Do you think noncery is more rampant than we realise?

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LitmusPitmus@reddit

100%, i remember reading some study saying nearly 1 in 5 Australian men has had sexual thoughts about a child.

https://www.humanrights.unsw.edu.au/research/current-research/understanding-online-child-exploitation-practices

Unfortunately though the danger is not usually strangers but actually people closer by.

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eairy@reddit

They've misquoted their own source. It's 1 in 6.

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Candid_Associate9169@reddit

But what does sexual thoughts mean? Intrusive thoughts or fantasies or masturbating to such imagery?

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watryatalkinabout@reddit

Honestly, sounds about right. The amount of co workers i've had over the years that have said dodgy shit about teenage/schoolgirls is more than insignificant.

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LegitimatePenguin@reddit

And its only 1 in 5 that are willing to admit it too

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This reminds me of a video on Hannah Fry's instagram where she shows a graph of how with age, women's ideal partners increase in age proportion to their own age, but men's ideal age stagnates at about 20.

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Alternate_haunter@reddit

Pedophilia is far more common than people realise, but that doesn't necessarily translate to sexual abuse.

Most pedophiles are able to keep their attraction in check, so dont really cause any significant societal harm. Even the ones that do, usually realise that what they are doing is wrong, but struggle with impulse control, and its also weirdly common for child abusers to thank police for arresting them.

My team have told me of occasions where they've went in, and someone has admitted to it and said it was a relief that the police were at their door. They've been doing it for a period of time and they were looking for help

If we want to cut child abuse, one of the easiest options would likely just to be reducing the stigma of seeking help for pedophilia from councillors and psychiatrists.

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I assume that Aussies are no worse than average,which seems sensible. I also assume that those admitting to this are a subset of those who would be prepared to do this. I would be surprised if anyone would admit to wanting to do this but be lying. Finally I would hope that the figure of those prepared to do this to children under 10 is much lower than those prepared to do this to children in general. Hope in the way that for younger children it is even more obscene than for older children. If these are true then it is only the fear of being caught that prevents many of us males from such vile assaults. It makes me sick to think of this.

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BrawDev@reddit

1 in 25 means that when you went to school, one person in that class was going to grow up to do that harrowing thing, and the worse thing is they've probably always felt it and been hiding it.

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CrimpsShootsandRuns@reddit

What the fuck? That is actually terrifying.

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Candid_Associate9169@reddit

so 104,000 men in Australia right now would rape a child if there were no consequences.

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worotan@reddit

Except how do you weight the study so that it can be scaled up to fairly represents the whole population?

Statistic aren’t the underlying code of reality being revealed, they’re an imprecise way of getting an idea of how people think.

The fact that they aren’t exact is the most important thing to remember, especially when they are measuring information which is not widely shared.

Look how badly polling has worked when looking at the rise of the hard right, because their experience of voter habits previously could not inform them about radical change.

It’s an odd study/odd set of results:

https://www.humanrights.unsw.edu.au/sites/default/files/documents/Identifying%20and%20understanding%20child%20sexual%20offending%20behaviour%20and%20attitudes%20among%20Australian%20men.pdf

One thing to note is they classed child as anyone under 18 (though the age of consent is 16) and older men were more likely to answer yes

How much this is someone who had sexual feelings for a 17 year old when they were 18? (Back in the day when this was deemed much more acceptable)….or whether this is someone who thought and older looking 16 year old was attractive

The 1/6 stat seems very high (especially when the answers to each of the individual 6 questions was less than 5%—but 1/6 men answered yes to at least one of them.

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hhfugrr3@reddit

This isn't just a thing that affects young girls I'm afraid. After many years of criminal defence work, I've realised that while girls report that men harass them in the street, just as many little boys are victims of sexual assault and rape but it's just not something that seems to happen on the street.

By the time my mum ended her career in the early noughties, she was managing a team of social workers who dealt with incidents of abuse, including sexual abuse. I was starting my career in law and told her about some of the shocking things I'd come across. Turned out she wasn't shocked and had stories that were way way worse than the things that had shocked me.

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pippysquibbins@reddit

Also the amount of abusers that are female - we tend to think of SA as being older men abusing female children but so many boys are victims and so many women are perpetrators. And so many victims are the most vulnerable, eg children with disabilities.

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bookaddixt@reddit

Yep. Doesn’t help that women can’t legally rape someone in the UK, as definition says has to be ‘penile penetration’ (which is so disgusting and outdated). So when rape statistics come up, they only show male rapists.

It’s also accepted and still not widely criticised, although I think it’s starting to (or was anyway). Same as women committing domestic abuse - still not taken that seriously / excuses are made for women.

This is from yesterday: https://www.reddit.com/r/redditonwiki/s/i5eRhEnwVx

I remember ages ago on Jeremy Kyle, there was a guest who came on and it was about how his abused him and locked him in the flat on one occasion. The audience started laughing and Jeremy called him them out and said if he had been a woman, no one would have been laughing, so why was it acceptable when the man was the victim.

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Banes_Addiction@reddit

How often do you hear about child sex offences where every adult informed did everything right and immediately went to the appropriate authorities who then took appropriate action?

And how often do you hear about rings of abusers finding each other in real life, and working together to abuse people for years without anyone asked to be involved going to the cops when they realise what's going on?

A few years ago there was a girl raped over the course of years (ages 13-15) by 20 firefighters in Paris. The whole fire station knew this was happening. They were passing her around.

Why though why are there so many? How can you tell which ones are? Now that I have a daughter it terrifies me. It can’t be that many can it? Like why? I wonder if there’s any research on what they all have in common or signs to spot them.

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Weepinbellend01@reddit

What do you expect the average man who isn’t a pedophile to do though?

I don’t know who the pedophiles are. Afaik none of my mates have ever cat called an underaged girl.

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jtr99@reddit

I don't know. Keep your eyes open, I guess. Don't give someone a free pass for dodgy behaviour just because they're a mate.

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Interesting_Try8375@reddit

None of my friends do that though, admittedly half of them don't even like women as they prefer cock. But for a lot (likely vast majority) of men, is there really anything they can do?

Sure, I can acknowledge there is a problem, but is there a practical solution?

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MrDemotivator17@reddit

All you can do is try to be aware of it and confront it when you see it.

That and try to role model how to not be a vile sex-pest to the next generation (as a dad the rising popularity of people like Andrew Tate terrifies me for my kids’ future).

The vast majority of people committing sexual offences are men. In some cases, 98% according to the ONS. The majority of pedophiles are men. It’s an issue that is widespread amongst men.

Similar threads about “what wouldn’t be tolerated these days”, in the 1990s it was common for lads in their late teens and early twenties to pick up their “girlfriends” from school.

Most of whom were 14 - 15 yo…

Most lads their age were looking at the “fit” girls and thinking “well her boyfriend has a car, she won’t look at me twice now”.

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MouldyAvocados@reddit

One of my friends was 14 and her “boyfriend” left his wife and 3 kids for her. She was pregnant by the time we got to our GCSEs. While we were doing our A Levels, she was pregnant with her second kid and doing ket and pills at the same time. He turned to dealing to make extra money and got her hooked at the same time. I look back and feel ashamed that we were jealous of her at one point, it seemed so cool that she was getting picked up by him after school. Now it’s just sad.

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KittyGrewAMoustache@reddit

Yeah at 15 my friend had a 30 year old boyfriend. We all thought it was normal. You don’t really realise until you’re older just how young you used to be.

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Ch1pp@reddit

I have a friend like that. She's in her thirties now and still thinks she was special and mature for being able to attract an older guy back then. Whatever lets her sleep at night I guess.

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Pericombobulator@reddit

Yes, Mandy at school was gorgeous but us plebs never stood a chance as her boyfriend was about 18 or 19.

I will never stop being horrified by revelations in the media, from Yewtree to Epstein, that seem to suggest that the answer for so many men to the question, “what would you do if you had loads of money and power?” is “fuck kids please”.

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killerstrangelet@reddit

Yeah. I'm 50 this year, and I can count the number of times I've been harassed as an adult on one hand.

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thorny_business@reddit

Ask a room full of women

I'd be too intimidated to enter a room full of women.

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strawbebbymilkshake@reddit

Skill issue

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PatTheCatMcDonald@reddit

APPROX 1 IN 6 FEMALES, 1 IN 30 MALES, HAVE SUFFERED SOME FORM OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE IN THE UK.

SOURCE;-

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/iicsa-report-of-the-independent-inquiry-into-child-sexual-abuse/the-report-of-the-independent-inquiry-into-child-sexual-abuse-section-1-and-section-2-parts-a-to-j-accessible

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ConfectionHelpful471@reddit

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CarrowCanary@reddit

Wanders over to IMDB

Rita's played by Siobhan Finneran who was born in 1966.
Sue's played by Michelle Holmes, she was born in '67.

The film came out in 1987, so probably filmed in 1986.

So yeah, both 20-ish and playing characters who are... 15? 16?

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Ginger_Tea@reddit

The 90210 method.

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txteva@reddit

Rita, Sue, and Bob Too

There's fucking loads of it. From poor to rich, spanning all colours and creeds. It makes me ill and untameably furious. Never let your children do sleep-overs, people. Don't let them out of your sight tbh.

I don't believe in policing bodies and what a person wears, but there should be an outright ban on girls being allowed to wear short skirts to school and no make up or heels. Parents should be vetting what their kids wear and wearing make up etc until they're post 16 (I know, good luck, right?). It should be taught in schools to report any man who catcalls or says anything appropriate to them - girls and boys. We need to make it CLEAR to men that they're making s*xual advances towards CHILDREN. They should be terrified to even glance in the direction of anyone who looks young to be honest. This is a hard line and it's not shamed enough in society.

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100%. So many people excuse women raping little boys, but reverse gender and will rightly call out abuse. And the fact that a man can’t be raped (by a woman / a woman can’t be a rapist) is so disgusting and outdated, and definitely leads to this - when looking at statistics, female rapists don’t show up because they don’t legally exist.

Just look at the way grown women (and men) treated Justin Bieber. Like he straight up got sexually assaulted on stage at the AMAs when accepting an award, his first words were “i feel violated” and people laughed it off instead.

This video shows lots of examples.

https://youtu.be/bl5KydBlwZU?si=qQOQu0Dvu_S3b0ic&utm_source=ZTQxO

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FuyoBC@reddit

Hebephilia is a specific type of paedophilia* where adults are attracted to children in puberty, so yeah, there is something for a pronounced sub-set of adults who are attracted to that age / developmental group, and MANY would say they are not paedophiles as they are not after CHILDREN* or come out with that age old bull of 'if they are old enough to bleed**....' (Yuk, Yuk and triple Yuk).

*If you want to be seriously technical, paedophilia is attraction to pre-pubescent kids only even though in common usage we use it to mean below legal age of consent.

**Relating to girls only of course.

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APiousCultist@reddit

That definition is problematic though, as puberty can occur at literally any age (though there's a bell curve). You kind of have to go by 'expected ages' for it to have much meaning at all, as even relatively commonly girls can hit puberty at anywhere from 9 to 15. So it's a definition that breaks down in terms of usefulness and common sense if you stick to the dictionary. If the term has reason to be used, it seems more sensible to define it according to mid-to-late teens (i.e. an 17yo with 15yo girl/boyfriend - ill-advised as it may be - probably shouldn't be treated the same as a 40yo that is grooming a 12yo).

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emilicia@reddit

Same here. I was getting beeped at and catcalled far more often when I was a teen in school uniform. Shit is gross

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chipscheeseandbeans@reddit

Men evolved to be attracted to fertile females. & over the timespan of humanity, “age of consent” is a very new concept. So yeah, I’d expect most men have been attracted to teenagers, whether they admit it or not.

The kids in care homes were groomed and raped by the people responsible for them.

This was what was happening in the same area, but in a boys care home

"On 28 November 2012, an alleged victim waived his right to anonymity in a television interview with Sky News to say that he was sexually abused by Smith at a council-run residential special school. Chris Marshall broke down in tears during his interview when describing the sexual abuse he said took place at Knowl View school in Rochdale in the early 1980s. He said that as a nine-year-old boy he was taken to a room and made to perform oral sex on Smith and one other man. Smith was a governor at the school and allegedly had his own set of keys"

"Following claims by MP Tom Watson of "a powerful paedophile network linked to Parliament and No 10", it was reported that Scotland Yard detectives investigating allegations of child abuse at the Elm Guest House were looking into allegations that senior politicians abused children in the 1980s and escaped justice"

"Allegations were made that a paedophile ring had been operating for decades in the town of Rochdale and that men from as far away as Sheffield were travelling to Rochdale to have sex with Knowl View boys aged between eight and thirteen.[86] Greater Manchester Police said there were 21 suspects, 14 of whom it had identified, including Smith.[87] In July 2014, Rochdale council's inquiry into child abuse linked to Smith at Knowl View residential school was halted at the request of police. Greater Manchester Police asked the authority to suspend their inquiry while detectives investigated claims of an institutional cover-up.[88] The investigation found no evidence of a cover-up."

"In 2015, a retired police officer said that he was threatened with the Official Secrets Act after he found Smith in the home of a known sex offender with two drunk teenage boys and a police sergeant in civilian clothes. The retired officer said that he was summoned to a meeting with a senior officer at Stockport Police Station and told "in no uncertain terms" not to say anything about it. "

All and more from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyril_Smith#Allegations_of_child_sexual_abuse

What I'm saying was the exact same thing was going on in homes for girls and the authorities not only turned a blind eye, but were actively covering it up.

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GamblingDust@reddit

Wow. That's absolutely vile. I wonder what MI5's rationale was for destroying evidence

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bookaddixt@reddit

Some of them / the higher ups were involved. There’s been claims about this all over the country, there was a paedophile ring around Westminster starting from at least the 70s/80s, but investigations never go anywhere (that one was also mostly boys I believe)

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Vertigo_uk123@reddit

Police were definitely complicit. It was in recent court documents of an incident where a guy was getting oral from a very clearly underage girl. This was in the car park next to the police station in Rotherham. A couple of police officers pulled up and asked what was going on. The offender replied “she’s sucking my cock”. The police just left and didn’t intervene or even ask if the girl was ok or anything.

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wizaway@reddit

That's not what happened at all. I had an ex who was a social worker in the area of one of the biggest grooming gangs. They did not groom the girls at all.

I mean I can find a million examples of small groups of men that groomed these girls themselves, are you really trying to say that none of the asian men groomed these kids and that it was the care homes??

https://www.gmp.police.uk/news/greater-manchester/news/news/2025/june/men-who-groomed-girls-for-sex-in-rochdale-brought-to-justice/

'The jury heard how the men preyed on the vulnerabilities of the women – who were as young as 13 at the start of the abuse. Some of the men groomed the victims when they worked at an old market stall in the town which was run by Mohammed Zahid (64), who was nicknamed ‘Bossman’. Taxi drivers in Rochdale would also be introduced to the girls for sexual exploitation.

Over years of offending, the men made the victims their ‘sex slaves’ and expected them to have sex wherever, whenever. The men would groom the victims and abuse them on the Moors, the market, shops, houses and warehouses.'

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Allydarvel@reddit

I never said none..but very few.

"Over years of offending, the men made the victims their ‘sex slaves’ and expected them to have sex wherever, whenever. The men would groom the victims and abuse them on the Moors, the market, shops, houses and warehouses."

As I said in another post, it was in the police interest to have the Asian gangs as groomers.. Since they were up to their necks in it themselves...""In 2015, a retired police officer said that he was threatened with the Official Secrets Act after he found Smith in the home of a known sex offender with two drunk teenage boys and a police sergeant in civilian clothes. The retired officer said that he was summoned to a meeting with a senior officer at Stockport Police Station and told "in no uncertain terms" not to say anything about it. ""

Most the girls had come from care homes and had already been groomed/sexually assaulted before they ever met a member of a 'grooming gang'

Over years of offending, the men made the victims their ‘sex slaves’ and expected them to have sex wherever, whenever.

Horrid sentence..but where did these girls come from..why did they keep coming back? I'll tell you, because they were addicted to alcohol and drugs to get over the abuse..and those guys supplied it.

They were animals, and they thoroughly deserve what they got and more..but there are many more people involved and were so before any of the Asians were.

As I said, this came from a girl I trust, and who was actively involved in the aftermath. She had no love for Asians, but she was adamant there were others worse who were getting away scot free.

From Rotherham.."From the late 1980s until 2013, group-based child sexual exploitation affected an estimated 1,400 girls, commonly from care home backgrounds"

Your second link too..then gave them cannabis and cocaine..the drigs along with alcohol that the girls turned to after being initially grromed

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-crepuscular-@reddit

There probably were some grooming gangs who maybe started off as opportunistic but became more organised over time, but from my contact with a grooming gang, yeah that one was very opportunistic.

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merryman1@reddit

That's not an exclusively Pakistani thing though is the point, and the focus on that as if it is kind of covers up that there are plenty of other folks going under the radar while doing the exact same shit. There was one just recently where 3 (white/British) men kidnapped a 12 year old girl and gang raped her in the back of a van over several nights. She'd been groomed for months by one of the three and been getting involved with groups of other men beforehand.

Its a really fucking horrible topic so I think a lot of people try to find ways to shy away from it and make it an "imported" problem rather than something that's been happening to dozens and dozens of young people every single year up and down the country for decades and decades.

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marbmusiclove@reddit

And care homes were being run as brothels…

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Worldly_Emu5179@reddit

I mean sure, we can concede that there was some inappropriate sexualisation of young girls from other sources throughout the 90s and 00s

But there clearly wasn’t just a general ‘rampant’ culture of gang-raping young girls, torturing them with broken glass and hot iron etc, then justifying it in court by saying things like ‘we are the supreme race, not these white bastards’, ‘this was just punishment for not following our religious standards’ etc

Quite frankly, it’s INSANE- and incredibly insulting- to act as though ‘everyone was behaving that way back then’. Were you?

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terryjuicelawson@reddit

Think how many girls in school had older "boyfriends" with cars, that is essentially how many of the grooming gangs operated. Many thought they were in a genuine relationship. Then think of child celebrities where everything changes the moment they turn 16 or 18. Like all bets are off. Surely it suggests they at least had some thoughts in the years leading up to that. They just couldn't admit it or act upon it.

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Saddinub@reddit

think how many girls in school had older "boyfriends" with cars

God, in the early 2000s the road down from my high school was half mom's picking up kid's and half 25 year old drug dealers picking up their year 9 girlfriends.

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No_Function_418@reddit

When i was in year 9 in a uk school (14yo) there were girls in my year dating 27yo's and sexually active! Im 29 now and I couldnt imagine dating an 18yo. Let alone 14 ffs! Makes my blood boil as an adult.

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TheGorgeousJR@reddit

Yep, same. And I always thought the school I went to or the area it was in was quite a middle class place and yet if that’s true then deprivation has little to do with it and it’s just sickeningly rampant (or at least was, this was 25 years ago).

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crucible@reddit

Yes that was happening at my school in the 90s. The more attractive girls generally getting a “boyfriend” of 18 - 22 years old, when they’re 14 and you’ve only just all started Year 10…

Said boyfriend usually had a driving licence and a knackered car (Golf, Astra, Fiesta etc).

93Writer@reddit

I think it's more that the noncery problem is so bad when homegrown, that we shouldn't also have to be dealing with endless coverups of similar actions from organized immigrant communities.

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Short-and-paranoid@reddit

Yeah my ex bullied his way into a relationship with me, his daughter was my age and he just kept persisting love bombing and guilting until I gave in. Meanwhile he would rant on about Asian men coming to our country and grooming young white girls. Seems like the real problem was he was making up racist bullshit because he wanted young girls for himself.

C_Major2024@reddit

Well, it's normalised in this country. A drunk older bloke in a bar isn't going to get jumped for flirting with an underage waitress. I've witnessed managers and supervisors coming onto or making inappropriate comments to underage female employers, and it gets laughed off. I've seen old men going up to young girls in bus stations and coming onto them. Nobody bats an eye or cares.

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bluejackmovedagain@reddit

I'm about a decade older than you, but I had plenty of similar experiences in my teens. The media coverage of teenaged female celebrities in the 00s and 10s was still pretty horrific too.

Good to see the lines from his biography he wrote about himself are still doing the rounds ;)

You'd have to fill it with a lot of helium to have any effect as radio studios aren't airtight, and the news reader mighthave more of a death problem than a squeaky voice problem with the amount you'd need

Nothing with Chris is to be believed, face value, it was an early sign of his that people will believe anything you tell them and not question their sources ;)

England? Wales? Scotland? Northern Ireland?

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specofdust@reddit

The UK absolutely is one country, the UK of GB & NI is a country.

The "home nations" are lip service to weirdos.

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TywinHouseLannister@reddit

Agree

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specofdust@reddit

I think we just do this silly dance of confusing the fuck out of the whole world by using the word "country" in a totally non-standard and borderline meaningless way just to stop the Scotnats, taffies, and the totally chill Irish-identifying-Brits happy.

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TywinHouseLannister@reddit

I wouldn't have put it like that - spicy haha - but, yes

I was going to write that we tend to reserve "country" for sovereign nations when referring to foreign territories, most brits wouldn't dream of using the term for California, USA or Jutland, DK etc but it is thrown about for the home nations.

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abyssal-isopod86@reddit

Same in England 🤷 https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2021/may/04/child-marriage-thriving-in-uk-due-to-legal-loophole-warn-rights-groups

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RapidIguana@reddit

Fair, where you at?

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Wales doesn't always share the same laws as England now either (e.g. any form of smacking is illegal in Wales but gentle smacking still allowed in England)

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abyssal-isopod86@reddit

Yes I know I did not say that England Wales have the same laws I said that Scotland does not share their laws.

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CarelessTangerine185@reddit

There's no specific legislation actually prohibiting 'page 3' style photos in any UK jurisdiction (Despite a few failed attempts).

The Sun stopped it back in 2015 due to a couple of campaigns that had been ramping up, but it's not illegal if they wanted to start up again.

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Extreme-Kangaroo-842@reddit

As a young teen in 1987 it was rather exciting that Page 3 model Maria Whittaker was on the cover, scantily clad, of the game Barbarian. And a year later Barbarian 2.

It was only very recently I learnt that she was 17 years old during the original game photoshoot. And she was a well established/known model by that point.

17! My youngest daughter is 18 and I cannot possibly comprehend me or my wife allowing her to do anything like this - legally an adult or not.

At the time there was a furore over it. But not to do with her age - it was the fact it was a scantily clad woman, not someone who was so young.

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Necessary-Purple-387@reddit

[...] allowing her to do anything like this - legally an adult or not.

Depriving her of a legal right to prevent her from a legal act. Well done. Men telling women what they can and cannot do with their bodies.

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buford419@reddit

How do you know it's a man you're responding to?

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Necessary-Purple-387@reddit

Try to read.

I cannot possibly comprehend me or my wife allowing her to [...].

The person was a young teen in the 80s.

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buford419@reddit

A woman can have a wife.

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Necessary-Purple-387@reddit

Of course they can; hence, my "The person was a young teen in the 80s". It was much less common back then.

Reasonable joining the dots is still allowed. But, yes, who knows? Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong on the gender, but the main point still stands:

Depriving her of a legal right to prevent her from a legal act.

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buford419@reddit

Lots of things are legal, parents are allowed to restrict their kids from doing them in order to protect them. A 17 year old is still a child even though technically they're able to consent for such things, but a lot of 17 yr olds are idiots and need guidance. Your indiscriminate approach would be nice in an ideal world, but the world is shit, so sometimes parents have to protect their kids from such shittiness.

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Necessary-Purple-387@reddit

Are you for real? The person I replied to literally said:

My youngest daughter is 18.

At 18, it doesn't matter if it's your father or mother, they cannot restrict your legal rights.

Not a one. I was expecting at least some moobs

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johnbarnes351@reddit

Here you go brother x

That's a myth, it never happened. There was a website with such a countdown but the Sun didn't actually do it. The Guardian made up that it was the Sun.

He's a good egg.

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MDFHASDIED@reddit

Yeah that was fucking weird... like legal for what and for who? For them?!

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sagaof@reddit

I hate the Sun and I think they're truly awful but this is a huge myth, it never happened.

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JackXDark@reddit

The most egregious example of it was Linsey Dawn McKenzie in the Sunday Sport.

They showed pictures of her gradually wearing less, until her 16th birthday when they showed her topless.

Charlotte Church claimed that the Sun did this, during one of the enquiries into media intrusion, but was mistaken, although there was a grain of truth in it.

What actually had happened was that someone independent set up a website to countdown to her 16th birthday, and the Mirror reported on it, and included the number of days it said at the time.

So what happened there wasn't quite a tabloid posting a countdown, and it wasn't the Sun, but by doing it this way, the Mirror may as well have.

Piers Morgan was editor of the Mirror at the time and almost certainly approved this. Because of fucking course he did.

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pm_me_boobs_pictures@reddit

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2011/dec/29/leveson-inquiry-sexist-offensive-reporting#:~:text=The%20Sun%20and%20the%20Sunday,%2C%22%20according%20to%20the%20submission.

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We have a responsibility to ourselves to keep ourselves safe from harm.

In an ideal world this wouldn't be the case, but in such a world we also wouldn't have to lock the doors to our houses nor our cars.

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CongealedBeanKingdom@reddit

Elders

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cosmicspaceowl@reddit

Bob Bobberson of 1 Bobbert Place, Bobtown.

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TableSignificant341@reddit

Adult men opening and loudly drooling over 14 year old Ana Kournikova. I'm roughly the same age and it was so disturbing to think men old enough to be our dads and grandads openly sexualising her.

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LondonPilot@reddit

I think it goes deeper than this.

First of all, let me start by saying that I’m male, and a lot older than both you and OP - but I have three daughters (one of my own, and two stepdaughters) around OP’s age. One stepdaughter in particular tells me that she experienced exactly the same thing, the others haven’t said anything but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened to them.

Here’s my perspective on it: I’m attracted to a range of women. Let’s imagine I’m on a train, and I see (for the sake of an example) a mid-30s blonde woman with a pretty face and large breasts. There’s a reasonable chance I’ll find her attractive. That’s not illegal - and she’s well above the age for this to be considered “noncery” (although there’s another word I’d use here that begins with a p which I think works better) - and I’m not just talking about “looking grown up”.

Am I going to wolf-whistle at that woman? Or stare at her? Or go out of my way to do anything that’s likely to make her uncomfortable? No - because I’m a sensible human being. I’m going to probably make a conscious effort to ignore her, to look away from her, so as to be sure to not make her uncomfortable.

In order for young women (girls, in fact) to experience what you and OP experienced, you’ll need to encounter men who:

Are attracted to young girls, AND
Are sufficient arseholes to want to make those girls (and by extension, people in general) uncomfortable

Fixing either of those things would make life better for young girls. Fixing both of them would be ideal.

On behalf of (what I hope is) a majority of the male half of the species, I can only apologise for what men have put you and other young women through. Society is getting better at making it socially unacceptable to be a nonce, and also socially unacceptable to make people feel uncomfortable, but it’s too slow on both fronts. But I think it helps to realise they are two separate things.

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dippedinmercury@reddit

Latest stats I remember - about 10% of the adult male population admitting to having sexual interest in minors.

Note there is a difference between having those thoughts and actually acting on them. It doesn't mean that 10% of the adult male population is actively abusing or seeking to abuse minors.

It seems to be a very high number but not unrealistically so.

Another recent worrying stat - 20% of the adult male population would commit rape if they were 100% sure that it would be consequence free for them.

It is almost impossible to carry out research in these fields or obtain accurate statistical information on these topics because very few would want to participate/answer truthfully unless they could be 100% anonymous.

So whether the numbers seem high or low, I would always worry that we simply can't know one way or the other.

But looking back, I can safely say that even a childhood as relatively safe and comfortable as mine was full of this shit. From a very young age I knew to expect that adult males were to be distrusted and that they were more likely than not to have bad intentions. I saw and experienced a lot, and so did my peers. It was, one way or the other, an ever present issue in classrooms and friendship groups.

I changed schools a lot, and I remember that there was more than one teacher per school - in every single school I went to - that wasn't allowed to be alone with pupils or to go on field trips/overnight stays with pupils. As an adult I think back at that and wonder what the rationale was. Not to keep them away from pupils if they were a safety risk, of course, but why on Earth they weren't removed from the school altogether if they were known to be any kind of risk whatsoever. What's the argument for keeping them on board? I suppose I'll never know. I hope the attitude would be very different today and that they would be yeeted out of there immediately.

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GavinF83@reddit

There was the Inbetweeners episode about it too and as someone who was only slightly older when that show came out there was a lot of truth in it. It was well known that a good number of teachers at my school were having sex with the pupils. Only a few of them received any sort of punishment for it.

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BrawDev@reddit

Another recent worrying stat - 20% of the adult male population would commit rape if they were 100% sure that it would be consequence free for them.

This has came up on the James O'Brien show a couple times since that case in France. It's bewildering that case in which a Husband effectively pimped out his own wife and a group of men I think it was beyond 30 just went along with it, raped her, never reported it as long as they got theirs.

It gave a perspective that still kinda shakes me that the question of you can't be sure that if you went to your friends, and asked them if they wanted to rape your wife, they wouldn't say no. Just based on the data, there's a good chance someone would say "Yeah why not"

Like, that's fucking crazy. ugh

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dippedinmercury@reddit

I have been trying to remember where my brain picked up that stat but I think it might have been the radio or a podcast as I listen to a lot of current affairs/debates. So it's likely that it was on the topic of sexual violence and I can easily imagine that the Pelicot trial formed part of that. Sometimes my brain just pulls out bits of information and clings to them but bins everything else. So useful. 😅

That's part of the problem, you will have huge issues getting accurate numbers on these things.

If you're only going by convicted criminals then you'll be way off because only a tiny percentage of abuse cases actually end up in successful conviction. There's a huge number of victims who never report, or report but their case is dismissed, or the case goes to court but the perpetrator can't be convicted for whatever reason.

But then again, it's not very useful just to look at convictions/people actively committing abuse against minors, because there'll be a long string of people who have thoughts/fantasies but don't act on them for whatever reason. If you want to know how prevalent it is, you have to count those in as well. But you can only count those in if they admit it.

And if you then want to find out amongst those who admit it whether or not they've acted on the thoughts, you'll only get a yes from those who have the guts to admit that. Considering many of them won't be convicted and might live the rest of their lives without having to face any consequences - as long as no one finds out, that is.

A hugely complex issue.

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Feisty-Summer9331@reddit

I agree with you, it is shocking how many men are out there having desires involving kids. I never understood it and it would appear I'm bloody lucky that I don't have to fight any "urges" of this nature when so many do. I agree it's not a crime if you don't act on it but holy hell how can people cope if they're attracted to kids, I can't even begin to imagine

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dippedinmercury@reddit

I guess a lot of people - gender irrelevant - are attracted to various things that aren't technically legal.

Both genders tend to fantasise about rape, whether committing it or being a victim of it. Some people live out those fantasies in a safe way through roleplay. They want it to be as realistic as possible but they don't actually want to break the law.

We kind of accept at a societal level that some people want to have sex in public as well, and while not everyone wants to witness that and I'm sure it's technically not legal, we kind of turn a blind eye to it as long as it's not happening in front of children or something.

So we give ourselves and each other a lot of leeway with some things, even if they're not really legal/based on something that's not entirely legal.

Living out your fantasies in a harmless way is just not very doable when the object of your desire is minors.... And I really hope that the fact that you can't do that at all without crossing a very real, very well defined and very serious boundary is enough to stop the vast majority of the people who have these thoughts from doing something that they can never undo.

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Bread-But-Toasted@reddit

This blows my mind as a male how openly perverted others can be, especially to teenage girls. As an adult I don’t have the biggest group of friends but I can quite confidently say if any of us witnessed anything like this we would lose our shit, regardless of how old the female is. I have a daughter, she’s only a toddler now but I don’t think I’ll ever be comfortable letting her out into the world no matter how old she is. I would say more men need to protect women but it shouldn’t even need to be that way. In a world of constant surveillance, tighter laws and stricter punishments need to be put in place to get these creeps locked away.

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Suspicious_Hotel_908@reddit

There's a channel on Rumble called "share for awareness" that catalogues the Paedo hunting groups in the UK. It's honestly horrific how regularly these stings are posted. There can be north of 10 single stings uploaded in just one day.

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im_not_funny12@reddit

I play in brass bands. An organisation where people of all ages mix socially.

The pedophilia is rampant. I know of more convicted pedos then I can count on both hands. These are men (and they're all men) who I know personally. Some are convicted and went to prison. Some were struck off from teaching and were put on the register.

All of them are teachers or people in some position of education. One of them is married to the one he went to prison for. Many of them have been in local news. You can Google their names and see the stupidity they've been up to.

Mainly it is older men who get far too close to young teenage girls they teach and abuse their position. One was genuine young kids (he's still in prison). One had been grooming them since they were young so he could abuse them when they came of age.

So in short...yes. its a lot more rampant than you think

GavinF83@reddit

It’s quite a dangerous narrative to be honest. It means those paedos who don’t have the stereotypical look will find it easier to get away with it and it means that those guys who do fit that look but are completely innocent could be unfairly targeted. It does need to be made clear it could be anyone.

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UnIntelligent-Idea@reddit

A couple of years ago I found out my best friend's husband had been SA'ing a young employee of his (while 15/16/17).

Until that point, he'd been one of our best friends, someone I'd trust with my daughter without a second thought (our girls were the same age).

The girl in question didn't want to press charges, but rather her aim was to get him to back off. My friend decided to stay with him, despite all attempts to make her see reason, which ended our friendship. He's still out there, playing the normal person. It makes me sick 🤢.

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Short-and-paranoid@reddit

So many people staying with their partners after unacceptable behaviour. It’s really sad and just reaches them that they will keep getting away with it.

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UnIntelligent-Idea@reddit

Denial is one hell of a drug.

Friend ended up defending Husband, saying it was an affair and he "fell for the wrong person". So much from her mouth out of the SAer's playbook. She expected me to support her choices, but I simply couldn't support that "choice".

I see her as both another victim of his through coercion/manipulation, AND as a accomplice in her allowing him to get no repercussions. It's a complicated thing.

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Short-and-paranoid@reddit

My mum and her husband adopted my younger cousin. One night when she was 15 and just got out the shower I heard him whispering in her room, he’s a loud man and I’ve never heard him whisper in around 15 years of knowing him.

Shortly after she came to talk to me and said he’d been sexual with her. I told my mum and also told her I felt he’d looked at me in weird ways before which my cousin had even picked up on. Her and him were cuddled up close all the time and one time when I had makeup on (I don’t wear it often) she asked him “why do you keep staring her like that?”

My mum told the police she was lying and had her removed. Of course I have no proof of anything other than the odd behaviour I mentioned to my mum. I was also abused from the age of 8 by an older cousin, I never told my family because I knew I’d be seen as the one in the wrong.

I’ve covered up for other men who have abused me in horrific ways as I’ve gone through life. I’ve just had my family accuse me of being sensitive for walking away from an abusive relationship and involving the police after 6 months of him continuing to stalk and bully me.

At age 33 I’ve had enough and I’m not keeping quiet anymore. Fuck what anyone else thinks about me speaking up. I don’t need their respect but future generations of young girls deserve better.

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UnIntelligent-Idea@reddit

I'm so sorry that you suffered all of that. So many people have let you down.

Something that sticks with me is a quote/saying - that Abuse only thrives in the Dark.

People HAVE to speak up, we HAVE to shine a light on it. Abusers rely on people keeping quiet. Once that light is shone on it, people see who they are. Only then will the abuse stop.

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FanParticular1096@reddit

More common than you think

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360Saturn@reddit

When I was younger I had a friend who was an abuser, not of children thankfully although that's a small mercy. Once again he was nothing like the stereotype, was a chatty, charming, jokey guy who liked music and sports. He and his girlfriend were always very close and she liked spending lots of time with him and didn't get along so well with her family.

Or so we thought, for over a year. He'd been isolating her and feeding her lies, and also hitting her behind closed doors among other things. It had got to the point where he felt confident to lie about stuff that had happened in front of her and his friends, knowing she'd feel pressured to agree and she would, so she was becoming part of the made up narrative herself.

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greenhairdontcare8@reddit

Jesus christ

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RaspberryTurtle987@reddit

Same with rapists too. It's not some slimy smelly unshaven dude lurking in the alley, it's more than likely someone you know

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crucible@reddit

We have had this point made repeatedly in Safeguarding training in the schools I have worked in.

The trainer will pull up a slide of quite ‘normal’ looking people and then go through the fact they’re all paedos.

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nothingbuthobbies@reddit

Does the UK have a publicly accessible sex offender registry? Here in the US you can pull up a map anywhere in the country and see where every convicted sex offender within a certain radius lives. I just looked where I live now, and it was pretty unsettling.

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Sivear@reddit

Not a map which you can freely access.

You can request this information from the police.

It’s called ‘Sarah’s Law’ if you’re interested in reading about it.

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MaizeGlittering6163@reddit

I had a job leading those “computers for jobseekers” courses the DWP would send claimants on. So I met a fair few of these characters who had higher than average unemployment rates. They definitely have the same attitude; I believe they don’t think what they did was wrong, so they all have the hump about the onerous restrictions for something which in their view is not even as serious as a speeding ticket. They’d come up to me with the same semi-boastful little speech about how they might have an issue with internet access.

TheGorgeousJR@reddit

I’ve always wondered about this. Did you come across a lot of homeless people who were convicted s offenders?

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Brave-Engineer3962@reddit

Thankfully not, I must have worked with a few hundred people over the years and maybe 15/20 known offenders. The police were usually pretty good at keeping tabs on them and sharing info with us - so we were aware of the risks and could avoid lone working with them.

That said, we found out about one because he was on the run and his mug shot was on crimewatch 😬

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dippedinmercury@reddit

Yep. One of my friends is a pastor and visits prisoners on request. He generally doesn't know what they are in for and isn't supposed to ask either. He had one guy a few years ago who told him, due to how unfair he felt his sentence was. He was in tears the whole time about his miserable existence and about how he shouldn't be in prison at all.

His crime was having abused his two young daughters for years on end, from when they were as little as a year old. But he didn't think of it as abuse at all. In his head he loved his family more than anyone could ever love them. He considered it to be just a normal part of a loving relationship. Like what he did to them was a sign of how deeply he loved them and how committed he was to them - like there was no greater way to love and honour them than through physical abuse. He considered himself to be in a relationship with his two daughters, teaching them and showing them what true love really was. He genuinely thought that what he was doing was not only normal, but a thoroughly good thing. Something to be commended. That society was wrong for breaking up his family and ruining their beautiful love.

My friend stopped visiting, that was just slightly too deprived in the end.

He still visits murderers, burglars and violent offenders.

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Montymum@reddit

Jeez that is seriously fucked up 🤮

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Hazeygazey@reddit

He didn't genuinely believe anything of the sort. These men know what they do is disgusting. They don't care.

Wow that's made me feel so uncomfortable just reading that. No wonder your friend couldn't listen to it anymore. Ugh.

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HollyTheFarmer@reddit

I'm not saying that what you're saying isn't true, but I do this job as my full time role, and have done for almost 7 years, and neither myself or my colleagues have ever known this role be open to a Special Constable.

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Officer_Cat_Fancy_@reddit

Paedo Patrol! I'd watch that show.

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Decent-Chipmunk-5437@reddit

What are you thinking?

Like reality show following the police investigation, or completely fictional superhero group of pedophiles?

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BattleScarLion@reddit

So true. Here them talk, and they are the victim. I think one of the scary things is you'd think these guys would lose relationships - but its not uncommon for their wives (and even grown kids) to make excuses for and protect them.

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I mean I think that has been a thing forever, middle aged men have some sort of built-in impulse to get as many people pregnant as they can. Loads of historical figures married really young women or girls.

Is it gross? Yes. Is it "normal"? I'm not really qualified to say but I think it is common at least.

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172116@reddit

smashing one off in private is one way to get rid of the urge I suppose.

Is it? Or does it reinforce their attraction to very young women, and train them to seek sexual relief with images of girls instead of being intimate with their naturally aging wife, contributing to a dead bedroom, and driving them further towards this pornographic content, creating a vicious cycle where they see girls as sexual beings instead of children?

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GavinF83@reddit

I suspect a good portion of men who are attracted to teen girls are also attracted to adult women. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.

Basteir@reddit

It can be just a mirror of many/most women wanting taller/stronger/bigger men than they are. Men generally have to be sexually attracted to shorter/weaker/smaller and thinner women. I guess maybe that instinct or social dynamic gets overturned?

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Larry-Man@reddit

A lot of child molesters aren’t specifically paedophiles. They just pick the easiest targets and are just generally sexual predators. There’s a lot of conflation of the two and the end result is the same but a lot of these guys pick children because it’s about power rather than attraction.

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polkadotska@reddit

That's a really good point - I absolutely call men out on their bullshit now but as a teenager I was far less confident. You're right that I'm not even sure if it's a specific attraction to teenage bodies for some of these creeps - but (and?) that teenagers are easier to manipulate.

I wonder if there's something similarly hidden in e.g. care homes (sleazy dudes using their position of relative power as care workers, to abuse elderly or disable people)?

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littlbutterkitten@reddit

There's a reason funeral homes prefer to hire women 🤢

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Not sometimes, that’s always the motivator.

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Affectionate_Day7543@reddit

I always put the majority of street harassment I experienced down to this. The harassment i experienced was at its peak as I was going through puberty and clearly underage so 11-15 but on a low level it started as soon as I started getting boobs around the age of 9. Street harassment is more about intimidation than attraction, young girls are in theory the easier target. Not that this bodes any better for society.

Actual noncery is much more hidden but unfortunately due to that fact we only see the tip of the iceberg. The not so distant days of the media publishing countdowns to young female celebrities becoming legal just proves that the only thing that stops a lot of people is the law. It’s like hungry wolves watching and salivating while they wait for their prey to give in, so disturbing.

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madcow87_@reddit

I witnessed plenty of my female friends aggressively tell older men to fuck off and worse and honestly it made no difference. I'm 25 years older than OP so maybe times are different but at 12-16 some of the girls would absolutely NOT be shy telling men where to go.

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PatientArugula7504@reddit

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Different-Employ9651@reddit

Yes.

I used to think that it was specific weirdos - people who were consistently interested in that shit. I'm kinda getting to the point of thinking that opportunity is actually the key to these offences, and that many more adults are willing to abuse kids when that opportunity arises than I ever previously expected. I also think that child victims of female abusers still get a raw deal. Certain people want to minimise any abuse by women, and I don't think that serves anyone well.

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diabiological@reddit

I remember sitting on the bus going home after school at the age of 14 and this big guy, long blonde hair in his 50s comes along and starts talking to me about how beautiful I am, that he wants to invite me to a party, and he's just stroking and touching me everywhere. At one point he gives me a slobby lick on his ear. I get off at the next stop and just trek it home, it's not too far only an hour.

Was it worth to report it? Well first as a boy who would take me seriously? Especially since I already come from a battered home and my school already sees me as a problem and says I'm making stuff up. Before our primary school headteacher was outed as a kiddyfiddler. They even did some documentary on it. I saw what other schoolkids did to (male) victims of abuse. Help them? Did they fuck! They were ruthless on the victims. So that's when I learned if you are male you need to shut the fuck up if you are groped. Goes for today - complain if you are in high esteem, if not move on.

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sherbetsweets@reddit

The only times I can remember being sexually harassed were when I was in secondary school between ages 11-14. I can remember specifically two occasions where a van tooted their horn at me and said something like sexy/gorgeous out of the window whilst I was at the bus stop waiting for school

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plertskirt@reddit

A complete stranger told me I was fuckable, I was a 14 year old at a bus stop. Dipped into the nearest shop and waited for that creep to leave.

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sunnysummer100@reddit

I remember walking home in the afternoon aged about 14 (looked much younger, very skinny no boobs) and a van rolled down their window and said "here's 10p call your mum and tell her you're not coming home"). I remember feeling so confused and I've never forgotten it. That would've been in the early 1990's.

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Far_Emphasis_546@reddit

At 15, a man four or five years older than me used to catcall me regularly as I walked to school.

Once, he followed me off a bus and wouldn't stop talking to me, getting progressively more sexually-orientated until he got me in an alleyway. It was my own fault for walking down somewhere unsafe, but I was in panic mode and had no idea how to manage in the situation.

I started trying to run away but he shoved me against a wall and groped me. I kneed him in the balls and legged it. I reported him to the police and heard nothing back - even after telling them where the scummy twat lived.

I saw him on a bus a few months later and he jumped up and ran off.

OldLondon@reddit

It’s not porn per se. And it’s not just the UK. Schoolgirl fetishisation has been a thing for years - since before Benny Hill put it on prime time. The Japanese have an entire industry around it. But people consuming it tell themselves it’s ok cos it’s just adults dressed up isn’t it?

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RaspberryTurtle987@reddit

I also don't think porn is the problem.

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changhyun@reddit

I remember a friend pointing out how a lot of "barely legal" porn isn't trying to depict 18 year olds either, but 11 year olds. I asked what he meant and he said, "They cast 18 year olds because they have to but actually look at how they style those girls. If I described a girl with braces and pigtails, with a pink bedroom full of stuffed toys, would you more typically think of an 18 year old or would you think I was describing an 11 year old? "

Sorry, quick Google while at work :)

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Heewna@reddit

That’s really interesting and very pronounced. I wonder if there is an inherent bias in dating sites, rather than being population wide. A 40 year old man that finds 20 year old women attractive is more likely to use a dating site because they have skewed perspectives and unrealistic expectations. Although it’s clearly not the same for women, then again I suspect there are more men than women on dating sites.

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FanParticular1096@reddit

There was a study done in Aus that found 1 in 6 men are attracted to children. It will be higher as not all of them will admit it, even anonymously. https://www.humanrights.unsw.edu.au/news/shocking-number-australian-men-sexually-attracted-children-and-teens

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People joke about parents being paranoid and seeing paedophiles around every corner, but as an ordinary kid living an ordinary life I had multiple run ins though luckily nothing terrible ever happened to me.

at 7 an old man grabbed me on the bus, put me on his lip and tried to kiss me, as my mom desperately tried to wrestle me away
at 9 many of the kids on my estate joined a ‘club’ started by a cool older boy. You had to do something bad like say a string of swear words to get in, and if you joined you got to go in the boy’s house. Where you’d be molested by his dad.
at 15 my friend’s dad started using her AIM account to message me and invite me round for sex when the family was out for the day
also at 15 my friend’s 20-something brother trapped me in his bedroom and wouldn’t let me out, as he hit on me, but luckily my friends came looking for me
the usual cat calling that starts from age 11

awaken_pal@reddit

Many years ago I was part of a walking club going for treks around the country etc, well turns out the organiser was a massive peado, got found out after he accidentally linked some images to a image sharing website (can’t remember the name) where he uploaded indecent images of young girls he took and later found out he had been grooming young girls + SA’d another.

You would never have guessed he was this sort of guy and come across as a typical family man who would help anyone. Made me very weary of people after this.

I think there's more of than we realise, but I also think attitudes to it are changing. Hopefully it's not being swept under the rug as it may have been historically.

I remember when I was in my early 20s and perpetually single, some coworkers a little older than me suggested I try it on with some of the 16/17 year old girls we worked with. When I reacted with disgust they started telling me I was being picky and making remarks like 'grass on the field, play ball'. The part that surprised me most was that it wasn't just lads, but a couple of women I worked with joined in.

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FIREBJJ@reddit

As a man this is horrifying to hear, I am sorry.

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StrongEggplant8120@reddit

in my experience it is not unusual for men to find teenagers attractive at all. seems more or less normal, what isnt normal is to act on it. what is super abnormal and downright sick is to find proper kids attractive at all. like under thirteen. seems more or less mutual as well with the amount of young teens coming onto me as well. like lots and lots like lots and lots. kinda funny really and super sweet.

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LegionnaireFreakius@reddit

Newspapers had countdowns to models reaching 16 so you could see their tits. Lindsey Dawn McKenzie no less.

Yes humanity is just entering an age when we realise the terrible sexual abuse men, and some women too, have committed through the centuries and still do.

We are just starting out.

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SuperExstatic@reddit

Yes it definitely is !

I had a much older colleague who definitely had Saville vibes about him he ended up getting put with our team for the day within 15 minutes of leaving the yard he said “ Corr shes alright lads “ everyone’s looking “ where Steve ?” He then points to a 12-14 year old girl in school uniform and says “ her !” I checked to confirm I weren’t hearing things and said “the girl in school uniform ?” And his response was “Yh if it bleeds it breeds “ I had to explain to him in no uncertain terms if he says anything like that again in my presence or I see him looking at kids I’d put him in the ground ! One colleague said to me “ don’t you think that was excessive ?” Then I had a go at him and asked if he thought it was ok ? Our other two colleagues backed me up but it goes to show there’s people who will turn a blind eye because it didn’t affect them directly

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We get daily reports of incidents that happen on our network, and we see ~2 instances of sexual harassment toward young women per day, on average. Around a quarter of these reports are concerning harassment toward highschool girls by adult men, but I suspect the actual number is much higher. I can't imagine that this kind of behaviour is less rampant behind closed doors when so many offenders are comfortable doing it out in the open.

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Bennjoon@reddit

Fully believe local guys are in on it with these gangs and that’s how they are getting away with it for so long.

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My girlfriend told me she was once waiting for a but, she was 14 and in school uniform and this older man wouldn't leave her alone.

She said the obvious "I'm 14", and he said "Not with those tit's you ain't".

Apparently - in his eyes - if you have big tit's you have to be older than 14.

None of it is right. None of it is acceptable - and never has been really on an individual brain level - but the difference is that these days more people talk about it. Will it change anything? If I am totally honest, I don't think so.

I don't think humans can change. On a numbers level we kill, rape, destroy, fight, war against, victimise, bully and subdue anything and anyone we can and feel the need to. We are not a nice peaceful species but we are at the mental developement age where we "think" we "should be".

But, my depressing soapbox aside, to answer your question, no I do not think it is more rampant than, well, any aother decade really.

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Vivienne-afrenchbird@reddit

I believe it's also more common than people think that father's are attracted to their daughters. Kind of makes sense seeing as how it's likely their daughter closely resembles their wife 🤢

i literally had a boss who's children i had known since they were tiny. As soon as his daughter hit around 12-13 he made a comment to me and another of my coworkers about how she's starting to grow up and get a butt and he admitted he often can't stop staring at it/her. What the helly

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purpleplums901@reddit

It’s rare but like, 1 or 2% rare which unfortunately probably means if you’ve ever had a job or been to school, or walked through the street, you’ll have come into contact with them. Just off the top of my head, I know by name 6 people who’ve been convicted, 5 men 1 woman. Plus there’s all the ones where it’s not illegal but you think what are you doing. Like a girl in school who in year 11 had a boyfriend in his 30s. If he was 21 or 22 we’d have all thought it was weird. So yeah I think you’re right, I think people think it’s a zero point something percent rarity and it’s actually a single digits percent rarity

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Shubbusdubbus@reddit

I might get some shit for even bringing this up, but is this really surprising? If we strip away morals and societal norms, from both a biological and historical standpoint its basically the norm.

If we view humans simply as animals then it unfortunately makes sense that males are going to be attracted to females as soon as they go through puberty. And historically, before we had the modern idea of children and especially teenagers being separate from adults it was considered pretty normal for adults to marry teenagers or even children and puberty has been the marker for becoming an adult in many cultures over the years.

Just because we now have the sense to see that a 40 year old dating a 16 year is gross, doesnt change their underlying biology and the things that biology makes them want to do.

Personally I think if our end goal is actually protecting kids, rather than virtue signaling how much we hate pedos and how badly we want vengeance against and competing who can hate them the most, we need to accept this reality and put things in place where people can come forward about it and seek help without prejudice rather than cope with it alone until they end up hurting a kid.

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Priscaney@reddit

Personally I think if our end goal is actually protecting kids, rather than virtue signaling how much we hate pedos and how badly we want vengeance against and competing who can hate them the most, we need to accept this reality

Yeah that'll never happen. Too many of us were sexually harassed or sexually abused as children for us to start being accepting and compassionate towards paedophiles. It's actually mad how you're reducing it to "virtue signalling" though..

Do you think people don't actually hate people who abuse and harrass children, it's all just a big performative gesture?

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Shubbusdubbus@reddit

I expected to get a reaction like this. Does it help to know I was also sexually abused as a child, so I understand the hate, but people hating pedophiles doesnt make me feel any better, doesnt undo anything that happened to me.

A lot of the discourse around child abusers is just people competing with each other on how much they hate pedophiles, people describing how violent they would be to them if they got the chance. Its not productive, it doesnt help anyone and is just about people advertising how much they hate pedos. That is virtue signaling.

No, I believe people do hate pedos, I also beleive its common for pedos to shout the loudest about how they hate pedos to cover for themselves and people never ending competition to see who hates pedos the most gets in the way of actually stopping children from getting abused.

Yes, I do. Far more than anyone would find acceptable.

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Previous_Vilain@reddit

The UK police have said that if they went on every lead given to them, they would have zero time to investigate any other crimes. The level of noncery in the world is absolutely staggering.

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Critchley94@reddit

Definitely. I don’t think it’s a conspiracy though, so much as the sort of blokes to engage in such behaviour do it in specific circles away from the sort of blokes that would call them out, because they bloody know it’s disgusting behaviour, and this has made it a sort of ‘open secret’ of society. Because of the latter, it’s difficult to tackle beyond what more progressive parts of society are already doing.

Our ruling organisations are also still predominantly male-led, so it wouldn’t shock me if there is genuine ignorance at play, or complicity in places. I’ll say for my part as a 31 year old bloke, I had no idea it was still so prevalent until I started work in education, was escorting a female class of students back from a public gym in their damn PE uniforms, and they got beeped and wolf-whistled at by passing van drivers. None of them were shocked or surprised. It near broke my heart. For all my faults in gender relations (I grew up with Nuts magazine available in shops, so I won’t pretend I’ve been or am perfect), I’d never contemplate harassing schoolgirls, and until then I thought my attitude was shared by most men.

I think progressive parts of society are doing a good job of promoting better behaviour from men. Certainly, the young men I’ve taught have, for the most part, been better than my generation was at their age. We do however have the increasing threat of incel culture that needs to be addressed. If the latter is handled, I do think (and hope) we’ll trend in the right direction.

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crucible@reddit

I was in school in the early 90s. Schools didn’t help matters back then by making the girls’ sports kit include a skirt that would have been short enough to break the regular uniform policy…

OK for PE, though(!)

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CandyPink69@reddit

I was born 93 and between the ages of 14-18 was when older men hit on me the most. I’d even get funny vibes of friends dads as well so I do think it’s common but then I think of the men I’m friends with now and we’re all in our 30’s and I couldn’t imagine any of them being like that.

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Niitroglycerine@reddit

Without a shadow of a doubt

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Icy-Initial2107@reddit

Sadly, yes. About two decades ago I did pedophile discovery (online) and even then. I don't want to think about it, but the amount of folks (both men and women, but mostly men) who seek out 6-12 year olds and the wounds they create. But also women who leave boys confused, with no idea how a relationship is meant to work.

They are children learning. Leave them the fuck alone.

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SusieC0161@reddit

I used to work for a police force as police staff. I had numerous officers telling me how common pedophillia is. My step daughter is a detective in the CSAE section of CID, she says the same, and has told me some horrendous tales.

I was a teenager in the early 80s. I was well endowed for my age but otherwise didn’t look old for my age. I don’t know how many times I was groped in public, including walking to and from school in uniform. Workmen routinely cat called. A favourite seemed to be asking me to get something out of their front pocket for them.

We were having new windows put in at home when I was about 13. I was in the shower and my dad shouted for me to get out so the guy could measure the window. I opened the door wrapped in a towel. The windows guy immediately launched into sexist comments, in front of my dad! I remember him asking me to hold the tape measure (so I’d drop the towel), and said “you don’t get many of them to the pound”, while nodding towards my chest.

It’s just gross.

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ConduciveMammal@reddit

As a man, I’m both horrified and yet unsurprised by the uniformity of these responses.

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Everyone that was a child who grew up in the 60s/70s were bombarded with popular music about 15-17 year old girls. My sister threw away a Donovan vinyl because there was a song about a teenage girl on it. It’s very culturally ingrained unfortunately.

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Interesting-Pen-2606@reddit

Yup - me and all my friends from about aged 12 onwards. Cat calls, beeps, outright sexual comments. Some random gross old man felt up my arse when I was probably around 13. It was absolutely disgusting. Some creep who was in his thirties and married basically tried to rape me, I was 14. Another guy tried it when I was 15. Then I started dating a 20 something year old to try and protect myself. I told a teacher about the married man, she did nothing.

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Decent-Way-8593@reddit

100%. My opinion may be biased because of places i have worked but heres my two cents. I worked in mental health for years as a nurse. I worked with way too many paedophiles for my liking. What I came to understand was that a lot of times it was generational. I had three ex priests, all of them abused by priests when they were young. I worked with quite a few individuals that had some degree of learning disability, they didn't understand that what happened to them as children was wrong, so they also went on to attempt/successfully abuse children. I worked with some abhorrent people, people that are sick in the head. Opportunists, basically. They didn't care that they were harming children, all they cared about were themselves and fulfillig their own disgusting desires. But I also worked with four people who were attracted to children and hated themselves for it. All 4 of them attempted suicide multiple times because they knew their attraction was wrong but literally couldn't help it. They had never acted on their attraction. Because they knew it was wrong. As far as I know, two of them have been successful in their suicide now. We demonise paedophiles because well, why wouldn't we? But these four individuals I worked with waited for years to tell anyone and instead lived in constant torture for an attraction they couldn't help because they feared being judged and were ashamed. Three of those four were also abused as children. Being a nurse and working the places I have has made me a paranoid mum. My child doesn't even go to nursery because you never know who is actually working there.

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robz1009@reddit

its terrible what happened to you, you deserve a lot better than that nonces make me physically sick, I wish they would all drop dead. I think there are a lot more nonces than most people realise

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SingerFirm1090@reddit

I have worked with many women over my career, back to the 70s.

None would ever use the Circle Line in rush hours as the overcrowding guaranteed a hand would emerge from the crowd and touch inappropriately.

I think people don't realise just how many adult men may have thoughts of children.

But most offenders don't forget, in child sexual abuse, tend to be opportunistic offenders and not neccessarily paedophiles.

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Ok-Advantage3180@reddit

I’m a couple of years older but experienced all the same things. Let’s put it this way, at one of the businesses in the town I live in, at least three of the men working there have been arrested for noncery of some sort

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marsarefromspiders@reddit

There was a literal count down for Charlotte Church to turn 16 if I remember correctly. It's not more rampant. it's always been rampant.

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daisymayfryup@reddit

This happened to two nieces we have.

Both were big into their competitive dancing..... they attended festivals all over the British Isles.

One year, they were dancing at the local festival and, during a break, they went for something to eat at McDonalds. On the way there, they passed bar connected to local paramilitaries. There was a gang of men outside the bar, smoking and drinking. Both girls were fully made up for the Festival. As they passed the bar, they started getting catcalled by this group of men, who weren't shy about what they said they'd like to do with them. They tucked their heads down and walked on.

On the way, back they got more of the same. The youngest one shouted at them "She's only 13 and I'm 11.... have some decency. Some of you have kidsm I'm sure". Do you know what they shouted back? "Even better" followed by much laughter.

glaekitgirl@reddit

Yep.

Being deliberately vague here but reliable second hand information from someone I know and trust - the husband of said person's friend was caught in a police sting operation trying to knowingly chat up a 14 year old girl (who was in fact a police officer with a fake account).

And an ex of mine is in prison for abuse of position and multiple s3xual assaults of younger women (all over 18... but only just). I had no inkling whatsoever of his "inclinations" when I was dating him.

winobeaver@reddit

when I hear my fellow men express incredulity at statistics like one-in-four, it just goes to show me that women do not get close enough to these men to talk about these things.

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Sloblock777@reddit

Hard to say for sure but we're more vigilant about it now, sometimes to the point of paranoia due to social media. When I was a kid in the 70s-90s noncery didn't seem to be taken seriously at all and was basically given a cursory "what a dirty bastard" reaction. I never heard victims being mocked but the perverts themselves seemed to be the butt of a lot of jokes. In retrospect a lot of things were weirdly accepted in those days.

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Dunkmaxxing@reddit

Lots of people are just shitbags who have no empathy, some of them are also pedos. People can blame anything else, but that is the core of the issue.

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ukpunjabivixen@reddit

I’m 46 now and went to a mixed school.

I’m still quite shocked at the number of girls in my year when I was in year 9) dating guys who were in sixth form and/or old enough to drive a car or have a job

I think there is an odd blurring of concepts like being attractive/being attracted to someone*—-16 being age of consent whilst still being a child until 18 etc

You have fully grown adults in their late 20s and 30s playing school children on TV shows

St Trinians was a thing for decades— Barbara Windsor playing teenagers in her 30s

*I have definitely heard women talking about how attractive/gorgeous/will have all the boys after her teenage girls are (or younger…men tend to keep their mouthes shut— I think some men have difficulties parsing the ‘are attractive’ vs ‘are attracted to’

All that said the people who seem to be mentioned in many comments cat calling teenagers are a whole other level of something (arseholes evidently)

Another time, I had a look at a menu outside a restaurant, and a random man offered to buy me dinner, I had to refuse multiple times and then basically run across the road.

I didn't get any attention from the boys at school, only grown men.

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seal_clubb@reddit

Pedophilia is attraction to children, pre-pubescent children. Lately, many people take it to mean anyone under 18. People develop at different speeds, attraction to those sexually developed is only natural. That is not to say that we should expect good standards of behaviour in civilised society. We must remember that in ancient times people would marry much much younger, biologically speaking we are wired in such a way that our body expects us to be doing it like rabbits from at least our mid teens.

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Familiar-Estate-4895@reddit

what an ignorant post.

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AndWhatBeard@reddit

Yes, it is much more rampant than we realise. I don't know if it was the demographic that I mixed with as I was in care so a lot of the girls was very vulnerable and the majority of us had experienced some sort of sexual abuse. It's not really something that comes up when talking to my current friendship group, not really the serious stuff like very young children experiencing like happened to me but it's very common for us to talk about how we were pursued or even dated men in their mid to late 20s when we were like 15 or 16.

I do think the numbers are covered up, or at least were. It happened to me when I was 4 or 5 and my Mum never reported it because "what would the neighbours think."

Also when we were like 15 we just didn't really see adult men being into us as noncing, we just kind of thought we were grown up and mature. I was born in the 80s so a different era and that sort of thig seems much more looked down on now but seemed to give a shit that adult men were picking up their school aged girlfriends in school uniforms from the school gates.

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Party-Werewolf-4888@reddit

Absolutely. You only had to see how many male football fans defended Adam Johnson (the footballer convicted of child grooming and sexual activity with a child) during his trial and after his conviction.

I work with kids who have experienced this sort of stuff and pretty much all of them are subject to being told it's "their fault" this happened to them at some point in the criminal process. I know a 13 year old girl who was asked in court why she "allowed herself to be raped more than once" by a 47 year old man.

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CongealedBeanKingdom@reddit

If they could go lower than 16 they would. Have many tales to tell about being nonced as a young teenage girl, but I don't want to trauma dump so there yis go.

There are more than we could ever imagine, and a lot of 'just regular blokes' know about their pervy mates and never ever say or do anything about it. I fell out with an entire friend group because they had no issue with one of the lads (20) going with a 15 year old and as the formerly abused child i was the only one who called them out, including amongst the women.

Disgusting.

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jim_cap@reddit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPMsQzB3xB4

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reggieko13@reddit

So wonder if these thoughts often existed in more men then acted upon them and that then with a change in society that made them more willing/less ashamed to act on it couple with the access that porn gave as like a gateway drug was made it more prevalent

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PorkVale@reddit

I know someone who groped an underage relative (via his girlfriend) while high. The girlfriend found out and instead of going to the police got him to sign over the house to her name instead.

He now wants to be a politician for a certain political party, pretty easy to guess which one.

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Tacklestiffener@reddit

I think it's always been around.

When I left school in the early 70's I went to work for a London council (terrible mistake, just not for me at all)

Anyway, a bloke in my office, who I thought was ancient - early 30's I think - used come in every morning talking about how he used to drive to work the long way round so he could drive past 3 girls schools and he'd talk quite openly about young girls in mini skirts. Eighteen year old me thought it was fucking odd but apparently everyone else just shrugged or laughed along.

It also struck 18 year old me that, if he'd been talking about 14-16 year old boys in tight school trousers, he'd get arrested pretty quickly.

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katherinemma987@reddit

Yeeeeeeeep. Born before you and it was the same. Don’t know if it’s the same now but it seemed like everyone just dealt with it and ignored it. I always wondered if it was because they were less likely to get push back or maybe it was just a power thing. They may not have wanted to do anything but enjoyed making young girls feel uncomfortable.

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AnonymousTimewaster@reddit

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n0p_sled@reddit

"I've heard it said that teenage boys age 14 or so understandably start lusting after girls the same age, who aren't interested because 14yo boys generally don't wash enough and have crap social skills and no maturity. So a 14yo girl is the ultimate fantasy object, and it's not until years later that it suddenly dawns on most men that actually, 14 is way too young to drool over"

I don't think this is true at all

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I’m being contrarian? You are implying something ? Are you projecting something on to me?

I find it hard to believe that roughly 2.6 million Australian men have sexual thoughts about a child. That’s just fucking nuts and if this is true and the data valid, I’m just asking why.

Don’t go replying to me with nonsense statements like that. Ridiculous. Even op said ‘ I’m guessing younnnggg’. Guessing is not the same as being outright told- children. His coworker could have been fucking 20 year old hookers and that still counts as ‘young girls’ in my books.

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Hesher22@reddit

I work with a man who still does this. Openly tries to encourage some of the younger/more impressionable lads to go with him.

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Scottish_squirrel@reddit

If he has horrific BO it'll be the same guy

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SnooBooks1701@reddit

That doesn't narrow it down unless you know eachother IRL

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d3gu@reddit

For sure. I'm 37 now, and I still get ID'd, or at least thought of as 27-30. I'm not bragging, just letting you know how young I would have looked when I was ACTUALLY a teenager.

Started getting cat-called when I was 12-13. I had this one specific coat that always got me honked at by cars. It was a knee-length, kinda eskimo-style fluffy thing. When I was 15, I was followed around by a guy in Leeds who was masturbating. He followed me into the Corn Exchange, went into the changing rooms and continued to mastubate as I looked around a shop. I'd never even seen a penis IRL before. The sexual harassment kind of ramped up in my later teens when I was groped/assaulted by a stranger in a portaloo at Latitude Festival. Again, looking at photos I look MUCH younger. The last time I was followed/harassed was a few years ago, when I was wearing big baggy dungarees and a big coat.

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Deep_Banana_6521@reddit

No. I was born in 1989 and when I was a kid there was always the older people who were very touchy feely who you were told to avoid who'd sometimes grab or kiss or touch you, boys and girls. Or the 14 year old girl at school who had the "cool" 26 year old boyfriend. When I was 18 with some friends and a younger sister who was about 13, a van full of labourers pulled up, rolled down the window and kept saying how much they wanted to fuck the little sister and drove off laughing when my friend got angry and I had a teacher at school who was sacked for looking up girls skirts. So it's certainly not changed, maybe the internet has just made it more obvious.

Women are just as bad too, I'm male and remember old/older women grabbing at me, or touching me very inappropriately and even some younger women in their 20s making very forward sexual advances on boys when we were only 12-13.

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I think it is, but, and these are a hot takes.

1) Plenty of women know about this / have suspicions about their partner / friends / acquaintances and do nothing about it. You just have to look at everything that went on with dodgy priests, plenty of women were involved in that and it took years for those issues to come to light.

2) It's part of British culture. Well, not totally, but most of the stories you hear when it's white people tend to be a bit "lone wolf" or "who would have guessed" etc. But when the Northern grooming scandal kicked off a lot of the focus was on the "communities" and "cultures". No one seems to have the same worries about Brits/Irish when for, what 50+ years priests were shagging whoever they wanted. And the answer was "oh, the church covered it up.", which is true but, like, so did Mrs Jones from number 33 who can trace her ancestry to the 1066. Not a brown face amongst them. The Sun was a massively popular paper and they were doing countdowns to when kids were going to become "legal". Yeah, maybe the journalists are pervs, or maybe they know their readership.

3) I also suspect the amount of female pedos is under reported, because even today there's a bit of a weirdly positive connotation on it. Granted, this is getting better.

4) The trend for women calling partners "daddy" is so, so, soooo fucking weird. And I am a stone cold perv. Schoolgirl uniforms in the bedroom is also odd, but pretty damn normalised. People are doing this shit every day!

Ultimately I think it's covered up because it's easier for people to assume it's rogue men rather than point fingers at parents, partners and wider communities being complicit in letting "things slide".

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Some were even early 20s,.and had a 15yr old gf.

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Shantay-i-sway@reddit

It’s always been like this, I’m in my 40s now but for me it started around 10.

A man followed me around town talking about my ‘sexy legs’

From 11 and throughout my teens would regularly have random men say comments ranging from ‘cheeky’ to ‘repulsive’, almost always whilst in school uniform, both middle school uniform and secondary.

There were a couple of men who were family/friends of family that would try and get me alone at parties and touch me or say inappropriate things.

There were loads of instances and all the women i know have lots of stories of their own, it really is rampant.

I don’t ’hate all men’ to be clear, i have a great partner, quite a few male friends and family that i trust 100%. But there are also so many I’ve seen stand uncomfortably while their friend is being a creep and not say anything or call it out, and that is where it should be addressed.

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Class278@reddit

I used to get cat-called all the time when I was in school uniform. You're talking verbal harassment from grown men, including big groups of them shouting and jeering out of work vans while I was walking to/from school. I endured lots of wolf-whistling, and once had a random man follow me to school, and he admitted he'd been watching me for weeks and wanted my number. Another time a man wearing a balaclava randomly exposed himself to me down an alleyway after asking for a lighter, and I ran away, too scared to report it. I assumed my entire life would be like this, but all of this dead-stopped when I reached about 18.

I've NEVER been catcalled as an adult. I've often wondered if this was a universal experience.

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A lot of it is about power, how the adult has it and the child doesn't.

Its the same for secretaries, nannies, cleaners, teachers, and other roles where the woman does a job that's considered to be less important than a man, who is able to use his position to abuse the situation.

Its also taboo which many people find appealing and a really old and ever lasting fantasy that has never really evolved, even as society has identified certain behaviours as less acceptable now than in the past.

There's also this idea that the age of consent being 16 means that it's legal for an adult to have sex with a child because they can consent. Because these people still don't understand that they are children and its illegal even if they are 16 or 17. And its also illegal when theu are under 16.

And then there's just the basic idea that men can get away (in their minds) with whatever they want to do. Though there also appears to be more and more adult women having sex with teenage children now too but I wonder if this comes down to the idea that if men can do it women can too, like a twisted take on equality. As if men set the bar for acceptable behaviour and now women can do the same.

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mdzmdz@reddit

"Because these people still don't understand that they are children and its illegal even if they are 16 or 17"

It's not though? Unless the older person is in a position of trust such as a teacher.

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AnselaJonla@reddit

There's also this idea that the age of consent being 16 means that it's legal for an adult to have sex with a child because they can consent. Because these people still don't understand that they are children and its illegal even if they are 16 or 17. And its also illegal when theu are under 16.

Thankfully I saw less and less of this behaviour as the years go on, 25 years ago it was almost accepted as normal, now I'd sack them without even a thought if that was going on.

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Significant-Gene9639@reddit

Studies show it’s high.

E.g. almost 1 in 6 men in Australia said they had a sexual interest in a person under 18 (15%).

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spamvicious@reddit

I think there’s a HUGE issue right now with literal children being able to access hardcore pornography on the internet easily. This means that by the time they teach their late teens early 20s they are desensitised to almost all “normal” porn and seek out more and more disturbing stuff.

So now we’re having a huge surge of predominantly men watching CSA material to get off. The same men who aren’t necessarily wired the same way as pedophiles have been since birth (arguably).

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Sergeant_Fred_Colon@reddit

because otherwise parents would never want their children to be out in public.

The most likely person to abuse a child is a parent or close relative.

It's a greater percentage of adult men and women then you'd think, but because most of it happens in families it doesn't get talked about, abused children think the abuse is normal and it's only in later years something clicks that it isn't.

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I did jury duty back in the 90’s. 6 cases. All of the noncery. It was at that moment I realised how bad it was.

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continentaldreams@reddit

I remarked the same thing to my partner at the weekend. I realised that cat-calling stopped when I turned 18.

I used to have guys following me, calling me a whore, holding a sign out of their van saying "blowjobs?" - this all happened between the ages of 13-18. It's fucking gross.

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I_ALWAYS_UPVOTE_CATS@reddit

It stands to reason that not all nonces get caught, in which case it must be more widespread than we realise. Add to that the fact that most cases don't make the news anyway. A guy who worked at my gf's school got arrested a few years ago, as did one of her colleagues when she became a teacher herself.

I remember my female friends getting looked up and down by grown men when we were 14-15. I'd imagine an alarming number of men probably don't think it counts if they're 'only looking'.

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FluffyBunnyFlipFlops@reddit

My ex-wife left me for a convicted paedophile who had many victims. Then, the husband of my friend went to prison because he'd been setting up his phone to file their kids. A year ago, it came to light that the partner of my step-daughter had been molesting my granddaughter. He goes to trial in March.

What is going on? Is the definition of being a good man these days as simple as not molesting kids?!

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legendarymel@reddit

I remember we’d try to get dressed as quickly as possibly around that age because one of the PE teachers would always walk through one of the girls changing rooms to leave the gym (gym was/is designed poorly and you have to go through a changing room to get from the gym to the exit) I know we complained to the school many times that we didn’t want a middle aged man walking through as we’re half naked but they always brushed it off saying he has to walk through one of the changing rooms.

I think 11-14 is also around the time most girls start developing and because of how girls and women have been portrayed in the media for decades, a lot of men seem to think you’re grown once you have breasts.

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fearlessfannyflutter@reddit

Yeah it happened to my friend when she was 15 ,got groomed by 35 year old council worker who had a baby on the way with someone. Also it's a billion dollar industrie for elite rich folks. The world is fucked . Look into hackers tracking creeps on the dark Web, or don't it's quite disturbing .

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Flat_Development6659@reddit

Obviously any amount of that kind of behaviour is unacceptable but I think some of what shapes attraction is cultural and culturally it's become much less acceptable. My mum mentioned when she was young (she's 50's now) it was common to see a lot of the famous bands and singers dating very young lasses and obviously they'd be crucified today.

I'd imagine that there will still be some weirdos out there doing what you describe today but it's probably less frequent than a decade or more ago.

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Jeffuk88@reddit

The old school cool sub keeps posting pics of celebrities with their 'teenage' girlfriends and it's always a guy in his 20s or 30s dating a 14 year old... Every time I saw one Id google it thinking surely not but I've learned that it was pretty common for famous guys to date 13/14 year old girls publicly in the 80s

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Flat_Development6659@reddit

Iirc in more recent years that dude from fast and furious who died a few years back dated a 16 year old when he was 30.

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Zoe-Schmoey@reddit

I’ve never had any of this happen to me. Lived in Michigan, London and Nottingham.

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Winter_Parsley8706@reddit

It was so 'normal' back in the 80s and 90s when I was a kid. I knew it was happening to me and other ppl but didn't really understand it at the time. Cub scouts was horrendous for getting touched up and stuff. I think now though, there is far more awareness and it's coming from the kids themselves which I think is a step in the right direction.

horrible_goose_@reddit

I'm a good 20 years older than OP, and I've got to say I experienced the same at that age

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Mjukplister@reddit

Same . I look back now with horror

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WelshBen@reddit

It seems like there are a vast throng of nonces worldwide and just by law of averages some of the people i know must be members of said throng. This is fundamentally so wild considering how utterly reprehensible noncery yet is seemingly all around us.

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