Can you reccomend good books for getting life stories out of grandparents?

Posted by rainbow-songbird@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 11 comments

My daughter's great nan (mil side) is showing early signs of dementia. My MIL is very close to her mum and I know it would mean a lot to her if I could work through one with her and get it done before its too late. I visit her quite regularly with my daughters so I could sneak in a question or 2 a week so it wouldnt be too taxing. Id be recording the information and writing it when I get home because I dont think she'd be interested in writing it herself.

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11 Comments

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Specialist_Ship1686@reddit

Maybe asking her straightforward might work? My grandmother has dementia, but she remembers clearly stuff from her childhood and if you ask her about it then she will tell you all about it.

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Acceptable_Bunch_586@reddit

FYI, use a recording app that will annotate, they are so much better quality now.

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SonOfGreebo@reddit

Try to establish a timeline of events, like house moved and going to school. This can help you go back and "cross reference"... Like, "did you have the dog before you moved to X?" This can prompt new stories and details. And do ask for details: What clothes did you wear for primary school? Did you walk to school? Was there a big blackboard? Who was your favourite teacher? Sometimes, asking things that you know are WRONG can also prompt more memories, as the person WANTS to correct you!

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360Saturn@reddit

I know what you mean but I think some others in the comments haven't heard of them - they're diary-like blank books you can buy that come with prompts. Search on Amazon for mum or grandma life diary and you'll find some good ones. I got one there a few years ago.

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StereotypicallBarbie@reddit

Hopefully you’re letting them know? and aren’t secretly recording..

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ThatNiceDrShipman@reddit

Music can be a great way to help people remember things, especially those with dementia. I considered doing a 'desert island discs' type approach, where you play a track then capture the memories that it prompts.

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EtoshaLeopard@reddit

My cousin just set up his iPhone on a tripod and got my Nan to talk. She said loads of things many of which we never knew! He filmed her over several visits. Open questions - what was it like growing up? How was school? What did you like doing when you were younger? Work well.

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maythesunalwaysshine@reddit

You could try getting in touch with Stories for Life: [https://www.storiesforlife.co.uk/](https://www.storiesforlife.co.uk/) They offer their services free of charge.

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togtogtog@reddit

Does she have any photos? Looking through photos can be a really good prompt. Also, ask about things from when she was young. It's often a lot easier to remember. And take your lead from her. If you ask specific questions of a person with dementia and they can't remember the answer in that moment, it just ends up being distressing for them. If you allow them to follow their own paths through their memory, it is really good fun! So nice open general questions can act as a gateway to a whole host of things you never knew about, and the person can end up talking for hours! * What was your school like? * What games did you play? * What was your house like? * Who did you spend time with? If they start telling you a story you've heard before, go with it! You might still find out something new...

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pencilrain99@reddit

Just record the conversation on your phone, I'm lucky I spent a lot of time with my grandparents when I was young and loved hearing about their lives before and during the war. Apart from my Grandad who was an engineer and was sworn to secrecy about what he was doing during the war,he took it extremely seriously and took it to the grave. I've always wondered if he was involved with the development of the bouncing bomb or jet engine but I guess I'll never know

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