what would your parents do to you if you dared to swear or play up in public?

Posted by GuaranteeOdd1850@reddit | AskABrit | View on Reddit | 54 comments

i was with a mate last night and it was pretty amusing, we were on the metro in manchester yesterday and two kids were playing up throwing stuff around fucking about and swearing at there mother and i didnt take much notice until one of them kicked my bag and it was a weird moment where i instantly thought about my late mother who would literally took off her slipper and publically tanned my arse in front of everyone.. so i'm now watching the kids and there openly swearing and just playing up and my mate was gesturing to them his fist behind there mothers back which they found amusing and it weirdly calmed them down a little bit..

but yeah it just got me thinking would your parents have allowed you to play up or swear in public or in general? i've got memories of my older brother swearing and then bolting upstairs and my mother chasing him with whatever was in touching distance that would seemingly do damage lol

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oooohshinythingy@reddit

My mam would have slapped me daft if I’d done owt like that as a kid

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Azyall@reddit

I believe the words "damned good hiding" neatly sum up what would have been my parents' response (I was born in the '60s).

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dinkidoo7693@reddit

Lots of parents are tired nowadays, because lots of them are working full-time jobs for little pay and doing all the housework as-well as being parents.
It’s difficult to always stay present after a long day or week, especially if you are doing it alone.

I grew up in a different era, one wage could cover the bills, My mum didn’t have to work it was her choice and she chose not to as my dad’s income covered the bills.
There was also no mobile phones distracting them. Both of them were more present. So yeah, id have got publicly told off and probably made to apologise and no dessert.

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GuaranteeOdd1850@reddit (OP)

to an extent i agree my mother was retired but always working, she was pretty much everyones childminder after school a supply teacher, gymnastics coach you name it and it was just her.. but again i think like most you just learn the boundaries young and you cant complain if you decide to test them

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Midnightraven3@reddit

I have absolutely no idea what my parents would have done. I would never have thought to be a wee brat like that. Not because my parents were strict or I was afraid of them, just because I was brought up to know better.

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GuaranteeOdd1850@reddit (OP)

kind of the point, we all know better and some children are just angels.. i wasn't brought up in a strict household my mother was a retired teacher and i was out playing football half my childhood.. but young boys play up and especially when i was young the above is what i'd expect.. come secondary school i was double the size of her and things change..

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Midnightraven3@reddit

Perhaps me being an only child helped, no one to get into trouble with!

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Proud-Biscotti-6194@reddit

A slap on the back of the legs in public and a bar of soap in my mouth if we were at home.

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seven-cents@reddit

I would've been given the belt when we got home

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CmdrSpaceMonkey@reddit

I swore once when I was in front of my mum at my birthday and she physically washed my mouth out with soap.

I was shocked how strong and nimble she was. She clamped on like a vice and popped the bar in there. It tasted awful.

I haven’t sworn in front of her again since my 36th party.

Sorry mum.

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Jerico_Hill@reddit

I got my mouth washed out with fairly liquid once, I'll never ever forget the taste. I swore again a few years later and boy oh boy did I put up a fight. I think I was about 8 and I fought like a rabid animal. I remember at one point my Dad was trying to drag me into the kitchen and I had all 4 limbs braced against the door frame so he couldn't pull me past.

He eventually gave up and I only started swearing when my teenage brother got a a mega drive and the mortal combat game which promoted unending amounts of swearing when he lost.

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urban772@reddit

This took a wild turn 😂

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No_Button_9112@reddit

Smack

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BrokenDogToy@reddit

I wouldn't have got the abuse you did! A telling off and then if it happened again we'd leave and come home.

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GuaranteeOdd1850@reddit (OP)

i mean although i wasn't fond of the slipper i'd call abuse a stretch having said that i'd have agreed with you when it was happening.

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BrokenDogToy@reddit

I'm honestly struggling to work out how hitting a child with a slipper isn't physical abuse. It absolutely is seen as such by the NSPCC, social services etc nowadays - and it would be expected that this would be reported as a safeguarding concern!

(I know, it was a different time and assuming you're 40+ was the norm, so not blaming your parents)

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BedaFomm@reddit

This is why we have so many bratty kids.

“You can’t touch me, it’s abuse!” (But I’ll abuse you as much as I like!)

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bad_dancer236@reddit

I honestly think a lot of the issue is you can’t allow “smacking” as it’s hard to draw the line and some will take it too far. I was smacked as a kid, I absolutely wasn’t abused! My sister and I much preferred a quick smack than having treats withdrawn!

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GuaranteeOdd1850@reddit (OP)

there's alot of things that would be deemed abuse now and not back then.. it wasn't abuse because i didnt play up i suppose thats the point out of fear of what could happen.. and my memories of my mother aren't being chased with a slipper.. literally just crossed my mind in that moment where i was like.. its wild what kids get away with now. and im 35 haha

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Suspicious_Car5355@reddit

I’d be told to watch my mouth. And if it persisted the old slap round the back of the head always worked

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Jerico_Hill@reddit

Raised by my Dad who would've grabbed me by both wrists and slapped me round the back of the legs. Now if we were at home that would've been more like hit anywhere he could reach over and over till his arms got tired. I do not condone this approach.

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mynaneisjustguy@reddit

I mean, I was hit as a child, and almost every time I felt like I deserved it. Well, actually thinking about it, no. My old man would tan my arse with his massive hand if I was rude or mean to people or said anything bad about mum. My mum would tan my arse with wooden spoons or the sandal or a WEAPON because my brother and I were boisterous. She would also punish us in other ways to ease her frustration with boys being boys, and for things we didn't have any control over either like once the cistern started leaking in the toilet, so it needed a new rubber seal I know now, but at the time I was a kid and she couldn't fix it and stayed up late into the night messing with it, but wouldn't let me try to help but also wouldn't let me go to bed because I had obviously broken it.

I hope I am a better parent, she wasn't mean though just tired I think, she worked so hard so many hours to provide once my dad had passed and we sold the farm etc etc life is tough story but I really think she did her best, hard to look back many decades earlier and see the failings of people you care about.

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Jerico_Hill@reddit

I wish I could say I only got beat when I did wrong. I got beat if I was up at night for any reason, being sick or needing the loo - get beat. I wore glasses from when I was toddler, so naturally I accidentally broke them a few times and they were completely free to fix, still got beat.

I actually used to wait till he was talking to the neighbours to break bad news because then he'd have to act normal and I could scarper for the day and by the time I'd gotten back he would have forgotten about it.

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mynaneisjustguy@reddit

Yeah I was lucky I suppose that my old man was deffo a bit laid back (I was his youngest and he had many children, like at least double digits but I haven't met ALL his kids cause he travelled a lot around the world and wasn't afraid of talking to women) in his parenting but wasn't ever mean or violent, the man was a beast, he could have palmed my head the way the biggest NBA players do a basketball, it would not have gone well for me if he was violent, as I wrote I feel every assbeating he gave me I earned, but my ma was more vicious. I learned to never tell her anything cause it would go badly, when she was in the most stressed period of my growing up. I remember once I made her a cuppa tea and as I was carrying it I tripped a little on stairs and spilled it over my hand and the floor and I started crying, not because six year old me had burned themselves badly but because I knew there was gonna be repercussions when she found out I had spilled tea.

Many years later, years after I had left home at 15 and cut all contact to her, I found out she had hidden my austism diagnosis, again not out of malice but because where and when I grew up it would not have served me well to be treated like a R word (that was the thing at the time) and my neurosis made a lot more sense. I like to have things be as they are, I don't like change so I just always expected her to be angry or upset. I managed to talk to her about it a lot and regained my family and we are really happy now. It helped me a lot in dealing with other problems in life, that's for sure, I just wish I had learned these skills in a less painful way.

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GuaranteeOdd1850@reddit (OP)

the arms got tired part made me laugh and i shouldn't thankfully my mother was in her 60's when we were young so she got tired pretty quickly

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Jerico_Hill@reddit

Yeah, and if I was to ask him about it now he'd pretend that it wasn't that bad. Right Dad. Sure.

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GuaranteeOdd1850@reddit (OP)

" you turned out alright didnt you"

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Jerico_Hill@reddit

Spot on! Exactly what he would say.

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borokish@reddit

Yeh my mam would have delivered a beating to me, in public or not.

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Glittering_Sky4612@reddit

We would have got an ear warmer

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InkedDoll1@reddit

From August onwards, my mum would just say "ELVES" and fear of getting no Christmas presents would immediately stop me doing anything I shouldn't.

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CodenameJD@reddit

My younger brother swore one time, and my mum literally washed his mouth out with soap.

On the other hand, I was too much of a goody two shoes, I refused to whisper a swear word in an older kid's ear in order to join his "gang" (i.e. hang out with him and his friends).

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Open-Difference5534@reddit

Your mother would be arrested for hitting you with a slipper these days, using something hit a child is beyond 'reasonable chastisement'.

That is the root of the problem, some parents know they can't hit their children, yet have no tools to reinforce their discipline.

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terryjuicelawson@reddit

It is a terrible way to discipline anyway. OK it may shut up a loud toddler for a few minutes or a cheeky 9 year old acting up in public. As soon as the parents are out of sight or the kid gets old enough to stand up to them they can brush it off. And by then they also have learned how violence can get them what they want.

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GuaranteeOdd1850@reddit (OP)

your probably right, they'd have to prove it first but your point is still salient.

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thumbsucker-2@reddit

We were always threatened with the wooden spoon, I don’t ever remember being smacked with it but my god one mention of it & we were little angelic children 😂

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terryjuicelawson@reddit

I see it a lot more the other way round too, parents acting like shits and openly swearing around their kids, even at school drop off time. "Fucks SAKE Tyler, get over 'ere!" which is then prompty ignored, and the Mum goes back to her fag anyway.

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AnneKnightley@reddit

I wouldn’t have dared to swear at all at that age lol I was very much brought up being told it wasn’t allowed ever. If I did act up I’d get a stern telling off which did the trick.

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ConstantVigilant@reddit

A very stern telling off. My siblings and I were pretty well behaved though. We weren't punished for swearing if it was in exclamation such as "bloody hell".

A family famous example was my brother running into patio doors and shouting for our dad to come help. No one came running quick enough for 12 year old me so I shouted that he'd "...smashed his fucking head in!" which brought everyone at the bbq running. I suppose it wasn't exactly 'in public' as it was a family friend's house but I wasn't even given a talking to for that one.

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hdhddf@reddit

let me guess, the mum was on her phone and the kids were doing everything they could to get her attention

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thefilmforgeuk@reddit

When I was 6 I told my friend to F Off. literally that, didn’t say fuck. My grandmother dragged me up the stairs and washed my mouth out with soap like she had always threatened to do.

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LaurenNotABot@reddit

I wouldn’t have dared!

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Thinking10Thinking@reddit

My mum would give us the look if we played up out in public. That was usually enough for us to stop. We never swore in front of any of our elders due to respect.

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IcyPuffin@reddit

There is no way in the world my parents would allow me to act up like this. I dont think i even tried as I knew it wasnt worth it - while my parents were not averse to giving me a wallop 9b the behind, my dad had a bellow so deep and ferocious sounding that it would instantly stop you in your tracks.

I didnt want to hear that - he wasnt one to shout at you or anything but he knew how to reprimand you with one deep bellow. So I behaved in public.

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GuaranteeOdd1850@reddit (OP)

think its worth adding.. before people start to twist my words.. i found it quite funny that the kids were getting away with murder as i'd have been murdered for the same behaviour.. in no way would i have expected them to be punished like i would have been and again because of the fear of the slipper i'd never play up in public or swear - my mother was firm but fair if you dont play up you dont get hit.. and also she was from the era where youre teachers would hit you on the wrist with a ruler if you played up

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Peanut0151@reddit

My mam had a fearsome voice, though she never shouted. A word from her was usually enough and in this situation? well I wouldn't have dared

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Norman_debris@reddit

They wouldn't have allowed but I certainly wouldn't have been twatted with a shoe, just as I don't allow my kids to misbehave in public, but I don't rely on the threat of physical violence.

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GuaranteeOdd1850@reddit (OP)

Slipper, my mother would have never used a shoe.. flip flop maybe... my point of the post wasn't me saying i believe they should have been slapped.. we found it funny what im saying is when i was that age 30 years ago it just wouldn't have ran.

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Breakwaterbot@reddit

I never did either so honestly couldn't tell you. I guess that's a testament to how I was raised. Their approach was definitely more proactive than reactive.

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MsLuciferM@reddit

My Mum would have used her Mum voice and we would have behaved instantly. Dad would have used the Dad voice and we’d have behaved reluctantly.

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SamJones901@reddit

I would've been ashamed and also scared of my mom. She never hit me btw. I just knew it wasn't an acceptable behaviour in public.

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BG3restart@reddit

Honestly, I wouldn't have done it. I never swore in front of my mum, not once and just the threat of 'wait until your father gets home' was enough to keep me in check. My brother was the naughty one, but he was seven years older than me, so I never really witnessed him being naughty, but I think he got a slap more than once.

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Previous-Anteater888@reddit

Absolutely not! I really cannot stand bratty kids in public - essentially it’s not their fault, it’s the parent’s responsibility.

I babysat throughout high school, and worked as an au pair during uni. A few times the kids I worked with were bratty and wild when I started, but they soon realised I wouldn’t tolerate any nonsense - I never raised my voice once. So yeah I have to admit I’m pretty judge-y about it because it isn’t that hard - it’s habits and boundaries they learn at home. My parents were super liberal, but huge on manners and being well behaved in public. I guess it didn’t even occur to us to act sh*tty.

So annoying when you see little kids being terrible to their parents in public (particularly swearing - like what?!) - I have to resist the urge to make a sharp comment to snap them out of it.