What makes a good Sunday afternoon film?

Basically any variation on the script below, in grainy black and white: Cheeky cockney sailor, "Cor blimey, Chief! Jerry's giving us a right good bashing, I'll say!" Grumpy hard-bitten old Chief Petty Officer: "Don't worry about that, lad, keep them guns firing!" Keen-as-mustard Sub Lieutenant, "Bridge: Director. New target visual. Red four-zero. Range 12,000 yards." Officer of the Watch: \[Slews binoculars around to red four-zero.\] "Looks like the Scharnhorst, Sir!" Captain (on the bridge, because this was before Ops Rooms): Shift targets to Schnarnshort! Cool-as-ice gunnery officer: "All guns: Check, Check, Check! Shift target right. New target bearing red four five, tracking right. Range 11,000 yards closing. Engage!" Grumpy hard-bitten old Chief Petty Officer: "Aye, aye sir!. Red four five. 11,000 yards." Cheeky cockney sailor: \[bites lower lip in grim determination\] "This will teach 'im!"