Anon explains Coffee cheat code

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JacquisChan@reddit

Coffemaxxing in pursuit of shitmaxxing

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Bathhouse-Barry@reddit

How is this man doing anything besides shitting?

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Affectionate_Fan3017@reddit

Imagine being so poor, you can't afford energy drinks daily. Keep yourself safe anon

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some_guy554@reddit

I've heard that those cups during were the size of shots glasses.

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Try a "ristretto" in Italy. It is like less than a sip, but made so strong and concentrated that you will clench your asshole. If you get 50 of those a day your heart will join a union and strike indefinitely

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No_Vermicelliii@reddit

It's literally just an espresso with half the water.

Mix it with a tiny bit of milk to make a piccolo. The best possible coffee style

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Ahabs-Left-Leg@reddit

Accurate, although French and Italian espressos are hella concentrated. I seriously doubt that fifty shots a day is livable, let alone good for you.

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some_guy554@reddit

No these ones in particular were also watered down.

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Glonos@reddit

lol, you guys need stimulants, I actually need to depress my central nervous system to feel tired, otherwise I can go all day and night with just water.

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Ozymandias_1303@reddit

Voltaire supposedly drank that much coffee but I think the individual cups were much weaker.

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Nand-Monad-Nor@reddit

Net negative. Can't stand bitter coffee, so I either fill it up with sugar, milk, or both. But then need to spend time shitting it out, as my weak stomach doesn't like when I suggest it do something as egregious as "digesting". Which sucks because I really love coffee with milk and sugar, would give all other foods and drinks for it.

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CruisingandBoozing@reddit

If your coffee tastes bitter, it’s not good coffee.

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PhD_in_MEMES@reddit

Get less bitter beans? Burnt to shit coffee in most shops is absolute ass. Get the water to the right temp and do a french press or pour over. Fuck the machines. You're extracting caffeine from a bean. It's not hard. Medium to light roasts only. Burnt beans are used to upsell milk and sugar while maintaining consistency between locations. Coffee chains are a joke.

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twofacetoo@reddit

I was going to say, when it takes that much fucking work just to make a single drink, is it really worth it? I don't drink coffee because I can't stand the taste, and I cope fine with waking up early and working long shifts.

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The_Freshmaker@reddit

my morning cup takes only a couple of minutes tops. At work we have a machine that makes espresso shots, literally just push a button and add ice and a bit of water.

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PhD_in_MEMES@reddit

Grind, heat, pour. You can even just dump the shit in a small pot on the stove and make it turkish if you wanna be extra lazy. Can even be less effort than tea. You dont even need to get rid of the grounds lol.

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The_Freshmaker@reddit

better coffee and methods, put it on ice, water it down a bit. I drink my coffee like I drink my whiskey: two shots on ice, about half and half with water.

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Live_Ad2055@reddit

Based. Fuck coffee, room-temperature vodka is better and doesn't give me a fuck of a headache 3 hours later

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Pitiful_Special_8745@reddit

Weak. Drink it like a man

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Rambozo77@reddit

With red bull?

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JosefSwollin@reddit

Pussy

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TwistedBamboozler@reddit

Try a lighter roast with less acidity. Maybe it’ll upset your stomach a tad less

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droogvertical@reddit

A highly overlooked part of coffee drinking is the coffee cup. There is nothing worse than a coffee cup that cools your coffee down too quickly, what a nightmare. Sipping that lukewarm coffee, euch, disgusting.

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The_Freshmaker@reddit

pshhh I literally have my espresso shots go straight on ice, preserves the flavor perfectly

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quasarfern@reddit

I always chill my coffee. Usually with cold milk, but I’ll use cold water if I must.

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The_Freshmaker@reddit

how big was a cup back then tho?

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Automatic_Humor_8167@reddit

coffee is drugs for pussies

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CeleryFalse5000@reddit

What's wrong with pussies.

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IrregularrAF@reddit

this man pussy stay juiced 👅

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hypernormalcy@reddit

😳😳

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jericho-dingle@reddit

Coffee and a joint: the hippie speed ball

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positivelypolitical@reddit

One of the best ways to start your day

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Sub__Finem@reddit

And have it go absolutely off the fucking rails 😎

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positivelypolitical@reddit

In a good way, though ;)

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Sub__Finem@reddit

And have it go absolutely off the fucking rails 😎

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FartFlavoredLollipop@reddit

Just get some meth like a responsible adult, sheesh.

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shvr_in_etrnl_drknss@reddit

Those Frenchmen fueled their prolific writing lives with 50 cups of coffee a day

Makes a reference to Honore de Balzac and fails to mention he probably died of this same thing

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Kingofcheeses@reddit

Honoré de Ballsack amirite

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shvr_in_etrnl_drknss@reddit

Honored Ballsack

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Wimi_Bussard@reddit

Black coffee is healthy - for most people, in healthy amounts and if it does not affect your sleep. (Red) wine and beer is also healthy - if you remove the alcohol. Beer contains a not insignificant amount of calories, though, so don't drink too much.

50 cups - assuming it's a standard 250 mL cup - translates to 12,5 L in total. A normal adult working a boring office job should drink about 1-2 L of water a day.

I assume that anon lies.

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thermitethrowaway@reddit

Coffee is alright, not great, not terrible.

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KillahHills10304@reddit

I have an image of the OP in my mind, and it is a very thin, twitchy guy with wire straight hair, a weak jawline, and poor posture.

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SpezJailbaitMod@reddit

What's the one sketch comedy with Paul giamatti drinking mad coffee?

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TacticalSpackle@reddit

50 cups? Damn Arabs in the 16th that invented coffee (and algebra, astronomy, and a host of other shit we don’t thank them for) would drink 3 cups.

All that sand dweller shit besides, we’re reading both of these websites in English, not fucking frog. “Prolific writing” my ass.

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MAXIMUS-BLACK@reddit

First mention of coffee was from a Persian physician. Coffee was imported from Ethiopia. A ban was issued by a theological court in Mecca, but was overturned by the Ottoman Turkish sultan.

Astronomy wasn’t invented by Arabs, what a ludicrous notion.

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Live_Ad2055@reddit

Fuck coffee in the ass. Seriously. I had a midterm today and I spent like 4 hours rushing and guzzling caffeine because I am the laziest statistics student and even though the test went way better than I expected I was miserable on the way home because the fucking caffeine fucked my head. Massive headache. I could chug a bottle of vodka and feel infinitely better the next morning than four hours after having 3 cups of coffee. Fuck this shit, I'll smoke like I'm french and drink like I'm Russian and the fucking COFFEE is what gets me, you caffeine-tards are crazy

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Step 2. Gain super powers

Step 3. Shit blood until we die.

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50 cups