ULPT Problem Squatter

Posted by Bosque_Wanderer_505@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 53 comments

Hey ULPT fam, I need help brainstorming. First I wanna say I have no problems with my unhoused brothers and sisters - been there before myself, and do what I can to kick a few bucks or a sammie when I see folks. That said I’ve got a squatter in my alley which is also primary access to my house. First couple weeks went well - dude kept his stuff clean and we said hello every time passing. Last two weeks has gone to hell. Hes running around naked and doing hard drugs. He’s taken over the alley and we have a confrontation every time I need to leave my house or come back because I can’t get past his shit. Drug use has gone up and there’s a parade of unsavory characters going through on the regular. Foilies blowing into my backyard and I’ve got a kid and a dog I’m worried about getting into it. Multiple reports by myself and neighbors and cops are zero help. What can I do?

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Boingo_Zoingo@reddit

Pine-sol or Pinalen with pine oil, applied to the area once a day. Nice odor to walk through, stings and burns the eyes if you sit in it.

Corn syrup on the stoop/area he sits or lays down in. Applied every few days. Very sticky and may cover him with ants

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NeetDaimyo@reddit

Get him trespassed.

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briomio@reddit

He is exposing himself to children - report to the police. They should arrest

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Bosque_Wanderer_505@reddit (OP)

My neighbors and I have all reported him. Indecent exposure, illicit drug use, and obstruction of access. Cops haven’t done a damn thing. We have 8 documented reports in just over a week.

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KahurangiNZ@reddit

Are you reporting everything under the same case number? If not, then each individual report may be getting lost in the mire, whereas adding on a new thing every day or two to an existing case file keeps it fresh and obvious.

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briomio@reddit

At this point, I would make an appointment with the police chef and gather as many neighbors as you can to accompany you to that appointment and make it known that your community is not going to accept such poor police protection.

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Kooky-Glass4409@reddit

Invite some policemen over for dinner...

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Bosque_Wanderer_505@reddit (OP)

I think this is probably the way to go. Some of these other comments are good ideas, depending on the individual, but several of this guy’s actions yesterday were threatening. He’s not right in the head and I’m increasingly concerned that he’s going to do something violent. Thank you - I’ll reach out to my neighbors today and call to get an appointment.

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briomio@reddit

The squeaky wheel gets oiled

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briomio@reddit

The squeaky wheel gets oiled

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JustForArkona@reddit

I know it's just a typo but I'm enjoying the image of a police chef solemnly hearing complaints in a police uniform and a chef hat

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Can_U_Share_A_Square@reddit

A French police chef….Chief Inspector Jacque Clouseau.

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jonesey71@reddit

Police chefs are the worst. They burn the dinner and then shoot it for being black.

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moresmarterthanyou@reddit

What state ?

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klaus_reckoning_1@reddit

I am SHOCKED! SHOCKED I say

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Something_McGee@reddit

Get a bluetooth speaker and blast the sound of police sirens. I once did this to get my drunk/high neighbor and his friends to clear out. I was surprised when a couple of tweakers jumped out of some hidden areas and took off, too.

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timesurfer69@reddit

Play a baby crying 24/7 for 2 weeks straight. If it worked in Vietnam, it works here

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Something_McGee@reddit

Army made a special playlist for Noriega.

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godzillabobber@reddit

Opera played loud works too.

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OriginalIronDan@reddit

If you posted about this in the last couple of weeks, I saw it! They jumped out of the bushes, IIRC.

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Something_McGee@reddit

Yeah. 😂 It was my daughter's idea! I just went along with it bc it sounded funny. I really didn't expect it to work.

I reminded her about that stunt after I posted it. She told me there were two tweakers. (I thought there was only one.) At first, they ran towards each other. When they saw each other, they freaked out and ran in opposite directions.

I'm kinda disappointed I didn't take the lights and let her hold the speaker!

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FeralRodeo@reddit

Sounds like a Benny Hill show sketch!

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Davemblover69@reddit

Sounds like roaches

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willisfitnurbut@reddit

Put some concentrated skunk essence in your alley

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Pomegranate_1328@reddit

Add fish fertilizer too. Smells bad .

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FishyKeebs@reddit

Thanks for the link, now Amazon is recommending deer, coyotes, wolf; musk, urine and estrus.

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SubstantialPressure3@reddit

Call for a wellness check. He's definitely not well. Or, call for an ambulance instead of calling for cops. They will send the cops and someone is going to have to evaluate him.

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FishyKeebs@reddit

I did this once and so many showed upnit was not funny, police, fire, EMS, probably a dozen vehicles. However I said he looked dead, half on/ half off the sidewalk with his feet in bushes, bed comforter covering his head. In the middle of the day and 90+ degrees.

It was a very bad part of town. I only doubled back to confirm what I had seen. I did not get out of the car, just doubled back to confirm what I had seen, called 911 as I drove away. The cop called me back to say he was sleeping. Felt bad for disrupting his sleep. Had to go back past that same area a few hours later and he was still there but with his head uncovered in the bushes, but still had the bed comforter on top of him.

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FormidableMistress@reddit

I was driving home from a night out, it was like 1 am. I see a body on the sidewalk. I double back and stop with my headlights on the person. I call 911 and tell them there's a guy laid out on the sidewalk, and dispatch asks me if he's alive. I said idk but send an ambulance. She wanted me to go check for a pulse and I said absolutely not. We were next to a wooded area, it was pitch black, and no one else was around. As soon as the cops got there ANOTHER GUY COMES OUT OF THE WOODS. He said that was his friend and the guy was drunk and passed out, and he got scared and ran away. They seemed to be homeless and there was a camp in the woods. I told the cop it was sketchy and he said he didn't think they were under the influence. I'm glad I trusted my gut and didn't go check the guy for a pulse because that was probably a trap.

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FishyKeebs@reddit

Former EMS, 911 does that because they are over stretched, and to initiate life saving measures. But scene safety is always number 1 for EMS and even LE. Dispatchers often fail to see this. We had a case where the dispatcher was trying to get the caller to climb into an empty tank to assess the victim. Ended up being that the victim was overcome by ammonia vapors. Fire had to use respirators to bring him out for the coroner.

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FormidableMistress@reddit

I understand why, and in normal circumstances on a busy street during the day I absolutely would have. But I've consumed too much True Crime to approach a man alone in the dead of night.

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FishyKeebs@reddit

My comment was that dispatchers should be considering the caller's scene safety. You did the right thing.

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FormidableMistress@reddit

He was definitely fine. He tried acting disoriented (I guess?) with the cops, but it didn't seem genuine, and his movements were sharp and alert. I've really learned to listen to my gut, and my gut was screaming ISSA TRAP!!!

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northernbeachlights@reddit

Do NOT call the ambulance. For the love of all that's holy. They're not going to get the cops to do anything either. You're just going to take an already overwhelmed EMS system and add to it, taking an ambulance away from someone that may actually need it. Ambulances should not be used as a catch all. Find another way.

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SubstantialPressure3@reddit

If someone is naked and obviously a danger to themself and other people, that's not being used as a catch all. That's someone that needs help.

It may not just be drugs. That could be a psychotic break.

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northernbeachlights@reddit

Which would still be a law enforcement issue, not an EMS issue.

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SubstantialPressure3@reddit

They aren't going to send an ambulance. I've learned that.

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Ghrrum@reddit

Report gunshots heard.

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Bosque_Wanderer_505@reddit (OP)

Happens every night here. Cops don’t even respond.

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WatchingYouWatchMe2@reddit

Well then, there is you unethical tip staring you in the face.......just shoot the fuck

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UnethicalLifeProTips-ModTeam@reddit

Removed by Reddit.

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around_the_clock@reddit

What country is this?

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blaspheminCapn@reddit

Chicago?

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Jimmysendit81@reddit

First off you can stop voting Democrat, second off, run the bastard off.. kick his ass out of there. Do it physically if you have to, but the shit isn't ok...

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Plz_DM_Me_Small_Tits@reddit

If you have access to a window above him, dump some water on him a few times when he's sleeping or tweaking

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Bosque_Wanderer_505@reddit (OP)

I do not, and this guy is getting kind of scary. Last night he appeared to have a gun. I’m going to take someone else’s advice and pull a group of my neighbors together to go demand action by the police chief.

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