Broke up with my girlfriend today
Posted by KvHuntit@reddit | Truckers | View on Reddit | 95 comments
Me 30y and her 33y were in a 2 year relationship. I started OTR then moved to regional home every weekend with her. Different personalities and communication styles would not allow us to click outside of bed. Best sex/lovemaking of our lifes we both ever had according to her and me. We just could not click outside of the bedroom and me being gone most of the week I tried to make up taking her out and in bed which we both clicked too well on. When we went out also was great times but I don’t think we ever reached an intimacy level that me or her wanted. So we agreed to part ways today even though we still “loved/wanted” each other and wanted to work so much and we worked hard at it to communicate but we just could never see eye to eye or understand each other on mostly everything. Which led me to believe we just the wrong person for each other.
I don’t want to isolate. I still have to drive 11-14 hour shifts. I’m looking to grow as a person. Stopped making friends in the process of 2 years only driving and being with her on the weekends. Time to find myself again. I’ll answer all your questions and possibly will have to add to this post as I go. Anyone else gone through a breakup and still have to perform our job 11-14 hr daily?
Dr_Adderall_2000@reddit
I almost quit trucking JUST for a girl…. But I told her that she had to have patience for me or find someone else. A chick is NEVER EVER worth pausing your growth for! Reach Down and locate your balls, that’s what I did before saying “fuck it.”
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
I located my testicles and packed up and took off to NC blocked her and transferred to another job location
Chickenshyt_bullshyt@reddit
I dated someone who started trucking 2 years ago. The job never once bothered me at all. Id have been doing it too if I didn’t have a child to care for (not theirs). I loved them more then they could have ever known. I thought we had been on the same page about shit as they claimed they wanted a family and all the good shit. We were trying to have a kid. Planning for a future so I thought. They left for a whole month when I went to take a class to get a new credential to better the work field and pay scale for us. He came home after that whole month and completely discarded me. I didn’t even see it coming. They literally told me they loved me and missed me everyday up until I picked them up from the truck that day. They packed up what they could and split like a coward. 3 months later they still have sentimental shit here that they just let go to avoid me. Like I get trucking. I used to hear the frustrations all the time and I get the mental health aspect. But to have handled it like that? It was shitty, still is because it left me feeling like “why wasn’t I good enough?” When I know I am but they clearly have their own demons to work out. Just sucks. I’m too old to be having to deal with that.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
How old are you? I almost ghosted her too without explanation but I had many conversations before going ghost and telling her I was going ghost… when I have ghosted people is because I had some demons that they probably wouldn’t have understood and sometimes I thought they weren’t worth an explanation
K1d-ego@reddit
If I were you, I’d stay regional. You’ve learned it CAN work with the right person. Just look at the last year when things weren’t great as practice for when you find the right one.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
Stay regional and not go local?
K1d-ego@reddit
If local works for you, go for it but for me, running local is literally the worst driving I do. My home state and the major city I live near are my weekly nightmare. I’d rather just get out into the midwest a little bit and have tolerable driving all week than to fight endless white knuckle traffic in a shitty daycab just so I can take a glorified 10 hour break at home before getting up at 2AM to do again the next day. Not for me. I like getting home at a decent time Friday and having the weekend off. Sometimes I leave Sunday for a better revenue week but not always.
Helios-21@reddit
Just do otr for a year or two and get out and do local. Not only does it look great on a resume but you do learn a lot out there trucking every day. I did it for 4 years and loved it. I left after my family said my cat was a nightmare (total lie) and I had to come get her. Got a local job and found out life is good coming home every day and you can make good money. That was years ago and now I work at usps driving a truck.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
Would love to get with ups… OTR is not for me I can’t do it anymore I did it for 1 year
AndromedanPrince@reddit
most ppl are dating someone they just like fucking, they dont like the actual person.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
It’s the first time this happens to me
AndromedanPrince@reddit
might not be the last either, just be smarter next time. its too much to be typing but you will know when u have something outside of just fucking.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
How will I know? I’m 30 and have had multiple gfs more than I can count with my fingers lol All my other relationships besides this one I’ve been the asshole. This time was different I didn’t wanna make the same mistakes and I changed and tried to do everything right to the best of my ability. Kept it real always, put honesty before anything and remained faithful always. Work, gym , cooked , pays half the bills ,
But it’s the first time I’ve ever felt as if I was not enough since I’ve had girl in the past where I was a real peace of shit deadbeat and these girls were bending over backwards for me… maybe is karma and I’m paying the price for all I’ve done in my past 🤣
AndromedanPrince@reddit
well first you already have self awareness. u changed what u did wrong in the past and became a better man. now next go round, take sex completely out of the equation. dont even smash the first 1-3 months in. see who she really is. if she cant respect that she not for you and u wont get caught up in good sex and some fun company.
u get to know the person, what she values, how she handles ur career, can she be faithful or give up on you easily etc.
often times i noticed that sex is about all some girls have to offer and she thinks its enough when in actuality if she didnt have a vagina shed be worthless.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
Deep Bro… I was trying to find the value but just good sex lasts however you want it to last but it doesn’t last all day or forever it has to come to an end… and when that happens it’s back to some rollercoaster weird shit of stepping on egg shells… I like what you said about putting sex in the back burner and not even worry about it … I’ve never tried that approach- the longest I’ve waited is about a month before sex with a girl
AndromedanPrince@reddit
i had to go thru and learn the same thing brother. i started moving different now ive been married to a great woman for 5 years now. good luck to u fam.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
I appreciate your advice I made it out and I’m back home now in NC Bless your marriage bro sending good vibes your way!!!
AndromedanPrince@reddit
youre welcome fam and thank you! Much love!
RuneScape420Homie@reddit
A good healthy relationship with infrequent sex is way better than a toxic relationship where you bone like rabbits.
Sex is cool and all, but you know what is better than that? A good healthy, loving relationship.
And to answer your final question, yes. When I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, I went over the road and it made it way better.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
No wonder Without her I’ll be able to also perform better at work I automatically leveled up when I left Now I’m in NC
Coastalvitamins@reddit
Yea went through a divorce . It’s ironic because trucking saved and ruined our relationship. We would have never lasted so long if I was not out on the road for weeks at a time. Gave us the space we needed. Then moved on to regional. Being home more often broke whatever we were hanging on to.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
What happened when you went regional?
Coastalvitamins@reddit
We have 2 different communication styles and we became more like roommates. We started bickering more and I felt like my role in life was just to work, pay the bills and come home. I honestly got a little resentful and decided that this is not how I want to spend the rest of my life. There’s still a lot of love there, just not the kind where I want to share my life with her on an intimate relationship level.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
Damn sounds like your talking about me that’s scary 😱
Coastalvitamins@reddit
Sorry you went through that. I think overtime, people can outgrow each other and there’s nothing wrong with breaking it off. To me, it all comes down to whether or not I wanted to keep working out the same bs , talking though the same things we have been trying to figure out for years and it wasn’t going anywhere. I would rather be single than a bill paying machine or constantly being in a bad mood as I’m on my way home. Go out there, grow your career, protect your finances, have some fun and eventually you will find someone else when you’re not looking for it.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
Yeah you’re spying on me 🤣🤣🤣
SandyAmbler@reddit
This is “Truckers,” not “Fuckers”
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
Lmfao
Aromatic_Addition204@reddit
Pics or it didn’t happen
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
What didn’t happen lol
Justaguy222444888@reddit
Sir this is a Wendys
c0caine_cinderella@reddit
This is made me laugh for the first time in days thank you
Justaguy222444888@reddit
Do you listen to any stand up comedy while driving? Highly recommend it. Keeps me sane and happy out here. Praying for more laughs and joy for you going forward. You deserve it :)
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I needed that laugh lmfao 🤣🤣
mistman1978@reddit
You need a local job.
GTFO of anything you are gone overnight if you want a life. Take a pay cut or relocate if necessary.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
I’m on it … overnight or OTR is wayyyyy underpaid imo I would consider temporarily for the right amount $ 3-4k + per week but I believe that’s long gone
Justaguy222444888@reddit
Haha hey on a real note man, yes I’ve been through many relationships while OTR. Relationships and trucking don’t mix well. It’s long distance relationship. It’s hard. You’ve either got to accept that, or find a new profession that has you home every day. I’m only mid 20’s so I don’t really care too much, I’m trying to build a future for myself first and foremost. You’ve got to figure out your priorities as well.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
Yeah the money isn’t worth me being away from relationship and family so unfortunately the weakest link is this case was my relationship and it broke so I’ll continue trucking regional looking for a home everyday position and step my game up. I don’t have the time that a relationship requires right now to grow and nurture I feel that I need most from myself right now and I have to pour all I have left unto myself to grow as a person 🫠 at least I’m 30yrs old figuring this out and not 60 cuz I heard some truckers single at 60-70 years old dying in their sleepers and don’t get found till days later sadly.
mistman1978@reddit
You won't build a fortune in trucking.
Vortr8@reddit
No, this is patrick!!
Rough-Method8876@reddit
Take my upvote you rascal 🫡
J-Rag-@reddit
I can recommend some good shitty truck stops if you want an easy rebound date?
But seriously that sucks. Sometimes the open road is the best place to be left alone with your thoughts, sometimes it's the worst. Hope it ain't too rough for ya
Aromatic_Addition204@reddit
I head they come with a side of herpes and a helping of crabs
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
I appreciate you hahaha I did the rebound thing on my previous relationship and just left me feeling shitty and empty lol so I learned to not rebound on purpose looking for it hahahaha I made a bad choice…. Now if it comes my way and it’s right I might not try to dodge it 🤣
nekaiser@reddit
I know of a great place in Memphis where you can find your next girlfriend.
Allegedly.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
Where is that hahaha
nekaiser@reddit
The Love’s on Lamar. The girls there love you so much, they all come knocking on your door!
your-momspussy@reddit
Jill is now your lover
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
I love ❤️ Jill valentine
Frame1111@reddit
That's rough, man. This reminds me of myself a year ago when I went through something similar that made me go local from OTR.
It was one of the best decisions I've ever made.
I was at one of my lowest point- poor diet, a quiet loneliness that you don't talk about and a longing for connection.
The endless driving while be left to nothing but your thoughts and the road were extremely challenging to deal with.
What I had to do was start getting back into my passions and hobbies, which is much of the reason I went local. It took time but I got my mind and body back; even met a great girl.
Your work is important but don't forget about the other things too.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
Aiming for local and socializing communities and connections
National-Answer-9792@reddit
Something to remember. When a man breaks it off with a woman, he can go back anytime he wants. However, if a man waits until the woman breaks it off, he'll never get the chance to go back with her again.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
We both broke it up and she was calling me private yesterday I didn’t answer
EfyuSeekay@reddit
Relationships with just sex as the foundation usually don’t last
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
I learned this at 30years old and learning sex isn’t even half of a relationship it’s a very small part specially when your with that person everyday… you have to like like them and I don’t think I liked her outside of bed she even told me that … I think we both felt the same and didn’t like each other except when we were having sex so I don’t even think I can call that making love
EfyuSeekay@reddit
Aye man that’s life, you’ll find the one for you eventually just stay focused on yourself in the meantime bruh
UrbanIronPoet@reddit
We all been through it my brother and you young as fuck..You got plenty of time to shack up. Lord knows how many relationships I've tried to make work around this road shit but it's just oil and water dawg. Stack your paper now and play later. Keep yourself in shape and we'll groomed and trust me these hoes gone choose.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
Yooo if you ain’t speaking the truth bruhhh!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
5tudent_Loans@reddit
Better than her getting frustrated, secretly cheating and stringing you along. Glad it went smoothly for yall
Dlocsmith@reddit
Honestly, even though he may not have caught her, but you can't rule this out..
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
I may not have caught her but I rather not think about this one since it never came up and we are not longer together
5tudent_Loans@reddit
Still an amicable breakup so even if she is, its no longer relevant
Microshlongg@reddit
Just know she’ll be crawling back soon. Don’t take her back
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
She called me last night no called Id 4 times I was on the phone with my grandma so I ignored the calls… I guess she’s already trying to
TinkerTasker22@reddit
This would be very hard, because you have so much time to think on the road. My best advice is to listen to some podcast, maybe science podcast, comedy podcast, or crime if you cant find anything else....stay away from political and religous podcast because your not in the right state and who kniws what ravmbbit whole you could fall in too since you will be depressed and sumetimes those tyoes of pidcast can prey on deoression.. Join some discord group chats. But most importantly try to stay active. Get out of your truck and walk or go work out at a planet fitness. Also plan things you want to do on your time off, pick an activity to do such as cooking class, judo lessons, woodworking, anything really,or if you go back otr plan small trips around a cool place you woukd like to go and experience. Im told that girls get over breakups faster....as a girl myself while im not sure if this is true because heartbreak is the worst....those things are exactly what chicks do when we break up with people, so who knows maybe it will help you.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
Very solid advice and I appreciate I’m just getting work on myself and get better as a person and heal love myself more thank you
Eagle_307@reddit
In terms of podcasts, I’d recommend “Let Them Fight” podcast.
Naborsx21@reddit
I'm sorry man.
I've been driving OTR mostly for the past 9\~?ish years. Started when I was 22 , am now 31. Had a slew of relationships that didn't work out. At least trucking will keep you busy to the point you're not thinking about it as much, or sitting at home alone. I once dated a girl for 2 1/2 years that I found out I was going to her house every weekend and sleeping with her because her husband was away on the weekends. lol that was rough. I just spent more time focusing on setting up my own trucking stuff.
It sucks , but if it didnt work out now it's probably way better than having 10 years go by and then going through a breakup.
Tis a lonely lifestyle, but sometimes it ain't so baddd.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
Yeah exactly my friend stayed and tried to work on it for 10 years I think I stayed 1 year too long in this 2 years relationship but I don’t regret it … I learned a lot and I left before she broke me completely mentally
No_Vacation369@reddit
That’s why the Gods created lot lizards and cashiers/waitresses.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
🤣🤣🤣
InvestigatorBroad114@reddit
It’s rough man, but at least you broke it off before it got toxic or something else happened.
Trucking is one of those jobs where you self isolate for hours and it can make or break a person, OTR you’re gone for weeks and just basically talk to yourself. Even local I have zero time to do anything outside of work and on the weekends I’m tired af, it’s just the nature of the job. People are gonna come and go, true partners and friends will stay by your side. I myself have some regret about why I chose this career and I’ve slowly watched friendships become more distant since I’m never home or too tired to do anything or can’t stay out late because I’m up early af everyday.
I sometimes think about wanting a relationship? But who wants me, I’m gone all day everyday and have no time outside of work to do anything during the week. Yes there’s The Weekend but all week of doing nothing but work I have my own shit to deal with by Saturday. It’s a rough life man, glad it went smoothly for you
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
Best thing for me is to work on a transition after this is all over
Dlocsmith@reddit
This! I feel like any lane whether systems(OTR), Regional, or Local, you still feel tied down without a life outside of it. The only thing I can see working for me is Regional. Local gives warehouse vibes as if I'm back order filling but on the streets with traffic.
itsaheem@reddit
Anyone else gone through a breakup and still have to perform our job 11-14 hr daily?
Yes, and my advice is by all means allow yourself to go thru all the feelings of sadness etc . . . BUT . . make sure to be aware enough and don't let it negatively affect your work to the point that you lose your job too 👍👍
GTOdriver04@reddit
This part: imagine your emotions are like a stress ball.
Now, when you start to feel sad, it’s okay to acknowledge it, feel it for a minute. Then yeet that sucker out the window as hard as a prime Big Unit fastball.
If you refuse to acknowledge that the sadness, frustration, etc. are there and you try to bury it then it will come back to haunt you.
Instead you have to give yourself a few minutes to process it, then work to move forward with it. Don’t let it hold you back.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
I’m will focus on sitting with it for now and feel what I’m feeling
West_Imagination3237@reddit
I lost the best paying job I ever had from that very scenario...
SexMachine666@reddit
Same. Found out my wife was cheating on me and then had to go to work as a team driver on a 4 day round trip. The other driver told Safety he was awake the whole time because he was constantly afraid he'd wake up dead because I was extremely suicidal. I told him I'd never do that to him or the company, but they let me go anyway.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
Damn !!!! I’m sorry to hear that brother
West_Imagination3237@reddit
I've learned mental health breaks are essential in this line of work.
SexMachine666@reddit
Absolutely. It ended up being the best thing financially. I got a much better job after I had a few months off to go a little crazy, do some crazy things and get in a slightly less suicidal state of mind.
KvHuntit@reddit (OP)
I feel that and I’ll be filling for divorce soon 🫠 I’m courting someone new and her name is LTL last name shuttle lol I’m taking her last name if we ever get married hahaha
AdMaster6638@reddit
The best trucker wife is a daughter that grew up with a trucker dad
No_Vacation369@reddit
Why? Bc she has daddy issues and fear of abandonment
renostar08@reddit
Because we know what that life is all about. We grew up in it and it's normal to us....
Imaginativested@reddit
Oh, you almost got me there. That read different for a second there.
HandleSubstantial169@reddit
https://youtu.be/7jHTGNPOYGQ?si=z1mktbSml8Lat9GA
yamahamama61@reddit
Get a c.b. Radio. Start up a conversation on there
EastSideFlo@reddit
Cry-> beat the bishop-> be on your way to the shipper/receiver-> repeat 🔁
bealiobealio@reddit
Your ex girlfriend is the past. Spend your energy and money on family and reconnect with your friends and tell them about your road life.
Dramatic-Cycle4837@reddit
Start by getting a local run. Try cryogenics.
Nomad2k@reddit
Buddy.... Welcome to the life. You're married to the road. As I like to call her and it's a pet name. Her name is Bitch
HeftySwan69@reddit
What’s her contact information? I would also like go compare my love making to her.
ahowls@reddit
Nah I can get laid super easy but can't keep one down so I can't share these grievances