To those of us turning 50…

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belunos@reddit

I'm rolling over to 50 in three months, but to be honest, I've been calling myself 50 for like two years. I don't think I'll think much about it when it comes

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isthishowthingsare@reddit (OP)

I’ve been doing that for nearly 5 years too it seems… and I thought the same as you, but with it around the corner, it’s hitting differently for me than I thought it would.

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OppositeRun6503@reddit

I'll be 52 in less than a month myself.

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buttsandsloths@reddit

I’m turning 44 Saturday, but I fear perimenopause is wrecking my mental health combined with “gestures at the world”.

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Have you thought about taking estrogen? I haven’t started yet but plan to soon. Supposedly it’s a game changer. Will help regulate mood and so many other things so that the transition into and thru menopause will be more graceful.

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buttsandsloths@reddit

I’m on a patch and progesterone now and it’s been a lot better.

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lollipop-guildmaster@reddit

WHY is there no information given about perimenopause? Everyone jokes about hot flashes (my doctor cursed me; she asked "have you had any yet?" the first appointment after I turned 45, and they started less than a month later), but the acne? The mood swings? What. The. Fuck. I feel fifteen again, and not in the fun, "I get to do whatever I want without being in constant pain" way.

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buttsandsloths@reddit

The skin wrecked me. I have spent a year trying to get it back to normal and not 7th grade 2.0.

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memyselfandi78@reddit

I'll be 47 next month and I completely feel this statement. Started taking Lexapro because I don't know where all of this unchecked rage came from.

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Significant-Ring5503@reddit

45 and same. we all should start a book club or something

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SpritetheRight@reddit

I am always down for a book club.

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buttsandsloths@reddit

I’m doing HRT and it’s helping but I’m at month three and dosing up is a whole thing. I finally got into a psych so I’ll see them in two weeks. I wish you well. I’m so sorry I feel like no one mentioned this stage of aging.

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memyselfandi78@reddit

Yeah I wish somebody would have warned us. But looking back it does explain why my mom was always such a raging mess when I was a teen.

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buttsandsloths@reddit

Definitely. My mom had me at 40 so I don’t remember this age as much but I do remember her full on menopause years and I’m not looking forward to that literal hot mess.

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Nocoastcolorado@reddit

Yes my mom also had me at 40 and I didn’t understand at the time why she was swearing so profusely in the kitchen, losing words and becoming incredibly irritable or minor things. I get it now.

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bedspring76@reddit

Cymbalta worked wonders for my anger issues.

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malai556@reddit

I thought I was managing my anxiety ok last year until my neuro decided to go on maternity leave. Apparently that was the last straw because I completely broke down in hysterics. The appointment scheduler said she could get me in with a different provider, which just made things worse. Ultimately took the new provider who gave me lexapro. All is well with the world again.

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buttsandsloths@reddit

Yeah I think my anxiety is probably worse than I realize and my therapist is trying but you can only CBT AND DBT so much.

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redditshy@reddit

44 for me was ROUGH. Prozac + Yoga + GLP1 gave me my life back. 48 now, and feeling MUCH better. Perimenopause onset is no joke, and some OBGYNs — women, who advertise as experts — have not the faintest clue what they are talking about. Don’t take it personally, and keep looking for a medical provider who hears you. It gets better on the other side!

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buttsandsloths@reddit

I finally went through midi- my GP has been supportive as well. Still looking for a OBGYN that doesn't suck locally. Also on GLP1 lost 107!

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Icy-Arm-2194@reddit

Just turned 44 this week. And yep. I was smart enough to increase my meds in Nov because I knew it would turn into a manure show.

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StandardAd239@reddit

Peri sucks. I just want to get to menopause so this can stop. Although, I will say the giving zero F's has been nice.

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Twitter_2006@reddit

Sameee!

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Simple-Chemistry-878@reddit

Am also 44 and my god for a shitty year. I threw my back so I have a herniated disc, never felt this type of pain before and would not wish that on my enemy. To top it off.i broke mye toe just as we were leaving for vacation...

Came back with a mental breakdown, emergency mental help.... and zoloft...

Ffs... and that's not to mention the perimenopause im probably in.

The only good thing is that I lost almost 10 kg with wegovy so wooohppp me..

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mypetmonsterlalalala@reddit

I've had long-standing endocrine issues, and thanks to a first-time seizure, everything is finally being attended to. Im just starting to feel... not shitty, and my doctor joked the other day, something like "up next... menopause!"

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I_make_switch_a_roos@reddit

44 in a month and I've been through some stuff especially recently but somehow through the hellscape some things are looking up. mental health also has been suffering

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buttsandsloths@reddit

I’m glad to hear they’re looking up, but so sorry you had a rough go for a while. 💜

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I_make_switch_a_roos@reddit

thank you, appreciate it. hope you're doing o.k. with all things considered

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ObjectiveFlatworm645@reddit

I started taking nootropics. I make sure I eat enough food. I take notes when I need them. Helps me a ton:)

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buttsandsloths@reddit

I’ll look it up. Thank you!

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rumslurpee@reddit

44 next month and wow, I feel seen. It’s like, is my brain actually broken? Because a constant feeling of doom makes so much sense given “gestures at the world”.

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buttsandsloths@reddit

I know we’re not the first generation to go through things so how did everyone else do it because what we’re doing isn’t cutting it- even getting perimenopause care was an extra step, some doctors don’t believe anything needs treated. 😑

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HughPajooped@reddit

Combined that with aches and pains and yeah...I'll have another whiskey please.

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buttsandsloths@reddit

I’ve upped the weed smoking, which is not going to be a long term solution.

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McBernes@reddit

I turned 51 a few months ago. Ive been fortunate as far as not having bad knees, but I'm very mindful of how I bend to pick up even a pencil. For all of the stupid things I did in my youth I think I'm doing pretty good

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Witty762@reddit

50 is the new 40!! Keep on keepin’ on.

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IvenaDarcy@reddit

Half a century is wild! 50 once felt so far away and now here we is! :)

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Regulus3333@reddit

We got another 50 to go fam, strap up

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MaxHeadroomba@reddit

I’m in my early 40s still, but my late 40s will be strange as my kids start to head off for college. I’m trying to enjoy things while they last.

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TBD10062@reddit

You are strong and awesome!

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The_Nightscrawler@reddit

Turning 43 next month, so a little way to go yet... I feel like my entire 30s were lost to fertility struggles, mental health battles, and just about everything going wrong that could. I won't bore anyone with the details, but it got pretty damn bad there for a bit. I stumbled into my 40s battle-scarred and dealing with the aftermath. I feel 20 years older than I am. The physical toll of the level of stress I was under for so long started to manifest, and I'm just now beginning the long journey back towards good health, both physical and mental. I'm very conscious of starting to feel time ticking away, and hope to enter my 50s feeling better than I have in a long time, ready to embrace the next 20 or 30 years and make the most of them.

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isthishowthingsare@reddit (OP)

For perspective, if I may.

I had a first marriage explode just as I entered my 30s. A dose of infidelity and a terribly broken heart.

My 30s ended in a much happier marriage with a wonderful family, and then a diagnosis of a rare incurable blood cancer that only affects about .0003% of the population of the U.S. at that age.

A decade into it and you get some perspective.

You’ll get there too.

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The_Nightscrawler@reddit

Thanks. I'm not in the US, but I imagine it's not a particularly easy place to live right now. I wish you well.

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scotttydosentknow@reddit

I mean if you’re 50 you’re not really in the Xennial catagory right? Wouldn’t you squarely be Gen X?

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johnny_moronic@reddit

yes

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NorgeCostanza@reddit

Lol how is someone turning 50 a xennial?

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johnny_moronic@reddit

gif

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crincled@reddit

I'm on the same trip atm .. going through some difficult circumstances but knowing that I'll be ok if I'm just true to myself. shit that weighed me down before is kind of laughable now. looking forward to the next decade!

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affabledrunk@reddit

I'll be 50 in a month and my spirit is completely broken. I feel the next hiccup of life (layoff, health issues, money) will be the end of me.

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Late_Blackberry_2482@reddit

Sending you positive energy.

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affabledrunk@reddit

Thank you for your kinds words.

I'm a man. Looking at the responses in this sub gave me a slightly altered perspective. At least I'm not going through the hell of peri/meno-pause. Sending my love and encouragement to all the ladies here dealing with that on top of the usual mid-life bullshit! (Including my own special lady and my poor crazy ex)

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zoot_boy@reddit

Welcome to the party pal. Gonna be REAL weird at first…

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Aggravating-Try1222@reddit

gif

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genesimmonstongue415@reddit

Good perspective OP.

Interesting that you feel like Xennial, cuz 1975 just sounds full-Gen-X to me.

( Thought Xennial was 1977-85. I am Baby Xen. I also grew up tough-working-class & have seen other spoiled / privileged people my age act like full-on-Millennial. 🤷‍♂️)

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Imtifflish24@reddit

I’m a 76er and mix better with you all here. The Gen X group is late 60’s- early 70’s on that subreddit and honestly just different from my experience in growing up. I can’t relate to them at all.

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LoudAndCuddly@reddit

Right on the border. We get it.

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genesimmonstongue415@reddit

This is what my 1 pal (Millennial) tells me. It makes sense, I spose.

I grew up working class. Jersey. Working since 14. Had driver license before I had the internet at home.

I call myself Xennial or Very Elder Millennial.

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LoudAndCuddly@reddit

Totally, very similar life in Australia

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Imtifflish24@reddit

Agree!!

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remoteworker9@reddit

76er too and me neither.

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New_Stats@reddit

I got chastised for my opinion, and they called me an 80s baby or some such nonsense. I was born in 79 ffs, I'm "solidly" gen X but I sure don't fit in on that sub

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Jealous-Shop-8866@reddit

Dec 76 and firmly align with this mob.

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MyNameIsntFlower@reddit

Late August 76 and feel the same way.

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lifeuncommon@reddit

Agree. The older GenX are very akin to boomers. I just don’t have much in common with them as far as generational life experiences and all that. Much more in common with this group and older Millennials.

I’m ‘77.

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Neither-Principle139@reddit

Totally this. Born tail end of ‘75, but for some reason the older Gen Xers just sound like boomers in their interests, attitudes and opinions… And OP, I feel ya, facing 50 is such a different perspective and experience compared to prior decades. Looking forward to life’s journey, despite the insanity all around.

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isthishowthingsare@reddit (OP)

SAMES

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fidgetypenguin123@reddit

I had the same thought, especially because both my sibling and my husband's were born in '75 and fully consider themselves Gen X. My husband born in '80 has been called Gen X by both of them even though we both feel we are Xennial.

I have to say I like having that divide with my sibling lol. We don't always agree about things and what they have been into was always "before me" it felt like and they graduated in '93 where I graduated in 2000, so a big timeframe between and just 2 different worlds.

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sstruemph@reddit

'75 is considered Xennial by some. I think its ok. I'm '77 and some say that is not Xennial.

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Resident_Bid7529@reddit

Nah, ‘77 is canonical xennial.

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bump909@reddit

Gotta keep in mind that you’re already 4 years into the Millennial gen. I’d consider you both Xennial even though it’s most notably ‘77-‘83.

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iceknyght@reddit

'75 here and most days I feel more like a Xennial. Probably cause for the most part, I have almost always hung around younger people. There are days where I feel more GenX, but on the whole, like someone else mentioned, I usually identify more with the folks here than GenX. Definitely on that "fuzzy" edge!

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Moxie_Stardust@reddit

I do think the edges seem fuzzy enough that 75-85 works pretty well as a guideline, based on feedback from various people here over time. Occasionally we see folks who resonate even a little further out, and it's not like we're going to run out of space, so let them Xen if they wanna Xen 😊

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ManOfTeele@reddit

The idea that there's a hard line between one generation and the next is just silly. If OP identifies the with the posts here, they're more than welcome.

The definition on Wikipedia says Xennials are only 77-83, so you wouldn't make the cut either if we were gatekeeping.

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Epicardiectomist@reddit

yeah man. I'm only 44, but it's like a veil is being lifted from my eyes.

I spent my life chasing validation, never to find it, only to end up in the here-and-now with the epiphanic thunderbolt that I never needed it in the first place. So much turmoil, so much heartache, over what amounts to essentially nothing.

The song "Peace of Mind" by Boston is one I've adored for much of my life, and while I've always understood the gist of the lyrics, only now am I recognizing just how profound they are:

"I understand about indecision
But I don't care if I get behind
People livin' in competition
All I want is to have my peace of mind"

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BoboliBurt@reddit

I’m hitting that number soon. And I know mentally it was an ugly number 5, 10, 12, 25 years ago.

But it’s just a number. Whether it means a lot more or is more transformative than 54, 61, or 38 is kinda up to us. Especially when so much is also outside our control.

I’ve blown past 27 and Ayrton Senna fairly handily at this point. Jerry Garcia is the next milestone.

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Mike__O@reddit

The fewer fucks you give about other people and what they think, the freer you are.

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cityshepherd@reddit

Yeah but if I stop solving everyone else’s problems I’ll be forced to confront my own problems with my newly free time…

Seriously though I know this is an exceptionally important skill for personal growth

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Maud_Dweeb18@reddit

I feel so seen.

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GarminTamzarian@reddit

If you don't want to solve other people's problems, you could always just go the 'boomer route' and start creating problems for other people in your newfound copious free time.

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Mike__O@reddit

The fewer people outside of my immediate circle who even know I exist, the better. The first thing I want people to say if they hear my name is "WHO?"

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Gloomy_Use@reddit

Sweet username

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GarminTamzarian@reddit

https://i.redd.it/jjd4dcld1vlf1.gif

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Centra_spike@reddit

That’s Garmin’s copy of Swank!

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New_Stats@reddit

The fewer the fucks, the freer the people

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Brahma__@reddit

🤩

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Block444Universe@reddit

Congratulations, that’s really an uplifting read

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Simple-Chemistry-878@reddit

I'll be 50 in 6 years and fearing that I won't have a single friend to celebrate it with.

It really does suck when you realize you're friendless at 50....

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Deep_Excitement1192@reddit

I thought Xennials aren't reaching 50 until 2027-2028.

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Positive-Neck-1997@reddit

Our definition has evolved over the years, and this poster seems super Xennial

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fidgetypenguin123@reddit

My proud to be Gen Xer sibling is turning 50 this year lol. While some people might consider us both Xennials, when one person graduates in 1993 and the other 2000, that seems like a whole different time period. We just can't relate to everything the same way.

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edwardturnerlives@reddit

I turn 50 just before 2027 starts. If '76 aint xennial, y'all smokin ditch weed.

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DetroitsGoingToWin@reddit

Not really the point of the post

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PhoneJazz@reddit

It’s not relevant to this subreddit.

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isthishowthingsare@reddit (OP)

If 1976 is excluded in others definition of Xennial, I’m here too to say… they are incorrect.

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RudyPup@reddit

Every definition I have seen starts it at 1977. However, you're right, at 76 you could identify with the same mindset.

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GarminTamzarian@reddit

👍

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Steelysam2@reddit

I think it depends on when you enter the workforce. I went on the grad school so the economy was worse when I entered, so while I have the time of Gen X, I had the experience of an Xenenial

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Iamstu@reddit

Turning 42 in October, looking at having a second kid...

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Positive-Neck-1997@reddit

I’m a few years older than you and can’t realistically have any more kids. I do wish I had more when it was possible. Best of luck…

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Greedy_Diver4552@reddit

When I was in my twenties and the folks my mother’s age were turning 50 (my mom, aunts, step mom), I noticed they all seemed to hit 50 and just say “fuck it.” So I started calling it “fuck-it-fifty.” And at some point I decided I shouldn’t have to wait until fifty to stop giving any fucks. When I finally turn fifty in three years I am happy to say it will not be fuck-it-fifty for me. I gave all my fucks in my twenties and have had none to give for many years! That seems worthy of a jubilee!!!

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Positive-Neck-1997@reddit

Fuck yeah, I’m pretty damn close to your age, probably months away. I’ll admit that when I was younger, I set a goal for myself to live to 50. Now that I’m close, and life is super fun, I’m questioning that mindset.

The new me is thinking to have a ton of fun, help my friends out, and just live a long time so I can show the younger generation our ways of life. 😀

My advice to you all is to enjoy life and keep things positive.

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iolmao@reddit

For those turning 50 you are probably in the wrong sub.

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jesusmansuperpowers@reddit

43 Tuesday here

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Buck_Nasty6735@reddit

Just turned 50 a few weeks ago. There’s so much I haven’t done and want to do. But also realize I have 15-20 good working years left if no health crises manifest. Scary thought…So now switching gears and focusing on paying off debt and getting proactive on house repairs.

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Late_Blackberry_2482@reddit

It’s wild to me that people are gatekeeping on people born in 1976.

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RightReasons76@reddit

I’m turning 50 in about six months. To say my 40s have been a minefield is an understatement. I think I’m finally ready to step into my self-worth after working on it for the last eight years. I want my 59s to be the happiest and most fulfilled I’ve ever been.

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Brs76@reddit

I turn 50 in February. Im definitely counting on the saying that the 50s are the youth of old age. I honestly think my 40s were the worst decade of my life and lived up to the first part of that saying .. your 40s are the old age of youth

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DarkMode54@reddit

Turned 46 recently. Totally agree w concept of “40s are old age of youth”. Been a few hard realizations past couple years. I’m ready to kickass again….

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Icy_Hippo@reddit

im 47...thing I struggle with the most...im the old parent, the old friend, the old wife, the old one in the team. It actually gets me down a lot more than they all realise.

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HoldenMorrison@reddit

If you're turning 50 you are Gen X. Get outta here!!!

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remoteworker9@reddit

gif

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slash_networkboy@reddit

You nailed it for me too (will be 50 next summer).

I have started to pivot towards retirement prep and trying to figure out what balance of leisure and possible revenue generation I may still want to do. (I may set up a consulting gig with my current company's incubator company).

I do worry about my kids. They're entering adulthood at a very uncertain time for the world. We had the cold war, but for most of our cohort (seeing as we're the elders of this group) that wasn't much of a thing as the Berlin Wall fell. We grew up in relative peace and prosperity. We were born after the gas crisis, and we were too young to be truly impacted by the great S&L scandal, nor black Monday.

Our kids have not been that lucky. Since Sept 11 our country has been at a perpetual state of war more or less. Our kids don't have the luxury of stupidity of youth being lost to memory, as it's largely recorded forever. Our children's cohort was positively *fucked* by Covid with regard to their education, especially those with highschoolers... so much social development that never happened because they were isolated.

So... personally as a divorced (happily) dad entering my 50's in a state of relative security (only debt is the house, and I have enough in my cash accounts to pay half of that off immediately and enough in investments to pay it off fully as well) and freedom (kids are grown, one still lives with me but is largely self sufficient other than income) I particularly feel very few weights left to carry that I previously did.

And your comment about self validation... omfg that was freeing to realize. I don't know quite when it hit (recently for sure) but that I need ZERO approval from anyone to feel my own self worth has been the single most liberating thing for my wellbeing ever!

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ollie81578@reddit

Xennials can’t be fifty

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OldLadyMorgendorffer@reddit

Fully embracing my battleaxe phase

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Imtifflish24@reddit

OMG, me too! This has been a wild year. I’m turning things around, getting smarter, getting healthier, even finishing up my B.S. degree. Truly the 30’s and 40’s were so much fun. At first I was dreading my 50’s but then I was like, it’s all about mindset.

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bakedveldtland@reddit

Congrats on your degree!!

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Imtifflish24@reddit

Thank you!🙌🏼

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SeriouslyTooOld4This@reddit

gif

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fidgetypenguin123@reddit

It's crazy to think that Molly Shannon irl is actually 60 yrs old now and when she started doing that skit she was in her 30s.

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nwbrown@reddit

If you are 49 and claiming to be a Xennenial then yes, you need to stop clinging to the idea that you are going.

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Adventurous_Pin_344@reddit

My spouse hit that milestone this year. We appreciated it as an excuse to go out for a Michelin-starred meal. He doesn't look his age, which I think helps, but I know he feels it when he trains at his jiu jitsu gym with guys half his age.

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Flat-Leg-6833@reddit

I turn 50 in April and my only child turns three the same month. I only hope to have the energy in my 50s and 60s to keep up with him.

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Medium_Reality4559@reddit

If you’re turning 50, you’re gen-x, not a xennial.

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Nacho_Sideboob@reddit

Hell yeah

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anOvenofWitches@reddit

Sometimes I think going through midlife/50 after COVID and the current depressing state of affairs is a blessing. Our parents did so in a hyper materialistic time, grew mullets, cheated on their spouses and bought sports cars. At this point in my life focusing on what actually matters brings me stillness.

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New_Stats@reddit

Yeah my midlife crisis was practicing gratitude by being grateful for simple things and figuring out how the hell I'll be able to afford to retire

Imagine how insane it would be to not worry about retirement and be able to blow a bunch of money on vanity items.

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BrainaIleakage@reddit

50?? That’s so old! Like way, way, wwaaaayy older than me right? Guys… right?

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Sharpshooter188@reddit

Honestly, Im still coming to terms with the fact that Im 41. It was like I friggen blinked. 40? The hell are you talking about? Im in my mid twent-ooooooh...no I am not...

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Roland-Of-Eld-19@reddit

Never know how much time is left so....

gif

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Silocin20@reddit

I turned 45 this year and have been experiencing that for a couple of years. As I'm getting older I am really honing in on this even more.

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Themoosemingled@reddit

I’m 48 but have been processing a lot. These are wonderful distinctions.

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skywalkerRCP@reddit

Turned 45 this year and it hasn't really hit. I'm thinking 50 will be really bad mentally for me lol

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sstruemph@reddit

I am 48 and feel this.

One question... Can you KICK?

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isthishowthingsare@reddit (OP)

I can stretch! And I can kick!

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Polemic-Personified@reddit

I am my own best advocate and always have been. I don’t need validating. I can validate myself.

Shit, I hope I can internalize this by 50.

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Neither-Principle139@reddit

Do your best to work toward this. Took me most of my life (49 too) to get to tho a point as well. It is life-changing.

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LMurch13@reddit

Turning 50 (and the late 40s) has been tough because all the adults on TV when we grew up are now in their 70s, 80s and 90s. Seems like every week a cherished actor/musician/artist passes away.

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Deep_Excitement1192@reddit

I thought Xenials aren't reaching 50 until 2028-2029.

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isthishowthingsare@reddit (OP)

If 1976 is excluded in others definition of Xennial, I’m here to say… they are incorrect.

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I have less room in my mind of a lot of things these days related to worrying.
I have more room these days with patience and understanding.
My optimism is much more firmly rooted in things being well within the boundary of being "reasonable".
My ability to be surprised has diminished all the way down to only pure unadulterated stupidity of actions with huge, lasting consequences. Murder, rape, stealing, cheating, wars, delusion on any side of the political, religious or social isle, etc is no longer surprising.
There are no real solutions in life, best you really get is a set of tradeoffs. Take the best tradeoff in all situations.
Family is truly there for you more than you actually realize.
Take a more proactive approach on your health, it really does start to matter at some point.

That's about it so far. My life is generally really good, missed my shot at a few things but ultimately I am doing well and happy, so are my wife and kiddos.

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subsonicmonkey@reddit

My wife just turned 50 this summer. She’s full on Gen X.