ULPT: Best way to bring booze into a sports venue?

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wowzra@reddit

Has anyone thought of putting booze inside a football?

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I think a hydration vest that ultramarathons use would work well for this. The one I have had 2 500ml flasks that go in the chest pockets and can carry a 4 liter bladder on the back with a straw. There is zero metal in the whole thing and fits tight in the body. I’m 6’3 and 180. If I throw an xl hoodie on over it you can’t even tell it’s on me.

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Im_the_President@reddit

Had a roommate that snuck a pony keg into a football game with a wheelchair. Put the keg between his legs and wrapped them in a blanket.

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mogadiba@reddit

I went to a game years ago with some friends. We found our seats, then one friend immediately ran off to buy the largest soda he could find. Upon returning with a massive cup of sugar, he made us each take a big chug before he pulled a loaf of French bread out of his bag. We all looked at him, confused about his choice of game time snack, when he pulled the top of the loaf out of the bag, revealing an entire fifth of vodka hidden inside its hollowed interior. He then proceeded to fill his "soda" to the brim and got absolutely blasted over the course of nine innings. We all wished he hadn't.

Anyways, I have no idea if this would work today. But it worked that day. Unfortunately.

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nuclearmonte@reddit

Can confirm that it works at Citizens Bank Park, just hide it wrapped in a hoagie.

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Raptr117@reddit

Moved away from the area but I miss Citizens Bank Park

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notactuallyacupcake@reddit

"Oh, just a bag of Wawa goods? Proceed, sir/ma'am!"

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jrm725@reddit

I love that this first comment made me double check if this was the Phillies sub haha

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iIdentifyasGrinch@reddit

>>> just hide it wrapped in a hoagie.

>>> the Phillies sub <- Ha! Saw what you did there

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SnortsSpice@reddit (OP)

Lmao, what a champ. My friends were at the same stadium 2 weeks ago and said they have a metal detector.

I'll have to look into the rules with what you can bring in. Maybe some weird rule that works to my advantage. I mean, I can afford to drink there - it just feels bad.

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donaldhobson@reddit

A stick of french bread isn't metal. A plastic bottle of vodka also isn't metal.

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cjw7x@reddit

Make sure the cap isn't metal

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Wild-Spare4672@reddit

Neither is a glass bottle

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Miserabull@reddit

I love imagining this story 😂😂

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Skeggy-@reddit

They sell plastic flasks on Amazon. Tape them to your body and conceal with clothing.

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bsunwelcome@reddit

They make "bras" like this too, but sounds like this is a dude. Beer belly?

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Disastrous_Photo_388@reddit

This is the way. I have a 7oz plastic Stanley flask that fits nicely in my back-pocket or inside jacket pocket.

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Flatulent_Father_@reddit

The flexible ones are best, they don't even really feel like anything under a layer of clothing except for the lid

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f1ve-Star@reddit

That's my catheter.

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cuck__everlasting@reddit

Exactly. Either tape it to your ankle like a cath bag or on your side like a colostomy/ileostomy bag. What are they gonna do, smell it?

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Skeggy-@reddit

Taste test

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talksinbeats@reddit

Hmmm tastes like coors. Move along.

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RavenousAutobot@reddit

Not a real piss bag. We're talking about putting alcohol in it.

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DTIndy@reddit

Have done this for years. Largest size in my waistband under my hoodies. Have had smaller ones tucked into my socks.

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PaddyMcGeezus@reddit

Saw one that looks like an ankle bracelet parolees wear.

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Proof_Bathroom_3902@reddit

If you're careful, you can use a large syringe with a thick needle to put the beverage into your urethra and fill your bladder. Then, whenever you or your friends want a drink, you can pee it into their cup. Human decanter.

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yourdonefor_wt@reddit

Wtf

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Mc-MojoJojo-85@reddit

Jello shots did the trick for me!

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IFartOnCats4Fun@reddit

Nah, man. Just eat an edible in the parking lot right before you go in.

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jzee87@reddit

So in america I'm pretty sure under ada rules you can bring food and beverages into any venue as long as you claim that it's medically necessary and it has to be sealed.

I worked a sports arena years ago and on our pre event info sheet that staff got it always said something to the effect of no food and beverages unless it's medically necessary and is sealed.

With that said you need to find out if the venue you are going to allows that and how to hide alcohol in a sealed soft drink bottle which they probably sell something online

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sendbooba@reddit

those little pocket bags stuff them in ur underwear ( wear boxer briefs ), no one gives a shit and no ones gonna cup ur balls maybe buy a coke and fill your that shit up in the bathroom

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Wizard-of-lonlieness@reddit

Baggy pants (eg cargo) can be big enough to fit a mickey (plastic or glass). Don't worry about small buts of metal as the detectors are not that sensitive (earings, shoes etc don't have to be taken out/off). I've shoved the rounder bottles into the front of my pants or taped them (the ones that are kinda recent shaped and fit on your stomach). Security really isn't that interested in confiscating alchol, just want to prevent guns and weapons and shit. As long as your not obvious and don't give them a reason to search you, they wont

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fangoround@reddit

Need some Hammer pants! Aren’t they back in style?

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Aloha-Eh@reddit

They never really were in style.

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notactuallyacupcake@reddit

My childhood weeps.

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skate1243@reddit

literally just buy a bunch of those little plastic shooter bottles and stuff your pockets. It’s all metal detectors, no pocket searches… fuckin rookie goddamn

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DancingBear62@reddit

SEC or ACC football fan?

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dumpitdog@reddit

I would actually swap out the shooters with Everclear. More than twice the bang for the size and weight. The shooters one drink I shoot her full of Everclear is two and a half.

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My_Name_Is_Not_Ryan@reddit

Exactly… wtf is thread. Talking about taping stuff to their bodies when this is what minis were made for.

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RavenousAutobot@reddit

All these prison pocket comments like, "why put small bottles in your pocket when you can put a big one up your ass?!"

And somebody's out there like, "why not both?"

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ThrowawayNJ322@reddit

Him: "Some individual being sat near me who has to do activities that reflect their credit score"

Also him: "Wondering if anyone has a better idea than replacing travel size hand sanitizer bottles content with vodka then stuffing it under the family jewels. I know I can pre game in the parking lot or stick a non-metal container in my prison pocket by the way."

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SnortsSpice@reddit (OP)

Lmao. You ain't wrong.

Guess I fancy certain low credit score activities.

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RavenousAutobot@reddit

Or you want to do high credit score activities in a low credit score way

No judgment

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willtobe@reddit

Those bra flask things seem to be working pretty well. I've glimpsed a few of those at concerts.

Or there's some weird lactating fetist happening.

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RavenousAutobot@reddit

Give it to a vagan? I think they check their bags, too.

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LongjumpingRespect96@reddit

Yeah, come in with an enema bag. Go ogle ‘butt chugging’. It’s a real thing, unfortunately made our local news as a fraternity thing. 😆

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BillDauterive4@reddit

eBay and shamazon sell neck ties that hold a surprising amount of alcohol.

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THISUSERNAMEWILL@reddit

Trusty ole prison wallet

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weaseltorpedo@reddit

the homie pocket

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THISUSERNAMEWILL@reddit

No I do not allow my homies into my pocket. Your username suggests otherwise😂

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SnortsSpice@reddit (OP)

Fuck. I used to have long hair but cut it super short a couple of weeks ago. You think they would check to see if my bra stuffing is plastic bags of liquor?

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natesplace19010@reddit

No

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A_Filthy_Mind@reddit

There used to be something called a beer belly that was a similar idea.

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Relevant_Bar808@reddit

Remember reading about football fans at a previous world Cup injecting vodka into whole oranges.

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SnortsSpice@reddit (OP)

Top tier work😂😂

Like, if people can sneak green dildos into WNBA games, booze should be easier.

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tinkatiza@reddit

I can't shove an orange up my ass

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_without-a-trace_@reddit

Not with that attitude!

Put your all natural organic juicer to work

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RavenousAutobot@reddit

Time to get off reddit now thanks

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filtersweep@reddit

Everything is a dildo if you are brave enough

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needs_help_badly@reddit

…yet!

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penywisexx@reddit

You obviously haven’t tried hard enough.

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ballimi@reddit

It's really tasty in watermelon, but those are quite heavy

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Come0nYouSpurs@reddit

Common at the KY Derby too

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Similar-Lie-5439@reddit

You can’t bring oranges in venues in America… they’re weaponized lol

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FishyKeebs@reddit

Skip the middle man and just do straight in the veins

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Fr33speechisdeAd@reddit

Bring a stroller with a lifelike doll wrapped up like it's sleeping. Fill a baby bottle or two with white liquor in a diaper bag.

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MaloneSeven@reddit

Drink in parking lot .. smuggle into stadium in your belly.

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Allison1ndrlnd@reddit

Inside you. Fake belly. Hollow cane. Prosthetic leg. Camel back bladder attached to leg. Remove toes and replace them with shooters. Cod piece.

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Cuneus-Maximus@reddit

“Activities that reflect their credit score”

First of all, love this.

Are we talking about vaping? Binge drinking? Do tell.

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nonferrousoul@reddit

Condom with a pin 📌 hole in the tip....then boof it...& enjoy 😈

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eweyk88@reddit

Drill a cavity in a prosthetic leg, fill with booze and then cork it shut

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krn619@reddit

Amazon sells flasks that look like sunscreen.

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sluttysprinklemuffin@reddit

Hidden flasks. There’s a ton of them online. Just avoid metal that isn’t explainable/excusable or lumps on your body.

I think the power bank flask (Amazon, first thing that came up when I searched “hidden flask”…) makes the most sense to bring with you. You might need some battery charging 🤷‍♀️ I always have a 60k mah brick battery with me.

I think the tampon flasks are mildly off putting and I wouldn’t trust that many tiny containers not to leak. The sunscreen ones would be okay if you can find one that looks like an actual brand of sunscreen. The boob inserts (like “cutlets” but flasks) are hilarious and I’d love to see it work, but your booze is going to be so warm. If you can bring a cooler and you’re just trying to hide the alcohol part, I think the cooler ice pack ones are the coolest idea.

For me, I’m not super into alcohol, I hide a joint or my vape mixed in with other like pen shaped things in the inner pocket of my purse. I don’t go to a lot of places that check you, but I haven’t been caught at a concert or a zoo. (Not that I was using them at the zoo—I just didn’t want to leave it in the car! And actually, the concert one was an oopsie, I thought both vapes were in the car, but I saw after that one was still in my purse. 🤷‍♀️)

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Altruistic-Key-8843@reddit

Belly bag / boob bag:

https://barshopen.eu/en/cool-stuff/beer-belly-bag/

Thank me later! 😂

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Responsible_Sea78@reddit

Take an empty plastic bag out of a box of wine. Have a beer belly.

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stevenfromla@reddit

This is the best $18 I’ve ever spent. It goes in the small of your back on the way in. Sporting events, concerts, festivals. Please don’t drink and drive!

https://a.co/d/iEKJQQz

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Desperate_Bobcat_919@reddit

In your but cheeks

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scottlouislink@reddit

Plastic flask off enay

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nursesmaley@reddit

Do you have cleavage? I've snuck a couple of those mini alcohol bottles in there before

If not maybe a baggy t-shirt or jersey and stick it in your waistband

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OilyRicardo@reddit

Yeah op, what them titties do

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racquetballjones23@reddit

So inappropriate, so funny

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RedditRASupport@reddit

My girl bought a fake umbrella that is a flask.

Works every time.

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strutmac@reddit

Used to work in a pharmacy. If I was going to a football game I would fill empty IV bags with alcohol and put them under my armpits. I would run IV tubing from the bag down my arm.

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haditwithyoupeople@reddit

You could just not drink alcohol at the game.

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3banger@reddit

Just put it in a clear water bottle. They let you bring that in.

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crybabyconrad@reddit

cowboy boots

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TheNickman85@reddit

Do you put in your PIN number at the ATM machine to get cash to go to the MLB baseball game?

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SnortsSpice@reddit (OP)

Nah, i just give a rimmer in the lot to the ticket scalpers.

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metal_marlett@reddit

When I would go to warped tour in saint Louis me and a couple buddies would sneak in like month before and bury booze/joints/whatever and then just dig it up day of the concert

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SnortsSpice@reddit (OP)

Man, I miss warped tour. I bought a reds wicked apple for my friend, she was 20 at the time. She hated it and was out $15 lol.

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Foreign_Attention_83@reddit

I’ve bought plastic flasks to fill with some whiskey. I brought three of them to share with my friends. Tucked them in the waistband and secured tightly with my belt. Keep them close to the pocket so you can put your hand in and adjust if you need to. Plastic flasks were $9 on Amazon

https://a.co/d/9YJHXSH

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irishpwr46@reddit

Yankee stadium used to let you in with a couple bottles of beer as long as they were plastic. The bodegas in the area had a great selection of plastic bottled beer. I haven't gone to a game in a few years so I am not really sure if that's still allowed. You could always get a plastic flask and fill that with booze, get a soda inside and make your own cocktails

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Redacted_dact@reddit

Slimming.

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ImaRaginCajun@reddit

When I used to go to the Saints games in the Dome, I'd always bring a 5th of Crown in with me. I have a plastic flask that holds a 5th and I'd tie it around my waist so where the flask kinda hung in front of my junk. They never pat you down on your crotch so it was never an issue.

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elcriticalTaco@reddit

Just put it in a plastic bottle and carry it in some well supported granny panties. A 20 oz bottle is plenty for everyone.

I've done this as a dude with boxer briefs. They don't touch the no no bits.

If they do just make aggressive eye contact lol

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SnortsSpice@reddit (OP)

Only time I got my no no bits tickled was from TSA over a cliff bar in my backpack.

Looked like explosives on the xray machine. I was given an option for a back room but I made them do me in the open. Luckily I got to keep my underwear on for it.

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vikicrays@reddit

”the no no bits”

you just made me lol. literally.

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RoxoRoxo@reddit

back when i lived nearby i used to go to angels games regularly, 15$ nosebleeds then when the angels would be losing the stadium would clear out and id move closer great stuff ANYWAY they allowed outside food and drinks from businesses, so you could walk in with ( i think ) carls jr which was accross the street. my friends and i would walk in with a large drink we emptied out and filled with boose, wed just walk in and no one would bat an eye, great times

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SnortsSpice@reddit (OP)

It's a Phillies game so it will probably be packed.

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RoxoRoxo@reddit

to be able to see quality baseball must be nice lol

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SnortsSpice@reddit (OP)

Until they take a crap. It's the Philly way. Gotta throw us a bone, the birds last year, once in a while.

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penywisexx@reddit

Ask in the Phillies subreddit, they’ll have the best ideas. But really just get plastic flasks off amazon. It’s not TSA, it’s a baseball game with 40k people going through metal detectors manned by minimum wage security guards in half an hour.

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providencemac@reddit

You can bring in your own food to a phillies game. Has to be in a clear bag, and may get "searched". I bring WaWa all the time. Unwrap a hoagie, insert mini booze bottles and wrap it back up.

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karenmcgrane@reddit

So proud of you, my city, our team

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toomuch1265@reddit

Get a urine collection bag, fill it with vodka and a couple of drops of yellow food coloring and tell them that you have a catheter.

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wissportsfan@reddit

I’ve used 8oz soda bottles in the past. They’re all plastic.

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gripping_intrigue@reddit

Not unethical... but how about ... just don't go to the events. I'm not much a drinker and I feel hosed when I go. They've priced all this shit out of reach. Maybe someone gets the hint and thinks about making the experience more affordable.

And now I return you to the unethical suggestions already in progress.

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LillyMarquette@reddit

Large bottle of contact solution is how we get booze on the cruise.

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dirtymoney@reddit

anal flask

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Subject_Turn3941@reddit

Look up ‘pulp sport: the great tui sneak’

They have heaps of suggestions. But i think the most successful one was just wheeling a pallet of beer straight in. The security even helped them.

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DadsNads-6969@reddit

Gallon zip lock baggy taped around your waist. Go into many concert venues. Feels like a fat belly

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pskindlefire@reddit

A gallon? Damn, mofo a professional!

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exloringtheworld@reddit

flasks disgusted as other things. lots of options for this just do some digging :p

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philatio11@reddit

A lot of overly complicated solutions presented here. I carry a glass 5th of Sailor Jerry into every college football game I attend by placing it in the cup pocket of a pair of baseball underwear. Not a jock strap, but typically under armor brand fitted compression boxers that are baseball specific. The bottle slides down to be essentially pressed against your taint/ball area. No one has ever come close to patting that area down at any stadium in the US, and I’ve been to a lot of them.

If your balls are bigger than average, you can wear the football version and stick two additional 250ml bottles (or 500ml if you’re lucky) Fred cc case into the thigh pad pockets. Not 100% guaranteed to survive a pat down, but clever enough that you’ve got a decent chance that the security guy will just nod knowingly at you.

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Enough_Ant231@reddit

Tampon soaked in vodka, ☝🏼your 🌟🕳️

🤪

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Rude_aBapening@reddit

They make plastic flasks. I use mine for when they have AEW and WWE here at the Moda Center.

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TrojanVP@reddit

My dad used to walk into games with a massive cup in one hand with a jacket draped over it. When searched he just held out his arms to be wanded and they would let him through.

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Apprehensive_Star_82@reddit

Get a small Camelback bladder. Stuff it in your crotch area. Worked for an EDM music fest

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UGLYSimon@reddit

I just take the cheapest 500ml botled water at the store, the plastic isn't as thick as better brands. Then I fill a little more than half with vodka and squeeze the air out, making a flat 1/4 inch shape. Stick it in my wasteband and blow air back into once I'm inside the venue. Now I have a normal half full water bottle and I don't look suspicious sipping it.

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StumpyTheGiant@reddit

Plastic pouch style flast behind the belt buckle. Or even a metal flask behind the belt buckle. If they wand you checking for metal they'll see the belt buckle and wave you on through.

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Mr_MacGrubber@reddit

In college we would fill ziplock bags with bourbon then put that in another ziplock bag, into the taint area it goes. If you wear cowboy boots, you just stuff it all in there.

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ajw2285@reddit

www.kangaroospirits.com - it's not in market yet, but we'll have 375 mL 'apple sauce' type screw cap top pouches of vodka soon. Put it in a pocket and its nice and squishy, "feels like a bag of sand"

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MastaYoda33@reddit

I once witnessed a group of college kids drinking tequila from a gallon sized Ziploc bag. One of them was on crutches with a walking boot, and they smuggled it in the boot.

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hellosillypeopl@reddit

Had a friend in college who wore size 17 shoes. We would all just borrow his shoes and put airplane bottles in the toe. Never failed.

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Dasrule@reddit

I have found the best way to smuggle alcohol into any type of event is in my stomach

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mydogisatortoise@reddit

They used to make juice bags with a resealable spout. They look totally legit filled with vodka.

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TheyTokMaJerb@reddit

My friend used those little squeeze pouches for baby/toddler food. Just washed them out and refilled with vodka.

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Moistcowparts69@reddit

Had me in the first half! 🤣

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greeed@reddit

this is how you do it

https://youtu.be/DiIcXX-xcCU?si=J-_C3A7W9mmYjREa.

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gottareddittin2017@reddit

Buy a plastic flask and btw My credit score is shit, but I have impeccable manners in public (born and raised in Illinois by southern grandparents)

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spodinielri0@reddit

I have a set of these

Barnoculars

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januaryemberr@reddit

Gallon ziploc, duct tape, stomach. Grab a straw and you have a grown up caprisun.

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Responsible_Gap7592@reddit

Those small airline bottles in your socks, with long pants. I've put 6 in each sock. They are plastic and they don't pat down ankles

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My_Name_Is_Not_Ryan@reddit

You can just put them in your pocket man

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Sataypufft@reddit

Buy some squeeze apple sauce. Eat it, wash the containers out, refill with booze, hide a couple in your pants or shirt. Get drunk.

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janisemarie@reddit

We had a false bottom for our soft-side cold bag thingy back in the day. Put Bloody Marys in a tupperware down there.

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Ok_Work7396@reddit

The Doug Stanhope Booze Suit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiIcXX-xcCU

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rvasshole@reddit

Airplane bottles in your socks

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SweetShelbs727@reddit

Place plastic flask of booze on a child. Walk right in. Who pats down a child.

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mynameishuman42@reddit

Camelback

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vikicrays@reddit

clear zip lock bag with vodka or another clean liquid, bottom of the backpack or purse, put standard stuff over it (wallet, glasses, program, wipes, etc.). works every time. or, uh, so i’ve been told ;-)

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CallsignKook@reddit

Flask in boot

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BikingEngineer@reddit

This was more than a decade ago, but I broke my clavicle in college during football season. It turns out you can fit a six pack of beers into an arm sling with very little trouble. If there are metal detectors then plastic the way to go, and if you’re legitimately injured they generally won’t search you too intently.

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Omynt@reddit

Pocket shots.

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Smeegs3@reddit

I used to rock this back in college, The Floppy Flask. Looks like it’s out of production, but you may be able to find something similar.

The one time I got patted down with it, I’m pretty sure the usher thought it was a colostomy bag. He let me in.

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Cmcgregor0928@reddit

Some company's make little baggies with 50ml shots in them and those can be taped to the waistline. We did that and some Ziploc bags just make sure you don't pop them if they are cheap baggies

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TacoLord696969@reddit

The easiest way is to go in a day or two early and hide it somewhere easily retrievable.

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darin617@reddit

How about the prison purse.

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Sufficient-Scratch42@reddit

They make tons of "stealth flasks."

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Hockey-Gym@reddit

Check the venues policy on binoculars. Then get yourself one of those cornball binocular flasks.

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DMcC214@reddit

Sunscreen bottle

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LifeOfFate@reddit

In your stomach

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bradyfost@reddit

In a water bottle in your waistband. It’s that easy

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SnooCupcakes7018@reddit

You can buy plastic flasks that look like sunscreen. No need to even hide it.

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ADDandME@reddit

I tie string around the fifth bottle and my belt and just walk in like I’m well hung and hanging a bit to the left.

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ernyc3777@reddit

Most places will let you inning in a sealed bottle of water. Fill it with vodka or gin(if you’re psycho).

Either buy new water bottle caps for that size off Amazon or stringently pull it off without breaking the seal and recap.

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funnyocgirl@reddit

Plastic flask and bring in a sealed bottle of water, unless you want to pay $15 for soda water. just mix the booze with water and stop by an actual bar for lime wedges if needed.

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Dannyz@reddit

They have cruise shots that are individual shots wrapped in plastic wrappers that look like condom wrappers. Can just walk in with 6 in your pocket

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AnyUnderstanding1879@reddit

Google body flask

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ilovemischief@reddit

I work for a university and our stadium has a clear bag policy. I got a flask from Amazon that looks exactly like a bottle of sunscreen. Like you’d have to look it at real damn hard to realize something looked off. I’ve brought it to several games and never had a problem, just a couple of weird looks since it looks like I’m chugging sunscreen.

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ilovemischief@reddit

I work for a university and our stadium has a clear bag policy. I got a flask from Amazon that looks exactly like a bottle of sunscreen. Like you’d have to look it at real damn hard to realize something looked off. I’ve brought it to several games and never had a problem, just a couple of weird looks since it looks like I’m chugging sunscreen.

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whim_sea@reddit

Tampon flask!

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floppydo@reddit

Plastic flask

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LazyAssLeader@reddit

Hollow leg.

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sexwiththebabysitter@reddit

In your belly

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Teebers41@reddit

Plastic flask

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-Blackfish@reddit

Wear a hoodie and put bottle in hood. Used to work at least…

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ACynicalOptomist@reddit

I did that in the seventies. It was at the sports arena in los angeles, and we went to see Styx. It was a wild night, but we didn't get caught, and I just put it in my hood.

When I got to security, I was holding on to my jacket to counterbalance the bottle in my hood. I opened up my jacket, and I just said, "Frisk Me."

I did it loudly and dramatically. The guy laughed, and they let me walk in with a fifth of rum. I have vague recollections of that concert, and I know that it was wild afterward.

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BlottomanTurk@reddit

"Beer Belly" and "Wine Rack" products are classics.

Just be prepared to either drink body-temp booze, or have cold tits / tumtum for a while.

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