What's your best (worst) story about seagulls?
Posted by Ok-Fondant2536@reddit | AskABrit | View on Reddit | 114 comments
Something like that: "An irate avian forced the total evacuation of a supermarket in Cornwall on Tuesday evening as shoppers looked on in horror.
The angry seagull swooped into the Tesco store in Garras Wharf, Truro at around 8:30pm and began harassing customers and staff."
Feeling_Anteater_142@reddit
I was sea fishing once and a seagull took my bait! Had no choice but to reel the damn thing in and it came on the pier squawking and fighting and trying to bite anything that got near it. My daughter calmly took off her coat and threw it over the bird and it immediately went quiet so we could grab it and release the hook. Turns out this is a thing with day time birds... If it goes dark they think it's time to settle down!!?
Zusi99@reddit
My late father told me that in his young adult days, when he'd fed them whisky soaked bread. Apparently, they lost coordination for a few minutes, would have a big shit, and then seem OK.
BrassKneck@reddit
There is no such bird as a seagull. They’re gulls of which there are many varieties. Just sayin’
Krzykat350@reddit
When my sister was getting married at the seaside her and her husband were getting photos done with ice cream cones. His got nicked before the photos got done
qualityvote2@reddit
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Ursa-Aureliana@reddit
Linking what I think is OPs story/source 😂
Asleep_Key_4293@reddit
When I first moved to Leith from the USA, nobody told me about either the strong winds in Scotland or the seagulls. I found out about them in January when the winds are strong enough to blow the gulls into my windows. Quite startling if you’re not ready for it.
-thisname-@reddit
I was working in the Lifeboat Inn in St. Ives, Cornwall about 30 yrs ago. Some little sunburnt rough looking hairy fella, reminiscent of a castaway, shouted me over.
He asked me in a Scottish accent, " Dae ye want any seagulls, pal?" I was like 'wtf'? "Seagulls," "Aye, ah'vw aboot twenty in here if ye want wan" He opened his rucksack. Full of fucking seagulls, all dead. He was absolutely hammered. One of the few times in my life I was totally speechless.
This really happened.
Jayatthemoment@reddit
How much did he want for ‘em?
-thisname-@reddit
A pint. Funny as fuck watching him trying to sell them to tourists.
Scottish-warrior05@reddit
A friend worked on a passenger boat that did pleasure cruises around scottish coast and it had a restaurant at the stern
the chief used to go out on deck with a few chips or bread and tempt a seagulls down
catch it
And then walk through the restaurant with the seagulls under his arm and into the galley
Where he would shove it out of a porthole
Then he would return to the restaurant and go to the chalkboard and add
"chicken"
to the menu
Ok-Fondant2536@reddit (OP)
Improvise, adapt, overcome!
NoteIcy4315@reddit
Used to live on the coast. Seagulls were as fat as geese from gorging on kebabs. Was upstairs working from home (during Covid) when there was an almighty thud in the garden. Honestly thought an elephant had somehow found its way in through the gate. Looked out of the window and it was a seagull that had jumped off the fence on to the lawn and was screaming because I hadn’t left any chips out.
Puzzleheaded_Pin2566@reddit
A man rescued an injured one on a beach and it pecked his eyeball out.
megan99katie@reddit
My gran was eating a chippy on Llandudno seafront a few months ago and one landed her her head before then attempting to steal her chips
marrangutang@reddit
Was at work on a civil engineering site, building a seawall… job was mostly complete, and I was walking down a mile long empty seawall with my work mate and there was a flock of maybe 100-150 seagulls on the side of the promenade
He goes watch this and stamped his foot. As it echoed off the cliffs behind, all the startled seagulls took off and every single one of them shat on us at once, it was like fishy rain. We had to hide under our coats lol
CrazyPlatypusLady@reddit
Worst: horrific Cornish seagull swooped down and stole my ice cream in St Ives when I was 10. Not so bad, but a few moments later another (or the same one) came in dive bombing and stole my dad's entire meal with box, kicking me in the face in the process. I was scared of them for years.
Best: Not been scared of them for at least 20 years, started painting and drawing slightly mental ones a while back. One of my paintings of them has multiple awards behind it now, and another has been on a few shortlists. I'm concerned I'm accidentally making myself into "the seagull lady".
chamekke@reddit
If I am allowed to interpret this as AskABritishColumbian, I would have to say the all-time best (worst) seagull story is the terrible episode of the pepperoni at the Empress Hotel.
Cosmic-Hippos@reddit
Gulls, are magnificent, they're smart and badly treated.
Lucky-Advertising983@reddit
Work in a child’s nursery and seagulls laid eggs on the roof, as the eggs hatched the parent seagulls and then their friends at times would swoop people Coming into the car park to then drop their children off. We ended up using umbrellas to help people in and out of the nursery. Once one of the babies fell off the roof so was walking around and the seagulls were going nuts. They also learnt to recognise cars and would swoop more on regular cars in the car park such as the managers. It was a nightmare!
tiptoe_only@reddit
Many years ago I was going out with a young chap who was just starting out in his journalistic career. He had to write an article for the local paper about a woman who was pretty much trapped in her house because a seagull would attack her every time she tried to leave.
I still have a clipping of it somewhere.
DennisTheConvict@reddit
I can believe that.
We had baby seagulls on our roof, and then in our garden. Every time we tried to leave the house the mother gull would swoop down at us.
tiptoe_only@reddit
Seagulls on the roof was an issue for me when I was in student accommodation at Sussex Uni but for other reasons. The bastards would wake me up every morning stamping on the flat roof over my head
AdZealousideal2075@reddit
To be fair to them it was actually 2pm
tiptoe_only@reddit
I wish I could sleep that late!
Apprehensive-Row561@reddit
This happens every year in our street. We use umbrellas to ward the parents off.
Insomniac_80@reddit
US'ian here, a guy was getting two hot dogs at one of the Long Island (New York State) beaches and left them on a table while he paid. When his back was turned, a seagull swooped down and took both of them. The man screamed bird "hey give them back," and the bird promptly dropped them as the guy laughed at the situation.
Jaybee021967@reddit
I got attacked by a flock of seagulls (not the band lol) when I was trying to eat some fish and chips on the beach. An old bloke rescued me by waving his walking stick at them bless him
seven-cents@reddit
I saw one shit directly into a woman's mouth as she was walking through the town square
Such-Memory-7102@reddit
Wow!
seven-cents@reddit
Yeah, it almost looked deliberate too.
She was walking along with 2 mates on either side, and the gull was hovering on the breeze just before swooping in and depositing its little shit-bomb.
That it landed in her mouth just as she tilted her head back and laughed was very bad luck/coincidence, but the timing was perfect!
It made me wonder if she upset it somehow earlier 😂
anabsentfriend@reddit
I was in my back garden one summer. It was a beautiful hot day.
The neighbours, whose garden was at the rear of mine were having a family barbecue.
Between our gardens, on my side is a large and much-admired apple tree.
The neighbours had put out a plate of sausages fresh off the grill, ready to be deployed into buns.
The local seagull didn't miss a beat. He was straight down there and scoffed the lot.
He attempted to make his escape by flying in an upward trajectory, but was hampered by the eight whole pork sausages that were lodged in his neck.
I was watching the situation unfold from the comfort of my deckchair at the opposite end of the garden.
He flapped and choked his way upwards about level with the top of the tree, but he obviously realised his faux pas and that he'd most definitely bitten off more than he could chew. He collapsed through the tree bouncing off every branch as he went down. Feathers were flying, wings were flapping and I can't even begin to describe the noise that this thing was making.
He landed with a hefty thwunk on the grass and started choking and flailing around.
At this point, I was panicking a bit. I am a certified first aider, but my training didn't prepare me for performing the Heimlich on a seabird.
It was clearly in distress retching and choking. I moved towards it but that seemed to panic it even more. I could see that all 8 sausages were firmly lodged in this feathery idiot's throat.
It managed to hop up onto my decking with it's eyes bulging and after what seemed like an eternity of flailing, attempted squawking, with herculean effort it sicked up all 8 bangers onto my decking along with a thick coating of some kind of digestive tractor slime.
It staggered about in a daze for a few moments and managed to take to the air in a rather ungainly fashion and made it away in the opposite direction to the bbq.
I was left with the stinking, slimy gift to dispose of.
I have no idea what the neighbours thought about the missing sausages. Theyprobably blamedd it onthe dogg..
Electronic-Fennel828@reddit
That was beautifully written I was howling with laughter
Electronic-Fennel828@reddit
Oh I worked on the seafront in Brighton for a couple of years, there was a seagull story every week more or less. They were bold as brass the fuckers.
One flew directly at my shop once. Squawking like a mad thing I stood there, shouting and clapping, equally like a mad thing. It swerved at the last second thankfully. I genuinely can’t think of anything worse than having to deal with a seagull in a fish shop.
I used to go out with a broom and swing it around to clear them away from the seating area near the shop. Never ever intending to hit them and I never did, because the bastards hold a grudge. I just wanted them to shift, and it did work. I could go out, even if I’d not been working for a couple of weeks and seagulls in that area would avoid me.
I also used to advise customers to twat them if they went for their food. Not sure how many followed that advice. But genuinely they’ll go for an easier target if you’re willing to fight about it.
Once I was alone in my flat watching the world go by and I saw a seagull flying with an adult rat in its mouth. The thing was almost as big as the seagull carrying it. Absolutely terrifying.
mickki4@reddit
Went to a festival years ago that was one of those local bands things, no big acts just locals and a few outsiders. Guys doing his thing crooning on stage when a kamikaze gull came down and scoffed a Sandwich that was sat on a speaker on the stage, unfortunately the bird didn't have the dexterity to fully lift off again and it ploughed into the singer. It was astonishing to see.
hooahhhhhhh@reddit
I saw a flock of them, and I ran, I ran so far away
GoldenGolgis@reddit
If I had a photograph of... that
mickki4@reddit
I was wishing I had a photograph
Captain_Chappie@reddit
At a barbecue, seagull came over to a box of kebab skewers loaded with chicken and peppers, got one end in this mouth and then threw his head back and downed it. Tried to run over to save him, but he ran off, still with his head rammed back because he had a metal skewer going the entire length of his body...finally managed to take off, but the skewer was keeping him completely straight, so he was out of control. Flew out to sea, no idea what became of him after that.
No_Thought_1492@reddit
My secondary school had an infestation of seagulls for years. To cross from the furthest block and fields to the main block and out of the gates, you’d need an umbrella or a hood all year round. The seagulls came in mass packs and were feral. In my Sixth Form years at the same place, I would be in a two story block much taller than the rest of the school and got to enjoy the younger kids’ uniforms and their food getting mutilated by them during break and lunch times. It was oddly satisfying.
To make it worse, I’m completely land locked. Slap bang centre of the country. Those fuckers came far to look for their food, were brutal, and I still have a slight seagull PTSD 5+ years since leaving there. 🤦🏽♀️
Foundation_Wrong@reddit
I saw a big gull fly over me with a sparrow in its beak.
Tay74@reddit
Was once sat on a bench eating some mcdonalds fries, when a big old seagull jumped up on the bench next to be with what remained of a mutilated pigeon corpse in it's mouth. It approached me as if wanting to offer a trade, and when I tried to leave, it chased me half way across Dundee city centre, much to the amusement of onlookers
I did tend to watch the seagulls ripping apart pigeons in that area pretty frequently, but that was the only time one attempted to barter 😂
GraeWest@reddit
Was in Edinburgh the other week and saw a massive seagull with a dead rat, picking it up and flinging it about. Grim as
BodybuilderOk2489@reddit
Sounds like a good trade.
Tay74@reddit
He figured I should eat some more protein
DropDeadDigsy@reddit
My mate caught one mid air and put it through someone’s car window at the traffic lights. It was the most random quick thing I’ve ever seen and the woman’s scream as we ran away with live with me forever. I had tears strolling down my face and ran all the way home, I couldn’t stop laughing and my dad accused me of being stoned!!! I kept trying to tell him what happened but couldn’t finish the story for laughing and he was getting more and more pissed off until I eventually got it out and he started pissing himself as well
Missbhavin58@reddit
My sister in her teens often brought home injured birds or ones needing help. Everything from a Swan to a wren but the two seagulls she brought home were awful. Absolutely reeked of fish. And seriously loud. And they had to be kept apart from each other. Glad they were in the shed
damebabyz56@reddit
Once, we went to Bridlington with mum and step dad. Bought some fish and chips to eat on the pier not 10 seconds after paying a seagull decided step dad's looked delicious, flew down, and nicked the whole tray. Seagull then dropped the tray obviously but started downing the fish like it'd never been fed. Its bloody red hot as well,literally just came out of the fryer. Greedy sods they are.
Sad_Introduction8995@reddit
My dad’s garden is full of golf balls because the idiots pick them up off the nearby course, thinking they’re eggs. Then they jettison them over the nearby area.
Elephants-socks@reddit
A few weeks ago my family and I went to the beach and took our dog, all was well, it was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, the beach was fairly peaceful, my kids were happy, my dog was feeling a bit anxious so I gave her a chew, as she settled down with said chew a seagull swept in and stole it and flew off with the dogs chew in its mouth, we chased the seagull, the seagull flew over the sea so we thought that was it but no! The seagull then came back to dry land to scoff it's stolen bounty, however if you've ever been up close and personal to a dog chew, you will know that they are rock hard, apparently this seagull didn't know that in advance so after more chasing it dropped the chew and I successfully recovered it and gave it back to my dog, who was not interested in it in the slightest. Fun times.
Ok-Fondant2536@reddit (OP)
During the first sentence I thought the dog ends up being eaten by the seagull.
menegerie5@reddit
A vicious vermin of a seagull clouted me on the head and stole my donut in Whitby 😬😬
catschimeras@reddit
Eating a wrap on the sea front, seagull came at me from behind, snatched the whole thing out of my hand and flew off with it, intact, somehow fitting it's entire wingspan between my hand and my open mouth without ever making contact with any part of me besides the sandwich I was holding.
I was furious, but also grudgingly impressed with the speed and accuracy of the strike, and how neat the carry-off was. I've got opposable thumbs and I'm rarely that neat when eating a wrap.
GoldenGolgis@reddit
I had an even more precision version of this - eating a hoisin duck roll, one flew down and whipped out all the (quite stringy) duck, leaving me staring at an empty wrap. I hadn't felt or heard a thing and was much confused about why everyone sitting around me gasped "OH!"
catschimeras@reddit
I would absolutely have gasped "OH!" if i'd seen that. like, fuck those greedy birds, but you do have to admire the finesse!
Timely_Egg_6827@reddit
One knocked out a pigeon and ate it alive on our work's balcony. Janitor earned his money and double that day.
Speedbird223@reddit
I was in Scotland many years ago with my Dad…enjoying a swift-o outside a pub in Fort Augustus.
Seagull was flying around and out of nowhere dropped a giant shit that went right in my father’s pint. Nary a drop touched the rim, a perfect “nothing but net” shot as they say in basketball.
Hard not to laugh…
User-1967@reddit
Now that is funny
Alicam123@reddit
I once had a seagull land on my shoulder, yes I fell over but not before he stole my birthday donut (from Greggs) and ripped my lip open (still have the scar) and chucked it on the floor just to look at me like it’s my fault that it’s on the floor.
Unfortunately they are protected but if they attack someone then we can petition for a culling, Which I did and so did some parents whose kids got hurt that year.
Fortunately they found the serial offender (which had blood over his feathers) and took him down as he was the biggest and the main instigator apparently, after this we didn’t get any attacks that nasty, just a bit of scare and jump tactics after that.
Odd-Quail01@reddit
I saw an enormous adulescent seagull in Scarborough eviscerate a pigeon and strut about looking pleased with himself like there wasn't plenty of half eaten kebabs to be had.
nonsequitur__@reddit
Yeah they do that several times a week near my work, it’s awful to watch. They stalk and stare for a while before attacking and never eat them.
Odd-Quail01@reddit
It was eating.
thesaharadesert@reddit
There’s an idea. Pigeon kebab.
Odd-Quail01@reddit
Sounds fancy in ways I promise you this was not.
TheToyGirl@reddit
I caught one once 😂 they are meaty and very strong!
TheToyGirl@reddit
With my hand I mean. I just moved my left arm quickly and grabbed it just behind the wing as it flew past in Weston super mare. Not sure who was more surprised 😂
Pileroidsareapain@reddit
Cornwall, again. As a child, I watched a herring gull (they are not really sea birds as they spend far too much time on/over land) steal and eat a pasty out of my younger brother’s hands. Greedy twat. On the other hand, during the same period, we had a gull of the same species but one legged, visit our garden almost daily. Mum called it Hoppy and provided it with scraps of food to eat. I don’t know what it did once Dad was posted away.
cragwatcher@reddit
Seagulls know what day it is.
Gulls that arrive at school playgrounds in search of scraps don't bother going at the weekend. Maybe not what you were looking for but I think k it's amazing. They also have a sense of time, arriving before the kids head out into the playground rather than as a reaction to it.
nonsequitur__@reddit
Apparently they have really good memories and communication, and live long lives.
wendz1980@reddit
So true. My work is right next to a school and barely a seagull to be seen during holiday times.
nonsequitur__@reddit
I’ve been attacked multiple times near work. On my first day, a seagull swooped up to my face, bit my finger and stole my sandwich from my hand as I had it in my mouth taking a bite.
Had them swoop and grab and scratch my head a few times - they’re so big and heavy that I thought I was being mugged and someone was whacking me over the head with a rucksack.
We often (several times a week) see them through the window stalking pigeons and then ripping them apart for sport. They leave them be once they’ve ripped them to shreds.
A colleague had one swoop up and peck at her eyes, luckily she was wearing glasses. Truly horrible creatures to coexist with.
My auntie stayed in a hotel and one sat staring them through the window. My uncle left the window unlocked one day and it managed to open the window and steal their lunch from the worktop.
TaffWaffler@reddit
Went on a school trip to Aberystwyth from south wales. It wasn’t a normal school trip, some sort of celebration of literacy type deal. Launching of a few books, some signed copies by the authors, plays by a number of schools about the books in question, and rehearsed debates about the books or some such. Can’t quite remember, we were in year 6.
All that to say, it wasn’t the whole school or even a whole class, just the children trusted enough to do well and behave, show the school in the best light and have a chance at winning something.
Because we were such a small group, our headteacher, from her own pocket, got us all chips by the beach after the event. It was WONDERFUL.
Then one feather fuck landed near us, a teacher waved her leg at it and it fucked off. The bastard didn’t flee. He went for reinforcements. A fucking flock of the bastards started swarming me and the other children, it was, to put it bluntly, fucking hectic. Some shouting from the adults, some screaming from us, some cawing from the bastards on wings. Then I’ll never forget, one of the teaching assistants. Small woman, like, I was a tall year sixer, not giant just tall, and even I was nearing her height.
This child sized lady threw her carton of chips at one seagull, an explosion of salt and vinegar flavoured majesty accompanied by the distressed wails of a confused gull. But she wasn’t done. She leapt up from the bench, sprinted to us, kicked one gull up the arse, swatted another out the air with an open palm, ushered us children towards the frankly stunned adults, before she picked up what was left of her chips, and launched it down the street to entice the birds further away. I’m not certain that last part was needed, if I were a seagull, I’d not be fucking with her.
Anyway, that’s my story of how a tiny TA tackled the terrorising territorial twats.
BetYouThoughtOfThis@reddit
I live right on a river and used to make a habit of taking any leftover stale bread with me when I would go to work in the morning. I deposited the stale bread at the usual place. I was heading to an important meeting that day and a seagull did the most epic explosive shit across my body that I can barely explain how covered in it I was.
I had seagull shite in my hair, on my face, on absolutely all of my clothing and even on my shoes. My backpack was even covered in seagull shite.
I had to return home and shower and change, reapply makeup and I was late for my important meeting. And all of this because I fed them like clockwork regularly.
TheResistanceVoter@reddit
No good deed goes unpunished, especially where seagulls are involved.
Wasps_are_bastards@reddit
I saw one dive bomb a woman in Blackpool and nick the sausage roll out of her hands. One of the fuckers shit on me in Bristol.
fartingbeagle@reddit
Strange habits, these Blackpool people.
OrganizationFun2140@reddit
Not my story, told to me by one of the participants some years later.
Group of local teenagers on bikes in Looe at the height of the summer. A tourist in a convertible gets frustrated at slow traffic and nearly knocks two of them off their bikes then swears at the kids for being in the way. The boys continue on their way, picking up some chips to eat on the quayside for lunch. When they get to the quayside, they see the convertible parked up, roof still down. The boys decide to sacrifice their lunch, emptying the chips into the car and let the seagulls serve retribution.
This took place before ubiquitous CCTV; would not recommend reenactment.
theavocadolady@reddit
I was in Brighton once. We bought fish and chips and went to eat them on the beach. A seagull came and took my entire fish.
boringPedals@reddit
I once saw a seagull fly into the back of a bread delivery van and steal a pack of bread rolls when the guy was making a delivery.
It must have been a regular occurance. Just as he had returned to the rear of the van to shut the door the gull emerged with a 6 pack of rolls and was greeted with a "not you again, fuck off" as it made it's escape
josh5676543@reddit
In the late 90s early 00s I remember having a very basic game on the PC where you play as a seagull and have to shit on someone's head
suspicious-donut88@reddit
I once helped a seagull by untangling some string from its feet. It repayed me by pecking my hand and stealing my crisps.
Bastard.
InfluenceAromatic293@reddit
I witnessed a seagull airlift an entire burger and bun out of some unfortunate girls hands in Southwold last year. My wife has a similar story about one taking an entire cheese filled baguette from her friend on Cromer pier when they were younger .
Laescha@reddit
I have watched a seagull on a beach in Cornwall hop into someone's unattended bag, pull out an unopened bag of crisps, fly up onto the roof of the surf club, stab the packet open with its beak and eat the crisps. Clever little fuckers.
-thisname-@reddit
I've watched Cornish kids in St Ives chucking chips around the feet of coppers walking past, getting mobbed all along the seafront with seagulls. They weren't happy lol
Laescha@reddit
😂
My general attitude to the St Ives seagulls is that they can fuck right off but this is brilliant
-thisname-@reddit
Shitehawks
BoringChannel9171@reddit
one lunchtime at school, I was sitting in the canteen with my friends when all of a sudden we heard screaming, we assumed it was some year 9s being stupid or something then the more people started screaming. a seagull swooped through the canteen and everyone ducked Mexican wave style, then the seagull turned around and flew back again, then back one more time 😂 luckily in the end the pe teacher managed to herd it out the door
GoldenGolgis@reddit
I live at the seaside so I have dozens of "seagull stole my pasty/icecream off my cone" story.
My more interesting seagull story is that during lockdown Dartmoor had a temporary seagull influx because they all went inland in search of food, since the seaside towns were all out of tourists dropping chips.
Apprehensive-Crew190@reddit
Walking along the Thames path to my old job in suit, shirt and tie, rucksack on back. Seagull deposited a full load of its shit all down me. What made this a touch more tolerable was that the fucker had managed to aim perfectly in the one-inch gap between my rucksack and my back. Had I been half a stride slower, or it half a wingbeat faster, it'd have been in my hair and all down my front.
Went straight to M&S to buy a new shirt and got changed in the bogs before going up to the office
Affectionate-Fix-733@reddit
At the seaside with the family & grandparents - all of us sat on the wall overlooking the sea, scoffing ice-creams. Grandad on the end distracted by the grandkids, a thieving fat-assed seagull swoops down and takes his ice-cream, cone and all. Grandad, somewhat surprised, yells at the gull, 'Oooooo you bugger' much to my (then young) kids amusement. Every time any of us see a seagull now, we all chant Grandad's curse 😄 (Miss you Grandad)
Anonimoose15@reddit
I only have two seagull stories. The first is very generic, a seagull stole half a sandwich out of my hand on a day by the beach when I was a kid 🥱
The other is kinda grim but happened last week. There were three seagulls (one adult, two young), chowing down on a dead pigeon, but the pigeon was in the middle of a road and it was kinda chaotic and only a matter of time before a car hit them. So I nudged the dead pigeon (using my foot) out of the road onto the pavement so the seagulls could continue eating safely.
Sorry they’re not the most riveting of seagull stories!
RealisticBug5646@reddit
On Brighton pier, I watched a very large, happy bald chap walking away from a crepe stall with a fully loaded crepe in a cone.
Before he could even get started, a seagull swooped down and grabbed hold of the crepe, lifting it into the air as the man looked on incredulously.
As the bird started to fly over the man's head, the crepe broke, and the majority of the chocolate and banana filled treat fell onto the man's head, splattering all over him.
He stood there, shocked, for all of about 4 seconds before the seagull and its friends came back for round two, pecking at his head.
I saw the entire range of human emotions in all of 12 seconds - poor bloke.
kowalski655@reddit
Saw a seagull swoop on a meal on a bench outside a pub in Rhyl. The guy at the table stopped it by punching it in mid air
Simon_Says_2@reddit
A seagull commandeered my car in a car park in Falkirk once. Well….if was standing on the roof right at the driver side refusing to move. I skulked around unsure what to do for a good twenty minutes before a brave lady waved her shopping bag at it.
I’m petrified of them, they used to dive bomb us at work when there were young nesting on the roof.
imtheorangeycenter@reddit
BBC Micro. Doctor Who.
I can only assume they were seagulls.
aljones27@reddit
Had a bit of time to kill before getting the ferry over to the Scillies from Penzance. It was a beautiful early morning so decided to sit outside and enjoy a full English with a pot of tea…
In fairness, the lovely cafe lady did warn me, but it was a lovely sunny morning and I sat outside anyway…
Within 2 seconds of the food arriving a gull had snatched the toast away and I then took the rest of the breakfast to an inside table… I admitted defeat and acknowledged the “We told you so” look…
MrsD12345@reddit
My dad was blind as a bat, even with his contacts in, and one blowy afternoon on Blackpool seafront, he got a coffee and a scone to split with my mum. As he carried it to the table, leaving mum paying the bill, a seagull swooped down and made off with the scone. Dad didn’t even notice. Set the plate down, had a sip of coffee and started trying to cut the scone. Mum says when she got back to the table he was feeling around the plate with the knife like a blind man with a walking stick, while his other hand patted down the table trying to find it there. All watched from two feet away by a very satisfied seagull demolishing a scone.
Karl-Pilkinghorn@reddit
I was once on a pier with an ex and I bought a bag of donuts that I’d been looking forward to all day. The greedy, selfish bastard ate all of them before I could get anywhere near them and left me only one. I held it in front of my face and went ‘mmm’, and out of nowhere, a greedy, selfish bastard seagull swooped down, plucked it from my hand, flew a few yards and dropped it in the sea.
I have since tried to avoid greedy, selfish bastards of all species but with mixed success.
Trees_are_cool_@reddit
Outdoor seating at a drive in burger place. They would swoop in and steal fries! Not much of a story, but those bastards were relentless.
Efficient-Lab@reddit
When I was a kid, a seagull swooped past my dad and nicked all his bacon from his bacon sandwich. Dad was livid.
Important_Mission308@reddit
My nana got her head cracked open, aunt was attack, and a really little girl was once attacked in town. All completely fine. The seagull with the little girl got their ass clicked by her dad. I also love in the area that is it's breeding ground. So we are swamped. They're everywhere
Sensitive-Vast-4979@reddit
Had croissants and my dad was carrying me (i was a toddler ) , seagull swoops down steals one of the croissants and I start screaming forcing him to take me back to Tesco to get another croissant
HumorPsychological60@reddit
A seagull stole my sandwich on the way to a lecture
Got to the lecture theatre and everyone stared at me
I had blood running down my face. The seagull has drawn blood and I hadn't even noticed
All I said was 'Seagull' and a few nods of understanding were given
I come from a town where Seagulls are famous for being violent and huge, like seagulls on steroids. Our football club is named after them. They also did a study a few years ago and discovered that traces of cocaine were found in the significant percentage of the seagulls whose stomachs were tested. Poor things. Explains a lot.
Sea_Appointment8408@reddit
Rockin'. Rockin' and rolling.
Down by the beach I'm strolling...
isacatabeast@reddit
Stop it now!
Sea_Appointment8408@reddit
Mmm. Hmmm. Mmm. Mmm-mmm-hhmmmm!
Fantastic_Fig_8559@reddit
One landed on my mums head in Llandudno the other day and tried to snatch her M&S sarnie.
TheHalfHandedHobbit@reddit
Someone I went to school with got to the top of a Ferris wheel and had a seagull crash into their head and split their head open. They eventually got to the bottom of the ride covered in blood and found the seagull deceased at the foot of the ride.
Jammin4B@reddit
Parked up in front of a seaside shop and my partner ran in quickly. As I was sat in my car waiting I felt a big wet splat hit my shoulder. Somehow, a passing seagull had aimed so perfectly that they were able to defecate on me …….through my half open sun roof!
Lammyrider@reddit
one summer holiday in Lowestoft i was having an afternoon nap in my b&b's attic room, as it was hot i had the roof window open a few inches. i heard a thud and then felt a splat as a seagull had precision shit bombed me through the small gap. half my body and the bed sheets were covered in it.
BusyDark7674@reddit
My wife threw a chip at a seagull in Hunstanton to make it go away. Roughly 4,500 seagulls proceeded to chase her up the hill while I pissed myself laughing. Good times.
Melonpan78@reddit
Had the Flake stolen from my 99 on Brighton Pier. Faster than the naked eye, one fell swoop.
tiptoe_only@reddit
I was out in Brighton once and we got ice cream of the scoop variety rather than whippy. A seagull dived on us and stole the entire scoop from the guy I was with, leaving him holding an empty cone.
He was speechless for a moment then looked skywards and said, in the smallest, most bitter voice: "I hope you get brainfreeze"
maceion@reddit
I grew up in Leith, Scotland, often for a Sunday afternoon, my grandad and I would stroll down to the docks and the West pier. We would sit on bollards (for tying up boats), while eating my Grandad would throw small bits of sandwiches into the air and they would be swooped on and taken by seagulls. This seemed very usual.