ULPT: Fun things to do at work that make me look busy.

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Indigomarie43@reddit

Doing a few typing test can be a fun way to kill time and the clacky clack sound from your keyboard makes it seem like you’re hard at work.

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Whenever you walk around make sure you are holding papers/folders, etc. A person walking around with paperwork looks busy. Just make sure you have something work related in those papers, so you don't blow your cover

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M-V-D_256@reddit

Also don't just walk, walk towards somewhere. Walking for leisure and walking to a place look different so just pick a room and walk to it, wait a few minutes, and walk out.

Also if you can - get people to call you to places or contact you through phone or stuff

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UncleAnything@reddit

I call this strategy "the hall pass".

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mrw4787@reddit

I work in a kitchen and if you just walk around with a towel, nobody bothers you or asks for help lol

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notquitehuman_@reddit

Front of house, grab a sanitiser spray and walk with purpose. People will assume you're off to relay.

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bobobedo@reddit

And have a plausible response when your boss asks you where you're headed with that mess of papers.

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M0ck_duck@reddit

Or a clipboard. I used to do “inventory counts” at an old job quite frequently

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Just_Here_So_Briefly@reddit

Are you living in the 90s?

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PathanAdil@reddit

Doesn’t have to be 90s, printed papers still goes around especially in my field - construction.

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Soggy-Type-1704@reddit

Exactly. Heck if your in construction and the call outs on drawings come in red. Most People in the field would actively avoid you.

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_The_Spungos_@reddit

I mean yes, I wish, but plenty of corporate/office jobs still print paper

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MacintoshEddie@reddit

I carry around porn magazines because Metal Gear Solid taught me I can toss them on the floor to create a distraction while I escape and wait for the employees to forget I'm here.

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DrGreenthumbs1313@reddit

Make sure to duck into your cardboard box for added stealth

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mewithband@reddit

The Penske files perhaps?

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False_Mushroom_8962@reddit

This really works. About 20 years ago there was a commercial with a guy talking about how he does nothing but people think he's a hard worker because he walks around purposefully with a folder. I decided to try it and my boss called me in to tell me how many compliments he was getting about my work ethic.

I haven't been in an office in years but can't stop walking like that now

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theguineapigssong@reddit

For the pro level technique walk around with that paperwork on a clipboard and a worried/frustrated look on your face. If anyone tries to talk to you, just point at the clipboard and then act like your doing your absolute best to not start screaming and crying at the same time.

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krzykris11@reddit

My first boss told me whenever I walk anywhere to always carry a notebook.

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RuthTheWidow@reddit

I have a clipboard specifically for this.

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mrsir1987@reddit

Im always writing on my clipboard but no one knows it only has a crossword puzzle on it

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Intelligent_Radish15@reddit

lol. Unless you’re like 6’9”, they absolutely know.

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IronbAllsmcginty78@reddit

I used to have my green clipboard, I'd walk around looking down at it and was essentially invisible.

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o-Tomato-@reddit (OP)

Haha thanks, yeah I already walk a lot and saw that posted on other similar questions. I guess I was wondering what I could do so as not to fall asleep from boredom while looking busy

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PalpitationFine@reddit

If you carry a large stack of paper, you can put a Fleshlight in the middle of the stack, you'll be earning money while making cummy

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Reverberate_@reddit

Create art in Excel. Everyone looks like they're working if they have a spreadsheet up.

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Foxy_Traine@reddit

Get a book you want to read and download a pdf of it or copy the text into a word document. Read that instead of work.

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cubemissy@reddit

Open Library!

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the_honest_liar@reddit

Rename the file something like draft_2_current.pdf

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Lopsided-List9553@reddit

If your company tracks your search history or opened files, you can also e-mail it to your personal Outlook, open emails on web and read it from there. The name of the tab in your history will be ‘Mail - [name] - Outlook’. Probably works for Gmail too but haven’t tried it

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LevelPerception4@reddit

Go with the Word doc, pause occasionally to type for a few minutes.

If you’re paranoid, copy a couple of paragraphs at a time and put them in the notes field of a PowerPoint presentation; you can just click on the slide to hide the text.

Got a coworker in the same position? Bitch about how hard it is to work with all the noise in the office, and book a meeting in a small conference room for a couple of hours with a vague meeting description and do your thing in companionable silence.

If not, you can still hide out in conference rooms by yourself. If your thing is browsing Reddit, do that on your phone but first open a presentation in PowerPoint in present mode; this will prevent your PC going to sleep/showing your status as away in Teams. You’re on a call/waiting for a call/just ended a call.

Of course, it’s entirely possible your company can monitor what you’re doing—or not doing—on your computer.

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larisa5656@reddit

Start writing your novel. It is almost November (aka NaNoWriMo).

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Number_169@reddit

If your company catches you, they may claim they own your novel, depending on your contract.

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larisa5656@reddit

Fair point. However, I'd be more concerned about my company even wanting to own my attempts at fanfiction and historical romance.

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punkwalrus@reddit

I did 40% of one of my novels at work.

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norriseph@reddit

Hope you get to 100% soon!

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punkwalrus@reddit

Oh, I did. And published it in 2015!

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NeutralGeneric@reddit

Jerking off. You’ll have fun and will definitely look busy.

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vntru@reddit

MSOutlookit looks like Outlook, but lets you browse Reddit.

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shain-7@reddit

No way! Would IT know if I’m on Reddit? It’s blocked at the moment

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BoredBSEE@reddit

Set up your cell phone as a mobile wifi hotspot. Connect your laptop to that.

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shain-7@reddit

Would that work? I have to connect to a work vpn anyway

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DangerousChampion235@reddit

IT knows everything.

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Polarbear605@reddit

Can confirm. But if asked nicely I’ll make an exception for your laptop :)

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shain-7@reddit

Yeah thought as much

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ShrimpSherbet@reddit

Holy shit dude

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nonnonplussed73@reddit

https://pcottle.github.io/MSOutlookit/

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CulturedClub@reddit

I love this!

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Potentialbusinesses@reddit

Masturbating.

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ProperPossibility@reddit

Assert dominance.

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vksdann@reddit

Constanza trick is to look angry and stressed, always grunt around and carry papers everywhere you go. Brisk walk whenever you go to the bathroom so it looks like you're in a time crush and need not to waste time.
People will think you're loaded with work and that's why you're always stressed and moving around so quickly.
You can have headphones and listen to audiobooks while pacing around. It will look like you're in a meeting and it worried about something.

Warning that it might be TOO effective and people will ask questions.

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English999@reddit

www.hackertyper.net

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Ambitious_Resist8907@reddit

One trick i learned from the red green show is to always look stressed out at work even if you aren't. Management won't mess around with you and oftentimes they'll even have others do your work for you.

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ShrimpSherbet@reddit

Costanza?

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Ambitious_Resist8907@reddit

I'm pretty sure red green talked about it first in one of their earlier seasons. They did a viewer questions segment, one of the ones was "how can you keep a job you're bad at", one of the characters (a guy known for making exaggerated stories) talked about how he worked as an astronaut for a few years despite not being familiar with the flight controls ("they were using an automatic transmission for the rockets but I was used to manual"), then the segment ended with harold saying 'hey, if you work in canadian television sometimes they won't notice if you're bad at your job' before looking at red and the audience laughing.

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punkwalrus@reddit

"Resting Bitch Face" accomplishes this well.

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Ambitious_Resist8907@reddit

I call it nakamura face, after the famous japanese wrestler.

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FML_Kgn@reddit

Army Tip: Carry a clipboard, look angry/upset, and move quickly

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ShrimpSherbet@reddit

The background bit is brilliant

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ShrimpSherbet@reddit

Learn to code

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willisfitnurbut@reddit

These criminal mind puzzles are great workplace boredom busters

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sevansup@reddit

There is a game called Melvor Idle available on PC, Mac, and smartphones that doesn’t look like a game and can be easily run in a tiny window. Pair it with one of those screen protectors on your phone that only lets your screen be visible from very specific angles and no one will ever know.

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No_Association4433@reddit

Semi-related: you can spend a full day doing nothing on a construction site. Walk around with a tape measure & notepad, every so often post up somewhere and like scowl at some casework for 45 minutes.

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False_Mushroom_8962@reddit

I used to wear a backpack with my laptop, snacks and tp. It's pretty easy to kill time once they're starting close in.

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hajisaurus@reddit

I went through a stretch like this, I did a lot of LinkedIn learning and khan academy courses to learn new stuff and keep sharp on others. Audiobooks are great if you can wear headphones.

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o-Tomato-@reddit (OP)

audiobooks is a great idea!

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HauntedDIRTYSouth@reddit

He who fights with monsters

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foresight310@reddit

Don’t forget Primal Hunter - Zogarth

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HauntedDIRTYSouth@reddit

This is probably going to be my next read or hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy.

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anagamanagement@reddit

DCC is a better book and better audio production, imo

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HauntedDIRTYSouth@reddit

Both are good. I finished HWFWM and on book 6 of Carl. The writing on Carl is more better (pun), but I prefer the story/world of Jason. To each their own mate. Both are a good listen, I recommend both.

Not an audiobook but a audio production, Marsfall, is great. It was my intro to audio story's a few years back. Check it out.

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SubstantialPressure3@reddit

Are there any certifications or training that your company offers or promotes?

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EmFiveBlue@reddit

This. There are lots of places that have free or low cost tutorials, webinars, etc.

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RRautamaa@reddit

Besides, webinars look like meetings. There are tons of free webinars. You might even learn transferable skills, which is important because it looks like you might have to soon do some transfering...

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Mindless_Pirat@reddit

But how to listen audiobooks and look busy when I sit at the computer?

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hajisaurus@reddit

Depends on your job, but for me I would open up a few programs we used for our work and click around to look like I’m doing something productive. I found that when I had the audiobook going I would be actively listening and my body language reflected that.

My work had lots of paperwork so getting up to file, fax or copy documents was a good way to fill the time.

If you tell me what you do for work, I can make more specific suggestions.

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Mindless_Pirat@reddit

I’m graphic designer I just do my task fast and then don’t know what to do with myself and don’t want to tell I finished all my work bc they would give me more and others designers don’t work that fast

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Sir_Vey0r@reddit

So do a few jobs from fiver or wherever. Build out your skills in the weak areas and make a little pocket change.

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hajisaurus@reddit

If that were me, I would record a stream your screen completing of the work, then replay it on your screen while listening to audiobooks.

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simongurfinkel@reddit

Take notes about what you are listening to.

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glavent@reddit

They have phone numbers you can call and listen to episodes of podcasts. Google and you’ll find some. Dial it up, and every few minutes just pretend you’re talking.

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Bama3003@reddit

I once walked around a power plant jobsite for 2 weeks with a pipe wrench on my shoulder while just waiting for my crane to arrive.

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sligowind@reddit

I started a business and did $900k of revenue before I resigned. Was taking orders from my cell phone at my 9-5

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susanrez@reddit

Work in your novel. Put timeline and plot arcs on spreadsheets. Put character development on spreadsheets.

Hell put story ideas on sheets.

Then start writing in Word.

You’ll look so intensely busy no one will bother you

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loyalwolf186@reddit

I work with excel a lot at work.

Sometimes when I'm bored I run financial projections for my personal finances

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NHS90710@reddit

Take a screen capture of your inbox. Put in on a PPT slideshow (with two slides). The second slide is the same as the first. Now go back to the first and “rehears timing” of the presentation and now you can take a 16 minute poopie break and your screen won’t go black in 11 minutes like usual.

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thatcleverchick@reddit

I do stuff for my home life, like make doctors appointments, do the budget, and set up my curbside grocery orders. It looks like I'm working, but I'm buying myself free time later

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Frankthabunny@reddit

I always walk around with a pen and paper in my hand if I want to pretend to be busy. The pen and paper can be substituted for various things like a set of keys or a phone. If I want to look busy when I’m sitting at a desk I stare at the screen with an intense look on my face and move my mouse around. During meetings I like to interrupt the meeting by getting up and walking to the bathroom.

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krlooss@reddit

You should do macro data refinement

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PRODIVI3@reddit

Please try to like each task equally. Thank you Kier for your wisdom.

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HitDerem2115@reddit

The work is mysterious and important

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DifficultCurrent7@reddit

I have 2 Jobs in the same building and honestly the first one I'm usually walking around looking very busy doing fuck all for 2 hours. The key is to look very busy. I've usually got some pile of laundry in my arms or a cleaning bottle. Of course your job is different but get a notebook and a pen and look like you're working.

Are puzzle books, books, coloring in books allowable or do you think that be too obvious ?

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Seahawk_I_am_I_am@reddit

gif

r/UnexpectedSeinfeld

Learn from the Master.

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Formal_You6846@reddit

If you like to read, get ebooks and print them out. Put the printed version in a binder and enjoy.

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exackerly@reddit

I had a boring job in a really big building and I would take long walks. But if you’re going to do that, make sure you’re carrying something that looks work-related. A manila folder, or even just a sheet of paper.

I also had a pad of graph paper that was large enough to be used as a desk blotter. I could work out fun puzzles and then tear off the top sheet when I was done.

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maybeitstimetorun@reddit

I made a Google form and put it in a calendar reminder for when I get into work or a good time for it. In it it stuff I wanted to keep track of. I practiced writing daily. You can probably now make it auto generate a prompt. Then keep a disguised notebook or binder to keep your writing. Carry the tools with you when you leave. For a while I carried two computers and two cell phones. I should do that again.

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Yakker65@reddit

Can you do online classes …. Training classes? I used to play movies and audio books through Bluetooth headphones….

Get yourself a privacy screen that prevents others from seeing what’s on your screen unless you’re in direct line of it.

I’d ‘read’ a technical manual in one window, and have the real book I was reading in another one. Just keep your mouse over the one you’re supposed to be reading to quickly switch it.

There are also quick keys built into windows to swap to false screens. I don’t know what they are anymore. It’s been a few years. lol

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WaffleHouseSloot@reddit

Isn't it Alt + Tab?

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last12letUdown@reddit

My favorite thing to do is make funny things on Canva. I’m currently working on “least Best Employee Award” certificates.

The “Half-Assed Award” goes to Will for always using the absolute minimum effort and expecting everyone else to compensate for it.

It’s fun!

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punkwalrus@reddit

I knew a guy with a USB foot pedal that when he took his foot off of it, it maximized a spreadsheet report over everything else.

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PR0Human@reddit

Lol, have seen this but with a movement sensor. As soone as someone came unto the office (and had view on the screen) a pre-set group of screens opened.

Combined with a shortcut in powertools for example easy peasy.

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Sensitive_Pickle_625@reddit

This is tier 1 work avoidance, holy shit.

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punkwalrus@reddit

They are still available on Amazon starting at $15

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PR0Human@reddit

A good sidenote-tip:
to give appearance of being busy is trading tasks. Always respond to a 'Hey, could you help me with...' with a 'I could but I'm a bit swamped, could you maybe do this for me then'. Another tactic is to make it seem like their asking really something of you but to help thém you'll step up and work some extra. Give the body language you are thinking of a way to fix it and you "should decline" but accept anyway with a personally directed smile.

Find a nice balance between the two.

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MacintoshEddie@reddit

It's called professional development. Start calling it PD instead of wasting time and you're on the fast track to promotion.

There's an absolute buttload of courses on sites like skillsoft, and often they're officially endorsed by your company. Or another major company.

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Mindless_Pirat@reddit

From me I can give you this: - talk with chat gtp/gemini on topics you are interested in. In most office work using chat gtp looks like work. Don’t ever use this on you company profile. The manager of it can read all your conversations - I’m graphic designer I done lots of personal/freelance work at my 9-5 - reading books in pdf in my previous work I have been reading a new book weekly just in case you can open in doc file and name it with smth related to you work

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Significant_Pea_2852@reddit

Write a novel. Write it in Word but don't save it then email it to yourself via your personal email.

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No_Educator_6376@reddit

Walk around carrying a clipboard and nobody will bother you they will think you are doing something important

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RegurgitatedOwlJuice@reddit

I used to carry a clipboard purposefully to the elevator. Ride down to the carpark, dump the clipboard, grab my gym bag, walk across the carpark and up the elevator to the gym (not owned by the company). Clipboards demonstrate power and purpose.

Just like during lockdown you could do whatever the fuck you wanted if you carried a clipboard and wore a hi-viz jacket.

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DietCoke_repeat@reddit

I organized 4 Gigs of downloaded MP3s in an Excel spreadsheet. I wore one Bluetooth ear bud, so I could still hear people around me.

I killed over 60 hours on the clock and my beautiful collection has no duplicates, perfect titles, and is categorized by year, genre, and a bunch of other stuff.

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DateGold@reddit

Nobody tell this guy about Spotify

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DietCoke_repeat@reddit

This was pre Spotify. Napster started it all.

And it was all free.

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MenacingMelons@reddit

Holy moly you just dragged me back to the Napster days and the trauma that is pirated music titles 😭

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DietCoke_repeat@reddit

Right? 🤣 All those brackets and like...commas? WTAF? 🤣

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Convenientjellybean@reddit

Anyways carry a piece of paper around with you 😉

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ukuleles1337@reddit

Oldschool runescape. Awesome mobile client - thousands of hours of fun

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awolflikeme@reddit

I used to convert books into HTML and then put that into coding software so it just looks like a bunch of code to eole that don't know code and then read for hours.

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calmtigers@reddit

Kinda sounds like you might get fired. Might just want to start applying for jobs

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shootingstare@reddit

I used to work on researching and writing articles for extra money. I never submitted them anywhere but it was fun pretending to earn money while earning money.

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GarrettOneEye@reddit

Classic text adventure games - back to your childhood. Or my childhood apparently as even people my age dont seem to know what they are.

But yes, entire days spent like this, and to any passerby it looks like im the hardest damn worker in the place.

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KidneyIssues247@reddit

Write a novel in your email account

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Standard_Ability8950@reddit

I read books on libby.app! Just need a library card & it’s free

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jeff_ewing@reddit

I once worked in an office where "Social Media, including Reddit" was banned. What I did was download Lynx (https://lynx.invisible-island.net) -- it's a text based browser and hence looks like a very "developer-y" command line box. It takes a little getting used to, but give it a whirl.

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tinylittlefoxes@reddit

I configured my online Kindle to look like a Word doc and could close it out with a click of the mouse. One year I read over 200 books.

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idotoomuchstuff@reddit

Always leave a jacket on the back of your chair. Whenever you leave your desk always carry a notebook

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TheCthaehTree@reddit

Monkeytype.com is kinda fun and looks like you’re working. I’m sure there’s some better options tho

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Annual_Government_80@reddit

Why not ask your boss for other projects then you won’t have to “look” busy

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marshmallowest@reddit

Points at sub name

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Annual_Government_80@reddit

I’m not sure what you mean by this

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bestgrapeinthepunnet@reddit

Free online courses? Like FutureLearn or something. Maybe not 'fun' but definitely interesting and could benefit you

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MitteeNZ@reddit

Transcribing!! I think familysearch.org needs people, and I know our national newspaper digitisation site always needs help correcting ocr!

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marshmallowest@reddit

I remember a couple years project Gutenberg kept me sane lol

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-AdamTheGreat-@reddit

gif

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Jumpy_Friend480@reddit

Share ridiculous ideas about how to increase (insert KPI’s important to company) back it up with AI Generated report, more details, charts and metrics as possible. Use marketing speak all the time with coworkers. Email to boss, copy their boss, ask for feedback. Debate feedback, agree with leadership but also contradict yourself, confuse the hell out of them.

Pull more coworkers into email thread, ask for their feedback, repeat.

Respond randomly. Invite half the people to Teams meetings when they have meeting conflicts. Wait for them to complain, reschedule and add other half when they are already booked.

This should take you an hour, with random follow up emails sporadically throughout the day.

People will leave you alone if you challenge them and make them think you’re a big idea guy.

Go back to playing Diablo or Reddit at work for 6.5 hours

You’re welcome

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wanderlust4247@reddit

If there is a glass enclosed meeting room, bring your laptop and call your mom or a friend so it looks like you're busy on an important call that requires privacy.

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Cuneus-Maximus@reddit

Always have spreadsheets and PowerPoints up. Walk around with a clipboard.

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titahigale@reddit

Walk around with your laptop as if you’re trying to find an empty meeting room for a teams call.

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Upstairs_Goal_9493@reddit

Dave, why do you have a clipboard? Get back on your computer and finish that SQL report.

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Technogky@reddit

You mean TPS? And don’t forget the cover sheet.

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o-Tomato-@reddit (OP)

thanks, yeah I saw this frequently suggested. I have a lot of things up on my monitors, but I guess I was looking for something to keep me entertained while not doing any work

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