Are you guys close with your cousins?

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CazzoNoise@reddit

Yes, on both sides. Dad's side get together once a year in Chicago for a weekend of food and drink.

Ma's side is in Italy so we facetime once a month and then alternate visits.

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BreezyBill@reddit

Some people call cousins “your first friends,” but I call them “strangers I recognize.”

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Yep! Both of my cousins are 20+ years older than me. My parents tried for 15 years before they finally got pregnant with me. I’ve met one cousin maybe 4-5 times in my life, and I’m closer in age to his kids than him.

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teacuperate@reddit

I saw a boy at my grandma’s third wedding (one divorced, one passed). I thought he was cute. Yep, cousins, just didn’t realize it until I saw the family he was standing with who I recognized a little more.

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Oomlotte99@reddit

Same. lol. I saw a cousin once out and about. We both locked eyes and kept moving with not a single attempt to interact, lol.

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Afromolukker_98@reddit

Lmao that's insane. I think if I saw ANY one of my cousins who I definitely recognize... I'd be forced to say hello because that's kinda disrespectful to not acknowledge. At the very least say "how's everything going?"

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Bright_Ices@reddit

I could walk right past a third of my cousins and never even notice.

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Slow_D-oh@reddit

Same. Out of the 7 (I think) cousins I have I would probably recognize two. Most of them I haven’t seen in decades and really only met them 2-3 times.

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Bright_Ices@reddit

My parents are both younger siblings in big families. I have 27 first cousins, all but three significantly older than I am. Several are as old as my parents. There are a couple of living cousins I’ve never met in all of my 43 years, and there are more I’ve only met once or twice. Growing up I saw my cousins once a year at best, and I had so little in common with most of them. It’s fun to see them from time to time, but I don’t really know them.

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Unspicy_Tuna@reddit

My dad is 82; I am 51. He has first cousins who are my age/ slightly younger than me.

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rottenbox@reddit

I work with brothers who have 50+ first cousins on one side (Dutch reformed have big families). They are each close with a couple of those but with all the various family rifts there are a bunch they barely know.

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Jorost@reddit

So could most people. 3rd cousins aren’t even covered by consanguinity laws (meaning they can marry). Third cousins share a set of great-great grandparents. That’s a looong time ago. For someone who is an adult today you could be talking about a connection going back to the Civil War era.

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Bright_Ices@reddit

I’m only talking about my 27 first cousins.

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Jorost@reddit

Oh haha. I misread that as you saying you could walk right past your third cousins and never even notice.

I have a ton of cousins, but they are almost all second cousins or first once or twice removed. Only two first cousins, one of whom was an affair baby of my uncle's and doesn't even know they are part of the family.

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Bright_Ices@reddit

Aha! I wondered why you made that leap. Makes sense now.

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Adorable_Dust3799@reddit

Same. And i only have 5

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MomRaccoon@reddit

And that is why I won't go into a Walmart with my husband because he will run into one of his 70 first cousins or even more second cousins and he'll talk to each of them for 20 minutes.!

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Afromolukker_98@reddit

😂😂

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Oomlotte99@reddit

My extended family is super dysfunctional and they aren’t nice people.

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parasyte_steve@reddit

My immediate family is super dysfunctional and so I never really hung out with my cousins bc our parents did not get along so I was kept away from them except for holidays... smh

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mostie2016@reddit

All of my cousins are old and live back in Indiana.

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Oomlotte99@reddit

Same. And in my instance the parents have filled the kids with a lot of toxicity, too.

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nymrod_@reddit

I don’t owe anyone respect just because we’re related by blood

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Afromolukker_98@reddit

I think its cultural. Cousins extended or close for my parents were community family members. They grew up with their cousins parents. I grew up with my cousins parents. Etc. If I didn't grew up with my cousins immediately family... i hear stories of how we are related and they the same.

Like even my 3rd cousins who share Great Grandparents, we know eachother. We talk about how our grandparents were siblings. And we recognize our relation. Even if one set is in Indonesia, one in the Netherlands, and another set here in USA.

But same can be said with my Black American family. Also know my grandfather's siblings' great grandchildren and their grandchildren. Im not crazy close, but we know of eachother enough to recognize eachother on the street for sure.

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Intelligent_Pop1173@reddit

Lmao I experienced this with a girl I worked with who was one of like 11 kids and had a huge family. We walked by someone at break and she casually goes “that was my cousin.” I was like “you guys didn’t even say hi!?” “Yeah we’re not that close.” “What happened?!” “Nothing.”

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TheReal-Chris@reddit

I only have one real cousin who I’ve never met because his piece of shit of a dad abandoned him young because he came out as gay. He got remarried to a woman who already had a daughter so I don’t really count that. I have a ton of distant like grandparents “cousins” though and most of us get along fine. My grandmother had 12 siblings, still alive and kicking in her 90s and was the youngest and my grandfather had 6.

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InannasPocket@reddit

My mom was one of 8 kids, most of them had multiple kids, most of whom now have kids of their own (and some of those kids are also starting to have kids!).

Plus plenty of divorces and remarriages, and in my family it doesn't matter if you were auntie L's kid from a previous relationship and L has subsequently been divorced from uncle B for a decade, she's still auntie and you're still a cousin and now so are auntie L's new step kids from her 3rd marriage.

I'm closer to some cousins than others and it's nothing to do with whether we actually share DNA (in some cases I'm actually not clear on the details, hard to keep track with so many).

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Adorable_Dust3799@reddit

Mine are over 500 miles away, we're not running into each other

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ApprehensiveBlock847@reddit

Yes, this. I am the oldest cousin by far on my mom's side and so didn't really grow up with my cousins. On my dad's side I only have one cousin in my age range and we didn't live near each other but we did hang out when they were around. So no I'm not close to any of my cousins, they truly are "strangers I recognize"

Funny enough the extended family member that I was closest to as a kid was actually an uncle who was only 4 years older than me and lived nearby. Until he hit puberty and started doing his own thing of course.

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microdosingrn@reddit

In Alabama, they're your first something else.

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IJustWantADragon21@reddit

I couldn’t pick mine out in a lineup. I don’t think I ever saw any of them after I turned 3 years old and my dad and his siblings went no contact.

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codefyre@reddit

but I call them “strangers I recognize."

Lol. I have a couple of cousins who I probably wouldn't recognize if I passed them on a sidewalk. My parents are part of a Boomer sibling group that all dislike each other. Once my grandparents died, they all went their own way and stopped trying. I have a couple of cousins who are 30-ish today that I haven't seen since we were in elementary school, and even the cousins I'm closer to are like "see them once every year or two" acquaintances.

It honestly kind of sucked for my generation. We have a big family, but everyone did their own solo thing.

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jquailJ36@reddit

You recognize them?

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BreezyBill@reddit

Well, tbh, they need to be together or I’m not 100% sure which is which.

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lorgskyegon@reddit

I barely even recognize mine. Almost all mine grew up on the East Coast, whereas my family lived in the West. I haven't seen any of them in person since my grandmother's funeral over 15 years ago.

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steely_92@reddit

I'm not even sure I would recognize all of them at this point. It's been over a decade since I've seen the cousins on my mom's side.

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WatermelonMachete43@reddit

None of my cousins have ever lived in the same state as I do. The one I am closest with lives about 1000 miles away. I last saw her in 2003.

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KingDarius89@reddit

Eh. Depends on the side of the family. And the cousin in particular.

Though that first friend thing still isn't accurate. I'm the youngest on my dad's side, with the next two youngest being a complete and utter p.o.s. a year older than me and the next being four years older than me. I'm the second youngest on my mom's side. The youngest is about 4 years younger than me and used to follow me and my friend around like a puppy when we were young, and I was too nice to tell him to fuck off, heh.

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SevenSixOne@reddit

I don't know that I would even say that, since I haven't seen any of them in at least a decade. No bad blood or anything, we are just not close geographically or emotionally

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geri73@reddit

That's how it is for me these days. We all hung out a lot back in the day. We had get-togethers, went to school together, bible study, church, and sleep-overs. Then one day we became adults, had children, and became strangers I recognize.

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minicpst@reddit

My family is both. My mom’s side I know my second and maybe some third cousins. I can tell you how the twice removed actually works. I chat with my first cousins monthly or so on zoom and of the six of we’re in five different states.

On my dad’s side I actually have a second cousin in town. We’ve met a couple times. Ran into them at the gym for our kids. Been a decade or more since I’ve seen them. I have one first cousin and if i saw him about and if I recognized him I’d turn around and walk the other way. He’s not evil, just an arrogant ass and has been since we were kids. I’ve seen him once in 25 years.

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CoachOpen1977@reddit

Yes, I’m very close with my 2 cousins on my mom’s side. They’re like my sisters that my parents never had. We hang out all the time. I have many cousins on my dads side but they all live far away and I haven’t seen them in 20+ years.

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penguinwasteland1414@reddit

My mom and I went to our cousins funeral. The next year, my mom died. Did his wife or the kids I grew up with come to mom's funeral? Nope. I told them all to fuck off and consider me dead to them.

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lamest-liz@reddit

Yes, my cousins were my only “family” in my eyes. I have 4 brothers but only personally knew one and he was abusive towards me. My cousins were like my best friends. Now that we are adults we barely see each other and it makes me sad

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The_Cereal_Man@reddit

I have one cousin and we’ve never met. Don’t even know her name

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emotionalaries@reddit

i never had first cousins, i wish i did. have a lot of cousins on my moms side but only were close with my second cousins once removed. used to spend the summers with us a lot. & now they are grown & have given me 3 lovely second cousins who i would kill for. almost 5, almost 3, & freshly 1. literlly my heart & soul outside my body.

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bookshelfie@reddit

Not close at all.

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saltysaturdays@reddit

I live in the same small state as them, but I’ll maybe see them twice a year

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Carob_Certain@reddit

Like siblings

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DannyChance13@reddit

As someone who is an Appalachian American, our cousins truly are our first friends. My family all lives relatively close to each other in a very small town, so I see all my 100+ cousins at least once or twice per year. And it’s like we never missed a beat. We hang out, drink beer, play music, and just do whatever good friends tend to do. lol My cousins, for the most part, are all real good people. We have a few shitbuzzards in the family, but 95% of em are awesome. lol

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Calm_Law_7858@reddit

Depends on the family, but in many cases we’re very close to our cousins. But I know people who were raised like siblings with their cousins, and some who don’t even know theirs.

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shelwood46@reddit

Age gap is also a factor. I am 18 years older than my youngest cousin, I used to babysit him. As a kid I was closer to the cousins my own age. But now we're both old and live closer than the others, so he's probably my closest cousin and I adore his wife, and I am watching their dog as they travel right this second.

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Yggdrasil-@reddit

Age gap is a huge factor. My parents' siblings all had their kids young, between about 1970-1985. Meanwhile, my parents had my sibling and I in 1995/1997. Growing up with a 10-20 year age gap with my cousins meant we weren't particularly close.

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FreckledAndVague@reddit

My dad is the 2nd youngest of 5. He had kids last (his younger brother had his first kid at 17, my aunts mostly around 19, and then my dad had me - the eldest bio kid - at 33). My cousins were all grown adults by the time I was sentient. Some of my cousins' kids were my age, but we weren't particularly close due to me growing up states away vs. they all lived near one another. We ended up adopting my 3rd cousin (my aunts kid's kid's kid) tho.

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nitrot150@reddit

This is roughly my family on my moms side, she was the baby by 9 years, then didn’t have me until later and her siblings and their kids all had kids early, so a lot of my first cousins once removed were the same age as me. I knew some fine, but we weren’t that close with that extra generational later. My dad’s side, closer in age, but we didn’t live anywhere near each other, so didn’t see them much …. So I’m not close to any of my cousins, and I’m an only.

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Free-Sherbet2206@reddit

Yep. My dad’s sisters got married at 17, 18, and 19 years old. He’s the baby and married at 30. Most of my cousins are at least 15 years older than me

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klimekam@reddit

Yep my dad was the youngest of 5 by a lot. So my cousins are a whole generation older than me.

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enancejividen@reddit

Right? The ones I was closest in age to are the ones I was closest to as a kid. But I'm probably closest to now is my youngest cousin (12 year age gap) and his wife because we have kids the same age and similar outlooks on life.

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cephalophile32@reddit

I’m an only child. I have three cousins (they are all siblings) and they are like my siblings - especially the two that are a year apart from me. I call their children my nephews :)

In the other side of my family there was a huge age difference between my dad and his siblings so those cousins were basically all already adults when I was born. I’ve met them maybe 3 times in my life.

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Fecapult@reddit

I have both of those, depending on the parent of the cousins in question.

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Jakanapes@reddit

I know I have cousins, but I couldn’t tell you any of their names or recognize them if I saw them.

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jda404@reddit

Pretty much same here. I have 2 cousins that live within 30 minutes of me, growing up I pretty much only saw them on holidays just wasn't that close with that side of the family. Now we're adults and I haven't seen or heard from them in years. Maybe they have moved honestly ha.

And I have distant cousins that live out of state that I haven't seen in decades and would not recognize them if I saw them and couldn't tell you their names.

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KingDarius89@reddit

I have five cousins on my mom's side. And like, eleven on my dad's, that I know of.

On my mom's side, I last saw four of them during my brother's wedding a few years ago (I live on the other side of the country). The other, I helped my aunt track down when her father died. She's largely cut contact with the family after her mother died. Last I heard, her husband just got his own church in Colorado (he's a Presbyterian minister that i remember somewhat fondly from when they were dating when I was little). She's also got like, six kids now.

My dad's, there's two that I occasionally still talk to. One that avoids me because he's a little chicken shit, one that I don't really have any interest in contacting, I didn't particularly like him even before he got busted for home invasions and ratted out his accomplices for a better deal. Though from what I understand (my dad talks to him), he's really turned his life around since then. Two that I haven't had any contact with in about 30 years. And five that I don't even remember ever meeting though I supposedly have, the daughters of one of the bigger assholes that my dad calls brother.

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AerHolder@reddit

I only have one first cousin. She was older than me, but we were pretty close growing up and as adults.

However, she went off the deep end of the Trump cult and I can't talk to her anymore. She's utterly full of hatred, bigotry, and racism now, and rarely pauses from vomiting it all whenever she talks. I simply couldn't stand it anymore and cut her out of my life.

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dontknowwhattomakeit@reddit

I have only two cousins. One is much younger than me and the other moved away. I used to spend a lot of time with the older of my two cousins because we (him, me, my siblings) are all close in age so we did grow up together. My other cousin, I see regularly but he’s about 12 years younger than me so it’s a different sort of relationship than with my other cousin.

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valentinakontrabida@reddit

on my mother’s side, i’m the oldest of 15 cousins at 28. surprisingly, i’m the closest to my cousins aged 16, 15, and 9. partly because 6 of the others live in another country. i call those 3 cousins probably once or twice a week. the others, only for birthdays/holidays.

idek how many cousins i have on my dad’s side. lots of them are illegitimate. since my dad isn’t close to his family aside from his 1 brother who lives in canada, i only talk to that uncle’s kids. but again, usually only for birthdays/holidays, though we did like to do visits and trips with them when i was younger.

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carefullychosjen@reddit

Very

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shey-they-bitch@reddit

I think it depends on the family, the ages, how many, where you live, and what culture your family has. I know people who regularly do cousins trips and others who don't even talk to them. I for example my cousin who's closet in age with me is 6 years younger than, we hung out a lot when we were both still kids, then there was a time where we didn't and know we talk a bit more because we are both adults. However, he is super close to a lot of his cousins on his dad side, but the difference is 1. He has boy cousins and 2. The girl cousins are close in age. Where I sometimes hang out and chat with my second cousins who I am close in age with.

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PacRimRod@reddit

As kids yes, but we all went out separate ways as adults and really don't stay in touch after my grandparents passed away, they were the link that kept us closer.

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Mikeseddit@reddit

When we were all little kids up to age 10, we lived a 45 minute drive from my brother sister‘s family and my mother’s brother‘s family. I never understood why, but we only ever saw them once or twice a year. Parents were very busy I guess.

Meanwhile, the family I married into, at the same time, we’re always busy visiting each other three or four times a year. They are the greatest collection of wonderful, healthy, happy people I have ever known and I’m thrilled to have married into this family. When any of the 10 of these cousins from three families got married, all the cousins would show up, crossing the country if they had to. By the time I came along and all the kids in the next generation were getting married, most of the cousins and their kids would make it to the wedding too.

My brothers and I have gotten very friendly and familiar with my mother‘s brother‘s kids and visit when we can, but it hasn’t happened with my father‘s sister‘s kids except very rarely and then we feel like we don’t have much in common.

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princessaurus_rex@reddit

I’m not even close with my siblings. Haven’t seen any of my cousins in almost 20 years.

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not_a_expert69@reddit

I have 1 I’m close with which is my only cousin on my moms side

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NoWastegate@reddit

I have none. No aunts or uncles either. Both parents were only children.

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rach1874@reddit

I’ve got a ton of cousins. However I only have a few I’m close to. I’ve got the cousin I’m closest to, we were each others MOH and are very consistently close and in touch. She’s four years younger than me. Then I have one male cousin who is as my family calls it “Rach and Matt are two peas in a pod they’re the same!” Even though we are a decade apart in age. He’s older.

But I do remember the nineties were very different than now. We spent so much time together as a family and now it’s reserved for special occasions. As I’m getting older my cousins and I realize that’s on us to plan things so we are doing that. But I remember growing up our family farm had houses for all five of my mom’s siblings and we spent long summers together. Lots of making blanket forts in the living room for movie nights, swimming in the pool or the cool springs, hiking, playing, fireworks, gardening on the farm. So the original 10 grandkids (not their kids generation) are residual close. Meaning we might not see each other every year but when we get together we have this lifelong connection. It feels good.

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Watching_Miku@reddit

I do know my cousins well when I was younger but we slowly drifted apart due to the age gaps (most had graduated when I was 7)

But I think it's different depending on the family and the age between them

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Weekly-Aide-7719@reddit

Closer now that we’re adults. Despite living states apart, we visit one another and travel together. We’re delighted that our husbands have become good friends.

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Icy_Gas_802@reddit

It varies quite a bit from family to family. I’m quite close with my cousins on my mother’s side, but not as much with those on my fathers. It really seems to depend on how close the siblings who became the uncles, aunts, and in-laws are

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Ok_Concentrate4461@reddit

I’m pretty close with one of them, basically a friendly acquaintance with one, and the other three I haven’t seen in at least 20 years

My kids, however, are very close with their cousins. My nieces are both just a few months younger than each of my kids, and the four of them have hung out a lot together their whole lives.

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Sea-Ad-5974@reddit

One is like 14-16 years older than me, and the other one is only five-ish years older but she so irresponsible and immature at times I tend to not hang around her.

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Medical_Revenue4703@reddit

I used to be. When we were kids it was a lot easier to stay in touch. Now that my cousins have wives and kids they've gotten a little screwy and harder to be aroud.

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Dull-Geologist-8204@reddit

No but I was the black sheep in my family. It's also a very cultural thing in the US. I have friends that are close to their cousins.

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Rare-Kaleidoscope359@reddit

Nope.

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RainyDayz876@reddit

I have 4 cousins on my dad's side who I see every 5 years or so, and I have 2 cousins on my mom's side who I haven't heard from in 15 years.

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Elivagara@reddit

Not in the least. Haven't met most. Im not even close with my siblings (merged families, age differences, so I haven't seen in decades with no intention to change that). I don't even have a clue how many nieces and nephews I have, let alone cousins. My immediate family moved all over the country growing up, we were never anywhere near family to get to know them.

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foilrat@reddit

No.

We can get together, hang out, and chat just fine, but we aren't close.

Hell, my closest cousin is about 900 miles away...

We are scattered across the globe, so we don't get together that often.

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SRQmoviemaker@reddit

When we were kids we spent a lot of time together, now that everyone's grown and most are married with kids we dont see each other as often.

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lorienne22@reddit

Family culture differs from house to house in the US.

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j_grouchy@reddit

I have one cousin and I have not seen him in almost 40 years.

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FairyGodmothersUnion@reddit

My cousins and I love each other and enjoy being in each other’s company, but many of us live far away from one another. When we are together, we have a great time.

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shadowmib@reddit

I barely know my cousin Stan's and I can't even remember the last time I seen one of them

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Diesel07012012@reddit

No.

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danzerpanzer@reddit

It varies. Two cousins who spent every summer with us growing up are almost like siblings, others are like friends, and a few others are strangers.

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strawbeebop@reddit

Nope. We don't talk to anyone on my dad's side of the family. One my mom's side, we only really talk to one of her sisters families. They're all nice people, but those cousins are at least 15 years older than me, plus we grew up in different states. I only saw them once every few years, and I was scared of them when I did see them because we were practically strangers and I was a "shy" kid (I have chronic genetic anxiety).

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ntnlwyn@reddit

i barely think about my cousins. They live on the opposite side of the country. I know them pretty well but I don’t bend my back for them.

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Such-Mountain-6316@reddit

No. The rift dates back two generations. We've all had separate lives because of it. I wish it wasn't so but I tried to catch up and only ended up understanding why. It was so deep that my mom didn't even realize we were related until she was a teen and someone died. But I learned that there's a reason.

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Signal-Anxiety3131@reddit

I only have two first cousins and they moved about 2000 miles away when I was 9. I always wished they lived closer. I'm in touch with both of them, but haven't seen one of them for 25 years or so.

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neoslith@reddit

I only have three first cousins. My father has three sisters and none of them had children. My mom's sister has three.

Anyway, we were a lot closer growing up; I'd visit them every time there was a long vacation for sleep overs. But once we got older into high school and college, we didn't have those freedoms any more. They live maybe 30 miles away, it's about a 45 minute drive.

Even with social media and cell phones they're horrible about getting back to me or just super busy trying to navigate adult life.

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enstillhet@reddit

Some of them, yes. Very close. Others I barely know.

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KikiCorwin@reddit

Depends on where people live. Those that lived close by, yeah, we were close growing up. Those we only saw a few times a year, not so much.

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lorazepamproblems@reddit

I lived thousands of miles away from all of them and all extended family due my parents . . . I don't know.

They certainly didn't keep moving for money, but they always followed their bliss, somehow blissfully unaware that they had children who might have you know wanted to grow up near grandparents, cousins, or other normal stuff. People talk about what you give up having kids. They didn't give those things up.

My childhood memories of the "fun times" are things like sitting on the floor of the Carl Sandburg museum. I can never get over how other parents planned things their kids would want to do.

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Mental_Internal539@reddit

I try to meet up with my closest cousin once a month to every other month, doesn't always work out but we try to hang out.

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Normal_Occasion_8280@reddit

We're not allowed to make babies with then like Pakistanis do.

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Drew707@reddit

Really depends on the cousin. Out of our 9 cousins, my sister and I are in agreement that most are fine, one would be a lot better if he wasn't such a douche, and one we wouldn't care if he was launched into the DPRK by a rail gun. Realistically, we have a second cousin we are closer to than many of our firsts. Growing up we were all close and would have a great time hanging out at our grandparents' in the summer and birthday sleepovers, but as we got older, things changed. People change.

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seanx40@reddit

Don't have any

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amigammon@reddit

No. I barely know them.

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diduknowtrex@reddit

Yes and no. I have a cousin I live near and see once every few weeks. We hangout, we have dinner, she came to my bachelorette, etc. We consider each other friends, as well as family.

I have other cousins I see once or twice a year. It’s always fun and familiar, but we don’t talk outside of family events.

And then I have cousins I do not speak to at all for one reason or another.

I come from a large-ish family though. So I have 10 first cousins and around 30+ second and first cousins once removed.

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bananabuckette@reddit

My cousins are so much older than me but they are close with each other, I’m included of course we just weren’t raised together they were in middle school/ high school when I was born

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GreenBeanTM@reddit

When I was little yes, me and 2 of my older cousins would go skating together sometimes, and hanging out with a 3rd older cousin at my grandparents house wasn’t uncommon. Skating stopped around when they went to college, 3rd at grandparents was always just sort of by chance.

In general when I was younger our extended family had a lot of get togethers, Easter dinner in the spring, my grandparents birthdays and often one other cookout in the summer, thanksgiving in the fall, and Christmas Eve/our own Christmas not on the 25th in winter, but as I got older family drama started growing so those started becoming fewer until they eventually stopped.

I’m still emotionally close with my cousins, but I really only occasionally interact with them online on the rare times I log onto Facebook. Last time I saw any of them in person was when the 3rd I mentioned got married a couple of months ago, and I hadn’t seen one of them in like 5 years at that point.

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annaliese_sora@reddit

I’m very close to the cousins on one side of my family, we are more like siblings. The cousins on the other side of my family are what I call “polite strangers.” I feel this is reflective of my parents’ own bonds with their siblings. My Dad and his siblings are very close, but my Mom and her siblings are less so.

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spring13@reddit

Yes, but we don't see each other nearly as often as we'd like. Getting together with cousins was one of my favorite things as a kid even though we only did it a couple of times a year, and now I see some of them more often than others. I care about my kids knowing and liking their cousins now too.

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DiaphanousWings1@reddit

I have no cousins! I’m jealous. But back in our grandparents’ and great grandparents’ day, they would know their 2nd and 3rd cousins and beyond and address them as “cousin” Agnes, etc., no matter how distant. Especially if their family was wealthy and they thought they were “prominent” (in their city) and therefore being cousins was extremely important. One could marry a “cousin” and it was ok because they were barely related and also desirable because they were of the same social class. My elderly aunt refers to cousins whom I’ve never heard of and wouldn’t know of unless I saw an extended family tree. This was in the U.S., I’m curious if this was a thing years ago (or currently) in other countries?

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opshleen@reddit

For me no. But mine and my brothers daughters are super close.

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Ill_Play2762@reddit

My cousins are all close with each other but I’m not close with any of them.

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TheresaB112@reddit

I have some cousins I am close with, some cousins I only see at family functions and 2 cousins I’ve never met.

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ArtisticAsylum@reddit

I love my cousins! Unfortunately I live a couple thousand miles away. We have a group chat and see each other about every 3-5 yrs. Lots of happy hugs when we can all see each other in person. My husbands family is very close as well. Even though they’re miles apart, everyone comes here for Thanksgiving every year, and birthdays through the year.

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Suppafly@reddit

Depends on the family.

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Tedanty@reddit

Depends, I was very close with my cousins growing up because we all lived in the same house. As adults we have drifted apart, especially because they live all over the country and in the US, they could mean several days worth of driving to see a person.

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Thalassinon@reddit

All of my cousins lived out of state, and it will vary by the family how much effort is made to bring everyone together. My dad's side of the family was always regular about scheduling get-togethers, but my Mom's side of the family was very casual and they rarely met up. I never saw my cousins more than once a year or so, even on my dad's side, due to physical distance, but there was a summer when one of my cousins stayed with my family for the entire summer before going back.

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SheenPSU@reddit

On my moms side, yes very. On my dad’s side, not at all.

Different family dynamics at play here

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RightToTheThighs@reddit

I don't think this is a cultural thing, just depends on how far away you are. My cousins grew up 700km from me, so I'm not very close to them. But some of my friends have cousins in the next town over and they see each other and talk relatively frequently

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TheSadMarketer@reddit

Not really, no. I haven’t really seen mine since I was a kid.

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Tygrkatt@reddit

In general (and I don't think this is a US only thing) I think physical closeness is a big factor in determining relationship closeness. I'm not especially close to any of my cousins. I've never lived in the same state as any of them, let alone the same town. I had one first cousin I literally did not meet face to face until I was like 30 and only ever saw that once. But we lived on opposite sides of the country so it's really not all that surprising.

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Chance-Business@reddit

We are not because we grew up very very far away from them, over 2000 miles away. Because america is just so big. However, our cousins all grew up in the same area with each other and they are all very very close. So my siblings and I are the ones that were isolated and we ended up not close to any of them, but the rest of my cousins are close with each other but not us.

My nieces and nephews who are cousins to each other, the children of my siblings, they are all very close, but they all live within an hour of each other. However they are unfamiliar with our extended family who all live still 2000 miles away up to today.

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thebudman_420@reddit

I used to have a closer relationships with most of my first cousins because i seen them often. My mothers brothers children. There has been times some of them lived with us and they came here often. I still see them holidays at grandmas. Rare they do stop by over here if they are out this way and are going to go kayaking and at least another time for a memorial of my uncles woman who passed away who is my cousins mother but not all my cousins mother because the others are from other uncles. My mother has 4 brothers.

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PremeTeamTX@reddit

Yea, for the most part, when we were all growing up (at least as far as my cousins in Texas and Mississippi went). Once we started growing up, we just sorta went our separate ways unless there's some sort of emergency. I only talk to one of my 15 cousins on a weekly basis nowadays.

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TricellCEO@reddit

It varies entirely on which aunt/uncle they are from.

Any and all cousins on my dad's side I was never close with. My dad was the youngest of his siblings, so there was only one cousin my age, and we didn't get along (to the point where my mom genuinely thought there was something wrong with him).

My mom's side is a solid mix:

I am closest with her younger brother's family, though I will say those cousins are closer to the cousins on their mother's side...funny how that works out, right? Still, we have gone on vacations with them, and the holidays are typically hosted at their place.
My mom's older brother though, I've only ever seen those cousins every now and then, though lately we have been a bit closer with one of them having a baby. The oldest of this group of cousins has gone MIA/NC (i.e. she kinda vanished for a bit, and when she was briefly contacted, she made it clear she wanted nothing to do with her family).
My mom's only sister has also gone MIA/NC, so I haven't been in touch with her kids in quite some time.

Now, if you think that's complicated, lemme introduce you to how I have been to family parties with second cousins on the occasion. My late maternal grandma was one of five girls, and my mom and her extended family were rather close growing up, so we still see and hear from everyone else every now and then. In fact, when we held my grandma's memorial service, a lot of them showed up, and then when one of my great aunts turned 80, her son had reservations for everyone at a well-known German restaurant (all five girls were from Germany). Also, last Christmas was spent at one of my mom's cousin's house.

It was a little funny though at the memorial service. One of my mom's college friends (whom I am very close with) showed up to pay her respects, and she asked if I knew any of the extended-extended family. My response was, "I know they exist."

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GreenTravelBadger@reddit

I saw cousins regularly, but then we all grew up and went on our separate ways. They were/are nice enough people, I remained in touch with a few of them. But I don't get misty over them, they are simply people I knew growing up.

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ca77ywumpus@reddit

Mine is similar, we were a pack when we were kids, and now we're spread out all over the country. When we do manage to get together, it's like we're teenagers again. Same inside jokes and goofing around except that there are also kids to teach our shenanigans to.

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kaik1914@reddit

I have never met a few cousins. I do not know their names, how they look, etc.

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SumStupidPunkk@reddit

I used to be. Literally grew up in the same household with some, others just a few streets down.

On one side of the family, our grandma passed and literally the entire family just split; she was the only glue holding us together. Honestly I was more upset about her passing than anyone else's because I knew her death meant the death of the family. We all live with several hours of each other, but never see one another or even talk.

My other side, everyone moves away. Like, literally all across the country, I'm one of the few staying in California. Once you move away and start families, you rarely come back for family gatherings.

It's kind of sad. But it's life.

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JustAnotherUser8432@reddit

It’s really family dependent. If your parent is close with their siblings and you live close by and see each other a lot, people can definitely be as close to cousins as to another sibling. My own cousins lived by each other, went to the same school and church and hung out a lot because their moms (my aunts) enjoyed hanging out together. As adults, the cousins of those aunts are still close to each other . My dad was their brother and we saw them for holidays and birthdays but I went to a different school and lived across town so didn’t see them as often. As adults I hadn’t seen or spoken to any of them in 15 years until an uncle died and I saw them at a funeral. My dad’s youngest sister moved several states away before I was born and I have met her two kids exactly twice in my life.

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Browsing4Ever1@reddit

My parents had children younger than their siblings so I’m 9 and 10 years older than my closest cousins on either side. We get along fine but we’re not close. We also never lived in the same state or even country as most of my cousins.

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redditer-56448@reddit

Not really. My cousins all grew up 2 to 2½ hours away, so I only saw them 3-4 times a year. As an adult, though, my one cousin & I still write letters like we've done since we were teenagers. We usually get 1-2 a month, and it is the main form of our communication.

My kids, however, have all 6 of their cousins within 15 minutes & we see each other 2-3 times a month (busy schedules).

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notabadkid92@reddit

Pretty good! We don't see each other as much as we'd like to but we feel close.

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qualified_alienist@reddit

I used to be really close to my cousins. Then after covid, one of them became an anti-vaxxer , ridiculously religious and married a Street Preacher who thinks Halloween is the devil's work.

I am no longer close to these cousins after 50 years.

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PinkRoseCarousel@reddit

All my cousins were at least 10 years younger than me, so I was never close to any of them.

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majesticrhyhorn@reddit

I’m quite close to my cousins! That includes first cousins, second cousins, my parents’ cousins, and cousins that aren’t even related (mom’s best friend’s kids, grandma’s adopted niece/nephew’s kids, etc.)

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Hatweed@reddit

Yes.

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A_Scav_Man@reddit

I borderline hate my cousins.

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creamalamode@reddit

Depends on the family. For starters, I'm not as close as some people are to their siblings as I am to mine, but we're on great terms. We're just both super independent in our own rights, I guess.

I've only seen one cousin on my mom's side in the past, idk year maybe, when our grandmother passed. My other cousin hasn't spoken to me in years, and I was a little hurt not knowing they got married. We weren't extremely close, anyway.

My cousins on my dad's side have since moved away from where we live. I really don't keep up with them as much as I'd like to, but I still care for them dearly.

I really only keep up with family that I see often. Everything else I just hear about through the grapevine.

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Glittersparkles7@reddit

When I was little and as young adults, yes. We were super close.

As older adults we disagree about human rights, whether racism is ok, and whether the earth is flat/ certain politicians are lizard aliens walking around in people suits. So I don’t really talk to them anymore.

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RevolutionaryRow1208@reddit

I was close with a couple of my cousins growing up, but everyone ultimately moves away to different places. I still see one of my cousins a few times per year...another I haven't seen in probably 10 years and I have a few cousins I haven't seen in 30 years probably and I doubt I'd even recognize them.

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sorrowNsuffering@reddit

No unfortunately. I would love to have family but it’s not in my cards.

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Avg_Sun_Enjoyer69@reddit

We were closer when we were all younger, we text every now and then.

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The_Archer2121@reddit

Not really.

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HandsOnDaddy@reddit

I legitimately would not recognize or be able to pick out most of my first cousins from a lineup, there are several I have never met and dont even know their names, honestly I couldnt even say with any real confidence what the number of cousins I have closer than about plus or minus 5.

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PhysicsEagle@reddit

I dislike my cousins

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SheShelley@reddit

I have only one cousin who is a year and a half older than I am. He’s like the big brother I never had.

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lupuscapabilis@reddit

Very much so. I just spent the weekend away with my cousins

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Jdawn82@reddit

I’m close with one of my first cousins (we were best friends growing up) and a couple of my third cousins who were also college friends.

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concrete_isnt_cement@reddit

I have a small family, only five cousins and three step-cousins. I’m close with most, but not all of them. Just went on a fishing trip with several of them a couple weeks ago!

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justa__watcher@reddit

I have nothing in common with my cousins. On one side they are snobs and nasty. On the other, they are just mean and snobs. I wish I had just one that was nice , had something in common but after many years ... never going to happen.

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Unspicy_Tuna@reddit

Not close at all. I have one cousin who has to be around age 40 now whom I’ve never even met.

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Objective_Bar_5420@reddit

Folks don't always appreciate how much Americans move around. Esp. in the western states. My immediate family moved something like twenty times while I was growing up. I saw cousins once in a while if we were living near them. That's it. I've kept track of them on facebook and visit a few, but mostly I don't see them.

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DesignByChance@reddit

I am really close to my cousins on my mother’s side even though they live 10 hours away. We talk often and visit each other as much as we can. When I go to where they all live (where my mother grew up) I feel like I am going home. I can’t imagine not having them in my life.

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SpiritOfDearborn@reddit

Nope

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45babycakes@reddit

When we were younger all the time. As soon as we entered adulthood nope don't even know what # wife or husband they are on and what their kids' names are.

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kristen912@reddit

We were close when we were all kids. Now, I rarely see them so I feel like I don't really know them. But I still love them. Recently went out of town to where my cousin moved so we met up for dinner and drinks but I probably wouldn't do that for all of them.

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Altruistic-Fix-684@reddit

I was close with my cousins growing up, and still see most of them at least once a year, even though we're widely scattered. But this varies a great deal by family.

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pikkdogs@reddit

It greatly depends on the family.

My son has cousins close in age. My closest cousin lived 9 hours away and was like 30 years older than me.

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ham_solo@reddit

No, but my cousins are a good decade older than me, On my father's side, one is dead from an overdose. On my mother's side, I grew up on the other side of the country and barely saw them except at their father's funeral and the occasional wedding. I have tried reaching out in the past, but they don't want to connect. I'm not sure the exact reason why, but they largely abandoned the family after their dad passed.

Weirdly my Mom's nephew and I look almost exactly alike, and family always mention it. I think of as, "well, Jay doesn't want to see us, but I'm here!"

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BlueProcess@reddit

Nope, not really. Family scattered to the wind on both sides.

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minidog8@reddit

No. None of my cousins have ever lived in the same state as me. I have one “cousin” who I was besties with as a kid, we aren’t blood related. (Her mom is my not-related aunt’s sister) We were close because she and her parents lived with me and my parents for a couple of years. I don’t have any contact with her anymore, and her mom is really looney (libertarian MAGA MLM girl boss hybrid for the Americans reading). I have a lot of other cousins but never lived near them.

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pinballrepair@reddit

Not really but they are 12-20 years old than me and the younger ones live far away :/

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mvuanzuri@reddit

I'm close with some of my cousins - the ones I grew up in physical proximity to - and speak to them semi-regularly. Others are less of a fixture in my life, but I'm always glad to catch up or hear news of them.

I also have a LOT of cousins. My mom is one of 14, and my dad is one of 6. So the extended family is large, and I couldn't be close to all of them even if I wanted to.

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RelativelyRidiculous@reddit

From what I've seen if you live near each other you probably grow up spending at least some time with your cousins. I grew up close to my cousins who were close to my age.

I'm the oldest child of the oldest child of the oldest child on both sides. That meant the children of my parents' aunts and uncles were the ones closest to my age.

My actual aunts and uncles were all still in school when I was starting school. The nearest cousin in my generation is 10 years younger than I on one side and 14 on the other. If my aunts and uncles had had children near my age we would have grown up together.

My younger siblings are 10 and 15 years younger than I. They did not grow up close to our cousins mostly because by the time they started school we lived 1200 miles distant from the family farm. Like a lot of Americans we moved so my parents could find better jobs.

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Arkhamina@reddit

Nope. I wish I was - as I have a very small family, but one drank Trump's Koolaid, and another is the embodiment of transactional human. He only wants to touch base when he needs something, normally money. His grandpa utterly spoiled him so he has no skills with money at all, and zero impulse control.

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Kielbasa_Nunchucka@reddit

when we were young, yeah... I haven't seen them in prob a decade now

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Livvylove@reddit

Not really, it's sad because once they became adults they became really terrible at keeping in touch so I just dropped the rope with them. After awhile I just stop reaching out with anyone if I'm always the one first reaching out

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BabaMouse@reddit

About 1500 miles. Not that close 😉

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lionhearted318@reddit

Grew up in an Italian family so yes, incredibly close. We regularly have large family gatherings where I hang out with family as distant as third cousins.

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Ok-Growth4613@reddit

Absolutely not. I see them maybe once a year or if someone dies. We will walk right past each other at Christmas dinner and not even look at each other.

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ATLDeepCreeker@reddit

My wife has 54 first cousins. She (and I) are close with a few, but see all of them at least 3-4 times a year. She also talks with most of them at least once every couple of months.

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Excellent_Speech_901@reddit

I have one less than 500 miles away who I saw as recently as 2018. The others are farther in both time and space. So, I guess that's a no.

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jmt85@reddit

We’re all spread out in different states, an occidental message on ig here and there but that’s it

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Eric_J_Pierce@reddit

I'm in SoCal

I have 18 cousins between here and NJ.

I have zero contact with any.

Two are very active on Fcbk, almost seems like I live next door to 'em, not 1700 miles away.

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violet-pixel@reddit

Grew up close to my cousins, but the older I got the more I realized I had nothing in common with any of them.

One of my cousins recently had two of her young children die suddenly, and we were all there for the funeral but that’s the only time I’ve actually seen them all in years.

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pedestrianstripes@reddit

I didn't grow up with my cousins because my dad was in the military. We moved around when I was a kid. I visited family almost yearly though. I know who my cousins are, but can't name their children. I chat off and on with my cousins.

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ElectroLuxImbroglio@reddit

I'm 62 and my generation were close with our cousins. I still am with some of them. My neices and nephews that are in their 20s, don't seem to be though.

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jderflinger@reddit

I grew up with them but we all kind of moved in different directions as we have gotten older, while we used to stay connected, we do not as much as we used to.

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VulpineWelder5@reddit

I have two cousins who live less than 20 minutes away, and another two less than 40 minutes away. I've asked repeatedly about spending time and hanging out over the years, but I can count on one hand how many times I've seen them, and half of that was out in public.

Unless you're worth their time, they ain't gonna find the time.

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missxmeow@reddit

Half of my family I saw multiple times a week because we went to school together, the other half lived farther away so we only really saw them for holidays, and this camping trip we took every fall. Also had sleepovers with a few of my cousins. I’m friendly with all of them, but closer to some more than others, like my cousin who was a year ahead of me in school.

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Dry-Potential-7945@reddit

It depends on families, my mom's side, me and my cousins were practically raised as siblings, we have lived next to each other, with each other, and in different towns and we still hung out all the time. Now that we're adults doing our own things we don't really talk or hang out that much but it's nit awkward or anything when we do see each other.

My (step)dad's side of the family though, I've come face to face and talked to those cousins at work or somewhere else and we acted like we've never met before in our lives lmao

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BeatingsGalore@reddit

I have like 40 of them. No

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Moni6674@reddit

Yes , I’m friends with them and still see them on holidays etc.

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Parking_Champion_740@reddit

I don’t have any, but I know lots of people who are close to their cousins

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doesshechokeforcoke@reddit

For most of my childhood I didn’t have any cousins because both my parents were only children. When I was 16 my mom found out she had an older half brother who had two kids but they were both in their 30’s at the time. I did always wish I had cousins growing up though.

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Straxicus2@reddit

It depends on the family and the size of the family. I have a very large family room on both my mom and dads sides. I see one cousin or another at least once a week. We have monthly family lunches, twice a year bbqs, and all holidays.

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GMoney_151@reddit

I have tight relationships with my cousins. We grew up with most part of the summers at grandma's. Our parents are close. We are in each other's weddings. We try to Vacation each summer or every other summer. It's something our grandma put in us since we were tiny. Family reunions keep our structure tight with all of the family.

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Shade_Hills@reddit

Yeah, in fact our parents told us we were siblings and we didnt question it for years 💀

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swampy138@reddit

Yeah we see them on holidays or for a yearly family campout. Some of them I didn’t know they had kids or got married. I actually live with one of my cousins (from the camp out side of the family), but we honestly don’t see each other that often 😂 I’m gone before he wakes up and usually home after he’s asleep or I’m asleep before he gets home.

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im-not-a-panda@reddit

My spouse grew up with his cousins like they were brothers. They were always at each other’s houses. Me, in the other hand, I think I’ve seen my cousins a dozen times in my life. We’re Facebook friends but I don’t think I’d recognize them.

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Gmschaafs@reddit

On my mom’s side? they definitely aren’t my best friends but I like to know what’s going on with them and enjoy their company. On my dad’s side? I can honestly say I hardly know them and probably wouldn’t recognize some of them if we ran into each other.

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RockStar5132@reddit

I don’t think I’ve seen any of my cousins since 2007. One if them the last time I talked to them even on the phone was in like June of 2000

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Beginning_Cap_8614@reddit

Similar to yours. When I was a kid my cousins were my best friends. Sometimes my aunt would walk into the living room and realize I was there, then call for my cousin. (Walking into someone's home without permission is illegal and a huge cultural taboo unless you're extremely close.) Unfortunately we've drifted apart as we've grown up, but we get together for Thanksgiving. (One of my cousins actually went on vacation with us last summer.)

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DooficusIdjit@reddit

They’re like siblings to me.

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Free-Sherbet2206@reddit

Not really. Most of my cousins are 15-20 years older than me

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Taz9093@reddit

I don’t like most of them. We only interact when there’s a funeral.

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TaigaTheLitten@reddit

Nope

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MerryWannaRedux@reddit

I'm a septuagenarian and I haven't seen my cousins since I was 15.

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SimpleAd1604@reddit

I have about 10 first cousins. I’ met eight of them once (when I was four years old), and two of them twice,

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barr65@reddit

Some yes,others not so much

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badtowergirl@reddit

I was extremely close to my cousins growing up. We see each other now, but less often. My kids are separated by far distances (west & east coast) from their cousins, but spend 1-2 weeks with them as often as possible, about once per year. One of my kids’ graduation gifts was plane tickets to each one of his cousins.

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Halloqween@reddit

One of my cousins is 4 months younger than me and we are best friends. I’m closer to her than my sister.

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Dystopic_Panda@reddit

I grew up with my cousins. I went to school with them, we had sleepovers, played sports together. Really like close friends, especially 2 of them that were near my age. After becoming an adult though, never really have seen them except at a couple of weddings, and it's not a close relationship at all. It would be weird if I called them to do something.

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ashbertollini@reddit

This is definitely a reigonal/socioeconomic thing here. Like here in the south you see very large families that are very close but its dying in a lot of areas largely due to a big movement of generational curse breaking where the new adults are refusing to look the other way just because someone is family.

I came from one of these families (5 siblings) our kids spend a ton of time together but its definitely different for them than it was for my siblings and I

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Pernicious_Possum@reddit

I’m not. Navy brat. Never lived close to any extended family. I do know a fair amount of people that are though. Like always, the answer is that we’re not a monolith. Things vary quite a bit from state to state, and even rural V. city within states. So weird people ask such vague questions on this sub

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NotTurtleEnough@reddit

My cousins lived in Colorado, California, Arizona, Virginia, Michigan, and Alabama. Hard to get close to people who live so far away.

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Dazzling-Climate-318@reddit

I have had no contact with my cousins for upwards of 50 years, currently email only contact about once a year. My child had contact with some of there cousins growing up regularly and some not much at all and while invited to one’s wedding recently, will not be attending due to a no children rule. They didn’t attend one close cousins wedding last year, but did another’s about a decade ago.

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JustafanIV@reddit

Very close. More coincidentally than anything, me and three of my cousins all started having children around the same time and live within a 50 min. drive of each other, so we visit a lot so our kids can play together.

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theflyinghillbilly2@reddit

I only had my cousins to play with, growing up. We lived very rural. We got up to all kinds of shenanigans!

I’m glad my kids have gotten to spend a lot of time with their cousins. My husband’s family all lives nearby now, and there’s nine kids between 21 and nine. I love watching them interact.

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EloquentRacer92@reddit

I see my cousins on most years, on a year I do see them I usually see them once or twice.

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Disastrous-Screen337@reddit

Not anymore.

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Few-Reception-4939@reddit

Yes. I saw them a lot and even went to high school with two of my cousins. There are 11 of us in this generation. Now everyone is split up around the country but we keep in touch with Facebook.

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Many_Pea_9117@reddit

Im white and dont ever talk to my cousins, but my wife has close, sibling-esque relationships with her cousins. Her parents immigrated here from Vietnam. I LOVE having a big family with her. We spend so much time out of the year hanging with her extended family. Its super fun for me. I def want to try and maintain close relationships with my brother and sisters so our kids can also have this. Everyone should be nicer and have closer family relationships.

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cornbreadkillua@reddit

Depends on your culture and your family specifically. My closest cousins like 2.5 hours away. My farthest are 16 hours away. I see the closer ones for holidays and birthdays, and we’ve been on vacation together once. Then I have one set of cousins (the farthest away) who I see many once every 2-3 years. Then a set who I’ve maybe 3-4x my entire life and two sets I’ve never even met before.

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Avbitten@reddit

we are instant best friends when our families are together and dont contact each other when apart lol.

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terrya1964@reddit

I have lots of cousins but have never lived close to any of them, the closest ones are about 700 miles away.

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Pigglywiggly23@reddit

I love my cousins but they are younger than my brother and me. I'm the oldest of seven cousins, and I was 12 when the first one was born. My son is only two years younger than my youngest cousin. So, because of that, we didn't really hang out when we were kids, but we all get along great now, we're just not overly close.

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No_Today_4903@reddit

I have zero first cousins. 3 aunts, 1 uncle and none had children. My dad has over 100 first cousins and my mom has close to 50?

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Unpopularwaffle@reddit

Depends on the family. Personally, I'm not close to any of mine. Nor is my spouse.

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CremeDeLaCupcake@reddit

I mean I know my cousin's pretty well, at least my maternal cousins cause I don't have nearly as many to keep track of compared to my numerous paternal cousins. I have 1 that I'd consider the kind that I can call or go to anytime. And for the most part I can rely on any of them if I needed something or if they needed something from me. But we're also not really so close as to call each other "friends". We've got our own lives and live fairly good distances from each other. I think there is still a slight awkwardness maybe cause we think we are supposed to be automatic friends but we don't know each other all that well in a real way. We have seen each other often enough throughout our lives to get to know each other, but consistent contact is different than like a deep genuine bond. So I don't know, maybe we are like "special aquantainces" or something.

My experience seems relatively common amongst my peers too, but I know some who are quite close with their cousins and some who don't know their cousins names or didn't learn of their existence until years into their lives

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icyspeaker55@reddit

Half of them yes the other half strangers

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After-Willingness271@reddit

i only really have a relationship with one cousin. it’s an age gap and distance issue with all the others

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ATL_fleur@reddit

Super close with all my cousins on my mom’s side. We are actually on a cousins trip now.

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DreamsAndSchemes@reddit

I talk to my cousins more than my parents. My mom and her siblings don’t get along so we circumvented them and built our own relationships

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mollyologist@reddit

I am! At least on my mom's side of the family. I see the ones that live nearby once a week or so, and we have specific cousin dinners for just cousins every quarter or so in addition to larger family gatherings. My only regret about not having kids is that my sister's kids don't have the same large group of cousins to grow up with that I did.

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No_Salad_8766@reddit

I have a horrible relationship with my cousins. Most of them are older than me and I was left out a lot. Youd think it was because of my age, but its definitely not because there was at least 1 incident im aware of where they chose to spend time with my younger male cousin instead of me. Even as recent as this year my cousins would rather ignore me than even try to be friendly. As far as im aware, I didnt do anything wrong to make them act this way towards me, even into adulthood. Even the cousin I liked the most was not great towards me recently. Like, it was so obvious my bf even noticed. And the treatment was extended towards him too. My favorite aunt and uncle also noticed the bad treatment towards my family and were also included in the bad treatment, which they normally dont get. Luckily im not forced to interact with them if I dont want to. I still dont know how my 1 cousin got a guy to marry her and have a baby with her with how bitchy she is.

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BigMom000@reddit

I love my cousins. We grew up visiting each other, being attendants in each others weddings, lifelong friends. Extended family can be wonderful but it needs to be nourished, just like anything else valuable in life.

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Cereal____Killer@reddit

Some cousins no… others are like brothers

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Seattleman1955@reddit

It depends on the families and the cousins. I spent time with my cousins since we lived close to each other but most were older than me and some were old enough to be my parents.

Other people aren't close at all because those cousins don't live in the same part of the country and they barely know each other. For others there may be large age difference.

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workntohard@reddit

I grew up away from extended family, mostly visiting during summer. At family gatherings I know some by name, more I recognize as which part of family they are, even more that we are related somehow.

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Zealousideal_Draw_94@reddit

On my father’s side, I have 25 first cousins, ages range from 69 down to 35. Have first cousins once removed from 50 downwards to 3. I was the only one born in a 10 year gap, between the older siblings (1-6) and the younger siblings (7-10) having children.

So not really close to any of them, but we do still have family get togethers, in December, and July.

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casciomystery@reddit

I saw my American cousins once when I was a kid. I wouldn’t know them if I passed them on a street. My Japanese cousins I’ve met a few times, but we can’t communicate.

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beardiac@reddit

It varies.

My kids are close with most of their cousins, but they only have 6 to keep track of.

My wife also sees a lot of her cousins at least once a year at a summer picnic and some of them at Thanksgiving (she has a LOT of cousins - her dad has 5 brothers and a sister and several of them have several children and grandchildren). Though she rarely sees or hears from her cousins on her mom's side.

I am a generation older than all of my cousins and I've never lived close enough to any of them to visit much - especially since leaving home. So while I know who they are and keep tabs on some of them on Facebook, I'd be surprised if more than 2 or 3 could recognize me as family if we ran into each other (and again, there are a lot - each of my parents have 2 sisters and 3 brothers and most of them had multiple kids).

For context, I'm white (Italian - English mix) and my wife is too (German, Irish and some English and Welsh I think).

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bananabastard@reddit

Not as close as in Pakistan, as they usually marry their cousins.

Growing up, my cousins were my best friends, but that closeness wasn't maintained into adulthood.

Still get along well, just don't make time to hang out like before.

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bananabastard@reddit

I guess I'm being downvoted because people don't realize that what I said is a fact?

https://popcouncil.org/insight/the-prevalence-and-persistence-of-cousin-marriage-in-pakistan/

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c4g38l07895o

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MilkChocolate21@reddit

I had that question bc how are you raised in close proximity to cousins but still wind up marrying them. Also, if your parents are close cousins and marry you to your close cousins, how is your family not experiencing some European royal family genetic issues? Bc you eventually share as much DNA as siblings.

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bananabastard@reddit

They believe that marrying cousins is fine because the Qur'an allows it.

It's common across the entire Muslim world, up to 60% of them are inbred in some countries.

And yes, it does cause genetic disorders and intellectual disabilities.

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HipsDontLie_LoveFood@reddit

My cousins all live in a different state and are about 15+ years older than me.

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readerchick05@reddit

I'm the baby of the family, so the cousin closest to me is 2 years older. I didn't live around any of them and they all like to drink and party, and I don't, so I'm not close to any of them. In fact, for the most part, they don't even like me, because I don't drink and party.

As an adult, when my parents still lived in the same town, I would get invited to family things like a day or 2 before, because my parents would invite me but once my parents moved, I didn't even get invited to family things and then they would turn around and ask me why I never came around.

My aunt and uncles didn't even invite me to things. Even though I wasn't into partying or drinking when my parents invited me I did go for an hour or two so it's not like I never showed up to them previously

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mostlygray@reddit

I'm close to most of them. We live far apart so we don't get too talk often, but when we do talk, it's for hours.

Various cousins used to come and stay with us in the summer for a month or so. Occasionally, we'd go on vacations when we were kids.

There's really only one cousin that I never talk to because we never actually formed a relationship and one cousin that kind of irritates me. The rest are all cool.

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EatLard@reddit

My family is spread out over the continent, but we do have a reunion every couple years and keep up over social media and talk quite a bit.

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letschat66@reddit

One set is in Chile and the other is in Massachusetts so no.

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Tuerai@reddit

i'm in a weird situation where i have no full-blooded first cousins. i have first cousins who are not blood-related. one moved to europe to play hockey and the other one i think works in some biology related field, but i only see them for the occasional thanksgiving. then on the other side i have all half cousins. one works for the city, one works at a coffee shop, then another group, one doesnt really go out due to some disabilites, and isn't super social from what I gather, as i haven't seen her in years despite seeing her mom and her sister my other cousin in that group at some family gatherings every few years. i also have a secret uncle i found on amcestry, but he didnt message me back, so idk if he has any kids that would be my cousins.

but basically, i see various cousins only at faimly gatherings somewhere between annually and once-per-decade.

then i got some second cousins, one got married and may have moved states, the other is a bit of a homebody from what i can tell. anything beyond the kids of my parents siblings, i see only at weddings, funerals, and once in a blue moon family gatherings, but those have been happening less as older relatives die off and people lose some of their personal connections.

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battleop@reddit

Not at all. Both of my parents grew up poor and they were the only two to work hard and get out of being poor. As a result I grew up always hearing "This is my rich cousin" when we were not rich but also not poor. I resented being singled out like that by my cousins on both side so I had nothing to do with them. When my dad died my cousins from his side wanted to know what was left for them in the will and I got some of that from my mom's side.

So as am adult I have zero use for any of them.

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BidRevolutionary945@reddit

I'm close with the ones that are closest to my age. Most are quite a bit older and younger than me. There were only 5 of us born in the 60s, and I was also close with a cousin who is 9 yrs younger than me.

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Rosalie1778@reddit

No, I was when I was a kid (the youngest cousin) and they were older teens/adults but as I became an adult I move d away from the toxic wasteland of my family

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Lumpy_Lawfulness_@reddit

No, I’d only see my cousins maybe once every five years growing up. As adults we’re distant and don’t really talk or anything.

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Imightbeafanofthis@reddit

No. I have had almost no contact with my four cousins. I'm 67 and I've met all four of them at least once,have had extremely sporadic contact with two of them, less than two years of contact with any of them. It all comes down to feud between my father and his two brothers. Their father wrote quite a good book, but he died before it got published, and the three brothers fought over who should get it published. My dad thought he should because he had a degree in English. My uncle Clem thought he should because he was no stranger to publishing as it was a requirement of tenure at the university he taught at, and my uncle Don thought he should because he was actually in the publishing industry as a fairly successful writer and illustrator of children's books.

The great irony of all of this is that my grandfather was a journalist who was sent to prison for five years for bouncing a fifty dollar check after pissing off the political machine in Arizona. The book he wrote was called, "When You Go To Prison" and was a no-nonsense, non judgemental book about what you needed to know and how you needed to behave if you were sent to prison. I've read it, and it was a great book -- for 1945. But what my father and his brothers feuded about for 60 years is now hopelessly dated.

It's such a shame. My grandfather's legacy was lost because his kids were too prideful about who should get the book published. And in the end, it kept us cousins apart for forever.

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KittyCubed@reddit

I grew up spending summers with them through junior high. After that it was less and less. Last time I saw most of them was at our grandmother’s funeral 20 years ago. Heck, even my aunts and uncles are strangers to me at this point. One cousin and I sometimes talk on FB. Same on my mom’s side.

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penisdevourer@reddit

Some of them. My mom raised one of my cousins (my aunt lived in the house behind ours but was crazy abusive so he’d come stay with us for weeks at a time) and we are still very close. He’s like a big brother to me.

I also have 2 cousins that live 4 hours away that we’d see for a week at a time every thanksgiving and Easter. The older one (F21) was born just a day after my sister and the 3 of us have always been very close. The you get one (M17) is closer with my little brother.

My dad had me and my sister on the weekends but he’d usually still be working so we spent a LOT of that time at our grandparents along with several of our cousins. Most of them were you get than us but we have 1 cousin (F21) that we’d always hangout with and have been really close with.

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BrightOwl926@reddit

I have close relationships with my cousins …. up to my 6th or 7th cousins!

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Alarming_Long2677@reddit

absolutely. They are the only friends I have that are required by natural law to put up with my shenanigans! lol

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Chemical_Pomelo_2831@reddit

I have 4 cousins. I have never met one, and only met the other three once.

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freddbare@reddit

Large local family (mom was 1/9) same situation you described was my childhood!

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PaintingNouns@reddit

I’m lucky, I have a lot of cousins and we all grew up together. Some of them are my best friends.

But my daughter only has a couple first cousins and they live across the country, and she sees her second cousins (which I count as cousins since she has so few) only once or twice a year. They all still get along pretty well since their parents get along, but it’s not the same.

I’m making a point to quit chasing jobs and move closer to family soon.

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Primary_Excuse_7183@reddit

Great. We don’t live in the same states these days(adults) but when we’re together it’s like we never left. Food, drinks, games, all round good time.

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Ok-Aside2816@reddit

Despite having 5 Uncles and Aunts I only have 3 cousins and I only like 1 and talk to 0 😭

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HidingInTrees2245@reddit

We grew up pretty close to our cousins. We all got together on holidays and summer vacations. One of my cousins was a best friend for life. (She’s passed now.) I don’t live near them but stay in touch with about half of them these days, and visit in person every so often.

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_Creditworthy_@reddit

As a white guy, not really. But they’re all way older than me and none live nearby

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kmill0202@reddit

I was extremely close with my first cousins growing up. I had quite a few that were either the same age or very close in age to me, and we were inseparable up until early adulthood. We're not quite as close these days just because distance, children, careers, and busy schedules. But we still keep in touch and get together occasionally.

That's definitely not a universal American experience, though. It really seems to depend on how big and close the family is and how close in age the cousins are. My boyfriend has a much smaller family and far fewer cousins. His cousins are older than him, and they grew up further apart distance wise. They are cordial, but not nearly as close. And of course, there are people who have family estrangments or no cousins at all due to parents being only children.

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JerkOffTaco@reddit

One of my cousins is the best friend I could ever ask for. I love her more than anyone. We were raised like sisters.

The others, I love and enjoying seeing, but I do not consider myself very close to them. I am happy they are all well.

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that-Sarah-girl@reddit

This is basically me but with one more tier in the middle, the cousins I love but only see a few times a year. We click pretty well and have a great time hanging out. It's like seeing a group of old friends every time. And all their kids treat me like a bonus aunt/uncle.

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Brave_Engineering133@reddit

We were somewhat close to one family of cousins. We had a few long visits in the summer – like a few weeks together. But mostly saw them maybe six times a year for shorter visits as we lived about three hours drive apart. And I think that’s the problem with the US. For a lot of of us we don’t live close to our extended family so we don’t grow up with that kind of relationship.

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WideGlideReddit@reddit

Very

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SignificantApricot69@reddit

My mom and her sister stayed within 30 miles of each other while most of their siblings moved away for better economic opportunities. My mom and sister also had pregnancies within 6 months of each other. So I was close with my cousin who is 6 months younger and I would say was my best friend growing up. His mom (my aunt) married another single/divorced parent she met at their school (parents of kindergartners) so he got a stepbrother the same age. That made 3 of us the same age living about 30 miles apart. Then they had another child when my mom had my younger brother. Eventually I had another younger sibling. So we basically had 6 of us pretty close with 3 the same exact age and the other 3 all within a couple years. I don’t know if this is the norm at all, probably not. Also my 2 uncles who moved away waited much longer to have kids, which I would say matches their personality towards planning for success and low time preference. So they met and married similarly minded women and all established careers, etc then had kids. So my youngest cousins are up to 24 years younger than me. And 1 of my own kids is older than 1 of my cousins. So I’m not close to those cousins who are 3000 miles and 19-24 years apart from me

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Puzzlehead_Gen@reddit

It depends. We didn't live near any of our cousins. My father and his siblings all moved far away from their hometowns, but not to the same parents of the country. I know my dad was very close to several of his cousins, and my mom was close to hers. I met more of my mom's cousins because I saw them more often. I'm actually in closer contact with a couple of my 2nd cousins on my mom's side, although I know my 1st cousins better

As a child, I met Dad's sister's children only twice. His brother lived closer, so we saw them about once each year. My mom's siblings stayed in their hometown (same state I grew up in), and when I was very young we visited fairly frequently, and when I was older my mom and her siblings tried to coordinate annual vacations so we could all get together. Still, their lives didn't much intersect with mine as we got older.

My husband and his siblings saw their cousins a lot, and he and his siblings all stayed in the same area. A group of his nieces and nephews (he is from a large family) were all born within a few years. They have been good friends since birth and still get together regularly.

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PoopdatGameOUT@reddit

Nope not close at all.Last time I saw my cousins on my mothers side was back in 1988 lol.And the few I have near me haven’t seen them since they were kids

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rosesforthemonsters@reddit

I don't know any of my cousins. I would recognize a couple of them, if I saw them, but they may not recognize me. Even if they did, we're not close, neither of us would make any attempt to speak to the other.

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AkemiAkikoEverywhere@reddit

Well I sometimes think I'm closer with my cousins than I am with my dad.... and my cousins live in Germany and my dad lives with us in America soooo....

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IJustWantADragon21@reddit

It really depends on the family in question. My best friend and her brother were basically raised as siblings with their cousins. Most people I knew saw their cousins anywhere from every week or two to major holidays and birthdays only. I on the other hand saw my second cousins once every few years and have never met any first cousins because my dad’s family was estranged. It really is a crapshoot but I’d say most people fall somewhere in that middle range of every few weeks to several times a year.

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lexicon951@reddit

White Americans, you’ll see a mixed bag. There are some close families, but the individualism of the culture here means that people aren’t as close as they could be, and once we break off and start our own families, we don’t depend on our parents or extended families as much as other cultures. We’re also very prone to cutting off anyone we don’t agree with or who doesn’t add value to our lives. Growing up, I would see my cousins maybe once or twice a year, and we weren’t very close. As we became teens and adults, those of us who were close(r) grew apart. It’s now a conscious effort to try to maintain a connection with them

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ghotiermann@reddit

My father was in the Air Force. We didn’t live anywhere near any of my cousins.

My parents are both from big families. I probably have at least a dozen cousins. I haven’t even met most of them. Since I’m in my sixties, and still live nowhere near them, I probably never will.

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crunchyfoliage@reddit

Not at all. Most of them are fine, but I wouldn't consider them friends. We see each other at funerals and open houses

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SabresBills69@reddit

Unlike in Alabama we don't marry them......

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txlady100@reddit

Sadly no. My father joined the military at a young age and moved out of his home state, never to return, whereas the rest of the family remained in place. We visited every 4 years - 2000 miles, 30 hour drive.

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pastryfiend@reddit

A lot will have to do with socioeconomics. People that were not able to move away from their communities will likely be close to their cousins and extended family. Those that went away for college or were able to venture out on their own are likely less close.

I'm in the latter group, my closest cousin is a 5 hour drive away. Hell I haven't seen my siblings in years even the brother that moved 80 miles from me. I've reached out but he doesn't seem interested.

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angrymurderhornet@reddit

I have cousins on only on side of the family. There were 19 of us including me, we all knew one another, and many of us were close. The oldest was born in 1930 and the youngest in 1962.

We were the second U.S.-born generation in an Italian immigrant family, and all lived in the northeastern U.S.; that geographic and cultural proximity is becoming less common here.

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qu33nof5pad35@reddit

No.

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madcowbcs@reddit

I've seen my cousins on my mother's side maybe a dozen times in 40 years. I've only met some of my father's cousins once at a funeral. We live across the country from mother's side and 7 from my father's side

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IzK_3@reddit

no, they live in another country.

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shnanogans@reddit

It really depends. I'm 10 years younger than my next youngest cousin and she grew up across the country from me. There are some people though whos cousins are like extra siblings they're so close. there's a lot of factors that go into whether or not you're close to your cousins, but i think one of them is income. Lower income families tend to have kids earlier, have more kids, and are less likely to pursue education or job opportunities in distant places across the country. So if you come from a lower income family you're more likely to have more cousins and chances are they live pretty close to you too.

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snickelbetches@reddit

I am very close to one cousin out of 20 first cousins.

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lolabythebay@reddit

I have cousins I'm very close with, whose children are close to mine. I also have cousins I see a few times a decade.

A few of my first cousins were born when I was in my 20s. Their father and mine are brothers who never got along well, so I wasn't close with that uncle. I keep up with the older boy when his football team is in the paper, but I don't know them.

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saggyflowers@reddit

Mom’s side yes, dad’s side not at all

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keiko1984@reddit

Nope we were all forced together & hated it but then again come from a family where appearances mattered more than family Havent seen any of them since leaving home at 18

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Bananas_are_theworst@reddit

Absolutely. I’m closer to my cousins than my siblings. We all went to high school together and even though we went to separate grade schools, I saw them daily afterwards. Cousins make the best friends!

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Bright_Ices@reddit

That’s lovely! I sometimes think of my school classmates as emotional cousins. Many of us were in the same class from kindergarten through high school. We grew up together. In contrast, I saw some of my cousins once a year at most. Others I’ve never met.

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Bananas_are_theworst@reddit

Oh yeah you can definitely build that bond with schoolmates too! I strongly believe my grade school and middle school friends were the best. High school everyone got weird but the younger friendships were awesome.

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RadioWolfSG@reddit

I don't have any cousins. My sibling and I are my grandparents only grandchildren.

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BringBackSocom1938@reddit

I get along with pretty much all of my cousins and always try to get them all together when i visit back home. The problem is they don't all like each other

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millennialblackgirl@reddit

Nope. My Mom is an only child so all my cousins on her side are her cousins and they’re older than me. Dad died when I was a baby and I don’t know his fam.

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Iwcwcwcool@reddit

Very close.

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TheOfficialKramer@reddit

Yes, it's family, we are all very close.

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ComplexPick@reddit

I'm not close at all to my cousins. A few I wouldn't recognize if they walked pass me on the street. But the reason is I am a lot older than most of my cousins and have little in common with them. Our families scattered around the US and we just never get together.

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FingazMC@reddit

Didn't know I had any until I was 18 (didn't meet my Dad until then), got pissed up and took drugs with one of them for a fair few years, until I got clean.

Found out a couple of days ago he's on remand for murder, I've tried reaching out but we're not a close family so haven't had a text back from anyone yet...

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Tinkerfan57912@reddit

Not really. My siblings and I moved several states away, after college.

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nwbrown@reddit

I live in a completely different city than any family members.

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Adventurous_Tea_6133@reddit

When I was a kid we hung out all the time but now as an adult it’s only at funerals that I see them!

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derberner90@reddit

Two of my cousins on my mom's side lived with us while they were in high school (they're about 10 years older than my siblings and I). We're also extremely close with my cousins on my dad's side, but we lived 2 hours away from one set and states away from the other.

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Jsmith2127@reddit

I barely know most of my cousins. I have hundreds of cousins in my hometown, and surrounding areas, that if I saw , I would have no idea who they were. I haven't ever met, or spoken to 90% of them.

My mother has 2 bio siblings, and several half siblings, that she never has anything to do with, and barely had anything to do with her bio siblings, so neither did I, or my siblings.

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OneOldBear@reddit

Since my cousins are my only living relatives, I'm very close to them.

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mysecondaccountanon@reddit

Started growing up very close, family drama through the parents unfortunately drove us away as slightly older children, though. Family’s very tight and large, though, and it’s luckily been resolved recently.

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PaddyBoy1994@reddit

I've got a bunch of cousins I'm fairly close with, but I've also known all of them since they were born (I'm the oldest one in the family from my generation, lol).

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FoolhardyBastard@reddit

I hang out with my cousins all the time. We are very close.

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sickostrich244@reddit

I'm close with my cousins. I don't see them much but I know whenever we're in the same town together we'll go hangout somewhere

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brobo_braggins@reddit

I’m pretty close with my cousins. We spent a lot of time together as kids and still make an effort as adults to go on trips once a year all together. We all have kids around the same age now too which is fun. My brother and I are trying to keep our kids close as well so they also have good relationships as they get older (especially since we’re one and done and they have 3)

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MilkChocolate21@reddit

Close. But question. I keep seeing stories where Pakistani people marry cousins. How common is it, and does it not feel odd marrying people who are relatives you grow up with. My cousins feel like secondary siblings.

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Character-Twist-1409@reddit

This is going to depend on family and culture. Yes, for my family I grew up with my cousins and aunties

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BearsLoveToulouse@reddit

This. My Mom’s side of the family seems like they all keep very close and I remember meeting soooo many cousins. I personally wasn’t close because we moved far away from everyone.

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HairyHorseKnuckles@reddit

I feel like black and Hispanic communities are better at this than white. Most white people I know aren’t big on keeping in touch with extended family

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Imaginary_Music_3025@reddit

This is interesting. I’m black my husband is white, and he has more relationships with his cousins than I do/did growing up. He’d spend summers with his uncle and cousins and had remained quite close with another cousin. Meanwhile; my family moved from my home state when o was 8 so I didn’t have that bond we had when o was originally growing up. Today I only talk to one cousin, and maybe one aunt. My husbands family is quite closer than my own and do things together more frequently than my own.

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HairyHorseKnuckles@reddit

I’m white and can only name a few of my cousins and any family gathering has like a dozen people at most but my black and Hispanic friends have these huge family gatherings where like a hundred people show up. Best birthday party I ever went to was a Mexican quinceanera

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Zappagrrl02@reddit

Your experience is not universal.

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HairyHorseKnuckles@reddit

Never said it was that’s why my first sentence started with “I feel like” which introduces a personal opinion. We really need to start teach reading comprehension

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Imaginary_Music_3025@reddit

That’s awesome to still have those type of big family parties. Lol I’m jealous of your friends 😂

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BigEggBeaters@reddit

Idk if I’ve ever once in my life seen a white person refer to their cousins in any capacity

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catcatcatcatcat1234@reddit

I never refer to my cousins to just random people, even to my friends I don't think it was ever a topic of conversation. I am close with my cousins though

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Jorost@reddit

I dunno, man. My very white, very WASP New England family is a deeply connected clan of cousins. It very much depends on time, place, and context.

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RipeMangoDevourer@reddit

I was thinking the same thing. In my experience, Latinos are really close to their cousins, but not us white folk. I love my cousins, but I only see and talk to them on holidays

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Nercow@reddit

Just because you aren't close to your family doesn't mean other white people aren't.

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HairyHorseKnuckles@reddit

I also included other white people I know. I have one white friend with a close family but he’s Mormon. No one else I know has large family gatherings

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Ecks54@reddit

I think it varies wildly depending on the family, and generally has far less to do with culture.

I have seen white families, of varying socioeconomic levels, be both close with their extended family as well as distant from them, and I've seen Mexican families where, even though the siblings literally live in the same neighborhood where they hardly see or even speak to each other.

My wife and I are from the same culture and from similar circumstances - our parents are immigrants, we are both raised in the US, but whereas she and her family are extremely close, mine were far more emotionally distant.

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Background-Cod-7035@reddit

And people in Hawaii! My mom’s from there and almost all my cousins still live there and I’m really close with them, despite being in NY. Maybe all the cultures where you call all older ladies “Aunty”?

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IMakeOkVideosOk@reddit

Also geography and age…

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Imateepeeimawigwam@reddit

Same here. Family was always super important with my family. I think it's pretty universal in Utah.

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Littleboypurple@reddit

Same here yet, I haven't kept up with them at all after moving out. To me, my cousins were just kinda cool people I recognize. It's so weird hearing about how this cousin has been doing military service for 3 years now or how this cousin is now on kid No. 4 after not being around them anymore

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AARose24@reddit

I’m hanging out with my cousin right now of our own volition. Granted, she’s my 3rd cousin. I actually dislike most of my 1st cousins.

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Occhrome@reddit

Latino.

We are very close and look forward to hanging out whenever possible.

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elocin1985@reddit

My mom and dad don’t have any brothers or sisters, so I don’t have any first cousins. I always loved seeing my other cousins when I would go out of state to visit my grandparents, on my mom’s side, as that’s where they lived too. But they’re my mom’s first cousins, and they’re all about her age. So we never played together or anything like that. My mom is close with them though. And one of them has two kids that I always enjoyed being around when they were younger. My mom is currently on vacation with one of her cousins.

On my dad’s side, his cousins are also his age but my grandma had like 9 siblings so there were more of them, and they had kids earlier, so some of us are around the same age. So I was close to one of my cousins when I was a kid because my grandma and his grandma, who were sisters, would always take us places together. But now my relationships with that side of the family are just through Facebook.

My dad isn’t close with any of his cousins. But he’s not good at maintaining relationships with friends or family anyway.

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taranathesmurf@reddit

I have 4 cousins on my paternal side that haven't seen in 50 years. There was some family drama and jealousy between my father and uncle so so my uncle stopped coming around. Even when we were kids, their mother taught them that, in her opinion that they were the golden grandchildren and should talk down to us. On my maternal side, they are much younger and in another state, so we didn't see them much. In fact, my brothers are a lot closer to our second cousins and first cousins once removed. Who we saw regularly at family reunions and gatherings.

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Federal-Membership-1@reddit

We don't stay in touch, but there is instant warmth/familiarity when we are together, regardless of time apart.

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oneislandgirl@reddit

Nope. Hate them all for the way they have screwed us over.

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Queer_Advocate@reddit

I know two of my cousin's name. Talk to 0 cousins. One side of my family is batshit crazy. They're all on the batshit side.

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Reference_Freak@reddit

Nope. Grew up on opposite coasts from mine. Met most as an adult. That was enough for me.

They grew up meeting a few times but lived in different states. There were a few family reunions.

My BFF grew up close to her cousins and saw them all several times a year, more often sometimes.

It all depends on how close the parents are to their siblings in terms of both miles and relationships.

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Star_child1391@reddit

Not at all. Lived in different states and saw the 3 cousins on my Dad's side (very close to our ages) maybe once every other year until I left for college at 18. There are now two new cousins from his youngest sibling but I've only met them twice because I am in my thirties and I think the oldest just turned 13. I have one cousin on my Mom's side, we lived in the same state (though still hours apart) and I met her one time. I don't even remember her. My Mom and her brother don't get on well. I have never understood people being close to their cousins since mine were just people I saw now and then.

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evaj95@reddit

Yes.

My oldest cousin and I grew up like sisters.

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NCC1701-Enterprise@reddit

It is going to vary from family to family. I am about 16 years younger than my closest cousin age wise, so growing up we were never at the same stage in life at the same time so outside of holidays we never really spent much time together. My wife on the other hand, she has 14 cousins all + or - 2 years of her, they are pretty tight, still hang out all the time. I think age gaps and distance are going to be the two biggest factors, those that are close in age and life close to each are likely going to have a closer relationship. Also the relationship of your parents with their siblings will factor in a lot too.

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SinfullySinatra@reddit

For the most part, no. Most of them aren’t geographically close and most of them are a lot older than me (although that doesn’t matter as much now that we are all adults) because I was a later-in-life surprise baby. Also a lot of them are MAGA so I just feel uncomfortable and unsafe around them.

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Avasia1717@reddit

when i was a kid i’d see them all the time, but it was always our parents arranging the get-togethers because they were siblings.

after i grew up and moved away i see them much less often. a wedding here, a funeral there, occasional birthdays.

i went to one of my cousins’ 21st birthday party and then didn’t see him again until he was 34 and we went to a soccer game together. but we talk online pretty often.

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prevknamy@reddit

I'm not close to two cousins. But the third might as well be my twin. We lived two hours apart growing up but when we were together it was like the rest of the world ceased to exist. Now, as adults, we live across the country from each other but text every hour. lol.

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HoratioHotplate@reddit

It varies a lot. I only see my cousins every few years, when we happen to be in each other's towns.

A friend of mine has about 50 gazillion cousins in the area and they all get together every Sunday for "supper". And often in the week to hang out or help each other with chores.

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Living_Murphys_Law@reddit

Depends. All of mine lived quite far away, and even though I'm close with some, I don’t stay in touch with many of them

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GrowlingAtTheWorld@reddit

I was a late in life child so my cousins were late teens or adults when I was born so we were not close.

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angelskye1215@reddit

I see my cousins maybe once a year. If I know anything about them, it came down the gossip vine, not from their mouths. They live in another state and it takes a day (or more if we don’t wnat to drive through the night) to visit them, so they weren’t in my life much

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Willing_Acadia_1037@reddit

We get together for holidays, family parties, sometimes a vacation. We don’t live nearby so we mostly keep up via facebook.

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a-fabulous-sandwich@reddit

I wanted to be. I still want to be. Unfortunately, the feeling has never been mutual.

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Time-Signature-8714@reddit

I have cousins who live next door! We hang out fairly often.

A little less now that we’re older and have work and stuff, but we still hang out.

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HaleYeah6035@reddit

I love my cousins and got to see them a few months ago. We spent a lot of time together as kids even though we lived 3 hours apart.

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tutti_frutti_dutti@reddit

Yes, when I was a kid. I miss most of them and would love to meaningfully reconnect but we’re all scattered across the country and busy with other stuff now. I hope when we’re older and life slows down a bit it’ll work out

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YNABDisciple@reddit

I’m really close with many of my cousins but not others!

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_El-Tigre-Mostaza_@reddit

I’m not. I only have one cousin and I’m 16 years older than her.

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raven_of_azarath@reddit

Me personally? Not really, but I’ve never been good at close relationships. And with my cousins, it was particularly hard. All our cousins are either 10 years older or 10 years younger than me, so it was hard to build those bonds growing up, never mind my struggle with social skills. I do talk with two of my cousins every few months or so, but that’s about it.

My brother, on the other hand, has a group chat with a few cousins and they talk all the time. He actually lived with one of those cousins during college (which is when I grew closer with him). He also goes to our second cousins’ sports games all the time.

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dMatusavage@reddit

I have cousins in England, Canada (Ontario & Alberta), Japan, Taiwan, and Scotland.

Also, in no particular order, Alaska, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Michigan, Illinois, and Indiana.

So, nope. 🤣

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No-Type119@reddit

In my family there’s a significant age gap between my cousins and me, almost a generation in some cases, so I never hung out with my cousins… also, three of them lived far away. On the other hand, my step- grandkids grew up with their cousins as daily playmates. So it all depends. Americans generally have fewer cousins, and often also live farther from one another.

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Bitch-stewies@reddit

Uh close enough to send birthday wishes and the occasional family gathering (thanksgiving/christmas). Huge age gap between my cousins and family estrangement didn’t help. But we’ve civil and friendly to each other when we see one another, no ill will, it’s all love but we’re not in each others daily lives. I hear more about my cousins lives from their parents then from themselves.

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onebirdonawire@reddit

We used to be as kids, but my father's family has become more racist and hateful over time and it became easier to avoid them after our dad passed. We don't even want to be associated with them anymore- they've become completely maga unhinged. But we also have a cousin on our mom's side we have always been close with because she's much younger. And a very kind person.

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kaka8miranda@reddit

From my own personal experience I’m closer with my cousins who live in a different country than most Americans were in my hometown.

There was one group of cousins tho they were super close but the age gap was 3-4 years only and the moms were sisters of course and bffs

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sh6rty13@reddit

I would see my cousins a few times a year growing up. Once our grandparents died, we kind of tried to keep up for a couple more years but then just stopped. We see one or two of them maybe at Christmas, the grapevine and social media just kind of keeps us updated with everything.

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gummytiddy@reddit

I did not grow up with cousins. We have a significant age gap- the oldest was born when I was teenager. We always have fun when we hang out, even if they’re all technically young enough to be my kids

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CharlestonChewbacca@reddit

Yes. One is renting one of my rooms.

My girlfriend is my cousin's wife's best friend.

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ycey@reddit

One of my cousins considers us sisters, considering I also dislike most my sisters that sounds about right.

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imthe5thking@reddit

I’m close with them in a way that we act like best friends or even siblings when we meet, but we only meet like once a year because my parents thought it was a good idea to move 600 miles away from where they grew up to raise me but none of their siblings moved away. I do also have cousins that I haven’t even seen since our grandmother’s funeral, though.

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iSc00t@reddit

I know people who are, I am not with mine. They are… troubled people.

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PictureYggdrasil@reddit

Not for my family. I know people who were very close with their cousins but I only knew my aunt and uncle on one side of my family and they didn't have any kids. Father's side of the family I had no contact with at all. I think he had cousins but he wasn't in contact with them. He had some emotional baggage associated with his family but also I'm not sure how many of them were still alive by the time I was born. So basically I had no first cousins and my mother had an entire slew of cousins, too many to keep track of but they lived all over the place up and when you live in a country that is 3,000 mi Coast to Coast, keeping up with scattered family is an expensive proposition. Especially before the internet. I now live only one town over from a second cousin but I didn't meet him until I was in my thirties. I think the last time I spoke to him was 3 or 4 years ago.

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ShopNeitherOne@reddit

I was raised in a similar environment. I do keep in close contact with many of my cousins. We travel together, have Thanksgiving, and visit each other. I do acknowledge that this is somewhat rare in the US. I have cousins in MA, VA, MD and FL. We gather several times a year.

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R0gueX3@reddit

Very much depends on the family. Im not close with them anymore (I'm 26). However, I used to be quite close to a few of them. Our grandma would all watch us while parents worked so we saw each other a lot. Then I moved to a town with no family when I was 7, so I stopped seeing family regularly. I enjoy seeing people still, but I have become much more of an introvert. Seeing people once or twice a year is good enough for me, but some of my family likes to get together a lot more regularly.

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Bossman1086@reddit

Some of them yes, some of them no. I was close with almost all of them when we were young and all played together when we'd visit extended family more often. Once they grew up and started their own families, we grew apart some. Especially since none of us live close together.

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jonesdb@reddit

Growing up, yes. We all lived pretty close too. Within a couple hours. But all my siblings and most cousins moved away. Like a 10 hour drive to see my sisters. So I don’t even see my siblings but once a year at most.

In the US you can be a 24hour drive away and still be well within the country and people move around the country regularly. Farming communities tend to be closer, but modern office worker can pick up and move like nothing.

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alliterativehyjinks@reddit

I was growing up. Then we became adults and then they didn't finish high school and my siblings all went to university. I got a Facebook message from one several years back that accused me of snubbing them and thinking I was better when, in reality, they stopped coming to family events they were invited to and so we lost touch. My mom passed away a couple years ago. They live within 15 min of where her funeral was and they didn't show up. It sure feels like they chose to snub my family at this point.

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daffodil0127@reddit

I’m not particularly close to my cousins. They live out of state except for one, and he’s a lot younger than I am and spent his younger adult years in prison. I only see him for holidays.

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abmbulldogs@reddit

I grew up 3 hours away from 3 of my cousins and an hour and a half away from the other 2. I am closer to the 2 from my mother’s side but one currently lives in Asia and the other 5 hours away from me two states over so I don’t see them super often in person. My mom grew up extremely close with her cousins because her mom was one of 7 and they all lived in the same city.

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Candid-Math5098@reddit

No, my mother was one of three siblings, the others lived far away. As an adult, I'm in contact with two of four living cousins, but I wouldn't say "close".

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Garden_Jolly@reddit

I am not.

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Jorost@reddit

Yes. My grandfather was one of seven siblings, and the clan remains well connected even to my generation. I have students at my elementary school who are my second cousins once removed but are more like nephews. Yankee First Family, settled in Ipswich, Massachusetts in 1634 and stayed there!

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whoa-or-woah@reddit

Nope. We’ve always lived too far away from one another.

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omgcheez@reddit

I only have one 1st cousin and she lives about 6hrs away. We have tended to visit the area at least a few times a year, though there were years that didn’t happen. She’s closer in age than I am to my sib, so it was nice to have another kid to talk to.

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BigDaddyTheBeefcake@reddit

I wouldn't recognize them. They aren't family. They are relatives.

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Mo-Champion-5013@reddit

I grew up with my cousins but we don't talk much anymore due to different adult decisions.

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473713@reddit

I had three cousins. Two have died, and one of those was many many years ago. The remaining cousin lives 2000 miles away and I have not been in contact with her for decades. We are not estranged, she's just exhausting. She never stops talking and she's always right.

We are white but the extended family on the whole is mixed race. Even that didn't pull us together.

Some family relationships are just not meant to be

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TheMuffler42069@reddit

Yes but many families live far apart in the US so extensive travel is sometimes involved. Which I imagine is the same almost everywhere to a degree.

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ADQuatt@reddit

We have nothing in common and don’t talk.

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Complex_Raspberry97@reddit

I have two full cousins. I could be close to the one that’s my age, but we are just so different. I have a bunch of half cousins that I’m not close to.

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beyeond@reddit

Haven't seen a cousin in probably 25 years. I'm okay with it

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Senior_Performer_387@reddit

I have a huge family on my dad's side and they have a family reunion every year. I have more cousins than I can count and I was so stoked to see my favorite cousin this year.

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Taftimus@reddit

I used to be, and then they all turned out to be backstabbing scumfuck pieces of human garbage.

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verminiusrex@reddit

Somewhat when I was younger, but we moved so far away I don't recognize most of my cousins now as adults.

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foozballhead@reddit

One cousin i spent time with as a child regularly (as it grandparents babysat us), yes. But my parents weren’t close with their siblings so i mostly only saw the other cousins at family get togethers. There were no shared interests or similar ages to really bond.

As adults, no, the cousins are not close, and most don’t even live in the same state.

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rhandy_mas@reddit

I love my cousins!! I visit a few who like a couple hours away a few times a year. And many still live back near my og home, and I hang out with them. I’ve gone on vacations with my cousins and to visit my cousins!

Cousin weddings are the most fun events.

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one2tinker@reddit

I grew up seeing my cousins regularly. We were really close as kids. We’ve all grown apart, though. Once my grandparents passed, the extended family get togethers dwindled, everyone grew up, many moved away and/or started families. There are so many spouses and little kids now, it wouldn’t even be practical to get everyone together for a holiday. A couple of my cousins turned into lousy people. The rest are just too busy and too spread out to see at any sort or regular interval, which is too bad.

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isittimefordinner@reddit

I have 3 cousins. I know where 1 is.

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NerdyBrando@reddit

Yes, on both sides, but especially my mom’s.

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Imaginary_Train_8056@reddit

I don’t know my cousins on my dad’s side (or anyone, really, other than my aunts), and I can’t stand my cousins on my mom’s side. I’m happier without their messy in my life.

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Maddturtle@reddit

I was when younger but grew apart in my 30s

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FriendlyEbbFlowed@reddit

I think it’s regional and also varies family to family.

My parents took us away from their home state so I’m not close to any of my cousins.

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themom4235@reddit

I’m 66 and still meet with my cousins every week for dinner and games. Our parents are all gone now, so we are the tie that binds.

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QueenieofWonderland@reddit

Eh, kinda. My older cousins are 8 and 6 years older than I am and I’m 13 years older than my other cousin, so we don’t have a ton in common. With my older cousins, there was a span of a few years where our dads weren’t talking to each other, so I didn’t see them all throughout that time, which sucked, but since we’ve gotten older I’ve seen them more and gotten to know them more, but it’s still awkward sometimes when I’m talking to them.

My little cousin on the other hand, doesn’t really seem to like to spend time with me when our families are together, but he’ll hang out with my siblings and his other cousins, but not me, so I’m not super close to him either.

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Bcatfan08@reddit

I have 4 cousins. Two I haven't seen in 20-30 years. One I haven't seen in 10 years. One I talk to like twice a year. So no I'm not close with my cousins.

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EffectiveSalamander@reddit

My cousins lived all over the country. I wasn't at all close to them.

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Practical-Ordinary-6@reddit

It all depends on where you live. I've only ever had three cousins and I've never lived in the same state they lived in so it's pretty hard to get together.

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ConceptOther5327@reddit

Totally depends on the family. I’ve only got 3 cousins on my mom’s side, can’t tell you the names of their spouses or children and wouldn’t recognize them if I saw them. I’ve got 7 1st cousins on my dad’s side and most of them have 2-5 kids and some of those kids are starting to have kids. We all get together every Thanksgiving. Some of us live hours apart and don’t talk often but we all know the major things going on in each other’s lives. If anyone of us were to show up unannounced at a relative’s house we would be invited right in.

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NoDoOversInLife@reddit

We were all super close as kids. We had plenty of vacations together. Almost every weekend was a family bbq, with all our parents trading off as hosts. As adults, we try to get together twice a year but it's difficult with other obligations and not everyone lives in proximity.

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sas223@reddit

I have more than 30 first cousins. I’m not close with most of them. But I have ‘cousins’ who I’m not related to who I’m very close to. They’re actually my cousin’s cousins.

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Efficient_Wheel_6333@reddit

Some, yes, but my family is just big enough (I have 11 first cousins and 7 first cousins once removed-they're the children of some of my older first cousins-and I don't even know how many 2nd or 3rd cousins and that's just my maternal side of the family; I don't know how many cousins I have of the first and 2nd cousin variety on my dad's side) that it's just impossible to even know everyone or be close with them. Even then, most of our interactions are online and over the phone than they are just hanging out together. It doesn't help that we're spread out a bit; 2 of the cousins I'd been close with growing up now live halfway across the country.

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S4FFYR@reddit

What cousins? My dad disowned his family before I was born. Everyone on my mums side is dead or I don’t know them. The closest cousins I’ve spoken to are 2nd cousins removed.

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ZombieLizLemon@reddit

I have more than two dozen first cousins and dozens more first cousins-once-removed, second cousins, etc. I was very close to the cousins around my own age when I was growing up and spent a lot of time with them. It was common for us to spend weekends at each other's homes or weeks together at our grandparents' lakeside cabin in summer. We mostly live in different parts of the country now but are always happy to see each other when we're in the same place.

Spouse has several first cousins that grew up with him in the same small town. He's remained close to some of them, and we're happy to have a couple of them and their families within a half-hour drive of us as we can see them more frequently.

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ByogiS@reddit

It is going to be wildly dependent on the family. I have a million cousins. Some I never talk to and probably never will talk to again. However my absolute best friend in the entire world is also my cousin and we talk multiple times a day.

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boostreak@reddit

Nope for me yes for my wife

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Whiitegurl@reddit

I would say the majority do have a relationship. I have deep bonds with cousins on both mom + dad’s side.

I have that same nostalgic feeling when with my cousins who I played with as kids. There is something so special about it. 🥹

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RedditSkippy@reddit

Not extremely close. We’re a bit geographically separated now. I try to see some of my cousins on holidays, but I also acknowledge that we’re all busy with immediate-family things and it’s not always possible.

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introvert-i-1957@reddit

No. We were never close because there was some kind of feud between my mother and her brother.

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allan11011@reddit

I have one cousin that I’m close with(I’m not very close with his two siblings) we talk sometimes and hang out a few times a year. Used to hang out way more when we were younger at family gatherings and stuff but oh well life happens.

I’m at a disadvantage with this as half my family(and like a million cousins) live on a different continent

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wawa2022@reddit

I lived very near some cousins growing up and yes we were close like siblings. My other cousins, I probably wouldn’t recognize them if I passed them in the street.

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Obsidian-Dive@reddit

I’m white. My older brother is much closer to our cousins than I am. The 11 year age gap made a big difference.

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Reader124-Logan@reddit

Depends on the cousin. I few I wouldn’t piss on to put out a fire.

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Kirbylover16@reddit

I was an only child, so as a child, I was super close to my cousins who lived near me. However, now I only see them about twice a year. We're so busy and have very different lives as adults.

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BreakfastBeerz@reddit

Yes, as well as several 2nd cousins and some 3rd cousins.

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Wooden-Glove-2384@reddit

If my wife wasn't friends with one of them I'd never see any of them.

There's no hatred. Just no interest.

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FutureHot3047@reddit

This depends on the family but I grew up seeing at least one of my cousins every week and my older siblings went to school with my older cousins. In the summer usually my cousins would come and stay with us or just live with us for a while. Not to mention every holiday and birthday where we all meet up to celebrate.

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No_Percentage_5083@reddit

I was. I started out life as the next to youngest of 18 first cousins. There are now only 3 of us left. Six of my cousins died during Covid. That was so devastating for me, I had to go to therapy for a year or so. Prior to that we were very close and had a great time whenever we saw each other!

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TychaBrahe@reddit

My mother didn't have siblings and my father had only one. My father and his sister are both doctors, and both married doctors, so there's a big chance during residency match that you wind up somewhere else. My father and mother are both from Philadelphia and wound up in Chicago. My aunt is also from Philadelphia, and her husband is from Chicago. They were here in Chicago for a while when I was really little, then moved to Baltimore, and then he got a job with the CDC and they moved to Atlanta.

Growing up I didn't really see my cousins. We stayed with them for a week once, and when I was in my teens we saw them more often because my grandfather moved down there, and we would go see him about once a year.

I think proximity is a huge thing. When I was little, my father's parents lived in the city. We saw them once we at least to have dinner with them. After they moved to Atlanta, I saw them maybe every other year.

I think it was much harder to keep in touch back then. People didn't have cell phones, and there wasn't like unlimited minutes per month. Calling long distance was expensive except nights and weekends. A half hour call that distance could cost over $10, which is the equivalent of about $60 today. And there were no speakers, so you would have to talk one on one. My mother might call her cousin in Philadelphia, but I wouldn't get to talk to my second cousin, who was about my age.

One of them left his family as an adult. I haven't seen him in close to 30 years, and I'm not even sure where he lives, although I think his brother knows. My other cousin lives in Connecticut, and I see him for big family things. He has three kids who have all been bar and bat mitzvahed now, so I don't know when I'll see them again.

One time I had a bunch of clients to train at three different companies on the East Coast and I got to have dinner with them like three times in five months. But that's really rare. Like, the one who got bat mitzvahed last year, the last time I saw her was her brother's bar mitzvah, and the time before that, her mom was pregnant with her.

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DefrockedWizard1@reddit

would not even be able to pick them out of a picture

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Clear-Journalist3095@reddit

Lots of Americans are close to their cousins. But I am not, partly because I was born in an age gap and partly because I moved to the other side of the country as soon as I finished college, and have only been back to visit twice. I've stayed in contact with some of them, but others i haven't talked to in years.

I have ten cousins. Here are our current ages, or what our current ages would be: 52, 48, 39 (died when we were teenagers), 38 (me), 37 (died earlier this year), 30, 28, 24, 22, 21, 19. The two who are dead were both the children of my dad's brother.

I have kept in touch with the two older ones, and the two who are in their late 20s. We don't like, call each other on the phone, we just talk occasionally on Facebook. and I haven't seen any of them in person since 2019. I was not close to the one that was just younger than me; he was the grade below me in school, dropped out in like tenth grade, and then was in and out of jail for his whole adult life.

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Beautiful-Report58@reddit

Yes, until we all started having families of our own. Social media has really helped with maintaining connections without much effort.

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rlw21564@reddit

I'm the only one who doesn't live in the state I grew up in so I didn't stay in touch with my cousins much until the last few years.

The ones on my mother's side get together for a beach trip that I go to and really enjoy keeping those connections.

And I see my cousins on my father's side a little more often now that both his sisters (he's deceased) live in the same town so it is easy to go visit all of them there now. But those cousins all have kids in middle and high school so they're pretty busy and I didn't get to see them on my last trip, just saw my aunts.

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damutecebu@reddit

I have four, only met two, and the last time I saw either one of them was over 30 years ago.

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abwaters97@reddit

Me, my siblings and cousins were all born in the US but our parents are from Ghana and in the Fante language there is no word for “cousin” so if I was referring to them in Fante they’d essentially be extra siblings. And we’ve kind of grown up with that sentiment and it’s contributed to the cousin group being very close but it’s definitely a culturally dependent/family style thing.

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paintnwood@reddit

We’ve got a big family, most of us were really close growing up, I’m still pretty close to a half dozen or so, the rest I don’t see.

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First-Stress-9893@reddit

I have one cousin I’m close to. I would have trouble recognizing the rest of them on the street if I saw them and probably couldn’t even tell you all their names.

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dangleicious13@reddit

I'm not. I only have the phone number of 2 of my 5 1st cousins. I haven't seen or spoken to 2 of the 5 in well over a decade. I don't even know where those 2 live.

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Old-Wolf-1024@reddit

Nope

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Particular-Ebb-8777@reddit

No. My family is so disperate any one of us could die and have trouble even recognizing we were related. The only context clue of being family would come from being informed the relative died. It's like trusting a nutrition label to be accurate.

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KimBrrr1975@reddit

Yes and no. Growing up I was very close with cousins, aunts and uncles. I'm almost 50 now, and still close with aunts/uncles but cousins it depends. I have cousins who turned into addict and alcoholics who mooch off their parents and are in and out of trouble (mind you we are all in our 40s-60s now and this behavior continues). So, I don't keep in touch with those cousins so much. When we have family events (just had a memorial yesterday) I am friendly with them, but I don't invite them into my life. I don't want them in my house or around my kids on a regular basis. But generally speaking, both myself and my husband are pretty close to extended family and have strong relationships with our parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and some cousins.

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WinterRevolutionary6@reddit

I’m not particularly close with them especially now that we’re all adults so I see them once in a blue moon. One lives in Colorado, one is currently traveling the country for funzies and the other is pretty autistic and has severe OCD so is heavily dependent on my aunt. Not a lot of sleepovers happening lol

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holymacaroley@reddit

Really depends on the family. I would have said my cousins who lived 3 hours away (the others lived 2000 miles away) and I were close, but once we hit thirties, I'm the only one ever reaching out. I know people who haven't spoken to extended family in decades. I know many people whose cousins are their best friends.

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Old_Day_5224@reddit

I haven’t talked to any of my cousins in years.

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BookHouseGirl398@reddit

As others have said, this is very dependent on each family.

I have 4 cousins.

One uncle had 1 child. She was 4 years younger than my dad.

One uncle had 3 children. The youngest of their family is the same age as my oldest brother. I'm the youngest of 3 children. Their dad and mom divorced when I was around 6, I think, and I didn't see any of them again until I was in my late 20s.

None of this was my parents' decision or any of the kids' decisions - just circumstances we had to live with. Fairly small families that were spread out and living far away from each other with drama between family members that cut off communication.

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PhasmaUrbomach@reddit

My cousins live all over the place. We're FB friends but we don't hang out.

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Lunar_M1nds@reddit

Used to be close to all of mine, weekends were my favorite just for going to a sleepover and doing the dumb things that kids do. But our parents for one reason or another couldn’t get along so we’re all adult strangers now. No ill will, just strangers. A few have reached out to me and i to them, it’s nice, family dysfunction was just too big for any of us to even try to manage before becoming adults ourselves. I dunno if we’ll ever reach that closeness again, since so many of us live so far away it’s hard to rebuild that. I hope to one day build a family that values closeness over being right

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Lazy_Sort_5261@reddit

The majority of my immediate family lives on another Coast from the rest of my family but on my mom's side all those cousins are very close and I have met all of them. They have traveled out here and stayed with us so I do have a Facebook relationship with them and if I were to go back east or they were to come out here we would see each other but I don't feel the closeness with them that they feel with each other.

On my dad's side some of those cousins are fairly close but not nearly as much they don't tend to get together as a whole group as often as my mom's side does.

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toodleroo@reddit

My mom’s family is catholic so I have 15 first cousins on that side of the family. On my dad’s side I have two. I have 4-5 that I would consider closer than acquaintances, but even those are not people that I talk to very often. I have them as contacts in my phone.

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Quirky_Commission_56@reddit

I’ve got two cousins and one of them was my childhood bully and a compulsive liar who I haven’t spoken to in decades now. The other cousin I’m on very good terms with and happily attended his wedding.

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ShoddyCobbler@reddit

I'm not at all close with any of my cousins. I have a LOT and we are friendly when we see each other but never see each other outside of family functions like weddings.

My partner is one of five cousins on his mom's side and they are all three years apart. He's the one right in the middle. He's an only child but on his mom's side they were all very close and even today (my partner is 41) still go on a family vacation together. The cousins even gave themselves a group nickname as kids and it is the name of their group text thread now as adults.

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Pitiable-Crescendo@reddit

No. There were a few I was close with, but I haven't talked to them since moving, years ago

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whoaheywait@reddit

I'm Mexican American and am not close with mine.

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JimmyB264@reddit

I grew up very close to my cousins on Botha sides of my family. We are all in our 60’s and older but still stay on contact.

Having cousins is such a wonderful thing. The connection is deep and lasting.

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MuppetManiac@reddit

All of my cousins are super dysfunctional. So no, absolutely not.

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rantmb331@reddit

We were never close geographically, but we all get along really well and have a good time when we do get together, which was once a year or so for a reunion for a while…

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Tooch10@reddit

This is me too. I have 3 other cousins, we're all about two years apart, I'm second oldest and have distance though by chance one lives 30 min away. I didn't see them for that yearly get together for over 10 years due to my job. I've seen some of them more often now. The oldest is nice but we don't have anything in common, two below me are siblings. One is fine, we get along, the other I get along with really well because we have lot in common

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Ok-Ad8998@reddit

Small family, but yes. I only ever had one cousin (Dad had no siblings, Mom just one sister) and she is like another sister to me.

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Silly-Resist8306@reddit

A lot of closeness comes from proximity. My cousins live 1200 miles (2000km) from me. We certainly know each other and stay in touch regarding significant dates and occasions, but it’s hard to share everyday events with someone that far away. The US is a big place and we have a mobile society.

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zabadaz-huh@reddit

I last saw a cousin 30 years ago.

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Decent_Cow@reddit

I'm not, at most I see them once or twice a year.

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BarRegular2684@reddit

Not really but there are good reasons for that. We’ve gotten closer as we’ve gotten older, but we also live hundreds of miles apart.

I honestly admire your ideal family, where cousins are close. I know immigrant families in some communities here were like that a few generations ago but once folks moved to the suburbs that stopped. My mom’s (Italian American) family was like that.

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captainstormy@reddit

Like everything in the US it depends on the people involved.

My wife's family is super close even as adults. Her cousins are basically like brothers and sisters to her.

For me, I don't even know most of my cousins. For the ones I do, I mainly only see them at funerals and such.

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iLiveInAHologram94@reddit

No. I have 5 cousins total 3 on my dads and 2 on my moms. My mom had a falling out with her sister before I was born and have never met her sister or my cousins.

My dad’s sister has three kids and they are 19-20 years older than me (two are twins) and live in states across the country from me. It would take a lot of money and time to see them. Not to mention we are always in very different places in our lives. I adore them though.

We were close with my dad’s second cousins for awhile though. I called them aunts but they are my second cousins once removed / they are my dads second cousins

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Poor_Olive_Snook@reddit

They're all MAGA so no

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_pamelab@reddit

I did not grow up around my cousins (1 first, a billion second). I know them, I've met them, I'm fine without them.

My mom grew up around all 40+ of her first cousins so on the rare occasion that we went to family events, everyone knew everyone else and then there was me. I have little in common with them so it's not a big deal now, but it's kind of isolating since my only sibling died.

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jgoolz@reddit

We all get along very well and love hanging out together at family gatherings, but we don’t go out of our way to get together otherwise. So I’d say somewhat.

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Delicious_Sir_1137@reddit

I used to be close to one of my cousins, now I’m not. My next cousins are much much younger than me, so not really.

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Educational-Cap8724@reddit

I have 21 cousins and for the most part we're all pretty close! A few live in different states so we see them less but we're always excited to see each other! We had a similar situation at our grandparents growing up; always there for holidays and weekends in the summers. Both my dad's parents have passed now but that side of the family is having a camp sleepover this weekend at their old summer cottage!

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Cowboywizard12@reddit

On my dads side, reasonably close. On my moms side, literal strangers to me

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MamaMidgePidge@reddit

On my dad's side, friendly with one and not on speaking terms with the rest, sadly. Inheritance disputes.

On my mom's side, friendly with the shared happy memories of family gatherings at the holidays at our grandparents, but I wouldn't say we are really close. We like each other's posts on Facebook, but we don't live near each other and have only a superficial knowledge of each others lives.

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The5thVikingHorseman@reddit

When we were little yes. Now not so much, especially since 2 of my female cousins and their husbands voted for Harris they've cut ties with me. Thanksgiving was the last time saw or talked to them. Their mom and brother voted for Trump so I still see them.

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thechusma@reddit

I definitely have a bond with a lot of them but I'm not as close to them as I'd like to be, mainly because of the tolls of adult life. For those of us that live in close proximity, I think we all silently agree we want to rekindle the bond with either our children or by participating in family events where the childless ones can still spend time with the young ones. (Mex-Americans)

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BrazenDuck@reddit

No, but my cousins were way older and lived an eight hour drive away. I text with one once in a while, but I was just closer to my siblings.

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ReverendToTheShadow@reddit

My mom’s family all lived 2 hours away in different directions, loved seeing them but it was rare. Dad’s family all lived in our same small town but our grandparents clearly liked both sets of cousins more than us, would go do fun things without us, even trips. We are all grown ass adults now and I still resent them. Only see them at funerals now

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AfterSchoolOrdinary@reddit

On side of my family yes, we are all close. The other side someone could die and I might not hear about it for months.

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im_in_hiding@reddit

I was, through highschool. But I moved away for college and grew apart. Proximity kept our relationship alive, once that was gone there was nothing there, we ultimately didn't have a lot in common

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agravain@reddit

when we were all young and our family all lived in the same state, yes. we would get together at grandma and grandpa's house for family get together and holidays.

now as adults, we live in different states. so we haven't been together except for major family events like a wedding or something else like that.

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Dangerous-Lunch647@reddit

I have met my cousins a few times, that’s it.

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Seuss221@reddit

Yes , my kids as welll , they have cousins game nights cousins dinners

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Tynelia23@reddit

My cousins live in another state, about 430mi away. Well, most of them; some are even more scattered across the US than that.

For the European folks, that's just a little farther than driving from Munich, Germany to Florence, Italy.

So I very rarely get to see them now that we're all grown adults. As children of boomers, we got to meet up at major holidays & over the summer. Now, with us having to book the vacation time or fund it? There's just no way. Even trying for once a year is difficult. I wish them well, but there are some cousins I may not even recognize if they passed me in a grocery store.

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Outrageous-Pin-4664@reddit

I spent a lot of time hanging out with cousins when I was a kid. We did a lot of visiting back and forth, stayed over at each other's houses. Just like you describe with your cousins.

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mkgrant213@reddit

From Massachusetts, grew up having holidays together and that was it. Mine are basically strangers who I share some DNA with. I know more about some of my coworkers than I do my cousins. I wish them nothing but the best and hope they are happy and healthy but I'd be fine if I never saw them again.

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buginmybeer24@reddit

I used to see my cousins at every holiday. I haven't seen any of them since my grandmother died 10 years ago.

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hungaryboii@reddit

I am one of 30 grandchildren so I have a ton of cousins, pretty close and friendly with most of them but there are a few I avoid at family gatherings lol

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sheburn118@reddit

It depends. Some cousins I'm super close with, some I wouldn't recognize if I saw them face to face. My parents had 6 and 7 siblings, so there's a lot of cousins.

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PerfectlyCalmDude@reddit

Closer with some than with others.

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That_Girl_Cray@reddit

Yes. I grew up with my cousin's being more like siblings. Often living in the home together. However, this wasn't common and I remember thinking it was weird when I learned that it wasnt that way for most people. Later learning that its just more common among certian groups.

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AbjectHyena1465@reddit

My cousins are like my sisters amd we are SUPER close. My immediate family? Good riddens! They are awful!

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2baverage@reddit

Depends on the family and culture, but in my case yes. Growing up, cousins were more like siblings, aunts and uncles were second moms. Now as adults my cousins and I hang out quite a bit when our schedules allow but everyone ended up with wildly different lives, so it's a nightmare to schedule.

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heatrealist@reddit

My parents are immigrants from different backgrounds. Cousins from mother’s side may as well have been siblings. We were always together especially if close in age. From father’s side I only met a few times growing up.

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MattinglyDineen@reddit

No. I’ve never met most of them.

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kbivs@reddit

So, I never had any cousins at all (mom an only child and dad had one sister with no kids). But my husband had cousins which was so exciting for me! They were all super close, even lived together for a time when their mom's (sisters) were going through some hard times. As everyone grew up and started having their own kids, they're all still close. The kids are close, the adults are close. It's pretty amazing. Even though we're scattered throughout several states, we still see them when we can, we vacation together sometimes, they plan fishing trips, we definitely see them for Thanksgiving every year, etc.

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RRR-Mimi-3611@reddit

I was very close to my dozens of cousins until they all turned into MAGAts. Now I only talk to the two who didn’t lose their minds and morals.

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Brother-Algea@reddit

Nope. Age gap too big plus they’re those “I’m religious so I’m better than you are” type.

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PostTurtle84@reddit

No. We're spread out across the US. I know my cousins from my mom's side better, because we at least grew up in the same state. But I have zero contact with 1 cousin on dad's side and minimal (maybe once every 5 years) contact with the other.

It may also have something to do with the fact that I only have 4 cousins total, that we know of.

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BringBackApollo2023@reddit

I didn’t even know if I have any, which I guess tells you how close my family is.

Heck, I had to look up the definition of “cousin.”

Turns out I do, but I haven’t had any communication with them in decades.

😂

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Fnthsch592@reddit

Not really, largely because of the age difference/location. Most cousins on one side of the family live nearby but are significantly older, and the ones on the other side are a similar age to me and my siblings but live in another state, I’ve seen them maybe twice in the last 20 years.

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Plum_pipe_ballroom@reddit

Nope. If I saw one out in the wild I probably wouldn't even recognize them. However my spouse is extremely close to all their cousins and we drive 4 states over for most occasions /events they have.

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Baby_In_A-Trenchcoat@reddit

Just one pretty much

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StarshineOrca@reddit

I grew up with all my cousins. We’re not too close now but stay in touch.

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you_know_who_7199@reddit

I have about 60 first cousins (counting both sides of my family), so it is impractical for me to be close with all of them, but I do have some cousins that I am closer with, either because we're close in age and grew up sorta together or we had some common experiences.

I do hang out with most of my cousins from time to time, but they're sorta infrequent and usually around holidays like Thanksgiving or Christmas or at large family events like weddings.

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Mellied89@reddit

In my family on my dad's side yes very. Dad's side is half Italian/Puerto Rican and a we all grew up together, and now their kids grow up together

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giraflor@reddit

I’m closer with some than others. I grew up on the same street with one set so we not only played together frequently, but we shared food and clothing. Others I saw once a year at best. I never met one cousin, now deceased, because his dad and mine were estranged my entire childhood.

As adults, I’m closest with the cousins who have children around the same age as my children —even if we live far apart. We shared parenting advice and resources about education and health. In this way, I’ve become closer with some that I didn’t know well growing up.

We’re all middle-aged now and I think our relationships may change again. Some of us are already bonding over empty nesting and eldercare for parents.

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KirbyRock@reddit

Nonexistent. We only talk during big family emergencies, which hasn’t happened in years. They’re all 10-20 years older than me, so that’s another reason we just never bonded as kids. Our mothers are all toxic af, so they didn’t make attempts to get together over the years.

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Due-Cry-1862@reddit

Tbh, because our family moved away from the part of the country where my father was from when I was one year old , I would not know what any of my cousins even look like. As for my mother’s side, I only have three cousins I recognize-and we are estranged- as her family emigrated when she was a child and never went back. So cousins are not, and never have been, any significant aspect of my life.

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Winter-Wonder-2016@reddit

With 1. I only have 2.

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On_my_last_spoon@reddit

I haven’t seen my cousins in years. We all live in different parts of the US.

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ABelleWriter@reddit

I'm close to one of my cousins. But that didn't happen until she was an adult because she is 14 years younger than me.

But all of my cousins are at least a decade younger than me.

I've never even met one of my cousins (my aunt moved north, we moved south, it's about a 16 hour drive).

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Impressive_Ad8715@reddit

It definitely depends on the family, and sometimes even within the family… I have 18 first cousins on my mom’s side of the family… im close with maybe 5 or 6 of them. The others I don’t see that often. Some I haven’t seen in close to a decade even though most live not that far away. Part of it is the age range too. There’s like a 40 year age range between my oldest and youngest cousin

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Adorable_Dust3799@reddit

I have 1 uncle and 5 cousins. 4 of them are old enough to have kids my age. Also dad was military. I'm not sure i even met the older 2. The one that's close to my age and the youngest of the other 4 i kinda know. I mean if she said hi I'd recognize her. One does genealogy so we've gotten together several times. Im in southern California now and they're northern.

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aunttiffany@reddit

No, we don’t really have anything in common. I have two cousins that are much older than me, like college-aged when I was born. My other cousins are close in age but very different in lifestyle and I can’t see myself hanging out with them.

I am a little jealous of those with close cousins! It seems like a more interesting dynamic and family is really important to me. I wish my own kids could have that close cousin relationship, but unfortunately their only cousins live in another country.

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farmerbsd17@reddit

No. My cousins were much older and we never hung out. Oldest one now in elder care with her son taking care of her. Other one is destitute but only asks for help and won’t take any advice; I am connected well to her son; we text periodically and I send him a birthday message yearly.

Other distant cousins are not in touch because my mother died in 1967 and she was an only child and connected to her family solely.

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LakeWorldly6568@reddit

Depends on your family and several other factors.

For instance, my cousins are almost all a bit older than me. One is the same age as me, but the other 18 range from 8 years older than me to 20 years my senor. We are largely different generations, with me as a solidly in th middle of the millennials, while they identify as gen x. Heck, one of them had 2 sons that were older than me (1 and 2 years older, respectively). As an adult, this is less of a barrier than as a kid. They grew up as regular playmates with each other, but the age difference prevented that for me.

There's also geological distance. Again, 8 are in the same state as me, while 8 are scattered across the country (and 3 have passed). I do have BBQs or meet up at a restaurant with the ones nearby, and I will go on vacation to visit the other 8 (but those are limited by how little vacation time Americans get).

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3catlove@reddit

I don’t live near any of my cousins but we follow each other on facebook. We are not really close but if they were in the area I would go visit most of them.

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Life_Grade1900@reddit

My one cousin was adopted and is a fat narcissist who is ruining her kids.

The second one is a literal homewtecker

The third one I've never spoken to.

So no, not close

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BloodyBarbieBrains@reddit

I’m close with my cousins, but that’s probably because I’m from a multicultural/multiracial family. TBH, the white Americans that I know aren’t close with their cousins, and they think it’s weird how close I am with my cousins. Frankly, I find the frigidity of white Americans toward their extended family to be the weird thing. I wish that I weren’t forced to make this observation along racial lines, but it is what I’ve honestly noticed.

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misawa_EE@reddit

We were closer when we were younger and are spread out all across the country now and have families and whatnot that make get together near impossible.

But I would drop everything and jump on the first plane available if they said they needed it.

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Ordinary-Exam4114@reddit

I am close to most of my cousins. I am the oldest on both sides of my family. I only call one to chat, but I love getting together with all of them at family functions. I live hours away from all of them. My husband is not close to any of his cousins. He is closer in age to his cousins. I think it's weird that he doesn't have more of a relationship with cousins, but he has a good relationship with his brothers and sisters.

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WrongJohnSilver@reddit

No, but that's mainly because there's a 20-year gap between the ages of my siblings and me, and any of our cousins. They're all older on my mother's side, and all younger on my father's side. We also all live in different states.

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SnooChipmunks2079@reddit

No first cousins. None of my more distant cousins live anywhere close. I don’t believe that I’ve seen any of them (and there are a lot) since my early teens.

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IntroductionTotal767@reddit

I live here now, but i was the Pakistani cousin who didnt live near everyone else. So no i didnt until i was in my 20s/30s and we get along really well now and i love them.

But interestingly, a majority of them are socially pretty weird bc they were used to this setup.

Bc i was more on the fringe, I learned how to make deep friendships outside my family and that really helped me with work and school. My cousins all grew up w very few actual friends and spent their time blowing up a group chat in their phone for 15 ywars instead of living in the place they actually lived. It is kind of weird to be honest.

it can be nice to be raised w your cousins but it can,,if unchecked, hinder your ability to connect w and get along w real people who arent related to you.

Some of my cousins have lived in cities for decades at this stage and dont have any friend groups except our other cousins and it is super weird. I love going to cousin meetups but without my real chosen friends from college/beyond, life would be incredibly lonely. Like why bother going to different schools or countries wasting money. Everybody coulda stayed home and gone to aga khan and i feel like theyd be happier. its happened more than once that i visit my cousin where they live during a work trip or something and suggest a place literally near them and theyre like woah ive never seen this place. Youve been here 10 years?

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GoCardinal07@reddit

No. I have three dozen first cousins. The 8 on my father's side are geographically distant (4 of them are in the ancestral country). Of the 28 on my mom's side, most are geographically close, but I only see them 1-2 times per year.

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eac555@reddit

Haven’t seen the cousins on my dad’s side for decades. We were never close. On my mom’s side I have an occasional contact on social media with a couple. Text here and there plus social media with another. We have small family.

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GoCardinal07@reddit

No. I have three dozen of them. The 8 on my father's side are geographically distant (4 of them are in the ancestral country). Of the 24 on my mom's side, most are geographically close, but I only see them 1-2 times per year.

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chickenfightyourmom@reddit

Yes, I grew up close to my cousins. I'm closer to some than others now as an adult.

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No_Foundation7308@reddit

Extremely similar from your childhood experience. But now that I’m grown, I haven’t talked to or seen many in years or even decades.

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ToughFriendly9763@reddit

i have a LOT of first cousins spread across North America, and haven't met all of them. I'm close with some but not others. Most of them are significantly older than me, and several have kids around my age.

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Danibear285@reddit

Maybe we live in big country compared to small country

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ihatethesidebar@reddit

A lot of these comments surprise me. I’m very close with nearly all of my cousins.

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Judgy-Introvert@reddit

Nope. There are some I’ve never even met. I didn’t know my grandparents on either side very well either.

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AKA-Pseudonym@reddit

Nope. Reading stories in relationship subs where everybody has day-to-day contact with aunts and uncles and cousins is like reading about aliens.

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Curious-Cranberry-27@reddit

My cousins are all 15-20 years older than me. I know they would be there for me whenever I needed anything, but they feel more like an aunt or uncle, then a cousin.

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ForestOranges@reddit

My cousins who grew up living near each other are all very close. I used to be pretty close and have a lot of fun with them when we’d see each other at family gatherings as kids, but we just drifted apart as we got older. If we interact it’s usually through social media.

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SadoraNortica@reddit

No. But my husband is and my kids are.

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accountofyawaworht@reddit

My cousins run the gamut between “practically siblings” and “practically strangers”.

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No_Entertainment1931@reddit

No.

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Glittering-Eye2856@reddit

Used to be as kids and young adults, now, in my 50’s not at all. Two have already died, one from cancer the other from a widow maker heart attack, he was lucky, died in his sleep. His dad also died of the same thing. The third from the same set of parents is alive, but not close at all due to his politics. 😑

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phonesmahones@reddit

Yes. I’m close with many of my cousins. My parents always made a point of emphasizing how important family is.

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SunnyCynic@reddit

They’re all very close, but I distanced myself for them.

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TheAwesomeTree@reddit

Almost non existent, I don’t have any cousins near me.

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Apprehensive_Yard_14@reddit

My cousins were more like my siblings growing up. As adults, not so much

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Elevenyearstoomany@reddit

It depends on the family. My aunts and uncles were more spread out, they moved away while my parents stayed closer to my grandparents. I only saw my cousins on my dad’s side 1-2 times a year because it was a 12+ hour drive. We’re still not close. My cousins on my mom’s side were a 5 hour drive but I saw them more often. We don’t see each other much now but when we get together it’s like no time has passed and we all pick up where we left off.

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whatever_rita@reddit

I like my cousins but I’m not close to them. I grew up about 4 states away from most of them. I see them every couple years at a family reunion. One has moved to my city so I see him more often now but not very often

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Cold-Call-8374@reddit

Not really. None of them lived in the same town as me, and we are separated by age. I'm ten years younger than the next youngest first cousin and eight years older than the oldest second cousins.

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GotchUrarse@reddit

My closest family member is my female cousin (I'm male). I have brother, but we're don't talk as much. She lives about 1200 miles away, so it's almost entirely text communication.

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Occasionally_Sober1@reddit

We used to be close, not so much anymore. I mainly see them at weddings and funerals. It’s always great to connect with them.

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SunGreen24@reddit

I only have three first cousins on my mother’s side. When we were little, they lived in the same town and the families always did stuff together. When I was in college, they moved out of state and we saw them a few times a year and eventually drifted apart as everyone got married and had kids, etc. I haven’t seen any of them for years.

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cholaw@reddit

I'm older, my parents are gone. Same with my cousins. But we are so close they feel like siblings

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MorningAngel420@reddit

Hell, no! They’re weird and they are Democrats lol. Most of them are in Chicago and I’m in Texas.

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Separate_Farm7131@reddit

I did not grow up near any of my cousins, so we aren't really close. Those who did grow up near each other, are.

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KellyAnn3106@reddit

Not at all. We all grew up in different states. As kids, we'd see each other once every few years. As adults, we don't have any contact. I don't even have any of their phone numbers at this point.

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Imaginary_Ladder_917@reddit

I am close with my cousins, and see most of them yearly. I was never close enough to go on trips with them, but definitely have a good relationship with them. I have15 on my mom’s side and 8 on my Dad’s. A few of those I am not in much contact with but the rest I see or talk to at least once a year and I always enjoy seeing them. My dad’s side of the family has a big WhatsApp group that is pretty active. I’m actually closer to second cousins on my dad‘s side then I am to some of my first cousins

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Extreme-Onion6731@reddit

By American standards, I have a lot of first cousins (~30). Some, I'm very close with. Others, less so. There are a couple that I haven't seen in decades and probably wouldn't recognize at first. My kids are young and are pretty close to all of their first cousins and some of their second cousins (my cousins' kids).

All of us would pitch in to help each other in an emergency - even the ones we aren't super close with. Because we're family, and that's what our family does.

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Difficult_Ad_3592@reddit

I have no siblings and treat my cousins as thought they were my siblings. We live in different parts of the country and don’t see each other much, but we talk often and I love them so much

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Living_Implement_169@reddit

I did until I moved. Now it’s just texting pictures once in a while.

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TsundereLoliDragon@reddit

No, but my kids are with theirs.

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HaltandCatchHands@reddit

We were close with my cousins on my mom’s side, but that all blew up after my aunts and uncle started some crazy drama.

My cousin called me when she went into labor to have me watch her twins. She didn’t tell me it was because she didn’t want her mom to know she was in labor (I now know my aunt is an alcoholic narcissist, but she was my favorite growing up; I wasn’t subjected to her abuse and didn’t know about it until later). So Auntie calls while I’m babysitting and I picked up.

Now it’s a big thing. She crashes out, comes to cousin’s house and then leaves for the hospital. My parents come to the house when they hear what’s going on, and I leave. Aunt is kicked out of hospital, comes back to cousin’s house, and accuses my mom of alienating her kids and sleeping with her husband. My mom doesn’t even know which one she’s talking about.

Turns out her ex husband told aunt that he slept with my mom to hurt her when they were getting a divorce. She lit his car on fire and told my other aunt about it, but never said a word to my mom.

Keep in mind that in the meantime, we spent every holiday together, my aunt lived in our basement for a while after her second husband died, and both of her daughters lived with us at different times (not at the same time as their mother). So we are supposed to belief that this violent alcoholic just silently forgave my mom. Obviously she didn’t believe her ex, and by the time these allegations came out, he was dead.

Second aunt, who is just a nut job, backed up first aunt on the adultery claims. This aunt also lived with us at some point, but lived states away while I was younger so I’m not close with her or her daughters, one of whom is also insane.

The original cousin whose labor kicked off this whole saga forgave her mother after she went to rehab. But Aunt is a dry drunk (and sometimes a wet one) and I realized that this cousin is very similar to her awful parents. My other cousin is nicer, but she is envious of me and it comes out in catty ways sometimes, so I am not close with either of them anymore.

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pippintook24@reddit

I am not. We used to be when we were kids. I'd spend the night at their house, especially for our birthdays and Christmas. When my dad died, my mom ended up living with my aunt ( there were circumstances that prevented me or my sisters from taking her in), and she used her divorce, that happened decades earlier, as an excuse to abuse my mom. as soon as I was able, I moved my mom into my house and went NC with my aunt and her family.

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only1dragon@reddit

I did not have any family. My father had some brothers but I never met them and I am sure they had kids, I never met nor do I even know their names.

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No-Lunch4249@reddit

I think this depends in the US entirely on how far flung your parent's siblings are as they go through life

I'm VERY close with my cousins on my dad's side, all my dad's siblings but one live in the same city as us so I see them alot

On my mom's side, her sisters (my aunts) all live in different cities or states, so I dont see their kids (my cousins) hardly ever

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unibonger@reddit

I’m closer with some more than others. The reciprocal effort is really what makes the difference, just like with friendships. If I’m always the one making the effort to call, catch up or make plans, then at some point I’ll get tired of being the one who always initiates.

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wieldymouse@reddit

No, we only saw my dad's family during holiday functions and my mom's even less since they lived in different states/countries.

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boopbaboop@reddit

There were multiple kids in the town I grew up in who were in the same class as their cousins. I was always a bit jealous of those kids, because my cousins are in another state twelve hours away and another country, respectively, so I have almost no relationship with them.

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betterbetterthings@reddit

I run in to it lot with my students. Last year there were three cousins in the same class, but none of the cousins were siblings so they were all from different parents. I think it happens in a big family.

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Nicetonotmeetyou@reddit

My cousins were cool until most of them turned Trumpy. Now you would t catch me going near them.

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Jillio_NH@reddit

We have cousins reunions where we all get together since we are so spread out now. Last year we went to Nashville, Tennessee for a weekend and went to a football game as a big group. It was amazing! I love my family.

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Salty-Ambition9733@reddit

We were close when younger, but not now.

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betterbetterthings@reddit

There are no rules. It depends how family lives play out.

My daughter has two cousins and is very close to one that’s close to age. Grew up together almost like siblings. Now as they are adults, he and his wife are also close to my daughter and her husband as couples. They all hang out.

I am not close to my cousins as we didn’t grow up anywhere close geographically. I see one for lunch here and there because she lives local but that’s about it

My husband doesn’t keep in touch with his cousins. We see them at big family reunions only. They are kind of rough around the edges.

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Yankee_chef_nen@reddit

It varies by family. Of my 8 1st cousins I have two I’ve never met.

For my family I lived in different states from my cousins so I only saw them at family holiday gatherings.

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TheBimpo@reddit

No. The ones that I grew up living nearby are much older than me, and the ones that are close to my age lived far away. Some of them I see a few times a year, some of them I haven’t seen in 10+ years and probably never will again.

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-Boston-Terrier-@reddit

I talk to and see my cousin’s on my mom’s side of the family all the time but have almost no relationship with my dad’s side of the family at all for reasons that are almost entirely my fault.

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eloquentmuse86@reddit

As a child I hung out with my cousins a good bit. Now that we’re all grown we’re all busy with our families and live further apart. I only see updates of them on FB now.

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fattycatty6@reddit

There were 8 years between my mom and her sister. My mom was 34 when she had me. My cousins were in college when I first remember even knowing who they were. One of my cousin's children is actually only 8 years younger than me. No we are not close and I'm fine with that. (And we all, with the exception of one, live within 2 or 3 towns of each other 😆)

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Ragtime07@reddit

Absolutely, I am extremely close with all of my cousins. We’re all grown now but still pretty tight. I have kids and they are the same way. My 6 year old FaceTimes with her cousin all the time (we live hours away from each other). I’ve never really thought about though. I guess I’ve assumed everyone is close with family?

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Duque_de_Osuna@reddit

Nope

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The_Menu_Guy@reddit

I get along very well with a few of my cousins, but we do not live near each other at all, so I cannot say we are close.

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Cruitire@reddit

I live within five minutes of at least five cousins.

I live within an hour drive of at least 60 cousins.

I do something with at least one cousins every week. Usually it involves multiple cousins.

I just got back from a 3 week vacation with two of my cousins.

So yeah, I’m close with my cousins. Most of them at least.

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mothertuna@reddit

I am Black American and grew up with plenty of first cousins as well as the children of my mother’s cousins. I am very close to one and do still have relationships with some of them.

By contrast, pretty much the only white people I know who spend time with or know cousins well were people who grew up lower income or who’s family didn’t move far away.

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TwincessAhsokaAarmau@reddit

Yes, we celebrate family occasions together with food and games and tell each other what’s going on in our lives.

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UltraShadowArbiter@reddit

Nope. Growing up, I'd see my cousins maybe 2 or 3 times a year at most. Probably doesn't help that they and their parents are the family weirdos.

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Forsythia77@reddit

All of my first cousins are 15 or so years my senior minimum and they all grew up/lived in Pennsylvania. My parents met/married in Indiana and still live in Indiana. So, not really.

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Careless-Ability-748@reddit

No. When we were kids and lived near each other, I was close to one of them. I haven't seen any of my cousins in over 25 years, all at different funerals.

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rikityrokityree@reddit

1st cousins— huge age differences. Im the same age as their kids, and we all didnt see each other much

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Other_Big5179@reddit

I did. im adopted but when i moved away i cut ties. my family is hyper religious and i cant put up with that

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FunkySalamander1@reddit

I was when I was young and lived next door. I’ve lost contact with most of them over the years because I moved away.

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GottaBeBoogyin@reddit

I am close to my cousins. We share a large cabin and 120 acres. Split taxes, upkeep, hanging out.

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Zadojla@reddit

I had four cousins. I don’t know their names and never met them. They are almost certainly all dead by this time.

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sierra-echo-november@reddit

Really varies family to family. Personally my cousins (moms side) are people that I enjoy the company of, at holidays and family gatherings. On my dad’s side I haven’t seen either of them in years. My fiancée hasn’t seen her cousins at all since she was a kid.

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gigistuart@reddit

I have a number of very close cousins- one is and has been my best friend since we were kids x it’s the best

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smugbox@reddit

I have two on my mom’s side that are 12 and 15 years younger than me, so we obviously didn’t play together as kids and never became close. I only see them on Christmas and Thanksgiving. They both grew up to be kind of weird and, other than having the same grandparents, I have nothing in common with either of them now that we’re all adults. They’re nice, but one is a meganerd and the other is a horse girl. Both super awkward.

On my dad’s side, I had two, now one, both slightly older than me. I was an infant when I met them but my dad was always semi-estranged from his family and is now fully estranged. One of them found me on social media after my uncle died to see if my dad would pay for the funeral, which he was definitely unable to do, and pretty unwilling to at that. Other than that I have never spoken to her in my life.

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DatTomahawk@reddit

I barely know them and haven't seen any of them in years. If I walked past one on the street, I doubt I'd even recognize them.

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VisibleSea4533@reddit

No. On my mom’s side I only have one. I like them, and we talk when we see each other, but they were 10 years younger than me, so we did not grow up together really. Dads side I have a few of them, but parents got divorced when I was five, so never saw them all too much except maybe a bit during the summer. They all lived, and still live, across the country.

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ActuaLogic@reddit

I live 700 miles away from my cousins, which is pretty common in the US, but my kids have cousins who are relatively nearby, and they seem to be fairly close.

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PresentationFluffy24@reddit

We were all very close growing up. But I moved away and started a family and when I visit home I'm usually just seeing my immediate family.

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cautiously-curious65@reddit

I’m not sure I’m the best example, but we used to be super close.

My grandparents on my mother’s side are actually first cousins.. so… practically everyone on that side of my family is a cousin to some degree. They got married in Ireland and moved here.

And now a quarter of my cousins are in prison, a quarter went crazy either with their religion or their racism or homophobia, a quarter are actually crazy, and the last quarter are boring.

I’m the second oldest of about 25 first cousins on my mother’s side, and I have 1 on my father’s side. I speak to the one on my father’s side once a month.

If we get into second cousins, and once removed and all that it gets very confusing..

I have long since learned that sharing genes is not enough of a reason to be in my life. We are all adults. If they cared, they’d reach out.

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SuperPomegranate7933@reddit

Just one. We grew up together & were more like sisters as kids.

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Western_Nebula9624@reddit

I think it depends on a lot of things. I have cousins quite a bit older than me - teenagers when I was born, and I have cousins quite a bit younger than me (I babysat some of them. I'm not really close with any of them because we've always been at different places in our lives. I have one cousin who is closer to my age, but we lived far apart when we were younger and even farther now that we're adults.

I know people who are close to their cousins, it just hasn't worked out that way for me

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mitchdwx@reddit

Nope. They live in a different area of the country, I’m 10+ years older than all of them (I’m 31), and I haven’t even seen any of them in years.

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REC_HLTH@reddit

Similar here. My sibling and I are the oldest by several years on one side (similar ages to cousins the other) and we didn’t grown up near any cousins.

We are on good terms with all of them (although one is a bit stand-off-ish, but I don’t think it’s us just the way she is) and we enjoy them okay when we see them, but it is infrequent, at best.

On one side, all our cousins are siblings and they are very close with each other. On the other side, there are more cousins from more families and I think I think most of them get along with each other, especially the ones who live close to each other. A few don’t get along with others (grandparents/parents/aunts/uncles) but i think all the cousins are fine. I always enjoy them when I see them. I saw some cousins earlier this year, but some I haven’t seen in a long time ~ 20 years? maybe.

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ArtemisElizabeth1533@reddit

This is my sister- my dad is 10 years younger than his siblings so naturally all of my cousins are much older. The oldest one is 13 years older than me!

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6894@reddit

Not anymore. We used to see each other a few times a year. Haven't seen any or them since before the pandemic.

Don't want to see a few of them either, that whole side of the family fell off the deep end and were sorta estranged now.

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fraurodin@reddit

I think it depends on the dynamics of the family, I grew up with a bunch of cousins and we were always together at family parties, but I moved to a different part of the state and then to a completely different state when I was fairly young.

I wouldn't exactly say I'm still close to any of my cousins anymore, I barely talk to them, might interact on social media, but I'm not going out of my way to talk to them. It probably has more to do with me not liking who they've become due to politics.

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FormerlyDK@reddit

No, we didn’t grow up together, live spread out all over the country, and some I barely even know.

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Ineffable7980x@reddit

I have a very small family. My dad was an only child and my mom had one sister. Therefore I only have three cousins. I get along with all three of them, but I'm only close with one and that's largely because he lives less than an hour from me and I see him frequently. The others live in different states and I only see them on holidays.

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Traditional_Entry183@reddit

Im the oldest of ten cousins on my mom's side, so that certainly had an effect on my relationship with the rest. Ive also always been quiet and kept to myself, while many of the younger ones were more outgoing. I also moved away from my hometown for university and never moved back, so since the point that I was 18 (and the rest were in grade school to high school), I've only seen them on holidays. These days, occasionally see two or three of them at Thanksgiving.

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Frillback@reddit

Yes I am close. My family is Filipino American and I grew up playing with all my cousins. My aunties would take turns watching us. Nowadays, we live far but when we see each other again it's like no time has passed.

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AltDaddy@reddit

I would very much like to be closer to my cousins, but they are firmly in the orange guys cult and I just can’t deal with it (I am a gay man). We are cordial when we’re together, but not much contact outside of a family get together.

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JVBVIV@reddit

I have three classes of cousins. First are the “sibling cousins”. These are the ones grew up with, spent summers with, and the like. We are close, almost like siblings. Second are the regular cousins. We get along fine, but they lived far enough away that we never spent much time together. If we do spend time together it isn’t awkward but we don’t have the same shared history. Lastly there are the “Who?” cousins. Ones that I have had much little contact with they might as well be strangers.

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Tristinmathemusician@reddit

For a while, yeah. My closest was my cousin named Jack. But when we became adults he got into a trade job and I got into retail work so, in addition to us being many hours away, our schedules would always conflict. The last time I saw him was probably like 3 or 4 years ago. He seems to be doing fine though.

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drsfmd@reddit

I have 6 first cousins. I'm connected to one of them on facebook but haven't seen him in the flesh in over 20 years. 2 I haven't see in 40+ years, don't know where they live or how I'd ever get a hold of them. One I haven't seen in 10+ years and wouldn't know how to contact if I wanted to. 2 I see once or twice a year at my mom's, but I don't know how I'd get a hold of them without my mom.

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sammysbud@reddit

Personally… I’m friendly to avoid causing any family drama, but keep my intentional distance. They have political/religious views that want to harm people like me. I wouldn’t invite them to my wedding, and have gotten out of attending theirs.

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BadgeringMagpie@reddit

The cousin I was close with has been dead almost 17 years (more than half my life). I'm not close with his sister at all.

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emotions1026@reddit

Yes I still speak to many of my cousins as an adult.

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river-running@reddit

It's going to vary massively depending on individual families and their cultural backgrounds. All my cousins grew up in different states and we still live pretty far apart so we don't see each other often. I only regularly talk to one out of four but I love all of them and would do whatever I could for them if they needed my help.

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morganalefaye125@reddit

My cousins (and most of my family) lived/live far away, so we never formed any close bonds. It's pretty much, we know who each other are, but nothing else

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Kamena90@reddit

With my first cousins, sure. life gets in the way of hanging out more often than not, but we are still good friends. My cousins beyond that have drifted pretty far and I'm not close to them anymore. They are the ones close to my mom's age though.

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Fire_Mission@reddit

As children, yes, very often. As adults, I maybe see them at Christmas. Everyone grows up, often move away, in different parts of the state or to different states.

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Aaarrrgghh1@reddit

I was when I was little. Now as an adult no. However I’ve also moved 1000 miles away. And I’d walk 1k more to live a better life

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MobileBig8228@reddit

my cousins were my best friends growing up, but as we became adults we stopped. kinda normal not to be super close with your family once youre an adult

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bonerland11@reddit

No. But when one of them passes away I'm expected to go to their funerals for some reason.

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karer3is@reddit

I am now... The problem I had growing up is that my extended family is geographically all over the place. But now that we're adults and can make our own plans, I meet up with them every chance I get

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seecarlytrip@reddit

I was as a child but no longer am. However, my husband is close to his. As a matter of fact, they are some of our best friends.

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wyerhel@reddit

Ehh. Not anymore. After we immigrated. We only see each other when someone dies or marries.

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GoldZealousideal6892@reddit

I used to be close to them but some of them moved far away and we don’t talk very often anymore, but when we do get together it’s just like old times

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scrappapermusings@reddit

I used to be close as siblings with my cousins. And technically I think I still am, but that's not saying much because I only interact with people outside my home very Infrequently.

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Vivid-Fennel3234@reddit

I have one cousin on my dad’s side, but have never actually met her. We Skyped very briefly about 15 years ago but that’s the only time we’ve spoken outside that.

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Ok_Persimmon_5961@reddit

I grew up with my cousins on my mother’s side. Back when I was a kid we lived in a rural area and we sort of had traditional things we did that we don’t do anymore. We got together and had a big family meal on Sunday after church. It was on a farm out in the country so all the cousins would run around and play until the food was ready. These were first cousins, second cousins and even distant cousins on my mom’s side that I’m not even sure of the relationship. I saw my first cousins the most though, specifically my female cousins. We’re still close and see each other a lot.

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fbibmacklin@reddit

I am in cousins group text with all but one of my first cousins on my dad’s side. I have other cousins I’m close too, too but after 2nd or 3rd cousins, they are mostly strangers.

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Constant-Security525@reddit

Unfortunately, pretty much no relationships with my cousins for various reasons. The most benign are physical distances and age differences.

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Over_Construction908@reddit

For me, my family had gatherings three times a year with our cousins. We also socialized with our aunts and uncles in between those times. Now everyone is grown up and moved away. Nobody really comes back to have family gatherings anymore so in my experience it was during my childhood until about my mid 20s that we had regular socialization with our cousins

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coronarybee@reddit

Yes and no. Most on one side are 15-20 years older than me, so not really at all for them. I’m genuinely closer in age to their children than I am to them.

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Darth_Lacey@reddit

I used to be, hypothetically. It was more like they were close with each other and I was also there

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Worried_Ocelot_5370@reddit

I am not. Most of my mom's family lives out of state and always has. My dad peaced out early on and I never knew his family. My step-dad doesn't have siblings so no cousins there.

My husband grew up in a tight knit family and he was close with his cousins growing up. The family isn't quite as close these days but we see them on holidays or randomly.

My kids have a ton of cousins and they have sleepovers at my MIL's house every other weekend so they're fairly close.

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SherryGabs@reddit

In my family I’m not close to them because they’re older than me and I had rarely seen them. There’s only a few. I’m closer to my husband’s cousins. There’s many of them and we see them yearly at family reunions.

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RickMoneyRS@reddit

I think it's very common to be close with your first cousins. While some families are close with more distant cousins, I think that's pretty uncommon.

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Ok-Trouble7956@reddit

Never seemed to fit in with my cousins on my father's side and I only saw them a few times a year. Visits were just uncomfortable and I'm not in contact with them as an adult. On my mother's side I have one cousin but there's a 12 year age difference so we were never close

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shriekingintothevoid@reddit

Unfortunately, I live pretty far from my cousins, but I love all the ones I meet up with/used to meet up with often! Especially my little cousins, I’ve only got a two but I absolutely adore them both 🥰🥰

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Ms-Metal@reddit

I don't even know my cousins. I've only met them a couple of times in my life, I only have two of them in this country. My husband has probably a hundred and he knows a couple of them very well, the ones he grew up with but in the US the problem is that most people move all the time and people are very separated and multiple states, so anybody who's in another state, which is the best majority, he won't know. In fact we found out that some of them live in the state we move to and we didn't even know it! When I was little, the two cousins that eventually we were born, always lived in States very far away from me so I never got to know them and honestly I wouldn't recognize them if I ran into them on the street tomorrow.

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ArtemisElizabeth1533@reddit

Hahahha Not in my family. There’s a two fold issue for me.

My dad is the baby, a decade younger than both his siblings. My oldest cousin is about 13 years older than me. We never had a relationship when I was a child. All 4 of them were adults or late teens by the time I was becoming a “Kid” 5-7 etc. My youngest cousin is 8 years older than me.
Now two of the 3 are big Trump supporters. I chose not to have them in my life. One other lives 3 hours from me so we see each other once a year or so. The fourth one I never had a relationship with and he lives in another state.

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oylaura@reddit

Yes, at least I was.

I have three cousins. Our mothers were sisters. The eldest of the three, my cousin Mary, was 1 year older than I, and we'd always been close as children.

When I was in my late twenties, I confided in her that I was having trouble finding my feet in life. She invited me to move in with her and her husband in Southern California (I was living in the Bay Area at the time and not having much luck finding work).

We shared a house for 2 years, went our separate ways for 2 years, and rented a house together for two more before they moved to Atlanta for 5 years. They returned 5 years later to San Diego, and we visited frequently. She passed away in 2015, far too soon. She was my best friend and more of a sister than a cousin.

Her youngest sister, Kathy, and I are closer now, but weren't close as children because we were a little further apart in age, and she tended to hang out with my younger brothers. However, since Mary passed, we're getting closer.

Their brother John, who was born between the two of them, lives in the South, and we correspond via text for the big holidays, birthdays and so forth. I suspect the only reason we're still in touch is cuz my mother is still alive at 94, and he checks in on her from time to time. I suspect that will stop once she passes, as that's what happened with his sister and brother-in-law.

Luckily, I'm still close with my two remaining Brothers (the other two have passed), so yes, in our particular family, the cousins have stayed in touch.

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CopyCurious1783@reddit

I’m very close with my cousins who are similarly aged. I have two that are 25plus years younger and we aren’t close

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texasts1958@reddit

Not for a few decades.

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tcrhs@reddit

Yes, I am very close with my cousins.

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JaqDaRipper@reddit

Not one bit. I'm only close with my grandmother, mom, brother and Maaaayyybe Aunt.

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erilaz7@reddit

I was closer with my cousins when I was a kid and we'd go visit them or they'd visit us. Nowadays I have essentially no contact at all with most of them and only occasional contact with a few of them. The last time I saw any of my cousins in person was last September, soon after one of them had a baby.

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saggywitchtits@reddit

I cut out my mother's side after the inheritance fight from my grandfather. My mother was in charge of it and everyone was at her throat despite her not taking any of it.

My dad's side lives all around the country, so I don't see them but once every few years.

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anxiousslowpoke@reddit

I'm not super close to my cousins. One reason being that we didn't grow up in the same area, but another reason being a big age gap. I'm the oldest grandkid on both sides of my family. My oldest cousin is 8 years younger than me. Not really a huge gap as an adult, but big enough that we wouldn't be hanging out as kids. I'm 33 and most of my cousins have just recently graduated from high school and some are still in school. Though my mom has a cousin that's the same age as me, and she's who I gravitate towards at family functions. If we lived in the same area we'd probably be closer.

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JennyPaints@reddit

I have twenty-four cousins. I am close to two of them. I stay in contact with about a dozen of them. None of them live near me.

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Possible-Okra7527@reddit

I didn't exactly win the family lottery in life. I remember being around them some because some were actually geographically close enough, but close is really pushing it. As adults, we do not speak at all. One is a lot lizard, one is persnickety and emotionally void, one is an addict, one joined a religious cult, and the other is a gold digger. The rest I don't even know.

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HeatherM74@reddit

I don’t hang out with my cousins cuz we are a ways a way from each other. We still keep in contact constantly. They are the people I reach out to first.

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QuarterNote44@reddit

Used to be. We grew up near each other and our extended family would get together for dinner about once a month. It was really nice! But now we're together maybe once a year since we're grown up/growing up.

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Doodlebug365@reddit

I’m close with 3 on my mom’s side! I’m currently on vacation with 2 of them. :)

I rarely ever see my cousins on my dad’s side.

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Resident_Bitch@reddit

No. I don’t even know how many cousins I have on my mom’s side and only know the names of two of them. But then I’ve only met them a couple of times. I have three bio cousins on my dad’s side. We’re always friendly when we see each other and I follow them on social media but we are not close. One of them moved out of the country, one moved out of the state, and the other one moved to a different part of the state that is very far away so in person interactions are rare.

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_thalassashell_@reddit

The two cousins we lived closest to growing up (5-minute drive) are like my big brother and sister. Their dad owns the company my husband and I work for, and one of them works there, too, so I see him every day.

Virtually all of the rest of my cousins are basically strangers. There was a time when some of us were pretty close, but the family at large doesn’t really get together anymore.

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WalkingOnSunshine83@reddit

I was closer with my cousins when we all lived in the same city, but we moved far away from each other and only keep in touch on social media. It isn’t the same.

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Electrical-Title-698@reddit

Not really. They all lived pretty far away so I'd see them during the holidays and such but that was it. My wife has a cousin that's practically her sister though

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Mata187@reddit

In total, I have 4 cousins and I am NOT close to neither one of them! The one that’s closest to my age only calls me when he needs money.

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Ellecram@reddit

I'm very close to about 20 out of 50 of my cousins. We visit frequently and travel together often. We are more like brothers and sisters.

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mjsmore33@reddit

Nope. I never really was though. I'm kind of the black sheep of the family. They're all pretty close, but neither me or my brother really talk to any of them

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Sleepygirl57@reddit

Spent time together as kids. Once grown with our own families starting we stopped.

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parasyte_steve@reddit

Not particularly. I am white. Honestly white people in America I find our culture to be very bitter, highly judgmental and everybody secretly hates each other. I have no issues with my cousins but our mom's and dad's just did not get along and so I did not spend that much time with my cousins... which is crazy because they lived down the block from us. Maybe it is just my parents... I honestly don't really speak to my parents and part of it is because they're bitter and judgmental and hate everybody. Also domestic violence lol... whenever I see my cousins we talk about how shitty our parents are haha but I live across the country now so I don't see them as often as I would like to.

Maybe my experience isn't typical but I have had a lot of friends in my life and it always seems like my white friends have similar shit going on in their families. But my black friends or other ethnicities are all super close with their cousins and families. I know not all white people are like this and not all POC are like that but like on average this is what I have seen.

I think its something in particular about white American culture... we seem miserable on the whole. We lack a sense of community. We have definitely lost the plot on what is important in life.

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sluttypidge@reddit

I'm the favorite cousin with money. My baby cousins, who are tall as trees, treat me well in hopes of being fed.

I also act as the babysitter occasionally for my cousin's children.

I'm closer with some than others, but I do talk to them on both sides of the family.

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reithejelly@reddit

No, but many of my cousins are close with each other. A lot of them grew up in the same town, whereas my family lived about 60-90 minutes away by car. I now live thousands of miles away and only see them rarely.

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StrongStyleDragon@reddit

Some of them others not. Only have 2 that I keep in contact with

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alyssaisrad93@reddit

On my mom's side I am close with all my cousins, I grew up with them and see them weekly for dinner at our grandparent's house. My uncle and aunt live in my neighborhood, so those cousins are like my siblings and I see them pretty much every day or more than once a week. I also know my second, third, etc. cousins on my mom's side and even though some of them live in another country, I see them every few years.

On my dad's side, I am friendly with one set of cousins, they live on the other side of the country so I only see them every 5-10 years. We are friendly with each other but more like acquaintances. The other set I've met probably 3 times total and wouldn't recognize them if I saw them out of context.

So really it all depends on the family bonds and where you live. America is big and people move to new cities a lot, but I think many families get together at least a few times a year.

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FourLetterHill3@reddit

I haven’t spoken to my cousins in 7 years. I see a few of my husband’s cousins a lot more often.

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Quix66@reddit

When they live in the same town yes. My cousin and I saw each other frequently until I moved away. When I mi ed back she had grown up and moved to another state where she raises her family. I'm 11 years older my cousin and I weren't close as friends.

The children of my uncle's sons all live in the same big city. The oldest is about 11, the youngest about 5. They see each other a lot at their grandparents, at parties, birthdays, whenever the brothers get together. They are quite close to one another.

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DickFartButt@reddit

Real close 😈

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Onahsakenra@reddit

I don’t have cousins lol

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mtcwby@reddit

Some more than others. Spent lots of time with a couple despite living 10 hours away. Others I saw just on holidays and frankly talk to more now with social media and that we're older.

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Bluemonogi@reddit

This varies a lot by family. I am not close to my cousins. Only one of my cousins grew up in the same city as me.

Some Americans have very tight knit families and some do not.

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12B88M@reddit

Some of them, yeah. But they're living nearby.

Some others, not so much, but they live hundreds, or even thousands of miles away.

However, whenever we get together for large family events, we all enjoy being together.

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rileyoneill@reddit

Not really anymore. On my dad's side We span a huge age range (oldest born in 1978 youngest 2007). I am one of the older ones. We were all born in California. We all sort of went out own ways. Family gatherings kept getting smaller and smaller (the last Christmas was 2019, it was myself and two cousins, who are siblings). I saw the baby one a few years ago.

When my grandmother died in 2016 that was sort of the end of the family gatherings. People moved away, had their own kids. I do occasionally chat online with some of them time to time. I don't have any ill will towards them, I don't consider them to be strangers, its just we all went in different directions.

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Randygilesforpres2@reddit

When my grandma was alive we did, but they were all rich and spoiled, so by the time we were adults I was over it.

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optix_clear@reddit

No. I don’t know any of my family.

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MaleficentCoconut594@reddit

I have 10 cousins. While I don’t have a bad relationship with any of them, m only really close to 1. He’s the closest thing is have to a brother (I have 2 sisters) and is my daughter’s Godfather. As such I dare him 2-3 times per year vs the rest of my cousins I only see once every 3-5 years or so

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yidsinamerica@reddit

I live pretty far from most of my family, which isn't the most tight-knit to begin with. So, personally, no. I can't remember the last time I spoke to a cousin. They like my social media posts sometimes, but that's about it.

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khurd18@reddit

I mean, Im kinda close to my first cousins. I talk to some of them quite a bit but we live in different states. I'm in new york, 1 is in new york but around 3-4 hours away, 2 are in Illinois, one is in Pennsylvania but closer to new jersey, ones in Colorado, 2 are in South Carolina, one is in Georgia, 4 are in Florida.

Im closer to my extended family, as in my grandparents nieces and nephews

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GeekyPassion@reddit

I was when I was younger not so much as an adult we just all moved away and had our own lives

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redmambo_no6@reddit

No. I know where they live and that’s it.

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stangAce20@reddit

Not really, mainly because they live 8000 miles away and we may see each other once every couple of years

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Neuvirths_Glove@reddit

I'm personally not too close to my cousins, but then again I live about 1400 miles from most of my family.

Even growing up distance was a problem. We lived a few towns over from most of my cousins. Most of them lived within blocks of each other, went to school together, etc., so they were much closer. The cousins I'm closest with now (in my 60s) are my mother's sister's kids. We were always closer to them and honestly they are simply the sweetest, most thoughtful people.

Being so far away, my sons were never close to their cousins on my side of the family. They're a little closer to the cousins on my wife's side, but we live a long way from both families so it's kind of tough.

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chaamdouthere@reddit

Some closer than others but not very close. We live far apart so it’s hard to be close with someone you only see every few years. I am the closest with the ones that we saw every year. I also have some “cousins” (not my first cousins but other random relatives that are close to my age) that I am closer with.

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USAF_Retired2017@reddit

I haven’t seen my cousins in 21 years.

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Intermountain-Gal@reddit

Well, my dad moved 1,252 miles away from home. That’s where he found work. The cousins I knew, with one exception, lived back where he grew up. I have kept in touch with 4 of the 7. If people aren’t interested, you can’t force, especially from that distance. His oldest sister had 2 daughters that were significantly older than me. I’ve met one, once.

On my mom’s side, I knew one cousin well. She was my mom’s age, but we were close. Others we lost track of. But thanks to DNA Ancestry testing, I’ve located a few.

The United States is quite spread out. Traveling great distances just wasn’t affordable in the 60s and 70s. Not for us at least. Obviously, the internet wasn’t a thing.

My nieces and nephew have made a point of regularly bringing their kids together. But they live closer together than I did with my cousins.0

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DuelJ@reddit

One of em is a half cousin I see once every 2 or so years, we get along well.

I've 2 that live a 3 minute drive away, we may as well share a house.

There's 1 across the country, I pretty much never see em.

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AKamDuckie@reddit

I’m close to my only female cousin on my dad’s side. I get along with her twin brother but we’re not close. On my mom’s side I have 3 cousins but we’re not close since they’re so much younger than me.

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At12ABQ@reddit

Used to be when we were kids. Not anymore. Things change, sadly.

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BrooklynNotNY@reddit

I’m extremely close to mine but our parents made that possible by making us all grow up together. I went to high school with like 4 of my cousins.

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Prometheus_303@reddit

I'm actually going to visit my cousin (& his toddlers) in about 12 hours or so...

We get together for a few holidays (Labor Day obviously, along with Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, maybe the 4th)...

Otherwise he's a few hours drive away so we don't really see each other all too often. Probably hung out a lot more when we were kids.

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EAS0@reddit

I have two cousins. I don’t speak to either of them.

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Thonwil@reddit

I would likely not recognize a single one of my cousins if I sat next to them on a bus.

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justdisa@reddit

I was close to the cousins near my age when I was a kid but not so much to my younger cousins. They're 30+ years younger than me. I'm not really close to any of them anymore. They all live in another state.

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milkandsugar@reddit

I only have two first cousins, and I didn't meet them until I was 17 because they didn't live in the US until then. One of them was my roommate for a couple of years in the 90s but we've lost touch. The other one I saw a few times during around then. As far as I know, they don't even talk to each other, so, yeah, not a close family.

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Inspi@reddit

Cousins? not so much. Cousin's kids? yep.

Closer in age to cousins, but better connections with their kids.

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JuanG_13@reddit

A few are like my brothers and there are some that I hardly even know.

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Myearthsuit@reddit

My cousins are rarely people I would pick to be friends with but I love most of them just because of the shared history. I don’t have a lot in common with them but still enjoy being around them because we know a lot of the same people and they’re overall decent humans…. At least on my dad’s side. Mom’s side is a different story.

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Rhomega2@reddit

No. I come from a military family, and we're scattered all over the country. Some cousins I haven't met at all, 2 in particular I only met once in 1992. The last time I spent time with a cousin was at my grandma's funeral in 2016.

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throwawayjayaway@reddit

Mom’s side, extremely. Even as adults. Our kids call each other Aunt/Uncle. Dad’s side? MAGA. Do not relate.

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c4ctus@reddit

Three of them, I guess so. Haven't seen them in a few years, but we talk on social media.

My other cousin, I've never met or spoken to. She lives in the Philippines.

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KingDarius89@reddit

Eh. It varies. Doesn't help that i live on the opposite side of the country. My brother does still keep in fairly close contact with one of our cousins and her family on our mother's side. And sees most of the rest during holidays.

On my dad's side, besides the physical distance thing, the main thing preventing me would be the fact that it would necessitate contact with their parents. I don't care for any of my dad's living siblings. Or most of the dead ones, honestly. The cousin on that side closest to me in age, I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire.

I do get along with the cousins on my mom's side, though we somewhat drifted apart since my grandma got bone cancer and eventually died when I was a teen. My grandparents stopped hosting the family as a whole when it first started happening, understandably, and that was the bulk of my contact with them, especially during the summer.

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AccountantRadiant351@reddit

Those we live near, yes. My cousins who live far and I get along but we rarely see each other. It's pretty common in the US for families to be scattered pretty far apart, so I would guess many of us are too far for regular get-togethers with our cousins.

My kids are actually closer to my first cousin's kids than to their first cousins, because we live closer to my cousin than to our nieces.

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lexi2700@reddit

I am with many of my cousins on both sides of my family. I do see some more than others but I would say we are close. I have very fond memories as a child with my extended family and cousins at parties and holidays.

My husband’s family on the other hand, he barely knows some of his cousins and might not even recognize them if they passed each other on the street. He is best friends with his one cousin (like a brother) but their fathers were close. Others, he’s maybe met once or twice in his life.

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Clean-Fisherman-4601@reddit

I was born and raised in the US. My mother had a big family, but she moved around with my father who was in the military.

We settled in my father's state after his discharge hundreds of miles away from where my Mom's family lived.

Some of Mom's siblings moved to different states further away. I barely knew my cousins. We saw them at weddings and an occasional vacation.

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JulesInIllinois@reddit

Americans are usually very close to their cousins (or at least some of them) growing up as children and teens, even into our twenties. But, after marrying and having kids, you see them less frequently or not at all as you become involved in your own kids' extended family.

I was just at a party for some 30 year old newlyweds which was mostly the husbands' family and cousins. Now that his siblings and cousins are having babies, there's over 50 ppl on his side alone. That's just too many ppl now to have for formal holiday dinners. So, what naturally happens is most family get togethers will just be a young couples immediate family (siblings, their kids and parents on both sides).

I am older. The last time that I saw any of my cousins was in my thirties (decades ago).

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alicat777777@reddit

My mom came from a large family so I have 45 first cousins. I was close to the ones around my age. I moved away when some were little so I never even knew a few of them as adults. I ran into a much younger cousin a few years ago and didn’t even recognize him.

I keep in touch and try to see the ones I was close to both in person and on social media.

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FlyingPaganSis@reddit

No, but I am close to several of my nieces and nephews. I am halfway between my siblings’s ages and their kids’s age so I’m like a generational floater.

I had sleepovers with cousins when I was a kid, but it wasn’t normal situations. My family had me stay with two of my older cousins (by 10 years) when they were staying with our grandparents after leaving domestic violence. I also got sent to stay with my grandparents to help watch my younger cousins when their mom was going through a divorce and, again, there was domestic violence involved. I joke that I was the emotional support cousin, but it’s how I actually feel. And I’m not close to those cousins anymore. One died. One became a heavy alcoholic with a mean streak. One can’t remember our childhood at all and didn’t recognize me when I tried to reconnect.

My mom always talked about her cousins like they were her best friends but we only ever saw them once every few years.

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Penguin_Life_Now@reddit

Not really, but I am the youngest of the first cousins by 5 years, also none of them live nearby, the closest lives about 300 miles away. By contrast my wife is much closer to her first cousins, even though they have moved hundreds of miles away, we see them much more often than I see my own cousins.

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Practical_Archer6445@reddit

Nope

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helicopterdong@reddit

Nope, I don't speak to them unless we're in the same room, which is rare

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Crazy-Squash9008@reddit

Not at all. The last time I saw any cousin was when my dad was dying and a couple of my mom's nieces came to see him in the hospital.

A first cousin sent me a message on 23andme since we hadn't seen each other in 25 years. And I have a first cousin I've never met.

I only have one first cousin on my dad's side. He's the one I'd be most willing to strike up a chat with randomly but I haven't seen him in 20+ years either.

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bananabastard@reddit

Not as close as in Pakistan, as they usually marry their cousins.

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Nawoitsol@reddit

I would not recognize my cousins if I saw them. I only have first cousins on my mother’s side. We rarely saw them when I was growing up. It’s possible my sisters interacted with them a little more and might recognize one or two of the six.

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SouthernCancel6117@reddit

I grew up with cousins like siblings. My two older cousins from my mom’s side are now trash adults that put my grandfather into debt so far he almost has to declare bankruptcy. My younger cousin on my dad’s side it’s cool though. He’s like my dorky little brother

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vaginawithteeth1@reddit

Growing up I was extremely close with most of my cousins. My mom has a large family so my first cousins have like 20 year age spread. I have two cousins who are close to my age though and growing up we had sleepovers almost every weekend and vacationed together. Unfortunately, me and my cousin who I was closest with had a huge falling out when I was 17. We just started speaking again this summer and I’m 32. So growing up very close.. now not as close but working on it.

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Sample-quantity@reddit

Never met them, and I'm old. I only had a few aunts and uncles because one parent was an only child. Those I did have lived very far away and I only met each of them once, and never met their children, my cousins, at all. I've often thought it would have been nice to have cousins.

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gummi-demilo@reddit

When I was young, yes. We lived briefly with my mother’s sister when I was a kid and they would babysit me (they were 9 and 7 years older, respectively) and I was always over at their house.

As we got older the family fractures started forming in part due to my grandparents and I haven’t spoken to them in years. It’s sad, but it is what it is.

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kris10185@reddit

Not particularly. We are pretty spread out geographically and in age, so we didn't really "grow up together." We follow each other on social media and see each other occasionally, mostly at family events every few years. A couple of my cousins I have more in common with than others so we may talk a little more or occasionally make an effort to get other outside of family obligations, however that's probably not the level of "close" that you're probably thinking about.

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supermuncher60@reddit

No but my dad and his sister quite dislike each other.

My Mom is close ish with her older sister who doesn't have kids and talks to her brother who has kids. However those kids are much older than us so we never really talked much. Also we lived on opposite sides of the country.

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botulizard@reddit

On one side of the family, my cousins are like my siblings, we're all very close. On the other, I'm not really close to any of them. I like most of them just fine, but I don't really have a relationship with any of them.

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tu-BROOKE-ulosis@reddit

I was extremely close with my cousins pre-covid. And then Covid happened and half of them went batshit insane Trumpy, conspiracy, anti vax, etc. And now we don’t talk.

I’m about to get married in May, and the thought of NOT inviting them makes me anxious knowing I’d start WW3 within the family. So I think I’m leaning towards inviting them, and knowing they will 100% rsvp no anyways and blame work, and I’ll come out being the “bigger person.” But damn, 2020 really did a number on this family.

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Imaginary_Roof_5286@reddit

No. My mom married and moved >2000 miles to my dad’s home state. We didn’t have money for anything but letters: in those days a phone call would have been a LONG DISTANCE CALL. Lots of $$$. We visited twice while I was growing up, but not long enough to really get to know cousins. So not in much contact of any of them. My family locally was small & eventually became fractured for a variety of reasons. I’m in occasional contact with only one of my local cousins (& only 4 alive of 5), and that only sporadically, so not close. It makes me sad as I have fond memories of family get togethers, but that was then.

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shammy_dammy@reddit

Me personally, no. My children? Much more than me.

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Oomlotte99@reddit

No. I only really know one and we are almost twenty years apart in age.

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anneofgraygardens@reddit

not particularly. my parents are both from LA and most of my extended family lives either in southern California or internationally. So growing up I'd see them once every year or two.

But one of my cousins lives pretty close to me and I ran into him at the restaurant he works at and did not recognize him at all. i was extremely embarrassed! I have terrible facial recognition skills but still... he's my cousin. I'm like 20 years older than him though, so obviously we didn't grow up together.

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Ketzer_Jefe@reddit

No. They all live too far away for any relationship. I have seen only one of them in the last 5 years. And last time I saw her was maybe 10 years before that.

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SlamClick@reddit

I was with all my cousins growing up until I was about 21. Nothing bad happened I just was too involved with starting life to hang out. They were all +- 5 years so we were all in transition stages.

I was lucky to grow up with cousins on both sides of the Atlantic and spent a lot of time with both sides. Swimming, traveling, camping, sleepovers, sports.

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taniamorse85@reddit

I haven't seen or heard from any of my dozens of cousins from my father's side in about 25 years, undoubtedly a result of cutting my father out of my life.

On my mom's side, I see some more than others. There are a few I haven't seen in probably a decade, as well as some I see at least a couple times per year. Most are somewhere in between. None of us are particularly close, but we're generally civil to each other.

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OPMom21@reddit

No. I have 15 1st cousins and keep in touch more or less with just three of them. A couple of them I could pass on the street and they wouldn't know who I am. I grew up thousands of miles from them, so it's no surprise we are basically strangers.

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ALoungerAtTheClubs@reddit

I've generally lived hours away from my cousins and don't really have a relationship with them at this point. My wife, though, is in keeps up with several of hers despite them living even farther away, so I guess it just comes to how close particular extended families are.

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Technical_Air6660@reddit

Only 2-3 of them and that is out of a number I’m honestly not sure of. 30? 40? My mother had six sisters and two brothers and my dad had two brothers and two sisters, all born across three decades, full, half and step, and I don’t know who all of them had kids.

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san_souci@reddit

Some cousins I was very close to. Other not as much. Depends on large part on how close our parents were with their parents.

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redcoral-s@reddit

I live several states away from my cousins so I don't really ever get to see them, plus most of them are several years older than me. Three of them, however, all have kids that aren't that much younger than me, so I would play with them when visiting. That group are all cousins (their moms are sisters) and because they live so close to each other in a rural area, they're all really close with each other

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General_Thought8412@reddit

I’m about to see one tomorrow. We grew up two houses apart but I’m definitely closer to the girl than the boy. I love the boy cousin but he mostly does his own thing and I see him on holidays.

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No-Profession422@reddit

Yes, with some I grew up with. Other cousins I've never even met.

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DummyThiccDude@reddit

Im close to 3 of them. They're the same age as me and my siblings, and we saw them every Sunday growing up. We all have a group chat together and try to meet up on holidays.

Both of my parents are on the younger side out of their siblings, so most of my cousins are 7+ years older than me. I pretty much only see the majority of them at family reunions.

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p1sr6g@reddit

Not in my family. Even those of us who live physically close by to each other. We are too different as people to enjoy each other's company.

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salamat_engot@reddit

My mom and dad each have dozens of first cousins. I have zero.

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Euphoric-Stress9400@reddit

Every family is different. Even within families. I have four cousins. Two per side. On one side, we are very close. I only see them once every two years, but I could call them at any time. I can tell them anything. I know they’d be on the next flight if I ever needed anything.

On the other side, I haven’t seen them in years. I don’t even know what state they live in. One is married. I met his wife at my grandmother’s funeral. I know her first name and pretty much nothing else about her. But to be fair, I don’t know much more about my cousins. My dad told me one got his phd, so I sent him a congratulatory message on instagram.

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Amber2718@reddit

I have probably hundreds of cousins and I can't even remember any more than like two of their names. Let alone having ever had anything to do with them

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Pitiful_Bunch_2290@reddit

I get along with a couple of them better now that we're older. I was the baby of the family and never fit in as a kid.

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lokland@reddit

My 2nd cousins lived relatively close, so they became first cousins and we were very close. Even going to highschool together. We had our own friend groups, but saw each other at family events and around our social cliques.

I’ve got a decent amount of other cousins that live in different cities and we’re close but I only see them a few times a year.

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eebarrow@reddit

We’re not super close like siblings but we love each other and we have a great time whenever we see each other. If they lived closer I’d see them more often; one of my cousins recently moved to a new city about an hour from me so it’s much easier to see him than the others

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latin220@reddit

Yes, but as a Latino I’d be remissed not to be. My people are very close to each other and grow up with each other and family is very important and traditional.

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corndogshuffle@reddit

Extremely. My family has a mass gathering every 3-5 years, there’s normally 75-100 people there. Tons of smaller meetups in between.

This morning I saw two cousins at my house and then drove four hours to see a completely different set of cousins. This specific situation isn’t what I’d call common but it’s a good example of how close we are. We don’t miss opportunities to see each other if the opportunity exists. I love it, we love it, it’s always a great time. And there’s almost nowhere I could live in the US where this wouldn’t be possible.

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According-Gazelle@reddit (OP)

Your situation is quite similar to asian families where cousins usually are yout first set of friends.

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tn00bz@reddit

I only have two first cousins and were not close at all. Im very close with my dad's cousins though, they're closer in age to me.

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JimBones31@reddit

Some of them, moreso than others. I don't see any often nowadays but we still have that connection.

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NS_8099@reddit

In the past, not so much but ever since one of my cousins passed away in December 2024, my other cousin and I have former a much closer relationship even though she’s 40 and I’m 23. This is something that really should’ve happened a long time ago.

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ShiraPiano@reddit

My immediate no. Mom’s side are all certifiably insane and super negative, why I barely talk to my sister too. Dad’s side basically disowned us and they were all younger and didn’t really talk to us.

One cousin was close for a couple years then dipped. I’m closer with extended family and not even that close.

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YourGuyK@reddit

I hunt with one of my cousins, so I see him once a year.

Otherwise, I would have said yes at some point recently, but Facebook becoming useless hurt that. I would say that any of my cousins would bail me out of jail, and I'd do the same for them. I think that is some kind of close.

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SatisfactionHour1722@reddit

It depends on family.

My dad was an only child from nyc. My mom was fifteen years older than her next sibling and from Los Angeles.

They met in the Midwest and threw down roots there. So pretty much no cousins around for my siblings and I.

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mads_61@reddit

My parents were one of my cousin’s legal guardians until she graduated high school. I was only 5 when she moved out so I don’t have a ton of memories but we’ve always been close. She moved across the country so I don’t see her as much as I’d like but she comes home about once a year.

The rest of my cousins I grew up about a five hour drive away from so I didn’t see them all the time. Even then we were still close, I have so many fond memories of spending time with my cousins. Most of them have stayed close to home so I still get to see them a few times a year.

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Obtuse-Posterior@reddit

I think I might be able to recognize some of them but haven't talked to most of them since I was a kid.

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lendmeflight@reddit

Yeah. We grew up meeting up and playing together at my grandfathers house.

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Mysterious-Meat7712@reddit

I hate every single one of my cousins and wouldn’t care if I never saw a single one of them for the rest of my life.

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tlonreddit@reddit

I have many and I'm close with a few of them.

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Grundens@reddit

about 5 of them. I've got 20.

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Crazy_Response_9009@reddit

My sister and I sister have cousins that were our age. When we were young we spent a lot of time with some cousins that liked to babysit us. But when we got too old for that, we didn’t stay connected to them.

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The_Bjorn_Ultimatum@reddit

On my dad's side, yes. On my mom's side, no.

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ExtraSpinach@reddit

I am very close with first cousins on both sides. Probably about 50% of them are as close to me as a lifelong friends. The others…meh.

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tuberlord@reddit

I have one cousin I enjoy hanging out with.

Most of the other ones I just don't have a lot in common with, and we mutually don't talk a lot. I have a handful of them that I actively dislike and avoid dealing with if I can help it.

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Aggressive-Farm9897@reddit

For me it’s really weird. I have a lot of them, but we never really talk. Our parents were all estranged from one another for serious chunks of our lives so we weren’t around one another to build relationships. I do have a couple where we fall into easy friendly conversation when we meet up.

My grandparents were all pretty terrible parents and even people to varying degrees, and it destroyed a lot of relationships. And as outlandish as some of it is, I know a lot of people that have equally screwed up backgrounds. A lot of American families have stories of deep estrangements, resentment, and family drift. Then, there are many that have families like you describe. Some of my own cousins have that with their other parents’ families which is a really weird thing to see. Kind of like a mirror of what I might have had.

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np99sky@reddit

It's close, but we're much more geographically spread out than Pakistan and unlikely to be raised together in the same way. Also unlikely to get more than a week together (if that) at once, just holidays. It does happen for families that stay in the same area but I assume much rarer than in Pakistan.

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