When and how did you realise your parents were not good people?
Posted by timothytable@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 5 comments
Sorry for the depressing title but I feel like an idiot and pretty depressed realising it has taken me 30 years to conclude my parents are not good people. Not caused by any particular argument just a straw breaking the camels back moment and my eyes being opened by others. My only excuse is as a lonely child i assumed everyone was like my parents and all parents were the same. I knew no different.
Has anyone else had a similar realisation in adulthood?
yub_fan_big@reddit
Short story long. (You heard me.)
When I was 8, I was in a car ride with my older sister (10) with my mom and dad I'm the front. I remember being distracted by my tablet, when my dad suddenly got out of the car.
My sister was clearly distressed by something, since she didn't have anything to be distracted with. She definitely heard whatever happened.
So, my dad went to my mom's side of the car and dragged her out. My sister started crying, I'm a follower, not a leader. So I start crying too. My dad proceeded to beat the shit out of my mother.
My sister told me to get out of the car, which I did. She followed. My dad got off of my mother and yelled at us to get back in the car.
Ironically enough, it was nighttime, and raining.
Since I was a good boy the rest of my life, I never had a bad experience such as this. (Other than almost being shot on Halloween, that's not relevant here.)
I think my parents got divorced. I never saw them together ever since, but they definitely still talk to eachother.
Sometimes I wish that never happened. I really missed seeing them both together. A mother cannot give everything a father can, neither can a father give everything a mother can.
Fickle-Carob5915@reddit
Akkikswhogshmvhmagwjlgahmacmhafahkfjachyw
Radiant_Invite1485@reddit
The blackberries on the plate reminded me of the Hunger Games.
Getonwithitplease@reddit
When I was 11, I developed trichotillomania (hair pulling) from stress and anxiety. I was bullied at school, my dad was an alcoholic and emotionally abusive, there were too many children at home and too many animals and we smelt, looked awful and didn't get fed enough despite there being two good wages.
My mother decided I'd done it to make her angry and would hit me in the head every morning. She stopped buying me sanitary products. She started keeping me off school to look after siblings.
My dad was actually a child psychologist. My mother was a teacher. I still don't really understand how or why they were like that.
Confu2ion@reddit
"I still don't really understand how or why they were like that."
They're people with authoritarian mindsets/hierarchical worldviews. They subconsciously don't know any way to feel good about themselves outside of deciding that someone else is deserving of abuse no matter what. They get this little "I'm better than that person" high whenever they hurt someone, but it's not sustainable, so they "have" to keep doing it to keep getting it.
These type of people don't understand that what they're doing is abuse - they've totally convinced themselves that what they do is justified. There's no getting through to them because they already decided that everything someone they consider "lesser" than them says doesn't "count." It's really twisted.