the senior managers as Mr or Mrs xxxxx. First line supervisors and technicians were called by their first names. I vaguely recalled addressing visitors and vendors more formally. I think most of that went away by the late 1980s.
(This was in California. I was a security guard, then a supervisor, then an HR generalist.)
Positive-Froyo-1732@reddit
I've been in the workforce for 35+ years. Maybe two supervisors the whole time expected to be called "Mr." or "sir." They were, of course, huge assholes and were roundly ignored.
JustAnotherDay1977@reddit
When bosses started to say “call me Joe.”
jessper17@reddit
I had one job at a retail store from 1991-1994 that I called the managers by Mr or Mrs or Miss. Never after that.
SpicaGenovese@reddit
People got self conscious about their age.
JohnnyBrillcream@reddit
Majority of my employees call me Mr. LASTNAME, I've been told it just fits. Almost everyone calls me by my last name anyway. I have a very short but unique last name, so that's how I'm referred to. There are people I've casually known for years that don't know that it's my last name, they just assume I was named that.
Try4se@reddit
I've never called someone Ms or Mr, except when it was required at school
CaptainAwesome06@reddit
I've never done it for the last 26 years of working. Sometimes my foreign employees will call me "sir" and I tell them to cut that out.
Ok_Entertainment9665@reddit
I wonder if the practice is more common outside of the US
SpaceCadetBoneSpurs@reddit
It depends on the field. Some fields are more formal than others.
I’m 32 and I work in government (financial regulation) and the persons in my line of work that would not be addressed by the first name would be:
Judges. Addressed as “your Honor” and referred to as “Judge [Last Name] in the third person.
law enforcement officers. Addressed as “Officer [Last Name] or simply by their rank, especially if they’re higher-ranking than an officer — for example, a Chief of Police or a detective would be called “Chief” or “Detective”, not “Officer.”
Persons occupying high office — eg, the head of a federal agency or higher. It varies by the position, but they would be addressed using their honorific. High-ranking executive officers are addressed as “Mr. Director” or “Madam Secretary” but most of us aren’t coming into contact with these people regularly.
All others are addressed using their first name. We’re all adults here.
lexicon951@reddit
I was literally just thinking about this
Lornesto@reddit
If my boss tried to insist I call them Mr Whatever, I'd probably laugh in their face.
I may be their employee, but I am not their child.
Loose-Set4266@reddit
I think this varies based on region. The east coast is far more formal than say the west coast is.
You often see mr/mrs first name in the south.
I'm in the PNW and we are very casual here. No one, not even teachers, go by a formal address out here as the norm.
valhallaswyrdo@reddit
I work for a massive corporation (fortune 100 list) I've never met anyone above my department's president but the first time I met him I did call him Mr. "President's last name" to which he immediately replied "Call me 'President's first name.' please." If I meet someone above him I'll probably do the same thing until they tell me otherwise.
tacmed85@reddit
I call my deputy director by his last name. No honorific, there's just too many other people with the same first name so it's easier
Technical_Air6660@reddit
I’ve been working since the early 80s and I’ve never called a boss anything but their first name.
Greyface13@reddit
I’m 67 and was surprised when I realized that no one called bosses at any level Mr or Mrs or whatever. Maybe it changed in the 60s when I was a kid
Bob_12_Pack@reddit
I’m 53 and have been working since I was 12. I’ve always called the boss by their first name.
Maximum_Employer5580@reddit
back in the 90s probably. When I first started working at a grocery store in the mid 80s, the managers were ALWAYS Mr/Mrs/Ms. Even had one one time who was about 5'5 compared to everyone else that was taller who absolutely lost their shit when someone called them by their first name. He acted like everyone else were his slaves and you could end up being sent to the 'cooler' (if you've watched Hogan's Heroes you know the reference) if you ever ever said his first name. But once I got out of the grocery store world in the mid 90s, any manager I had never had any issue with calling them by their first name, it was almost encouraged.
I worked at Dell for 20 years and Michael Dell regularly walked around to go talk to someone or headed to some meeting or whatever, just another guy in the office. Someone told me one time they had come across him and respectfully called him Mr Dell and he told this individual that his name was Michael and that Mr Dell was his father. When the actual CEO/Owner tells you to call them by their first name, then that pretty much sets the tone, but we still had a few managers who wanted to play the 'call me Mr' and nothing else. But we were always casual around the office....I would regularly wear shorts and a decent short sleeve button down....always something somewhat business related but still casual as well and no one blinked an eye. If you wore a shirt/tie there, people would think you had an interview or a date after work
Creepy_Juggernaut_56@reddit
When I was in high school, we had a student teacher who was in college at the nearby state University. In his context as a teacher we called him Mr.
I ended up going to college at the same university the next year and we ended up in the same elective summer semester seminar class. I called him by his first name and he actually gave me shit. This was in 1997 or 1998 and he literally said "since when are we on a first name basis?" like I had committed some serious breach of decorum. I had thought he was a bit pompous as a student teacher but was shocked. I said "Since we're both adults enrolled in the same class and I'm getting a better grade than you." Like I'm supposed to call some dude 3 years older than me "Mr" for the rest of my life because he once happened to be assigned to student teach at my school for a semester. 🙄
tarebola@reddit
I’m 65 and started working when I was 17. I’ve always referred to my boss by their first name. I might use Mr/Ms when talking about them to others outside the company but never when talking to them.
geminiloveca@reddit
I'm 50. I've called all my bosses/supervisors by the name they requested, which has always been their first name. (With the exception of my current boss, who uses a nickname.)
FLOHTX@reddit
I called my boss Mr Brooks in the late 2000s when I was reporting to him as a supervisor in an office setting. He's the only boss I ever called that.
He was an old school grumpy racist asshole and everyone called him Mr. I assume he made everyone do that since he started the company. This was in Miami.
Creepy_Juggernaut_56@reddit
My dad worked for a guy who ran his own company until he was in his late 90s. He retired in the mid aughts. Everybody had to call him Mr.
Nobody else at the company including his successor (one of his children, who were all in their 70s at least) asked anyone to call them by an honorific.
Bastyra2016@reddit
My dad (born ‘36) was called Mr B by his secretary even though he told her to call him by his first name. From my recollection prior to the 1970s it was common to use honorifics. I started a “real job” in ‘88 and called my boss Mr Whatever. I was told to call him Malcolm so by then at least the trend had shifted. At my second real job most of us peons referred to the big whigs by their last names. I likely wouldn’t have had too many opportunities to directly call them by their name to their face. What seems weird to me is folks who call their doctor by their first name. I’ve had a few in urgent care introduce themselves as either Dr Mary or just Mary but when someone asks me for a referral I do t say “I see Mary over at Urgent care”. Seems weird to me
Pitiable-Crescendo@reddit
Idk. I'm 30, and I've refered to almost all of my bosses by their first name. One by his last name.
Due_Classic_4090@reddit
We call everyone Ms., Mr., or Mrs. However, I work in a school.
Mysterious-Mango-752@reddit
I’m 39, I referred to one boss as Mr. Donaldson because he demanded it and even then, 24 years ago, we thought it was weird.
Rubberbandballgirl@reddit
I’ve been working since the late nineties and I’ve never called a boss by Mr/Mrs. Now in the job I’ve had for the past two decades I’ve addressed by their titles, but never Mr/Mrs.
Late_Resource_1653@reddit
In my 40s and I work in healthcare. All of my superiors prefer to go by first names, right up to the CEO. I do still call all the doctors "Doctor Last Name."
And I have never in my professional life introduced myself as Ms. last name - I'm just First Name.
I think it went out of fashion in the early 2000s.
MitchyS68@reddit
57 and have always called management by first name.
fiestybox246@reddit
I live in the south. I worked at a grocery store until 2001. My two highest managers were “Mr.” Then I went into the medical field. Everyone who isn’t a doctor goes by their first name.
Penguin_Green@reddit
At my job even the doctors go by their first name unless we're around patients.
fiestybox246@reddit
I worked in the clinical side in physician’s offices for a few years, then transferred to administrative in hospitals. I stopped working as closely with the doctors when I made the move to hospitals. That and getting them mixed up on the phone, form, etc., are probably two reasons we didn’t go by first names.
Penguin_Green@reddit
I will say that when a doctor tells a med student to use their first name, they never do. I think the med students think it's a trap!
RudyPup@reddit
Actually, let me correct myself. I did work in politics for a long time, and there, I did often refer to or call my bosses... Mr. Congressman, Mr. Speaker, Madam Chair, but that was usually in public. In private it varies.
RudyPup@reddit
I'm 48 and I never had. Hell, I worked for an international corporation and we called our CEO the shortened version of his first name... To his face.
Bearbearblues@reddit
I’m 50. I’ve never with the exception of when I was a doctoral candidate working for a professor. But even then the professor kept telling me to stop doing that.
I recall once learning from Dear Abby or Miss Manners, the custom in America is to reciprocate titles. In other words, if your doctor expects to be called Dr. Smith, then he must use the patients title. Everyone is equal regardless of occupation.
samanime@reddit
The whole Mr./Ms. in movies has pretty much always been a troupe more than a reflection of real-life. It is to emphasize the differences in the power dynamic between the two.
QV79Y@reddit
I started working in 1969 and I called every one of my bosses by their first names.
stochasticInference@reddit
A long time ago... pretty sure it was just a holdover from post-ww2 America where a lot of men had served and so were used to using titles / being referred to with titles.
mbergman42@reddit
I’m mid-sixties. My first summer job was when I was 13 and the boss was Mr. something.
At this time, we were at the tail end of a bunch of professional BS. About 10 years later, IBM ended the coat and tie requirement at work.
My first job out of college (early 80’s), everyone was on a first name basis. But it was mentioned as kind of a new thing.
Also, in the early 80s, a woman successfully sued her employer for permitting an environment where she was sexually harassed. This rocked the corporate world, and very quickly zero tolerance policies popped up everywhere. Prior to that, sexual harassment was pretty much overlooked.
Mission-Carry-887@reddit
In my experience, it was on or before 1984.
Ok-Concert-6475@reddit
Im in the Pacific Northwest. In my job in the corporate world, we have only ever used first names. I have a daughter in high school. I have noticed throughout her time in school that teachers/administrators refer to each other as Mr./Miss Lastname when children are present. But that's the only time I see it in frequent usage.
Hungry-Wrongdoer-156@reddit
I'm 45, and the only time since I started working as a teenager that I haven't addressed my boss by their first name was when I was in the military. When I speak to the CEO of my current organization (several levels above me), I call her by her first name.
I also can't remember ever hearing either of my parents refer to their work superiors by an honorific, even as far back as the '80s.
If sitcoms are anything to go by, and they probably aren't, the trend seems to have died off between the late '60s and mid-'70s in the US, and stuck around until the at least the mid-late '80s in the UK (I can still remember watching Are You Being Served? for the first time as a kid and thinking how strange it was that everyone who worked in that department store addressed each other, even people at the same level as themselves or lower, as "Mr/Mrs Whoever.")
bellegroves@reddit
The only person I've worked for who insisted on the honorific was a PhD. But I've worked for other PhDs who went by their first names at work, and a medical doctor who went by Dr. Initial rather than full on title+surname.
Katty_Whompus_@reddit
Hmm I’m 64 and thinking back to some of my first jobs, I always called them by their first names. You know here in the US we don’t have as much of a class system so everyone is always made to feel like they’re on equal ground.
Nelsqnwithacue@reddit
I occasionally use Mr./Mrs. with my bosses. It adds a nice splash of sassiness to what I'm about to share lol.
StinkieBritches@reddit
Some of my Korean bosses have expected us to call them Mr whateverkoreanname, but most I've just called by their first name.
Traditional_Entry183@reddit
My first two jobs, both work study in college, I called my (boomer and older) bosses Mr.
Every job since, I've called my Gen X bosses by their first name.
AleroRatking@reddit
I don't know anyone who doesn't call their boss a mr or Ms (I work in a school)
SadLocal8314@reddit
In 1982, I called my employers Mr. and Mrs. In 1983, moved across country, got a new job and called them Bob and Rachel. I don't think I've called anyone by honorifics since.
Dignam3@reddit
Early 40s here, and I have never called a boss Mr. or Mrs., even in corporate settings.
I only ever use that title ironically, or referring to a teacher I had years ago. Or I guess if I were talking to the mayor or something.
excessively314@reddit (OP)
That’s my same approach. I only refer to my boss as “Mister” if I’m about to ask something stupid or to bail early
Exact-Truck-5248@reddit
I've only had one boss who insisted on being called Mr Surname. He was a pompous ass who was younger than most of the employees, and despised by all of them. He didn't last.
Poppet_CA@reddit
I call people what they call themselves. If they introduce themselves as Joe, Joe it is. Mr. McGuffin? You got it.
These days, it seems like the only people who introduce themselves as Mr/Mrs are teachers. And some of them even do Mr/Ms given-name.
DrAniB20@reddit
I’m 33 and call all my bosses by their first names in internal meetings or one on one. If we’re in front of patients, in external meetings, at conferences, or with hospital administrators, I call them by their honorific, unless told otherwise (I.e. our our Administrative Director has been there for 40 years and everyone calls him “Jerry”).
theoracleofdreams@reddit
The only time I ever called a superior by their honorific was when I was teaching at my old high school and it still felt disrespectful to call my former teachers by their first name. My mom was a teacher and ingrained that into me fairly well I think.
I work in higher ed now, and call the dean by their first name.
Word2DWise@reddit
I think that's a boomer generation thing. I'm 45 been working since 18, never called a supervisor anything but their name, aside from when in the military which is required.
Now that I'm in corporate, reporting lines don't even get mentioned, meaning when we introduce each other it's "we work together" not "he/she works for me". This is the same between my boss and I, and myself and my subordinates.
The only time I ever pulled rank in a corporate setting was when defending some of my employees, if another random manager or employee overstepped, as in "they work for me, if you have a problem, you come to me".
Vikingaling@reddit
I had one boss in approximately 1999 who was Mr. _____. He was an older southern man and the president of the company. But even then every other boss was just firstname.
Loisgrand6@reddit
At my last job at an insurance company, we were instructed to call everyone by their first names, even the top dogs. I got hired there in 1986. It was strange to me because the jobs I was in before that, we had to use Mr/mrs/miss.
FadingOptimist-25@reddit
In the ‘80s? As a teen, I called the main manager Mr. A. But everyone else was by first name.
My first job out of college in early ‘90s, I called my boss by her first name.
judijo621@reddit
I'm a 68 year old retired x-ray tech. Since our supervisors and department managers are techs too, generally, us veterans probably knew them, or of them, when they were on the floors too. First names.
Higher ups who I didn't know personally got called by Mr. or Ms. until they specifically asked to be referred by first name.
Although I was taken aback by the first person to call me ma'am or Mrs, now I truly appreciate the respect displayed by those who allow me the formal title.
It's an act of respect. It's simple etiquette. And our refusal to actively continue to learn how to communicate with strangers, face-to-face, inhibits our practice of such behaviors.
Upstairs-Storm1006@reddit
Literally never in my personal experience. I've been the rank & file worker and always used first names of higher ups. Now I'm the boss and everyone uses my first name.
I know that at certain companies the most senior execs like CEOs are referred to as Mr/Mrs ___. It seems like those are huge companies where the boss is very old, for example Warren Buffet is called Mr. Buffet by employees of Berkshire Hathaway & it's portfolio companies. But that's the exception, not the rule.
Enough-Moose-5816@reddit
March 19, 1977.
The date of the last episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
Jaymac720@reddit
My company is on an entirely first name basis. Even the president is just his first name instead of Dr. [last name]
Prairie_Crab@reddit
I worked for a state official for 15 years. He was “Mr. _” while in the office, but you could call him by his first name in casual social settings. His replacement started off as first name only.
Madrona88@reddit
I just left a job where I didn't even know their last names. They didn't know mine either.
cballowe@reddit
I don't know if it was ever particularly common in white collar work, particularly back office stuff. There may be some customer service facing roles where such things might be more common , at least while customers are present. The only ones I can really think of off the top of my head, though, are things like doctors and teachers.
garden__gate@reddit
I think TV shows were really behind on this because it just has an effect to have characters call their bosses by their last names. I’ve been working (retail then offices) since the mid-90s and I have never called a boss by his last name.
RNH213PDX@reddit
I am in my 50s and have worked in major government and corporate positions. The only time I have ever used an honorific for a boss or anyone else was government officials in formal settings. Think of Senator Smith in public, Ellen in private.
Otherwise, absolutely no one I have ever encountered in 30 years calls their boss "Mr./Mrs." in public or private. (Doctor is a little bit different.)
PromiseThomas@reddit
My mom was telling me a story about when she was working in the 80s and she had a coworker who always simperingly called her boss “Mr. Smith” even though everyone else called their bosses by first names. I’m guessing by mid-80s it was basically extinct but still plenty of workers who remembered it.
DFTBA1014@reddit
I think it depends on the workplace dynamics. At my work, the folks with doctorates or medical degrees are called Dr. and the upper level military folks are called by rank. But regardless of their specific role, the enlisted folks are mostly called by last name and the civilians are called by first name. This is never explicitly stated as the procedure but just about everyone adheres to the pattern.
elainegeorge@reddit
When they stopped giving out pensions
shelwood46@reddit
I am 60 and entered the workforce in the mid-80s, and did less formal jobs (babysitting, lawn service etc) before that and always called my bosses by their first names, in a variety of fields, so definitely before then, I'd guess maybe the early 60? But it would depend on type of job/industry and region etc. Also, I have no idea what you mean by "serious" positions. I've had jobs that were literally life or death, we definitely used first names.
-Boston-Terrier-@reddit
I'm totally guessing here but I would imagine the trend started in the '60s, picked up steam in the '80s, and became the norm around 2000.
I'm in my mid-40s and have never called any of my bosses anything but their first names.
Just_blorpo@reddit
As a rule, though the 1960’s pushed the envelope, it was the 1970’s where everything changed. In a thousand different ways.
Rommie557@reddit
When I had to teach them how to covert a Word Doc to a PDF for the thirteenth time.
Responsible_Side8131@reddit
I’m 58, been working since I was 16. I’ve never called my boss by “Mr last name” or “ms Lastname”.
Fit-Rip-4550@reddit
I still use the honorifics.
nevadapirate@reddit
In 40 plus years of jobs I honestly cant remember ever calling my bosses Mr or Mrs What ever. Every boss has asked me to call them by first name.
SeniorScientist-2679@reddit
I'm a doctor in a big academic hospital. I generally call my colleagues and bosses in my department by their first name. I call doctors in other specialties Dr. Soandso (unless I know them) regardless of whether they are senior or junior to me.
Pretty much all the non-physician staff call me Dr. XYZ, and so do all the residents. I usually call residents Dr. ABC, although most other faculty call residents by their first name.
Just don't call me "hey, anesthesia"!
MakalakaPeaka@reddit
YO, GASSY!
Ok_Depth_6476@reddit
It's weird, I grew up seeing people refer to bosses with titles and last names, and yet I've NEVER had a job where that was expected. So I'm going to say, sometime around the early 90s?
Rarewear_fan@reddit
I would say it’s hugely fallen out of fashion in most industries. Workplace equality of Human Resources are a big deal to many and HR departments want to avoid clear power grabs/abuses of power.
Another aspect is work flexibility of ages and roles. Today more than ever we see bosses who are younger than their employees, and no one likes referring to someone much younger than them using honorifics.
I’d say outside of very specific industries you don’t see this, and if a boss or company tried to enforce it these days it would quickly be known that this boss/company isn’t a good place to work due to enforced outdated rules.
FiddleThruTheFlowers@reddit
I hadn't thought about it, but good point about the age difference factor. I'm in my early 30s and in a management position at a corporate job. I'm managing people anywhere from fresh college graduates to around my parents' age. I feel weird being called Ms in general, barring customer service or formal settings. It'd feel really weird if someone 20 years older than me called me "Ms LastName" just because I'm his manager.
Striking_Sky6900@reddit
I’m my Sixties. That was kind of weird when I was a young professional calling everyone by their first name. So I noticed it in the early eighties.
MakalakaPeaka@reddit
The 1800s, probably.
milkandsugar@reddit
I'm 60 and have lived and worked in the south my whole life. I don't recall ever calling a direct manager by their last name, but there was one very old near retirement partner I worked with whom I always called Mr. Lastname. He was old school southern and it just didn't seem right to call him "Bill" like the older employees did.
I often called our clients by their last name, as they were often also older, (like old well known families) and it just didn't feel right to me calling them by their first names unless they insisted.
One of my first real grown up jobs in an office, was a California insurance company with a lot of CA people who transferred across country when they opened this office in ATL. I would say "Sir" to the agents on the phone (older men I had not and would not meet in person). Those a'holes made fun of me for saying "Sir," because they saw it as backward and subservient rather than respectful. I hated those jerks.
Iwoulddiefcftbatk@reddit
My first job in high school circa 2002 in Ohio at a major movie theater chain we had to call the managers Mr/Mrs X, but mostly that was because we had the regional office for the chain based at our theater and the regional manager had a stick up their butt. Aside from that I’ve never called a boss by honorific title.
TissBish@reddit
It depends on the job for me. I started working early too. But in fast food places, banks, restaurants etc my managers were always first name, never Mr/mrs/miss. Office jobs, they went by them. I call my boss whatever they want to be called, and whatever everyone else called them.
CaptinEmergency@reddit
My mom had a boss in the ’90s that insisted on being called Mr. Lastname. She thought it was weird at the time.
WritPositWrit@reddit
I started working as an engineer in 1990 and I only called my bosses “Mr” when I wanted to tease them. First names all around, even for the directors & VPs.
excessively314@reddit (OP)
My current boss’s last name is “Nice” so I also do this to tease him 😂 any serious situation I’ll call him by his first name
klimekam@reddit
That’s wild tbh. I’m 35 and I’ve never encountered that. What happens when your friend gets a promotion and becomes your supervisor? That happened to me once, I was promoted and I would have been so freaked out if my friends started referring to me as Ms. LastName. 😂
latin220@reddit
I’ve always used title and/or Mr/Ms/Mrs surname though I would say in the last 10-15 years that’s fallen out of favor as management leaders tends to want to be called by their first name not title or surname. Especially if they’re younger Gen X they started the trend and Millennials really ran with the idea of being the “cool boss.” So they just don’t use honorifics anymore.
I occasionally do, but that’s because in my family I was beaten into it so always, “Yes sir/No ma’am, as you say, principal Smith or proctor Davis or Mr/Ms/Mrs whatever.”
PghSubie@reddit
I'm 56, never called a boss by Mr or Mrs anything, nor had a boss who wanted to be referred to as such
Bedessilliestsoldier@reddit
I used to work at a museum and everyone (except me, who was knew with him since before I worked there) called the executive director “Mr. [Last Name]” this was in the late 2010s but it was definitely unusual. He was a very nice guy who took good care of his staff.
Free_Four_Floyd@reddit
I’ve had jobs since 1978 (full time since 1984) and have never called my boss Mr., Mrs., Miss, Dr… It’s always first name - though sometimes behind their back…
ComesInAnOldBox@reddit
When bosses stopped requiring it.
Odd-Guarantee-6152@reddit
I’m 40 and started working at 16 and never heard anyone refer to their bosses as “Mr” or “Ms.”
That is very weird to me.
wekilledbambi03@reddit
I work at a university with a ton of people with PhDs. And even they don't care about being called "Doctor".
An adult referring to another adult as Mr/Mrs just feels weird. It is very impersonal and creates weird power dynamics. I've always referred to co-workers and superiors with their first name.
I mostly hear it used nowadays referring to people you aren't familiar with or in an ironic fashion. "Send this to Mr. Johnson over in central" (unfamiliar, may not even know first name) or "Oh, Mr. Johnson thinks he's too good for..." (ironic)
Severe-Reality5546@reddit
It had to be before the 1990's. I started my career in '92, and everyone used first names.
this_is_so_fetch@reddit
Some people call my boss by his last name, but that might be because about 5 other location managers in the area have the same 1st name.
Carinyosa99@reddit
Back in the late 80s and early 90s, my friends had either retail or food service jobs and always called their bosses by their first names. I, on the other hand, obtained office jobs through a temp company and since I didn't have a closer professional relationship at the places I worked, the boss was always Mr./Mrs. so-and-so. Once I got my first full-time job, I referred to my boss by first name.
crazycatlady331@reddit
I'm 45.
I've only called my bosses Mr/Mrs/Ms Lastname once. That was when I worked in a movie theater in high school. Their nametags didn't say "John", they said "Mr. Smith" on them (ours said our first names). 90% of the employees at that place were high school students because the second you turned 18, they'd make you work the post midnight showings.
Previous-Artist-9252@reddit
When I started working in the civil service, it was the first time in my life honorifics and last names only were used at work. Even then, we often skip the honorifics and just use the surname.
Otherwise I always used first names at work.
jvc1011@reddit
Maybe 1950?
Tasia528@reddit
Probably when older workers started working for younger bosses.
SufficientProject273@reddit
It depends on the person entirely. When first meeting someone I always use Mr./Ms. Generally they will say oh call me "first name" but some do wish to be called mr./ms./mrs.
22ndCenturyHippy@reddit
I found it more common for people to say Mr and Ms in the south