Do you ask your brother or sister to come for a quick visit (like 30 minutes)?

Posted by Educational-Slip-578@reddit | AskAnAmerican | View on Reddit | 658 comments

Let's say you want to visit your sister’s house to say hi and maybe return a dish. Would you call before visiting, or is it culturally acceptable to just show up?

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BoysenberryUnhappy29@reddit

Unless you're like, neighbors with the person, there's basically no situation where showing up unannounced is fully culturally acceptable.

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kcmcca@reddit

Yeah, I’m going to have to disagree with this one. Growing up in Tennessee, we would stop by unannounced if we were in the neighborhood quite frequently. To this day, if it’s a family member’s house, I give a brief courtesy knock then enter without even waiting for a response. I would expect my siblings to do the same (though I live in another state).

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DerthOFdata@reddit

Before cell phones that's how the world worked. 90% of the time there was no call first.

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lacrimaldrainage@reddit

Yes and before houses, we lived outside. How is this comment helpful? LOL

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DerthOFdata@reddit

Did we live outside 15 years ago? Or was that in the ancient past where no one alive had any personal memories of that being true? The person I responded to made a comment only a young person would assume was universal. As anyone who didn't grow up with cell phones being ubiquitous didn't grow up with that being true.

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NecessaryPopular1@reddit

Before cell phones, there were dial-up phones. Except for my grandmother, who always had cake, coffee and tea available for surprise visitors, I grew up knowing that visitors should call first instead of showing up unannounced.

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DerthOFdata@reddit

That would be the 10%. But even then that only worked if you were starting from home. Especially since a lot of the time you didn't have their number or have it memorized or have access to phone book. Most of the time you went to someone house and knocked. Sometimes they would be there sometimes not. Sometimes people left notes or would leave whatever on the porch but calling every time was *not* the norm.

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NecessaryPopular1@reddit

I had all the numbers memorized! 😂 I was the family’s phone book, growing up.

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DerthOFdata@reddit

I doubt you remembered them all. You had your sister's best friend's parent number memorized. Or your cousin's boyfriend's number? Or your Mom's 3rd best friend's? Or you Dads boss's number?

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NecessaryPopular1@reddit

Oh you of little faith, I was the memory bank of the house. 1) My Dad was the boss; 2) All my Moms closest friends (3) I memorized the numbers; 3) My Sister’s best friend (1) I also memorized; 4) All my friends, project mates in school, closest cousins, uncles/aunts, I also memorized the numbers. I also created a household directory, generated on a Commodore 64 desktop, using Basic programming. I’ve always had very good memory — I’d be terribly worried if I lost my memory now or moving forward, though I know it might be inevitable, eventually.

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DerthOFdata@reddit

For fucks sake. Those weren't literal examples. Just examples of how varied connections in a family could be. You're right though I have NO faith that you memorized the hundreds of numbers your claim would require.

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Uhhyt231@reddit

This depends on so many factors

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BoysenberryUnhappy29@reddit

Not really, unless you're specific a part of some subculture that normalizes it. I know I have friends that, if I showed up unannounced, they'd certainly let me in - but it would still be *hugely* unusual and seen as weird. People don't even like to call before texting first to confirm, showing up unannounced is a whole extra layer of inconvenience.

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Uhhyt231@reddit

Yeah this is just dependent on your dynamic and upbringing. I’ve never heard of needing to text before a call

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nomyar@reddit

Almost everyone I know these days prefers a text before a call, partially because you might be able to just handle it as a text. This is both personal and work. The vast majority of people I interact with do not want to talk on the phone if they can avoid it. The only people I can say this isn't true for are my sister and my grandma, who love talking on the phone for hours at a time.

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Uhhyt231@reddit

This is crazy to me😭 And I hate talking on the phone

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Icy-Yellow3514@reddit

Right? I just send them to voicemail if I can't or don't want to talk.

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SKULLDIVERGURL@reddit

Agree to disagree. I think it may be generational. Younger people are not ok with this but I think lots of over 50s are and for sure family can pop in.

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edman007@reddit

I think it depends a lot on how close you physically live. When I grew up, my grandma lived a block away, when you're that close, coming over every day might be fine, and in that case, unannounced might be fine. You effectively live together, you don't expect a roommate to call before coming home, same would go for people that live nearby. They come on a schedule, so they don't really need to be announced. The only difference between living together and that situation is their bed isn't in the same building. I remember my grandma coming over every weekend and maybe weekdays, sometimes announced, sometimes not. But given it's a 5minute walk, leaving 30min later would be acceptable. Now my sister lives 4 hours away, we plan it weeks out, because it has to be an overnight trip. They can't show up on a day I have a dentist appointment, I won't see them, and they'll spend 8 hours driving.

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Frosty_Helicopter730@reddit

You just make me think about it! (Oh no! Lol!) I would have said, yes, absolutely, as a current adult over 45, I remember popping in on people with my mom as a kid and I remember people popping over to our house. But thinking again, I remember my mom being so irritated when my aunt and uncles came when she was trying to get my brother to nap, make dinner, shower, or needed to leave in 5 minutes to pick one of us up (my family WILL miss all cues and direct requests and make you late), or felt like she was expected to entertain at a moment's notice after working all day. Her own sister, who is her best friend, always called first. And, as various family members aged, I remember we checked to make sure we wouldn't interrupt their nap or whatever. And now, my parents are in their mid-70s. They are actually very healthy, but my dad's mobility issues make it all the more important to respect their schedules and give them time to get ready for people. So, I feel like we did it because it was acceptable, and in some cases unavoidable, but nobody actually liked it that much and it was inconvenient.

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FireFoxTrashPanda@reddit

I think you really hit the nail on the head here. I don't really remember ever showing up unannounced anywhere but I do remember people doing it to us and it being a massive inconvenience. I think the big difference nowadays is that if you find yourself in the neighborhood of someone you'd like to drop in on, you can call or text them.

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nomyar@reddit

I think it's far more complicated than a generational thing. It's probably a lot more common / accepted to just drop in in the Midwest and North Central states, and far less so the closer you get to the ocean. There are also cultural differences. I see that my first and second generation Mexican and Filipino friends are far more likely to just show up somewhere and it's fine, where folks that are third gen or further are not. There are probably a lot of other factors. I think it's safe to say there's no single norm for who will consider this acceptable, though.

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SKULLDIVERGURL@reddit

I am from the Midwest (Wisconsin) and my husband is an immigrant. So yeah. Perfectly normal in my life.

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Limp_Dragonfly3868@reddit

I’m 60 and don’t like people to pop in. I find it rude. Call and ask.

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Kat9935@reddit

I don't know my aunt use to pop in all the time and my mom was always nice but then complained when she left. For her it was about she had 6 kids and planned her days accordingly to be sure she was able to get groceries and get dinner made and dishes done and laundry done, etc. When you are headed out the door and she shows up and now its getting closer and closer to the kids getting off the bus it wasn't always appreciated. If she had called, mom would have done grocery shopping in the morning and then they could have chatted while she folded laundry or made supper

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edman007@reddit

My family doesn't live near me (3+ hours), my wife has siblings and aunts/uncles that are close. The day we came home from the hospital after giving birth to my son, her aunts/uncles just randomly showed up trying to give us food. And they continued to do it every day for the next week. And for those that don't know, that first week you basically going to the doctors every single day. So half the time we were at the doctors and they were texting us asking why aren't you home. Normally it's not, but sometimes people act like it's normal, especially on days that you *really* *really* do NOT want company.

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Bob_12_Pack@reddit

It used to be acceptable, modern conveniences have changed the norms a bit, but I still have a few friends that I can just drop in on. It's not something I practice much, but if I happen to be in the neighborhood and their car is in the driveway I may stop in.

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cat_prophecy@reddit

I don't think this as been the case in my lifetime. The odds of you showing up and use NOT being in the middle of something are pretty slim, especially on a weeknight. Likely it was more common when only one parent worked, and after work time was for hanging out and not doing all the shit you couldn't do during the day on account of being at work.

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H_E_Pennypacker@reddit

I’m almost 40 and when I was a kid we would routinely drop by my grandma’s house an hour away unannounced. She was almost always home. If she wasn’t, we’d just go out to lunch, or go look at tools at Home Depot, and try again an hour later, and she’d almost always be back by then. If she wasn’t, oh well, we just took a a ride and went out to lunch

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beta_vulgaris@reddit

Same here. In the 90’s, almost all of my visits to my grandmother’s were unannounced. We’d show up, she’d be there, and she’d usually offer us food and drink. This was true for most of my older relatives. It was very normal for a long time.

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ericbythebay@reddit

Maybe for poor people with no class. Wealthy folks didn’t show up unannounced.

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seatownquilt-N-plant@reddit

High society would show up unannounced and if no one was home, or if they were not accepting visitors, a "calling card" could be left with the servant. [https://hobancards.com/blogs/thoughts-and-curiosities/calling-cards-and-visiting-cards-brief-history](https://hobancards.com/blogs/thoughts-and-curiosities/calling-cards-and-visiting-cards-brief-history)

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CaptainMalForever@reddit

Before phones, people would just show up at others' houses if they were in the area. If you were like have staff rich, then they would have their staff drop off a note ahead of time and confirm, but it wasn't "poor people with no class." It was just not the richest of the rich.

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H_E_Pennypacker@reddit

No need for the classism, and I don’t think what you’re saying is true

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dazzleox@reddit

I think there's a real age gap on this one. Cut off somewhere around 45-55. Its definitely declining to do an unannounced visit. My dad sometimes drops by if hes in the area and drops off French toast on the door step if we aren't home.

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DankItchins@reddit

I wish my dad would leave french toast at my door.

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dazzleox@reddit

He uses so much lemon it's become an inside joke but we still eat it. It's very nice/

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DankItchins@reddit

Definitely a sweet gesture, regardless of the quality of the French toast. Very wholesome.

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NflJam71@reddit

There are many circumstances where showing up unannounced is fine, if basically any of my friends or family popped by unannounced I'd be 100% fine with it as long as they're also fine with me potentially not being home or telling them I'm busy right now but it's nice to see them.

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mleftpeel@reddit

It's ok in my family. If my sister is in the neighborhood she might drop by to give a shirt she picked out for my kid, pick up something, show me her new car, whatever. We have keys to each other's houses too.

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Alternative-Row812@reddit

Not sure you can speak for the whole country on this. America has a big history of this. My grandmother's rule was that you always had to have a coffee cake in the house in case there were surprise visits.

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ca77ywumpus@reddit

I live next door to my inlaws, and I still text before coming over. If they're not home, I leave whatever I'm delivering just inside the door.

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heridfel37@reddit

I'm neighbors with my parents. It's about 50/50 whether texting before a visit, in either direction. My kids, though, are perfectly happy to just wander over, and I have no issues just showing up if my kids are already there.

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FITGuard@reddit

Going to send this comment to my family. Perhaps they will learn.

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SoftLast243@reddit

Call or rather text, always.

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Chocol8Cheese@reddit

just showing up will get an unanswered door from me.

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BulkyHealth2684@reddit

Over the weekend my mom stopped by unannounced, for the first time ever. She only lives a few blocks away. My husband & I tried to act like it was no big deal. But as soon as she left, we were both annoyed & worried it was going to become a regular thing. Now I have to keep my house clean like a grown adult, in case she pops by?! Ughhh. For reference, I’m 47 😂 And I’d feel the same way about siblings.

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Dazzling-Climate-318@reddit

My brother lives two hours away, so I would definitely call or text first.

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lemonclouds31@reddit

My only sibling who lives on their own and I would want to visit is 100miles away and he works weekends, so I always have to coordinate before we meet.

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Green_Barracuda_6662@reddit

I'm old school even though i'm only thirty. Calling or texting is not a requirement to come over to my house. I wish everybody else felt like this too, it sucks. Everyone always getting so pissed off it's like who cares. We didn't use to have phones all the time.Like I know we do now but i'm just saying.

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First-Stress-9893@reddit

I think it depends on the person. It’s not culturally widespread one way or the other. I hate the pop in so much but my sister loves it and we grew up in the same family. The main difference is I’m always really busy so if someone shows up they are probably interrupting something. She gets home from work and watches tv so she is excited when people show up. Also she is an extrovert and I’m an introvert.

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showducky81@reddit

For me it always call.

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CuriousSurfer19@reddit

Show up at someone’s house?? Please… I can barely get people to answer their phone without them requesting we plan the phone call

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underhand_toss@reddit

I text first to make sure they are home.

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Ok_Expression_2737@reddit

Our family is extremely country. The only reason to call first is to see if they are home. Usually, we just drop by one another's house, unannounced. If they're not home, we leave a note. If they have plans, they tell us, and we leave.

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lacrimaldrainage@reddit

Unless you live there, NEVER show up at my house without asking.

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Lady_of_the_Briar@reddit

This would REALLY depend. There are so many factors that would impact this situation. Family dynamics, culture, region, religion, etc....

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Strict_Foot_9457@reddit

My sister lives 5 mins away and calls or texts if she's going to stop by. Mainly as a heads up and to make sure someone is home

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NightDragon8002@reddit

I don't live near my brother but I think I would at least text (probably not actually call) to see if he's going to be home

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jonesnori@reddit

I think it depends a lot on how far apart you live. Families that actually live in the same neighborhood will probably give very different answers. My dad's family had a custom of going to a particular NC mountain town in the summer. There, it was fine to pop over without warning. (Some of the family still goes there, but I haven't been in years.) Back at home, I think most people would expect advance notice because we mostly don't live close together.

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turfnerd82@reddit

My brother is less than 5 miles from me if I call on January first he might call me back sometime in November and flips his shit if anyone, not just me, just stops by. So yea call and just keep the dish.

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acnh1222@reddit

I wish I could but we live an ocean away from each other!

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DameKitty@reddit

My brother lives across the country (25 hour drive with no stops) so if I'm going to visit, I'm making plans ahead of time. And I'm flying. When he comes out this way, I have him stay with us. He loves playing with his nephews.

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OutOfPlace186@reddit

Not really a culture thing, but is more of a “how close is your relationship” thing I think. My sister and I are super close, but she has a family and I am single so even though I visit her 3x a week, I still text or call before I go over to respect her time that she has with her family (her and her husband work opposite shifts so they rarely can be together and I don’t want to interrupt their time together).

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greco1492@reddit

My nearest family member is more than 30 minutes away so I'm gonna call first

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dracotrapnet@reddit

Depending on the sibling, it's a 1-2 hour drive so I'd call to make sure they would be there. My brother lives on his in-law's farm that's gated at the road so calling is required. Often my sister is at my mom's house which is just down the street.

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FormidableMistress@reddit

I have friends and family I will pop by unannounced, but just certain ones. Mostly I'll text someone first. My brother lives over 1,000 miles from me. It's like a 17 hour drive.

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NPHighview@reddit

I grew up in Chicago in the 1950s and 1960s. It wasn't unusual at all for friends of my parents to show up and just walk into the kitchen through the back door of our house (faced the little yard behind the house instead of the street in front). I thought it was really nice that they felt comfortable enough to do so. Similarly, we lived in southern Michigan in the 1990s and had children of our own. Neighbor adults would knock or ring the doorbell, but neighborhood kids would just stream in and out of the house. One time there were a bunch of kids in our basement, playing video games, and when we called down the stairs to our own kids, the others responded by saying that our kids had left and gone to another house to play. Did we want them to leave? No - they were fine. We did let all their parents know that their kids were at our house. Now, we're on the "don't bother to check - just let them in" list for some friends who live in a gated community nearby. We tell the guy at the gate who we are and they wave us through. Not quite the same, but close.

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fantaceereddit@reddit

I’d honestly be ok if any of my family showed up at my door any time of day. I’d hope they had a good reason if it were in the middle of the night. I do appreciate a heads up, but it’s not totally necessary

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tigerlily4501@reddit

Back in the day when people had landlines not cell phones I think it was a bit more acceptable to just drop by unannounced rather than have to go hunt down a pay phone if you are out and about. But these days with cellphones it's just good manners to call or text first.

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earlyre98@reddit

My sister lives 30 minutes away. Is it socially acceptable to visit without calling first? yes. Is it acceptable to my sister? NO. " There's a reason I live this far away"

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Bubbly-End-6156@reddit

We talk nonstop, it would be hard not to tell her. But it'd be fine if I didn't give a heads up. She has 3 kids and is very extroverted. She loves guests and keeps a tidy home. I'm the introvert with no kids (yet). So she calls before stopping by to be sure I want guests. I'm not as tidy as her, so a heads up is welcomed

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writekindofnonsense@reddit

My sister is far away but I wouldn't just pop in on anyone. I set up a time to visit my mom who is 30 minutes away. I wouldn't want anyone to just show up at my house unannounced so I wouldn't do that to anyone.

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AggravatingShow2028@reddit

It’s a 3 hour flight to my brothers so a 30 minute visit would be a bit expensive

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New_Part91@reddit

My brand new DIL made it perfectly clear within a couple of days after the wedding that I was not to show up at their house unless invited. Those invites were far and few between. I am not sure why she took a dislike to me before even meeting me. I tried asking my son once and the answer he gave me did not make sense to me. He claimed that I made an embarrassing statement (not about any person in particular) at a pre-wedding gathering. The conversation had turned to how much neighborhoods changed overtime and I contributed facts that I had read in an article about how local stores played a large part in that change by the products that they chose to offer the public. I thought it was an interesting and informative fact that contributed to the general conversation Apparently, it was seen as a racist remark although no one including me mentioned anything at all about race. I don’t know if that is the true reason that the DIL barely ever spoke to me in the 30 years that they have been married but not having any daughters of my own, it has certainly made me sad that we could not be on better terms. She goes out of her way to avoid me at family gatherings.

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New_Part91@reddit

For sone of my Mom’s relatives, a visit wasn’t a visit unless it included an overnight or two

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dreamyquokka@reddit

Call or text. Make sure they’re home and okay with company. That’s what I would want and what I do. I would hate if someone just showed up at my house.

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MinuteContest128@reddit

The only person I don’t give a heads up to is my dad. Everyone else I text first because we all have busy lives and there’s a good chance they won’t be home if I show up unannounced. Same with my dad but I’ll just let myself in there if I have a reason to be there like pay his bills.

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letschat66@reddit

Not anymore. I don't like her husband.

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spice-cabinet4@reddit

I have to fly out to see my sibling, but I have just shown up on my aunt's doorstep when I was in the area.

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Rose_E_Rotten@reddit

My brother lives 4 hours away and works 12 hour days, 3-4 days a week. The only time to visit is on his day off and it will definitely be for a few hours basically to catch up on life.

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thepurpleclouds@reddit

I would never just show up anywhere

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North_Artichoke_6721@reddit

My brother lives an hour away. We like each other and I am always happy to see him, but I would always call first to make sure he’s home before driving that far.

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shan68ok01@reddit

I'm a hermit stay at home. My brother who occasionally comes by lives an almost two hour drive away. He remembers to call when he's about a mile from his house to let me know he's coming to take me out or whatever. Gives me plenty of time to jump in the shower if needed be and be ready when he gets here.

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paranoid_70@reddit

Same. It's just practical.

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inbigtreble30@reddit

My sister lives 6,000 miles away so I try to call first.

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HazelEBaumgartner@reddit

Funny enough when I was a kid my mom did this to my grandparents once. In all the mess of getting seven kids ready for a 650 mile road trip she forgot to actually tell her grandparents that we were coming until we were less than three hours out and she went "oh crap I should probably tell mom to get the sleeping pallets ready!" Grandparents were delighted to see us but sure enough were volunteering at a church event that night so we had to let ourselves in and get our sleeping area ready ourselves and see them in the morning since they got back after bedtime.

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MakalakaPeaka@reddit

“Sleeping pallets?”

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HazelEBaumgartner@reddit

It's a southern regional term for basically when you put all the extra blankets out on the floor to make an extra "bed" for company, usually specifically for the kids while adults sleep in spare beds, blow-up mattresses, and the couch.

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MakalakaPeaka@reddit

I've never once heard this used in my long, American life! Makes perfect sense, mind you. :)

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Hazel1928@reddit

My kids and now my grandkids use sleeping pallets. If our kids were scared during the night we would make them a pallet in our room (or they would just come on their own, bringing a pillow and something to cover up with, and they would sleep right on the carpet.

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toodleroo@reddit

Surprise!

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Rj924@reddit

But, like, say you just showed up at her door. Some kind of extenuating circumstance. Would she care? I wouldn’t.

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happygoth6370@reddit

Any member of my immediate family could show up at my door and I'd be fine with it. Some of my extended family as well. We ate a close-knit group, lol.

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byebybuy@reddit

Same. I'd be irritated on the inside but if they're doing that, there's probably a very good reason. My mother in law lives in an ADU in our back yard and we make her text us and get permission before coming into the house lol.

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Cheap_Coffee@reddit

Wow

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HrhEverythingElse@reddit

I wish I could feel this way. My parents live about a mile away but every time I've let them in without doing a "guest clean" they have awful judgemental things to say. My house isn't even dirty, but a couple of dishes in the sink is enough to keep me meeting them in the driveway

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Obi-Juan-K-Nobi@reddit

Ditto

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Embarrassed-Most-582@reddit

No, my sister lives across the country and has told me she would not care if I just showed up one day

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OutrageousQuantity12@reddit

My brother lives 15 minutes away, asking him to drive half an hour (round trip) to see me for half an hour seems weird. If I invite him over, it’s to hang out for a few hours minimum

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danhm@reddit

Yep. I've never lived close to my sister as an adult.

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bilateralunsymetry@reddit

Same, but make sister plural

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SkyPork@reddit

Same here. Though from OP's wording I thought they were wondering about *requesting* a visit *from* your sibling. Which is hilarious for me to think about: getting my bro to take time off work, book a flight, fight his way through customs, make his way all the way from the airport to my place, and then, half an hour after he arrived, I'd say, "well, thanks for stopping by. I have stuff to do. Take care!" Honestly that sounds exactly like the kind of thing we'd do to each other. :-D

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Missbhavin58@reddit

Same

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crashin-kc@reddit

My brother is 10 miles away. I send a text message.

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BrainFartTheFirst@reddit

My brother lives 100 mi away from me and depending on traffic the trip can take anywhere from 2 to 4 hours. I arrange it in advance. Especially since I usually have to stay over.

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blondechick80@reddit

Same

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incandescentink@reddit

Similar but also I try to spend longer than 30 minutes when it takes so long to get there 🤣

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No_Butterscotch_5612@reddit

both of my siblings are on the other side of the continent. there'd probably be multiple calls and texts. but realistically, I'd be putting the dish in the mail, and texting to ask how it got to me in the first place

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YellowSpoon123@reddit

I would call or text to make sure they were home first.

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butt_honcho@reddit

And that they were wearing pants.

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Shortchange96@reddit

I called my brother to say I was coming over and he answered the door wearing no pants. When questioned he said, “This is a no pants zone”

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sfdsquid@reddit

Homer Simpson once answered the door wearing a paper bag and when questioned said "I have misplaced my pants."

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Shortchange96@reddit

My brother is a huge Simpsons guy

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LuftDrage@reddit

I like this guy already

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Shortchange96@reddit

I was with my girlfriend at the time. It was….awkward

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TiffanyTwisted11@reddit

You laugh, but that actually happened to me once. I dropped in on a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time (I was in my 20s so wasn’t exactly socially aware) and he was sitting on his sofa with his pants around his ankles. Learned my lesson. What an idiot I was.

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Fuzzy-River-2900@reddit

I mean it’s one thing to drop around unannounced and another to actually just walk straight in unannounced!

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TiffanyTwisted11@reddit

That part was just how our friend group was at the time. We would just leave our front doors open. That’s how we were able to walk right in.

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TSells31@reddit

>I was in my 20s Your average 20 year old absolutely knows not to randomly drop in on someone they haven’t seen in a long time I feel like lol.

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TiffanyTwisted11@reddit

Well clearly I didn’t, but thanks for pointing that out.

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butt_honcho@reddit

I absolutely do not laugh. I have friends with an open-door policy, but it comes with a "you might see us in our underwear if you don't call ahead" disclaimer.

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SushiGirlRC@reddit

That's why you keep door pants handy.

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No-University-8391@reddit

Or a robe

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PecanEstablishment37@reddit

Sage advice, u/butt_honcho

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seidinove@reddit

And not in the middle of making more nephews and nieces.

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nmacInCT@reddit

Same. I live 5 minutes from one so we will text.

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hahachickengobrr@reddit

ye its a waste if theyre not

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Weak_Employment_5260@reddit

It's a big waste of time if they weren't wearing pants?

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sevenbluedonkeys@reddit

Seems like it would be just the opposite to me

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mcaffrey@reddit

Yes, most Americans call or text first.

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Wanderlust_Dream_28@reddit

Depending on the family member depends on if I call or text either: before I get dressed for the day, am on my way there already, or after I've arrived and am looking for them.

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Just-Finish5767@reddit

One sister lives a few blocks away, another 10 minutes, and my mom 15 minutes. My sisters often, but not always, text or call first. My mom rarely does and will call from the driveway asking “are you not home?” when the answer is obviously that we are not.

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RealEyesandRealLies@reddit

I agree with this and will also add in proximity. When my family members lived on the same block and in the same buildings we just went, no calling or texting. And on the flip side you just expected people to show up. We’re more dispersed over the last 3 years and the family members who have to travel are more likely to text before making the trip.

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raindorpsonroses@reddit

I live nowhere near any of my family. They would completely panic if I showed up without a heads up assuming something horrible happened. But if I texted or called first they’d be fine with it and I would be with them visiting as well. They’d never visit for like 30 mins though, at least the day and probably staying over because they live too far away. When my sister and I went to the same college but didn’t live together we’d text to give a heads up because we’d at least like to know if the person was home before going over there!

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somecow@reddit

Text. Wouldn’t even show up to my mom’s house unannounced, and she does absolutely nothing all day. My sister is probably at work, or asleep.

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blueponies1@reddit

You would definitely call first for most people. When my sister still lived in the same city as me, we would have dinner every few months. Seeing each other at family events, holidays, birthday parties in between. The answer is going to vary a lot but I assume most American siblings don’t just show up unannounced to their siblings home

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RichCaterpillar991@reddit

15 years ago, just show up. Now, send a text (the text may just say “coming over”)

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Muted-Solution-6793@reddit

I show up to my brothers house and peak through the window like a creeper or just open the door.

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musicnote95@reddit

My brother is lucky if I text him once a month

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DexterCutie@reddit

My sister lives 2 minutes away. I always call first.

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gotellmeagain@reddit

It seems like that was very common in the 20th century that has changed in the past 25 years . I always call or text because: 1. I don’t know if they’ll be home or not and I don’t wanna drive over there for nothing. 2. I think it’s rude to just show up without contacting someone first. I don’t like it when someone does that to me.

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theshortlady@reddit

it depends on the family. I feel like you can call and ask in anything but the most dire emergency.

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Tejanisima@reddit

Back when my brother was alive, no, of course I wouldn't call. Regarding my siblings-in-law who lived just 15 minutes away for almost a decade (tearing up 😢 just thinking about how far away they live now), only if I wanted to make sure they were home. Back when they occupied five apartments in the same complex, I would frequently drop in on one, figuring that if they weren't home, I drop in on one of the others.

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notreallylucy@reddit

I don't generally go to anyone's house without calling first, not even my parents.

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FishingWorth3068@reddit

I would call first. I think the only family members house I can just show up at is my grandmas. Everyone else I call.

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txlady100@reddit

Depends on the family. I’d always give a heads up.

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Outrageous_Rabbit_13@reddit

Always. But I was raised in a cult. I have a huge anxiety going to anyone's door that doesn't know im coming. I call and then let em know im there. I dont knock, do the doorbell and certainly dont go in. But it's just me. When I first met my husband he did not understand why his "just come in when your here texts" worked. I always texted or called while walking up and have him answer the door. Its not my house, not my safe space, not a public place. To me it'd just feel wrong. Ive also never lived closer then 3 hrs from family (till the immediate fam grew up and split) so it was a road trip and for sure atleast one nights stay.

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FourLetterHill3@reddit

I will usually text my siblings to make sure they are home and able to accept visitors at that time.

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lascriptori@reddit

My sister lives 10 minutes away. I text before I go over, mainly to make sure she's home and available. But if I needed to return a dish or something, and I was in the neighborhood and she didn't respond to the text right away, she wouldn't think it was weird if I knocked on the door (and vice versa).

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Astrazigniferi@reddit

My dad and siblings live 10 minutes away, in the house i grew up in. I’ve been doing my laundry there, while my laundry room is unavailable. I still text to let them know I’m coming by. It just seems weird not to.

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Brock_Savage@reddit

It is always a good idea to call or text someone before visiting. Unannounced visits are rude and intrusive.

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cdb03b@reddit

You always ask. You do not know if there are pre-existing plans, or if they are even home.

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Responsible_Side8131@reddit

I would NEVER show up to anyone’s house unannounced. Not even my parents.

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moemoe8652@reddit

Same. I have three kids. I try to stay on top of the cleaning but my god, it’s a mess. I’m embarrassed if my house is not clean for anyone. My family would not judge me but idc.

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theexpertgamer1@reddit

Ok but what do pajamas have to do with anything? Do you *dress up* for your family members??

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Responsible_Side8131@reddit

No I don’t get dressed up, but clothes and brushed teeth and hair are something I want if someone is coming to my house. Would you want you mother in law showing up unannounced when you were walking around in your underwear?

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purplefoxie@reddit

no matter how close or far you live you always have to check and make sure they are available first

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0O1lIil0O1lIil@reddit

My parents are older and have no problem against spontaneous visits. I can decide to show up and they love it. But most people prefer call ahead

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Bubble_Lights@reddit

Depends on how close your relationship is.

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sevenwatersiscalling@reddit

My brother lives on the opposite side of the country and is often travelling for work, so I'd definitely be calling well in advance if I planned to stop by. He on the other hand has surprised me with visits on multiple occasions (he made arrangements with our parents to make sure everything worked out). He could drop in unannounced anytime and I'd have him join us for dinner.

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OttoVonPlittersdorf@reddit

Some people do it, but I would never without calling first. Except my uncle and cousin's place. There I just pop in to say hi, but they're right across the street. It's practically the same house.

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ninuibe@reddit

I would just show up to my sister's house, because they are 30 minutes away and live with my parents, so the house is kind of a family compound and someone would be home. I would not expect her to be home or to visit if she was busy. My brothers live within a 4 hour drive of me. I would make plans and would not drop by unannounced.

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bambixanne@reddit

My family knows I get extremely irritated if they just show up

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Just_curious4567@reddit

Yes I do but we call first

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anonymouse278@reddit

My sibling lives too far away for this to ever be an issue, but in general I think calling or texting before you show up is baseline courtesy for everyone, even close friends and family. My sibling would probably be the person I would be *least* bothered by them just showing up unannounced, but it would still be weird, slightly thoughtless behavior.

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people_r_us@reddit

Depends on the relationship between either you and your sibling or your parents and your sibling. My brother will just pull up to my parents house sometimes with no warning (once he ended up here when nobody was home), but I know other people who always ask. I would never go to one of my siblings' apartments without calling or at least texting first

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pixievixie@reddit

My brother lives in the same state as me, but far enough away that it’s a whole trip to go visit, so yes, I would definitely check that he’s home. One time I was driving by for a work training thing and was gonna just stop by, but I did text and he was already getting ready to go to sleep, so I didn’t even stop 🫣

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LaserSayPewPew@reddit

My sister lives a few hours away, so I don’t just drop in, but she’s also basically never home so chances of catching her would be slim.

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Discount_Plumber@reddit

My sister lives an hour away. So we don't really just stop over for a short time unless we happen to already be in the area.

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MortimerDongle@reddit

I'd text them first. I'd also text my parents before stopping by their house. I also don't live super close to any of them, e.g. my parents are just under an hour drive, so I usually wouldn't just stop by for a quick visit unless I happen to be driving past

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sykschw@reddit

I like how op assumes most peoples adult siblings live close enough for a casual drop by 😂makes the question rather moot

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DreamsAndSchemes@reddit

I would be incredibly concerned if any showed up as I’m an only child

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decorama@reddit

[I'm not into the pop-in. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzOv2jrC1I8)

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Senior_Performer_387@reddit

I usually will let them know before I show up. When my mom was alive though I usually just showed up to her house, which is now my brother's house(two of them own it but only one lives there with my mom's boyfriend) but the others will come over when I come by.

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CaseoftheSadz@reddit

My sister lives pretty close and for a year we lived down the street from each other. I’d at least text. Last week I had to drop some stuff off to her like you said and I just sent a text that I was on my way and if they weren’t home I’d leave it in the porch. Nobody likes to be surprised.

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gmhunter728@reddit

I call to see if she's going to be home. It's a 30min drive to her house

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PhasmaUrbomach@reddit

Must be nice to have a sibling 30 minutes away.

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foilrat@reddit

220 miles away, and I hate where he lives, so no.

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cholaw@reddit

When my brother and I lived in the same town, we had keys to each other's homes and it was not unusual for us to just be there. Never call. Just show up

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Tricky421@reddit

My sister lives 5 miles away. We just walk into each other's house. No calls first.

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skateboreder@reddit

I've always had a completely open door policy with all of my family and friends. But I wouldn't just show up to anyones home without knowing in advance that they're okay with it. My brother hates me and I wouldn't do it, he'd call the cops on me and unless I had a verty good reason to be there? Yeah, not happening. LOL At the same time...I dont' think any of my aunts or uncles or anyoene else is like this. We all lived on the same road growing up so like...we'd just show up. IF they weren't home or something...it's a 1minute drive.

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EffectiveRelief9904@reddit

It depends on the person, really. Seems like all the old people (grandparents) could care less and are happy with unannounced visits. My parents, don’t even think about it. Must announce yourself prior or there will be hell to pay. Others are kinda meh, a heads up would be nice to make sure they’re wearing pants and that the d rugs are put away but otherwise yeah.

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skaliton@reddit

OP you have to remember that many of us move away from each other. It isn't a 5 minute drive so yeah I'd call to make sure they are home before I take a 2 hour drive

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pastrymom@reddit

It’s fine to just show up, but it’s never just a quick visit. That’s just fine. Truthfully, I’ve been arguing with my brother in law because he won’t keep a key to my house.

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Humble-Tree1011@reddit

I’m generally fine with people in my circle showing up unannounced. If I’m home but busy I’ll say so. But I’d never just stop by and expect an audience without at least texting first. That’s rude.

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KikiCorwin@reddit

I'd call because I don't know if she'll be out with the kids or if she's home but in a meeting/working on something that can't be interrupted for a quick drop in. It's rude not to, and if I'm making a special trip, a waste of gas if nobody's home.

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AllSoulsNight@reddit

We have a screen door and a wooden door. If the wooden is open, guests are free to come in.

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DooficusIdjit@reddit

Depends on the dynamics. My in-laws and my immediate family are welcome to pop by any time. They all live nearby, and they frequently do so. Same with me.

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Adventurous_Nail2072@reddit

My twin brother and I live together (I’m a woman), and even after living together for years he still texts me to let me know he’s home before coming inside because I have a very severe trauma history and don’t like being surprised in my house. He’s super sweet about it, and it helps me feel safe, loved, and respected.

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Icy_Huckleberry_8049@reddit

My sister is an hour away, I'm calling first to see if she'll be home.

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dodadoler@reddit

No, they live about a 5 hr flight away, so I’d probably say maybe an hour visit

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Bitter-Platypus1087@reddit

I'd text or call just because my sister is a busy mom. My mom however I would just show up most likely, she's always home.

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Ur_Killingme_smalls@reddit

Well, my siblings live 3k miles from me, but if we lived in the same town I’d check first. We all have kids, spouses, jobs, lives, may not be home or have a napping kid or anything else at any given time

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Clean-Fisherman-4601@reddit

When my sister was alive, I usually called or texted first.

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OceanPotionZ@reddit

My older sister- I’d stop by anytime. My younger sister- only if I called.

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Shoshawi@reddit

Always ask. Unless one of us has a missing or broken phone it would be super invasive and inappropriate not to.

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judijo621@reddit

Do you?

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judijo621@reddit

Yes. Mostly to make sure they are home.

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OK_Stop_Already@reddit

depends on the family. i just try to call as a courtesy to make sure they're home or whatever.

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HeadCatMomCat@reddit

I always text to ask permission to come over With anyone including my adult kids. I'm not too close to my sister, she doesn't live that far away but I'm sure if she would to drop by she checked first by texting. Love texting.

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krycek1984@reddit

The only person in my life id show up unannounced to would be Mom. Even then I'd try to let her know. She has a life too. If she were a shut in desperate for human attention I'm sure it would be different.

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bellegroves@reddit

I text first, unless I don't want to visit and just drop things off on the porch.

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LowRexx@reddit

my older brother: I'd text him and ask him to come over, never hear back and eventually have to get my mom to get him to respond. he lives up the street from me. my twin sister: I'd come over, unannounced, at 1 am banging pots and pans and barging in, eating her food drinking her milk from the carton. she lives in a little house in my back yard. sometimes I go in her house when she isn't home and very slightly move things around. my little sister: I'd text before, but I wouldn't ask. I'd just say that I'm coming over and then make a vague (but 100% friendly) threat. she lives all the way in the UK :(

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Difficult_Ad1474@reddit

Yes. But none of my siblings live close enough for a quick visit.

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Aware_Focus9148@reddit

I think it depends on your age. I’m 50, and when I was growing up it was the norm to just show up at someone’s house unannounced. We would regularly go “visit” with people. This was in the US south in the 70’s and 80’s. Today I’ll still do this with a few people - best friend, next door neighbors (we don’t have any family nearby). But I know that younger people wouldn’t think about coming by without getting your agreement first.

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IWasGoatbeardFirst@reddit

I am not a fan of visitors showing up uninvited and unannounced. And I’m not close enough to my siblings for that scenario to be realistic.

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Euphoric-Stress9400@reddit

My parents live 40 minutes away. They would never dream of just stopping by. Even if they were just in the neighborhood. Always a text.

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Kbbbbbut@reddit

I wouldn’t mind at all if my brother just showed up at my house, but he definitely would at minimum call or text on the way as a heads up

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Icy-Arm-2194@reddit

Call first. We lived within walking distance of my in-laws and we never went over there without calling and they never came over without calling. It's just polite. Plus, someone may not be home.

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Opposite-Act-7413@reddit

My sister lives 20 minutes from me. So, we see eachother all the time. We have keys to eachother’s places. We both still call or text first. But, honestly this will depend on the individual family. I know plenty of families here that operate on the “pop up” rules. But, we do not. Like, if I am lucky enough to find time to squeeze in a nap and my sister shows up unannounced and wakes me from said nap we will no longer be sisters…I’m kidding…sort of.

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knowledgeispowrr@reddit

My brother and I lived in the same city for a few years. If he had shown up without calling or texting, it would have been for a good reason. He lives 12 hours away now and if he showed up with no notice, I would still let him in, but it would be more alarming for sure.

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Live-Ad2998@reddit

It's best to call lest you find them doing the Humpty Dumpty on the table reserved for Sunday family dinners.

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virtual_human@reddit

20 years ago I would just show up. These days I would text. Though my sister lives a thousand miles away so that is about a 14+ hour car ride.

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n0exit@reddit

20 years ago, my sister lived a block from me. Her husband was a great cook. Sometimes I'd text "what's for dinner" sometimes I'd just show up. She loved it...

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SlamClick@reddit

> These days I would text. I'm an old fart and even back then a lot of people were texting.

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bunnycook@reddit

The brother that lives around the corner gets a text to see if he’s home, and if it’s a good time to drop by. Sometimes it means I drop stuff off on his porch for him when someone gets home. He has a key to my place as it’s our parents house, but he always calls before coming over. The sister that lives a 10 hour drive away gets several phone calls and a month notice so she can take some time off and to coordinate schedules so she is home.

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kaywild11@reddit

I text to see if they are free and mind if I come over. I'm not risking driving 40 miles and then finding out they aren't home. Also would consider it rude.

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confan415@reddit

I don’t even like people calling me on the phone without checking first. No drop-ins. From anyone. I’m eating chips in my jammies, go away.

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AldenteAdmin@reddit

Call before visiting, not doing that started to cause some issues between my mother and her sisters before she finally established that you can’t just expect to show up at our house and think we’re ready or want to stop what we were doing just because you felt like stopping by. Things were cool after that. It’s just a privacy and respecting other people’s time and space thing around here.

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tetrasodium@reddit

Mom lives inan ADU in the back yard. I open the door and hand her the plate she left or put it somewhere that seems stable. Sister is a couple thousand miles away, we tend to pick each other up at the airport during a visit or very much know the expected date (and usually text updates with progress) when driving

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sittingonmyarse@reddit

In America, there was a time (in the 60’s or before) when no one cared if you dropped in. Now people get upset if you don’t at least call first. I still shouldn’t care, but I’m a messy housekeeper!

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Unique_Ad_3312@reddit

My brother would not mind if I just showed up, but I’d call first to make sure he was home. I guess if I happened to be in the neighborhood I would try dropping by.

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Nyx_Shadowspawn@reddit

I live a few blocks from my brother. It's generally a quick "hey can I pop by?" But we also loosely know the others' schedules and when is and isn't a good time, so it's not a big deal if someone pops over every now and then either (that we don't drop in unannounced on the other frequently probably plays a factor in that not being annoying, also unannounced visits tend to be brief).

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lousyredditusername@reddit

Very much depends on the family in question. My in-laws are the type to just drop by unannounced and be offended when you're not willing to entertain visitors at the drop of a hat. My family are the type to call/text to ask if you're home and if it's okay to stop by for a quick visit. Selfishly, I prefer to make sure someone is home and available before I make the effort to go see them, even if it's not that far away. But I also find it very distressing to receive unexpected visitors. Not everyone feels the same way.

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crazypurple621@reddit

My extended family who lives close by knows to call first because I'm liable to not be wearing any clothes.

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astrotekk@reddit

Always call before visiting in the US

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BigoleDog8706@reddit

I coffee visits.

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scottwax@reddit

I'd call to make sure they're there. It's about 45 minutes one way to any of my siblings.

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soggyballsack@reddit

All of my sister's live within 15 min of my house and we all have full permission to just walk in. When I was single late teens I would go to my sister's house, eat, wash the dish then leave. No one was there.

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honorthecrones@reddit

Depends on the person. I have a lot of siblings. Some I would pop in. Others I need to plan ahead.

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bilateralunsymetry@reddit

I went to my best friend's house in high school (we did not have cell phones since they were new and we didn't need them) unannounced like we always did and we lived about a quarter of a mile away. He didn't answer right away so I went to his window and saw him jorking it. I gave him some shit for it and we still hung out. I would do that still if we didn't live in different states now

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richbiatches@reddit

No they live about 2000 miles away.

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zenlittleplatypus@reddit

I'd text and if no answer, I'd call. "Hey, you home? Wanna drop this thing off."

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taranathesmurf@reddit

I would call just to make sure they don't have other plans. Just simple courtesy

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drivernopassenger@reddit

The only reason I wouldn’t reach out first is if I’m literally leaving something at the door.

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Khaleesi_dany_t@reddit

I might text him to let him know, but just. Cause he might be busy settling his littles

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eyoitme@reddit

i don’t usually want to visit my one sibling that lives near me but he’s like almost never home so i usually call first but like if one of my other siblings lived nearby and i knew it was their day off or smth? i’d probably drop in for something like that without warning if i knew they’d be there

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neoslith@reddit

I wouldn't be comfortable with anyone randomly popping in unannounced unless it was an emergency.

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MasonStonewall@reddit

Family is family, but we respect their privacy and independence. We always call before stopping by, even if we end up nearby unexpectedly.

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seanx40@reddit

My sister lives 12 hrs away. And I haven't talked to her in 4 years. So no quick visits

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nemc222@reddit

Call, always. They might want to change clothes, pick up real quick, etc. I think its beyond rude to just show up to snyone’s home.

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Occasionally_Sober1@reddit

Well, we live 700 miles away so we don’t really do quick visits.

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MamaMitchellaneous@reddit

I hate when people show up unannounced, so I don't do that to other people. Calling (or texting) ahead of time is the socially appropriate thing to do.

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TSells31@reddit

I cut a friend off shortly after high school for showing up to hang out once, on Christmas evening, when I was sick with the flu, after I had ignored his many phone calls (because I was sick and it was Christmas and why the fuck are you calling me a hundred times). It was the straw that broke the camels back though, and he was a friend that I wasn’t very compatible with post high school. I wouldn’t just cut off a good, long time friend for this, but I *would* be pretty pissed if it wasn’t an absolute emergency.

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BrazilianButtCheeks@reddit

Ehh I just show up.. but I also don’t even knock.. we are walk right in people.. whether they’re home or not.. we are also not door locking people 😅

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Nico-DListedRefugee@reddit

In my family, it is considered rude to not call before coming over. At my grandmother's house, there used to be just a small gate and fence between them and their neighbors. The neighbor would pop over unannounced so often that my grandmother made my grandfather take down that fence and put up a brick wall instead. They and the neighbors didn't really talk much after that.

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Diligent-Tie-3488@reddit

I would always call First

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ClockWeasel@reddit

Live too far, but if I was returning an empty dish it’s going on the porch in the Amazon box and ding dong ditch. We already had the conversation on text.

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Bouche_Audi_Shyla@reddit

My brother's dead, so I'm not planning on visiting any time soon. Hopefully when I do visit, the escalator will be going up.

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seecarlytrip@reddit

It is socially acceptable for me to just show up and vice versa but I usually call to make sure they’re actually home and I’m not wasting my time going over for them to not be there

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ColumbiaWahoo@reddit

Nope but I’m a 2 hour plane ride (or 11 hour drive) away

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Round-Lab73@reddit

It totally depends on your relationship

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HarpoMarx87@reddit

This. My sister and I wouldn't just appear (like many others here, distance is a factor), but I have family that is used to just popping by each other's places often, especially when they live close by.

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only1dragon@reddit

I have not talked to my family in years. If they show up or even try to contact me I will have a panic attack. Everyone knows not to just show up at my house.

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TetonHiker@reddit

My sisters are in 2 different states far far away. I'm on the pacific north west coast. One's in VA on the opposite coast and the other is in CO. I don't think I'd be dropping in without a call.

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hungaryboii@reddit

Back when I lived 15 minutes from my older brother, I would text him 3-4 days before trying to see him, both adults and both busy. My little brother lived 5 hours away so that took more planning lol

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DGAFADRC@reddit

I never go to visit ANYONE without calling/texting first to make sure they are ok with having company. And if you show up at my house unannounced? I’m not answering the door because I’m not wearing a bra, and I’m most likely not wearing pants either. 🤣🤷‍♀️

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Amockdfw89@reddit

I mean I’ll usually call and if they will be around five some frame of reference. Like “hey since you will be home today I’ll try to stop by a little bit after lunch”

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robertwadehall@reddit

My sister lives 5 min away, she usually texts me before coming over.

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NDT03076@reddit

Always call first.

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jumpoffthedeepend@reddit

Yeah we’d call

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wannabeemefree@reddit

This is really dependent on the individuals. Some people just drop by others will call or text. Some people don't mind, some people are super.busy and don't like it, especially nowadays with work from home.

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nkdeck07@reddit

I just show up but I live literally around the corner and watch their kid 5 days a week. If I'm out in the woodshop for the day I'll just pop in to use the toilet

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liplip316@reddit

We are a 2 minute drive from my brother, and I pass his house on my way to and from work so I have just shown up with no heads up. But I usually call or text first. Now my parents are famous for just showing up out of the blue. They live about 15 minutes away from us. We are also pretty rural.

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mikkowus@reddit

In a Hispanic family or Italian family, and you live around the corner, just show up. Otherwise, call or text first

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dirtyworkoutclothes@reddit

I would send a text. Who knows if they’ll be home or not. My brother lives about 10 miles from me.

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AccountantRadiant351@reddit

I always call or text to make sure it's an ok time and they're home, no matter who it is.

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rojita369@reddit

Nope, we’re not close like that

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ConflictedMom10@reddit

If anyone shows up to my house unannounced, there better be a life or death emergency and a dead cell phone involved. I would never show up somewhere without asking first.

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trexalou@reddit

My sister lived 4 hours away. When we got together it was for overnight at least. I now see her girls for a couple hours at a time. I do reach out (call/text) my parents before going over. They live 1.5 miles away. They call/text me as well. Except they have a hard time with stairs and stairs are the only way into my house so we usually get together at theirs.

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Butterbean-queen@reddit

One lives 800 miles away and one live almost 300 miles away. I’m calling first.

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androidbear04@reddit

I think it really depends on the family.

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whateverhername_is@reddit

No. The only home I show up to unannounced is my parents. And even that is only because they told me to stop calling them and just show up when I wanted.

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originalmango@reddit

I will always ask if it’s okay to drop something off, or drop by, or even ask if they feel like company. Always.

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stockvillain@reddit

A simple "is it cool if I stop by this afternoon/tomorrow?" text message is polite enough for family. I always text my mother before I visit (turned 69 last week), and we live in the same town.

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Mrs_Gracie2001@reddit

I always call first. Only my parents got me unannounced

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Skippeo@reddit

I am lucky enough to live very close to my parents and one of my sisters (basically next door), and they sometimes pop in unannounced, which is fine with me. My other siblings would probably call first, but usually visit when they were already visiting my parents so I knew they were around already.

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FfierceLaw@reddit

What? My siblings live in different states, so do my parents. We live in 4 different states. There are no “drop ins,” much as we love each other.

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GreenTravelBadger@reddit

Call or text first, even if we live near and are close. It's just basic manners.

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CombinationClear5672@reddit

me and my sisters don’t visit each other’s places, if we meet up it’s at my moms house

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Federal_Pickles@reddit

When I lived near family yes. Partially because what if they aren’t home?

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badbackandgettingfat@reddit

I have lunch with my twin sister every monday for like 7 years now.

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taniamorse85@reddit

If my brother and I weren't estranged and we actually lived close to each other, I would ask before visiting.

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Nekoraven1@reddit

Show up, sis lives with our parents 😅 I have spare key to house.

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stiletto929@reddit

I don’t live close to most of my family. But I hate when people show up unexpectedly. It was alright when I was young but now I prefer some notice.

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admseven@reddit

My closest family member lives like six hours away; closest in-laws about an hour away. But frankly even if they lived down the block I would appreciate a heads up before they popped by. At this point I essentially won’t answer an unexpected knock at the door.

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Sample-quantity@reddit

We always give advance notice to each other.

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Sorry-Government920@reddit

I always call or text 1st

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Zealousideal_Lab_427@reddit

I feel like pop-ins were more common when I was a kid, but for us it was friends, bc our family lived in other states/countries. When I was a kid, there were a lot more SAHMs, and now so many more people work, so there’s always a chance the person isn’t home. My sister is a retail manager, and she works non-standard (8am-5pm) hours, and has random days off. I could pop by, but if she’s working, I’d end up hanging with her partner, who’s a lovely person, but rather awkward.

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blackhawk905@reddit

I'd call or text to make sure they're home unless I knew they'd be home and wanted to surprise them, I'd do short visits if I lived closer to them, hell I do short visits sometimes with friends.

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sparksgirl1223@reddit

I wouldn't have anything that belongs to my siblings and wouldn't call to drop in. I do my best to stay away. But when we were on speaking terms, I'd call to give a heads up that I was headed that way.

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OldBob10@reddit

I would call first. Full disclosure: I’m an only kid so we’d both be surprised if I just showed up. 😊

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Alley_cat_alien@reddit

I would NEVER just show up. No way. And I wouldn’t call either, I’m not a fucking heathen. I would text.

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HairyDadBear@reddit

If I lived close to them, I wouldn't mind if they pop up. But I prefer a text/call in case I'm busy. I don't want to waste their time.

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Jessalopod@reddit

My sister lives 10 minutes away, and I would always call first. My brother lives 15 minutes away, and I'd also call him first. My parents live 20 minutes away, and I would also call them first. None of them would be offended by me just showing up, but it would be rude to simply show up and assume they're home and not busy with something else.

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jephph_@reddit

My brother lives in my exact neighborhood but I still text if I’m going over. It’d be fine to just show up randomly I guess but a text is saying “ayo bitch be ready to hit the buzzer I’m rolling through”

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texasrigger@reddit

Both of my adult kids live (separately) within 5 minutes of me. I never show up to their places unannounced, and they don't show up to my place without texting or calling first.

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AnitaIvanaMartini@reddit

I haven’t spoken to my brother in 28 years, so “nope.”

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ScarletDarkstar@reddit

My brother used to just show up at the house. It never bothered me. Today he has been gone 17 years, and I still wish he could drop in.

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Lonely_Carob5841@reddit

Most of my family lives 10 hours away by car, so visiting is very difficult. If we lived closer (walking distance), I wouldn't mind them showing up randomly as long as I was already home.

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Syndromia@reddit

We call and say we're coming. I dont want to walk in on her and her husband and if I have the house to myself there is a non zero chance that Im listening to weird music while cleaning in the buff and neither she nor her husband nor my niece want to see that and Id rather none of them saw it either.

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imthe5thking@reddit

My family is about 200 miles away, parents and sister living in different houses in the same town. But if I’m visiting and I’m over at my parent’s house, my sister will just walk in whenever. And I did that as well when my parents lived where I live.

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CocoaKitty2U@reddit

I dont have bio siblings that I'd visit. However - chosen family if im just dropping off a dish and ONLY dropping off a dish I might not say anything. Just drop and run bc I can let myself in. Chances are tho that I told them the night before that I'd drop by at something in the day to drop it off. If im coming by to chat im absolutely asking if you're busy/have spoons to converse for a bit

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Snizzledizzlemcfizzl@reddit

I live about 4 hours from home (not far by american standards. Thats a weekend trip) and i like to just show up and surprise them since I don't make it home very often

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Ollie-Arrow-1290@reddit

Always give a heads-up.

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xmetalheadx666x@reddit

One brother lives 100 miles away the other lives 1200, I'm not making either trip without it being planned.

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HeatwaveInProgress@reddit

Always text. Always. First of all I might not be home, or busy, or whatever. Plus, it's just rude, yes, even for family members.

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jgoolz@reddit

If my sister lived nearby I think it would be ok if we just stopped by unannounced. My mom and I do this with each other since we are only 15 min away.

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MM_in_MN@reddit

I have a big family, and many of them are local-ish to me. They can show up at any time, for any reason- and some have. My cousin was just over last weekend killing time between baseball games, at some fields not too far away. I knew they were coming- and had food ready. It was cousin, nephew and 2 more hungry 10 yr old boys. But it would have been fine, just more scrambling, if they had just shown up.

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NickCharlesYT@reddit

We're both very busy and have work from home schedules, so it's impossible for either of us to know if the other is available even if we drove up. We always texted each other first. Not that we wouldn't be ok with a visit out of the blue if we were home and not working, but we also respect each other's time and don't want to inconvenience the other.

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Westofbritain413@reddit

Sibling? Yes, they can just show up anytime. Older generations? In-laws etc? I need at least a heads-up text because I like to hang out in my skivvies at home.

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I_demand_peanuts@reddit

I haven't met my siblings and one of them is dead, so no.

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TheGabyDali@reddit

My sister is about a 35 hour drive from me so I'd probably give her a heads up. I think if I owned my own home I wouldn't mind my siblings stopping by unannounced but I can totally see my sister and brother having harder boundaries than I. The only reason they couldnt in the past is because I lived in apartment buildings with pretty strict security.

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Maleficent_Coast_320@reddit

Siblings live at a distance from me. But 3 out of 4 of our kids live ano more than 5 minutes from us. 2 of them live across the main road in another housing addition. No more than 2 minutes away, even if the car is in the garage. We always call and ask, and so do they.

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gwngst@reddit

My siblings live on the other side of the country… but for friends and other family, I usually give them a call and say I’m heading over a few minutes before I get there, especially when I’m visiting my grandparents as they are big fans of naps in the middle of the day, so they may not always be awake when I have time to visit.

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moosekielbasa@reddit

I will always call first and try to get in contact before going.

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AmalatheaClassic@reddit

I haven't spoken to my sister or even lived in the same state in close to 20 years. So that will never happen but she absolutely would just drop in without notice on me. I think a better question to ask would be how many American's are on speaking terms with their relatives to even have a drop in visit at all.

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HazelEBaumgartner@reddit

Depends which sibling. I have six siblings and my relationships with them all are not the same. Some would be absolutely cool with me just showing up, some would want a call or a text in advance, and others I don't even talk to so it would be weird for me to just show up.

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Usagi_Shinobi@reddit

Always call and confirm they have the bandwidth for visitors. That's just common courtesy.

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Debsha@reddit

I call or text, even if they aren’t in town and I want to use their pool. My brother will say something to the effect, you know we aren’t around and don’t care if you come over and use it. But still I let them know beforehand.

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Devee@reddit

Call definitely. If he knocked on my door without calling, I wouldn’t even answer the door.

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anita1louise@reddit

I would call my sister before stopping by it’s just polite. She lives about 45 miles away, and I often have business near where she lives.

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WatermelonMachete43@reddit

Varies from family to family. My husband dragged me along to stop in at his cousin's house when we were on our way to her city to buy concert tickets when we were in college. We lived 2 hours away, cousin had no notice we were coming (-pre-cell phone). We arrived and husband just knocked on the door and walked right in calling out his cousin's name. I had never met this woman and my family would definitely never arrive without a lot of notice, so this was a huuuuge shock to me.

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painter222@reddit

I text or call anytime I stop by anyone’s house. But with my family and best friend when I get there I don’t knock I just walk in. They leave the door unlocked when they know I’m coming so I can just walk in. I know the code to my in-laws door and let myself in there too.

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BUBBAH-BAYUTH@reddit

That kind of thing was more common before mobile phones and text messaging. Others will disagree I’m sure, but i find the “pop-in” aka just showing up without checking first to be very rude.

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Correct-Sir-2085@reddit

The only person I don’t text beforehand is my grandmother. 1. She’s lost her phone half the time so wouldn’t get my text anyways 2. If she’s not home (rare) I’d let myself in and drop the dish in her cupboard and leave a note. 3. My entire family does this so she expects us to just let ourselves in (she’s often a restroom stop). Literally everyone else I’ll text beforehand, even if it’s that I’ll stop in some time frame.

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whiskeyprincess08@reddit

I share a house with one sister. If I went to my other sisters house I would ask first but probably stay for a while.

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OkDog5568@reddit

Always call. I’m not close enough with my sisters for anything like that.

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bradd_pit@reddit

Call first. Who knows if she’s home or not

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LizaJane2001@reddit

I live 1000 miles away from my siblings. There are always conversations before I visit and it's always for at least 2 or 3 days. Depending on traffic, it can take 30 to 90 minutes for them to get to each other's houses. Their schedules are crazy, so they always talk before going and it's usually for a meal together.

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papercranium@reddit

My siblings and I live too far away for this, but I'm absolutely on a "just ring the doorbell" basis with lots of my neighbors. If they live on my block, I'm fine just walking by to return a dish or loan them a book or whatever.

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Grouchy_Vet@reddit

I always call or text first to make sure it’s okay. It’s not that I wouldn’t be welcome but maybe they wouldn’t be home or would be fixing dinner or already have company. For me, it’s better to check

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OrthodoxAnarchoMom@reddit

I would never just show up unless there was some weird no phone apocalypse. Also I would be very annoyed by a 30 minute visit. Either come over or don’t.

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AcrobaticTrouble3563@reddit

100% depends on the family culture. Might be entirely acceptable in my family and completely rude in yours. The exception to this is if someone in your 'feel free to drop by' family opts out. If they don't want drop in visits, don't freaking drop in without prior approval.

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Educational-Ad-385@reddit

I would call or text to be sure he's home and if it was convenient for him.

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SkyBerry924@reddit

My sister lives over four hours away but if she lived closer I would just show up and she is also welcome to show up. She doesn’t even have to knock

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cappotto-marrone@reddit

Even if we are driving by we call and ask family and friends if they’re interested in visitors. Sometimes people just want a nap.

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Ok_Concentrate4461@reddit

My brother only lives 45 minutes away, but if I showed up unannounced he'd probably think our mom died. We see each other a few times a year. No animosity, we just don't hang out.

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LowSkyOrbit@reddit

Always check in.

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harristusc@reddit

I would not necessarily call first before stopping by family’s house if I knew they were home.

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joepierson123@reddit

Always call. Somebody shows up uninvited they will not be welcome d.

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Certain_Store_619@reddit

Like you wouldn’t let them in? That’s insane

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ChemicalCat4181@reddit

Generally I don't bother answering the door at all when it rings unless I know someone is coming by or if it sounds urgent. In my family we all notify ahead of time so it's not an issue.

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joepierson123@reddit

Nope it never happens more than once though

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joepierson123@reddit

Yep. They learn quick never to do it again.

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-Boston-Terrier-@reddit

You would tell your sister to leave if she stopped by on her way home from work to return something you left at her house? This sub lol ...

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joepierson123@reddit

She can leave it in the mailbox

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-Boston-Terrier-@reddit

You guys are insane lol

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OnlyMyNameIsBasic@reddit

I check in to see if they are home

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ShinyAppleScoop@reddit

None of my siblings are less than a four hour flight. I would definitely call first.

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Lostsock1995@reddit

My sister only lives about 45 minutes away from me but I do always ask her the day before via text if I can come (in case she’s doing anything that day, if the household is sick because they all get it at once haha, if they’re entertaining etc). If it’s last minute I’m not like banned I’d still text her and ask and she’d almost certainly say yes but we usually plan it

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Ok_Persimmon_5961@reddit

My sister lives in Scotland and I live in Virginia. I hope I see her at Christmas though.

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Historical_Tax6679@reddit

Call first. You never know what they might be in the middle of.

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That-Childhood-1712@reddit

It depends on the person and the relationship. I regularly show up at my sister’s unannounced. She lives 3 minutes away and her husband runs his shop from their house, so everyone just shows up. I wouldn’t show up to my brother’s without being invited. He lives 45 minutes away and his wife has (very reasonably!) made it clear she’s not comfortable with unannounced guests.

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pippintook24@reddit

no. my sisters live in different states than me, and other than not being close to my brother, he's dead, so him popping in would definitely freak me out.

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SnowblindAlbino@reddit

Mine lives 2,980 miles away by road. So no, we don't drop in on one another for quick visits.

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car55tar5@reddit

The only person I want to see showing up at my house unannounced are my two partners. Anyone else, text me first! And frankly, partners should do the same, lol. I would *never* just show up at someone's home without warning, it seems super inconsiderate.

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Floater439@reddit

They could just stop by, of course, but a “hey you home?” text and ten mins warning is generally preferred so they don’t catch me without pants. Generally, though, American families tend to be fairly relaxed and informal. Stopping by with short notice is fine.

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Original_Cable6719@reddit

My brother had agoraphobia and bipolar and was very unresponsive to texts or calls sometimes. I would absolutely stop by to drop something off even if he didn’t respond to my text/calls, but I would still call/text first because manners. (Part of the reason I’d still stop by is that I would want to check on him.)

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jessper17@reddit

I’d have to drive 120 miles to do that but even when I lived close, I’d ask if it was ok to show up.

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Taz9093@reddit

The only house I would show up unannounced is parents’ house. They live a half of block away from me.

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Burnt_and_Blistered@reddit

My sister would be fine—but surprised—if I just showed up. And vice versa.

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FeelTheWrath79@reddit

I don’t want my sister to know where i live as she likes meth.

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Out_of_the_Flames@reddit

It depends on how far away they are, whether they'll be staying the night, And how our relationship is doing. My sister and I live pretty far away from each other, if I was going to visit it wouldn't be for just 30 minutes and I would definitely call first. However, if she lived closer I think she and I are working on the kind of relationship where we could drop in on unanounced at each other's houses on days like weekends and holidays.

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Defiant_Ingenuity_55@reddit

As adults I don't assume to know their schedule so I always at least text to see if I'll be wasting a trip. The closest relative is about an hours drive away. If they lived somewhere I could casually pass by, I may just drop in.

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strawbeebop@reddit

Everyone in my family calls to let you know they're coming over, unless you're my older sister. She thinks my mom's house is hers to walk into at all hours even though she's 35 with 4 kids.

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SuperPomegranate7933@reddit

I don't think it's appropriate to just show up anywhere ever.

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SkyPuppy561@reddit

My sister lives like 8 hours away so no lol. We plan visits months in advance.

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onetimequestion66@reddit

I’m in Michigan, my sister is in New York, and my brother is in Florida, tough to drop by for a few minutes

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AfternoonPossible@reddit

One of my brothers lives a few blocks from me so I go over pretty frequently. However, I always call or text first.

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willtag70@reddit

I'm certain it depends on the relationship. Some siblings can drop in on each other no problem. My brother lives a few hundred miles away and I would never just show up at his door unannounced, nor would he visit me that way. But no doubt for some who live close and and have good relationships it would be fine. There's no cultural rule, it's just personal.

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AlabasterPelican@reddit

My sister lives several states away, so calling would be advised. As for the family closer by, my older relatives are carefree on a call ahead. Younger relatives would appreciate a heads up, though they wouldn't complain to you, they would be calling someone to bitch afterwards.

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whysmiherr@reddit

My sisters are 90 minutes away so we plan a few weeks ahead. If they were close by I would probably text or call to make sure that they were home

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ApprehensiveBlock847@reddit

It would be really weird since both of my sisters live a 5-hour drive away 😄 But when I lived near family, it was not unusual to see them for short periods of time because we could see each other whenever so we didn't have to spend hours catching up.

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Wadsworth_McStumpy@reddit

My brother lives about half an hour away. I'd call first, to make sure that he'll be home. If he lived just down the road, I'd probably just stop by, and if he wasn't there, I'd go home.

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obtusewisdom@reddit

Depends entirely on the family.

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2baverage@reddit

Depending on the nature of the visit I will either call on my way over to make sure she's home (if I'm just dropping something off I'll let her know what it is, where I'm putting it, and then I'll use my key) or I'll call or text a day or two in advance, let her know the details and then we work out a good time to come over. My sisters and I all live within a 5 minute drive of each other, but we all have kids and work slightly different hours from home, so sometimes even just opening the door can mess up a presentation or meeting.

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Frosty_Helicopter730@reddit

This is probably one of those things that vary from family to family. My family is close (physically and emotionally 😂), but we all like even a few minutes of a heads up. Someone might prefer a chance to change, potty, scoop the litter box, pick up the laundry on the floor, or hide the weird whatever. But, if someone needs to come by urgently, that's fine. At a minimum, it helps to know if it's a good time or if they are even home. Even if I'm dropping off a dish, I'll see if they are home first to see if we can chat. If not, it's fine, I'll go anyway and leave the dish on the table. With our parents, my brother and I might find out that they will be home all day and would welcome a visit. Then, we might just show up at any point that day. Lol. We'd plan more with each other, unless it's an emergency. Most people I know text (or call) first.

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chevy42083@reddit

Thats a personal preference thing, not a cultural thing.

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Pippinsmom19@reddit

Call to make sure they will be home.

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LuckyNerve@reddit

If I find myself near my brother’s or sister in law’s home or job I would send a text before coming by but not necessarily plan before a casual visit. I can’t imagine not at least texting first - it seems disrespectful. I’m in my late 50s for context.

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JenniferJuniper6@reddit

I would never show up without calling, and I’d hate it if someone did it to me.

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Inspi@reddit

It's be really surprised if one stopped by since I don't have any siblings.

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Floopydoodler@reddit

I would just stop by and that would be fine. But I always call because she has 5 kids and chances are pretty good she’s not home.

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CantHostCantTravel@reddit

I would never just show up at someone’s door unannounced, even if it was my close family member. That’s extremely rude. I always text first.

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Careless-Impress-952@reddit

Kinda hard, since we live in different states. But I travel there once a year and have dinner with them

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Saltpork545@reddit

My family is over 400 miles away. I visit a couple of times a year. Before this we lived in the same place. Call before visiting, or a text. Some communication. If we're not in houses next to each other, I'm not just going to show up.

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snowellechan77@reddit

My mom tends to just show up. I really, really wish she'd call or text

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CanaKitty@reddit

I would call/text first to see if she’s around and it’s okay. And if they weren’t around and I was already in the area, if I needed to return a dish, I’d drop by and leave it by the front door. (I fortunately live in an area where it’s safe to do that.)

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tacitjane@reddit

I don't just pass by my family's homes like we live in the same borough. Visits don't happen without planning. Even when we lived in the same city. Just five miles can easily take longer than 30 minutes. So, yes, calling ahead is essential. Also, how would you know if they're home? Even if *I am* home, I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone. I'm usually nowhere near the front room and I don't have a doorbell. I was hanging out with a cousin of mine last year. He had so many keys! He would just let himself in and announce his presence. But they *did* live in the same area and saw each other nearly every day. I'm a wee bit jealous.

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animepuppyluvr@reddit

Even if my brother wasn't across the country, it's rude af to just show up without calling first. What if he already has company? What if hes5napping or in the shower? What if he's not even home? I could never.

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Forward-Wear7913@reddit

My family always calls or text first before coming by.

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DidAnyoneFeedTheDog@reddit

I was raised to never show u unannounced. I don't need to be interrupting anyone's "personal time."

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Impressive-Fig1876@reddit

My SIL shows up unannounced and it drives me nuts

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splorp_evilbastard@reddit

I would text to make sure they're home.

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Nimzay98@reddit

Depends, if I'm out and about in their area, I might stop in and say hi. If I need to drop something off, I'll text to see if they're home. I have access to my nearby siblings and moms place, they wouldn't care if I stopped over to grab something and they are not home.

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SabresBills69@reddit

If they are in the same area id contact first yo coordinate s time to pick x up

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Elegant-Analyst-7381@reddit

A long time ago, when I was a kid, it was pretty common for friends and family to show up unannounced. Our front doors were often kept unlocked and people would just show up. These days, I would never stop by someone's house without calling and texting first. It's considered pretty rude - you never know what they're doing. I personally like being nude in my house, so advance notice is necessary if you don't want to catch sight of my old, naked body.

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Succulent_Roses@reddit

My mom's sister moved to our town, but we still only saw them on special occasions. But I think my mom would visit a couple times a month when we were in school. I would be surprised if it were more often.

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Next_Sun_2002@reddit

Building off of u/BoysenberryUnhappy29, unless they live in walking distance a visit that short isn’t really worth the trip. My closest sibling lives over 50 miles away, that’s over an hour’s drive. So when he comes to visit he stays about nine hours. My other siblings live in different states so they have to fly and then drive here. No way are they gonna visit for only 30 minutes

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jp11e3@reddit

COMPLETELY depends on the family

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FormerlyDK@reddit

Call or text before dropping in.

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rosietherosebud@reddit

Even if I lived close enough, I would call my siblings ahead of time. But my dad's siblings do generally just show up and walk in the door.

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disapproving_cake@reddit

Depends on the dynamic of each relationship. One sister I would walk in her house even if she wasn't home. Another sister I would call first. The third I wouldn't visit unless it was life or death. The fourth doesn't even know my name.

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Pied_Kindler@reddit

My sister lives next door but I still usually call her first in case she's busy. My parents are also close but I don't always call them first. Sometimes my kids will run over to one of their places without me noticing first but usually I give them a heads up for them too.

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tsukiii@reddit

Yeah, I text to make sure she’s home/isn’t busy with other things.

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59chevyguy@reddit

My sister lives 800 miles away and we never talk to each other. I imagine I’d call first.

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MessoGesso@reddit

We generally don’t visit. I last visited my eldest sister about 9 years ago when I was looking for a place to stay to avoid a hurricane. It was a long time ago and I can’t remember if we communicated by text or phone call.

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i-might-do-that@reddit

I would but my older brother is developmentally disabled and doesn’t drive, my older sister lives in NC and I’m in CO, and my little brother is an anxious paranoid shut-in that doesn’t do anything. I’d love to have my siblings over but literally none of them can, or in the case of my little bro, won’t.

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breebop83@reddit

If I’m visiting anyone, I’m going to call or text first- I want to make sure they are home, have pants on and that I’m not interrupting any plans. I would also prefer a heads up for the same reasons. Also, I don’t answer the door if I don’t know someone is coming.

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No_Outcome2321@reddit

My siblings live about 2-3 hours away (except one that lives states away) if I’m visiting they expect me to stay overnight. My niece however I will go visit and half the time if she’s not home I’ll just chill with the dogs.

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steely_92@reddit

I couldn't imagine just showing up at someone's house without letting them know first, even my siblings. First of all, it's polite, but from a practical standpoint, how do you even know they are home?

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ZaphodG@reddit

My sister, RIP, lived in another country 3,000 miles away.

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BookLuvr7@reddit

My siblings live in different states, and my brother decided I was his "nemesis" decades ago for reasons that only exist in his head. So no. I chat with my sister online on a fairly regular basis though. That's the best we can do from over 600 miles/965.6km apart.

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jeremyw0918@reddit

I live 1,500 miles from any family. A call or text is definitely happening first!

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llamadolly85@reddit

My brother and I (adults) live together by choice - he and his partner rent a couple of rooms from me. I knock (or text) before entering his space but the rest of the house is open access so he doesn't call me first unless I'm in my room with the door shut. :-)

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Excellent_Speech_901@reddit

That's 120 miles and 1200 miles. No, we don't just drop by.

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Adorable_Dust3799@reddit

I never expect anyone to be home, and it they are they're likely either working or have kids over

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CaptainPunisher@reddit

Most often she knows I'm coming by, and I'll just walk in when I get there. Even when she doesn't, I'll just walk in and announce myself. The family knows that the vast majority of strangers aren't just going to walk into a house uninvited.

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Professor_Anxiety@reddit

It takes us longer to get to each other's houses than 30 minutes, so no.

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SuspiciousZombie788@reddit

My sisters live 4 hours away, so I'd probably text the group chat with days that I will be in town. And I wouldn't visit for just 30 minutes. But even if they lived closer, I would absolutely text first to make sure they were home and available. It would be rude not to.

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Q8DD33C7J8@reddit

I'm essentially an only child. I'm the second family. No cheating just second marriage. So I have a half brother and a half sister. My brother hates me with a fiery passion that surprises even me. My sister moved away in her mid twenties and had little to no contact with us. She moved back last year and expected me to just love her automatically. Ma'am I don't even know you. So no I don't invite either of them over for any length visits.

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GraceIsGone@reddit

My sister lives down the street from me. It’d be perfectly acceptable for either of us to just show up at the other’s house but we usually talk before hand. I see her every day when I pick her kids up for school so we usually plan for the rest of the day if we’re going to see each other or not.

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blonktime@reddit

My sister is busy, and I'm busy. Who knows what she's up to at any given time. I'm definitely not driving 45 minutes out of my way to go drop in without calling first to make sure she is there and available. Also, it's just a respect thing IMO. Maybe she's busy, maybe she's tired, maybe she's just not in the mood to chat, maybe she and her husband are doing things I'd rather not be a part of... In any case, I always connect with her before I go visit her. Maybe later in life when we slow down and have more free time, and if we live closer to each other, just dropping in can be an option, but right now, life is too chaotic for both of us to do it.

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Kooky_Ad_5139@reddit

I will usually text and check for my sister, she has kids and a million places to be everyday so I don't want to be a burden. My brother is not a dad and I know his activity schedule so I'm more likely to just drop in with him tho.

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Girlwithnoprez@reddit

If I called first my siblings would think something is wrong so no I just show up

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Zealousideal_Ad_8736@reddit

Yes, I always call. A few are retired, but we're not the 'drop in unannounced' type of people. However, when my Mom was alive, we'd stop by all the time.

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ShoddyCobbler@reddit

My siblings live 100 miles and 450 miles away, so no

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glueintheworld@reddit

I live in the same city as my siblings. I would never just show up at their door. Just showing up at anyone's house is rude.

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ConvivialKat@reddit

I never just drop in on anyone. Not even my sister.

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CtForrestEye@reddit

One's 400 miles away and the other is 1,000 miles away so visiting is planned.

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-Boston-Terrier-@reddit

This sub is so weird. I wouldn’t care if anyone stopped by unannounced but I especially wouldn’t care if it was an immediate family member or close friend.

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ACam574@reddit

I don’t visit my siblings. For the most part they are racist entitled a-holes who blame everyone else for the results of their decisions.

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J662b486h@reddit

Less a matter of culturally acceptable and more a matter of finding out if they're going to be home, as opposed to out shopping or something.

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Annual-Duck5818@reddit

PLEASE call or text. Even if my house is presentable and the guest bathroom is clean, etc - I want to be able to have an “out” if I don’t feel like visitors.

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Gladys_Balzitch@reddit

I always text to let someone know I'm coming by. My mom lives six blocks away and we text eachother before visiting eachother. I help an elderly lady sometimes who just shows up at my house and it drives me nuts 😂 she doesn't know how to work her phone so she just pulls up to my house yelling my name. I hate not having a heads up. Point is, I let people know, always, kuz I hate when people don't let me know 🥲

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Lucky_Ad2801@reddit

These days it doesn't matter if the person is related or not.You should always call or text ahead and notify somebody if you are planning to stop by.

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sjd208@reddit

My siblings are both close by but they’re out of the house a lot so always text first My mom stops by my house a lot to do stuff with my teens (they arrange between the 2 of them) or to drop things off. We live 5 min from where she runs most of her errands.

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lapaperscissors@reddit

Always text. My brother works and travels a lot, so he’s a bit hard to schedule with.

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FairestofthemAlll@reddit

With everyone but my parents I call or text.

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killersoda@reddit

I don't know, let me go downstairs and ask him.

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sadrice@reddit

I would if my sister were remotely local. I would have to fly there and ask in advance. However, if she were local, I would probably do that. I would call or text to inform her that she is about to get a large box of lemons or persimmons, or a bucket of walnuts or a flat of plants.

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blipsman@reddit

Given how easy it is to call or text, yeah I'd communicate first. Also, my brother's family about about 30-40 minutes away, so I most likely wouldn't just pop over for something so quick

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ApprehensiveFox8844@reddit

My sister lives 300 miles away so I would call and make sure she’s home first lol

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hollowbolding@reddit

i would never turn up at someone's place of residence unannounced and uninvited unless in state of active emergency

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sarahgene@reddit

It would be inconsiderate to show up at someone's house with no warning. I am very close to my sister, and if she just showed up at my front door I would assume there was some horrible tragedy or emergency happening.

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vwisp@reddit

I have just shown up, but called when I was on my way (about 30 minutes notice) now I live 6 hours drive away 521 km so I text the week before to verify it would be a good time to spend a few days at her house

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tigerowltattoo@reddit

I always call first. Even though they are likely home, I don’t just drop in.

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My_Lovely_Me@reddit

I'm never okay with anyone dropping by my place unannounced, no matter who it is, so I don't do that to others. I always make sure it's a good time.

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legally_brunette_01@reddit

My brother and I live very close together and sometimes I’ll have reason to stop by but always call or send a “is now a good time?” message. I have his location so I know when he’s there but he could be busy or it could just be a bad time. It’s just so easy to check in with him in advance and possibly save both of us time. I don’t think he’d be mad if I showed up unannounced but could end up sending me away if he’s in the middle of something.

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GozyNYR@reddit

My nearest sibling is 800 miles away, with most being 1500+, so we typically call first. (Although it’s definitely fun when we don’t.)

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iolaus79@reddit

He'd get a text to say are you in

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Shadeauxmarie@reddit

Always call first. You never know what kind of kinky stuff they’re into and how long it would take to extricate themselves from their scene.

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Whatisthisnonsense22@reddit

One sister lives 4 hours away, the other 2000 miles. I'm giving them a heads up.

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ARatOnATrain@reddit

My family will stop by unannounced if they are in the area. They usually check ahead if they plan to hang out.

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doodynutz@reddit

I have never just dropped by my sisters house. We aren’t close like that.

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Zealousideal_Cod5214@reddit

Call first. I don't know if she's home or if she's busy. It's also what I would want if she were coming over. I don't want to be surprised by somebody coming to my place when I'm not expecting it. This goes for anybody.

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Foreign_Mobile_7399@reddit

My sister lives 10 min from me but I still would at least call or text before showing up

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Cathode335@reddit

I don't have a sibling nearby, but I have an aunt who lives in the same town, and she frequently just shows up.

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insertcaffeine@reddit

I always call first, and so do my brothers, even when we lived close to each other.

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Fishtails@reddit

For my brother and I, we drop in on each other. Live 1 mile away. Sometimes I'll call him just to see if he's home even if I'm already on my way there. I know that's not most people. We are 42 and 48. Both have families but we are very close.

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DudeIJustWannaWrite@reddit

I usually text first before any plans. We meet up at college and get lunch sometimes (I pay since I invite her), but I always ask approval

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DawaLhamo@reddit

Not in my family - we call first. I want 24 hours notice if I can help it, to pick up. We're not too messy, but we don't live "company ready" 24/7.

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happygoth6370@reddit

I would agree with that for friends or acquaintances, but I'm fine with my sisters and brother seeing my house not picture-perfect, lol.

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caf61@reddit

If I’m dropping off something non perishable it would depend on if I wanted to actually see them. 😉

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NoneOfThisMatters_XO@reddit

I’d probably text first to make sure she was home

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Firestar463@reddit

Generally, I will give anyone who isn't expecting me to visit at least a half hour heads up before I stop by, unless it's literally to walk in and drop something off or pick it up, in which case I will call as soon as I am aware the trip needs to be made. Give them a chance to pick a few things up in the front room, put on pants as needed, etc.

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LadySandry88@reddit

I will always give them a heads-up, if only because they have lives and might not be home, and it's not like I have a key to their house.

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Objective-Ad5620@reddit

I’d text first just because but I know I’m welcome over any time. Also I live in a different state so I’m not just going to drop in. My whole family shares our location with each other so when we do have set plans I often check where he is so I know when to expect him.

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nogueydude@reddit

My sister lives across the street. We see her all the time

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backroadsdrifter@reddit

There isn’t one social norm for everyone in America. This varies from family to family

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yourmommasfriend@reddit

People used to just drop in all the time...but we got old and its a long drive out in the country

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kbivs@reddit

On the flip side, I would appreciate a heads up that someone is coming over no matter who it was. I don't care if it's a friend, sibling, or parent.

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RVA_1989@reddit

I would text or call first.

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Barfotron4000@reddit

It depends. My uncle lived next door to us so we freely went between houses but I live many thousands of miles away…. But that one particular uncle I probably could just walk in and he’d be happy to see me

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turtlespice@reddit

The closest one (by far) is 4 hours away. The others are 22.5 hours and 37 hours away.

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Lugbor@reddit

Always check first. There's no point wasting your time and gas money driving over if they're not home.

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MonteCristo85@reddit

Yeah, I'd text before hand. Except my dad's. I just show up there whenever.

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Carinyosa99@reddit

My brother lives just 5-10 minutes away. We always text/call before heading over for a quick stop because we don't want to drive only to find out no one is home.

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SnooStrawberries2955@reddit

Nah, call first. Even when my brother was just next door I’d still always call.

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Opening-Advice@reddit

I would always call or text just to make sure they were home. And not hosting other guests or something

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NarwhalZiesel@reddit

I would totally show up or let them show up and we live 30 min to an hour apart. We can track each others phones, so I know if they are home and we all have keys to each others houses. We don’t do it often, but once in a while. We do talk every day.

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TissBish@reddit

Depends on the sibling, honestly. My sister I’m closest with, we just show up often enough that we’re used to it. Although I love all my siblings, not all of us get along so well, so yeah there’s some I def would call before dropping something off, even if I wasn’t staying

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SubUrbanMess2021@reddit

My brother lives five minutes away from me. I would never go to his house without calling him first. He would never stop in without calling me first. We’re both in our 60’s and we’ve done it this way since we moved out of our parents house.

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shammy_dammy@reddit

Call first.

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phydaux4242@reddit

My mother & her sisters would pop in without a single thought. In fact if they found out one of the sisters was in the neighborhood and DIDN’T pop in then they would be pissed. But it drove my old man batshit. “They always show up at dinner time!” These days you call before you even leave your own house. And you brace yourself to be told “oh, now isn’t good…”

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throwawaygiusto1@reddit

I would text first in case they’re doing something that they wouldn’t want to be disturbed.

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earfeater13@reddit

I havent spoken to my brother in years...so naw lol.

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Ravenclaw79@reddit

Call. Always call.

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river-running@reddit

I would text first to make sure it's ok, that he was home at the time, and didn't have any plans that would conflict. He also lives a little under two hours away, so there would be at least some advance planning unless it was an emergency.

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Regigiformayor@reddit

My brother and I will have a short visit, but usually text first to see if they are home. When my parents lived locally, I would stop by their house unannounced, and they would do the same.

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PhiloLibrarian@reddit

I see my sister a few times a year - she lives about 2 hours away.

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Bluemonogi@reddit

My brother and sister live 2 1/2 to 3 hour drive away. I would arrange a day and time to visit. When I lived in the same area I would still have called my siblings instead of just showing up because they might not be home or ready for visitors.

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flugualbinder@reddit

As an only child, this is not applicable.

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Mr_MacGrubber@reddit

I won’t stop by my next door neighbor without checking first.

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DirectorHuman5467@reddit

This varies by family. There is no one answer.

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JuanSolo9669@reddit

If I'm in the area I just show up.

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WhatAWeek25@reddit

For anyone that’s a drive away I’ll text but my neighbors and local friends, we just walk over a ring the bell. And it’s works great!

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MarsicanBear@reddit

Canadian, but....we are welcome st each others houses but would probably text first to see if they are home.

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Crayshack@reddit

My nearest sibling lives about an hour and a half from me.

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qu33nof5pad35@reddit

My sister lives on the other side of the country, so no.

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ketzusaka@reddit

I’m an only child, but i’d hate anyone showing up at any time. I’m always busy and trying to accomplish something and wouldn’t like a random interruption.

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Sudden_Outcome_9503@reddit

At the very least, I text "I'm on my way".

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Relevant_Airline7076@reddit

All of my siblings are 100s of miles away (from me and each other), but if we were local to each other we’d probably have keys and would just check find my friends to see if the other was home and show up

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dehydratedrain@reddit

I always call, but only because I hate when people drop in.

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factfarmer@reddit

I always call to see if it’s a good time. Not to mention, rude.

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lsp2005@reddit

We call and text. It is rude to show up uninvited.

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needsmorequeso@reddit

Always text first to make sure it’s a good time. Plus we are all talkers. No visit will only last half an hour. Hence you have to make sure it’s a good time.

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CaptainMalForever@reddit

I live 3 hours from my sister. I don't drive that without planning ahead. I live 30 minutes from my closest in-law. Again, I check ahead.

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mind_the_umlaut@reddit

Absolutely, positively, call first and get approval. I could stop by and silently hang a bag of zucchini on the doorknob then leave, but I can do that with anyone.

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PM_Me_Ur_Nevermind@reddit

I would want to know if she was home first

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famousanonamos@reddit

Every family is different. I don't live close enough for a pop over, so it would be unusual. I would at least send a text. I would love it if any of mine dropped by.

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GhostOfJamesStrang@reddit

We would arrange it via text.

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machagogo@reddit

I usually text to say I'm headed over, we both have crazy schedules with work and kids. He lives a block away.

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semisubterranean@reddit

It's so easy to text. Why wouldn't you? It would be annoying to come over if they aren't home. It takes 10 hours of driving to see my brother, but I have other family nearby who would welcome me if I just showed up, but I wouldn't want to without telling them first.

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sharonclaws@reddit

As an introvert, I really appreciate the cultural shift to calling or texting before showing up.

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ABelleWriter@reddit

If my sisters still lived in dropping in distance I would text first. So would they.

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Studious_Noodle@reddit

Anyone with any manners either texts or calls first. It's rude to just show up, no matter who the person is.

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omgikr77@reddit

My brother lives next door. 50 feet away. I just walk in

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Adorable-Growth-6551@reddit

My brothers and all stayed in State, but it is still a 2 hoyr drive to one and a 3 hour drive to the other. So yes, i generally call ahead. On very rare occasions, if i am traveling through, i might make an unannounced visit to my parents, 1 hour, but usually we just check in no matter what. If we were closer, an unannounced visit would probably be acceptable. My husbands sister is close enough that i occasionally pop over. They have come by our house occasionally too. Though usually we do call first and it is rarely the only reason we are there, they live 15 minutes away.

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lurking_mz@reddit

Depends on your relationship. Some are comfortable and encourage stopping by, some like their privacy and want heads up if someone stops by.

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Jewish-Mom-123@reddit

I’d never come without a text or call first.

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bloodectomy@reddit

I would be ok with any of my siblings just appearing (but also surprised and concerned as none of them live anywhere near me)

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Grilled_Cheese10@reddit

I'd have a heart attack. So I always contact everyone first. Only person who I'm okay with surprising me is my children. Everyone else I'd be really annoyed. My daughter lives in an apartment attached to my house, so she shows up whenever. One day last fall she got to work and there was a power outage, so everyone got sent home. She woke me from a dead sleep when she opened my door and yelled, "Mom!" I jumped up, immediately became dizzy, wobbled around a bit but couldn't find anything to hold, hit my head on the wall and fell hard enough on the tile floor to knock the wind out of me. She saw me fall, then gasping for breath for what felt like quite a while, and she thought I was having a seizure. Had a knot on my head in 2 places and somehow various cuts, scapes, and bruises. She took me to the ER. So even my daughter now makes sure she contacts me before she suddenly shows up during working hours when I would least expect it.

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Grilled_Cheese10@reddit

I'd have a heart attack. So I always contact everyone first. Only person who I'm okay with surprising me is my son. Everyone else I'd be really annoyed.

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Significant_Bid2142@reddit

It's not a culture thing, it's a practical thing. I would check before if they'll be home.

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StinkieBritches@reddit

I would call because one sister is always busy and might not be at home and another sister lives on the opposite side of the country.

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SuperPetty-2305@reddit

Back when my sister and I were on speaking terms we would occasionally go to the others house for a quick visit.

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ZetaWMo4@reddit

My brothers live on the same street as me and I just text their wives. I’m closer to them anyway.

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NecessaryPopular1@reddit

Even if my sister lived next door, call me before showing up and get the green light from me first or I won’t be available.

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sneezhousing@reddit

If they lived close by I would. Make sure they are home and it was a good time. The only person I show up unannounced is my parents

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AlDef@reddit

Haven't spoken to my brother in 3 years. Sister I talk to every single day via text and I would never show up at her place without calling/texting first.

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cat_prophecy@reddit

I only have one sister that lives nearby, but she's over for dinner at least bi-weekly. I probably see her more than I see my mom and she lives literally 2 blocks away. But yes, calling (texting) first is proper form. The only people I wouldn't be totally weirded out by showing up unannounced are my boomer relatives.

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Interesting-Long-534@reddit

I would text to make sure she was around

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brookmachine@reddit

I grew up in a no boundaries house in the 90’s. All our family lived close by and we were the only ones who had a pool so especially in the summer it was an unending cycle of visitors. Even when we weren’t home all the important people knew that the basement was unlocked so if they came to swim they could use the bathroom down there. My sister and I both had to adjust to different norms when we married and moved out. Now I live about 400 miles from family so nobody is just popping by

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Aggravating_Kale9788@reddit

It is never acceptable to just show up unannounced, unless you were invited to do so, but even then a 15-30 minute warning text is the norm. I might not be home and if I am, I'm probably not dressed for company and my house is not picked up of clutter. Give me a 30 minute warning so I can put real clothes on and shove all my crap out of sight.

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verminiusrex@reddit

I text to see if she'll even be home. Stopping by without notice usually means something is very wrong, or I'm returning something that can be left outside her door.

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WhatABeautifulMess@reddit

My brothers don't even live in this timezone so I'd expect them to call. My in laws live ~15mins away and they let us know if they're stopping by to return something to make sure we'll be home and just for courtesy's sake. Most people would consider it a little strange and maybe even rude to just pop in unannounced unless you live very close and just walked over or we're stopping by on the way somewhere. If they came unannounced I'd expect them to be literally dropping something off/picking something up, not hanging around for half an hour. My husband is known to stand around and chat in these cases, I generally don't.

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Accomplished_Lack243@reddit

My family is pretty relaxed. We are rural and TN. Most people here walk in family, knock with neighbors. I would just walk in, but yell "knock, knock" to let them know I'm walking in. I recently knocked at my sister's house and she was offended 😆

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Alternative-Row812@reddit

I just drop by. Very often. She does the same. I might call if it was something that I needed her to be home for, but that doesn't happen too often.

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JunkMale975@reddit

I’ve 2 brothers. One shows up whenever. Raids my refrigerator so I keep it stocked with his favorites. The other texts and says “I’m on my way.” We ask when and the answer is usually “5 minutes.” He lives 30 minutes away.

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a-fabulous-sandwich@reddit

I would if I could.

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Riker_Omega_Three@reddit

Where I am from, the pop in visit is not something people do I think it's as much cultural as it is location specific My siblings and I live about 30 minutes away from each other. So a pop in visit doesn't make sense And they all know I HATE people who stop by without calling first so nobody does that to me But I think if we all lived in a city...where we were often around each other's homes during the day, it might be more common place (at least for them...not me since I am the one who thinks it's rude to just stop by and expect people to drop what they are doing to entertain you)

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_haha_oh_wow_@reddit

Yes, definitely call ahead unless it's an emergency (even then, call ahead when possible) just so you don't surprise them or show up and they're gone/busy.

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Hybrid487@reddit

Definitely text to make sure they're home

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voteblue18@reddit

Yes. We live an hour and a half apart so want to make sure he’s around and not busy. He has a lot going on, kids, work etc. I would check first even if he lived in my town. It’s not because he wouldn’t welcome me, it’s just showing respect for his time.

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amyayou@reddit

I pull into my sister’s driveway and text “what are you doing?” And proceed from there lol

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the_vole@reddit

My sister lives on the other side of town. If I’m coming over, I’ll text to let them know. I don’t really have to “ask,” if there’s a reason she don’t want me there, she’ll tell me

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BouncingSphinx@reddit

If I lived close enough, it would be a quick call or text. Me: You busy? Them: No, why? Me: I’m coming over for a bit.

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My_phone_wont_charge@reddit

Depends on how close y’all are. I can drop in on my parents or brother without notice but not my sister.

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PuzzledKumquat@reddit

Call, always. And since we live about an hour drive apart, when we visit, it's for several hours to make the drive worth it.

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SecretCitizen40@reddit

This isn't really an American thing. This is going to come down to vicinity (USA is large and many wont live near their siblings) and individual relationships. My siblings and I won't call/text and won't even knock. We just walk in like we live there. I've come home from work to my sister sitting on my couch because she can't by for whatever reason and got there before me so decided to wait for me to get home. This isn't the norm. I'd say most people will call/text first just to make sure they're not interrupting something or that the sibling will be there. There's going to be a large spectrum here and I doing think American cultural norms will factor in much.

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DLQuilts@reddit

I call first bc that’s what I want other people to do for me.

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alphaturducken@reddit

I have a key to his house and know his security code, I'll just show up and drop it off and go. But it's probably a good idea to call first. Or at least text.

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AuggieNorth@reddit

Texting only takes a second or two, so it's kind of rude now to just show up at people's houses with no warning. Things have changed since I was young and that was normal.

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Extra_Shirt5843@reddit

If people just randomly show up at my house, I pretend I'm not home. 😆 Only partially kidding, though. I would never just show up without contacting someone and would prefer they do the same.

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AmandaWildflower@reddit

No…. She lives out of state. 5 hour drive for 30 minute visit.

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rexeditrex@reddit

"Hey, I was thinking of stopping by, will you be home?"

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limbodog@reddit

My mother's family were all about the "just walk right in" culture. I always found that to be weird/rude.

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ModernPrometheus0729@reddit

I call just to make sure that they’re home but it wouldn’t be an issue if I simply came over though. But I do have an amazing relationship with my brother though.

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CuriousExpression876@reddit

Yes I live 25 min from my brother, I wouldn’t show up unannounced. I am like 5 minutes from my in-laws, I don’t show up there unannounced either.

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Top_Main_1628@reddit

My sister? Yes. My mom? Absolutely not I will be busting up in there like I own the place.

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OceanPoet87@reddit

Mine aren't close enough but always ask first.

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rjtnrva@reddit

We make plans in advance.

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Sorcha9@reddit

I live far from my sibling. And I don’t often go to their houses when I visit.

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hobokobo1028@reddit

My SIL comes over maybe three or four afternoons a week or so to help entertain the toddler so my wife and I can get basic chores done. Usually doesn’t text us but we don’t mind

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ApprehensiveArmy7755@reddit

I'd call. It's considered rude to just drop by. Not everyone is "polite". People are naked, or sick, or sleeping, or with friends, or are busy, or are out of the home. I'd never ride 30 minutes to drop off a dish- unless you are prepared to leave it on the front doorstep. With cell phones- there is never a reason to just show up. Call first.

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eyrefan@reddit

None of us would care if the another showed up out of the blue. But we do usually give a quick text or call to make sure the sibling is home.

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TheOnlyJimEver@reddit

In the past, that was fine, but with the advent of texting, there's no reason not to text first, even if just to make sure they'll be home.

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No-Profession422@reddit

I always call first. It's not a quick visit. She's 2,000 miles away.

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Open_Confidence_9349@reddit

My brother lives over an hour away. I have a key to his house. I text first.

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Longwell2020@reddit

All family has pop in rights.

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lavasca@reddit

Wow!

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redditer-56448@reddit

My family all lives within a 15-minute drive. If i had something to drop off, I'd probably just show up (but not at an inconvenient time, like if it's probably dinnertime, for instance). They would do the same. Sometimes we'll text each other to let them know we're on our way. But we have keys/codes to get into each others' homes, or live where it's not an issue to just drop something off on the porch/garage if they're not home.

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PrpleSparklyUnicrn13@reddit

Of course I would call or text, first. What if she’s not home, or busy? Is that a cultural thing to just show up at someone’s house unannounced for a 30 minute visit? I mean, as kids we used to go to friends that lived in the neighborhood, but most of us didn’t have access to phones back then. But as adults - you call (or text), first.

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MillieBirdie@reddit

I'd call because I want to make sure they're home, and because it's polite.

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gunterrae@reddit

My sister lives with my 89 year old dad, where it has always been acceptable to show up whenever. Even now, my cousin stops in every morning for coffee with him, and doesn't knock, just lets himself in and hangs out. My siblings who live in their own houses? I would 100% call. I don't show up at anyone else's house unannounced.

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Pretty_Please1@reddit

For the most part, my sister and I would come and go freely from each other’s homes if we lived nearby. My husband and his sister would strictly be “ask first”. It depends on the relationship.

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WinterBourne25@reddit

I don’t live near family. We are military and spread out because of it.

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pikkdogs@reddit

Would usually text to see if it’s okay. But I’ve had people show up before, it’s okay if it’s family and there is a reason. But texting beforehand is nice.

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Afterlast1@reddit

I'd have to get on a 10 hour flight to see my brother but sure, I'd show up unannounced. That would be hilarious

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lavasca@reddit

Absolutely would text/call first. My family is very big on *not* answering the door for unexpected guests.

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Believe_In_Magic@reddit

My sister works inconsistent hours and my brother travels a lot for work and they both live about an hour away from me, so I'd call first to see if they're home. My parents live close by and sometimes I'll just stop by when I'm in their town running errands.

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nomuggle@reddit

I have one sibling that live a 4 hour drive away and another than is a 4 hour plane ride away, so no.

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ca77ywumpus@reddit

I call or text to make sure he's home and in the mood for visitors. (and wearing pants.) If I'm just dropping something off, I make sure it's ok to enter his place if he's not home.

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TM4256@reddit

My sister and I lived 5 blocks from each other and even though I could just go knock on her door and she could mine. I would also call or text first. Sometimes even from the corner before I walked down her block. Even if I had to borrow or return something or pick something up.

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Far_Silver@reddit

It depends on the family. Even if you're in a family where people show up unannounced though, it's still better to call in advance to be sure they don't have any plans.

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TTHS_Ed@reddit

No one just drops in unannounced at my house or the houses of friends and family. My siblings all live in other states, but my m-i-l lives less than a mile away. She would never just show up without calling or texting first.

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Nodeal_reddit@reddit

People stopped showing up at other people’s homes unannounced around 2002.

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SKULLDIVERGURL@reddit

I usually text to make sure she is home but not always. She lives about 7 minutes from my house. But we don’t knock on each other’s doors… we have keys if the door is locked. Same with parent’s house but no text/call first because he is always home.

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Rhiannon1954@reddit

I call. At one time I lived downthe block from my MIL, she NEVER showed up at my house without calling and seeing if it was convenient. I have tried to emulate her.

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_that_dude_J@reddit

I have keys to their place and vice versa. Most of the time we let each other know (text) when we're visiting but sometimes we just show up. If there's an emergency, they are over in a jiffy.

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VisibleSea4533@reddit

I’d text first just to let them know that I am coming. Never show up unannounced.

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Nottacod@reddit

They live 5 1/2 hours away, so no. When they visit, I provide accomodation and it would be a minimum of 2 days, unless they are just passing through to somewhere else.

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Traveling-Techie@reddit

My wife’s cousin once showed up at our door unannounced, bypassing security. To add to the excitement we had just moved 2000 miles to where we thought we didn’t know anyone, and we didn’t know he existed. It turned out he worked the same place I did. Wife’s mom told him how to find us. It was funny, but frankly we wouldn’t let anyone else get away with this.

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RevolutionaryRow1208@reddit

It would be courteous to call or text just like it would be with anyone else. My sister has a life...she's busy...she may not be home...she might have plans...she might be getting ready or just getting set to head out the door. I would not like it if any of my family just showed up unannounced.

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MrsMorley@reddit

I would call or text before going over. Even though I have keys to my brother’s apartment, and he has keys to mine, I wouldn’t want to interrupt him, my sister-in-law, or my nephew.

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Diligent-Year5168@reddit

I usually text that I’m swinging by. No one likes a pop in

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exilesbane@reddit

I have a large extended family. Mother has eight brothers Dad has four brothers and four sisters. Almost all of them have grown children. They not only stop by without warning but won’t take a hint and leave without explicitly telling them to go and the whole hurt feelings routine with other family members about how rude we are. We left the state rather than continuing this ‘tradition’.

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clekas@reddit

In my immediate family, we just show up - parents, sister, partner's mother. My parents still just show up at the houses of my aunts and uncles, as well, though I would call or text for that level of family. In that case, it may only be a few minutes ahead of time.

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captainstormy@reddit

As with everything about America, the answer is that it depends on the exact people involved. Personally it's not even an option to me. I live about a 6 hour drive from my closest blood relative. But no, nobody stops by my house unannounced. It's something that my wife's family very much had to get used to when we started living together. Her family would straight up just always show up unannounced. It was especially bad because we live in the same neighborhood as 2 of her cousins and her parents stay in a condo nearby for at least one week per month sometimes 2. They didn't like that I wouldn't just straight up drop my plans and hang out with them and i wouldn't let my wife do it either.

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Hoopajoops@reddit

Depends on the situation, but no.. I call beforehand. This isn't anything super new to cell phones. When I was a kid the only other house I would just confidently waltz into was my grandparents, and I didn't want to run over to anyone else's house just to find that they aren't there. The closest brother to me right now lives 30 minutes away with his wife. same thing. If I was over there all the time they would probably be okay with me showing up spontaneously, but for right now if they aren't expecting guests there's a good chance they either have other stuff going on, and if they're both in the house chances are they're in their underwear.

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minicpst@reddit

Two planes and a car to get there. I’m going to call first. Make sure it’s ok.

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JennyPaints@reddit

If he were close enough to pop over for 30 minutes, I'd text first. I don't just drop in on anyone unannounced.

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ThrowawayMod1989@reddit

She has a young kid so yes I’d check in with her first.

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Assessedthreatlevel@reddit

My sibling lives 2,000 miles away so yes, other family members I would also check to make sure it’s a good time for them.

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Jujubeee73@reddit

I call first. Even with my parents. I expect a call from them as well. I wouldn’t necessarily be mad if they didn’t, but I’d be thrown off by it & a little less hospitable (not intentionally).

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Financial_Emphasis25@reddit

I always called first. Waste of time if they weren’t home.

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TalkativeRedPanda@reddit

My sister lives 2000 miles from me, so it would be weird to show up unannounced. Growing up, it was very normal to go to someone's house without planning it. Now, it is rare, and I almost always text first. But I still have neighbor's stop by and ring the doorbell to hand me something, but they wouldn't expect to be invited in.

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EffectiveCycle@reddit

I have to drive over an hour to him. Usually we’ve planned something else if one of us visits the other.

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bookworm1421@reddit

Well, I wouldn’t visit my sister because I don’t like her. 😂 However, my brother works night shift so, sometimes I randomly call him and ask if he wants to grab breakfast when he’s off shift and before I go to my regular shift job. I would never just drop in since his sleep schedule is weird.

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m_leo89@reddit

My friend Bill Gorky says that you should never show up at someone’s house unannounced.

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anonymousbequest@reddit

I don’t live close to family, but in general I would always call/text beforehand. I would never knock on someone’s door randomly and expect to be asked in.

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incandescentink@reddit

Depends on family context a lot! My sister lives close to my parents and she or her husband will sometimes quickly pop by to return something or my brother-in-law will use their study for a quiet place to get work done since they have 2 young, loud kids. They don't always give notice for that kind of visit, but they do if they actually want to VISIT, because otherwise they might show up to an empty house! Or my parents might be home but exhausted/not up for a visit. For my siblings and I, none of us live near each other! So while I'd be happy enough to have them pop by without notice, it'd be a huge surprise, and I may not be able to just take the week off work to hang out or something. Very short visits with them (like a half hour) aren't worth it because of the amount of travel and planning we have to do to visit each other. It takes 6 hours for the CLOSEST of us to come over for a visit. The equivalent for us might be calling to catch up, in which case if I want to be sure they'll be free I call. But if not I will just call and they know to ignore it if they can't answer the phone (I usually text when they miss the call, just so they know nothing urgent is happening).

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littledipper16@reddit

I think in today's world where we're all constantly glued to our phones, there's no excuse for not sending a quick text before showing up to make sure they're home/decent/up for company

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asexualrhino@reddit

My siblings live very close by. I'd just show up. I'm not returning dishes though. Those are mine now. If they want them back, they have to steal them

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National_Ad_682@reddit

I grew up outside of the U.S. and it was so common to pop in on friends and family and visit each other often. I think this was because of a lack of mobile phones and social media. I now live in the Midwest U.S. and people seem to panic and get angry over the mere idea of being visited for no real purpose. It's more common for people to want the person to leave the dish on the porch with no interaction.

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VendettaUF234@reddit

I would never show up somewhere unannounced. No idea what people's plans are. I would hate someone doing this to me.

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TipsyBaker_@reddit

I might do either, except they all live a full flight away. Generally though, at least text and get an acknowledgment.

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TsundereLoliDragon@reddit

Neither my brother nor my parents live that far away but no way I would ever show up without calling first.

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chaamdouthere@reddit

Depends on the person. I would always call or text first just to make sure they are actually home or it’s a good time.

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TinyRandomLady@reddit

I would text to make sure they are home and not busy. But all my siblings live 1k+ miles away on the other side of the country so our visits are very coordinated.

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RoxoRoxo@reddit

to include my in law siblings i have 11 siblings. theres only 1 i would just show up unannounced but sadly her work schedule makes it a roll of a dice if shed be home, but if her husbands home id still stay and hang out lol the others i wouldnt visit even announced lol

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holymacaroley@reddit

It really depends on the people in the family. I would say most people would check if they're home. My sister and I have never been close and though I live am hour and a half away, I've many times suggested either I come by with my daughter or meet up at a children's museum near her, mainly because she has a kid 8 months older and I hoped as cousins they'd become friends. There was always an excuse so I finally stopped bothering. I wouldn't ask to even drop something by because I feel she'd find a reason to be mad about it. I leave my nephew 's birthday present with my parents if we don't see them at my parents in the month running up to it. But most families aren't like that, I think.

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SwordTaster@reddit

The only person I'm ok with just showing up is the mailman, anyone else can fucking text first

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Certain-Monitor5304@reddit

I don't talk to my siblings. 😅 But definitely call ahead.

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FlappyClap@reddit

I always walk in leading with a six-pack of beer like Truman’s best friend does in *The Truman Show*, that way they don’t get suspicious. I call first to make sure they’re home.

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Otherwisefantastic@reddit

I don't live in the same town as my siblings. But if I did, I'd probably call/text first. Growing up it was normal to go into a relatives house without even knocking, which is weird looking back. Considering that, I'm not sure they'd mind if I dropped by, but I'd definitely knock, not just walk in. The culture around this has changed, and I actually prefer the texting before dropping by thing.

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Prestigious-Name-323@reddit

I would give them a heads up at minimum

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Free-Sherbet2206@reddit

I would call or text

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MyDogisSally@reddit

I loathe the unannounced drop-in.

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dr_stre@reddit

Generally an expectation to call or text first, if only to know they’ll be home and expecting you. But also, I think many people from elsewhere don’t realize how far away people often live from each other in the US. I’ve never been less than 4.5 hours from my sister since graduating college, I’m now 2000 miles (3200 km) away from my sister. Yes, that’s an extreme example, but even the people that stuck around home often have 20+ minute drives to get to siblings’ homes. That’s not a huge drive but it’s also not something you just do on a whim without knowing someone will be there when you arrive. Which is why the phone call or text is as much for you as it is for them.

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Uhhyt231@reddit

I would just pull up but I also have a key so🤷🏾‍♀️

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ilovjedi@reddit

This really, really depends on the family. That said I’m totally fine with my in-laws just showing up. Though a warning so I can make sure the dog isn’t going to get out is appreciated.

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One-Hand-Rending@reddit

I could just pop by, but I would absolutely call or text first.

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StatusTics@reddit

I would not stop by anyone's house without warning, no matter how close we are.

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andmewithoutmytowel@reddit

I'd text to make sure they'd be home. If someone was returning something to me, I'd appreciate a heads up, even if it's "I'll swing by sometime Saturday afternoon to return X." If I wasn't going to be home I'd just give them the code to my garage and tell them to leave it on the counter.

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BAMspek@reddit

They live probably between 800 and 1,200 miles away from me, so nah. We typically just text

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distrucktocon@reddit

I text them to let em know I’m gonna swing by for a bit. That way they got time to put clothes on or finish doing the deed. Lol.

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bfs102@reddit

50 50 If we actually had our own houses it depends on what im doing though most the time id probably text to be sure they are home

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PacSan300@reddit

Well, my sister has never lived close to me for many years now, so “quick visits” wouldn’t work. That said, if we lived close by, yes, we would give each other a quick call or text first before showing up.

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Ryebread095@reddit

My family and I don't like unplanned guests, so we always ask. The answer is almost always yes, but the heads up is important.

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bloopidupe@reddit

This never happens to me, but I would want a call or a text. You don't know what I'm doing at home.

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la-anah@reddit

My siblings all live one or two hours away. I would never travel to their house before checking to see if they were available. In general, since the advent of cell phones, it is not considered polite to just show up at anyone's house.

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ALoungerAtTheClubs@reddit

I would text or call before showing up at anyone's home.

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Remarkable_Table_279@reddit

Depends on family…my family we call first…especially since I’m clothing optional at home. :).

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Remarkable_Table_279@reddit

My brother once decided to just show up…I hid as I was comfortable but unpresentable…😂

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chicagoliz@reddit

I would probably text first.

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Ok_Focus_7863@reddit

There's no way I'm going all the way down to Georgia for a "quick visit" 🤣 they're gonna be putting up with me for an entire weekend minimum.

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DOMSdeluise@reddit

just popping in is not something really acceptable here I don't think... but my brother specifically lives in a different city so I would definitely call or text ahead if I was planning a visit lol

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-RedRocket-@reddit

I'd want to call to make sure they would be home and in a state to receive company. It's polite to say you'll be coming.

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Maronita2025@reddit

They would be fine with me just showing up, however, I would call in advance as it would take an hour or more to get to them and I'd be pretty pissed if they weren't home.

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PikesPique@reddit

It depends on the family, but it never hurts to call ahead, just to see whether they're home and whether they're tied up with something. If you're in the middle of giving the dog a bath, for example, it might be hard to answer the door.

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Maleficent-Hawk-318@reddit

My family (and a lot of my friends/neighbors) just show up in situations like that.

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Innuendo64_@reddit

I always call. I used to live literally across the hall in the same apartment building from my brother and I would still call or text first .I've seen my brother naked but that does mean either of us is okay with me walking in on him banging his wife on the couch

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BlueRFR3100@reddit

I call first to make sure they are home.

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JackBeefus@reddit

Calling or texting first is better, but just showing up is fine for most, I'd say.

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