ULPT: Lady took shoes from gf and refused to pay, now what?

Go to the duckduckgo browser and sign up for an email. They are just forwarding emails, so reddit@duck.com will forward wherever you want. Confirm, and then delete the duck.com email.

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throwRA_StraightDust@reddit (OP)

This is what I came here for

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fingers@reddit

I really think she needs solar on her roof.

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FiveYardFaded@reddit

This is the one. I’m still getting call 5 (five) years later

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Regular_Yellow710@reddit

She needs gutters too. Lots of gutters.

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Baguetele@reddit

Political party donations. Any and all in your area.

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throwaway46787543336@reddit

I read something about reaching out to health insurance companies. All you really need is the right phone number and they will call her more than 100 times in the next 48 hours

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idiomblade@reddit

health-enrollment.com

she's gonna need a new phone #

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Purple-Candidate1854@reddit

Wipe it off and continue scrolling, Premature Man.

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robvdgeer@reddit

Wait. If she figures out it was you (or your gf), what would stop her doing the same to you/your gf? She has your address.

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BadFishCM@reddit

I’ve been signing people up to gay dating sites for years with zero consequences so far.

Do it OP.

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nonbinary_parent@reddit

Damn, that must be why HungDaddy6969 didn’t message me back…

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Sweet-Awk-7861@reddit

Stagger it. Turn on reminders at day 9, 14, 33, or something like it that looks random. Also the reminder serves as a way to offload your mind so that you don't obsess over it 24/7.

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SubstantialPressure3@reddit

Sign her up for indeed and monster jobs. People will start calling from a million different numbers and it takes forever to get them to stop.

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Wish I had known this sooner. I signed up with Indeed six months ago when I lost my job. I deactivated my profile three months ago when I got a new one (not through them), and I am STILL getting spam messages offering me “jobs”.

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Cryptophiliac_meh@reddit

Last time I used Indeed was years ago. Emails go to a spam folder now but still sometimes multiple a day despite deactivating my account and stating IM EMPLOYED 3 years ago. Seconding as a nuisance sign up!

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SubstantialPressure3@reddit

And loans to go back to school, and car loans, and calls from unaccredited colleges?

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ColdSmashedPotatoes4@reddit

Dude, sign her up for every pet insurance company for quotes. Those guys are crazy with their emails and stuff.

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Gogglesed@reddit

A post the other day suggested "health-enrollment.com"

Maybe this woman needs some health services?

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mopbuvket@reddit

Get the number for that health insurance place from the other day here. Sign her up there. Then wrap a pissdisc in a 5$ bill and huck it through her window. Maybe spray paint theif on her car/house

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Shaiziin@reddit

Man sign her up for every magazine subscription and spam phone call list if you can

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ThrowAwayGarbage82@reddit

Even worse - moving companies. Those people will hound you for a year from crap tons of phone numbers and you can block them all you want - there will be ten more.

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b0ingy@reddit

yeah she needs some Jebus.

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Independent_Bite4682@reddit

And beastialty porn

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smartdark@reddit

Are there any online subscriptions?

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NoSoup2941@reddit

$5? And they were willing to steal them anyways? Pro life tip ignore this person and don’t re engage. Dangerous.

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throwRA_StraightDust@reddit (OP)

This is a great point. Something is off.

Her facebook marketplace profile is full of brand new stuff. She has 12 brand new pairs of men’s shoes. She has 35 pairs of cargo shorts with the tags still on. I think she is stealing all day every day.

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enwongeegeefor@reddit

I think she is stealing all day every day.

So I mean....report her to the local authorities...they'll take it seriously enough because it's a REALLY easy collar for them.

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mechmind@reddit

No, they won't. Just move on.

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Vast-Fan998@reddit

Yeah… as much as I’d love legal vengeance, I truly doubt the popo will do anything in this case. Or in any case. I don’t have much confidence in the police. Especially when it’s $5. OP, hopefully they’re enough of a kleptomaniac that a big box store will finally catch her. Stealing from Lowe’s? Now that might be something worth actually getting out of your cruiser for.

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Teal_Studio9@reddit

I was gonna say, she sounds like a straight up THIEF. Sorry about this but am thankful for you that it was only $5.

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NoSoup2941@reddit

And that’s just what she’s doing publicly. People like this are unhinged and if there’s one thing you can count on is that unhinged people ALWAYS have less to lose than you do. It’s not worth going toe to toe with them or trying to get them back. $5 is not even close to worth it.

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SpanishFlamingoPie@reddit

This is for unethical tips sir and/or madam.

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NoSoup2941@reddit

Piss disc then

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SpanishFlamingoPie@reddit

LoL thanks. I'm just joking though. I know what you mean .

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Skyblacker@reddit

Screenshot her profile and send it with your report to the police. Then report every listing to Facebook as a stolen item, attaching your police report as proof.

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Regular_Yellow710@reddit

New windows. Everyone needs new windows. Oh, this is good my daughter gets mail from them all the time, she donates blood, the Red Cross!

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North-Question-5844@reddit

Light a bag of dog poo on her porch Lol

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Flux_My_Capacitor@reddit

No offense but the whole porch pick up concept is so damn ridiculous and it’s amazing that people would trust others to not steal given that Facebook is scam central.

TLDR; your girlfriend is too trusting and she’s lucky she only lost a pair of shoes.

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Prins_Paulus@reddit

For a $5 item, and maximum convenience, and often likely to make someone happy, I wouldn't mind either

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TurtleStepper@reddit

I wouldn't mind either but I would only do that full well knowing there is like at least a 50% chance they get stolen. If you are good with that then go ahead. People used to just give stuff away on craigslist, wasn't always junk either. They probably still do, can't say I've kept up with those sorts of markets. I know I wouldn't bother trying to sell anything for $5 though.

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probably_beans@reddit

People still do give stuff away completely for free on craigslist, sometimes it's furniture or toys or household stuff that's still good but the owner doesn't need, would feel guilty putting in the trash, but also doesn't want to go through the effort of selling or donating.

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MeYaj1111@reddit

My wife and I ran a small side hustle on Facebook making custom stickers for people around 10byears ago, we did it for about a year exclusively doing porch pickups, 5 to 10 most days in a basket on a chair on our front porch and several envelopes of money with 10 to 20 bucks in each one would be there for the taking and never once did someone take something that wasn't theirs, take someone's else's payment or take their stickers without paying. It's not all bad out there

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BourbonSucks@reddit

this is my experience with small town farmers. from tomatoers to field peas

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Background_actor412@reddit

Keywords 'Small Town'!

We live in a small town too and my son was ready to rent his own apartment and we found one in an even smaller town nearby. Current population 307! His landlord lives three houses down and owns like half the block. On rent week he puts a giant glass jug (like the big ones you used to buy pickles in) on his front porch and everybody just puts envelopes of money with their names on them or checks in the jar. Even though he's been doing this for 20 years, the money has never disappeared!

We're from Pittsburgh originally, you can't do that down there! LOL

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Cryptophiliac_meh@reddit

Tomatoer = person who tomatos?

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Regular_Yellow710@reddit

10 years ago. Gotcha. Things changed after Covid they really did.

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bIackcatttt@reddit

I’ve e transferred people over $100 multiple times in advance and have yet to be ripped

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BourbonSucks@reddit

this is how many small farmers handle stuff ruraly, they have a cooler outfront full of grocerybags tied shut with different peoples names on it and a mailbox to drop payments in.

this is how i get my fieldpeas

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Lovesliesbleeding@reddit

I agree. One of the local dairy farms has a huge commercial fridge with labeled jars of milk, cream, etc. There is a "payment" box in the door bin. I like to think that me being honest and the farming continuing to be trusting is helping society in some small way.

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WolverinesThyroid@reddit

Nah, I do porch pickup all the time. I consider getting paid as a bonus.

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WeepToWaterTheTrees@reddit

Same. Otherwise the stuff would sit in my trunk for 6 months waiting for me to drop it at the thrift store

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WolverinesThyroid@reddit

I'd rather lose $20 for my bookcase vs driving 10 minutes to meet someone at a 7/11 and hope they don't show up 2 hours late.

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AdventurousTown4144@reddit

I'll take the other side of this argument. It's a $5 thing, really not worth your time. Somebody stole it. Oh no! My closet's a little cleaner. Damn it!

When I worked on a farm, we would take fresh corn and stack it out in a little shack at the front of the property, and people would put money in a bucket to take corn. We may have lost a little corn here and there, but tracking it would have cost more than leaving it set up like that. It worked fine generally.

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No_stupid_questions9@reddit

Just understand that this person has your address

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Background_actor412@reddit

I mean you can give me her phone number. I've been answering those scam calls and giving them this person I hate's number so I could definitely give him two numbers.

Literally sign them up for every text message alert you can think of. Plus tell the scammers. You know those home conventions that they have and they have like window companies, siding companies, insurance quotes and all those things... Sign her up!

And it's so ironic that she said she wouldn't steal them and yet she did. But seriously quit expecting people to pay you after they have the item cuz that's just stupid. No offense

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alwayssearching117@reddit

Does she need an extended warranty on her car? 🤔 😉

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venusiandaydreams@reddit

gimme her fb name and any personal info and ill harass her till she sends u the money

source: i have done this for myself before and got my money back

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justotheruser@reddit

Get some AI pictures and sign up on escort websites with her number as contact. Find as much websites you can, rinse and redo!

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Bratchan@reddit

Post up the shoes on craigs list and say that they are free for pick up pick some shitty hours too and list her address.

Make a new facebook account befraind her take her for the long run and get her to send you money for other random thing.

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insert_punnynamehere@reddit

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brent_bent@reddit

Free 73" TV to first to show up to claim it. New item for free everyday.

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naughty_dan@reddit

Flaming bag of dog poop.

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-bonita_applebum@reddit

If you have her phone number, sign her up for https://health-enrollment.com/ apparently she'll get a flood of soliciting phone calls

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Just_A_Fresh_Wound@reddit

post her number and say, “Taylor Swift’s number leaked!”

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KpopSniper_97@reddit

so this is like when you spend 3 hours debugging code worth $5 in billable time but the principle matters more than the money lol. honestly the porch pickup thing seems risky but i get it for convenience. maybe just chalk it up to learning and require payment upfront next time?

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fingers@reddit

Get all your fb friends to inquire about the stuff she is selling. Get them to say they are DEFINITELY interested, even paying MORE than she wants. Then have them all ghost her.z

Waste 1/2 hour of her time. That's worth at least $5.

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vandon@reddit

Consider this experience an ULPT.

Cash first, then product.

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fingers@reddit

cake

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WolverinesThyroid@reddit

Follow her profile and wait to see if she's selling anything. When she is message her saying you desperately want it. But say you don't have a car. If she'll meet you at a gas station or whatever 30 miles away you will give her an extra $25 or whatever sounds reasonable compared to what she is selling. Then obviously don't show up.

You don't want to offer to much extra because you don't want to sound fake and you can't make it to far away because she might just flat out refuse to go 90 minutes away.

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fastates@reddit

This is good 😅

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No_Mycologist8083@reddit

Contact her from alternate fb profile and make arrangements to buy her stuff, and stand her up every time.

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Ubermel@reddit

Mail her a nice fresh turd

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LadyHawkA@reddit

General advice first the money then the camel, without the money in the account I won't leave anything even if Jesus comes to ask

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LXVIIIKami@reddit

5$ is a cheap lesson

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EatSleepJeep@reddit

Turnabout is Fairplay. Select an item from her store and return the favor.

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T22L60A87@reddit

For $5, I would just chalk it up to a loss and let Karma do its thing; however, if you really want to mess with her, the first thing to do is WAIT. Wait long enough that she will think your gf has given up and chalked it up to a loss (a few weeks? A couple months?). And then whatever you do choose to do, make sure it cannot be traced back to your gf - because as others have already pointed out, she obviously has her address and we don’t know did she might retaliate if she figures it our.

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SuperFLEB@reddit

That's not really teaching any lesson, though, with such a disconnect between action and misfortune.

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lokeilou@reddit

Report her to Facebook marketplace and have her and her corresponding account(s) shut down- that’s sure to cost her a lot more than $5. Create a marketplace post warning other not to do business with her bc she is a scammer. If you have a ring camera or have video proof, send it to a local news station- I realize this was a $5 interaction but I’ve seen crap like this on the news regular on slow news days where someone has video of someone stealing packages from the porch or whatever- the smaller the town, the slower the news. Find out where she works and add that too. If you know for sure where she works call her employer (you don’t have to disclose the info that it was $5!) and say she picked up an item and was supposed to Venmo and didn’t and she ghosted you so you are trying to collect payment- I’m sure her boss will be thrilled!

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noblepaldamar@reddit

Step 1: don’t naively leave stuff out for a sale and expect someone to actually follow through on payment Step 2: refer to step 1 Step 3: you can’t get here because you’ll be doing step 1

Step 4: piss disc her place

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throwRA_StraightDust@reddit (OP)

Totally agree. And this is probably the best bad thing that could have happened when you are meeting strangers on marketplace and giving them your home address.

Her and I will talk.

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BourbonSucks@reddit

also, dont be dissuaded. just because you found a bad apple doesnt mean the bunch is ruined

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StarboardSeat@reddit

Yeah, I'm not giving my home address to someone who won't pay up front (although, it is only $5).

If they want to pay cash, that's fine, we can meet at a mutually agreed upon location.

I always get the people who don't bring the agreed upon amount.
If it was $35, they'll always say something like "well I only brought $20, take it or leave it".

Yeah, I'll leave it... they're usually not happy with that answer, which is why I don't want them to know where I live, lol.

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CoolRunner@reddit

`I complete most of my facebook marketplace sales exactly as OP described. I've never had an issue with it. It's certainly not "naive" of me to do so.

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Ferdi_cree@reddit

Step 4 is the way, dew it

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iLikeAza@reddit

this basically... It's pretty simple to collect payment first in the future. Take it as a $5 lesson & move on.

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BourbonSucks@reddit

if you can find a social media, print out flyers "WARNING THEIF" and put them up around.

its petty, but so is $5.

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MsSpicyO@reddit

If you have their phone number I saw this on here yesterday.

“So I was trying to get health insurance and I came across a website called health-enrollment.com. I just wanted some basic info and gave them my number for a rep to call me.”

https://www.reddit.com/r/UnethicalLifeProTips/s/KWlk1y1csD

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BildoBaggens@reddit

Have your girlfriend send her the details you collected, real name and address. Then just say "last chance".

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toolsavvy@reddit

This lady on facebook marketplace arranged for my girlfriend to leave shoes on the front porch that my girlfriend was selling.

why was your gf selling a front porch?

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onepanto@reddit

Post a photos of her on Facebook with the caption "Nothing worse than a $5 thief"

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JayBanditos@reddit

Prankpackage.com send her something fucked up completely anonymously. I’ve used this multiple times, I even sent my bitch of an ex MIL a bag of candy dicks and a loud sexual moaning birthday card that you can’t turn off you have to literally break it to make it stop.

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SleepyCupcakeDreams@reddit

Blow up her profile with reviews that she stole a five dollar pair of shoes!

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First_Shes_Sweet@reddit

I would "porch-pickup" everything from her front porch

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Drunkenaviator@reddit

My first thought was "Replacing a window that mysteriously had a brick pass through it costs a lot more than $5". But then I realized this was a person who knows your home address and was willing to steal $5 worth of shoes from you. They will have zero qualms about setting your house on fire. Take the L and don't give any more internet randos your home address.

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Rasputin_mad_monk@reddit

Craigslist.

Free beanie babies, high chair, weed wacker, etc with her number.

Indoor yard sale with her address

If you know where she works use the work number and “ask for” in the ad.

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Reasonable-Two-7298@reddit

you know where she lives... start leaving other things outside her door.

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SinkCat69@reddit

Submit a police report. You have her full name and address. That will likely result in the worst headache for her. A record over $5 shoes is good payback.

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stoic_yakker@reddit

Lesson learned.

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ProfStorm@reddit

Get your GF to check out her marketplace listings and find something to the value of $10-$20 that she'd like. Message the thief from a newly created, fake facebook profile (obviously use a burner email and phone number) and arrange to purchase the item your GF chooses. Go round to her house and as soon as you have the item in your hand, tell her she's a thief and you're collecting her debt, then leave. If she tries to stop you, that would be assault and you'd be entitled to defend yourself with "piss discs" and whatever else you have to hand.

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RiddledWithEnigma@reddit

Sounds like they do this often and are re-selling what they take. Make them learn a lesson.

“Hey , this is your last chance to pay. The price has gone up to $50 due to nonpayment.”

Still continue with the other suggestions of Scientology and piss discs.

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KhostfaceGillah@reddit

Get money first.

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Professional-Break19@reddit

Blast her on the local FB stolen page, or any local FB page really

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Salty-Ambition9733@reddit

And on Nextdoor

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Witty_Candle_3448@reddit

Report to Facebook Marketplace. Leave bad reviews. Post her behavior on the Nextdoor app.

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inateri@reddit

Make a fake FB account and offer to buy one of her fb listings (ideally something of hers you actually want) then when you show up ask to see the item and say “I’m taking these as payment for the shoes you stole from my girlfriend” then walk away with them

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Redacted_dact@reddit

For $5 move on with your life.

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sammyluvsya@reddit

I sell things on Facebook a lot. I don’t say ahead of time if something is going to be a porch pickup, just once the buyer is on the way at the time they requested to pick up, I send them a picture of the item on my patio table and I have an envelope with the $ amount written on it half under a rock on the table, and I tell them to please leave the cash in the envelope and to let me know once they pick it up.

Anyone who wants to Venmo I offer a porch pickup to, and I tell them once I receive the Venmo I’ll put it on my porch for them to pick up anytime that day.

I’ve never had an issue with someone stealing thankfully.

I’d either take it as a lesson and move on since it was only $5, but also screenshot her profile and post it in selling groups and let people know she’s a thief and try and get her banned from groups

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_Perfect_Mistake_@reddit

This has been my experience mostly as well. I’ve sold hundreds of items on MP for over 6 years and only once did someone cheat me by paying with a counterfeit $20. I had several pickups in one day so I couldn’t determine who it was. I was mad but one out of all those food experiences didn’t deter me from selling. Anything over $40 I meet in person.

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iaminabox@reddit

Health-enrollment.com is your answer. Signed her up and the phone calls will never stop.

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declinedinaction@reddit

You can make an arrangement to buy something from her marketplace, and ask her to leave it on the porch. See what happens.

Or pick it up and give her five dollars less and say now or even .

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_Perfect_Mistake_@reddit

This seems like the obvious answer.

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Plane_Reference8896@reddit

Oh yeah, the reverse porch pickup. ,"Buy something if hers, and"porch pick it the fuck up" with no money. See how she feels. I will bottle revenge

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TheNinjaPixie@reddit

I dont have fb but is there an option to warn others about her?

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Whenwhateverworks@reddit

If you can get her phone number, and you have unlimited calls and text, copy-paste and text her shakespear's entire library of work. It will come through maybe 150 characters at a time for the next few weeks.

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Plane_Reference8896@reddit

I like the idea of just coming to collect the money or the shoes. It's one or the other lady. I also have pissdisks for sale. Porch pickup only. Terms apply.

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Plane_Reference8896@reddit

I'd wait till the middle of the night, dress in black, wear a hat and maybe a Walmart smock to throw them off. Park down the road. Then I'd buy skunk scented oil from Amazon and 'go to town' on her vehicle. I'd make me and the karma Gods laugha little harder. https://a.co/d/0QXU16H on Amazon The price for revenge might cost about 20 bucks but you never know who you're messing with.

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PhilMeUpBaby@reddit

Social embarrassment.

Tell anyone and everyone that she knows.

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throwRA_StraightDust@reddit (OP)

We live in different suburbs of the same large city and I only know her through facebook marketplace

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Morrigan66@reddit

There's one way to do this. Can you or your gf give her a bad rating on marketplace?? That would make it harder for her to sell and buy stuff.

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LuementalQueen@reddit

Tell the mods she's a thief using a fake name and give her real one. Attach proof. Or just post on a name and shame page with the info. You'll probably find other people have been fucked over too.

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Morrigan66@reddit

There's one way to do that. Can't you give her a bad rating on marketplace?? That would make it harder for her to sell and buy stuff.

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StarboardSeat@reddit

Name and shame!
Name and shame!
Name and shame!

gif

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Jazzydiva615@reddit

Fake sign her up for Meals on Wheels and leave food that's the opposite of what she eats- Vegetarian Soups and Veggies and Dented cans. Molded bread

You will pick up from a real pantry see how they operate learn a few names. Use Bankers Boxes put a couple signs up that read Pokémon Box C (at least two per box) You then print up official looking Meals for Wheels Sign with her first name No last name and just a door number and deliver personally to her door step.

Works best if you just dump off looking lost and say a generic Meals on Wheels and Jet Quick wear hat and official looking food pantry badge with big letters.Leave a small note inside box that says must retain box for future deliveries.

Ideally this lady will call the food pantry and complain that she eats meat, bread was moldy.

Next day delivery worst box with new sign - Pokémon Box F and have an angry son call the food pantry to complain. He needs to go hard on a recorded voice message and loudly leave his mom first name and address. For best results use basic bad boy of the Bible name.

Ideally the police will investigate and discover the boxes. You need to report boxes missing to someone (Ideally insurance or storage unit folks)

Wait for police to return empty boxes to you and let the insurance company handle the rest.

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ctrlaltdelete285@reddit

Just came across this :)

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pasternak1975@reddit

Not much can be done I'm afraid. Aways arrange collection and cash payment.

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57_Eucalyptusbreath@reddit

Might be worth giving her phone number as the point of contact for car engine parts. Due to “working until 10pm it would be best to call after 10:45pm”.

Then do the same thing eight days later say at 6am because they have an overnight shift off at 5a, with something else like tires or extra cases of motor oil.

It was five bucks she should have left that in an envelope w a rock on or something. So stupid.

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YoseppiTheGrey@reddit

Your gfs an idiot. That shit is gone

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Plenty-Run6061@reddit

Honestly, knock on her door. Not in a rude or confrontational way. Just knock on her door, smile and be overly nice. Say something like “all those night shifts must’ve messed up your sleep schedule that you forgot to venmo me”. Even if she doesn’t give it or closes the door it’ll be a lesson for her aswell that she needs to not play around, you and your girlfriend sound like you’re taking the high road but she’s lucky she didn’t do it to the wrong person. People are crazy and unpredictable.

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NeuronsAhead@reddit

The clear answer is to fuck her dad. All these ethical people saying to move on are forgetting what sub they’re in. Since it involves your gf, threesome with her dad.

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