My mum's got diagnosed with ovarian cancer today, and I'm lost. What questions do I ask the medical team?
Posted by According-Cloud6696@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 41 comments
Basically, mum had a fall a week or so ago & went to A&E. She was checked over, given bandaids etc and sent home. We thought that was it, but then she stared having abdominal pains. The pains would come and go, and she could still drive to work & back, but she had to give up agency work (she's a nurse) for a while. She went to the GP & local hospital - they basically refused to give her an x-ray (apparently her symptoms weren't bad enough), gave her some prescriptions and sent her off.
Well today she went to the main hospital in our area- they ran all sorts of tests, including the CRP test- which came back really high. Off she went to do a CT scan, and she got the diagnosis after.
She's been asked to go back tomorrow for an upper body CT scan (to check if it's spread), tumor markers test & a biopsy. Then, we should get the final results in a few weeks or so. I'm going with her (obviously), and I want to know what questions to ask the doctors & nurses. Bear in mind that these are the 'general' medical staff, and we will not be meeting the oncologists/specialists until all results have come back & we know what exactly is going on.
My head is reeling to be honest, I've cried over the past three hours going over what-ifs & what plans we need to make. Mum's only 62 y.o, she's been the rock of the family. It's just dad, her & myself for the most part - we have a few family friends, but mum has always been the social butterfly in the family. I unfortunately lost touch with most of my mates (growing older etc) & it's quite difficult making new friends the older you get.
However tomorrow & the next few weeks turn out, I'll have to take on the role of cooking, paying the mortgage (alongside other expenses I already help with) & looking after her. She'll most likely be taking long term sick leave (we are looking at surgery & chemotherapy, best case scenario). Dad's in his 70s, and works security jobs when he can. Plus he's got long term illnesses (not cancer, thank God) and he doesn't drive. So it will be up to me mostly, and I'm terrified. I can't even think of how I will discuss this change with my manager. And I haven't even touched on how scared I feel of tomorrow's test results. I thought I would have 20 more years with mum (minimum). I thought she would be healthy for a long while yet, but this has been a shock.
Sorry about the rant, I guess I needed to get this off my chest. My question was - what questions should I ask the medical staff tomorrow while the tests are taking place?
TLDR - mum's been diagnosed with cancer & is due to have the second round of tests tomorrow. What questions should I ask the medical team?
jelly10001@reddit
So sorry to hear that OP. I was in a similar situation early last year when my Mum was diagnosed with cancer, and one of the things that helped me feel less alone was finding the sub forum on here for the cancer she had.
If you have any money troubles or need help working out eligibility for benefits, don't hesitate to contact Citizens Advice - my Mum is back volunteering for them now and helps out lots of people navigating situations like yours.
lemon-bubble@reddit
Your situation sounds similar to mine. Firstly, I am so sorry that has happened. It's shit and it's awful. It's not fair.
My (30 now, 29 at the time) dad (60-61 about to be 62) was diagnosed with stage 3 non-hodgkins lymphoma last year. He's now in remission. Mum legally can't drive so I took on a lot of responsibility. At one point I was taking dad to three appointments a week and doing food shopping, organising medicines, basically running their lives in the background.
Right now, until it's staged and she has a treatment plan, things are up in the air. My dad was lucky in that the goal was always to cure him. But even that wasn't known until he had those results. Dad had 6 rounds of chemo, with each round being 2 treatments 2 weeks apart. 12 sessions in total. Plus blood tests, review appointments, and scans.
Take a notebook with you and write down anything that is said at appointments - you won't and should try to remember everything. Call Macmillan. That was the second thing I did after my parents told me, after crying my eyes out. Macmillan will set you up with a record and can direct you to other areas of support (emotional, financial, medical). No exaggeration, they saved my sanity last year.
You will be given a lot of information and booklets. You'll be given the numbers of teams who will be available 24/7 if ANYTHING happens. Use them. Keep them safe. My dad had awful late stage chemo side effects and that 24/7 number saved his life.
Evaluate where you are now, while things are good and you're not in the middle of treatment. In the first few days, before dad started chemo, I used Macmillan to come up with a plan for work and for me. I set up support around my new found caring responsibilities. I had my work contract changed, and eventually went off sick for nearly 4 months on the advice of Macmillan after checking my entitlement to full pay sick pay (6 months, had used some, and wanted some left over just in case). This was invaluable because shit hit the fan with my dad at more than one point. I needed to give something up and could give up work.
Discuss as a family what you are best to do. I am more practical; so when my dad was given a huge bag of medicine at his first chemo appointment I organised it all. I knew what we were looking for in csees of medical emergencies etc. Mum was better at dealing with nurses and doctors. Dad's job was to just have treatment and nothing else.
You will be surprised how kind people are when you say 'my parent has cancer and I'm looking after them'. Everyone bent over backwards for me. Even the AA when I had a puncture, as daft as it sounds.
Finally, please look after yourself. Whatever comes next will be hard. I had days where I just cried. I had days where I just needed a break - so I'd schedule a duvet day for myself. They helped me to be able to deal with the days when things were really fucking shit and scary.
I'm wishing you all the best. Feel free to PM me if you want to know anything more specific.
UndescribedNeonMoth@reddit
I don’t have advice because for me it was all such a whirl…but I wanted to let you know that when I was in my twenties my mum was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and I’m 44 now and she’s been cancer free for 20 ish years. They managed to get it all in one operation and a hint of radiotherapy just to make sure. I’m an only child and very close to my mum so know how devastating that news is. I wish you and your mum all the very best and hope beyond hope that you get the outcome we did.
LongjumpingStep5813@reddit
The main question by far would be to ask who to contact if you need to. For example consultant secretaries number, if so which consultant or specialist nurse, have a good indication who is coordinating the care as so many people will be involved eg oncology, surgeons, radiologists etc it’s good to have a go too you can liaise with
According-Cloud6696@reddit (OP)
That's a good one, didn't think of that. Thanks!
idontlikepeas_@reddit
McMillan foundation. They can help you navigate this.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. There is help available
medphysfem@reddit
To confirm: Macmillan Cancer Support have a huge range of support available, which can be used by both people living with cancer and their families/people that care about and for them, so they're really really worth a look.
There's a phone line that has nurses on it so you can ask for any support with what questions to ask your clinical team, but also people who provide advice on stuff like benefits/ financial advice. They also have an online community and in certain locations physical support centres. In case it's helpful they also have more holistic support - Eg. Through partnerships with boots can help with beauty and wellbeing advice, and other sources can help with things like wigs/head wraps if that is something that might help!
https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/get-help
Maggie's centres are also really worth a look and are normally located next to large treatment hospitals. They offer a space that feels less calm and clinical, supportive staff and things like discussion groups as well as often activities like yoga etc.
Best wishes to you and your family though.
Cheapntacky@reddit
Definitely Macmillan, can't say enough good things about them.
EitherChannel4874@reddit
1st. Mcmillan are great. Not just for the patient but for their loved ones too so don't be afraid to get in touch with them. They can help with lots of things. They helped me with my disability benefit application at a time when my mind was overloaded.
2nd. If offered chemo and/or radiotherapy, ask the oncologist what the success rate is for that specific type of cancer as it can be very low at times. The success rate I was personally told for my cancer was 4% and I didn't personally think it was worth it for 100% of the side effects as I was having surgery anyway.
3rd. No question you want to ask is a stupid question. If you think of something, ask it.
4th. Find out who the oncology support nurse is and make sure to get their contact details (you'll likely be told this anyway but if not, ask). They specialise in providing support for the patient and family members.
I hope everything goes as best it possibly can and your mum makes a full recovery. Cancer treatment has come a long way.
Feel free to message me if there's anything I can help with at all.
AhoyWilliam@reddit
This is not a question for the medical staff, but be aware of your right to take Carer's Leave should you need to. It is unpaid, but it offers you some legal protection for your job should you have to take on any care responsibilities.
Hopefully this will avoid some difficulties with your manager, if they are the difficult type.
____JustBrowsing@reddit
Just wanted to say that you are all in my thoughts and hope for the easiest and best resolution for your mum x
KrissieBee@reddit
Unfortunately I lost my mum a few years ago to heart failure. She was only 64.
So, I'm coming from a perspective of caring for my mum for th and last 3yeaes of her life.
So given that caveat, what I did was ask her docs/nurses: 1. What can I do to help her 2. What can/can't she do in her current condition 3. What is the prognosis 4. Will she need any additional care when she leaves hospital 5. Are there any restrictions with her meds or food etc
One thing to note is, if your mum is claiming any benefits you're meant to let hmrc know if she spends even one night in hospital https://www.gov.uk/going-to-hospital-benefits
If she will need additional care when she comes out the hospital should assist with setting that up. I think you're entitled to 6 weeks free care to begin with and then need an assessment for anything additional. They will also help with any equipment required. https://www.nhs.uk/social-care-and-support/care-services-equipment-and-care-homes/care-and-support-you-can-get-for-free/#:~:text=You%20may%20be%20eligible%20for,independent%20as%20you%20were%20before
Regarding the mortgage, it might be worth someone named on the mortgage querying a payment holiday if you're struggling. Does she have any ASU insurance either privately or via work that could be used to pay the mortgage in the interim?
If she is going to be out of action for a while, it may be worth getting a power of attorney over her so that you can legally help with more things. Not a bad idea in general for aging parents to be honest.
It might be worth looking into if you are entitled to any carers leave with your employer. Not exactly a long term solution but may take the edge off.
Primarily, just try and be there for your mum as much as possible. I wish you all the love and luck for whatever the future brings.
MojoMomma76@reddit
Seconding the power of attorney point, has been so helpful for me with ageing parents.
KrissieBee@reddit
It's one of those things you put off, and suddenly becomes a pain in the butt to sort.
I used to work in finance, adding PoA to accounts and checking all the documentation. It honestly just makes a whole load of things easier, in day to day life, and if something happens down the line.
It has reminded me that I need to get my stepdad to sort it out so I can help him more in an official capacity 😅. I should heed my own words.
According-Cloud6696@reddit (OP)
Thanks! She has life insurance & critical illness cover, & she was thinking of using any windfall from that to cover the mortgage for as long as possible. But then again, this all depends on the results & whatever treatment plan the oncologists come up with.
Good call on carers' leave - I'll definitely look into that/discuss it with HR
KrissieBee@reddit
It may be worth just checking her critical illness to see what it covers. It may take the strain away from you both regarding the mortgage.
The six weeks free care is a godsend. They were seeing my nan 3 times a day (each meal) and it gave us time to know what she'd need long term. They also provided a hospital bed and walkers for basically the rest of her life. An absolute blessing at the time.
One thing to possibly look into is a drop alarm. I think you get some of this for free as well, depending on income. Any care team should help you with that though.
I know there are a lot of unknowns at the moment, and that adds to all of this that you're experiencing. But if you do need to help out more it may also be worth asking for a compressed working pattern. I moved to that to care for my stepdad afterwards.
Just, in general, making your boss aware of all of this and asking them to support you. A good employer will look after you. I've been a carer since 2018 and I'm really lucky my boss was extremely helpful while I was going through the worst of it.
Most-Swing7253@reddit
My mum just got diagnosed with cancer last week. Here's what we find has been helping.
Tell your manager so they know you might need time and space. I said something like "Hi, I just need to let you know that my mum was diagnosed with cancer. I wanted to let you know in case I seem out of it. We are still finding out what this means." My manager informed the team and let me work flexibly.
You will be given a nurse contact / key worker. Take their number. Ask them questions.
Know 111 is there is there are any sudden changes. Hopefully you don't need them, but just in case!
Macmillan has a support line for both patients AND loved ones. Use it. 7 days a week, 8-8.
Look after yourself as best as you can. Therapy, exercise, regular meals. Whatever you need.
Restorationjoy@reddit
So sorry to hear this. You feel like you’ve been hit by a truck to discover such scary and shocking news. I hope your mother is doing ok all things considered. I would say that despite the natural panic and urgency around cancer, it can take quite a few weeks to be fully diagnosed and before any treatment starts. From what I know I think this is normal. It’s a very tough period as so much uncertainty and things can get better once you have a plan. It’s understandable and tempting to do loads of googling but I don’t recommend it. You can end down a rabbit hole and ultimately, will have experts managing care and treatment for your mum. Some of the best advice we were given was to only tell a couple of very close friends/family about the diagnosis. It helped to knew things calm - each scan and test can be nerve wracking and it would have been horrendous to have multiple people asking ‘what’s the news’. When it first happened it felt like a horrible monster had moved into our lives uninvited and wouldn’t leave - was there with us every moment. Over time that got better but my heart goes out ti you - it’s very hard news to take in. There is brilliant care and treatment out there. Wishing you and your mum all the best
EdanE33@reddit
Please check out https://www.therobincancertrust.org/thriver They provide 'thriver packs' for those who have (among other things) ovarian cancer to support them in hospital
JaneyJaner@reddit
Advice from my partner is to make voice recordings of any consultations because it's hard to take it all in at the time. I wish you and your mum the very best.
MojoMomma76@reddit
Oh my lovely, this is a really hard situation. My friend has just been through this with her own mother. I would make the suggestion of having a look at the Cancer Research UK websites where they have really good leaflets and resources. They also have a factual helpline when you have some test results back where someone skilled can talk you through what they all mean.
I would also look into Attendance Allowance for your Dad if he has care needs in terms of being looked after, but he may not meet the threshold if he can still work.
Might also be worth having a chat to your local carers charity (these are often local authority related) who can provide you tailored advice and support about what kind of assistance you might be entitled to which would actually be helpful.
I’m so sorry you are going through this, I hope you have good friends to take care of you as it unfolds, and that you get the help you need.
beccaboobear14@reddit
I was 24 and my mum age 48 was diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer in 2019. She had some blood in stools and we went to an and e, they tried to tell her she had piles and to leave, I knew deep down something was wrong and pushed for more tests. Three months later she was diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer, her intestine was removed and a stoma placed, she needed a picc line and started chemo, then Covid hit. She’s now in remission.
Feel free to reach out for anything. My main advice at the moment is there is nothing you can do in terms of making a plan as you don’t know how advanced it is. Once you have that information then it will be easier to make a plan with the appropriate teams and know what you’re dealing with.
Stage one is confined within the area; two is spread to the lining, three is present in the lymph nodes and four being also present elsewhere/metastatic. These possibilities will each have their own solution/treatment plan, they can range from a simple surgery to surgery; medication, chemo etc, to the extreme there is nothing we can do now.
Ask how long the results should be, so you know what you’re working with. Go and visit the macmillan team, they are incredible, they can help everyone involved with the diagnosis, they can also offer resources, advice and support for things exactly like this.
You may have more than 20 years with her yet! This isn’t the end, this is simply having more information to be able to deal with it, I’m glad it’s been caught as you could easily have not been seen and then it’s caught way too late.
You can get support such as a carer to come and help with things in the home and to assist her doing basic things like dressing. I had to do all of mums stoma changes and even clean the picc line, we had district nurses visit, but in the midst of Covid it wasn’t easy. Again macmillan can maybe give some help on providing phone numbers and services for these things.
According-Cloud6696@reddit (OP)
Thank you. I was thinking of going the Macmillan route, but not until we had all the answers. I will definitely ask about the results timeline- being kept in limbo is not fun. And I'm glad you've still got your mum.
beccaboobear14@reddit
No not at all, the waiting is the hard part.
If chemotherapy is needed, and due to her age she may have harder veins, ask about a picc line, it’s a line inserted into the bicep, it’s a permanent line they can use to administer any medication needed. My mums veins were fragile and just didn’t hold up, so she got one pretty quickly. Look into cold capping for hair loss if she is concerned about that, we sadly found out too late.
Comfortable clothes and good distractions- a puzzle book, a good book to read, ear phones etc for long medical appointments like a chemo session, my mum would be there for several hours, it’s often very boring, sometimes she was too exhausted to even keep her eyes open.
Get a book/folder with separate sections and add all direct contacts you have, her plan, her medications- time and dosage, and other important medical info, diagnosis and history etc. Having one place with all of the relevant info, especially if you need to call out the emergency services, or nurses change over it’s massively helpful to have. Take it to every appointment or update it afterwards, add any letters/appointments here, so you don’t lose any important information. She may become weak and forgetful so she will not retain all of this information, so this is a huge help for everyone involved.
FenianBastard847@reddit
About 10 years ago someone very close to me was diagnosed with breast cancer. They are now in remission. I wanted to know: 1. What can I do to help them, even if that was just holding their hand? 2. Who can I call if I need to? 3. What will they be able to eat? Will they be sick? Is there any food to avoid, how frequently to drink? 4. Should I be open and honest with them about just how sick they are?
Correct-Ad-879@reddit
My mum had ovarian cancer which was found too late and is no longer with us. If you need to talk to someone my dms are open. I have my fingers crossed it’s found early enough to sort out 🩷
Dazzling-Ad6085@reddit
Your mums fall might have been a blessing in disguise as ovarian cancer can be very quiet and asymptomatic so I have my fingers crossed for you all that it has been caught at an early stage
I would say take a notebook so you can write everything down so the information is all in one place as your mum might be given lots of leaflets
Ask if she will be allocated an oncology nurse or macmillan nurse who will know all ways to direct her to benefits, sickness allowance etc
LadyAilla@reddit
I've just been through a similar thing with my dad at Stage 4 lung. Having been to every appointment/meeting/scan etc with him is I would recommend to listen first. The appts are scary but do let them run through everything with you and your mother first. Unfortunately, they won't be able to tell you a great deal at this stage, but whatever they say and you're not clear, just ask. A lot of the time it'll be that everyone respondes differently, they can't tell you. So there is a lot of limbo but try and trust the process.
Usually. You'll have a nurse in there, someone specialised and senior who will be able to give you more information, (any foods to avoid etc) it's a lot a first. It really is but you'll be the medical PA so to speak, lots of leaflets, things to watch out for, the macmillan team, who btw are wonderful from replacing boilers, attendance allowance, exercise and nutrition advice.
As others have said, don't Google, if your worried, or anything feels off then you will be given the right contacts and don't ever feel that anyone's time is being wasted.
walphriggum69@reddit
When my mum was diagnosed I found it really hard not to spiral but I really managed to gather the strength and channel all that fear into love. Sorry, that sounds a bit lame. I’m here if you want to talk although, I have nothing of any medical value to add that wouldn’t perhaps be considered pseudoscience. There are some fantastic podcast episodes/ audiobooks out there if you are into that kind of thing.
My friend’s mum cured herself of a terminal diagnosis! It always gave me so much hope. Hope is important.
humanhedgehog@reddit
Honestly it's so much better she knows - she had it either way, now you can do something about it.
The critical things are staging and next steps. What are you dealing with? Where are you going and what are you aiming for?
The thing that helps the most is having a supportive family there to help take the pressure off. You know what will help the most - is it practical stuff like delicious food in the freezer, or telling her to call the triage line when she's not feeling right on treatment? What is the sticking point for her?
Wishing you all the very very best in what can be a terribly tough journey. Your being there, caring, and asking questions is appreciated beyond words by her onc team. There isn't one "right way". You do your right.
ByteSizedGenius@reddit
Sorry to hear, I lost my dad to lung cancer when he was 62. Honestly at this stage the useful information and the answers you probably want they're not going to be able to give. There will be a time for stages, treatment options and associated information and prognosis but that's not going to tomorrow and not potentially would the staff doing the tests even know.
I would recommend asking if there are any associated services e.g. McMillan that they can guide you to. They were useless for my dad but many others seem to have had better experiences.
Active-Answer1858@reddit
Get in touch with Macmillan, but you will also be referred to them by the team supporting your mum. They may have already referred. Macmillan have been great to many of the people I see in the community and give advice and resources. There's often cancer support groups, centres etc near hospitals and if you have to drive a fair distance to the hospital there might be charity organisations that can support with accommodation if your mum is ever feeling too fragile to travel. They also can help with sorting out benefits forms and financial advice. They can also offer emotional support to family and carers of those with cancer.
If your mum is having falls and/or struggling with mobility ask for the therapy referral to see if there's any advice, equipment, adaptations that could be given to help your mum for at best and at worst days.
Don't be afraid to contact the GP or the cancer team if you're worried about symptoms or how to manage pain, eating/drinking, etc. They are there to help.
All the best to you all. It sounds like your mum has been active and healthy, it must be such a shock. Right now you don't have answers and being in limbo is awful. Once you know results, even though it's hard, you have direction to go in. I'd get a word into your manager early to give them a heads up, and if your work has any flexibility, work support programs, counselling etc, maybe think about trying it. Take care.
DebateSignificant95@reddit
Are you going to be your mother’s advocate? If so start a folder to collect information from the docs and techs and take copious notes. Search for info and support groups online. There is likely an idiots guide to cancer. But you’ll get better information from the support groups. Cautiously use Google. You can also use webMD for the basics, but you can also use MedScape for the doctor’s eye view. You likely have a long fight ahead of you, your mom with cancer and you with the medical system. I wish you the best of luck.
mish_yg@reddit
Im sorry to hear this too. My mom was 49 when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and although no longer with us, she battled it for 12 years. Firstly i would say its a massive shock and then you start to think the worst. Listen to the drs, you will find questions will naturally follow. You need to know who will be treating her, timescales for chemo/tablets etc. Given finances involved, they can refer you to macmillan. Your mom may qualify for benefits but if not they can certainly assist with financial planning and signpost if they cannot help. Nurses do a wonderful job and will always answer any questions if you forget to ask a dr a question. They will give you information packs and contact telephone numbers. With work, speak to your immediate line manager/hr. If they dont know, they cant help you. Happy to chat through dm if you want to reach out.
PastChemist3265@reddit
Questions to ask: Stage and prognosis Cell type Complicating factors: partial or complete obstruction, organ involvement Chemo then surgery? Surgery then chemo? Time frame for response Alternatives to the proposed plan Support groups/financial support
doodles2019@reddit
If you’re meeting with regular medical staff then there might not be a lot of mileage in questioning them about too much in detail - when you get to speak to the oncology team then they’ll have more info and be able to answer you more effectively.
I’ve been through a not dissimilar scenario and I’d say - it’s completely understandable to be online and trying to find answers but try not to go too mad with it. Dr Google isn’t always right, and sometime it is right … but not for your situation.
The reality is that there won’t be that much that you can do, but you’ll want to do the things you can to feel like you’re contributing and being useful. She’ll probably go through some kind of chemo and that can be really rough - you might want to look into nice things like sensitive shampoo, body wash etc (Aveeno is good). There are things that can help with sickness (although the hospital will certainly offer appropriate sickness meds as well), so you could look into those. She’ll likely spend a lot of time in bed, so anything to keep her spirits up - puzzle books, kindle/books, audible etc.
She - and indeed you and your dad - might need some additional support, see if there’s a Maggie’s center local to you or the hospital, MacMillan also of course offer support. There may be benefits that your mum will qualify for and these sorts of places can assist with what could be applicable as well as mental support.
KatieThrowawayAcct@reddit
Found out my dad (49) had bowel cancer exactly a month ago, he has already started treatment.
I scrambled my head thinking about what to ask, but in actuality we have been given so so much information… it’s an overload. You will be given booklets upon booklets of NHS, Macmillan and Cancer Research documents that cover everything from A-Z. Chances are any questions you can think of will be in them booklets, if not Macmillan website has been very helpful.
You will also spend a lot of time waiting for MDT meetings when they discuss your mothers treatment plan. I would say at this stage, the most important thing to ask is for key dates: will she need more tests? When will we get appointments for them? When will oncologists have the treatment plan ready to discuss? They are governed by strict timelines and targets for cancer treatment, so they can usually give you a good indication of key dates this early.
You are at the awkward waiting stage where everything is unsure, you are left with your thoughts and guesses about what happens next. I promise you, in the coming weeks you will find yourselves knee deep in all the resources you need.
PS. You will also get lots of handy resources about free hospital transport for appointments, Macmillan money grants and even options for household cleaners to take the workload off your shoulders a bit.
Wishing you and your mother lots of strength on this journey ❤️
Jungloveshismum@reddit
I'm so sorry to hear about this. My mum was diagnosed with cancer at age 61, she sadly isn't with us anymore. Like you, I have a small family. I'm really happy for you to DM me re the questions - but general advice is that Google isn't your friend as it's too general and scary and cancer isn't something that we can always rationalise, also scary. I'm here if you want to chat
According-Cloud6696@reddit (OP)
Thank you, and I'm sorry about your mum. I'll definitely DM you asap.
KrissieBee@reddit
Unfortunately I lost my mum a few years ago to heart failure. She was only 64.
So, I'm coming from a perspective of seeing my mum given a terminal diagnosis, please keep that in mind as that is a different position to what you currently face.
So given that caveat, what I did was ask her docs/nurses: 1. What can I do to help her 2. What can/can't she do in her current condition 3. What is the prognosis 4. Will she need any additional care wheb
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