What would you do if a friend stole money from you. But you had no proof?

Posted by pompombum@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 17 comments

If you had £150 in cash because you sold an item, that cash then goes missing and only one person had access to your home. So you pretty much know they’ve taken it.

What do you do?

Pretty devastated as I sold some items on Facebook and received cash. Put it in a drawer in my flat so I could deposit it the next morning. Had a friend sleepover for the night and now the money has gone. They are denying it and obviously I can’t prove it. So is it a write off? Can I report it? I’m pretty devastated about it! I sold the items because I really needed the money.

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seven-cents@reddit

It's a horrible feeling. You know exactly where you put the money. They were the only possible culprit.

You don't want it to be true, but unfortunately it is. I've had exactly the same experience and it made me feel sick.

The only thing you can do is cut them out of your life. There is no excuse and no justification for stealing from a friend.

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pompombum@reddit (OP)

Thank you! It is a really horrible feeling. I’ve searched top to bottom of this flat and my car gaslighting myself into thinking I’ve lost the plot.

I know where the money has gone.

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seven-cents@reddit

I've also been on the opposite end, where a housemate accused me of stealing her "special Swedish sweets".

She'd offered me some at some point, and they were good. Different from anything you can get in the UK, but very salty or very sour.

She had a couple of bags of them. A few days later she asked me if I'd taken her candy and obviously I said no. She then accused me of stealing them all! I denied it and things got a bit heated.

After that I felt incredibly insulted, and she believed I was a sweetie thief. Barely spoke to one another for months after that.

Thing was, she was an alcoholic. She'd get so drunk that she would bounce off the walls on the way to bed. Many stories about that, but one night she was so drunk she got off the loo before she'd finished and left a puddle of piss on the bathroom floor, and a trail of dribbles across the carpet on the landing and up the stairs to her room.

I cleaned up the mess and never even mentioned it to her to spare her the blushes because she was actually a decent person in her heart.

Anyway, about 6 months later the lease was up and the owners were selling their house, so we had to move.

We were downstairs in the living room, and there were a bunch of cupboards, and she'd stored a lot of her stuff in a couple of them.

Lo and behold. Behind a bunch of her stuff, there they were! The entire stash of salty and sour Swedish sweets!

She said oh! Here they are!

I responded; I told you I didn't steal them.

And that was that. No apology for falsely accusing me, nothing. By that stage I hated her guts!

Anyway, that's a long story about a false accusation.

For the person who stole from me in a different situation, I knew they did it. I wasn't drunk, I didn't forget where I put the money. They stole it, plain and simple, but I had no proof.

If you're sober and responsible, then don't doubt yourself ever. Never let someone gaslight you into believing something that you know to be true.

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Responsible_Club_638@reddit

Have you checked down the back of your tv?

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WelshBen@reddit

Make sure you're not being paranoid and making baseless accusations, because if they didn't take it, which is possible, then what you're doing to them is awful.

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pompombum@reddit (OP)

I’m not! I’ve even been gaslighting myself thinking I’m going mental. The money is definitely gone and I definitely put it that drawer where I keep all my important documents. I’ve checked every bag.. every other drawer and corner of this flat! Even the bin. There’s been no one but me and her in this flat. I don’t even have a dog who could have eaten it?

I would never ever accuse without good reason.

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JoeDaStudd@reddit

Sounds dumb but have you checked the pockets of the clothes you were wearing?

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pompombum@reddit (OP)

Yep! And my car just in case I imagined putting it in the drawer.. which I know I’m not

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nolinearbanana@reddit

There's no chance the police would do anything.

You could instruct an MCOL, but you'd lose as no proof.

Caution - Many a time I've been sure I've put something somewhere and then found it later.

Personally I would not trust the friend (but say nothing). Give it a couple of months to see if the money turned up - if it didn't well I'd be pretty sure by then.

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lilynohat@reddit

would go and slowly start messing with shit in their house like swap the salt and sugar and put sugar in their bed and fart on their pillow or something

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JoeDaStudd@reddit

Seafood near the water heater, loosen the light bulbs, sugar in the shower head...

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SJL007@reddit

I know it’s a lot of money mate but it’s a small price to pay to find out you can’t trust this person at all, like the other person say you have to cut them off, and don’t give anyone access to your belongings.

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pompombum@reddit (OP)

Yeah! No danger of me ever speaking to her again. Thing is they know I have nothing I’ve struggled badly myself. And they definitely know I’d have helped them out if they needed it. Not to mention they must have gone rummaging through drawers in the night! I’ve had some really hard times this year but I’ve never stolen from a mate.

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