What’s the most ridiculous or hilariously clueless question an employee has ever asked you as a sysadmin?

Dumbnuggets: what's the difference between the 9200 switch and 9300 switch? Me: They are mostly the same, except the 9300 adds layer 3 switching Dumbnuggets: oh, that means it supports WiFI. Me: Uhhhhh... Nevermind. Another time: Dumbnuggets: I think the server is not PXEing because of a lost network pointer. Me: I think I'm having a stroke. My manager at the trade show calling for help setting up a laptop PC at a trade show: Manager: The video cable is missing. Me: The video cables ship with the monitor not the PC. There's a slot in the monitor create. Manager: There's only 3 cables in there. Me: There's only supposed to be 3. (VGA, DVI-D, HDMI) Manager: I need the one with nine pins. Me: ??? Uhhhhhhhh Me: Use the one that's kinda flat and long. You should find it fits both the monitor and laptop. Manager: I don't think it fits. Me: Can you just check and let me know if that cable can't fit? Manager: Ok Me: <wonders if I should go proactively take pictures of that model laptop in the lab showing where the HDMI port is> Technically not sysadmin. This was my first ever phone call at my first real tech job doing dial up tech support. Me: Thank you for calling $ISP tech support. Can I get your email address? User: yeah it's somethingOrAnother Me: yup I found your account. How can I help you. User: I need to know how to make the email thingy. Me: The email thing? User: yeah so I can send an email. Me: ok, do you have Windows 3.1, Windows 95 or Mac? User: how do I tell? Me: That's ok. It's easy to figure out. Do you have a start button in the bottom left? User: No, there's nothing there. Me: ok, is here a little apple in the upper left on bar with words? User: No?? Me: ok, that sounds like Windows 3.1. when the computer starts is there a big light blue box with a logo that says windows underneath? User: I don't know. I think maybe. Me: ok, yup that's Windows 3.1. We need to find Netscape mail. <Starts describing what the Internet folder icon we install looks like> User: No! I have the program open and I wrote the email. I just need the email thingy. Me: ?? I don't... What email thingy? User: The one in the middle! Me: ?? The middle? User: The weird squiggly thing in the middle of the email. Me: Like in the email address? User: YES! Me: The at symbol? User: I don't know what it's called. Me: Ok, that's easy. It should be above the 2, you just User: That's not it. Me: It should be. It's there on like every keyboard for a very long time. User: it's a really old keyboard. Me: You are sure that's not it above the 2? User: Yes! That's not it. I says it's an old keyboard. Me: It's been there like forever. Like before keyboards, when it was just typewriters. User: It's not there. It's a reeeeaaaly old keyboard. Me: Do you see it anywhere else on the keyboard? User: No. That's why I'm calling you. Me: Ok. Let me see if I can find another way. <Furiously uses alta visita to find Windows Alt codes for ascii characters> Me: I think I found another way. User: Great. Me: it's alt sixty four User: ok.... It didn't work. Me: didn't work? User: it just stayed alt sixty four Me: oh. Erase that. User: ok Me: Find the alt key at the bottom. User: oh, ok Me: Press and hold that and type 64 User: It just says 64. Do you even know what you are doing? Me: Yes. I think we are almost there. You are going to press the alt key and keep holding it, type 64 then let go of alt User: That's it! Me: Yay. I knew we could get it. So you can just do that to get the at symbol or email thingy. User: HaHaHa. Thanks. Hey that is on my keyboard. Me: uhhh, ok where? User: Above the 2. How do I get that? Me: Shift two. User: what? Me: umm capital 2. Like capital letters but 2. User: That worked. That's much easier. Me: Yup. Sooo, you're all set? User: yes, thank you Me: Is there anything else I can help with? User: Nope, I'm good. Me: Alright, you have a good evening. <Goes outside for a smoke to consider if maybe I need to find a different career path>