AIDS and sex ed
Posted by in-a-microbus@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 216 comments
Does anyone else remember being taught in sex ed to "always exchange full sexual history with your partner before having sex"
The rationale was that the AIDS pandemic was exploding and "every person you have sex with it's like having sex with everyone they had sex with too"
I find it so strange that millennials seem shocked or even angry if someone asked to discuss their "body count".
QueenBBs@reddit
https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0105444/ we watched this movie during health class my freshman year in high school. I was traumatized.
MaximumJones@reddit
To be fair, studies all show that GenX has the highest body count in history, even more than boomers.
That is a LOT considering there are much fewer of us. We are the horniest generation of all time.
-LordDarkHelmet-@reddit
It would be even higher but I brought the average waaaaay down. Still holding it down.
spyder7723@reddit
Idk that i trust that study.. Quite a lot of our generation married or high/middle school sweetheart.
firewifegirlmom0124@reddit
Eh, I’m late Gen X and got married at 22 to my HS sweetheart and had still slept with 6 people before I got married. I think we just started younger.
LittleCeasarsFan@reddit
Weren’t you also a teen mom?
firewifegirlmom0124@reddit
Yes
spyder7723@reddit
It's kind of a funny story with me meeting mine. I had only been 14 for about 6 weeks and she was still 13 for a week. The summer between 8th and 9th grade. Up until that point I didnt understand why my guy friends had gone crazy for girls. The moment I laid eyes on her, she met my gaze, gave me a smile and that was that. Been coocoo for cocoa puffs ever since. More than 3 decades later that smile still melts my brain.
Historical_Touch_124@reddit
16? That seems way too low..... am I crazy?
MaximumJones@reddit
It seems really low to me too. I had more than that before I graduated high school. It turns out I was much hornier than normal. 😳
Historical_Touch_124@reddit
16 seems more like a good summer during college, or a few weeks when I worked with bands in the 90's.
in-a-microbus@reddit (OP)
That's wild that we have the highest body count. Is that even correct? I seriously thought millennials with their "the past doesn't matter" and their ethical non-monogamy and their "I need to explore my options" would have us beat.
I totally believe it's bigger than the boomers though.
tandem_kayak@reddit
I don't know, Boomers had the free love 60s, we got Herpes and the AIDS epidemic. I would think they would be way ahead of us.
CeeTheWorld2023@reddit
Them nursing homes …. Like orgies up in there…. Boomers…. Booming. And trading STD’s like penny stocks.
CoyotesVoice@reddit
I heard that in Boomhauer's voice...
moonmothman@reddit
When I visited my parents in Florida last year, there was a news story about a huge drug bust where a dude was selling viagra and other d!ck pills at the retirement communities. He sold thousands of pills.
spyder7723@reddit
The villages is known to be have a very active swinger community. It makes the news down here quite often for it. If you're into grandma's that seems to be the place to be.
Pnknlvr96@reddit
There's a Bob's Burgers episode about that. Linda's parents live in a swinging adult community.
lusciousskies@reddit
🤮
HauntingTop8803@reddit
Exactly. I've never seen a study that puts us as the most promiscuous generation. Boomers were proudly shagging everyone.
MaximumJones@reddit
No, they weren't. That was a myth.
MaximumJones@reddit
Not even close.
in-a-microbus@reddit (OP)
Oh Ya...I keep forgetting my parents weren't boomers.
NightGod@reddit
That chart isn't really an equal comparison. Millenials and GenZ have a lot of years of fucking left
Historical_Touch_124@reddit
I just sort of laugh when I see some Gen-Z posting about being repulsed when a girl had a high body count of 4. My thought was 'that's just a good weekend'.
Kuildeous@reddit
They may have been vocal about it, but a lot of us practiced that even if we never said it. Sex was sex, man, and people have different thresholds for what was acceptable or not, but I ran with some really slutty crowds. Not only did the past not really matter, but it was easy to call up 2 or 3 of their past partners and ask them how they liked it.
I had a fun conversation with a partner before we hooked up. We both were fans of the show 24, and we joked about how she would be my 24th partner. So we made it happen. She didn't have that many partners, but she was also younger than me. Wasn't a competition between us; it was just numerically funny.
KateandJack@reddit
Frankly, I’m proud of this
Sorry_Im_Trying@reddit
It was all the exercise we used to get riding our bikes everywhere for hours.
thatguygreg@reddit
I think we’re less likely to lie about it, because who cares?
Hostile1974@reddit
AIDS scared the shit out of me. Little was known through most of the 80's. Researchers never ruled out things like it mutating into something you could get from the air.
Obviously it turns out that it's relatively difficult to acquire HIV, but it was a scary time. People were getting it through transfusions early on.
elphaba00@reddit
My in-laws discovered that my husband could read at an early age because he got a hold of his mom's National Enquirers and was reading about AIDS. He had read that red eyes (basically conjuctivitis) were a sign of AIDS and he was convinced that his dad had it. They had to go into quick damage control on that one.
EmmerdoesNOTrepme@reddit
Yep! Born in '76, so we had Ryan White just a little older than us, and Ricky, Robert, & Randy Ray (aka "The Ray Brothers"), who were just a little younger.
So not only was it a disease that older gay men, and i.v. drug users got, it was literally something kids our age could get stuck with, too--just because they were unlucky enough to have a blood clotting disorder.
And then some of our favorite athletes & music artists got it too.
We were young kids, when Rock announced, and blew open the doors the Reagan Administration had been trying to hide the scale of the epidemic behind.
Then it was the beloved favorite of so many Grandmas--Liberace.
Then Freddie Mercury announced, and was dying.
And Magic disclosed his HIV status, and was basically forced to retire, because so many players elsewhere were scared of playing against him after the announcement (another reason plenty of us adored the guys on Dream Team 1--because they weren't scared and they wanted Magic on the team with them!).
Then Arthur Ashe died.
And in the span of literally a month and 2 days, in 1995, Easy-E died, at the age of 30--after we'd already seen Ryan, and Ricky Ray die before we graduated.
Death was all around us, growing up.
And while, for the older folks, it was "something people did, to get HIV & AIDS!"
In our age cohort, as the kids growing up smack in the middle of the crisis--we knew that "even if you did everything right," it could still kill you.
bearrito_grande@reddit
Also born in 76. You captured my experience pretty damn well. The question is then, how did this color or frame your perspective on sex and affect your relationships? I’m not asking you directly, but asking others in our generation to reflect on it. I have been recently, and F’ing hell, I now realize it made me very anxious and hesitant, even timid, sexually as a young adult. Fortunately, I broke out of that mind set but it took many years, damaged relationships, and so many regrets.
SimpleVegetable5715@reddit
I remember before they had figured out how it was transmitted. People were afraid to use public restrooms. My family went out to eat, and someone else came in looking very emaciated and sickly, with spots that could have been Kaposi’s sarcoma. He got kicked out, because they don’t “let AIDS eat at this restaurant.” I was still a kid, but I remember that moment so clearly, and I felt so sorry for that guy.
IllustratorWeird5008@reddit
The AIDS epidemic of the 8O’s was terrifying, but I was under the understanding you only shared if you needed to (tested positive for any STI) not because you owed anyone your body count.
in-a-microbus@reddit (OP)
Oh...you didn't OWE it to a potential partner to tell them your history.
I just remember being taught that if someone didn't share their history that was a hard no.
IllustratorWeird5008@reddit
Yeah I agree
HildegardeBrasscoat@reddit
That's because there's a difference between being open about your std history and having some jackass try to shame you for your "body count".
in-a-microbus@reddit (OP)
What is? Are you taking about what you were taught in sex ed or are you just flying off the handle?
HildegardeBrasscoat@reddit
The concept of "body count" is a slut shaming device. Sharing one's std history is different. Who's flying off what handle?
Appropriatelylazy@reddit
AIDS and HIV became part of public awareness around the time Magic Johnson was diagnosed and/or Freddie Mercury passed away. Around 1991, I think? I graduated in 1984 so Sex Ed in hs comprised of being told we would all get pregnant (even the guys! jk 😜) and using condoms to avoid VD!
Ewendmc@reddit
I finished high school in 1984 and went to study in Edinburgh. We were all aware of aids and how it was crossing into the full community due to drug use etc. We all had it drummed into us to use condoms through public awareness campaigns etc. It should be noted that Edinburgh was, for a time, labelled the aids capital of Europe in the mid eighties.
Appropriatelylazy@reddit
Sorry, being American, the Regan Administration basically ignored this disease for a long time. No one I went to high-school with in the 80s had any clue about it until public figures began to pass away. We've always been somewhat puritanical about sex Ed in my opinion so I'm thinking that's partly why.
AstridOnReddit@reddit
Where did you grow up? I’m Californian and we definitely talked about AIDS in the 80s. But perhaps that was because of our proximity to San Francisco.
Appropriatelylazy@reddit
I grew up in upstate NY. Big high-school. I have zero memories of any discussions about AIDS and HIV before graduating. I think my first memories are from a job I had in Boston where a number of gay men worked with me, and talked about it. That was around 1989.
pineapple_bandit@reddit
I grew up in NYC and we were rolling condoms onto bananas in 8th grade health class in 1987. You could literally see people with visible symptoms of AIDS on the subway. NYC didn't fuck around despite whatever went on in the rest of the country.
Appropriatelylazy@reddit
OK well I definitely never even SAW a condom until college so
AstridOnReddit@reddit
I graduated high school in 1989 and as a gag my friends and I all gave condoms to the teacher handing out diplomas on stage during graduation.
Well, those of us bold enough to go get the free condoms from planned parenthood.
EmmerdoesNOTrepme@reddit
It's funny how much of a difference that decade between your graduation and mine (class of '94) made!
Because for those of us born & graduating a decade later (also from MN here!), the basic message from the time we hit junior high on, was "If you don't use condoms, you can absolutely die!"
Because in that decade, first Rock's death broke open the gate, then it was Liberace, Freddie Mercury, Magic announcing he had HIV, Arthur Ashe died, too.
And Ryan White & the Ray Brothers got HIV then AIDS, from blood transfusions, and were run out of their homes & schools, because folks were stupid & scared.
It was all around for those of us who were a decade younger--and we knew that HIV didn't discriminate & didn't care who you were--it could get to anyone, and it was expected that "you're GONNA die!" if you were the person unlucky enough to be visited.
VinceP312@reddit
I'm a gay guy, the thought that Reagan advising that people to not have sex and have it be followed always amuses me.
If you need health advice from a politician I don't know what to tell you.
Appropriatelylazy@reddit
I don't need much of anything from a politician let alone health advice. I'm saying the Regan Administration was known to have ignored AIDS and HIV as a health crisis. Therefore it wasn't being discussed in any health classes I ever had in high-school from 1981 through 1984.
Not really getting how this is a controversial statement but whatever, I guess?
VinceP312@reddit
Wow who knew the Federal Govt was in charge of your High School District curriculum. Lol
Appropriatelylazy@reddit
So you're saying i think the federal government was in charge of the sex education classes at my high school? Because this is a fairly obtuse way of replying to my recounting of A) how AIDS and HIV was largely ignored in the 80s while I was in school, and B) my actual experience of the health/sex ed classes we were required to take.
There's was no discussion or suggested actions for teens regarding avoiding contracting these diseases at all.
This does not constitute an overarching application of all sex ed teachings in all of the US, nor does it need to be. The op was asking if we remember how sex ed classes handled teaching about this epidemic, and I replied accordingly.
I graduated in 1984. AIDS and HIV were not part of the public perception in the years preceeding 1984, and suggesting otherwise is incorrect as far as my memory serves. My high school taught us about girls having periods, boys having wet dreams, and avoiding contracting "VD" and becoming pregnant. That's about it. This was a public school, of good academic standing, and a high percentage of graduates who went on to college. Should that be inconsistent with other people who've commented, then I have no problem with that. However, that's not my experience to talk about. That's up to everyone else. ✌️
1_21-gigawatts@reddit
I was in middle/high school when the aids epidemic first started. For the longest time it was a “gay guy disease“. It wasn’t until Magic Johnson and other famous “straight people” got AIDS that people started getting worried about it IMHO. Even though they were movies and TV shows (Philadelphia, etc.) it wasn’t really in the majority’s consciousness (again IMHO)
genx_horsegirl@reddit
Body count is a shitty term and needs to be retired.
Because my partner is a Millennial I am around a lot of them and everyone gets tested regularly, and talks about it pretty openly.
On the ground more people talk about that then the numbers. Nobody cares how many people you've slept with. You could have gotten an STI from the first person you slept with.
Body count is a way to shame women.
spyder7723@reddit
Not it isn't. Men with high body counts are just as disgusting as women with high body counts. It's a way to shame whores regardless of their gender.
Night_Porter_23@reddit
i don’t think - “no it’s not, it’s to shame everyone!” is as good of an argument as you think it is. how about adults get to make choices to do what they want and we end the puritanical bullshit hypocrisy altogether?
spyder7723@reddit
They are absolutely free to do what they want. And I am free to do what I want by not wanting those kind of people anywhere near me or my family.
My opinion on promiscuity is just as valid as your opinion that it's ok for people to sleep with anyone with a pulse.
in-a-microbus@reddit (OP)
Your opinion is based on someone who has a long term partner and a healthy relationship.
If, instead, you were an incel who is trying to say literally anything to increase your chances of getting laid some day....well then you would never shame someone who constantly switches partners.
spyder7723@reddit
Well I've been with the same woman since i was 14.... so which do you think it is?
in-a-microbus@reddit (OP)
I think you're arguing with reddit. And approximately 5% of reddit are incel who will say literally anything to increase their chances of getting laid some day.
Their arguments make sense if you realize that.
Night_Porter_23@reddit
do you ask everyone their “body count” before they’re allowed to hang out with your family? weird.
spyder7723@reddit
Of course I don't ask. But if I see them with several different people a year they aren't getting invited to the labor day pool party at my house.
I don't want my kids growing up thinking that is acceptable.
in-a-microbus@reddit (OP)
Sex discussions on reddit make so much sense if you believe about 5% of reddit are willing to say whatever will marginally increases their odds at getting sex some day.
pineapple_bandit@reddit
What is a whore? Someone who has had sex with more people than me.
What is a prude? Someone who has had sex with fewer people than me.
You are the disgusting one.
No-Diet-4797@reddit
My "body count" is zero because I've never killed a one.
astro_nerd75@reddit
My lawyer says I shouldn’t post my body count on the internet. It would make it too easy for the court to get a conviction.
genx_horsegirl@reddit
Right? Are we talking about just the ones that have been found?
Sorry_Im_Trying@reddit
Well that is one way to look at it.
There are several ways a conversation like this could go down.
Boy: How many people have you slept with?
Girl: Like ten
Boy: omg you slut, I've only been with two
OR
Girl: When is the last time you've been tested and is there anything I should know about?
Boy: I was tested last year, and have only been with my ex since then.
Girl: That seems reasonable, take off your clothes.
It's all about approach. I don't think anyone never needs to know how many people anyone has been with. You can get the same information in various ways.
sqibbery@reddit
Yes, exactly. I had lots of safe sex discussions with partners, but never once a "how many" discussion. Been married for three decades and still have no idea how many people he'd slept with and vice-versa.
grahsam@reddit
I don't remember that, but I do remember having the idea pressed into my skull that if I had sex without a condom my dick would fall off and I would die painfully, riddled with diseases.
But they also told me if I smoked pot I'd throw myself out a window.
COVFEFE-4U@reddit
Sex Ed in boot camp showed pictures of some of the foreign diseases that made it look like your dick exploded.
IntoTheSunWeGo@reddit
Yeah, sex ed in boot camp was a horror show. Never seen anything like it since.
stigbugly@reddit
That was done on purpose. As a former army medic, we would do anything possible to keep you from catching the carnal flu, mainly so we don’t have to look at or touch your nasty infected tool. I can tell you it’s not something any of us looked forward to, especially in Korea during the 80s.
Background-Tax-1720@reddit
I was a brand new PL (infantry). One day into a field exercise, this private says to me “Sir, I need to get rodded off the range.” Next day two more. 3rd day another one. They all hit the same barracks bunny & got burned 🤣
IntoTheSunWeGo@reddit
Maybe that worked in the army--not so much in the navy. After my ship stopped in the Philippines, the med department announced an all-day drop-in clinic for sailors to get their peckers swabbed. I happened to walk by medical a couple of times that day, for some reason. The line was maybe 20-30 squids long--both times. I was astonished.
stigbugly@reddit
I’m not saying it actually worked, it was supposed to be a deterrent but infantrymen and gun bunnies aren’t the highest level Mensa members. We had the first “sick call” in the morning exclusively for STI checks and testing, then regular sick call, then after that was cleared out we would administer the silver bullets to those lucky individuals who won the lottery that day. We would see the same guys after two weeks quarantine, they would get cleared and head right back out to catch more drippy goodness. They never learned.
IntoTheSunWeGo@reddit
I heard once that the Chief of Naval Operations ordered that ships were allowed to stop at Bangkok during the height of the the AIDS pandemic. Apparently, the navy was losing too many personnel to medical discharges once they were diagnosed with HIV. No matter how many times they were told, no matter how many training videos, etc. Don't know if it was true or not, but it made enough sense that I believed it.
davdev@reddit
And this is why younger generations completely ignored the scare mongering on both ends.
Pot wont kill you, and vaginal (and especially oral) intercourse, amongst straight, non IV drug users, is very unlikely to spread HIV.
Apprehensive-Cat-421@reddit
To be fair, we knew less about HIV/AIDS back then. Not so different from the early days of covid, except that AIDS was more attached to a minority community (gay men and sexually active people with more than one past or present partner). People will always fear what they don't understand.
HLOFRND@reddit
We knew less about it, AND we had nothing resembling a cure. And it didn’t look like the government was all that concerned with finding one, either.
HIV/AIDS was scarier back then, all around. I’m thankful kids today don’t have to bury their friends over it like many of our generation did.
stigbugly@reddit
It was scary enough for me to bail out of my fourth year of med school. The “mystery” virus and its transmission were hotly debated and nobody had answers at the time. This was in 1987, back when HIV was called HTLVIII (human t-lymphatic virus 3) scared a lot of doctors and potential doctors away from practice.
No_Caterpillar_8573@reddit
Amen. I worked with a guy whose partner ended up dying of AIDS. They were both wonderful people and the surviving partner hosted my wife’s baby shower. All the money they had set aside for experimental treatments he ended up spending on gifts for my unborn daughter. RIP Tom. Thank you for introducing me to Carmina Burana.
Apprehensive-Cat-421@reddit
This is so bittersweet.
No_Caterpillar_8573@reddit
I was 23 at the time and called my mother crying because I just couldn’t process it.
EmmerdoesNOTrepme@reddit
I was also in my 20's, when a portion of it was brought to a local community college--and folks from the region who had relatives menorialized in The Quilt had been able to request that the sections with their family member's panels be sent.
My elementary-school friend's family had requested that tge section with her Uncle's block be there--and just like when The Traveling Wall (the small-scale version of the Vietnam Memorial) came through, the scale of the loss hit like a kick to the gut.
Because even with the small number of panels they were able to bring, the gym was full.
Hundreds of people gone forever, and you knew looking at the ones on display, that this was just a fraction of "The Whole AIDS Quilt."
I knew, logically, that HIV/AIDS was an epidemic--as a late-born Gen-Xer, we literally came of age hearing the message, "If you have unprotected sex You CAN Die!"
Because people our age did.
And sooooo many older than us did.
Rich, poor, famous, not--it didn't matter, the disease didn't care.
But it wasn't until the late 90's/early 00's, when the Millennials were hitting high school & college--there were finally had truly reliable treatments to prevent AIDS, and getting HIV was no longer the death sentence we'd grown up with, that folks like me realized just how truly massive the scale of the deaths had been.💔💖💝
No_Caterpillar_8573@reddit
Thank you, science. Of course that is currently being thrown out the window…
EmmerdoesNOTrepme@reddit
I think that's part of why i'm so frustrated & twitchy about alllllll of that!
(The fact that i'm also an adult-diagnosed Autistic ADHDer, who works in Early Intervention, with lots of Pre-K'ers who are also Autistic/ADHDers is another!)
No_Caterpillar_8573@reddit
I have to admit I’m thankful my parents aren’t alive to see what’s going on. My father was a social worker and my mother specialized in early childhood education for disabled and ESL children. My mother suspected I had ADHD but it was never diagnosed. Later I was prescribed Ritalin for a different reason and the difference it made it my ability to focus was amazing.
HLOFRND@reddit
I'm on the young end of our generation ('78) so I was in high schools in the 90s, which meant it wasn't really my direct friends that were passing.
But I remember on our senior trip we saw the AIDS quilt in DC. I was a sheltered Christian girl at a sheltered Christian school (10 people in my graduating class. TEN.) but I remember being overcome by the quilt. I broke away from our group and just wandered, reading every square I could, stopping to truly appreciate how short their lives were.
The AIDS quilt drove home to me just how loved and special each and every person who had passed was. I'm ashamed that it wasn't more salient to me before then. Before the quilt the biggest thing I had remembered was what happened to Ryan White. But my teachers and religious leaders were all a bit too dismissive about it, being a gay thing and all.
But that quilt.... it changed me. We also went to the Holocaust museum on that trip, and they both are experiences I remember very, very well, even 30 years later.
It was watching Tick Tick Boom on Netflix that really reminded me how dire the AIDS crisis was in the 80s and 90s.
No_Caterpillar_8573@reddit
I can imagine the impact. I happened to be in Hiroshima, Japan, when I was 12, with a group on the anniversary of the bombing. I knew enough about it that the thought of going to the museum (which was on our schedule) made me sick to my stomach so I begged not to go.
CoyotesVoice@reddit
Not to get too political, but Reagan absolutely had no interest in finding a cure, even after his good friend Rock Hudson died from it. His press secretary was making jokes about it during press conferences. It's a damn good thing that his surgeon general gave a shit and started informing the public on how it spreads.
Apprehensive-Cat-421@reddit
This 100%
Oxjrnine@reddit
Actually that is incorrect. IV drug uses and gay men got it first and it spread rapidly but AIDs doesn’t care about your sexuality or drug use. Thats why small towns where sex is/was the main form of entertainment and in Africa the primary method of transmission of HIV was/is vaginal intercourse.
The whole reason AIDs managed to spread into the heterosexual community was the lack of research of women’s health and the false belief that it was spread by poppers and drugs, not by bodily fluids.
davdev@reddit
It doesnt care about sexuality, but it does care about transmission paths and its almost non existant orally, and extremely rare for F to M transmission, especially vaginally. M to F is slightly more common, but even then the M is likely to have been an IV drug user, or participated in receptive anal sex.
NoGame212@reddit
Tell that to my very straight, non-drug using, 5th grade teacher who contracted AIDS from a blood transfusion he received during surgery.
We didn’t know shit about it on 80s except there was no cure and it was absolutely a death sentence.
davdev@reddit
Ok, yes, blood transfusions were also a transmission path early on, but we were talking about sexual transmission here. In Western countries, HIV transmission via vaginal intercourse were and are extremely low.
GlorySeason777@reddit
I'm still waiting for all those acid flashbacks I was promised!
grahsam@reddit
Oh, they happen. I haven't had one in decades.
VardisFisher@reddit
If you survived that……you would most likely be kidnapped at any second of the day.
grahsam@reddit
At least someone remembers this. It seems like I'm the only one whose parents were crippled by fear of me getting kidnapped. Everyone here talks about disappearing all day as little kids. My mom wanted names and phone numbers if I went somewhere. Up until I was 12 "outside" was a block up and down from my house.
pigeyejackson66@reddit
I saw a kid jump in front of a train after he took pot, it was a film strip.
ApprehensiveBus3302@reddit
This was definitely the experience I remember.
SnooMemesjellies7469@reddit
Don't forget roasting a baby in the oven!
Pnknlvr96@reddit
Haha like in Mean Girls when the gym coach says "Don't have sex. Because you WILL get Chlamydia. And die."
"Now, everybody take some condoms."
Frosty-Disaster-7821@reddit
Idk how weed is a schedule 1 drug but alcohol is almost legal everywhere. Our govt is corrupt.
HLOFRND@reddit
And nicotine.
idiotsbydesign@reddit
If only they'd told us that if we smoked pot our dick would fall off.
lusciousskies@reddit
Omg THAT one 🤦🏼♀️
North_Artichoke_6721@reddit
My 7th grade health teacher assured us that merely being alone in a room with a member of the opposite sex would result in pregnancy and STDs.
When we were actually trying to conceive, I jokingly told my husband “this is a lot more involved than Mrs. Petroski told me it would be!”
Enough-Variety-8468@reddit
I'd already left school but no, you weren't expected to give prospective partners details of all previous partners.
If you were going into what you hoped would be a long term relationship there was an understanding that you'd both get tested at a sexual health clinic
Glad_Nobody6992@reddit
I’m an older Gen-X (‘68), so was probably 16 or 17 or so when AIDS was more well known. I worked as a cleaner at the hospital, cleaning patient rooms. One room had precautions and I had to gown up and everything to go in and clean. That man was likely one of the first cases in Maine to be in the hospital - and oh my, he was so sick. It was heartbreaking.
Even with the scare mongering at the time (partly due to not knowing enough about the virus and partly due to rampant homophobia), I wasn’t scared to be in the room with him. But seeing him in that bed is an image that has stuck with me all these years.
Jmckeown2@reddit
I was in Catholic School. I was taught AIDS was just a problem for gays and drug users. Plus, you shouldn’t have sex until you’re married. So all STDs were something we didn’t need to worry about. We were taught about them, but more in a “cautionary tale” way, underscoring the consequences of immorality aspects.
Planned Ignorance.
Melekai_17@reddit
Yep and I’ve done it with every partner plus we both got tested prior (not that I’ve done that for decades; I’ve been married a long time). Shocking that this isn’t standard practice for sexually active people.
SimpleVegetable5715@reddit
The message from my school was, “If you have sex, you’ll die”
Teacher filled a cup with salt and rice. The rice represented sperm and the salt was the HIV. The then stretched a piece of pantyhose over the cup, that represented the condom. Then she tipped it over, the pantyhose held the rice back but not the salt.
“See, even if you use a condom, you won’t get pregnant, but YOU’LL GET AIDS AND DIE!”
Gotta love abstinence only sex ed telling us even using condoms is pointless, because we’ll still die of AIDS even if we used condoms. It was so misinformed, because condoms were still the best tool we have to protect ourselves from STDs. I don’t think it scared any of us out of having sex either.
in-a-microbus@reddit (OP)
OMG I remember something like that in freshmen orientation sex ed (1992)
They said that natural rubber condoms don't stop AIDS (which I think is true) but also (here's the odd part) condoms sold in Europe and Japan won't stop AIDS
Any-Perception3198@reddit
We had to watch a film (I think in 1988) and there was a scene with a guy and a girl in a car and it was sooo bad. She told him “I just don’t think deep French kissing is safe”🤣🤣 We all just stifled our laughter but again, I’m not sure the general community understood about transmission at that point.
Btdtsouthside@reddit
I grew up in Louisiana. What is sex ed?
levianan@reddit
That was a concept pushed by conservatives in GenX. That stupid, repressive concept that you8 'carried' all the germs and virus from a former partner.
In 1990, Men used this idea to call women 'dirty' and they still do.
'Body count' is nothing new, just a different term used to shame people.
No_County_old@reddit
If you have sex YOU GONNA DIE
hapster85@reddit
Remember sex ed, of course, and the teacher handled it in a pretty honest and open manner. Even with a room full of teenage boys asking the dumbest questions, which I think was often to mask embarrassment. It was a co-ed class, the boys were just the ones acting the dumbest about it, because teenage boys are, well, just dumb. Especially in groups. Lol
AIDS wasn't really in the national spotlight yet when I was in highschool. I think my sex ed class was sophomore year, so '82/'83. I don't recall it even being mentioned. It was probably still being referred to as "gay cancer" at that time.
MyriVerse2@reddit
That was definitely taught, but I don't think anyone actually did it.
TalkingIsNotMyThing@reddit
That's because the AIDS conversation is not being had any more, and also why cases are on the rise again.
I very much remember this being the norm even in TV shows in the 90s, as was getting tested. It was just common place back then.
1_21-gigawatts@reddit
Based on the commercials and billboards now for PrEP, etc. apparently you don’t have to worry about HIV/AIDS anymore. Too bad they don’t have something for genital warts 🤢
SimpleVegetable5715@reddit
The current administration is trying hard to get rid of Prep insurance coverage. I guess they want to bring the 80’s and early 90’s back.
astro_nerd75@reddit
The Gardasil-9 vaccine includes the strains of HPV that are responsible for most genital warts.
lusciousskies@reddit
Or for women
TalkingIsNotMyThing@reddit
Those ads might depend on what country you are in. We definately don't have them here in Australia and over the years I have found myself having to tell even gay men about PrEP, with many of them never having heard if it. Heterosexuals over here most definately have no idea what it is (for the most part).
in-a-microbus@reddit (OP)
Ya, It was a serious conversation that sometimes got a large side of black humor.
Low-Ad-8269@reddit
My family moved and put me in a private catholic high school. My secular self was shocked when we were taught that AIDS was a 'gay disease'. We also were forced to watch slideshows of abortions and were tested on all the different methods of abortion.
Needless to say, I got thrown out of class several times because I questioned this insanity in the classroom. They never mentioned anything like this in public school health class. I wasn't catholic, and I never trusted catholics after that experience.
in-a-microbus@reddit (OP)
Lol, my wife was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school and this is in stark contrast to her experience.
So stark a contrast that I don't believe this was what actually happened to you.
Low-Ad-8269@reddit
What would be the point of making something like that up? I had no problems with religion before that because I had very little experience with it. My family wasn't religious. However, when you hit a secular kid with that out of the blue, it leaves a mark. The other kids (who grew up in religious schools) were used to it. I saw it as cruel and macabre, and unfortunately, that is what stuck.
in-a-microbus@reddit (OP)
Well...assuming you're NOT a troll. I would argue that these were comments from students and you're resentment caused you to expand the blame to adults and institutions who didn't in fact make these claims because of your lingering bitterness.
Have you talked with your therapist about why you're still carrying around this anger?
Low-Ad-8269@reddit
Not sure why you are projecting anger here. I was simply sharing my comments on how AIDS was discussed in the 80s when I was in school. That was a very long time ago.
Was it my comment on the Catholic church? Seriously, dude, check their history since the 1980s. It's not particularly flattering. I left that behind after graduation and stayed clear of it all since. Yikes.
in-a-microbus@reddit (OP)
Okay. I see what's going on. You really are just a troll.
Tell Xi Jinping I said hi.
Low-Ad-8269@reddit
Whatever. I don't care.
pineapple_bandit@reddit
Body count isn't a thing.
How would knowing how many people you've had sex with indicate in any way whether or not they have an STD? That's an incredibly unreliable faulty STD screen.
Your post is ignorant and embarrassing.
StupidSexyScooter@reddit
I went to Catholic school so we were taught to be safe and discuss all the other alter boys Father Kavanaugh had been with
truthcopy@reddit
Oh, yeah. And at some point it wasn’t just having sex. It was kissing. “When you make out with someone, you’re deep throating everyone they’ve ever kissed.” I’m not sure if it was real fear of AIDS (which we didn’t understand yet) or just puritanical nonsense. O
Opening-Ad8952@reddit
The first time I ever French kissed was at summer camp. My bunkmates and I were excited pre-teens. Then we thought about AIDS and then the conversation shifted. The fear and confusion was real.
truthcopy@reddit
They even started to talk about “heavy petting” in our jr. high health classes. Holy cow, I wanted to know what heavy petting was like at that age, no matter the risk/non risk.
TakitishHoser@reddit
"You're having sex with every partner, your partner has ever had"
I remember getting tested for HIV/AIDS after every partner, while still being very selective.
I noticed some younger folks wonder why it was such a big deal that celebrities were holding HIV positive babies. There was so much stigma attached to HIV/AIDS that even research suffered for a while.
Bill Gates foundation gave a tonne to AIDS research. Some of my friends would not still be alive if it were not for the money he donated to AIDS research when no one else would.
wyocrz@reddit
Yes.
Beyond that, "body count" questions have been with us forever. You know, harems and the like (ofc lots of Hollywood nonsense about harems).
Beyond all of that, we just ratfucked the educations of millions of youngsters over a virus they didn't really need to worry about.
We Gen-X'rs maybe, just maybe, should have pointed that out, though when we did we were lumped in with "Coividiots" and summarily dismissed.
JimDee01@reddit
Not only do I remember it. I still practice it. And advocate that my partners do the same.
Federal-Membership-1@reddit
9th grade was early days for AIDS awareness.
VinceP312@reddit
I'm a gay guy, so for the 90s and 00s condom use was a must, asking question was pointless.
But now there's medication we take that will prevent infection if exposed. So now hardly anyone uses condoms.
firewifegirlmom0124@reddit
I remember a health lesson freshman year of high school. Our teacher took about 8 different colors of candies (M&Ms,Skittles and Reese’s Pieces if I remember correctly) and gave each kid candy of all one color. Then told us to go around the room and trade them for like 5 minutes with people we knew or were friendly with.
At the end of the “trading period” she had us sit back down and brought out a chart with all the candy colors linked to an STD except one color was “healthy.” We were all supposed to be surprised at how many STDs we could come in contact with without knowing it. All we really took away from it was that she gave the shy quiet “good” kids the healthy colors to start with and tried to make a point.
**it’s the only class in HS my husband and I had together. He was a shy, quiet “good kid”. I was a loud outgoing cheerleader. After I went around trading with everyone, I went back and traded with him. Lol. Our teacher was really annoyed when he ended up with just as many “STDs” as the rest of us…
BohemiaDrinker@reddit
It was not a thing for me(and as far as I know, Brazil in general).
They just REALLY hammered the need for condoms. This should not have stopped IMHO.
Key_Possibility_2286@reddit
Yeah because the "body count' thing isn't being used for that purpose, at all. It's just another bullshit thing redpill morons use to shame women. Z
None of that matters anyway since they taught us that all it takes is once with the wrong person.
Grobbekee@reddit
I think the body counters resets when you get tested and it's negative or you successfully finish the treatment.
snark_maiden@reddit
I do remember that. These days, the difference seems to be that “body count” is used for slut-shaming.
Equivalent-Room-7689@reddit
Is it though? I'm genuinely asking, not trying to argue, because my niece (millenial) constantly talks about how forward thinking her friends and their partners are about equality in sexuality.
No_Caterpillar_8573@reddit
At my school we had sex ed in 5th or 6th or sex grade (‘81 or ‘82). AIDS hadn’t really taken off at that point and we never had another class. It wasn’t even talked about during health class in high school.
HistoryGirl23@reddit
Yup. My mom was also one of the first medical folks to have a patient with AIdS in her hospital, so I remember her specifically telling us to never have sex.
Equivalent-Room-7689@reddit
I wonder what happened recently to make us think of this as I was just thinking this exact thing just yesterday.
I remember the health/sex ed teacher saying these EXACT quotes.
BIGepidural@reddit
Nope. I went to catholic school so sex ed was literally:
don't do it because you'll be branded a slut and no man will want you.
if you do it don't use a condom because God doesn't like that and if you anger God you'll burn in hell forever.
if you get pregnant, hide the pregnancy as long as you can and leave school early to have you baby elsewhere so you can place it for adoption and come back like nothing happened.
never tell anyone you had a baby out of wedlock because no man or community will ever want you or accept you.
Sex is a sin don't do it. Condoms are a worse sin don't do that. Abortion is the ultimate sin so don't do that. Hide you sin so you fit in with the rest of people who hide their sins too because yeah fear of eternal damnation and forced conformity.
No sex.
aluminumnek@reddit
Our school system didn’t have its own sex-ed class. We would just given vague details in biology class. But there was never any talk about any aspect of it at all.
No_Difference8518@reddit
No sex ed. Just a talk from my father (he was a teacher). AIDS wasn't really a thing when I was young.
Weird-one0926@reddit
no. Older genX, we didn't have sex-ed and aids was just emerging
in-a-microbus@reddit (OP)
Ya...I'm realizing I got sex ed WAY more than my peers.
We got it in 5th, 7th, 11th grade and as freshmen orientation in college.
Weird-one0926@reddit
I'm glad it happened for you. It's one of those things that a lot of early genX missed, unfortunately.
I definitely learned a lot in biology about anatomy, but nothing about the human / emotional aspect of relationships.
As a young adult in the late 80s & early 90s I was very aware of the aids crisis and there were people whose "body count" was off the charts. But that was just the times.
Looking back I knew more than my highschool peers, but not nearly enough.
Olderbutnotdead619@reddit
We had to mature quickly back then because it could really be a life or death situation.
Valuable_Tomorrow882@reddit
I remember the stress being put on being tested for STDs so you could responsibility disclose to your partner whether you were positive for anything before being intimate. I shared that with my teenage daughter who was surprised and shocked that one could have an STD without realizing it. Was so glad we had that opportunity for an educational conversation because they absolutely don’t do Sex Ed like they used to.
bird9066@reddit
I remember we wouldn't even share a bottle because no one knew how to spread.
CheesyRomantic@reddit
I knew someone like this.
It was 1992 ish.
She even was naive enough to say she felt everyone who has HIV or AIDS should just be put on an island far away from everyone else.
We were 14 years old. I was so disgusted by her comment and told her so.
It took me a few more years to finally wake up and see what a horrible person she really was.
CooperSTL@reddit
I remember.
Hell, now days some of these people will need a few hours just to go through their list.
CheesyRomantic@reddit
I do remember learning to discuss our sexual history. Looking back it is weird though….
I mean, I get it. You’re having sex with every person your partner ever had sex with. But does it matter as long as you use protection to prevent STDs and pregnancy?
Or maybe the better way to go about it is to be honest and ask if you or any of your previous partners have been diagnosed with an STD.
Because then you can make a choice for yourself if you want to be with them sexually or not. (Since protection isn’t 100% safe).
saidsara@reddit
I have never asked anyone their body count. I ask when they were last tested, what was included and what were the results. I ask if they have had any partners since the test and if protection was used.
If I ever decide to forgo condoms, a new std panel is required.
I think a lot of this stems from growing up during the AIDS Epidemic.
Foulmouthedleon@reddit
I'm kicking myself now (well...sort of) for not having more sex in the 90's. I was under the impression that everyone had it and I took "Just say No" to a new level. Oh well. Three decades later I'm still here.
Quix66@reddit
My school never taught us sex ed. Not a bit.
Oxjrnine@reddit
No, sex education in my small town was focused on pregnancy prevention and banana condoms and very little on STDs and AIDS which is why I spent 1985 to 1998 thinking I was going to die. Sex was absolutely terrifying back then. First friends were dying, then finally that slowed down but got replaced by AIDs face for several years. I remember my first friend who didn’t die and didn’t rot away wasn’t until 2002.
I didn’t get my first AIDs test until I was 25 in 96 and didn’t find out sexually active men are supposed to be tested every 3 months until I was 32 in 03.
Reaching puberty when the world promised free love and penicillin and all of a sudden a watch an entire generation start dropping like flies really messed with a lot of our heads.
Try explaining to Gen Z about survival guilt and bug chasers and they absolutely won’t get it.
I was lucky and never got it, several of my older friends died, but most of the friends my own age who got sick pulled through and have been undetectable for decades now.
DodgyRogue@reddit
As an Australian educated in public schools, we were given very good sex education. At least my class was. We were told the pros and cons of the various forms of contraceptives, the risks (in great detail) of unprotected sex, and that you can get pregnant the first time. Australian TV was also very good at warning of the dangers of AIDS and that it was a non discriminatory killer. One ad has Death bowling and the pins are just regular people, there was also a slogan of “if it’s not on, it’s not on!”
mangoserpent@reddit
The issue with the body count question is that it is used against women in a super sexist way to determine their partner work by hostile traditionalist shitheads who consume gross porn but still want the virgin wife.
In reality, men were also very judgemental about women and their sexual choices in the 80's and 90's it was just expressed a different way.
astro_nerd75@reddit
I remember. If you had sex without a condom, you were going to get pregnant, get AIDS, and die. I guess in the boys’ version you were going to get somebody pregnant?
I never had any interest in casual sex, but I’m not sure how much of that was from fear of AIDS and how much was from being demisexual.
Opening-Ad8952@reddit
Regrettably, I was taught that gay men, drug users who used dirty needles and blood transfusions caused HIV. I was in middle school so the focus was not on safe sex.
I remember seeing Ryan White on TV. He was two years older than me. I was so incredibly sad. It seemed to me that HIV was an only "adult disease'. Ryan White, rest in peace, proved that kids could acquire this disease as well.
I think there was a TV show, that had an episode with a kid having AIDS, but I don't remember what show it was.
BananaMapleIceCream@reddit
My eighth grade sex ed talked about pregnancy briefly and then moved to a many week classroom discussions about how if you had sex, you would get AIDS and die.
JLammert79@reddit
I was homeschooled so my sex ed was a little different. My mother was a nurse/midwife, so from her, one fairly innocent question when I was 13 turned into diagrams of the female reproductive system on a Denny's napkin. Front and side view of the uterus, fallopian tubes et al. I think even the busboy learned something.
From my father it was limited to "keep it wrapped and pee afterwards" and "don't screw anyone you're not willing to look at across the breakfast table for the next 18 years, accidents happen".
vwaldoguy@reddit
My sex ed training was 1 30 minute film I think 5th or 6th grade, which would have been 1981'sh. There was no mention of Aids that I remember. And I barely even remember the mention of safe sex. The film was more about the mechanics of it.
SWNMAZporvida@reddit
The FIVE DAY WAIT after getting cheated on was brutal - I thought getting HIV tested was part of the GenX punchcard.
Moons17@reddit
The whole “you’re sleeping with all of the people that your partner slept with, and all the people that their partners slept with,” point was popularized by conservative Christians using shame-based scare tactics. It served its purpose in heavily stigmatizing STI’s, especially HIV. Overall it is counterproductive in reducing STI transmission and unplanned pregnancy. Messages like these do not reduce sexual activity or increase safer sex on a population level, but they sure as hell make sure that sex happens without partners having open communication and information that could empower them to have healthier and safer sex.
Sex Ed that has the best outcomes teaches people accurate information about their bodies, how STIs are transmitted, and is inclusive (gender, sexual orientation, cultural diversity). It emphasizes the importance of consent, communication, prevention strategies, and regular testing for people who are sexually active. This type of sex ed combined with access to sexual and reproductive healthcare helps to lower the age of sexual debut, STI transmission, and unplanned pregnancy.
There is no need to share number of partners or medical records. Get your kids vaccinated for HPV at the recommended ages, regardless of sex/gender. Regular STI screening and sharing status is important. If someone has an STI, it’s best to treat what they can and talk about transmission prevention with their partner(s).
Signed, your friendly public health professional.
SerentityM3ow@reddit
I don't remember that. They just told us to in this order 1. Don't have sex 2. If you do use condoms
warrior_poet95834@reddit
😳
No-Diet-4797@reddit
"I don't know. I wasn't keeping score."
in-a-microbus@reddit (OP)
Lol...and she still married you. That's someone who appreciates good humor.
warrior_poet95834@reddit
Nothing good was going to come from an honest answer. I made the most of the 80s and the 90s before I met her.
therealgyrader@reddit
Not only was there full disclosure with pretty much every relationship I've had, but also an STD screen before having vaginal sex. What can I say, I just love being spontaneous!
495orange@reddit
As a gay teenager, the lesson was “never have sex. Your dick is a murder weapon”.
Sir_Boobsalot@reddit
no. I honestly don't remember sex ed except how to put on a condom. which has been pretty useless advice given the asexual of it all
Minirth22@reddit
I remember that (not in sex ed, because our sex ed happened in 5th grade, which was pre-AIDS era), but by 1986, when I was in high school, culturally it was in the air that everyone having sex should disclose their entire sexual history. It was an idea that was being pushed pretty hard, but I was never sure how successful it was in implementation, because I never saw it happen in actual practice. I don't think I know anyone who demanded a full sexual history from a potential partner. Questions about birth control, STDs, or the number of current partners, yes. But The Exchanging of The History is not a thing that ever happened in my life.
Practical_Wind_1917@reddit
People are shocked when I tell them my sex ed classes had videos and kid births and graphic descriptions of certain std’s and there was a large push about aids even out of sex ed classes.
Side note, the sex ed/health teacher was good friends with a couple do the local nursing school teachers. So we didn’t have the generic videos everyone else got to watch. We had the videos they show nursing students and doctors of births and other things. It was crazy.
stain57@reddit
When I was in high school AIDS wasn't a thing yet and it was called HTLV3.
meli_padme@reddit
I remember in middle school in the mid-90s there was a Sex-Ed poster in the nurse's office. The poster had one guy, "Chad" in the middle, and then branched out to other kids/classmates based on who he slept with and who those people slept with, etc, and then the story ended with "Chad" finding out he had AIDS, everyone was surprised. That stuck with me all these years later. Otherwise, I don't remember being taught to ask about sexual history in high school. We were just told to use condoms so that we would not catch STDs or get pregnant.
FrauAmarylis@reddit
Arthur Ashe came to speak to our high school about how he contracted HIV/AIDS from a blood transfusion after suffering a heart attack.
I remember being shocked that a fit tennis professional could have a heart attack because I only thought obese people had those.
And life experience has shown me that Skinny people are not necessarily healthy and that all but one of our friends who have died or gotten cancer were all thin.
My great-grandpa who lived to 107 smoked til age 62 and was fat, T2 diabetic.
It’s STRESS that kills. Depression and bottling up your feelings kills. Alcohol is carcinogenic and kills.
RCA2CE@reddit
I think it’s appropriate to ask about testing - not “body count”
Kitchen_Page9991@reddit
Toilet seats, towels, and using your hand….youll go blind.
SouthOrlandoFather@reddit
I was born in 1963 and don’t remember any sex ed. I was in Iowa and maybe it wasn’t taught in Iowa.
Apprehensive-Cat-421@reddit
100%, I remember that. Full disclosure and get tested if either partner had a sexual history.
notabadkid92@reddit
I always felt guilty that I didn't have disclosure conversations, lol. How many people actually did that? Damn PSAs!
For-Fox-Sakes-73@reddit
Lmao, my sex ed teacher told us that making love was holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes, no penis or vagina talk at all. Meanwhile, 3 of the girls in my class were either preggo at the time or became that way by the end of the semester.
Sufficient_Stop8381@reddit
They really tried to scare us out of banging, basically telling us to do a full security clearance background check, get tested twice, and wrap it 4 times. We still banged.
Trolkarlen@reddit
As a gay guy who came out in the 1990s, I know all about this stuff. Fortunately I stayed safe.
Dunnowhatevs@reddit
I just told my kids that if they couldn't honestly and openly discuss sex with their partner then they weren't old enough to be having it
platypusandpibble@reddit
Oh, yes, I remember. I also remember being in a self destructive phase and I am very shocked at my body count when I stop to think about it. Many, many partners and no condoms since I was on the pill. Only caught an STD once, and did not catch AIDS. When I hit 30, I had a moments realization that in spite of everything I am still alive.
mjs_jr@reddit
I think this is a move in the right direction, because I think asking about body count is a gateway to slut shaming someone. I think the term is inherently sex-negative. And I say this a a gay dude who panicked about every encounter during the AIDS epidemic.
EvilCaveBoy@reddit
It’s hard to convey the fear that we experienced then. People forget that when it arrived, AIDS had a 100% mortality rate. And it arrived just as we were transitioning from “eww girls” children into “hmm…girls” teenagers. I remember envying the generation before us who got to enjoy those five minutes between “the pill” and AIDS.
RetroactiveRecursion@reddit
I do remember that but I also didn't get laid until 1992 and by then I so happy to finally be gettin' some I didn't ask too many questions.
Yes, I wore a condom.
aavidrose-AZ@reddit
I know my son and his partners share medical records and he always covers up. I think different discussions are being had because Gen Y (my son refuses to use millennial) grew up knowing sex could kill.
kunk75@reddit
i always took all the rules as suggestions and lived by my own i guess
Plastic-Sentence9429@reddit
I remember quite a few girls in my grade crying because they thought they had AIDS after the presentation. The information was so poorly delivered that they thought typical menstrual symptoms or gastric upset = AIDS.
It was stupid.
National_Craft6574@reddit
No
Historical_Touch_124@reddit
Born in 70, never had the 'sexual history' talk with anyone I've been with. Married 10+ years, and have never talked to my wife about her or my past... we just assume we both had one. I don't feel the need to get into either of our details, mainly since it's all meaningless. The whole "body count" discussions seem to come from the insecure people who get mad if their partner has had more fun than them in the past.
Own_Instance_357@reddit
The dangerous thing today is not that HIV will kill you, because if you get on a proper med regimen you should live just as long as anyone else, unless something else gets you.
It's that the current generation of young people has now been led to believe it's not that big a deal, because these days you can live, so they don't get tested ... and the virus HIV is DEFINITELY still in regular circulation.
And especially in a country like the USA where lots of young people go without proper health insurance after they're kicked off their parents' policies at age 26, by the time they figure out they are positive, their immune systems have possibly already been swiss cheesed.
Your mind might know that it's 2025, but your very human body does not.
Darkest_Brandon@reddit
Yes
Repulsive-Tea6974@reddit
I’ve wish I had had a reason to exchange such important information.
Oliviasfool@reddit
I remember.
Infamous_Towel_5251@reddit
I don't remember anything like that. We just had "Use a condom!" burned into our brains.