Are any GenXers unable to talk on the phone with strangers?

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my4floofs@reddit

Phone call cut through a bunch of bs emails or chat messages. I don’t care if the younger generation thinks it’s rude. If it can’t be asked and answered in two rounds of email, I am calling you on you teams, ring, office phone or cell

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chopper5150@reddit

I’ve always hated making phone calls like this. Typically just had to wait for the right time and psych myself up for it.

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rskurat@reddit

yeah even now (58yo) I have to make an outline before I call or I go off on tangents or miss important points I wanted to make

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SassholeSupreme1@reddit

Same. I don’t like it at all. If I have to I will. Most of the time I let calls go to VM then decide if I need to call back. And FaceTime…I really hate it. Unless it’s my husband or son, forget it. I’m not sure why I have such anxiety about phone calls, I used to love talking on the phone.

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tsays@reddit

Will.Not.FaceTime.

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PenelopePitstop7088@reddit

I HATE talking on the phone now (when I was a teen in the 80’s that was my favorite past time). I’ll usually only talk to my husband and parents, not even my kids but they usually text only anyway. I can handle placing an order, but I’ll go online first to see if it can be placed there. What I really hate is calling businesses like ATT or even worse Amazon. I can do it - I just don’t like to. I screen ALL my work calls to see what they want first. It really annoys me when they call and just leave their number and no reason for calling. It is odd I am this way now because as I said, when I was a teen I loved talking on the phone. I could probably talk for hours. Maybe I’m just old and cranky now.

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ImSMHattheWorld@reddit

F'ing video calls are from the devil.

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Content_Mood9680@reddit

I won’t participate in those.

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rskurat@reddit

I once lost track of time doing yardwork for my mom and rushed inside for a Zoom meeting. Ten minutes in I realized I was wearing a ratty old olive-drab T-shirt with stains on it. Not my finest moment

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peicatsASkicker@reddit

peri/meno brings anxiety. it's worse if you had undiagnosed adhd!

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SassholeSupreme1@reddit

I’ve been on HRT for a long time now and actually found the best thing for me. But yeah I do have lots of anxiety and possibly ADHD. I just really don’t want to add any more medication to the already long list of pills I currently take. Over a dozen at night most are to control my epilepsy, so those absolutely ones I’ll be one forever.

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GreenStretch@reddit

gif

We were warned early about the dangers of video calls.

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SassholeSupreme1@reddit

I always thought of this when my mom would say she had to put her face on. 😂

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chopper5150@reddit

This is soooo me. My phone is for my convenience and a few people. I remember thinking how cool video calls would be, when watching the Jetsons, but now you have a 0% chance of me answering FaceTime.

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VastFaithlessness999@reddit

I need to do that! As a 57 yo, my business calls sound like this....."yea,uh hmm, so I, I think, yea so I was calling for uhh uhh. I need to. What was i calling for? Oh yes! I uhm need to umm make an appointment with the doctor!"

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captkirkseviltwin@reddit

Not all cases, but in many cases, just practicing works wonders, like any skill. Is it possible that your area has a local Toastmasters branch? They cost money, but not prohibitively so, and offer a group to stand in front of and speak to, who offer helpful critique. I’ve been to a couple of their meetings gratis, never joined because I had other opportunities, but they seemed like a very helpful group ( my local branch, anyway).

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rskurat@reddit

and then Im like oh shit I shouldve had my calendar app open already

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VastFaithlessness999@reddit

I need to do that also. Lol. "Yes, August 5 is fine, anytime of day is fine." Call back the next day, "sorry, I need to reschedule, I work August 5"

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Cranks_No_Start@reddit

I don’t see that on the same level as the Zers being afraid and having panic attacks because they need to make a call.

If I’m making a call about something important I’ll make notes so I get the information I need and want, that just makes sense.

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rskurat@reddit

they medicalize everything now, and I will bet anything that desensitization would work. Start slow with 90 second phone calls w grandma, and slowly work up to 10 minute calls with a peer. Then call an 800 number to get real practice. Its not that different from.learning public speaking - that took me ten years!

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Cranks_No_Start@reddit

they medicalize everything now,

That’s it. Not everything is a medical/mental issue. Growing up I knew people that were nervous but no one that had anxiety or had a breakdown.

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Thatstealthygal@reddit

*raises hand* I had anxiety and a breakdown.

It wasn't as heavily medicalised or minutely diagnosed as it is today and fortunately I had parents who made allowances for me when I was quite needy, and I just sorted myself out. I often wonder how close I was to becoming a life-long professional mental health patient and what little factors were in place that helped me not become that person.

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rskurat@reddit

when I was in grammar school I had what they now would call crippling social anxiety (sheltered kids). I got over it by 6th grade and was flourishing by 8th grade, without drugs or therapy.

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Jaesha_MSF@reddit

That’s normal though.

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DeadBy2050@reddit (OP)

I totally get this. But the thing is, it clearly sounds like you're functional and do what you need to do.

Same with my kids (in their 20s now). As teens, they always hated when I had them make phone calls to strangers (usually to order stuff or to resolve issues), but they did it while giving me side eye. I'm sure their preference is still to avoid phone calls if they have other options; but it's not something that makes them dysfunctional.

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Whydmer@reddit

People who struggle in these situations have social anxiety that is crippling them. I know mine has been getting worse over the past 5-10 years.

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StacyVye@reddit

My social anxiety was getting worse and worse until my doctor had me try a beta blocker for my hypertension. While it's still there to a certain extent (hate talking on the phone but can do it when I have to) the medication has really helped.

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Whydmer@reddit

We're you taking other anti-hypertensive Meds and switched to a beta blocker? Or was this the first medication for high blood pressure?

Mine is almost certainly tied to my ADHD, that I've known I have but wasn't officially diagnosed with until this summer. I'm hoping to get that controlled and that will help diminish my anxiety.

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StacyVye@reddit

the beta blocker was added on to my other bp med

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darkest_irish_lass@reddit

Even when I was an incredibly shy and awkward teen I didn't mind talking on the phone. I actually preferred it, since I didn't think the other person was judging me on my appearance or age.

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SuburbanBushwacker@reddit

yeah we even had the expression ‘hiding behind the phone’ as a 16 year old i sounded like an adult

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Whydmer@reddit

I had no issues being on the phonr when I was a teen either. I think the constant use of my smartphone for everything as well as my noticeably worsening anxiety/social anxiety, is resulting in a completely new apprehension to being on the phone. I can still do it, but I wonder what I'll be like in 5 years or so.

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Ennuiology@reddit

Your social anxiety has gotten worse? I thought I was alone in mine getting worse over the years. I think the convenience of using apps for everything has enabled me to stay in the house so much (I even work from home) that I don’t feel like myself when I go out and have to get home as soon as possible. I’m sorry yours has gotten worse but I’m glad to know I’m not alone.

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InterestPractical974@reddit

"Screens" have really made this a more constant occurrence in my life. I would be so much better off if tech hadn't infiltrated our lives like it did. I was normal socially until smartphones entered my life and now it's a constant struggle to make sure I'm balancing myself. I feel bad for younger generations, I don't feel like they should be blamed or teased for the anxiety tech has created. Its real.

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Full-Boat-175@reddit

Naw, sometimes we just can't hear and find calls so frustrating

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chopper5150@reddit

Exactly, I may not have liked it, but you gotta be a big boy and handle your business. Nowadays they don’t even try.

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AlmeMore@reddit

This. Just grow the fuck up, face your discomfort, and do what is necessary for the day’s agenda to proceed. It’s not that hard!

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phxor@reddit

I’m solidly genx, absolutely hate making phone calls, I survived this by just picking up the phone and ordering that pizza, hated every moment of it, can sorta still do this skill if necessary.. I also survived years of conference calls and meetings as well, still not a fan

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SecondToLastOfSheila@reddit

I think the current vibe is to fetishize and glamourize having mental trauma. Everyone defines themselves by any perceived mental issue.

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DfWZrgYf@reddit

Yeah seems like every other person is neurodivergent these days...

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Thatstealthygal@reddit

IF we are all neurodivergent, is anybody?

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Major-Afternoon8304@reddit

These kids have been and continue to be trained to think of themselves as having “mental health issues” and requiring medication for any life event that might cause the slightest stress. My god, my adolescence was an ongoing series of stress inducing events. Learning to cope with it, to recognize that some things aren’t that important, to prioritize what matters, to solve problems, and to accept the harsh realities that being told “No” and not getting exactly what you want all of the time are not human rights violations. I don’t say this because I think “these kids” are somehow deficient or defective. I say it because I worry terribly about my granddaughters. My 4 daughters range in age from 29-40, and my oldest granddaughter is now 15. I am so lucky that all 4 of my daughters are stable, happy, well-adjusted, and gainfully employed in jobs & careers they love. Their mother deserves FAR more credit for that than I. But I think of the situations my granddaughters face and will continue to confront, and I shudder.

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spyder7723@reddit

I've embraced this and just say I'm aggressive autistic.

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SecondToLastOfSheila@reddit

I mean, I work with people with severe mental issues everyday but it seems like everyone's the kind of autistic that doesn't land you in the hospital for having a breakdown.

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spyder7723@reddit

Yep. Autism is so thrown around you'd think it was the common child.

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NotoldyetMaggot@reddit

common cold? but yes I agree. As an autistic person I have to suck it up, write notes, and make the damn phone call. It irritates me when it gets used as a universal excuse instead of people actually trying and learning how to do a thing. If you can't even make a phone call, then you have bigger problems, start with the small thing first and maybe you will get better at it.

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Pedantic_Girl@reddit

Sounds like my husband, who gets pissed off when people use ADHD as an excuse for bad behavior. Sometimes they are just being a dick - it has nothing to do with ADHD.

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spyder7723@reddit

Agreed. We are all born with a bad hand of cards. Some of us learn to play that hand to the best of our ability and others use that bad hand as an excuse for why they can't do things.

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NotoldyetMaggot@reddit

As much as I hate to say it, we were the last "suck it up and deal with it" generation. Rub some dirt on it!

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new2bay@reddit

I would say the current fashion is more about invalidating people with trauma.

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SecondToLastOfSheila@reddit

There's a lot of people who think any kind of bad experience is traumatic. And no one wants to deal with trauma, just wallow in it.

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new2bay@reddit

You clearly know nothing about trauma. Just about anything can be traumatic. You seem like exhibit A for what I just said.

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SecondToLastOfSheila@reddit

That's fine, I wasn't talking about YOU.

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LemurCat04@reddit

So many people learned therapy words and have since drained them of all meaning by applying them to anything remotely related.

“They’re gaslighting you.”
No, they’re just a lying sack of shit; they’re not trying to make you question your own sanity.

“I’m traumatized.”
No, you are angry about being mildly inconvenienced.

Honestly, it’s just so fucking hyperbolic and dramatic.

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Major-Afternoon8304@reddit

AMEN! COVID exacerbated the problem because it gave people already inclined, encouraged, and IMO trained to think in those terms the chance to spend an entire year wallowing in it. I’m really quite alarmed at the number of people who cannot function when put in a position where direct communication with another person is required. And this is learned behavior.

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laurellangley@reddit

I agree. Learning new skills is a part of life. Everything takes practice. No one starts off at 100%. I am a teacher, and it has been so sad watching kids give up if they can't do something on the first try. Then we have a good percentage that are too scared to even try. I blame the parents because they are so quick to email me to excuse their kid from something that scares them. We are talking basic life skills, sigh.

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truejabber@reddit

I think this is part of the difference. My girls (19 and 25) don't like it but they do it. Same as me if I'm honest. But, we had them make calls for things like doctor appointments since they were 14 or 15. We were there with them for support if they were asked something they didn't know, and now they know what they need for info and stuff so they just do it. I know a lot of GenX who made all those calls for their kids (among lots of other things like cooking, cleaning, fixing stuff, etc) and then wonder why they struggle when on their own. Our jobs are to prepare them for life, not shield them from it.

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elphaba00@reddit

Same. I remember as a kid having to RSVP for a friend’s birthday party. This was pre-cell phone, so it was her parents’ landline. So it was phone roulette who would answer. I asked my parents to do it for me. And as Boomers, they decided I should tackle the problem head on - make the call or not go. I melted down. I said I’d tell her at school. Not good enough. I said I’d pass a note. Nope. I tried to make all sorts of deals. It took all sort of inner strength, but I did it

Even today, I look for the email or text way to handle things first. Then I have to tell myself, “Ok, I’ll call at 1:00.” And if it gets to 1:05, I tell myself that I’ll do it at 2.

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chopper5150@reddit

I wonder if the home phone days are what scarred us; playing roulette as to would answer the phone, afraid an authority figure would answer. I always tell people if they have a question to email me so I can see what they need, instead of scrambling on the phone.

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elphaba00@reddit

I called a friend on her birthday. Her dad picked up the phone and told me that they were having family time. He hung up before I could say "sorry." I had known her dad since my friend and I were toddlers so it wasn't like I was a complete stranger. It was just so off-putting.

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chopper5150@reddit

Yep, definitely where our aversion to phone calls came from, that stuff was so nerve wracking.

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shedwyn2019@reddit

Yep. This is me and why I have not done several important things: I cannot bring myself to call and schedule/verify/inquire.

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tinypill@reddit

Yep, same. I used to just bite the bullet and do it because I HAD to. Nowadays it’s easier to avoid.

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haveanapfire@reddit

I lowkey hate cellphones. It feels like I need to be always on when I just want to chill. I think that's why I have to psych myself up to make a phone call now.

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AbsintheAGoGo@reddit

It only got worse when I worked having to be on the phone. Now I psych myself up for it because I loathe it, but it's got to get done.

It's wild how these kids are copping out bc they don't want to and another way exists. I know because I have one that's like that and it drives me batty.

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ThermionicEmissions@reddit

Obligatory

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Bindy12345@reddit

Same here.

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Doublejimjim1@reddit

I hate making cold calls to places where I have to explain what I want. I find it super annoying especially when the person on the other end is acting like this is the first time anyone has asked them to do their job. But I'm not nearly as bad as some people are at this. If I can do something online I will do that every single time. I think this is just another extravert old person who has absolutely no understanding that people can be different than them.

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nottodayautoimmune@reddit

Ugh, I’d happily pick cleaning my bathroom most of the time over making or receiving a phone call. I have a panic attack and forget how to word when the phone rings unexpectedly. The social anxiety is overwhelming. Caller ID is one of the best inventions ever!

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Kindly-Might-1879@reddit

I hear you! But we did it! I still have to psych myself up but it’s such a regular process over 50+ years, that I usually can jump on the call knowing it will be over with soon enough.

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Jld114@reddit

Yup, me too

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Id_in_hiding@reddit

I have the same anxiety for whatever reason. I hate making calls to anyone except family and friends and even then there is still a hint of anxiety with those too. I end up procrastinating until I have no room to reschedule. I’m an introvert which people just called “shy” back then.

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babsmutton@reddit

One time about 10 years ago I had to call the IRS. I'm still on hold.

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Informal_Border8581@reddit

I don't like making phone calls either. Part of it is anxiety but moreso that I just don't want to deal with other people's crap. Sure it can be just calling to make an appointment, but I don't know what's going on with the other person.

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Sabbathius@reddit

I always hated phone ringing, because it was never good news. I never once picked up a phone and it's "Hi, you just won a million dollars!", it's always "So, grandma died..." If a phone rang, it was never, never, never good news. At best, it was mediocre news.

Ever since custom ringtones became a thing, I always made sure to change it to a melody instead of anything even vaguely resembling a ringtone. Just so I wouldn't get a pang of anxiety from the sound. And I made sure to change up the melody now and again, when it started to get locked in as bad-news-sound.

But I wouldn't say I was unable to do it. I would have preferred not to, but it's not like there was any choice back then.

And I don't blame young people for not using voice comms. It's inefficient. Try it. Cold-call a business, and they'll have you spelling out your name using the NATO phonetic alphabet and shit. And still make mistakes. But if you send an email or a text, something written, they can process it at their own pace, with fewer entry mistakes because it's just copy-paste. It makes total sense to me why they would switch, and just not bother developing verbal skills.

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NomadicSTEM@reddit

I married a social Gen Y husband to make my calls for me. He is also attractive enough that strangers went to help him so he also takes care of any in-person customer service. Before him I would just eat the cost and walk away from irritating transactions.

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epicureansucks@reddit

It’s not that hard. You just dial the number and speak to someone. I’m fairly good at it.

I’m an extrovert and my work involves taking to new people every day.

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Kaethor@reddit

I work with a zoomer who was trying to get internet hooked up at his new apartment last week. He gave his CC info to one company that charged him $65 and immediately told him they don't service his area. He let them end the call without giving him a refund and he was clueless what to do next. Watching him try to make adult decisions was almost humorous if it wasn't so shockingly sad and scary.

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Fluffy-Flamingo3983@reddit

A lot of GenXers (myself included) don’t like talking to people in general… unless I know the person on the other end of the phone, I have no desire to pick up.

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padall@reddit

I've never liked making phone calls, but I've noticed it's even worse now. If you don't use it, you lose it, as they say.

That being said, when I have to make a phone call, I'm perfectly capable of doing so. I just exhaust every other option first and use it as a last resort 😂 I don't even like talking to my mom on the phone anymore.

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AcrobaticTrouble3563@reddit

I remember being verrry shy about this sort of thing, but then I got over it. Because I had to. I still don't like it, but we never really had a choice.

Its a lot easier to avoid now. Between that and the general fragility of young folks these days, some of them never learn.

I feel like the fact that they have so many avenues to avoid doing things that feel hard is a part of the reason for their fragility.

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RedditNewbe65@reddit

Its not Gen X, Spanky. Its Gen Z and Millenials (sp?)

My kids still can't talk on a phone age 30 and 28.

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ThatThingOnTheFloor@reddit

Yes this and many other things are crippling to me now. I can suck it up and do it if it’s important. Important being doctor’s office for my myriad of chronic ailments or auto mechanic, etc. I used to be able to breeze through it all effortlessly. Until I reached what they told me was autistic burnout. Suddenly I regressed, HARD. Turned out I should have been diagnosed back in the early 90’s and went all this time thinking everyone else was like this too.

So now it’s the dance of all my self taught coping mechanisms were wrong and I gotta undo that and learn new coping mechanisms with half my life behind me. I only have so many tasks per day my mental load can handle without sending me into a full blown meltdown.

It’s even worse at the drive-thru. Talking into that little box is infinitely more horrifying than a phone call to me. Can’t understand anything the workers say, can’t read the damn menu, and there is a line of cars behind me starting to get impatient. Yep should have just ordered DoorDash, now I’m having a meltdown in public and definitely not hungry anymore. God forbid if they get my order wrong, I won’t eat it and won’t send it back either just keep driving home. Defeated.

It is similar after a non-necessary phone call. Just drained and there went the rest of the day just because Acquaintance A couldn’t wait 39 more seconds to send a text, or Mom just HAD to Face Time…

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Rosemary_Woodhouse@reddit

I'm uncomfortable complaining or asking for help. I had narcissistic, abusive parents, so if they were home, they were only concerned with themselves. I got hit a lot for talking, asking, or being. I can't speak for all Gen Xers, but I never had anything so I never asked for help fixing or working on something. Now that I do, I research it or find a video.

I'm surprised at the younger generation that asks on Reddit when a Google search is free. But these younger generations grew up with people who cared about them. I don't know what that's like. You guys just ask your parents a question and they look at you and talk to you. That sounds surreal.

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lemon-rind@reddit

I have to call people at work and basically demand information. I don’t mind talking on the phone, never have.

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The_Outsider27@reddit

I was better at speaking on the phone with companies until automated phone chat hell happened.

"it sounds like you said you need to pay your bill..."

NO I SAID I NEED TO GET A PRESCRIPTION FILLED.

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lemon-rind@reddit

AGENT!!!!!! AGENT!!!!!!

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ThisSaladTastesWeird@reddit

I’d rather not. My slightly younger (and much more extroverted) partner knows and does most of the phone “work” in our relationship (ordering food, yadda yadda). I will say that I am waaay less hung up on this since I started teaching university and have to talk to people (sometimes on the phone) for a living.

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More_Law6245@reddit

In my chosen profession the phone is an essential part of my job and I'm very comfortable with using a phone, I'm a little perplexed with the younger generation as I'm starting to struggle with half-assed text messages.

If you have time to send a half-assed text then you have time to use punctuation, it's just a courtesy and hash hash smiley face doesn't scream professional somehow (now I do feel old) with the time that they have saved with the half-assed text, you couldn't have saved enough time to build a fusion reactor! Just saying.

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thisgirlnamedbree@reddit

It's literally my job (secretary for early intervention program). I speak with parents, social workers, doctors, paralegals, etc, and I also have to make calls too. I do dread calling parents whose babies are referred to us due to drugs or other sensitive situations, but I steel myself. You can't have anxiety doing what I do.

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Fragrant-Tradition-2@reddit

I can do it, but I hate it, and it makes me anxious.

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Wild_Tea_2724@reddit

Haha! I belong to an introvert group and offered to make any call for compensation:) Im an extroverted introvert so I can and will talk to anyone on the phone or in person. My shark tank retirement plan?

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Thrashbear@reddit

I have experience in telephone customer service. That experience has helped me communicate with other CSRs because I "know the script".

The act of calling still fills me with anxiety. And don't get me on freeform phone conversations. Two people in my life enjoy calling on the phone, I just grit my teeth and bear it for their benefit.

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Responsible-Kale-904@reddit

Like MANY workers and jobseekers aged 17 to 77 years,

I utterly HATE talking on the phone; it is so stressful

My side of the story is not told; my side of the story is TRAMPLED,,

😢🫣😢🫣🤢😡😢😢🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣😢🫣🫣🫣

Email and TEXT for the Win!!

🔥❄️🔥❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️☁️🌥️🌱💮🌺🥀🥀💚💚💚

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PeakColour@reddit

Yep. My wife and brother in law are both incapable of making, receiving phone calls from most people, sometimes even family members. Fun fact, my brother in law used to work for the qc department at a call centre monitoring the people making phone calls.

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Dog_Callis_MNshiba@reddit

We are entirely capable, we just hate it with a vehement passion

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urbancowgirlkitty@reddit

I had my girls start using the phone so they could be comfortable calling customer service, banks, food orders, doc offices. It’s very awkward at first but I wanted them to get used to it. My youngest was 19 getting on insurance and the lady asked for her SS# she said you give me yours and I will give you mine! She didn’t trust anyone!

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bored2death2@reddit

Zero problem talking with strangers...when I get a repeat call from a new number that's not marked "SPAM" by google? I'll pickup, it's probably someone who got a wrong phone number. I'm polite, helpful, and wish them a good day.

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spacefaceclosetomine@reddit

I can without issue and despise most every second. I too talked for hours and hours in the phone and now it’s a rarity to do so outside of work.

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Jorost@reddit

I have an intermittent speech impediment that tends to get worse on the phone. Not always, but often enough that it very early put me off making such phone calls. Before texting or other alternatives I would often simply not make the call at all and the issue would just go unresolved.

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One-Rip2593@reddit

I hate the phone, even calls with family and friends. But I’ll do it.

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reginaphalangie79@reddit

I don't even like talking on the phone with my family and friends. I feel so awkward on the phone and don't even get me started on video calls!

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DeadBy2050@reddit (OP)

I fucking despise video calls. Now I gotta wait till the call is over to pick my nose and scratch my balls.

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Xistential0ne@reddit

Dude, point the camera at your face on a video call and sit at a desk. You can scratch your balls all call long. Ain’t nobody gonna see if you angle your camera the right way. I mean like duh Broh.

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DeadBy2050@reddit (OP)

You're making my point for me. When I'm on a phone call that's more than 2 minutes, I'm on speaker phone lying on my back or sitting down and pissing on the dry part of the bowl to minimize noise. I'm not sitting up at a desk trying to keep myself in frame.

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Ok-Maize-284@reddit

You know you can just mute the phone while you’re peeing. That’s what I do! Especially since I’m a woman and I can’t pee quietly lol

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Xistential0ne@reddit

Oh God, 😂 you know those virtual backgrounds you can put behind you in Zoom? I think they really need to make one that’s a bathroom stall. It’d be even better if they could pipe and sound effects.

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DeadBy2050@reddit (OP)

You just gave me an idea. Custom backgrounds are a thing. A couple coworkers have pics of their actual offices as backgrounds when they zoom from home.

I think I'll take a pic of a bathroom stall to use as my stock background.

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laurellangley@reddit

You have to make the jankiest truck stop bathroom. Door falling off its hinges in the background, old beat up sink, crackhead in the corner, well maybe not that, but points for creativity.

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Kpop_shot@reddit

LMAO!! You may have the next big idea! Have it where a person can design the back ground like they want it. Think sketchy looking stall with missing tiles, graffiti, maybe some illegible phone numbers written on the walls. And if you get called on to answer something, throw out the straining face! This is golden!

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Cranks_No_Start@reddit

While not afraid of them I’m not a fan of them. I don’t need to see someone to talk to them. Even my wife, as much as I love her I do t need to use FaceTime unless I’m showing her something.

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d297bc33a9@reddit

I just tell them I'm having technical difficulties & text/chat instead.

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Perfect_Distance434@reddit

I really have to schedule a block time ahead of the occasion maybe because I know I have to really focus on the call itself.

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tehfrod@reddit

I see this take a lot and I don't understand it. I would far rather do video calls than phone calls.

It's been over ten years since I had to do a phone call for work. Nowadays there are more days when I do video calls than when I don't (most of my team is across the country).

There is so much communication that is harder when you can't see someone's face.

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laurellangley@reddit

And you can see if the other person is paying attention. I always hated phone calls with certain people because i could tell they weren't paying attention. Video calls give much needed context.

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HammerMeUp@reddit

Hard no on video calls.

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Concentrate-Upper@reddit

Yeah that’s an ABSOLUTE brick hard NO on video calls! Have never done it MEVRR will!

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GrumpyCatStevens@reddit

I don't like talking on the phone, but somehow I found myself in an inside sales position. Which requires at least some time talking on the phone! It took me a while to get comfortable talking on the phone, and I still prefer working through emails, but I can do it.

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TotallyDissedHomie@reddit

Yeah I tried a few times early on, other than my partner it’s awkward as hell unless one of us is somewhere interesting and we can look at something besides each other’s face.

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kazoogrrl@reddit

I did very few zoom group calls in 2020 because I can't figure out when to talk, worry that if I'm doing something to keep my hands occupied I'll seem like I don't care, and can't read body language well through the screen. Afterwards I always felt completely drained. I can do video meetings since I'm in work mode, though having to make international calls always makes my blood pressure go up.

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Azerafael@reddit

I've seen some of those posts about GenZ being unable to talk on the phones. My only assumption on yhe difference between GenX and GenZ is that we grew up without an option.

If the phone rang and no one was there to pick it up then we had to do it no matter what. And perhaps over time it just became habitual to us to pick up the phone and talk.

GenZ however, had options when young. They could just text or get online and get stuff done without any direct interaction. This also became habitual to the point of it becoming a hindrance.

Here's something from GenX past that I'm guessing a lot of us hated, ie going to pay the bills at the post office every month. My god, nightmares still about the traffic, the crowds and queues, and excuses I'll have to make to my boss for having a late lunch. When everything switched to payments online, i was over the moon with joy.

If we had online payments back then, I'm pretty sure we all would have taken that option.

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DoubleDrummer@reddit

I’m not scared of talking on the phone.
I don’t hate talking on the phone.
I just really don’t want to talk on the phone.

If a phone call is the best way to get something sorted, I will usually just get it over and done with.
These days many things are done more easily, efficiently and accurately online.

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Duncaneli12@reddit

I dont like to do it mainly because I have to listen to a dang automated system and I just want to talk to a person.

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Space_Case_Stace@reddit

LoL I only talk to my kids and my aunt on the phone. I don't want to talk on the phone so I don't.

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Ordinary-Hat5379@reddit

It's not my favourite thing, but if it needs doing I do it. Also, often find you can get better results by talking to someone.

However, some of my younger colleagues are freaked out when I actively choose to call someone rather than waiting for online answers - even if I do always follow it up with the 'as we discussed' email to have a verifiable trail later.

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ExcellentHorror9025@reddit

Never had an issue calling anyone for anything my whole life, even as a kid so I can't relate or understand. Sorry don't see the big deal and I'm a pretty strong introvert

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SewerHarpies@reddit

My mom refused to make those phone calls when I was a kid and made me do it. I hated it then and I hate it now. I have skipped eating for a day if the only way to get food was to call on the phone. If someone calls me about a bill I need to pay, I send it to voicemail, take care of it online, and ignore the calls till their system updates. Before online payments I sent a check in the mail.

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-ACatWithAKeyboard-@reddit

I also hate phone calls. I'm happy SMS was invented, but ppl still refuse, and demand to talk.

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Sad-Masterpiece-9709@reddit

I would generally go out of my way to talk to whoever it was in person. If I needed to make a call I’d have to psych myself up to do so. Sometimes it was easy. Other times it’d be days or weeks before I could. I still do that. Doing things online has been the best thing ever.

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JohanBroad@reddit

I never had a problem with talking on the phone. Dunno why anyone would, either.

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MrsDottieParker@reddit

Not until the last 10 years or so. I loved talking on the phone to friends, family, and dudes I had crushes for many hours in the 80s-00s.

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ApatheistHeretic@reddit

Unable? No. Unwilling? Yes!

If I don't know you, you get to plead your case to my voice mail. You may get that treatment if I do know you...

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newbris@reddit

I've gone the whole spectrum over a lifetime. When I was young I used to really not like it.

Whereas now, I still make notes to make sure I have everything to hand, but am a phone call master of getting what I want from insurance companies etc :)

I think more confidence allows you to relax and think of what to say. Whereas when you're young and shy, your brain can freeze up in those situations.

My wife says I flirt on the phone either call centre staff, but I think its just being friendly ha ha

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secret_someones@reddit

talk on the phone? i grew up on the phone from the time i got home from school until bed, now i refuse to answer the phone unless it is one of three people.

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Strict-Artichoke-361@reddit

Same! A few weeks ago, I had a missed call from my aunt & she left a message. I had texted her back and we just chatted thru text. She passed away last week & I have yet to play the message because I won’t be able to stop crying.

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SherryGabs@reddit

I had no trouble whatsoever when I was younger. It was how everyone communicated, after all. Nowadays, I’d rather not. I’ve become a hermit. 😆

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JSTootell@reddit

I have a combination of PTSD from debt collectors (family destroyed my finances while I was deployed) and I have a difficult time understanding conversations on the phone. So I avoid phone calls.

I can deal with conversations face to face and prefer text, but I hate the phone. If I have to talk on the phone I have to try and find a quiet place and put my headphones in. Still hate it.

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Snoo_96358@reddit

I put off making phone calls as long as I can...hate calling strangers, even to schedule something like repair work.

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teacher860@reddit

I actually will go in person to make an appointment if that is an option. I have been wanting to change doctors and last week showed up at an office and asked to make an appointment; luckily it worked out!

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Public_Ad_9578@reddit

I did inside sales for 15+yrs. I can talk to ANYONE.

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electrictatco@reddit

Not me, I love talking to random people on the phone. I hate that it's seldom an option to get a live agent these days.

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tsays@reddit

I skew email if I can. I hate making calls like this. I am ABLE, but find it irritating.

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poolpog@reddit

My ex wife, yes. Always had trouble with this even in the era before texting.

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Angry_Tomato_@reddit

I often have to psych myself up for days and make notes about what I am going to say. I don’t like confrontation, and in all these customer service calls you have to have your facts straight and be ready for a fight. It takes good preparation and courage.

Fortunately for me, I am pretty good as asking for what I want and sticking to my guns until I get it. So when I finally realize I need to make the call because putting it off is causing too much stress, I down some liquid courage and do it.

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RetroBerner@reddit

Not unable, but unwilling for sure. Text me or lose my number.

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Agua_Frecuentemente@reddit

I 'can' do it. I 'can' do anything. I fucking hate it though

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painterlyjeans@reddit

I really don’t like talking on the phone

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praetorian1979@reddit

After 21 years of having to take and make business calls if I don't know you I'm not answering.

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RealTigerCubGaming@reddit

My problem has always been being nice to people when I call. It’s taken a lot of years of therapy but I can do it now. But now it’s not as fun. 🤩

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FoldedaMillionTimes@reddit

I still prefer the phone to texting, though I mostly text because you kinda have to. I do have a client who's actually older than me by a couple of years who hates talking on the phone.

All that said, I have ADHD. So for any kind of important call, I often write down notes before calling, listing the things I need to ask or say. Otherwise, I'll lose the thread and wander into a seminar on the Black Dahlia Murder, or various odd things about human perception and memory, or the underestimation of the value of comic books for children, or the best ink pens, etc.

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ShaChoMouf@reddit

I fall into that category -- but as a result from years of working customer service jobs. I'm a little shell-shocked from years of dealing with Karens. No one really uses a phone anymore anyway - almost all the calls i receive from strangers are scammers (which erodes trust even more). Could i deal with customer service to resolve a warranty issue? Yeah. Am i going to like it? Not one bit.

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TxGalNP@reddit

GenX here. No issues talking on phone with strangers. Growing up phone (landline) was only way to communicate.

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nerdPatrol2@reddit

It’s weird, I actually prefer video calls because I can see the person I’m talking to, second best is speaker phone. There’s something about the amorphous voice on the phone the wigs me out. I can’t focus, I get flustered. I hate it

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nerdPatrol2@reddit

Yes, the answer is, they didn’t get done! If it required a phone call… SOL. I only started making doctors appointments when they could be done online. Worse case scenario, I’ll do it in person if it can’t be done online or via text or email. So I guess the answer is I would go to the place in person, or I probably sent a letter. Because before the advent of the internet email, online forms, text, most things were accomplished via postal mail.

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Recynd2@reddit

I CAN, but I don’t WANT to. Hell, I don’t want to talk on the phone with people I do know.

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StreetCarp665@reddit

What we did was learn it's ok to feel challenged, but the world won't stop for us. Consequently, we learned to build coping strategies so we weren't rendered inoperable by setbacks.

We've then parented in a way that has left people inoperable in the face of setbacks.

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Zealousideal_Draw_94@reddit

I had a problems with that, and still uncomfortable cold calling people, but I worked at a call center for a couple years and learned to do it.

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Avasia1717@reddit

i never liked calling strangers, so my parents made me order the pizza every time. even though i knew exactly how the conversation would go i still hated it and it didn’t help me overall.

the dumb this is even though i still hate it, whenever i do call some business or the doctor or whatever, everything goes fine and there was never any reason to not want to call.

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JustSayin-maybe@reddit

GenZ is full of weak minded and incapable activists - they need to just stop whining and get themselves together and be productive members of society.

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Key-Educator-3018@reddit

Me I can't talk on the phone at all lately. It was always a trial but just a big nope these days

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MarvinHeemeyersTank@reddit

Unable? No.

Unwilling? Eh... 🤷‍♂️

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Chicagogirl72@reddit

Unable? No. Unwilling? Yes

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Medium-to-full@reddit

When i was a kid my mom would call her parents. Her dad NEVER answered the phone. If my grandmother wasn't home, it just rang. When grandma died this continued, but moved to screening every call over the answering machine and even then if you said enough on the machine, no need to answer the phone. Kids want to say goodnight, either day it to the answering machine or "ring once"

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Responsible_Side8131@reddit

I can and do make calls to strangers regularly.

That said, yes, I hate doing it.

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Medium-to-full@reddit

Sounds more like Late Millenial and on.

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Puzzleheaded_Fly7697@reddit

Eh. Not unable. But I will take any other available option first. If I can email or text, or if there's an app, I'll pick that

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Shot_Construction455@reddit

My husband, who barely makes the Gen X cut (1965) can't do it but has a diagnosed anxiety disorder. I just handle that stuff for him.

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Myeloman@reddit

I don’t have issues making calls or talking on the phone, but gawd am I sick of endless automated phone trees sending you in circles. I always end up at an operator anyway, so can we just cut the BS and being back a live person answering the phone and directing calls? All this cost saving automated crap is just infuriating, which I’ve no doubt is at least in part, the point.

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DerpUrself69@reddit

I'm not "unable," but I am unwilling.

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NightEmber79@reddit

Probably the deaf ones.

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BeDeviledDevotchka@reddit

I absolutely can but prefer not to. Mostly because the quality of the calls has degraded so much. Anything that involves being on hold is auditory torture. The music is always shrill, loud, and slightly staticky. By the time I get to the person with the thick, almost indecipherable accent, I am ready to go on a rampage. It’s almost like the system was designed to keep people from getting their problems resolved.

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Helorugger@reddit

My issue is that most call centers are outsourced offshore and understanding the person on the other end can be next to impossible. I have travelled extensively and am used to communication barriers but this has gotten ridiculous.

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chefybpoodling@reddit

I use it every time someone comes to try sell us solar or whatever. I open the door, I say “I don’t talk to strangers” and I close the door.

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virtualadept@reddit

I hate talking on the phone. Once I didn't have to do it anymore I embraced it and didn't let go.

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_Silent_Android_@reddit

I'm unable to talk to telemarketers, scammers, etc.

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DeadBy2050@reddit (OP)

I say just one thing: "No thanks." And then I immediately hang up even if they are somehow in mid-sentence.

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PepGiraffe@reddit

The difference, I think, is that we were taught how to answer phones in a way that I don't think that Gen Z is. They may as well be the Silent Generation for as much as they understand phone etiquette.

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DeadBy2050@reddit (OP)

That may just be it. We were taught by people who grew up when having a phone was new and fancy. And our parents learned phone etiquette, which they instilled onto us. And then GenX and millennials took phones for granted like a utility, so they mostly just winged it and gave their kids little, if any, guidance on how to talk on the phone.

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mariecrystie@reddit

I can talk on the phone I just don’t like to. If there is any way I can handle business via email, text or website, that’s what I’m doing. I get annoyed when I have to resort to an actual phone call. I also do not like talking to relatives or friends on the phone. This does not align with my baby boomer relatives. I have an aunt who calls about everything. If I don’t answer, she’ll just keep trying. One time she had the nerve to text that it was an emergency and to call her back. I did and it was not an emergency. She just wanted to know something. I went off on her as I have two very sick parents and I’m on edge over that. I told her I’d block her if she did that shit again. Even a simple yes or no question, she calls. It drives me absolutely nuts.

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Ok_Researcher_9796@reddit

I don't like to but I'm able to once I actually do it.

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trailrider@reddit

Don't know any Xer's myself but I do agree there seems to be an aversion to actual phone calls from younger kids.

A few yrs ago, I watched a news clip where a 14 yr old came home from school and seemed to be a latchkey girl. As she opened the door, an attacker pushed her through and tried to assault her. By the sheerest of luck, she was able to fight him off and he ran out the door. She closed and locked it then TEXTED HER DAD TO COME QUICK BECAUSE SOMEONE TRIED TO FUCKING RAPE HER! I was literally slack-jawed and thought don't you think that would warrant an ACTUAL FUCKING PHONE CALL?!?!? I'd want my daughter to ring my phone off the hook and only text if I didn't answer in a situation like that.

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melty75@reddit

My job demands pretty decent customer service skills, so I'm completely cool with talking to strangers. I would even initiate a discussion with a stranger as opposed to awkward silence, even if they didn't want to hear about the weather. Unless they were obviously completely not wanting to chat.

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pretty-pleeb@reddit

r/introverts

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Single_Oven_819@reddit

I never had a problem with it, but my wife always did. She always made me call in food orders and make appointments.

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Thatstealthygal@reddit

I always hated talking to people on the phone BUT life threw me into jobs where I had to do it. So I learned how by doing. One day, I stopped being bothered by it. I still get the fritz of "eh I don't like it something might go wrong" before I call though.

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AirlineRegular1827@reddit

I'd put the call off for days trying to get the courage. I've always been bad that way.

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eman_on_1@reddit

I don’t know any personally, and I don’t have trouble talking on the phone. One of my jobs in high school was working to do telesurvery for car dealerships, so the phone has never been a problem. Most of the time I prefer to talk to a person because it usually gets messed up otherwise. Yep, I’m one of those that’s repeatedly yelling “speak to an operator” into automated lines!

Now, video calls I don’t do. I have that setting turned off on my phone because a friend called me on face time once, and I said “oh but no, I don’t do video calls!” It’s really hard for me to get through them on work calls, and my camera is off most of the time unless it’s one that I know they need to see my face. Always hated seeing myself in video. I get distracted with what I think I look like to others - especially if I forget to turn off the self view then realize it’s on half way through.

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Sufficient_Stop8381@reddit

I despise talking on the phone. Unfortunately I have to with my job.

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ClockSpiritual6596@reddit

Same

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Apprehensive-Log8333@reddit

Me too. I use a headset which helps a little. I write scripts beforehand. I guess I'm getting used to it, definitely beats an in person meeting

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kree-of-gamwich@reddit

I have no problem on the phone when its work related shit. Its everyday life calls I cant handle.

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GrumpyCatStevens@reddit

Ditto. I get a little annoyed sometimes when my mother calls me with something that could be handled by text...

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DrGoManGo@reddit

Not me, I'm the guy on the bus you don't want to sit next to.

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Kwyjibo68@reddit

I sat with a guy on a ride at WDW like that, earlier this year. I was behind him and his family in line and could see that they had met people in line and their daughters were already besties, etc. I was alone, so he and I were seated together, and right away he starts talking. He said he stood line for 80 minutes. I said I used a Lightning Lane. After the ride, he asked if it was worth it, and I said yes. I asked him if the 80 minutes was worth it. He’s said it was - now he and his family have new friends. Takes all kinds I guess, though truthfully, I would like more people like that in my life.

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Expensive-Bullfrog76@reddit

Bring it!

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Pedantic_Girl@reddit

I hate hate hate making phone calls. Even to friends. But I can do it if I need to. (Usually I outsource them to my husband, who hates making them a tiny bit less.) So if I need to make a doctors appointment I can - I just don’t want to. 😆

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OldBanjoFrog@reddit

They are people just like me.

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Rand_74@reddit

Yeah. I’ve never really heard of this. I’m not un-, empathetic, or un-sympathetic. I’m 51. I’ve had anxiety issues my whole life. I grit my teeth and get through life. I appreciate the “awareness” these days, and that it’s part of the conversation and narrative, but you just have to push through sometimes.

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Kwyjibo68@reddit

Well, yeah, that’s what people do. But if there’s some other contact option, that’s what I’m going with.

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Throwaway7219017@reddit

Yeah, agreed. As someone with a myriad of issues stemming from a neglectful upbringing, I simply feel that no one fucking cares. No one cares that I have low self esteem, anxiety, and ADHD issues. I just deal with it and get on with my day.

I don't make my issues anyone else's problem (besides my wife and my therapist).

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Rand_74@reddit

I just feel a lot of people use it as a crutch these days. The word trauma is thrown around so much, that it actually detracts from real trauma.

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Throwaway7219017@reddit

Yup. I have a friend who’s a vet from the GWOT. He has trauma. I have minor grievances against Mommy and Daddy.

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NotoldyetMaggot@reddit

Truth. It's like between Gen X and Z/millennials we have a whole different definition of trauma, and honestly we deal with it better.

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Kwyjibo68@reddit

As a teen I loved talking on the phone of course, but I’ve come to dislike it, especially if it’s someone I don’t know.

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GlitterDreamsicle@reddit

Yep. As a kid I loved talking on the phone. Not anymore.

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PikkiNarker@reddit

I’m capable but I hate it an avoid it at all costs. My GenZ daughter is the same way

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DrEnter@reddit

I never had an issue with this. Then, in the 90’s, I worked tier-3 technical support for HP. Helping programmers and graphics developers with HP’s 3D graphics libraries. 3 years of that, 25+ years ago, and now it’s very unpleasant for me to talk on the phone.

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mutable_type@reddit

I’m capable but it’s really hard and I procrastinate endlessly.

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PsychologicalBat1425@reddit

I have no issues with speaking on the phone. It was part of my job until zoom came along. (Frankly I prefer the telephone). At work if I am having a zoom or telephone call where I need to discuss several issues, I will write a brief checklist to be sure I don't miss anything.

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ImSMHattheWorld@reddit

I hate texting, I can see some positives about it but overall I hate it. That said I text almost exclusively because phone calls make my skin crawl. The best part? I was in phone sales for over 30 years.

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drum_nerd@reddit

I'm 48, turning 49 soon and I've noticed that I developed some sort of a stutter when I talk on the phone. As im trying to say a word, I go silent to the point a word can't come out and then it starts off as a stutter. Been happening since my late 30s/early 40s. No idea why

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Smokezz@reddit

Unable to? No. Do I prefer to use other means of communication? Absolutely.

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SuburbanBushwacker@reddit

nah we’re the ‘nothing happens until someone picks up the phone’ generation. my first cold calling job in 84. were so much more resilient than the next lot.

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kalcobalt@reddit

I (46) hate to talk on the phone, to anyone, including close family. I always found it a bit awkward, but once I hit adulthood it just became all but impossible.

I have to be in the right mood, rehearse, and trick myself into “I am my own personal assistant” mode to talk to strangers now. It is a serious pain and extremely problematic.

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Enough-Variety-8468@reddit

I can do it but I'd rather not.

For the past year or so I've been wondering "is it neurodiversity or is it just Gen X?"

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ScienceJamie76@reddit

Hello, telephobia!

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MegaManchego@reddit

I can do phone calls to strangers. But I will put it off because I would literally rather do anything else.

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TXHaunt@reddit

It’s not that I’m unable, it’s just difficult.

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0_IceQueen_0@reddit

I'm used to it. My phone has been ringing off the hook since high school throughout college (85 to 91). So much so that my father had to cut the line in my room. I had to go up on the ceiling crawlspace to reconnect my phone and hide it in a cabinet lol. Lots of "admirers". I even talked a guy out of his shell of anonymity when he just called to "listen" to my voice.

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AuroraDF@reddit

I absolutely hate having to make phone calls and will avoid to the point where it becomes imposible to continue life without doing it. Then I'll do it. I have to be forced into it.

Case in point - I habe a question I need to ask about my medical insurance. There is a number I can call. So far, I have emailed 6 different email addresses and none of them have been able to answer.

Last week, I had to call my household insurance because I wanted to change from a monthly payment to an annual payment, and to cancel automatic renewal. You'd think this would be an easy thing. Two simple instructions and one credit card number. No, I was on half an hour and had to explain why I wanted to change and justify cancelling the auto renewal. And that is one of the reasons I detest the phone calls. They make it as difficult as possible. Even when you're giving them money.

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BBCC_BR@reddit

This has more to do with Millenials

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affabledrunk@reddit

It seems growing up that snowflakes made less than 5% now it’s 95%. Everybody’s got issues up the ying yang

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vase-of-willows@reddit

I am no good on the phone

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Gloppydrop_@reddit

I don’t think I even sound like myself, no good at all

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Excellent_Budget9069@reddit

I do better when someone calls me. At work and otherwise. I just hate making cold phone calls. For personal phone calls I always worry I am going to interrupt them somehow and work calls I worry about flubbing up what I'm trying to say. I have ADHD and my brain operates faster than I can get words out of my mouth. I am so thankful for emails and texting.

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Gloppydrop_@reddit

If I had to call to order a pizza, we’d all starve

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jesus_chen@reddit

I can without issue but prefer text.

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Charming_Ad_6009@reddit

I (Gen X) Opened a late night restaurant on college campus, so ONLY students (Gen Z) first question was “is this here or to go?” It caused a complete shut down. So we just fixed everything to go. I thought it was adorable. Hey, I’m not judging, I couldn’t ever pass fractions and they made it into college.

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djferguson3@reddit

Hell I can’t even talk on the phone to people I know

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harley97797997@reddit

GenXers grew up when that was the only option and you had no idea who was on the other end of the phone.

Many GenXers choose not to talk to people when other means are available.

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Commisceo@reddit

I can not speak on the phone to anyone but family. Even then I hate being on the phone. My wife answers it for me usually. Social anxiety crap.

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FrostnJack@reddit

I hate phone calls but I grew up with that medium, much of my early adult work life requires phone use, so… sometimes we’re stuck with voice calls.

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geri73@reddit

I don't have a problem talking to strangers. The issue is being around them.

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DidelphisGinny@reddit

I’m GenX (64 yrs old) and started avoiding the phone in the late 90s. Relieves a little anxiety knowing so many others feel the same way

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justisme333@reddit

Back then, you did things because you HAD to. You forced yourself and found ways to make it possible, even if you really hated it or found it incredibly difficult.

These days, you get treated like a snowflake and are not taught resilience or any coping mechanisms whatsoever.

Its a different world, and kids are adaptable to their environment.

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AutomaticMonk@reddit

Not unable, unwilling.

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AdGold205@reddit

I hate talking on the phone, ordering online is more accurate, emails leave a “paper” trail for discussing any business dealings, texting clarifies communication and helps me reference times/dates/locations.

I am very charming and most people like talking to me. I have a friendly face, look approachable and I’m a bit diminutive so people think I’m up for a conversation. Spoiler alert. I am not. I can pretend to be whoever THEY think I am, but I really dislike verbal communication.

I talk to the humans I know and care about. Everyone else can text me.

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revcraigevil@reddit

I absolutely refuse to talk on the phone. I have my wife order food. Most things I use online customer service.

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ApplianceHealer@reddit

My wife doesn’t mind the occasional chat with friends, and is fine with business calls. Yet, the phone always gets passed to me if we’re ordering food.

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InternetBasic227@reddit

I hate ordering food by phone. There's always something gonna go wrong and I don't want to get blamed. My husband is a chef and he has very particular food requests - so he can do it. I hate when it's wrong and it has to be reconciled somehow. I just bring my own lunch whenever I can

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Standard_Important@reddit

I worked in a call centre and took 200-300 phone calls per day for a couple of years. Nowadays i do anything to not talk in a phone.

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Open_Bug_4251@reddit

I have a hard time not sounding bitchy on the phone. To combat this, I try to be very sweet then I come across as Mary Poppins-y.

So if I’m not in the mood to do that, then no I don’t make calls. But in general I have worse anxiety speaking to people in person.

And I’m very direct in text messages or chats. So if I’m in a chat box and a live agent comes up I probably come across as bitchy there too.

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InternetBasic227@reddit

I don't know why but I feel like to make doctor or dentist appointments or to have those kind of conversations - scheduling septic maintenance, or any "adult" utilitarian conversations- I am better if I am on a land line. I feel like if I gotta "get things done" - a corded landline is the way to go.

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Bubbly_Ad3880@reddit

Shit, I talk to scammers when they call. 15 or so minutes later tell them to not call back or try and call that number back to do a Jerky Boys on them.

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myprana@reddit

I can. But I absolutely dread it.

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Peeve1tuffboston@reddit

At 55, I prefer to text unless its going to be something I want to make sure is understood properly ...then I prefer the phone call so a person can at least hear my vocal inflection to properly discern my meaning... oftentimes in text, people can misconstrue your meaning...

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Tndnr82@reddit

I had a roommate who would buy food for 5 people if it meant he didn't have to call the order in.

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Rough_Condition75@reddit

I worked switchboard for one of my county departments in my 20s. Doesn’t bother me

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LuminalDjinn11@reddit

Leave a message after hours and have them return the call. Answer THAT message with another after hours message giving a time for a proper call. It’s the immediacy of the first call from them and the second, as we aren’t sure WHAT DO THEY WANTTTT!!!!?? Once we know what they want, a call is fine.

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Southernms@reddit

Gen Z cannot comprehend questions. I’ve asked where things are in the grocery store and all I get is a blank stare. They have no social skills. The next 50 years will be hellish. They don’t care and they don’t read bloody language or cues. No wonder they can’t get dates. They understand body language and flirting.

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who-waht@reddit

I was like that when I was younger. I got other people to make phone calls for me then.

Now, I don't gaf about what anyone thinks about me. Makes my life so much easier in so many ways.

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deephurting66@reddit

Nope, I will talk with whoever, whenever. Leave this social anxiety for the damn kids, bunch of over thinkers these days is why they are so messed up.

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grayhairedqueenbitch@reddit

I have phone anxiety, but I also used to work customer service jobs where I answered calls all day. It was making reservations, so it was low stress and actually fun. Once I get started, I'm fine. I prefer email though.

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GoldenPoncho812@reddit

gif

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Independent_Button61@reddit

I can… and will talk on the phone with strangers. I make a living from it.

But I hate it. Especially when I’m off the clock

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Perfect_Distance434@reddit

Although I do have to prepare for calls even with loved ones, I’ll put off a task that involves a stranger phone conversation for days, even weeks. The latter generally involves an exchange of information, and I’ll do ANYTHING to avoid having to spell out my street address and a series of account, DOB, etc numbers several times (just to make sure they have correctly recorded it!). Then you’re put on hold and you can’t really do anything else because what if you’re not paying attention and accidentally drop the call, then you risk enduring another round of a phone tree! Or, you ask about making an appointment and they just rattle off some random dates and act surprised you can’t immediately pick one without carefully consulting your calendars. Perhaps you’re trying to rectify an issue, and in addition to the tediousness of the call itself you’re stressing out about an answer that will frustrate you even more.

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ILoveUncommonSense@reddit

I dislike talking on the phone for the most part (I don’t remember it being a problem in my younger years - actually, remember when answering the phone was fun???), but I’ve had several customer service type jobs so I’ve just had to force myself to make and answer calls.

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Runner_Girl1026@reddit

I hate the phone in general but I certainly can talk on the phone to place orders, make appointments, etc.

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ket_the_wind@reddit

I despise speaking on the phone. 50yo

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Dsxm41780@reddit

I certainly prefer doing online ordering and filling out online forms but can certainly hold my own on the phone.

Granted I am one of those annoying people that makes political phone calls during election season so I have plenty of experience talking to strangers on the phone.

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RhodiumPlated@reddit

I’ve always hated talking on the phone, even to my own mother! 😂

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Flux_My_Capacitor@reddit

It’s very much a millennial thing, too.

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TheMposter@reddit

In high school I would have my younger brother make the calls for anything that needed to happen when our mom was at work. I was a mess in college the first few years trying to deal with painful and often crippling social anxiety. That’s when I got on antidepressants the first time which started helping greatly. Still setting up stuff for my first apt after graduation was rough.

It’s taken me decades to be comfortable talking on the phone but now I actually look at it as a personal challenge. How can I make the person on the other end of the phone have a better day after interacting with me?

Even when I have to call about bad service or issues I do my best to be polite and respectful cause I know now that having to deal with the public on the daily sucks. It was a long road to get here but it genuinely makes me feel good to get off of the phone knowing I did my best to brighten some CSRs’ day.

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NebulousStar@reddit

I (58 yrs) had very high anxiety about speaking to strangers on the phone as a kid. (Extending into my early 20s). It's something I gradually got over but it took a long time.

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Ok-Anxiety-5940@reddit

Yup, me. Before the internet, I would sometimes go as far as puking before having to make or receive a phone call. I have an anxiety disorder, like a lot of Gen-X. But Gen Z are an incredibly anxious generation - they ARE the "digital natives" after all. As Gen X I don't think we can understand what it's like to be a teenager online, where your every word, look and move is meticulously analysed, judged and mocked. As someone who has lived with a debilitating anxiety disorder since my teens, I can't even fathom the level of anxiety Gen Z's anxious kids must experience. And I don't even want to BEGIN thinking what Gen Alpha's gonna be like.

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opbmedia@reddit

I avoid the phone like the plague, but push come to shove I can work it. I rarely do it, maybe once a few months or so.

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Harvsnova3@reddit

I know never to ring my BIL or my friend. They just don't like talking on the phone with anyone. Both mid 50's. I just message them.

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elpollodiablox@reddit

Mostly I avoid it because I sometimes have a hard time articulating my thoughts. I'm not necessarily averse to it; I just have to pre-game it.

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pintofendlesssummer@reddit

I have to be in the right mood and then go for it. Then recite the conversation over in my head after the call and think I must have sounded really thick.

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SarcasticGirl27@reddit

My sister is Gen X (as am I) and she has always hated talking to strangers either in person or over the phone. Before online ordering, she used to have me do all of her ordering. She also used to send me on all of her errands that would require her to talk to people.

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guy_n_cognito_tu@reddit

This is your personal mental health issue, not a common GenX thing. It's not really a GenZ thing either.......it's just the really vocal ones that can't shut up on social media.

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DeadBy2050@reddit (OP)

Never said I had a problem with it. In fact, I worked in a field, where I made unsoliciated phone calls to strangers multiple times a day.

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Careless-Ability-748@reddit

I can function without it over 80% of the time.

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Condottiero_Magno@reddit

In fact, I worked in a field, where I made unsoliciated phone calls to strangers multiple times a day.

A telemarketerr? 🤬

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DeadBy2050@reddit (OP)

Holy fuck, no.

Investigations, background checks, and verifications.

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Condottiero_Magno@reddit

I assumed wrong, but it did seem like an indirect admission...😀

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kazoogrrl@reddit

Unsolicited/cold calls are the worst for me. I volunteered for a local political campaign and said I'd do anything but make calls. I stuffed a lot of envelopes and dropped off fliers in freezing cold weather.

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YeahRight1350@reddit

It used to be that calling someone on the phone was our only option. Now you have email and text. The phone requires a give and take that the other two methods don't. I never really thought about how important it is to learn that skill because, as a Gen X'er, I never had the option not to. But I do find myself going to text and email first before I pick up the phone now.

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Atomic_Gumbo@reddit

I can talk to strangers more easily than people I know. I keep myself guarded with those I know because I don’t want them to know too much. Talking with strangers is safer.

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Aggressive_Dot5426@reddit

I’m 60. Gen x. No problem with talking on the phone. lol. But I’d much rather text

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PostItN0t@reddit

I avoid speaking on the phone but don’t fully understand why. Causes problems at work

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originalsimulant@reddit

It’s maddening as a contractor that so many people nowadays want to do everything over text. It just drags the simplest processes on interminably and the want for correspondence is incessant. Most people are NOT great at coherently communicating their wants, requests, concerns, questions, observations, or thoughts through writing. They are especially Not great at communicating it through text (or email).

They ask waaaay too many questions that have multiples answers which each spawn their own multiples descending question branches. Whatever they’re wanting to communicate almost Never comes across clearly in the message they believe will communicate it.

Their subject-verb agreement is all over the place, they use incorrect terms and use terms incorrectly, they use ambiguous pronouns in the same message they use multiple proper nouns, they use what they believe to be synonyms but are actually antonyms…it’s just all so exhausting.

I can never just affirm that I understand what they’re saying because it’s so nebulous most of my replies are just seeking clarification on what it is they’re trying to say…and veeeery often I have to send multiple clarification replies for that. Nearly all of this can be resolved in a phone conversation lasting maybe 10 minutes at most.

I’ve gotten to where I just tell them to call me whenever they’re free to go over their message(s). Usually they will..usually.

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Careless-Ability-748@reddit

I've always hated it and I stopped as soon it was possible to do things online. I only call if there's no other option.

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Turdulator@reddit

I don’t like talking on the phone, but I also have no hesitation when it’s necessary. It seems so insanely fragile to be scared of such a simple and basic thing as “hello I want a large pepperoni pizza and a coke” or “hello I’d like to make an appointment”. Like what is the fear?

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HermioneMarch@reddit

I’m capable. But always hated it. I guess the new generation doesnt have to push themselves to do it because they have an alternative. We didn’t so we had to get over it.

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Continent3@reddit

I can talk on the phone, but don't want to. I get so many calls from numbers that I don't know that it's like scammer Russian roulette.

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TheYearOfThe_Rat@reddit

The strategy is to take the call but remain silent until spoken to. Autocallers usually drop the call, human spammers start asking irrelevant question. You can play elevator music or sounds of a car crash to them, as desired.

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anacluephone@reddit

I had to order all the takeout and delivery for my college friend group first year. If online or app orders had existed then, these friends never would have learned to deal with it and do it.

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PerceptionOk3196@reddit

I can, but I hate it. I avoid talking on the phone like the plague.

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upnytonc@reddit

I will do it if I HAVE to. But, I hate talking on the phone. Much rather do it online. I blame it on working in a call center for 5 plus years in my early 20s!

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ChrisKetcham1987@reddit

I hate the phone because, like many of my fellow Gen-Xers, I hate wasting time. Customer service phone calls are often a huge time suck, starting with the long waits or the multiple buttons just to speak to a live person.

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Glittering-Eye2856@reddit

Yes. I have to work up to a phone call. I put it off as long as I can. Then nap after.

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Nikadaemus@reddit

My GF finally broke through her debilitating social anxiety

Took lots of psilo and energy work, plus a good guide

It's extremely common in newer gens, but rarely seen in GenX imho

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Intelligent_Story443@reddit

It's an introvert combined with ADHD for me. I can, but I get nauseous at the thought of it.

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Dr_Overundereducated@reddit

I suffered severe phone anxiety for most of my adult life. It was brought about by being an introvert and started when I went through a time of significant financial difficulties during my late 20s and was constantly hounded by bill collectors. It only started to get better in my 40s when I reached a level of financial security and has eased as technology has allowed for more contact free experiences. I no longer expect that every phone interaction will be a confrontation, but if I can do my business online, it’s even better.

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Fit-Dark-4062@reddit

not unable to, but I started my tech career in public facing callcenters supporting DSL and cablemodems. I've been called every name there is and even a few new ones.
The less I have to talk on the phone these days the better

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JoWhee@reddit

I will avoid talking on the phone when at all possible.

I’m better if I initiate the call. My reason (justification?) is because I used to work in a dispatch centre, and later on call. Any time the phone would ring it was always because something had gone wrong or broken. No one ever called to say hi.

It’s been years since and I will have the “squick “ occasionally when my phone rings.

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McGrufNStuf@reddit

Talk on the phone with strangers? I don’t even like talking on my the phone with family or friends.

I’ve had tinnitus since I was a kid. Lifetime of heavy metal concerts and stint in the military did not help that so it’s incredibly difficult for me to always hear the other person. Just would rather get a text at this point. Save phone calls for emergencies.

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Fantastic_Stop487@reddit

I don’t like ordering food over the phone not sure why, but I’ll call a warranty company or strangers that doesn’t bother me. I also don’t mind eating, traveling, movies, shopping or doing anything alone.

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theghostofcslewis@reddit

No, call me if you want. When I’m done with telemarketers, they leave for better jobs or demand better conditions.

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Full-Boat-175@reddit

I can't hear on a phone. I am just constantly asking people to repeat themself and find it highly frustrating. Please just text

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Late_Football_2517@reddit

I think it has a lot to do with small talk. I hate small talk. I want to ask my questions/solve the problem /be given instructions on a phone call. I do not have the patience to listen about your vacation plans, or kid troubles, or whatever story you have. I am able to talk with strangers easily within the parameters of the subject of the call. Anything outside of that, I am actively trying to get off the phone and on with my day. I got shit to do.

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giraffe-zackeffron@reddit

I will go to great lengths to avoid phone conversations with anyone. Friends, family, strangers, work related calls, anything. It never bothered me and as a young guy, I loved talking on the phone. But for about the last 10-15 years, I just hate talking on the phone.

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combabulated@reddit

So little interpersonal experience doesn’t bode well.

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WeirdRip2834@reddit

I have always hated the telephone. I consider that I am like my grandmother who also hated the telephone. I prefer in person or written communications. Telephone isn’t natural. I only speak to trusted people. I can’t be the only one.

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WeirdRip2834@reddit

Grandmother alive from 1913-1996. Not raised with a phone.

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Alternative-Law4626@reddit

Can’t? No. Choose not to if there are other options, yes. My wife dislikes it less than me, so she gets the job usually. If I need to, I’ll do it.

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Tiny-Street8765@reddit

Yes. It's called autism ! Lol.

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bethanyd0901@reddit

I had to change majors from journalism to accounting because it took me 30 minutes to have the nerve to call and talk to someone.

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BKBiscuit@reddit

I dont talk on the phone with, anyone.

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hlmoore96@reddit

I have generalized anxiety, but I’m lucky. I could talk on the phone to anyone at anytime. I know I’m speaking to the choir, but I spent HOURS on the phone as a teenager. I guess it helped me.

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tgrantt@reddit

Pro tip: it's easier to do for someone else. Make the calls for your friend, have them do it for you.

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BIGepidural@reddit

Yes. My sons father couldn't order pizza or talk to people who weren't friends on the phone or even otherwise. He would just shut right down and say nothing because he was too overwhelmed.

The reason- anxiety. Severe anxiety of sounding stupid and that fear of judgement stop people from trying to do things for themselves.

The answer- let them fail. If they can't order pizza then they don't get any. If the can't call to make an appointment then they don't get one. If they can't call to ask something then they're left in the dark.

Don't do it for them FFS! 😡

So many people breaking to "help" their kids that they're actually harming them in the process.

Fuck it. Sink or swim. They have to figure it out or get fucked over a few times because they couldn't. Thats how we fucking learn.

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After-Start2357@reddit

Phone is my preference. So much more efficient.

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hawkm69@reddit

I only get anxiety on the phone in a work setting. I can't do call center type stuff. I'm a social worker and our state decided that all workers had to do food stamp interviews. This didn't work out for me. I ended up getting another job outside of the business. It turns out I was better suited to run the front window talking to the clients and that's where they put me when they asked me to come back. No phone interviews anymore, I'm happy, they're happy and I get to retire full pension.

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heldaway@reddit

For some reason, every time I’m on a phone call, I speak at the wrong time and interrupt. I’m so awkward!

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Randall_Hickey@reddit

This is me 😂

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Traditional_Fan_2655@reddit

Um no. I can talk in the phone, in person, or across the internet. I can talk. A little too much

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johntwilker@reddit

I do everything in my power to avoid speaking on the phone.

I will if needed for sure, but it’s last resort

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pizzaunknown@reddit

I’m able to but I hate having to do so.

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Mark47n@reddit

I have no problem speaking on the phone. Ordering food, dealing with customer service or other tasks, hassling solicitors or scammers…no problem.

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NotoldyetMaggot@reddit

I was when I was in my early 20s, but I had to grow the fuck up and learn how to talk to people. I hated it, but I was a grown ass married woman (and my husband hated talking on the phone more than me) you just have to learn what works for you, and then do it. Make notes of what you want to say and questions to ask. I still make notes today just to have answers to crazy questions/it goes sideways. The TLDR is, learn to plan, and it gets easier I promise!

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Edith_Keelers_Shoes@reddit

Yes, and I believe it is an issue that stems from being neurodivergent. My daughter has the same issue but more acutely, and she is autistic. I am definitely on the spectrum, but there was no spectrum for most of my life so I just chalked it up to an eccentricity.

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Cross_22@reddit

I can have phone conversations if I must, but I hate it. As I told somebody else recently, it's a toss up between getting a root canal and calling strangers. Video calls are a little bit better.

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kree-of-gamwich@reddit

I used to write a conversation about what I wanted to say during a phone call. Now I communicate via email or text

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vabello@reddit

I’m almost 48. I do as much as possible via email and text. I hate phone calls unless it’s with family. I also like paper trails because I can’t remember everything in a conversation and like to gather my thoughts and put it in writing rather than say the wrong thing.

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RolandOfGilead@reddit

I can, but I try everything to not have to. I'm a bit better than I used to be, but there have been times when I have switched companies or refused to do business with an agency that only had a phone contact on their website and not an email or chat.

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ErinRedWolf@reddit

So, I CAN make a phone call to conduct business, but I highly prefer NOT to. If there’s a way to do it online or via text instead, I’m 100% doing it that way. And I don’t have as hard a time in person for some reason.

I think it might be because I’m not quick on my feet. If the interaction goes “off script” and I’m asked a question I’m not expecting, I need a moment to think before I answer. And with no visual cues, the person on the other end sometimes gets impatient and keeps talking or asks another question, and I get more and more flustered.

I don’t even like talking to friends and family on the phone, for similar reasons. I don’t like to pick up the phone because I’m usually in the middle of something. And I don’t like calling because it feels intrusive… they’re probably in the middle of something. 😅 And again, I need to think before I speak, which is much easier with in-person interactions because there are visual cues and body language to assist.

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KayBear2@reddit

It’s awkward for me, I have to mentally prep myself, but then I can do it. I used to be great on the phone, but people seem more unpredictable now and many/most seem manipulative on the phone, so it’s difficult.

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kg4cna@reddit

Not a problem for me. I've been talking to strangers on the phone since I was 18 yrs old (58 now). Still do it as my job requires it.

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your_city_councilor@reddit

Ugh. I'm so tired of being directed to the website or the app or their stupid "press this number for this, that number for that." It's so much easier to do human things like talk to a fucking human. I despise the new culture of avoiding other humans as much as possible.

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Life_Smartly@reddit

Lot of different & better ways now than being on a call thankfully. It's not about being unable, as much as it's no longer forced on them.

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North-Neat-7977@reddit

I'm Gen x and I am able to talk on the phone when I need to. However, I find talking on the phone stressful in a way that I didn't when I was younger. I think this is basically because I am out of practice. Talking on the phone is just not as common anymore.

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CynicalOne_313@reddit

I wouldn't say completely unable. It depends. Like I've gotten comfortable with scheduling appointments and mentally reassuring myself the entire time while I'm on the phone.

I also have severe anxiety thanks to a lifetime of trauma and horrible retail jobs/unsympathetic management. I have to make phone calls due to parts of my job, and even though I make a script and rehearse before/try to pysch myself up, I'm terrified because of the person's perceived response.

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User-1967@reddit

Gen Xers are able to, they just don’t want to

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drinkslinger1974@reddit

I was told it called phone anxiety. I have it bad. I can’t even call to order food, it just freaks me out.

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Cat_Kn1t_Repeat@reddit

Unable? No. Unwilling? Mostly.

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OMGpawned@reddit

I'm in my mid-40s and I don't like talking on my phone if what I need to do can be done online I'd much rather do it that way. Also I hate being on hold for like 15-20 minutes like I have been in the past so doing it online at my Pace works for me better.

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Gavagirl23@reddit

I've lost a lot of that ability and I'm trying to regain it. Any possibility of disagreement or conflict freaks me out now, but it didn't used to. I actually used to be pretty good at handling delicate interactions. Life online makes it too easy to be avoidant and I think the younguns are just not developing the skills needed to deal with people as you find them, warts and all.

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BrainSqueezins@reddit

“Incapable” is not the same as “will avoid it whenever there is any alternative”

If you can do it online they’ll do that even if more inconvenient. Even if it were reduced to a situation of “call or not at all”—if “not at all” is an option, then they may take that.

I’ll do that sometimes myself. “Oh, I have to call? Nah, nevermind.”. Doesn’t mean I’m incapable. Others might look at it and say “dang, dude couldn’t even call” but I could and chose not to.

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Super_Fishing9564@reddit

I am this person

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TheSwedishEagle@reddit

No problems talking on the phone but I have always hated ordering pizza and others must, too, because we used to argue about who the stuckee would be. I am glad to be able to order online now.

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dani_-_142@reddit

I’ve always disliked phone calls, but I’ve had to make so many, I got used to it. At this point, it feels like a superpower, because I’m way more comfortable with cold calls than my younger coworkers.

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QuarrieMcQuarrie@reddit

Husband and I both GenX- we both have to psych ourselves up for phone calls. Especially to my mother 😅

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Oh-My-TVC-One-Five@reddit

Unable to talk to strangers? Absolutely not! Spent my teen years prank calling through the entire phone book.

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cakeswindler@reddit

I will never ever answer a Facetime call. It literally feels like a disrespect of my boundaries. And I hate doing voice calls to doctor offices, customer service etc. I’ll do it but I need to be in the right mindset. I’m proudly introverted with some anxiety so it’s more that than being GenX.

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Glad_Nobody6992@reddit

My ex absolutely hates making phone calls but has subsequently been diagnosed somewhere on the spectrum. It was a relief for him to learn there was a reason for that and other struggles he’d had all his life.

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626337@reddit

I hate doing phone calls in my personal life but I can suck it up and put on my best Judy the TimeLife Operator persona when it comes to work calls.

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AntiPepRally@reddit

A phonecall still feels normal to me

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ancientastronaut2@reddit

Even my kids do. I am often pleasantly surprised. My younger adult kid is disabled due to chronic health issues, and while I am often attempted to jump in, she actually does just fine handling all her constant doctor and insurance calls, even though it's frustrating and stressful.

My oldest has always worked hospitality jobs, so she's ok with it as well.

(And we're all on the spectrum as well, but are able to mask)

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xboxwidow@reddit

I mean, I can, I just don’t want to…

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VampiricClam@reddit

Unable or unwilling?

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Charming_Butterfly90@reddit

I made my mom make all of my appts until I was well into adulthood and if I can’t do it online now, I have to psych myself up to do it. Unless I am pissed and need to call to right a wrong against me, then I have no issue. Lol. I guess it’s the adrenaline that makes me feel okay about making the call, not sure. 🤔

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Other-Opposite-6222@reddit

On my 16th birthday, my mother made me call great American cookie to tell them we would be 2 hours later to pick up my cookie. I cried because I was so introverted. From then on, she would make me make all call- Dr, hours, all that shit we now google. She was never mean just firm. She’s a good mom.

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phxflurry@reddit

I do it at work, I refuse in my off hours. Hell, I don't want to talk to people I do know.

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Bird_Watcher1234@reddit

I get ridiculous anxiety when I have to make a phone call. It’s minor for family or friends, but I have close to panic attack levels of anxiety when I have to make a phone call to a stranger. My husband will handle most for me, but occasionally I have to suck it up and call. I hate it. I can’t see who I’m talking to so I can’t get the lip reading and facial expression clues, I can’t make eye contact to know if they are being honest or paying attention, the phone connection is rarely ever clear and usually some background noise making it tough to hear.

I do have bipolar disorder, diagnosed 3 years ago.

Growing up my parents had their own business and I was very often asked or told to answer the phone, tell them my parents were with a costumer and take a message. It was lying 90% of the time, they just didn’t feel like dealing with it. I was 8 when that started and I believe this caused a lot of my phone dread, plus the other issues I listed above.

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SwimmingPrize544@reddit

I can do all of it, but if I have to spend 45 minutes to resolve something, sometimes it’s just easier to do a chat or send an email.

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plainolt@reddit

Nope, and I find it bizarre that my kids (20 yo) can't do it

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treetopalarmist_1@reddit

Nope

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trafdlo@reddit

For me it's not a GenX thing, it's an AuDHD thing. I'll happily answer the phone and talk to people but getting me to make a call is not easy.

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Specific_Ad_97@reddit

I had an event manager who was 20 years younger than me. She was brilliant with social networking & marketing. In the first month I worked with her, I left her endless voicemsils, she never answered her phone. So, I'd have to send her a long text. Her response was always, K. It drove me crazy. But once the money started rolling in and the guests were beyond satisfied with our events. I just let her do her thing.

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jamezverusaum@reddit

I had the hardest time doing that until I worked as a CPhT. Phone calls all the time. So I still can, but I prefer texting.

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Minirth22@reddit

No, I’m not unable, but I kind of hate it in a way I don’t understand. I’d rather spend half an hour on chat with a customer service person than make a phone call. The phone makes me mildly anxious and annoyed now but I have no idea why.

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swigs77@reddit

I am like that. I can talk but try to avoid it at all costs. I'm married now so my wife is the one who handles those things. I get upset when we get fast food and she asks for dipping sauce for her fries. I can't usually order that through the app so I have to ask at the window. When I was younger, I remember not liking to talk to people but could manage if needed. I think today's tech has made it worse since there is another option.

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Whovian73@reddit

Most of my jobs have involved making or taking phone calls. I have no problem talking to strangers over the phone.

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PiratesTale@reddit

Former call center worker. Phones suck.

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seamus_thepanda@reddit

I’ve always hated calling people, but I can do it

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Sil_Lavellan@reddit

I hate calling random people, or anyone who isn't my parents or brother. I might be calling them away from something important. But it's kind of a skill you have to have in this world, so I grumble and bear it.

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onedef1@reddit

I've been deaf since I was 5. I hate when these kinds of situations come up. I'm entirely dependent on someone else calling for me if there isn't another option to make contact. If gets even harder as we get older (53) and my options for onsite assistance become less. Call Relay can be handy but usually is a chore that can drag out a 15 min normal convo into 3 hours assuming they even accept the call. It's a pain in the ass.

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Few-Pineapple-5632@reddit

No but I get why they might not want to. Since before they were born, customer service has been provided by Indian call center workers whom you can’t understand. You can’t even get to a receptionist at a physician office without going through 10 levels of voice response.

I have perfectly acceptable phone skills but even U get frustrated, angry even, with what passes for customer service on the phone. I prefer websites, chat and apps by a mile.

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Pigeonofthesea8@reddit

Oh for that sort of thing. Yeah it’s annoying.

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Pigeonofthesea8@reddit

No, that’s weird

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Greyraver2k9@reddit

Able? Sure. Willing? Nah.

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QuiJon70@reddit

Say you are a gen z hiding on a gen x reddit without saying you're a gen z hiding on a gen x reddit.

Sorry this just stinks of a gen z or gen a trying to get gen x to admit that we have their mental deficiencies so they can point the finger and have an excuse to continue their worthless lazy ways.

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ShamrockShakey@reddit

Best thing I ever did was take drama in HS. Had a few friends who did the same and it helped get thru so many situations where they could "play the part" of the confident business person or whatever. Also, for phone work, I would always write a script to get me started.

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SXTY82@reddit

I never understood the anxiety around talking with on the phone. One of the coming of age moments in a lot of my friends and I lives was getting out first phone number. GenX late 50s dude. In the early 2000s when everyone started to learn how to text was weird to me. Why text for 20 min when a 3 min phone call would sort it out?

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Immediate_Mud_2858@reddit

I can talk the hind leg off a donkey, so love chatting to strangers.

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Concentrate-Upper@reddit

My problem isn’t speaking on the phone ( it’s not my favorite, but I’ll do it). My problem lies in when I have to make calls where I absolutely need to speak to a live person, but I have to spend 10 minutes dealing with an automated system only to be put on eternal hold because I HAVE to speak to a live person. I LOSE my rabid mind over that, and will most likely hang up the call and try at some odd ball time when I might get a human on the first try

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Raynet11@reddit

Can and don't want to are two very different things......

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OreoSpeedwaggon@reddit

I have zero hesitation to pick up the phone and speak with a stranger to ask a question, make a request, or anything else. However, if there are alternate ways to do those things that are more efficient, such as going online, I'll do that first.

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SignalWorking7126@reddit

As a kid long distance calls were expensive and a big deal at my house. I HATED Christmas Day when we would have to sit on opposite ends of the house and talk on our two phones to relatives all over the country. I never knew what to say and it was super awkward. I think this has contributed somehow to our phone anxiety. 🤣

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orthros@reddit

I hate doing everything on text/Discord so yeah I’m the old man who actually wants to talk to you. Ideally (gasp) face to face.

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External_Side_7063@reddit

Yes, because every stranger on the phone wants something from you these days

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Disastrous_Cat3912@reddit

Hell no, I will call anybody, anywhere, anytime. I even handle making phonecalls for other people in my family.

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Thebadmamajama@reddit

I've not run into a genX that can't at least make a basic call. genZ loathes getting on a voice call - like anxiety inducing hatred.

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Concentrate-Upper@reddit

I really have no issues talking on the phone as I have occasion to make appointments for various things on a weekly basis. But companies, doctors’ offices etc should REALLY consider whether or not the employee that they’ve hired in a customer/client support role can be completely understood on the phone. Now I understand that there are many different languages and accents and this world, (and this has nothing to do with where you’re from or what language/s you speak) but it is SO completely stressful to speak to someone on the phone in a customer service role that you can’t understand.

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Little_Blue_Fly@reddit

i'd volunteer to pay for the pizza if someone else made the call and answered the door!

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Jasonstackhouse111@reddit

I don't have problems with talking on the phone, but I certainly understand that some would. Personally, I find conversations a terrible inconvenience and much, much prefer texting or emails as then I can deal with things as I want to and not have my life interrupted by a phone call.

The only people I really want to talk on to now are my daughters, and we facetime a few times week - that's perfect. Everyone else can text/email and I'm great with that.

As for things like making an appointment for a car service or haircut or whatever, YES YES to any business that has an online booking system. I HATE the back and forth of "well, what about Tuesday, etc etc." Just make an online system and all good.

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Some-Library-4073@reddit

Not me.

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mostlygray@reddit

I've never heard of a GenXr being truly afraid of making a call. I don't like making phone calls, but I do it.

However, GenX took to texting like a fish to water. I've got friends that never call or answer their phone any more. It's text only. It's maddening. I don't want to chit-chat via text. If you want to talk, call. I hate the 3 stupid dots and waiting to see if they're actually typing something or if they've wandered off.

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Oldebookworm@reddit

No, I just don’t like to do it. If most meetings can/should be emails, most phone calls can/should be texts.

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Bixiebee23@reddit

I loathe talking on the phone as it is an absolute waste of time and so slow. Every genx and older I have hired always wants to speak to me on the phone and I have to train them to text instead.

I don't think the younger gens get panic attacks like us olds like to claim. I think they just realize calling to make an appointment or order something is a huge waste of time and just plain stupid nowadays.

If I have to call someone to make an appointment I will take my business elsewhere.

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Independent-Dark-955@reddit

I can do it, but I will avoid doing it if at all possible. I’m more than happy to navigate website and fill in online forms. I hate calling anyone randomly (other than my husband).

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BigFitMama@reddit

Just remember while we had positive experiences on the landline phone we also had most of our negative experiences on the phone before email took off.

Bad news. Death. Debt collectors. Unpredictable calls from scary people coming to use inside our house.

And most of all phone calls you can't control the narrative. You can't correct yourself. You are wherever you are is exposed.

And we grew up and had our 20s where you could just not be where a phone could call you. Outside. Hiking. At a festival. No one interrupted the moment we were having with friends or with nature. We could just be anywhere and no one knew.

So when we are in a solo groove - just enjoying a movie or in the flow on a work project or doing a chore or crafting or cooking - we don't want to talk to anyone.

Or before 7am or after 8pm. Unless it's friends asking us out or an emergency that's a no no. Don't call me.

Or about work. There's nothing you can't tell me about work I can't hear in a text. I'm not picking up a call from someone who wants me to work off hours with very few exceptions. You want a file? Text me.

My general rule - text me if it's a crisis. Or leave a voicemail to call you back. On my phone I see a transcript. I know who you are. I will judge your emergency.

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x650r@reddit

Remember when you had to answer the phone without knowing who was calling. ?

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DetroitsGoingToWin@reddit

Unfortunately the older you get, the more this stuff is unavoidable, my elder family members kill a lot of there day, lining up metal appointments and medication.

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excaligirltoo@reddit

I hate phone calls but I can certainly make phone calls, stranger or not. Actually I would probably rather talk on the phone with a stranger over someone that I know.

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frostedpuzzle@reddit

I don’t like talking on the phone because of scammers.

I don’t like talking to businesses because nothing is in writing.

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nun-yah@reddit

I don't like talking on the phone with anyone.

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Grow_money@reddit

Unable? Huh?

We just don’t like talking to strangers.

Especially ones that ask dumb questions.

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Iittletart@reddit

Different generations different skills and experiences.

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Efficient-Career-829@reddit

I’ve hated doing it, but I can. Usually I do them in groups when I need to - get them all done at the same time. I’ve noticed the inability in my college interns (one got himself in trouble with a manager for refusing), so I’ve started forcing them to make some easy calls during their time with us. Some of them are truly frightened by it.

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DeadBy2050@reddit (OP)

The latest back of new hires I had to train were all around 30 years old. What struck me was how much they seemed to avoid phone calls whenever possible.

The problem was that their core duties required obtaining, supplementing, and verifying detailed information on projects that typically lasted about 4 or 5 weeks. They would email a question, get a response a few days later; then they'd send a follow up email to get clarification of the reply they just received. So it often took, them weeks to get the information needed.

I kept on explaining that all they had to do was make a call and engage in a 10 minute phone call to get the information immediately. They'd nod in agreement and figured, cool, no more delays.

But they'd go back to using email communications again on time-sensitive issues. It got so bad that I literally had to ask them each time specificially whether they made phone call attempts first. In the end, I simply instituted a rule that they documented that they made initial attempts by phone to obtain the information.

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sokali4nia@reddit

If losing weeks of productivity that can be easily avoided, I would have been stricter. More like a phone call must be attempted twice a day (at different times) for at least 2 days and only supplemented by an email. If not getting the response, then it escalates. I wouldn't put up with being delayed that long.

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Efficient-Career-829@reddit

Yeah we found that we had to specifically state they needed to do initial contact by phone call. Otherwise same thing happened, weeks of back and forth emails (and in the case above, text messages).

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Independent-Owl-8659@reddit

I can communicate with people over the phone. Should have your GenX card pulled if you can’t.

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STGItsMe@reddit

Able to. Unwilling to.

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Accidental-Aspic2179@reddit

I hate talking on the phone to someone I dont know. It gives me anxiety and anxiety makes me stutter and fumble my words and I end up sounding like an idiot. Anyone who knows me knows not to call me. Text me. I dont even want to talk on the phone when it's absolutely necessary.

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yardkat1971@reddit

I can make those calls. It's the other ones. The long ones to family. It's too much time and they get mad that I'm putting my dishes and laundry away while we talk.

Also hard pass on video calls. I don't get people walking around the grocery store facetiming. PEOPLE. I AM RIGHT HERE NEXT TO YOU PICKING OUT SOAP. I CAN HEAR YOU. "Well and then she got cancer and her husband left her." "I tried talking to the soccer coach and I just don't know why he's not playing."

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yarnhooksbooks@reddit

Can I? Technically, yes. I’ve even worked jobs where talking on the phone was a big part of my responsibilities. But will I avoid it if I can? You betcha. If I can do it through email or text or an app or pretty much anything that avoids talking on the phone I will.

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middlebird@reddit

I’m tired of the phone.

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Martian_Manhumper@reddit

I don't really do well with any form of conversation. I babble at speed trying to get through the convo as fast as possible but making me speak to somebody I can't see to judge their expressions is like asking me to perform brain surgery, blindfolded, underwater. I recently had a call with a government official and panicked so badly I near pooped myself. There again, I sit and stare at text messages for an age before I can find the wherewithal to reply. Give me dogs and I'm fine, I know where I am with dogs. Just not people with their chaos and random personal inquiries.

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oldfarmjoy@reddit

I'm very comfortable talking on the phone to accomplish tasks. I've had many jobs that included phone work, so that's not an issue.

However, when my phone rings, I recoil and often don't answer. It feels invasive now. Send a frickin' text! If i'm not answering texts and it's urgent, you can call. You can send a text that says - hey, can you chat? Or call me, or when can we talk. I don't like cold calls.

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CallingDrDingle@reddit

I'm an only child and grandchild. I've never had a problem talking to anyone anywhere, I'm still like that.

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Severe-Rise5591@reddit

I preferred phones when the conversation was 'full-duplex' on a landline, allowing both talking and listening simultaneously.

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Dense_Call_5966@reddit

Huh, I never thought of that! It is a HUGE loss to not be able to hear the other person while talking. We miss out on the subverbal cues that aid understanding!!! Very insightful.

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travelinmatt76@reddit

I hate talking to anybody in general. If the app has a live chat option I'm using it. Same with ordering food at a drive thru, I'll use the app. And self checkout at the store.

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OolongGeer@reddit

I don't think it's that they're unable. I think it is because they can do it quicker via text/apps.

Allows for multitasking too.

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Wonderful-Power9161@reddit

Of course not. We're GenX. We grew up using the phone. That was attached to a wall. With a CORD. Some of us even had party lines where other people could listen in.

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gnortsmracr@reddit

Not unable, but don’t really care for it.

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over_kill71@reddit

I hate talking on the phone but capable when I have to be.

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Pretty-Biscotti-5256@reddit

It’s not that I can’t, it’s just that I don’t want to anymore. It’s time consuming. I’d rather send an email or text and deal and react to it after I’ve had a moment to process. Like most people our age, I have a lot going on and I need to compartmentalize and organize my tasks. Also, email is a nice record of things.

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mhiaa173@reddit

I hate talking on the phone! If someone calls me, I'm good, but I hate making the actual call, even if it's someone I like talking to. It's weird, I know.

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AbjectBeat837@reddit

I attempted to have a phone conversation with my Gen Z son the other night. I asked him if he wants food.

“Hello? Hello? I can’t hear anything”

My husband said he was holding the phone to his cheek, not up to his ear. I guess we need to give him a lesson about talking on a phone like a human being.

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CheetahNo9349@reddit

I am able to make calls to strangers. If I can avoid it i do, though. Less about anxiety of doing so more about frustration with dealing with stupid people.

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GalianoGirl@reddit

I would rather talk on the phone than text.

I had no issues growing up making calls.

I completely lost all respect for a man who was 10 years older than me and could not call a travel agent to book a flight. This was the 1980’s, he was a boomer born in the mid 1950’s

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OkIncrease6030@reddit

I hate making those kinds of calls and have even occasionally messed something up because I’ve procrastinated on making an awkward phone call. That said, I can do it and I do it pretty often. I’m sure I’d have been like the avoidant Zeds if I’d had the opportunity, but it wasn’t an option.

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DrEyeBender@reddit

This is atypical for GenX. As you stated, it's more of a GenZ thing. It's usually more of a point of pride that a GenXer can call to order a pizza while GenZ is scared to do it.

Everyone's different, not invalidating your preference, but it's not a generation thing (for us).

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Extension-Elk-1274@reddit

I never had a problem talking on the phone, I just don't like to. Especially after 50, then again, I don't really want to talk to people in person either.

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AnitaPeaDance@reddit

Unable? Not per say, but I will do everything I can to avoid it. . . even people I know.

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__melissa_@reddit

The sound of my phone ringing gives me anxiety. I don’t know why but talking on the phone is not something I can do easily. If I can do it online I will and if I can’t I gotta psyche myself up to make the call. It’s annoying and most people don’t understand. I don’t understand it myself because I wasn’t always like this.

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Swifty-Dog@reddit

Yes. I’m fine with FaceTime. I’m weirdly okay if I put my phone on speaker.

But generally I tell people there are at least a dozen ways to contact me on my phone that do not involve calling me. Use one of those.

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LitPixel@reddit

I remember watching a YouTube investigative article about something. And the only thing that struck me was “this was all the information I could find”. Yeah but you could just you know call them and ask. He had like so many possible contacts. What a wuss.

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WideRight43@reddit

Yup. I can’t do those things anymore. Started a decade ago.

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Infamous_Towel_5251@reddit

My little sister, who is 8 years younger and not Gen X, got coddled by our parents in a way that I did not. As a result, she was a young adult who could not talk on the phone to strangers and who wouldn't even buy her own items at the store because that involved interacting with the cashier.

She eventually got over it when people stopped assisting her and she was forced to independently adult or go without.

For example, to place a food order or to fix something through customer service.

Frankly, I use online customer service as much as possible. Not because I can't talk to people, but because everything has been offshored and some of these accents are so thick I can't understand them anymore than they can understand me. I would prefer talking to a person, but here we are.

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puppetcigarette@reddit

"She eventually got over it when people stopped assisting her and she was forced to independently adult or go without." THIS all day. But you'll still have a lot of really loud people advocate for coddling adolescents/young adults when the healthy answer is they just have to tolerate discomfort and learn to do it. That doesn't seem to be the mentality with anything anymore though. If something makes someone even slightly uncomfortable, the first one hundred "solutions" to the problem is to figure out how to just avoid doing it. Ugh.

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Testy_Coyote_@reddit

I know how to do it and will do it but I hate it so much. I'll use an online option if available.

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TwistedMemories@reddit

Well I work CS for a inbound call center, so I talk to people on the phones all day. I really hate having to place calls after I’m off work.

I do because sometimes I need to speak to someone concerning a doctor’s appointment or call my bank because of an issue at times.

I had to call my bank one time when I was on vacation and placing multiple orders on Amazon. There was a payment that got declined because of some glitches.

Any food order is through an app because it’s so much easier to do that.

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JoeGMartino@reddit

I can do it but it takes some mental fortitude. It is very uncomfortable for me to make a phone call. I'd rather text or email. I can't even explain it. It's like my throat is closing. Interesting to see that other people deal with a similar issue.

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BloodyBarbieBrains@reddit

Yes, we can talk on the phone with strangers to complete necessary life tasks—and we can also do so via written communication, be it email, text, letters, etc.

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RandomCoffeeThoughts@reddit

I work in a call center. I am a pro at taking and making calls in my work life. In my personal life I have zero problems doing the same, but if there is an option that is more convenient, I will absolutely take that route.

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Defiant_Trifle1122@reddit

My son has serious problems with this. I always attributed to him having autism and difficulties with social pragmatics but it's interesting to see that it seems to be wide spread in Gen Z. Personally, I hate phone calls but it's not like I can't do it. I just don't like it.

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JanaT2@reddit

They just aren't used to it. We didn't have anything else.

That being said, I hate making phone calls lol

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TealTemptress@reddit

I can talk, it’s my hearing that’s going. So occasionally I’ll sit in my Honda Pilot Trailsport and do my calls over Carplay. I can turn up the volume on the speakers, sit in a parking lot, clean my glasses, write notes. It works for me.

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aynchint_ayleein@reddit

Hated doing phone in my younger days, but then my DNA woke up and said idgaf. So, not anymore. Not in a long time.

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puppetcigarette@reddit

I don't mind it. It's not pleasant but I just do it. It's not that big of a deal to me. We seem to have a young generation who can't do the most basic shit and it's jarring.

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NoContribution7711@reddit

Gen X phones my work. Bellows order, Gets the job done.

Millennials phones my work. Orders what they need and in general no probs at all.

Gen Z phones, can't string together a sentence, forgets what they want or expects me to look into my crystal ball to work out what they need.

Fact

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Dense_Call_5966@reddit

I talked on the phone all the time in the 80s and 90s. I didn’t have anxiety or have a hard time calling anyone. In the mid oughts, I started having trouble, and within a decade it became very hard for me to make calls. I thought it was social anxiety or a trauma reaction, I was embarrassed that I had this problem, and then I found out many other people had the same issue. I do agree that it is not a generational thing, as I know of people from generation Jones, Gen x, millennials, Gen Z—all with the same issue. And then I know many from all walks who ONLY want to talk and not text.

While in my case I think my trigger was trauma related, I think the overall issue is related to being fully present and being documented.

A text conversation gives you the ability to, as I am doing now, think through and edit your responses. It also documents and gives “receipts.” However, it also allows you to switch focus away and back and not be fully present.

The phone conversation requires someone to be completely present and it is very off putting if they are not. It can be difficult to shift gears if you are waiting in a long queue to talk to customer service because you are typically less present (mind wandering) while waiting, and then you have to bring yourself back around. It can be really challenging if you are too much in your head.

Obviously I do overthink things and spend too much time “in my head,” so in my case that is the reason I prefer to write. And then I write too much. Because I talk too much. 😂

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Slipstream_Surfing@reddit

I think you've drilled down to the core issues here better than most comments. Spent 25 years in jobs that consisted of heavy communications via phone and two-way radios. It was all day, every day, and honestly I got very tired of it as I aged. Turns out I'm somewhat of an introvert who happened to excel at pretending to be extroverted.

Would rather not use phone these days if written communications will suffice. Many times it's better because phone conversations are difficult to document. But if it has to be done then I do it without a second thought, although that might be because the sooner the task is done the quicker I can get back to hermiting.

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FordcliffLowskrid@reddit

Talking to assholes on the phone has been a staple of every job I've ever had, and it still is, so it's actually kinda nice to talk to a stranger in a friendly context like ordering food.

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One_Hour_Poop@reddit

I have phone phobia but since I'm a functioning adult I can sound like a normal person on the phone.

My Gen Z kid has similar "stranger danger" anxiety (which was not helped by 2 or 3 years of quarantine during the formative years) but is able to interact well with people, just not voluntarily.

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snark_maiden@reddit

I didn’t really enjoy talking to strangers on the phone when I was younger, but I did several placements through a temp agency as a receptionist back in the day, so that forced me to become more comfortable with the phone pretty damn quickly.

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KlickitatC@reddit

The second I was able to do the things without talking on the phone I embraced it. Facetime is way better because I can see what's not being said

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Unusual_Memory3133@reddit

I’m 59. I work as a medical assistant and scheduling person. Any time I see a new referral come in for a patient in their 20’s, I know it’s going to be a struggle to get my job done. I also worked with a Gen Z person who would send emails rather than call someone. It eventually had to be addressed. Talking on the phone is a skill and we were taught how to, for one, and we also didn’t have the luxury of text or email so we HAD to learn. All I can say is, the struggle is real!

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LadyMayhem02@reddit

I usually ask my husband to make calls for me. My sister helps me too. I just freeze up and stutter terribly and it’s awful for the other person and me.

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Awkward_Win1551@reddit

My wife

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sharkycharming@reddit

I can, but I hate it, and will procrastinate it as long as possible. (Especially if it's a medical office -- most medical receptionists are so mean on the phone.) I've always hated it, though. I used to ask my best friend call (from her house) to order pizza for me (to my house) because I was too scared. I am painfully shy, though, and always was. I don't think it has much to do with my generational affiliation.

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LolaAucoin@reddit

I’ve never had a problem with this.

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Snapper_Turtleman@reddit

I was talking to my wife the other day about this, and I think a large difference in genx and subsequent generations is the illusion of choice. No one was coming to help us. No one was going to hold our hands through that call or that meeting. Not doing the thing we didn't want to do wasn't even an option. Doesn't make us better or more capable. We just knew no one was coming. There was no help.

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mjh8212@reddit

I used to work in telemarketing and as an answering service operator. I don’t like being on the phone. Tomorrow I got to call social security cause I just got married and need to change my last name and know what’s going to happen with my SSDI and SSI. I just need to know if I should make an appointment or if I can just go there. I’m dreading it I’m rehearsing what to say over and over again in my head. I don’t know when this started probably shortly after i stopped working on the phones. I just feel like I don’t want to bother anyone in a way. Even my kids know to call me cause I’m afraid they’re busy when I want to call and don’t want to bother them. My dad’s the same way.

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Honeybee71@reddit

Never lol

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bougnvioletrosemallo@reddit

Phone phobia is nothing new. I remember reading about it in the 90s. I'm sure it's been a thing since way before that. Probably since the first iteration of rotary phones

Boomers, Gen X and Millennials with this affliction had no choice but to power through it with various strategies. One tactic was avoiding phone interactions when possible and finding other solutions (go to the pizza place to order in person instead of by phone; ask a family member to call the customer service line about the warranty; bribe a coworker to be the phone spokesperson for an account by offering to write all their TPS reports for a month).

Or by sucking it up and just getting on the phone with a lot of trepidation, mental anguish and stomach acid. They think a lot about the call. Probably do some prep. Strategize the call. Rehearse what they are going to say or ask. Think about what the other person might say or ask, and think about how they will respond to various scenarios. Maybe write stuff down, like a rough script. Then they cross their fingers and dial the number.

I guess it's similar to how the rest of us deal with colonoscopies. None of us want to do it. Most of us are scared to do it. But we square up and prepare to have our emotional serenity violated. All of it is character building.

I worry about Gen Z growing up in an environment and time where phone anxiety, and aversion to human contact/communication (preference for chat bots and AI friends and mentors) is the norm, and not the exception.

In the workplace, sometimes it is much more efficient to resolve something over the phone, rather than with 20 emails. Or to write an elaborate email, with all the correct wording, punctuation, emojis, and sign off, to not sound "mean" or "mad" or "rude". But instead of calling, I have to get on Teams and ask permission to call. "Hey, is it ok to give you a quick call about the TLX protocol? I just wanted to give you a heads up about this glitch I saw with the DFD widgets in the SEP file share."

We are now in a place where it is actually RUDE to make an unexpected call, whether in the workplace, or even in your personal life (texting is the norm, not calling). This is not even generational. We have all just accepted that this is the norm now. Whereas in the before times, it was understood that all phone calls were inherently unexpected, because duh...that's how phones work.

I don't necessarily like phone convos either. But, generally, I think we have all taken phone aversion too far.

For one thing, as much as I dislike phone conversations, I would much rather get a human on the phone, than a chatbot, when I am calling my bank, my ISP, my phone carrier, my health insurance, etc. etc. It's fucking infuriating to tap through a robo menu and/or be told to download the app to use the chat to resolve your issue. I can't believe people prefer this, to just talking to someone.

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ubiquity75@reddit

No.

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skatecrimes@reddit

Was like this in my 20s. Got better in my 30s. Pretty much gone in my 40s.

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14ANH2817@reddit

I used the phone plenty when I had no choice and probably didn't imagine other choices. But I can't say I ever liked phone calls much. When email and web forms came along, I happily abandoned telephony wherever possible.

It's only mildly and occasionally annoying because of the actual conversation. It's the whole idea of surprising someone on the other end, and having them surprise you, for a conversation of any consequence or worse, no particular urgency at all. If it's a weighty matter, I'm probably not prepared or at my best to discuss it. If it's just for social reasons, I'm probably busy at the time of th call. When you really need to get something done you get stuck in phone tag because (for perhaps understandable reasons) the other person does not pick up. All that strikes me as inefficient and disruptive.

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tdpoo@reddit

Shoot I don't even like to talk on the phone with people I know. I was on the phone all the time when I was younger before there was text and email and cell phones. I don't know why I avoid it now.

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Directorshaggy@reddit

Can but don't want to. People suck and I want as little to do with them as possible. I love this stage of my life where I loath being around other humans. Next stop: the cabin in the woods where I listen to my records and smoke stupid amounts of mother nature.

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Life_of1103@reddit

I avoid calling for service, food, etc not because of any sort of fear, mental issue, but because doing it online is faster and less likely to result in my order to be messed up.

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Ashkendor@reddit

I work for the state tax department, and I have to communicate with various vendors for state contracts. Sometimes, we need to verify information about the business before we can sign off. I always request that this be done via email, but inevitably, some contractors decide to call anyway, despite specific instructions to the contrary. My dude, I need the information in writing, and contacting me via email allows me to respond when I have time. Quit giving me anxiety by making my damn phone ring when I'm already with a customer right in front of me!

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MortadellaBarbie@reddit

I hate talking on the phone. When I absolutely have to make a call, I procrastinate and stress about it. Thank god almost no one in my office uses the phone.

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MrsCrowley79@reddit

What are you going to class as mental issues?

I'm autistic, with social communication issues, and thanks to T/trauma I hate phone calls.

I shouldn't have to feign interest in my Doc's receptionist's flower garden (or whatever) to make an important medical appointment. I don't want to have to politely chit-chat with someone who stands to close to me in the supermarket. Important decisions or information shouldn't be dependent on memories of words people have spoken.

Fortunately as a super younger X-er ('79) I didn't have to do it for long via non electronic means.

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Diesel07012012@reddit

My parents hardly let me express myself at home, why they thought I’d want to talk to a stranger on the phone is beyond me.

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JenninMiami@reddit

I hate talking on the phone, but I’m fine if I have to do it. Last week I had to speak to a rep about homeowners insurance, and the call was over an hour long. We discussed our kids, our divorces, the insane Florida real estate market, issues with infrastructure in expanding cities, our dogs, cats and what kinds of birds make the best pets. 😆 By the time the policy was ready, I felt like I’d made a new best friend. I do this A LOT.

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RadioactiveLily@reddit

The older I get, the worse my social anxiety gets. I dread making phone calls now. If it's a call where I know they want to hear from me (like when I was a buyer and knew the vendor wanted my call), it's easier. But I still need to psyche myself up that they want to hear from me, they want to hear from me, they want to hear from me.

When I have to, I just suck it up, put on my professional voice from my years as a receptionist, and get it done.

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Hayabusalvr11@reddit

It's not that hard. You have something you're afraid to do but you have to do it, you suck it up and do it. I hate doing those things but if I had to I would. And like anything the more you do it the easier it becomes.

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kazoogrrl@reddit

Sometimes making a call cuts through a lot of time and bs. Email is fine, but I hate downloading another app or dealing with a chat bot, I can't stand anything that feels fiddly. I've never even used Instacart because halfway through I thought, "Fuck this noise" and gave up. For work sometimes I have to call a vendor or logistics company to get an immediate answer; it also usually works better when someone is dragging their feet or avoiding emails. On the personal side, if I want to talk to some family members I have to call, and we have much better communication than if we texted.

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Dense_Call_5966@reddit

This is a very Gen X response and I love it. There are a lot of reasons not everyone can “just do it,” but the philosophy is sound!

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stanley_leverlock@reddit

I've never liked phones and when texting and email came around I was overjoyed to not have to talk on the phone. It's the norm for me to look at my monthly work and personal phone bills and see 0 voice minutes on them.

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UsherOfDestruction@reddit

We have "AI" that can draw me a picture of Dracula smoking a bong with Ghandi. Why am I talking to people on a phone?

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NoKing9900@reddit

My husband (M65) and I (M59) have very different phone styles. If there a problem with an appliance or a plumbing issues, he’ll take 5 minutes or more trying to describe it, being apologetic, going on tangent. I’m like, “here’s my address and contact info, here’s the problem, when can you come out to fix it, thank you” and I’m done.

I have no problem keeping my calls to the point and I can get off quick

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Snogafrog@reddit

This is one of those questions that will skew a particular way due to the Reddit constituency, IMHO.

Personally I have no problem calling businesses, and at times prefer it since humans can frequently (but not always) get me answers and resolution faster vs. online systems.

However, I have an early career experience of in person cold-calling on businesses, so calling the doctor's office is not so intimidating to me.

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Different_Muscle_116@reddit

Its the opposite for me. Im fine with talking to the people, but the phone tree and voicing or pressing numbers for my customer information gets me anxious so that by the time I get a human, I’m revved up. I start to calm down when I talk to the human.

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markallanholley@reddit

I can talk on the phone with anyone, but if I can, I usually write myself a script first. Especially for business calls. Just to make sure that I'm saying everything that I need to say.

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bird9066@reddit

I have a lot of mental health issues. Couldn't talk on the phone to save my life. Went without. Waited in the corner pizza shops. Then I became a single mom.

Started working in accounts payable and just forced myself to do it while looking at the Picture of my kids at my desk. It was the only job that paid me enough and I really couldn't lose it. My family sucks (parents are the reason for all the mental issues) so that was it unless I wanted to give my kids up.

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TravelerMSY@reddit

Up to the age of 17 or so, sure.

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Practical-Plenty907@reddit

I think most of can do this, we just hate doing it, so we procrastinate. Who wants to sit on hold and be transferred 3 times to get to the appropriate department?

But yeah, a lot Z doesn’t even know how to answer or start a phone call.

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percolated_1@reddit

After basically 35 years of customer facing jobs, I hate the telephone with a purple passion. It’s nothing but trouble. You bend over backwards to help somebody, something doesn’t turn out exactly how they wanted, and they call your boss and try to put words in your mouth that never came out of it. People say crazy shit on the phone that they would never say in person. And then there’s the sheer time waste as they drag out the call arguing an answer they don’t like, trying to cajole you into giving professional advice beyond the scope of your profession, or trying to pressure you into giving a time frame for shit backed up on someone else’s desk. Or lock you into half a week of phone tag. So if I can answer a voice mail with an email or letter, I’m doing that instead. It covers my ass and the client’s, it’s more accountable, and it usually saves a buttload of time. It does piss off the entitled, the con artists, and the born hagglers.

I can handle calling customer service, no problem. I prefer to order online, but I can do that over the phone if needed too. I can call to make appointments and so on.

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sunny_gym@reddit

I think I'm the rare person who would prefer to talk on the phone to resolve a problem with customer service (I'm the one yelling "REPRESENTATIVE" at the automated phone tree). It just seems so much faster to talk to a human than jump through endless online hoops and then hope the issue gets resolved.

Here's a tip: if you are talking to a stranger in one of these scenarios, open with "I need your help." The vast majority of people actually do want to help you. Calling that out empowers them to do so.

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Ok_Ordinary6694@reddit

My cell phone exists for my convenience, not anyone else’s.

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zombie_overlord@reddit

I don't LIKE to talk on the phone, but it doesn't bother me to do things I know I have to do. Not doing it will be a bigger problem.

I have Z kids that are totally like this though. Huge anxiety about any social interaction with a stranger. I constantly tell them that they're allowed to exist and have agency. The cashier is being paid to help you - you're allowed to speak to them. Just be friendly and you'll get what you need.

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Strong_Mulberry789@reddit

Not well.

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floppy_breasteses@reddit

Not more than any other generation. Aren't we the "walk it off" generation? I do realise not every condition is walk off-able but it seems like we're becoming a generation that complains a lot. Bound to be an unpopular opinion, but is our "zero fucks given" mentality weakening or have we been faking it?

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AEM7694@reddit

I hate talking on the phone with a passion. Probably because I had 6 years or so worth of shit jobs where I was on the phone 80-90% of the time, even though that wasn’t the expectation up front. I can talk on the phone though when I need/want to without issue. I just choose not to now.

My kids however, are barely functional on the phone, even with my wife and I coaching them on basic phone etiquette. It’s not like we ask them to call random strangers either. It’s more like, hey call your aunt and wish her a happy birthday, or call grandma & grandpa and tell them how your went, they like to hear that stuff.

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sassyfontaine@reddit

Good god I hate talking on the phone. Never do it.

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Baxtir@reddit

As a young Gen X-er, I have to deal with anxiety and a severe hearing loss, though I can hear with a hearing aid in my right ear (left has zero hearing so no aid). Both of those issues contribute to my having issues with the phone, enough to try and find alternative options, if possible. I'll deal with the phone though, if absolutely needed, and having a captioning phone helps somewhat to relieve that anxiety of not being able to understand what someone is saying over the phone. I can't always understand what people are saying, even with lip-reading, but without being able to do that? It's worse but I'll still persevere when I need to, because I'm tenacious.

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Quintipluar@reddit

Newer generations are growing up in a very disconnected social landscape which makes it more conducive to social anxiety. Social skills are like muscles; they atrophy if you don't use them. And modern technology currently facilitates that.

I hear there's a trend of Gen Zers switching to flip phones which gives me hope for them.

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flaginorout@reddit

I have no problem calling people.

I'll even (gulp) drive to a place of business and (gulp) resolve and issue in-person.

The in-person part is my superpower.

Them "sorry, we can't issue you a refund"

Me "Hmmm. Tell you what, Barbara, I'd like to discuss this further. How about I come down there in an hour"

Them "That won't be necessary. I'm crediting your account right now".

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aurora_rosealis@reddit

I've never really liked phone calls, although somehow I was able to stay on the phone for hours as a teenager. No idea how I did it! Maybe I was faking it, lol. I've worn hearing aids since I was small, and have always had a hard time with voices through phones or electronics (tv, radio, etc.). Short calls are fine, especially if the other person speaks clearly. Muffled voices or poor enunciation or voices with accents, or calls that take longer than two minutes absolutely exhaust my brain. I avoid calls if at all possible, both personal and professional. Video calls are easier, as long as it's a good connection. Closed captioning on tv and videos is a godsend.

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bootnab@reddit

I did three years on phone banks. It broke me.

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Magik160@reddit

We were told every day "never talk to strangers" so we dont. We barely talk to people we know.

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RetreadRoadRocket@reddit

No, I don't know anyone from my generation who can't call up a business and ask a question or place an order. We learned how to do it when we were young because the only options were face to face or a phone call so you pushed yourself past any nervousness the first time and then got used to it.

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Leather_Network4743@reddit

I can’t stand actually talking on the phone, anymore. I have so many things on my to-do list that are just languishing because I don’t want to pick up the phone to call someone about them. If I can’t do it via email/online/text/chat, anymore, it just doesn’t get done.

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TheYearOfThe_Rat@reddit

It's half and half probably. The skill behind doing it is resilience and assertiveness and they don't come to most people naturally, and need to be trained and honed over the duration of one's life, however, those, unfortunately, are actual animal competition skills - that is skills related to social success and ultimately reproductive success; to be a sorta neo-Social-Darwinist - the people who don't have those skills suffer a lot by not having them, because most societies are oriented towards extroversion and confrontational / negotiational culture, even moreso in recent years, which means the more "polite", "safe", "introverted", "rule-following" people are likely to get evolutionary-wiped out.

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emccm@reddit

I am 100% with the Gen Zs here. There is absolutely zero need for anyone to be calling on the phone in 2025.

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LesterMcGuire@reddit

The people afraid to use the phone are hiring managers

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Imyourhuckl3berry@reddit

I have no problem with it but I know some people hate talking with strangers even if it’s just to see if a restaurant has an opening - they would much rather just not interact and do it online

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fbombmom_@reddit

I hate it, but being employed requires me to interact with humans.

I learned to put on my "game face" while working a sales support role. I saw how the sales reps turned on their sales personalities to shmooz and make a deal. It was an extra, more outgoing version of their normal selves. They were acting, and I learned how to do that, too. I definitely have social anxiety, and that game face helps me when I have to deal with teachers or other adult things IRL.

I have taught my kids to be able to order their own food, pay (with my card) at the register, and speak with adults. I didn't want to pass my social anxiety on to them. I think it held me back from opportunities in school and in my career.

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LeighofMar@reddit

Ever since I was little and my dad would tell me to order pizza. I got thru it but let's just say I'm so glad e-mail, online ordering, and texting was invented. Life is so much better now. When I have to make a call, I'm all business and after it's done, I crawl back into my hermitage.

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klippDagga@reddit

I have had 10 minute conversations with wrong numbers, so no.

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HammerMeUp@reddit

I can. Just rather not.

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Bear_Salary6976@reddit

I'm not a fan of it but I don't avoid it. I prefer to place orders online rather than calling somebody who is either going to try to upsell me to something that I have no interest in. I also don't like talking with a stranger who thinks that they have to be over-the-top friendly with me, or that they even think that they have to make small talk, while calling me by my name multiple times.

I am worried that I will be speaking to somebody from India that really doesn't understand what my issue is, is still reading from a script that they were given.

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JadedInMontana@reddit

I will do anything possible to get out of having to talk on the phone. It isn't just with strangers, it's with practically anyone. Just text me, please.

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Top-Order-2878@reddit

I used to never have a problem with this. Then I did a year doing dialup Internet tech support. Since then I hate talking on the phone. That was 25+ years ago and I still hate it It broke something in me I think.

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feralGenx@reddit

I have no problem with calling and talking to someone on the phone even if I don't know them. This seems more like a millennial or gen z issue from what I've seen.

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arothmanmusic@reddit

In general, I was never one who enjoyed talking on the phone. I've gotten better at it, but I will still send an email or a text message along before I will actually consider speaking to somebody. Not sure why.

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DryFoundation2323@reddit

I hope not at our age. It's really just a matter of pushing through and doing it. Everybody has a little bit of anxiety about confrontation.

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Substantial-Spare501@reddit

I don’t like it but I do it sometimes. I answer the phone with “this is (insert my name)”.

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Shawnchittledc@reddit

I excel at phone calls, but I don’t love them. The trick to phone calls isn’t talking, but listening.

I think there might be some cases where people don’t understand the listen / talk / listen / talk live communication concept.

With text messaging, there is no listening.

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Complex_Ingenuity_26@reddit

Boomers do that

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Sensitive-Issue84@reddit

No, I'm very, very good at phone conversations and cold calling. I worked for government agencies during disasters, and being able to cold call officials is a talent. I learned it young. I feel sorry for this generation who can't even look you in the face and talk, let alone talk on the phone.

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Drewp655321@reddit

I have good and bad days with the task of phone calls with anyone. there always seems to be a spectrum of anxiety. I'm a very introverted person

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RedditSkippy@reddit

I hate phone calls, but what I’ve long realized is that the only way out is through.

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d297bc33a9@reddit

I prefer texting/chat instead. It's concise. No irrelevant conversation necessary. I can arrange my thoughts on digital notes beforehand. It helps that I type 90+ wpm.

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hapster85@reddit

If I can do it online, I'll choose that every time over taking to someone on the phone.

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RaspberryVespa@reddit

No one likes dealing with “people”, but you just do it when the necessity strikes.

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Relevant_Fuel_9905@reddit

Hm. No, I can talk to anyone on the phone for any reason. Some calls are maybe a bit more uncomfortable, but that’s very rare I find.

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ms_rdr@reddit

I don’t like it but I can. Because it used to be the only way to accomplish certain necessary tasks.

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inigo_montoya@reddit

To be fair to GenZ, the number of times you're going to resolve something with a phone call these days is orders of magnitude fewer than what we dealt with. So not only are they not getting the practice, their personal experimental evidence suggests it's better to find another way. Our only alternative was writing a letter. Now there are many modes. As far as I can tell, they are developing fluency in all of them.

That said, though I am by no means especially good at phone-fu, at this point I'm starting to feel like I usually have better phone-fu than whoever I'm talking to.

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creepyoldlurker@reddit

I'm a mid-GenX and hate making phone calls. I have never had issues making calls for work, just things like calling restaurants...I really have to be hungry and psych myself up. I think it's because I am somewhat introverted and don't like putting people out, even if it's their job, not really a generational thing.

My husband was born in '66 and even when there's a way for him to take care of what he needs online (through an order portal, an online chat, etc) he prefers to call. Weirdo.

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DeadBy2050@reddit (OP)

I have never had issues making calls for work, just things like calling restaurants

You're not the only one with this response. I wonder why this is.

Is it because at work, you're playing a role, so it's not your "real" persona? Or maybe because you already have a "script" and the potential scope of the call is very close-ended, so you feel there is more control?

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creepyoldlurker@reddit

I think you hit the nail on the head with your analysis...both of your ideas seem likely.

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Comfortable_Fly_8368@reddit

I find it far easier to communicate over the phone/in person than through text. I can't stand trying to carry on a conversation through text or other online messaging. I tell family that if you need more than a yes/no answer to just call me.

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johninfla52@reddit

I think it extends even further. I have seen many younger folks afraid to make small talk with people in the grocery or other shops. Sure, nobody likes it at the beginning but it's pleasant and makes an experience more memorable.

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ValleyGirlHusband@reddit

When I was pre-teen I would run to be the one to get to call and order pizza. Some time in my early teenage years, that flipped, and I hated it, and that really hasn't stopped. A lot of that is social anxiety, luckily not crippling and I was still have tough days, but I'm taking meds for it and it's way better, but I still HATE making calls. If I can avoid calling in any way, I will. Thank god that other nerds have the same problem and invented the internet and texting

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Sintered_Monkey@reddit

I can do it, but I absolutely hate it. I will try to do it any other way besides making a phone call.

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wrenchedups@reddit

Interesting question.

I’m not at all incapable of doing stuff by phone. I do it all the time while working. My age means I grew up with analogue technology and the requisite coping skills.

My antisocial tendencies are what drive my consumerism now. I strongly favour self-checkouts and online ordering.

I’m capable of, but unwilling to do things like order food over the phone. If I can’t order electronically, I don’t order from that place.

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