What’s something you stopped doing that made your mental health a lot better?

Posted by TheStaircaseOfLife33@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 290 comments

I stopped comparing myself to everyone else’s high light reels and binge watching shows.

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290 Comments

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apeliott@reddit

Working in the civil service lol

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Haunting_Cell_8876@reddit

So many wanky made up job positions. Chief Binbag Distribution Officer, Grass Length Compliance Officer, Paperclip Organisation Operative... Most staff working in the civil service have sloping shoulders and do the least amount of work possible. But need to do just enough to justify their huge salary.

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Thi13een@reddit

You not going to reply to defend your viewpoint? I’ve been waiting 8 days to hear it. Eh? Eh? Thought not.

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Accomplished-Art7737@reddit

Huge salary? Hahahaha that’s the best joke I’ve heard in years 🤣 The most senior civil servants granted are paid quite high, but the majority of us, on the lower grades, delivering essential services in often not a great work environment with a huge amount of stress and pressure, who live in the provinces are barely scraping by just like the majority of workers in the UK. Maybe educate yourself instead of believing everything you read in the Daily Fail 🙄

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Thi13een@reddit

Well said. No idea where this notion of “civil service fat cats with their huge salaries came from” as the truth couldn’t be further away from this. We can’t even employ people to do our repairs because no tradesman thinks the pay is worth it! They’d rather be self employed or private

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Thi13een@reddit

You do know the vast majority of civil service jobs are drastically underpaid nowadays compared to the private sector don’t you? The Chief Exec of the civil service I work in earns £140k a year. She is responsible for an organisation of approx 10k staff and could be sent to be prison for corporate manslaughter if anything goes terribly wrong. Do you think that’s a huge salary? I don’t based on the responsibility. I have friends who work in banking who are nowhere near to the top of the tree earning almost that. Do you think that’s fair and equitable? Some little banking shitbag making millions a year is ok? The civil service runs the city you live in in some capacity or another. We aren’t well paid and we aren’t well staffed

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Bskns@reddit

And that’s on the pay freeze that in fact meant a real terms pay cut

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NSFWaccess1998@reddit

Sound points, but have you considered "civil service bad or something"?

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Thi13een@reddit

You do know the vast majority of civil service jobs are drastically underpaid nowadays compared to the private sector don’t you? The Chief Exec of the civil service I work in earns £140k a year. She is responsible for an organisation of approx 10k staff and could be sent to be prison for corporate manslaughter if anything goes terribly wrong. Do you think that’s a huge salary? I have friends who work in banking who are nowhere near to the top of the tree earning almost that. Do you think that’s fair and equitable? Some little banking shitbag making millions a year is ok? The civil service runs the city you live in in some capacity or another. We aren’t well paid and we aren’t well staffed

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Careful-Training-761@reddit

I'm handing in my notice to go on a "career break" aka getting out, tomorrow. It really is a merry go around of people dodging work and endless meetings / detailed reports that go nowhere.

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peur420@reddit

instegram

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Usual-Sky6568@reddit

Drinking

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IrritablePowell@reddit

I stopped working 5 days a week. Having just one extra day off in a week has had a huge positive impact on my mental health. I realise I’m extremely lucky and privileged to have this perk.

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VxDeva80@reddit

Me too. Not working a Monday made a massive difference to my mental health, the weekend no longer seems to fly by. I still do the same number of hours, but it's only 1.5 hours extra a day, so I barely notice.

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Emotional-Bathroom98@reddit

Absolutely this! I’ve done the same and it has changed my life. That extra day a week has saved me.

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Pantles@reddit

Same! After being made redundant during lockdown, I now work part time. I work three days a week, with options for overtime if I want/need it. It means I can rest if I need to, spend time with my sister and her kids, clean the house without my husband messing it all back up again, or catch up on something I’ve missed. It’s nice to work to live, not live to work!

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IrritablePowell@reddit

It's amazing what a difference it makes.

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sherbetsweets@reddit

You really are. I hope you enjoy every moment of that extra day off. I’d love to be in your position one day

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No-Door-3181@reddit

I switched from working full-time in a fast-paced industry in London to working part-time at my local library and doing some freelance work on the side, and I've never been happier. Rest is essential, and it shouldn't have to be a privilege...

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random_banana_bloke@reddit

God I need to do this. I feel really burnt out but I'm also addicted to the money. I could probably do this in my job (software engineer) and I already work from home. I know I'm already in a privileged position but the mental load from working so much, especially recently, is real.

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mrs_shrew@reddit

Did you compress your 5 into 4 or you just reduced?

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IrritablePowell@reddit

After getting laid off during Covid, I started a new job on 4 days a week. I work approximately 9 hours a day. Occasionally I have to work a night or weekend as I work in pet relocation and shipments often arrive or depart at night.

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Legitimate_Finger_69@reddit

I used to want everyone to like me. Then I read a book that said you should have at least one person who hates you at any time because it affirms that you aren't a pushover and are a person who is entitled to their own thoughts and opinions. That's meant I can cut out toxic people who I was using as a crutch and that sometimes I can be happy by myself. I mean, also loads of psych meds too.

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gothfather3@reddit

Makes sense. I've always thought that overall, those liked by ~everyone~, never stand up to anyone or call their behaviour out. Their existence is usually rather unchallenging.

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Confuseduseroo@reddit

Up to a point, perhaps. But the real skill is challenging people's actions and attitudes while still engaging with them in a polite, friendly and engaging way. That's how you get to be truly respected.

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gothfather3@reddit

Yes absolutely. You can be respected, but not liked. And vice versa. I more so had in mind those who everyone generally likes and gets described as 'nice' 🥱

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salahiswashed@reddit

What book is this?

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adreddit298@reddit

What I'm taking from this is that if I make everyone hate me, it proves how strong I am as a person. Did I read it right?

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dread1961@reddit

Essentially that's right. You stand against everyone, you always put yourself first, you demand that your needs take precedence at all times. You make sure that there are repercussions for anyone that does not respect your views. You'll be feared, you'll be strong, you'll be a right twat.

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adreddit298@reddit

Haha, that last sentence was a doozy 🤣 Outstanding 👍

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Legitimate_Finger_69@reddit

If everyone likes you you're a pushover who is doing/telling everyone what they want to hear without prioritising what you want or what is true.

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GalliumGoat@reddit

"you should have at least one person that hates you" Man, nah. Ideally you should just find the best way to avoid caring, but actively seeking someone who hates you or even using it as a measure is insane to me. Sure we don't all get along, but this is just fucking sad lmfao

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Legitimate_Finger_69@reddit

There is invariably someone in your life - especially narcissists - where you benefit from telling them the truth about the way they are treating you and others, even though they will hate you for it. If you have no-one in your life who is manipulative, sociopathic or narcissistic but you have tolerated thus far you are very lucky, have a very small circle of family/friends or you haven't realised they're playing you yet.

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GalliumGoat@reddit

Narcissism and sociopathy are disorders, not words to describe people who rub you the wrong way. What I do have are people who are worth my time and energy, and people who aren't. People who are a toxic influence who I phase out or lose contact with, and people who enrich my life and bring me joy that I choose to keep in my life. Evidently, understand the basic point. but the un-nuanced statement "you should have someone who hates you" is just proliferating the idea that we should be naturally distrusting of each other from the start, in a world where we are progressively loosing the empathy that makes humanity function.

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Legitimate_Finger_69@reddit

I have a family member who is a narcissist. She did everything up to and including getting social services to investigate us because she claimed we were radicalising them and the kids should be removed from our care. She tried to install an app on the eldest phone claiming she needed to communicate without us knowing. She almost caused us to crash on the motorway by screaming and kicking when we were going 70mph. We tried to help for years, but everything I read about other people with narcissistic family members says you can't change them, cut them out, they will forever be toxic and dangerous to your kids.

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GalliumGoat@reddit

All very unfortunate to hear. I'm sorry you had to endure this. I obviously don't know if the below actually applies to this relative or not. But my point here is, unless an individual has been *diagnosed* with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, they aren't a Narcissist. It's the same as Sociopathy. The same as Psychopathy. The terms have associated diagnostic criteria and treatment, and it's concerning to see them used to arbitrarily. As someone touched by the NPD I'm sure you understand.

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Legitimate_Finger_69@reddit

Someone is a narcissist whether or not they have been diagnosed, and diagnosis is difficult because unlike many other personality disorders they are unlikely to seek a diagnosis. You are right in that it can be dangerous to use it for people who would not be diagnosed under DSM or ICD but I work in UK healthcare and undiagnosed people can still have narcissistic behaviour listed on their past medical history or ED frequent attender plans because it is clinically useful information. FWIW we have offered to pay for psych support so it is not that we have written her off without trying to help.

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rositree@reddit

I think it's meant more as a reassurance that you don't have to be pleasing everyone all the time and when someone who doesn't like you naturally appears, it's OK for you to not try and change that. If it is meant like you said and is a conscious action on your part to find someone who hates you, then, yea, that's a wild way to live!

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FitSolution2882@reddit

'You have enemies? Good, that means that you've stood up for something at some point in your life"

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seven_green_toes@reddit

What was the title of the book?

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Mr-33@reddit

I'd also like to know

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Legitimate_Finger_69@reddit

"The Courage to Be Disliked" By Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

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Legitimate_Finger_69@reddit

"The Courage to Be Disliked" By Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

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Haunting_Cell_8876@reddit

Quit drinking alcohol and smoking weed. It'll be my 5 year anniversary on the 25th.

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brian_tmfnt@reddit

No way my sober date is 25th July 2020 too. Congrats

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Haunting_Cell_8876@reddit

We're sober twins! Congrats to you too!

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um-bong-o@reddit

Go on lad. Saying keep it up seems daft as you have reached that stage. So keep counting them days!!

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IcyAtmosphere582@reddit

Started putting myself first and cut off toxic friends

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Upper_Top_529@reddit

Complaining

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Narrow-Toe8270@reddit

Reduced social media usage massively. As there's nothing more negative than social media. It'll always try to tell you that the UK is a shit hole, it's overrun by immigrants, it's taken over by Muslims (it's not btw, just 6.5% of the population), it's a depressing place to live, etc. Just too much negativity. Go out and have a stroll in the park and you'll realise how negative social media is

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DrPull@reddit

6.5% is a large increase from 0%

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Narrow-Toe8270@reddit

It was 4.9% in the 2011 census and barely anyone cared. Now it's 6.5% and everyone (at least on social media) seems to act like the country is 90% muslim

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DrPull@reddit

That is a 44% increase of just the Muslim population.

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Airotvic@reddit

I'm a Brit living in Canada. It's the same here. Then I go outside and wonder what all the weirdo basement dwelling incels are crying about.

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Zenmont@reddit

Meanwhile, there are people in my (real) life that spout racist and ignorant crap all the time, whereas my Instagram feed is full of cooking videos and fitness oriented stuff.

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thehappyhobo@reddit

Muslims at 6.5% of the population must be making a disproportionate contribution to this countries health and social services.

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Huge-Promotion-7998@reddit

Agreed. The people ready to leave the UK because it's a shit hole really need to get out and explore more of the world to appreciate why the UK is actually a decent and balanced place to live.

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mrs_shrew@reddit

Those kind of horror stories sell well though, so it feels like they're getting shoved in your face constantly. I've noticed r/uk and r/ukpol are full of those stories whereas a couple of years ago they were obviously left leaning and more positive. That shift depresses me more than the content itself because it screams puppeteer.

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rtahoew@reddit

deleted most social media apps, now i just use them occasionally in browser format

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PanchoJones@reddit

I came off social media (Twitter/X, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok) and stopped reading/watching the news. I've come to realise that ignorance can in fact be bliss when it comes to other people's problems. I read a book about having the courage to be happy (although I didn't agree with everything in the book) it talked about staying in your own lane and not taking on the world's problems. It takes a lot of stress off. If I want to find out what's going on in my friend's lives or what's happening in the world, I have to go and talk to people instead of doom scrolling through Insta. Crazy, I know 😂

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dantheman2688@reddit

What’s the book please?

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PanchoJones@reddit

There's two books, both with similar themes The Courage to be Happy and The Courage to be Disliked by ICHIRO KISHIMI and FUMITAKE KOGA ☺️

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gogginsbulldog1979@reddit

Social media. And heroin.

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Andi_Lou_Who@reddit

Deleting all social media. I only have Reddit which I don’t really class as the same since it’s pretty much anonymous. It’s so nice not seeing all the drama and awful adverts filled with animal cruelty which apparently never went against any rules if reported.

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nutellaandbed7@reddit

Entertaining or keeping people in life that does nothing but harm my MH

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nutellaandbed7@reddit

Shit talking about myself

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Postik123@reddit

I stopped watching the news mostly. Of course I do still watch it or read it from time to time, but not every day like I was doing. Not seeing doom and gloom every single day is quite refreshing.

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sammyyy88@reddit

Instagram

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Nuker-79@reddit

Stopped being married to a narcissistic wife

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EstablishmentUsed325@reddit

Drinking alcohol

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Character_Start9227@reddit

Stopped watching TV many years ago. Got rid of FB about a year ago.

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LotusLilli05@reddit

No social media 😌

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kestrelita@reddit

Trying to be perfect. There's a bit of a joke at work that I'm perfect and never make mistakes - I made myself ill trying to live up to that. I never have managed it and I never will.

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Axiom620@reddit

Reading the news everyday and doom scrolling.

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AlexanderNiazi@reddit

Being single

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springsomnia@reddit

Logging into Twitter

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Old_Farmers_Daughter@reddit

I stopped taking my antidepressants a few weeks ago. Was trying to fix my 180-degree wrong sleep cycle, and inadvertently weaned myself from the meds (3!). Have felt more like myself the last 2-3 weeks than I have in the past year or more. And it’s great not to be constantly dehydrated and constipated as well. 🤞

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DryJackfruit6610@reddit

I've been off mine for 4 years now, and the difference is crazy! (In a good way)

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Old_Farmers_Daughter@reddit

They used to help. But just keeping me from crying wasn't enough to put up with the dehydration and emotional numbness. Now I can tear up quite well at dying-athlete movies, etc.

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seven_green_toes@reddit

Amazing work. Stick with your new plan and you will be fine. Poison meds have a bigger impact on neuro receptors than what many people realise, and these drugs are just there to help big pharma. Sleep will improve of you resch for a book and not your phone (if you wake up ans have trouble getting back off) a change of diet will also make a huge difference. Eat healthy and drink more water and you will 100% improve. There will still be bad days but we all have them. Just keep up doing what you're doing, and life will get better. Will be back in a month to see how you're doing. Good luck reddit friend.

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sheopx@reddit

That's pretty extreme, some people genuinely need psych meds. I agree that SSRIs are handed out like sugar pills despite having fairly low efficacy and terrible side effects, but some people do everything by the book and still need extra help. It's an inconvenient fact that some people are just wired differently and no amount of hot showers or long walks will make them well.

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Old_Farmers_Daughter@reddit

I had come to feeling only numb, then just more so...

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West-Season-2713@reddit

There’s a huge difference between ‘we shouldn’t have 1/5 adults on these sort of effective in some cases meds’ and ‘all psych meds are evil poison and you should just go outside’, and for some reason it’s almost impossible to find people who are in the reasonable in between on the issue.

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sheopx@reddit

Completely agree. Like everything these days, it's a polarising issue, and I feel many people are clinging to their radical ideals rather than addressing the (more moderate) truth.

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Old_Farmers_Daughter@reddit

👍🏼

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chloethespork@reddit

There's bad days everyone has, and then there's days with constant panic attacks, suicidal ideation, paranoia, intrusive thoughts. It's not the same. No amount of drinking water and reading a book will help someone in psychosis for example

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FordZodiac@reddit

Commuting to work.

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Gethund@reddit

Working.

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shutupspanish@reddit

Reading the news! And spending time on Instagram.

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CheeseyGarlicBread10@reddit

Going to woek

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rezonansmagnetyczny@reddit

Chasing women. Not that they're bad. I was just putting so much effort into finding a relationship that I forgot to find myself.

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Any-Seaworthiness531@reddit

Facebook lol

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dgirllamius@reddit

I uninstalled Facebook from my phone but still have it on my tablet (that I barely use). I had a quick look the other day and it's an absolute cesspit. My feed was just 99% of things I don't even follow. Never again.

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TeaAndLifting@reddit

Yeah. I barely used it for more than a minute per day since like 2019. While I was at med school, it was useful for some social events and setting up events, but that also fell out of vogue by the time we got to Covid. Whenever I'd go on it in recent years, it'd just be people I know in their mid/late-30s complaining about woke this or woke that, local drama and a lot of "u ok hun? msg me if you need to talk x" that I didn't care for. I keep an account for legacy purposes, but I deleted the app a while back because it was just a waste of space.

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auburnman@reddit

I changed the Facebook bookmark to go directly to my friends feed instead of the homepage which made a bit of a difference, but yeah I check it less and less nowadays too.

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Hippadoppaloppa@reddit

So much this!"

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psychopathic_shark@reddit

Yep. No Facebook, no tiktok, no Instagram (not that I really understood Instagram) life is good

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Hippadoppaloppa@reddit

I never downloaded tiktok and I deactivated twitter, but I'm still enjoying Instagram. For now!

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HugsandHate@reddit

I still don't get the Facebook thing. People talk like there's something to do on there. What? I don't get it. I have it to keep in touch with certain people that don't use other apps. But it's a mostly broken heap of shit. What the hell are people 'doing' on there?

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Any-Seaworthiness531@reddit

Arguing, mostly

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HugsandHate@reddit

You mean in DMs? If I scroll through the feed, I just see ads and random shite. Takes me about 2 seconds to realise my brain's a bit switched off, and I'm on Facebook. And I quickly leave.

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Any-Seaworthiness531@reddit

The news feed

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HugsandHate@reddit

I don't even see that. Also, why the hell are people still watching the news!? More shite. I think I'll stick to watching videos of cats, and people cooking terrible food.

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sherbetsweets@reddit

Absolutely this, and Instagram.

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Any-Seaworthiness531@reddit

Never had insta but ye, FB is weird, it seems the opposite of most other algorithms where it feeds everyone the opposite of what they want to see and creates constant online arguments lol. I was watching a show yesterday and it was talking about Facebook walls and stuff, I had completely forgotten how seemingly innocent and harmless Facebook used to be 😂

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Harry_monk@reddit

By chance I got rid of mine early 2019. When lockdown hit I was so glad to not have all the bullshit opinions to read.

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soverytiiiired@reddit

I got rid when my anti vax cousin contracted covid, spent a month in hospital on a ventilator and when she finally had the strength to go on her phone again, started posting on Facebook about how she had no regrets not getting vaccinated and believed she must have “caught something else” as the nurses were “lying to her about covid”

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becjac86@reddit

Getting rid of Facebook and Instagram is probably one of the best decisions I've made. Strongly recommend it. I did it as a 4 week challenge and six months later I've still not reactivated.

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Blackintosh@reddit

This. I started by taking FB and IG icons off my homescreen and hiding them in folders deep in my app pages. That reduced usage by like 90% instantly as I no longer mindlessly opened them. After a month or so I just deleted them entirely as I finally realised I wasn't missing anything they offer. I replaced them with the duolingo widget so my mindless phone use at least became somewhat educational.. I can now speak basic Ukrainian and Arabic which is nicer than getting angry at stupid political conspiracy posts.

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hashbrowneggyolk0520@reddit

I used to check instagram multiple times a day, but then hid it in a folder on my apps page. I'll maybe check it once a day for a couple of minutes, and that's enough. It's nice to be able to flick through friends stories and see what they're up to, but my actual feed is full of reel and post from people i have never followed??

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Solid-Scorpion@reddit

Giving a f**k.

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maythesunalwaysshine@reddit

Working

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Rattlethestars87@reddit

Quit teaching. I still work in education but I create training resources and have normal hours no evening or weekend work it’s so much better.

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Confuseduseroo@reddit

Going to pubs and drinking,

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IllPlane3019@reddit

Delete LinkedIn and Facebook

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Liber8r69@reddit

Coming off X and not having to deal with an endless barrage of desperate fuks trying to make money from mild zenophobia, 'acceptable' racism and hatred to others. Fuck those fucks. Life's to short.

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lmnz0@reddit

I'd been vaping nicotine for several years, and smoking tobacco before that. I gradually reduced the nicotine in my vape down to zero and now I'm free of it. A big difference is that I don't feel like I always have to escape from social situations to satisfy nicotine withdrawal. Nicotine is often a socially acceptable addiction, yet it is scary how much it controls the user and their patterns of daily routine.

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darthpaul1978@reddit

Twitter.

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MilchickTheBabe@reddit

Drinking alcohol. Better sleep, better decision making and much better mornings!

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Frosty_Ad_3124@reddit

Same, my emotions and response to things is so much calmer and more measured too. 18 months without a drink and I hardly ever miss it.

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sherbetsweets@reddit

Yep yep yep

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Wookiee-Mistake@reddit

When I was in the depths of drinking, I used it to sleep, to take the edge off anxiety, was often feeling low or "just not right" constantly. Then I had to quit as my liver blew up. To find out it was my constant drinking causing those things was quite a revelation. 880 days sober and I sleep like a baby and haven't had anxiety in years now.

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Dyalikedagz@reddit

I'm a drinker whose worst symptom is anxiety and insomnia. I've had some very, very low days due to it (particularly if combined with cocaine) Can I ask how you 'found out' booze was the cause? I've always just kind of known substances brought it about for me. Was weed causing social anxiety and low self esteem when I was a kid, and I managed to kick that at 17 once I actually figured out that high me wasn't the real me. Binge drinking is now my problem as an adult. I'm slowing cutting down on the drinking week by week, and fully intend to never again touch the gear. Problem for me is I genuinely really do *love* a beer. I love it. I dont intend to really ever *stop.* my issue is moderation.

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Wookiee-Mistake@reddit

The main way I found out was when I stopped to be honest. Sleep took me about six months to fix, but the anxiety passed much sooner. I had no idea and it was genuinely a surprise as I'd lived with both for so long. I was lucky my hand was forced when I worked out what the pain in my right upper ribs was. That's the only way I managed to quit tbh.

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CarpeCyprinidae@reddit

yeah, I stopped last October, hadnt been a heavy drinker for a good many years but even then the improvement in sleep quality through going to bed fully sober was surprising.

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Curious-Dreamers@reddit

Seriously this has hit me hard recently. 4-5 days after a heavy drinking session I’m still not feeling right! Honestly just not worth it. Still do drink every now and again because it’s so difficult to avoid in certain circumstances, but actively cutting down. Hoping one day soon I’ll be a non drinker

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PooCube@reddit

I’m in the process of recovering from some quite serious alcoholism. My doctors told me that weaning myself slowly off over six months is my only option because of the damage I’ve already done to my body. I truly envy you for not drinking and I can’t wait to be free of it!

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sharps2020@reddit

Good luck to you, I ended up having to be chemically detoxed in hospital I was so bad, that was about 18 months ago I think, I still drink though, but nowhere near the amount I was doing. I stopped smoking and taking narcotics though, so that's a start. Fingers crossed you.

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Pink-socks@reddit

One day at a time my friend. This is a massive thing you're doing, and I am proud of you for going through the hard work. There will be tough days, but stay strong, you can do this. Source : I used to be very, very good at drinking. Go to /r/stopdrinking there's always someone there, day or night. That sub really helped me, especially in the early days of quitting.

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HairyMuffHunter@reddit

Cant even go to that sub anymore unless you verify!

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Inside_Sentence_6116@reddit

I work in a pub and I’ve just stopped

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Exploding_Gerbil@reddit

Sending strength and support your way. Step at a time is such a great way to withdraw alcohol from your body. Look after your MH too, please? (Drinking in my family history and i appreciate how difficult what you are doing is). Respect. You've got this!

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SignificantBoss8445@reddit

Same!

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Acrobatic-Pudding-87@reddit

As silly as it might sound: stopped caring about football. There was a time as a young man when I'd let a defeat ruin the rest of my weekend and I'd get annoyed when my team's best players transferred to league rivals or we missed out on a signing. Then one day I just sort of snapped out of it. I realized how sad it was and ever since it's been like a weight off.

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morebob12@reddit

Good for you for getting out of it. I do find it so bizarre how invested some people are in their team. It’s fine to support but for it to control your life like that is so sad.

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Airotvic@reddit

This was a game changer for me. I like it when Liverpool win. I'm not arsed if they lose. Forget about it almost instantly. I've got a million other things to be worrying about without a bunch of overpaid crabs who don't know I exist losing some game.

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Acrobatic-Pudding-87@reddit

Liverpool? I follow Southampton so I think you get to enjoy a few more wins than I do! 😂

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Airotvic@reddit

Yeah its been pretty good recently. Rather annoyingly my interest in football began to dip once Liverpool started to get really good again 😂 Lower league football is where it's at though. Before I moved to Canada I lived in Macclesfield for a few years. Great lower league team.

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sherbetsweets@reddit

My male friends left one of our best friends (female) wedding to go over to the pub to watch an “important” match. They lost, and spent the whole rest of the after party in a terrible mood.

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adreddit298@reddit

Given the fanaticism around football in this country, I'd say that's a pretty big leap TBH, not silly at all. Did it affect any of your friendships? Or were you marching to your own drum already?

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Acrobatic-Pudding-87@reddit

My friends were mostly indifferent to football or only followed major international tournaments. I had probably 2-3 mates who were passionate about football, but job changes and moving away split us up. When the last really football mad one moved city I realized it was only the social/friendship aspect that had really kept my interested. Without that I found it quite easy just to give it up. I still check results and watch highlights or my team’s games when I can, but I pay no attention to the league table and as soon as the final whistle goes I’m over it. I treat football like I treat watching a film: two hours of entertainment here and there, not to be taken seriously.

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confuzzledfather@reddit

Ditto. I was football MAD till about 25, now I honestly couldn't tell you the names of most of the first team. All the players I loved got old and retired and replaced by a bunch of kids. I don't know. It just got old I guess. Part of me is sad, the other part is glad to be rid of the mental burden that all that expcteeatio and heartache brought.

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Diligent-Magazine781@reddit

Facebook, Insta and X. Got rid of them in 2020 or so when the pandemic was turning everyone into little hitlers and raving mentalists, and never looked back👍😂

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readitreddit240@reddit

Drinking coffee made my anxiety worse so I cut it out and only drink decaf. Smoking made me feel bad about myself so I quit and been off them for 4 years.

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Hyzyhine@reddit

Thinking

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Tattycakes@reddit

What if the answer is “scrolling on Reddit” but those people aren’t here to post their replies….

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TwoPintsYouPrick@reddit

Nose nachos.

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acorn298@reddit

Talking to my ex-wife once our kids reached 18

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ed_mutts_nutts@reddit

Sniffing coke and drinking alcohol

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asdfghjkluke@reddit

cruel mistresses

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proproctologist@reddit

I stopped using social media as much (Reddit included, I’m deleting it later today). I’ll redownload or log onto each platform once a month for a few days to stay current but that’s as much as I’m willing to give the social apps my time. All of these apps are overwhelmingly negative and it’s easy to chance upon hateful comment threads in innocent posts. I also spend way too much time online. Feel ill when I’ve had a day off but the whole day has been spent scrolling IG

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GloomyBarracuda206@reddit

Funny that my SM is mainly positive. I'm just very selective over who and what I follow, and if I find that a channel/sub, whatever, is becoming less fun I'll unfollow it. It's not really SM that's the problem, it's being drawn into some of the shitty content.

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proproctologist@reddit

Certain topics attract bad apples despite the topic itself being innocent and that’s mostly how I come across negativity. For example, on IG I engage with medical content so it’s not uncommon for educational accounts of people with rare disabilities to pop up. Edgy, dark humour types interact with those accounts as well so I see whatever rubbish they comment

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No-Door-3181@reddit

Working full-time LMAO

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WelshBen@reddit

Drugs and alcohol

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Inside_Sentence_6116@reddit

Being a fat greedy bastard

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eyeball2005@reddit

I’m this at the moment. Any tips?

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Accomplished-Art7737@reddit

Read up about type 2 diabetes and how it can basically slowly kill you. I’m also fat and greedy and have just been diagnosed with prediabetes. This is something that never occurred to me, I didn’t know much about diabetes or how serious/deadly it can be. I’m now on a mission to overhaul my lifestyle in the hope of reversing it. The diagnosis has scared the shit out of me and also caused feelings of shame and low self esteem that I’ve done this to myself. 0/10 would not recommend!

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eyeball2005@reddit

I already know a lot about type 2. I’m nowhere near that fat though

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confuzzledfather@reddit

You don't really need to be _that_ fat to enter prediabetes as you age.

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Accomplished-Art7737@reddit

You can be slim and still end up with pre or full blown type 2. Yes being overweight is a significant risk factor but if you’re regularly eating processed sugary food, it will gradually impact your blood sugars over time.

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eyeball2005@reddit

I’m 20 but yes you’re right

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confuzzledfather@reddit

Ok, you probably have time on your side then. Good luck!

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Inside_Sentence_6116@reddit

Yeah it’s bad my dad has it

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adreddit298@reddit

My old man was diabetic for 40 years, near enough. I'm grateful that seeing him living with it gave me enough insight into it to realise that I don't want to be like that. I'm by no means perfect, but I treat myself a damned sight more healthily than he did.

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West-Season-2713@reddit

Genuinely my best advice is to pay attention to when you’re actually hungry. Not if you fancy something to eat, but if you’re actually physically hungry. Make a small plate of food, eat that and then wait a bit, if you still feel hungry then you can have more. Hunger isn’t an emergency, and consistently eating smaller portions will also make you less hungry in the long run. Good luck!

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eyeball2005@reddit

I take quetiapine and honestly the hunger is crazy. I’ve never had a problem with keeping myself in shape and although I’ve fluctuated I’ve always found it pretty easy to just stop eating. Now that I take quetiapine I wake up every night with stomach pain so bad you’d think I’d never eaten.

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Inside_Sentence_6116@reddit

Yeah this is great advice, I had 1 small meal yesterday, thats it, I feel great😄

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West-Season-2713@reddit

Don’t overdo it on cutting down though, the other extreme will lead to binges and you’ll cancel out any deficit you’ve been in. 3~ meals is fine even if you’re overweight, if you need a rough guide to calories you should be hitting then go to a tdee calculator and cut down by about 500. If fasting works for you then it works for you, but it’s overall CICO not just reducing volume of food. It’s about life long changes not just extreme dieting for a few months. I’m in that boat with you, but finally being sensible about it rather than crazy restrictive and am 2 stone down.

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Inside_Sentence_6116@reddit

Damn congrats, I need to loose about 10 stone, so I’ve got to fast really, seems to be working for me atm

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GloomyBarracuda206@reddit

Think of food as fuel not just as enjoyment. So imagine you have a great car but you put crap petrol and oil in it, don't get it serviced, don't look after it well other than washing it regularly. It looks great on the outside but inside it's gradualy being destroyed by neglect, and will die on you quicker than if you'd looked after it well. With your body, all the poor lifestyle decisions you make now will catch up on you.

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confuzzledfather@reddit

Find a cheap source of GLP1 meds.

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Inside_Sentence_6116@reddit

Just stop eating crap, I’ve gone from eating way over 2000 calories a day and no excersise, to, going to gym 5 times a week having 1-2 small meals aday, drinking basically only water (although I absolutely love water and drank loads before anyway so not much different there) and doing all this with a 4month on ankle surgery. Early days but feel a lot better, right ankle upwards obvs😅😅

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Broken420girl@reddit

Coming off dairy

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folklovermore_@reddit

Saying yes to everything and having a crammed social calendar. I'm a lot more selective about what I give my time to these days and feel much more at peace because of that.

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ForestCl0uds@reddit

Well done! I need to get better at this.

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folklovermore_@reddit

Thanks! I won't lie that it did take getting to an extreme point where I felt very burnt out and exhausted last year to actually start doing it, and I'm still not perfect at it, but it has definitely made a difference in terms of things like stress, sleeping better, feeling like I actually have time for hobbies etc. If it helps, what has worked for me has been either stepping away from the request (if it's via email/text etc) and/or asking the person if I can get back to them, and then thinking about whether or not I actually want to do it before I answer. Sometimes just that little pause is enough for me to be like "actually no, I'm good".

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Silly_Somewhere_4084@reddit

Stopped watching EastEnders

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Newstapler@reddit

I stopped years ago. I used to turn the telly on every weeknight and watch half an hour of stressed, dysfunctional people shout at each other, but then one day I thought, this is juts a slow-acting poison really, it's a small dose of toxicity every day. So I stopped

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Silly_Somewhere_4084@reddit

Exactly how I felt about it. Used to watch it out of habit (Mother, girlfriends, sisters would watch it so I did as well).

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sheopx@reddit

That's an interesting one, was it affecting your mood?

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Silly_Somewhere_4084@reddit

Used to watch it 11 years ago. Grim atmosphere and mockney accents screeching were definitely a downer.

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sheopx@reddit

That's fair. I'm the same with violent or dark stuff, I just seem to absorb it and my mood gets flattened for days.

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SavageJelly@reddit

Turn social media notifications off. For about two weeks I found myself reaching for my phone out of habit to check like a reflex but now I'm more productive, and when I DO open the apps I've got more stuff to look at that actually matters.

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FlatCapNorthumbrian@reddit

Facebook, instagram, twitter, reading the news every day, caring what others think.

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StereotypicallBarbie@reddit

Deleted all social media and stopped watching tik tok and YouTube shorts! Hours and hours of my time watching that brain rotting shit

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pompombum@reddit

Stopped talking to my mother

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WillingnessBitter799@reddit

Stopped wearing my Fitbit, as I was never achieving the 10,000 steps a day, and it was making me feel bad about myself

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mcai8rw2@reddit

Obligatory 'Drinking' Entry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Seanacles@reddit

Drugs

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No_Mechanic2124@reddit

Working for an asshole company

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Miserable_Sector_551@reddit

Supermarket shopping .. I now do it online

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rrainingcatz@reddit

Looking at my soon to be ex husband’s Facebook and the witch he lives with. They even updated their In Relationship section. He’s still married to me. But I haven’t looked for a long time and stopped thinking about it.

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GemoDorg@reddit

I stopped worrying about shit I can't change, because what's the point.

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BarGuilty3715@reddit

Instagram. Love island 😂 Cocaine

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MandaZePanda84@reddit

Alcohol

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CherryLeafy101@reddit

Facebook. I swear there's only five real people left on there at this point 😬

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v_clandestine@reddit

Using instagram, facebook and TikTok. Which stopped me comparing my reality to everyone’s “highlights” of their lives

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Appleincinerator@reddit

Forward planning social interactions

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rachw39@reddit

Deleted Facebook and Twitter. I have a lot of phone free Sundays too. I also follow people on instagram that have similar interests, such as gym and lots of mindfulness stuff. I try not to watch the news too.

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sneakyblurtle@reddit

Thinking about things that bothered me. Particularly things that I've just made up on the spot only to make me feel bad. Learning to say 'I don't want to think about that' sounds trivial but it's changed my life. If you can save some space from the bad thoughts there's more room for the good ones.

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spacedoggos_@reddit

Giving a fuck about coworkers. I got so concerned with a new boss and how they wanted me to work a certain way that caused problems or their judgement or other toxic atmosphere problems. I was a people pleaser. Now I’m going to be here to clock in, clock out, and if anyone started pushing boundaries it’s gonna be a problem.

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JoBoSoMo@reddit

Did the same when a new boss started. Very toxic person who wanted to bend the employees to their (lack of skill and experience) way of working. We were just fine before. Tried to battle it once. They made up lies to try to get me in trouble, I decided my MH was more important than the small-minded p. Just clock in and out, nothing more. Quiet quitting. In the end, I took long-term sick and found better employment. The atmosphere was so toxic that even the union rep told me to get out and save myself. I hope you find better. There's some people out there who are clearly not cut out for management and just want a power trip.

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JoBoSoMo@reddit

I stopped thinking that I needed to have someone with me to go out and enjoy life. It wwas such a ball ache trying to arrange with flakey friends cinema, beach, walking trips, etc, that it started to really affect my self-esteem as they constantly agreed only to drop out at the last minute. Now I go alone and enjoy discovering new things. When I started doing that, these "friends" commented on SM posts about wanting to join next time... I still haven't bothered reaching out to them. If they want to go anywhere with me, I'll let them reach out instead. It's good for your mental health to discover new things!

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fanacapoopan@reddit

Giving a f"ck about what other people think.

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down-4-u@reddit

Therapy, and also just letting myself rest. I’m autistic and I still carry a lot of self guilt that comes with constant social and mental fatigue and burnout, but just allowing myself to actually rest and veg out is helping heal my nervous system slowly. Also, deleting or reducing all short form content on my phone. If I’m watching YouTube it’s long videos, never shorts.

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justoutofwonderland@reddit

Watching or engaging with the news. I know it’s irresponsible, but I don’t think my brain is designed to cope with knowing the volume of human suffering that happens in the world.

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RaincoatBadgers@reddit

It's not irresponsible. I think it's important to be involved, politically, but, you can independently do your research in your own time, and you can focus on a single subject at a time and look at a range of sources And you're absolutely right. Your brain is meant to hunt, and eat berries in a cave with your tribe and your cave-wife A constant barrage of world ending information is physically altering the way your brain processes information, leads to things like empathy burnout

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funkmachine7@reddit

Reading the news. Mostly as the daily news is often pretty nasty.

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RaincoatBadgers@reddit

This is a good one You don't need to know about all the raping and murder and arson at 8am every morning. That's not benefiting you at all, it's just burning out your empathy core It's best to read bites and do research into specific things that peak your interests if you want to be engaged Try not to form strong opinions without looking at all the facts on something. Also, mainstream media has underlying agendas, if you only engage politically on your own time instead of consuming media all the time, you're a bit more insulated against that

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Jen-Jen37@reddit

Reading the news daily. I used to read the news everyday before getting out of bed and it was so depressing.

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RaincoatBadgers@reddit

Mainstream news has its own agendas anyway One of the objectives is definitely to just, burn you out and make you feel powerless.

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Intelligent_Put_3606@reddit

I used to listen to the news (or watch it) - no more - apart from a brief bulletin on my car radio There's nothing I can do about the problems - and it was just another way of making me feel powerless

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HideousTits@reddit

Drugs. And drinking to excess.

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Mikey463@reddit

Stopped being a fat lazy prick. I began Intermittent Fasting, started becoming a lot healthier. I now do not suffer with social anxiety and feel a lot more confident in myself. I have my first 5k race tomorrow.

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2cbterry@reddit

Deleted instagram and facebook apps

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Agitated-Honeydew-41@reddit

Completely sober from drugs and alcohol for over 2 years. Celibate and don’t date or have any dating apps etc for over 2 years. Stopped going to social events that I never actually had a good time at (they were just elaborate, ritualistic excuses for drug use really). I don’t speak to my mum anymore. (Very abusive) I don’t have regular conversations with my ‘constantly in crisis’ friends and give them loads of my energy to problem-solve/reassure anymore. I think I was a people pleaser and didn’t ever realise it, I was taken advantage of big time and was absolutely miserable! I’ve never been as content and at peace as I am now.

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West-Season-2713@reddit

Consistently doing laundry. That sounds odd, but it took me from laying in my gross depression room all day in the same dirty old clothes to actually leaving the house daily, which for years wasn’t even a possibility I considered. Going on a walk every day has also been useful, but the cleaning and laundry is the only thing that makes it possible. Whenever I let things slip back a bit and I have no clean clothes whatsoever, the task of doing all my laundry feels too overwhelming, so I just rot in bed until I get some help or energy or whatever - keeping on top of that has kept me from falling too far into the depression pit.

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AdNumerous7647@reddit

Not overthinking

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Fuzzy_Reindeer_2770@reddit

People pleasing! I was a terrible people pleaser in my younger days, now I don't give a shit who likes me.

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Dechibrator@reddit

Android games

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CarpeCyprinidae@reddit

Weed. Clean about 9 years now. Quite the difference in terms of rationality and calmness.

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SnooRecipes6532@reddit

TikTok lol. My brain feels less chaotic and I compare myself to other mums a lot less.

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Ok_Control5429@reddit

Watching scary/dystopian movies and TV, eating high sugar and ultra processed food, staying up past 22:30 (will also echo alcohol, social media and toxic people as others have mentioned)

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AnyOlUsername@reddit

Trying to impress people by going above and beyond at work. I go to work because they pay me, no other reason. I turn up, do the thing I’m contractually obligated to do, go home and forget about it. Work doesn’t care about you, you are not family. You’re providing a service for pay. That’s it. It should not demand all your of your time and attention. You do not get paid enough to worry about the CEOs bottom line.

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bizzys92@reddit

Smoking weed and drinking alcohol.

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Drwynyllo@reddit

All social media

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grapo2001@reddit

The irony of posting this comment on reddit 😂

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Drwynyllo@reddit

Yes, that's a fair point :-) But I think it's easier to choose how you engage with Reddit than much other social media. It's reasonably possible to stick to subreddits that aren't obviously toxic and click-baity.

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sillydog80@reddit

Texting endlessly.

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Low-Echidna90@reddit

Relationships

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davidoggloader@reddit

Watching the news

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Tricky_Effective3467@reddit

Overthinking.

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Amarettosun@reddit

That's great, excellent work! But how did you do it?

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Tricky_Effective3467@reddit

Noticing when I am doing it initially. Then diverting and putting the thought to one side. Meditation helped in both of these as well.

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Extreme-Delay@reddit

Deleted Hinge. Removed all social media apps from my phone. Instagram and Tiktok was making me miserable and stressed.

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filbert94@reddit

Not going on facebook/ social media where friends post

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ukdenzil@reddit

Getting a Divorce.

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fnigler@reddit

Weed and video games. So much wasted time.

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walphriggum69@reddit

Cutting out social media has improved my mental health significantly.

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aurora_ethereallight@reddit

Stopped drinking alcohol and let toxic people go.

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SugaryFlump@reddit

Stopped listening to the news, came off Facebook and ended a decades long friendship with someone who gaslit and manipulated me and tried to keep me smaller than her!

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__thin_line__@reddit

I've stopped bothering with my narcissist mother. She played mind games and bullied me through most of my child and tennage years and continued to do it when I got married and had my own family. I have recently decided not to bother with her ever again. My brother and sister both sided with her so I decided to block all 3 of them. Also, I have lost 60lbs in weight from eating healthier, walking my dogs 2 miles a day, and doing basic cardio, core, dumbell weights in the house. I now plan to ditch alcohol for good and coffee. Not sure what to replace coffee with.. maybe green tea but not sure if I'll like it lol.

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Maester_Magus@reddit

>I've stopped bothering with my narcissist mother. My wife did the same thing with her mother about 8 years ago and never looked back. Her depression went away, her career started flourishing, and generally speaking we're all so much happier. It's amazing when you realise that you don't have to spend time with people who make you feel like shit, no matter who they are. Even more amazing when you cut them out and and realise how big of an impact they were having over your life. >I now plan to ditch alcohol for good and coffee Ditching alcohol is a good move, but what's wrong with coffee?

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DryJackfruit6610@reddit

Well done, I recently came out of the FOG (fear, obligation, guilt) cycle with my own mother and don't speak to her anymore. What a peaceful mind I have now

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pencilrain99@reddit

Drugs

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hyper-casual@reddit

Stopped wasting my time seeing the GP about it and started getting meds online instead. Made more progress in a year doing it myself than 20 years with the NHS.

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Melonpan78@reddit

Facebook, Twitter, and booze.

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GianantonioRandone@reddit

Facebook

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HairyMuffHunter@reddit

Junk food. Alcohol. Smoking.

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vientianna@reddit

Stopped working unpaid overtime and stressing myself silly about how overworked I was. Literally shut my laptop down at 5:30 every night and what doesn’t get done doesn’t get done. Just been promoted

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JennyW93@reddit

Trying to have a career in academia. I loved being a brain scientist. I loved doing brain stuff. But I was absolutely not thriving in an academic environment and, while I miss brain stuff, pivoting to a cushy life in university management has been life-changing. It still has the usual bureaucratic bullshit, but I’m no longer living at the mercy of successful grant applications and publications to have job security.

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Special-Syrup539@reddit

Speaking to my mum.

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sharps2020@reddit

Twitter/X Facebook Those made the world of difference.

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Spottyjamie@reddit

4 drinks maximum

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MadWifeUK@reddit

Watching / reading / clicking on the news. For starters, the whole point of mainstream news is to turn a profit, and to do that they need readers / watchers, and the best way to get them is to grab their attention with sensational headlines. Secondly, I get so heavily emotionally invested and yet I can't do anything about it. In my younger days aid work was a possibility but not now, I'd be more hindrance than help. So for my own mental and emotional wellbeing, I don't look at it. The vast majority of humankind have lived and died without knowing what was going on in the wider world. Information overload is definitely a thing.

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Mindless_Ad_6045@reddit

Smoking weed.... Then I started again

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Sad-Peace@reddit

Stopped trying to find a relationship, for a multitude of reasons. I’m a woman btw

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TSR2Wingtip@reddit

Saying yes to everything and being a people pleaser. Now if I don't want to go to a social occasion I won't go.

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S1nnah2@reddit

I had a bit of a digital detox and it helped a lot. Twitter, Facebook, bluesky were doing my head in. Also the amount of data I was giving Google just for convenience, so I ditched maps, location services & wallet which made me feel loads better.

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bnnyrabbit@reddit

not exercising

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DaddyRoosGoodGirl@reddit

Left an abusive marriage.

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Dramatic_Prior_9298@reddit

Mumsnet.

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indiegirl1980@reddit

I’ve stopped caring. If they like me, fine, if not I do not care.

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Sweet-Economics-5553@reddit

I stopped speaking to my mother in law.

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DisneyBounder@reddit

I was doom scrolling way too late, so I put my phone down and grabbed a book instead. Ended up reading for a couple of hours with the TV on in the background. Less screen time definitely helped—I slept better, woke up feeling good, and the whole next day just felt easier.

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free_spirit1901@reddit

Stopped engaging with the right wing on social media. Feel better already. Who wants to live their life being that angry?!

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Sweet_Jury_1459@reddit

Cut off a toxic friend who was so negative about any life updates of mine. Constantly rained on my parade and I started to focus on impressing her than living my life. Took me a while to realise she was so jealous and definitely not rooting for me..always minimising my wins . Cut her off and gosh I am back to being happy again.

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awakenkraken@reddit

Probably the biggest thing recently is eating better and moving more. Along with deleting Twitter about 3 years ago.

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messedup73@reddit

Gave up trying to have a relationship with my sister I've tried over the years but come to the conclusion she enjoys putting me down.My mum,dad, brother and sister moved four hours away from me due to dad's job.My mum died three weeks later and basically it seems to me it was a chore for them to visit me and my kids which they missed out on as my kids who are now adults are awesome.She's always looked down on me and last time I went up for my step mothers funeral tried to give her a hug and she pulled away and I decided fuck her I'm worth more.Ive been so much happier now every time I spoke to her on the phone she made condescending sarcastic comments which made me feel like shit luckily my husband's family treat me as one of them and always make me feel valued.

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Weary_Rule_6729@reddit

deleting facebook completely and deleting the instagram app on my phone (still have an account and ill download it when im bored but no more mindless scrolling every 5 mins) its really helped :)

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LaidBackLeopard@reddit

Being so self critical. Easier said than done - it took a good therapist to get me there. Genuinely life changing though.

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Optimal-Idea1558@reddit

Reddit

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heggy123@reddit

Stopped being a people pleaser just to make people like me.

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Huge-Promotion-7998@reddit

Stopped watching horror and other dark films, particularly during the week.

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Redgrapefruitrage@reddit

Deleted my social media accounts. I was comparing my body and appearance to heavily edited photos of people, and my self confidence plummeted. Much happier with myself now.

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SpartanG188@reddit

Bring happy with what I have and removing toxic people

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Polz34@reddit

I quit Twitter/X shortly after Mr Musk took over, felt a lot less aggravated!

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R33Gtst@reddit

Smoking copious amounts of weed and drinking alcohol. Best thing I ever did. Do I miss it? Yes a bit but without it my life is so much better and I can function like a normal human being.

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Poo_Poo_La_Foo@reddit

Working full time. Engaging with toxic people. Turning off some notifications on my phone. Planning ahead. Managing my finances better (on a spreadsheet tracker).

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Forward-Tap2730@reddit

I stopped giving my ex the energy I put into our relationship. Took a few months to get my head straight and cleanse my soul of her, a few months more to stop giving a shit about the lies she told about me, a few months longer to break free of her influence on me and others who could have any say in my life and rn, I am the happiest I've been in a long time. I can't help but wonder what she will pull next to try and screw my life up, but she's been proven a liar so many times. She's been contacting me by whatever means she can, and it feels good to finally have the backbone to say 'no more' to her.

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Geoffrey_the_cat@reddit

Caring less for my own sake.

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SWTransGirl@reddit

Stopped working for someone else, and now I’m self employed. Bliss!

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SignificanceHead9957@reddit

Stopped giving a shit about stupid stuff that wasn't worth the aggro.

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Mellowman9@reddit

Alcohol, coffee, meat and dairy, Facebook, toxic people, laziness and procrastination (this one’s a work in progress!) and being too hard on myself. Honestly I’m so much healthier and happier both mentally and physically.

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AlwaysCreamCrackered@reddit

Talking to my parents.

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Sussex_Lass@reddit

I stopped trying to be monogamous.

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originalindividiual@reddit

Toxic Friends,Drugs.

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capsize99@reddit

this

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