guess my job
Posted by jadaddy3@reddit | shittyfoodporn | View on Reddit | 352 comments

pita, labneh, and tinned sardines
Posted by jadaddy3@reddit | shittyfoodporn | View on Reddit | 352 comments
pita, labneh, and tinned sardines
tippinnn@reddit
R.E.I.
jagreer2@reddit
Alley cat
boccolatebipbookies@reddit
Dumpster diver?
KYcouple1234567890@reddit
Munitions worker in blitz era London.
MrCupCakeSniper@reddit
College student
New_Physics_7855@reddit
Hospitality or retail. Leaning towards hospitality.
TheLearningCooky@reddit
Full time runescaper
Sorry_Put1232@reddit
I'm getting serial killer vibes from the sardines.
jabroni_kc@reddit
Glory hole attendant
RedddLeddd@reddit
Toilet paper reviewer?
RepresentativeLate63@reddit
fine dining chef
Even-Reveal-6262@reddit
Chef
_metamax_@reddit
Well it ain’t kissing the ladies.
Mechanical_Monk@reddit
It's ok he'll smoke a cigarette when he's done to cover up the fish smell
Icy_Put_9773@reddit
Starving
RobbyWasaby@reddit
Executive chef at a high-end restaurant.... looks like dinner to me
WJSpade@reddit
A geologist.
BabDoesNothing@reddit
You eat just like my husband and he’s military lol
Legitimate_Door_627@reddit
Unemployed
TopDress7853@reddit
nice vinegar. black water bottle. best brand of labneh. you a cook
Proof_Yak_9737@reddit
Porn star?
Better_North3957@reddit
Bar tender
blooberries24@reddit
Bread, cheese, and old fish. You’re a raccoon
tunachilimac@reddit
Chef or some back of house restaurant position
__Vyce@reddit
The only thing betraying that is the waterbottle. Unless that's used for other drinks
ChampionshipIll3675@reddit
Nah. You gotta hydrate while in front of the hot grill. At the end of the night is time for the drinks
nuts4sale@reddit
That’s probably full of vodka, fits with the chef
EnkiduTheGreat@reddit
Have a chef buddy who used to put in 90+ hours/wk, and get 100% of his calories from either fountain soda or vodka, for several days at a time. Not sure if he ever went a full week like that, but I wouldn't be surprised.
No_Sir_6649@reddit
No energy drinks?
EnkiduTheGreat@reddit
Nope. Just Barq's root beer in a qt to go container with tons of ice and two straws. Then Ketel from the bottle after 8 or 9.
No_Sir_6649@reddit
Ketel? Fancy fuck.
I was coke, palmers, water guy. Weed before work and maybe a pitcher after.
--Wizard@reddit
It’s damn near blasphemous to claim the mighty, dare I say, omnipotent title of chef/cook, and also only reference ingesting coke solely in the form of a soft drink.
paraworldblue@reddit
That stereotype is way less accurate than people think. Maybe in the 70s when coke was cheap and so was rent, but nowadays cooks don't make nearly enough money to have coke habits. Don't get me wrong, I still do it sometimes if I'm out having fun, but as a way to get through a shift, absolutely not. Now adderall on the other hand...
ormr_inn_langi@reddit
I don’t get it. Why do people romanticise that?
DezPispenser@reddit
they don't, it's a drug. drugs feel good. it's really that simple.
ormr_inn_langi@reddit
I mean the degenerate world of restaurant work.
DezPispenser@reddit
because the work is grueling and stressful as fuck, and drugs make it much, much easier to cope with that stress. it's not the cooking as much as it is dealing with the people, and the high stress of giant orders and having to multi task between so much, as well as being constantly understaffed and overwhelmed.
ormr_inn_langi@reddit
I didn't ask why drug abuse is rampant in the industry, I asked why people romanticise it.
DezPispenser@reddit
which is why i just told you it's not really romanticized, that is the reality of the industry. it's a stereotype, and sometimes stereotypes are true. obviously not every cook is going to be doing drugs, but the rate is much higher than just about every other job, other than some like construction. if you want to think about something being romanticized then think about finance. that's what actual romanticizing looks like. you basically answered your own question, it's talked about because it actually happens. like you said, it's rampant in the industry.
ormr_inn_langi@reddit
Many of the comments in this thread are romanticising it, though, talking about it implicitly like it's a badge of honour, something funny, a rite of passage, whatever.
Fit_Carpet_364@reddit
It's a relatively healthy way of being in denial about a drug/alcohol addiction; it builds community to talk about shared problems; people would rather sound like they're upbeat about their problems than like they are complaining.
ormr_inn_langi@reddit
Yikes, that’s a lot to unpack
Fit_Carpet_364@reddit
Honestly, yeah. But just like laughter is a defense mechanism, you might find people who seem to be competing about the craziest drunken exploit in an AA meeting. Really the laughter is to disguise the shame.
No_Sir_6649@reddit
Ehh.. if im pulled in a bathroom i partake. Only stims i do is coffee. Coke is basically water and sugar once the ice melts and im reminded to drink.
--Wizard@reddit
Lmfao I stopped listening when I read “if I’m pulled in the bathroom I partake, but the only stims I do is coffee”
No_Sir_6649@reddit
I dont ski. Sometimes a bump. Not at work.
HamHockShortDock@reddit
They're gonna get scurvy
dirtymike401@reddit
Little lime juice and you're set.
ricecake_sandwich@reddit
8 or 9 AM, right?
__Vyce@reddit
Oh, now everything fits
sailorsardonyx@reddit
Came to say the same. In my experience the only thing chefs and sous chefs like more than coke is fancy tinned fish
PlutoJones42@reddit
Yup looks like a regular 1 AM dinner after close
xXx_ozone_xXx@reddit
Sleepy stoner closer dinner
scraglor@reddit
Bonus points for sitting on a milk crate or a upside down bucket
Dorkinfo@reddit
Bucket?! You sit on that crate and be happy we gave you a five after the rush that included waffle butt.
Seriously, though, my last restaurant job, we sat on the rim of kegs. So very uncomfortable, which was the point.
scraglor@reddit
It was always those massive white buckets of feta and stuff where I worked. Like 20 litre of some random ingredient. Talking shit with a pint on the stainless kitchen bench
Meatwit@reddit
Chief seagull at the local rubbish repository
WuQianNian@reddit
Brutal
LangdonAlg3r@reddit
They did say chief seagull though. That involves hard work and multiple promotions!
Funkeydote@reddit
Or maybe they just established a pecking order from the beginning.
liamwayne1998@reddit
🤣🤣🤣🤣😩
jzzanthapuss@reddit
I just snorted at work omg I hope my boss didn't hear me
Cold_Database4679@reddit
I’m fucking crying laughing at work rn
imreallyreallyhungry@reddit
I was gonna say top pig but chief seagull is good
MalevolentRhinoceros@reddit
Street cat.
spirits_and_art@reddit
This made me lol so hard
SirStocksAlott@reddit
I don’t have my glasses on and couldn’t really read the lol and was really confused.
dixmcgee69@reddit
Incredible
Due_Art2971@reddit
This guy isn't a chief anything
Baron-Von-Mothman@reddit
You are a god amongst mortals
Ok-Use-9097@reddit
Yes
FluffiestMonkey@reddit
Amazing
Yonv_Bear@reddit
saw the white water pitchers and food haphazardly set out and thought nurse/hospital staff but those counters are way too fancy to be the rolling desk of a DoN so idk. Chef of some kind maybe?
senpaimitsuji@reddit
Thought that was a package of butter. Labneh is much tastier lol
Signus_TheWizard@reddit
Food stamps
Pappers101@reddit
Amazon lol
riggenmordy@reddit
BOH for sure
Left-coastal@reddit
Terrorist
No_Lavishness3974@reddit
Personal trainer
SirCharlieTraplin@reddit
Homeless.
TheSnoFarmer@reddit
Smelling horrible
Top-Comfortable-4789@reddit
Blue collar, maybe construction or electrical.
Alissan_Web@reddit
well? >:( wut is?
Professional-Cap9599@reddit
Human personification of depression?
LickyBoy@reddit
My divorce attorney.
MabKaterberiansky@reddit
Line cook
EsotericCrawlSpace@reddit
Living in witness protection alone by the ocean.
coldwatereater@reddit
I don’t know what you are but that’s my favorite go-to snack as well only I use garlic triscuits.
hikmaet@reddit
Male prostitute
paraworldblue@reddit
Line cook. When you spend all day making food for other people, this is the exact kinda shit you come up with for yourself at 3am when you're drunk in your apartment.
SaebraK@reddit
Professional Paint Peeling Fartologist?
SubstantialAnt7735@reddit
You call old people and pretend to be Microsoft
gsinadinos@reddit
Pant shidder?
lawinabox@reddit
Line cook
pilofication@reddit
oil rig perhaps?
mothzilla@reddit
Dentist.
Uchihagod53@reddit
Coal miner
Sproose_Moose@reddit
Fast_Cod1883@reddit
Pop I have the black lung. Cough cough
Sproose_Moose@reddit
CrustyToeLover@reddit
Professional nuisance
DaveKillSock@reddit
Fart maker?
Prestigious_now_6367@reddit
Floor installation
Lucky_Louch@reddit
hobo?
kyle__hinaba@reddit
In all honesty, that looks like a good lunch
Sanchezzy123@reddit
Mouth wash tester
shadynomike@reddit
Ship worker
Shot-Ad-7356@reddit
One that pays little?
urbancowgirl1987@reddit
This looks like a Chef’s meal
OverthinkingWanderer@reddit
Your a chef at the end of your day
bukari23@reddit
Fisher man
lvl_78_vulpix@reddit
Depression
SnooBeans1970@reddit
You’re a British Hispanic Jew?
chrawniclytired@reddit
Toilet stress tester?
AshleyisaPeach@reddit
Personal Chef
UnscrupulousTop@reddit
Spa ruiner?
ImpressiveDebt@reddit
Walmart bc my boyfriend used to do the same lmfao
Due_Fault8864@reddit
Fluffer
Critical-Chemist-860@reddit
Drywall finisher
BusterCherry412@reddit
Unemployed
JerryNotTom@reddit
Sardine taste tester
Beemo-Noir@reddit
Homelessness
Legitimate_Zone1449@reddit
Starving Asian artist 😆 I have an Asian friend that's going back to school, dabbles in photography & she's been trying to get her Art going for awhile. She takes pictures of her lunch that looks like this. Love her! 😆♥️
Hotb1gdookie@reddit
Burglar
Tiaradactyl_DaWizard@reddit
Bartender
PappaWoodies@reddit
Breath analysis cavie for a breathe mint company.
jack-whitman@reddit
Cook
runaumok@reddit
No
Sea_Structure_8692@reddit
Crime scene cleaner
spookydooky69420@reddit
Porn cinematographer
BIGD0RK@reddit
Live in son?
juicedestroyer@reddit
fish wife
Madrigal_King@reddit
Unemployed
PCguy99@reddit
Professional toilet sitter
GlennDoom82@reddit
Longshoreman
Dustycartridge@reddit
Professional Turk
DreadyKruger@reddit
Alley cat?
brokeboyrich@reddit
Toilet paper salesman
koiosd@reddit
Line cook from Bushwick
pipecleaner6969@reddit
Dog walker
Distinct_One_6919@reddit
But canned sardines are not shitty plenty of good recipes with them
anothergirl22@reddit
You’re a doctor
boojombi451@reddit
Chef.
yourroyalhotmess@reddit
Are you a doctor?
overactivemango@reddit
Fishing rod
DeaditeQueen@reddit
You induce heartburn to test new pharmaceuticals
Safe-Pilot7238@reddit
Line cook
mathra77@reddit
A chef mom grabbing a survival snack
Expedition20@reddit
As a BOH line cook gotta say you’re one of us. That looks like you got off and said “fuck it it’s 1:30am and I’ve gotta eat before my 6am open”
Over-Body-8323@reddit
Elementary school teacher
AnorXicLigament@reddit
Hostage?
moader@reddit
You don't have a job
troveofcatastrophe@reddit
Lineman
AquietRive@reddit
Depression
suckingonmyhevos@reddit
Chef lol
JimmyBallocks@reddit
Fluffer
1001og@reddit
Machinist
GrundalWizzard@reddit
You eat like i did when I worked in fine dining
Recent_Plankton8604@reddit
hotel custodian
AwesomeHorses@reddit
I really don’t know
camdalfthegreat@reddit
There is honestly nothing gross about this meal.
It's fish, oil, dairy, and grain. Quite well rounded.
Few-Split-3026@reddit
Chef
qcerrillo13@reddit
Toilet tester
Typical_Channel_7547@reddit
professional diarrhea haver
Cookies4Cream-@reddit
Construction worker
thisismerr@reddit
Unemployed
RealSnickeldoomper@reddit
Internet stalker?
struggle_better@reddit
Coke head
warmpita@reddit
You can just say chef.
struggle_better@reddit
Two empty Britas? Get your shit together mate
likesattention@reddit
lmaoo this comment. perfect username as well 🤣
PureYouth@reddit
Lmaaaooooooooooo
struggle_better@reddit
Also, that sounds delicious. 1/10 for presentation
specifickindness@reddit
That's just part of the job description in being a chef
Tronkfool@reddit
Serial killer?
masterchiefkb100@reddit
Mason
Itsnotsponge@reddit
Heart burn haver
xXx_ozone_xXx@reddit
Dishwasher
RunDatTrain@reddit
Prisoner
thatscool52@reddit
Chef for sure
tyrant_goose@reddit
Hoping not an operator at a kissing booth
StinkyDogsCunt@reddit
You should cross post this to that weird owala sub where they all post their bottles and talk about the colours they are.
snaccattac@reddit
This guy chefs. This is absolutely post-service dinner at 1am.
Also, LEBNEH AND BALSAMIC? Dead giveaway.
StrainAcceptable@reddit
And the cola on the side.
snaccattac@reddit
My favorite is the empty plate just out of frame as if the attempt was made
StrainAcceptable@reddit
It’s not quite empty. Nothing like sardines and coke.
Sacktimus_Prime@reddit
Yep, the ingredients are for a refined palette, but one that is absolutely not cooking anything.
StaceyPfan@reddit
*palate
StrainAcceptable@reddit
I’m going with trust fund kid who can’t get ahold of his assistant to order door dash for them.
snaccattac@reddit
As a fellow food service industry employee, I feel this in my bones. 😂
Spiralecho@reddit
1000% I just want to feel something
skaterat456@reddit
Influencer
No_Art_1977@reddit
Nurse
LonnieJaw748@reddit
I think I see a classy bottle of balsamico do Modena, so I’m gonna guess you’re a sous chef, since you have enough money for nice vinegar but not enough time for actual grocery shopping.
voidhearts@reddit
Bro your eyes are unreal. Nice catch!
LonnieJaw748@reddit
Thanks! It helps that I’m a former service industry guy of 25 years.
star_fish01@reddit
Chef
Sivleto@reddit
Something at Amazon, probably.
DisturbedDollFace@reddit
Are you a teacher? Because this is pretty much what one of my history teachers in high school ate every day 😂. Huge thermos of black coffee, cans of sardines, and occasionally chips.
TheAurigauh@reddit
Construction
houseWithoutSpoons@reddit
Chef at some 5* joint Gets home eats absolute terrible
FieldOfFox@reddit
"Boat full of men all day"
australianquiche@reddit
Alley cat
Lucky_Grapefruit_274@reddit
Ex-Lebanese, part-time trader, full-time Soviet inmate – specializing in black-market pickles, canned herring and cold-war shenanigans.
Life-Garden3943@reddit
Professional biiiiiatch
R_A_H@reddit
Stay-at-home bachelor
Whywouldanyonedothat@reddit
Sprinkling your pubes on the urinals of any public bathroom I intend to use?
1-trickpony@reddit
Highly likely you are a full-time chef
Big-War-7218@reddit
Or a bar tender
Big-War-7218@reddit
Flight attendant
surfeitofreason@reddit
cat
Big-War-7218@reddit
Something on the plane
From_the_ashes_17@reddit
I would put money on you being a chef/ BOH
Expensive_Editor_244@reddit
curlyquinn02@reddit
IC nurse
Cosmin081@reddit
Budget-councious choose?
13_Thirteen@reddit
Chef
Snoo15789@reddit
Bottle washer
belaGJ@reddit
I am not saying I have never done anything similar…
Vegetable-Star-5833@reddit
Prisoner
Icy-Frosting8681@reddit
only fans clean up crew
ProudMary63@reddit
Wait staff at a restaurant
SockLoads@reddit
Professional farter
Stolos430@reddit
Homeless thief?
slavetomaryj@reddit
idk why but it’s screaming nanny??
SleepyRememberer@reddit
You're Arab 😁
Outside_Initial_8569@reddit
I love sardines with rice, kimchi, and an over easy egg. Yum yum!
haikusbot@reddit
I love sardines with
Rice, kimchi, and an over
Easy egg. Yum yum!
- Outside_Initial_8569
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^Learn more about me.
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
andre_allday@reddit
Construction
louielou8484@reddit
Chef. Where is the coke and vodka
Diligent_Ad_7582@reddit
Janitor??
chill_winston_@reddit
Depression… manager?
RetroRoxanne1970@reddit
Night shift
k0nehead@reddit
Chef lmao idk anyone else who would willing eat like this lmao
the_proudrebel@reddit
Lighthouse keeper
Withmmurderousintent@reddit
Night auditor
baljake@reddit
Mmm labneh and conservas. You sir are a professional distinguished gentleman.
Constant-Antelope243@reddit
Night shift nurse 💤
Holly1010Frey@reddit
I can't tell you why, but this does not seem to be health care. I'd be genuinely surprised. It does scream night shift something, though.
KGBeeMovie@reddit
That's how I ate when I was in healthcare, lol. Home after late shift, just eat some canned fish, standing in the kitchen, then shower and bed.
Baron-Von-Mothman@reddit
I don't see any cocaine so you can't be a cook lol
saurus-REXicon@reddit
Haha trick question, you don’t have one.
Salvia_Salamander@reddit
I was gonna go with dumpster diver
nevermindxo@reddit
Flight attendant
bilbul168@reddit
Speaking real close go people's faces
mutumbo4life@reddit
Homeless
LePetitVoluntaire@reddit
Chipotle
Mcn00ds@reddit
Youre a line cook for sure
geccles@reddit
Sailor
mybellasoul@reddit
You get my upvote but nah
Infoleptic@reddit
Bathroom attendant
Psychobabble0_0@reddit
Professional dumpster diver.
Specleogs@reddit
Fart maker
fuzzycaterpillar123@reddit
GearSuspicious5719@reddit
Chef or line cook
Beetso@reddit
Captain on one of those ice-breaking boats they use in the Arctic.
fresh_and_gritty@reddit
We have the same bottle but mines orange. 🍊
No_Sir_6649@reddit
Chef
jeffdujour@reddit
Chef de cuisine
SpeedBlitzX@reddit
Air traffic controller? I just thought of what in my opinion would be one of the most stressful jobs and went with it.
yumi365@reddit
Flight Attendant
Reasonable-Wing-2271@reddit
Bartender or Second-Shift Quality Assurance Manager for a zipper factory.
CorianderIsBad@reddit
Builder. You work on people's homes.
tealulu04@reddit
Some sort of restaurant industry
NegotiationCute5341@reddit
Ballet dancer
ideapit@reddit
Makes is mistakes.
wylekise@reddit
Alcoholic
TuvixWillNotBeMissed@reddit
Barn cat.
cjwi@reddit
Sommelier at a very fancy restaurant
meowskiAF@reddit
Hotel maid
Born2BeMild23@reddit
Nurse
IronFizt777@reddit
You work as a cat in an alley dumpster
UglybonesAlison@reddit
Dr
Talullah_Belle@reddit
Food scientist
Shoddy-Rip8259@reddit
Fluffer
amischbetschler@reddit
I just had to check if I was on r/kitchenconfidential
Top_Ad_5717@reddit
Chef
BruhMomento-24@reddit
Cream cheese tinned fish man
BLADE_OF_AlUR@reddit
This is the meal of a chef or line cook.
catlady_MD@reddit
SARDINES AND LEBNEH BRO?!?????? THE UTTER DISRESPECT
biggrigg667@reddit
You’re the fart man
Present-Editor-1202@reddit
Registered nurse
shootingdai@reddit
You sell farts
rexifelis@reddit
Captain for Exxon crude oil tanker
disthen@reddit
Lighthouse attendant
theRarestBiscotti@reddit
I don't think i wanna know lol
Illustrious_Sign_872@reddit
Flight attendant
originalkitten@reddit
Dancer
lizatethecigarettes@reddit
Overnight hospital administrator
oO0ft@reddit
Chef 100%
Grigori_the_Lemur@reddit
Sushi bar.
JeerzQD@reddit
Cell block 4 prison cook.
mratlas666@reddit
Depressed trice divorced dad without any custody rights?
kurtmanner@reddit
Some sort of nurse. Did I win?
Greedy_Group2251@reddit
Laborer. Probably Hispanic
Cryptoking90@reddit
Crack head?
NotDazedorConfused@reddit
Unemployed …
BRBInvestments@reddit
College student
The00Taco@reddit
Obviously a chef, but the lack of alcohol or blow makes me wonder
Hussein_Jane@reddit
You pass the butter
CookiesandContraband@reddit
Dumpster Diver
MyMomsTastyButthole@reddit
Abstract Fartist
Don_Mega86@reddit
Construction for sure. And you’re single, or your wife dose not love you🤣
kiki_rae@reddit
You work as a stew on a yacht or maybe a deckhand
BostonKansas@reddit
No
SteveH369@reddit
Stay at home dad
Maksilla@reddit
Depression aficionado?
Peachsprite72@reddit
You can get labneh in a tub??!!
DAABIGGESTBOI@reddit
Private chef for a Scandinavian esports player.
OrangeClyde@reddit
I would guess working in the kitchen as others have, this definitely seems like an I can’t be bothered to cook anything more even for myself meal lol
CyanicAssResidue@reddit
Full time Unemployed
tivvybrixx@reddit
Waterboy
Living-Metal-9698@reddit
A feral cat?
InsertRadnamehere@reddit
Medical field.
Ok_Oven_7901@reddit
the folded pita raw on the counter SCREAMS food service omg
Kiwi_Woz@reddit
Chef for sure
No_Monk_4477@reddit
Night security guard for the local pool
Sproose_Moose@reddit
What 😂
Sproose_Moose@reddit
Chef, sous chef or kitchen hand
Valturia@reddit
A janitor. I checked your profile.
macettaa@reddit
Restaurant chef
cerealkilla718@reddit
Sailor.
Old_Badger311@reddit
Gross food combination tester?
Holiday_Mushroom_540@reddit
Shit machine
Wurstb0t@reddit
Tough one, I’m in a hotel and also had sardines for dinner, but I have tortillas not a fancy pita, I’m a film worker.
JellyfitzDMT@reddit
Construction
third-knight@reddit
NEET
AshenHunter42@reddit
Dick sucker
Puppyzpawz@reddit
anyone else think that shine line in that fish container was a worm 😭
anyway, based. when me and my partner lived in hotels we ate sardines for lunch and 4 day only pizza for dinner for like 3 months. 10/10z
Whole_Sweet_Gherkins@reddit
chef
Criticalfluffs@reddit
Oil field
RogueLeslie@reddit
Firefighter
chrisp5000@reddit
Housekeeping
srslybutts1@reddit
sous chef
Scyllascum@reddit
More like /r/depressionmeals
uiouyug@reddit
Poop Inspector
yy98755@reddit
Heart attack specialist.
Swabbo@reddit
I'm guessing you get paid to fart on people and you get paid more the smellier they are
DummySchewpid@reddit
I don't know your title. I just know that you do whatever it takes.
I_might_be_weasel@reddit
A Japanese Messy Boy.
ACatWalksIntoABar@reddit
Despair factory
ClerklierBrush0@reddit
Drywall
AcousticOnomatopoeia@reddit
Executive chef in fine dining.
MAR5HMALLOWS@reddit
Concrete
NYC_Traveler_@reddit
Drug addict
BlueBlooper@reddit
Waiter/Cook at a medium to high-end restaurant
Automatic_Donkey_773@reddit
Hotel maid
thesirensoftitans@reddit
This is very similar to my go-to after a 14 hour shift when I was cheffing 20 years ago. It recently made a surprise appearance in Puerto Rico on a surf trip. Corn tortillas, tin o fishies, cholula, diced red onions, cilantro, and lime juice (avocado optional).
petsrulepeoplesuck@reddit
Doorman at ihop
fifiloveg00d@reddit
Chef/restaurant hospitality service industry
mrv_wants_xtra_cheez@reddit
You’re the Britta water pitcher filler dude!
CocoMic@reddit
Something medical or construction.