What do you have on crumpets?
Posted by engineerogthings@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 677 comments
There is currently a discussion onboard my vessel after I put butter and jam on my crumpets, (warburtons obviously). It was met with ‘urgh’ by another as to why I’m not putting cheese on them. So what’s the condensed here? Jam or cheese?
Background_King_3551@reddit
Just butter make sure he it all melts into the holes and comes out the bottom that's how you know there's enough on
West-Cabinet-2169@reddit
Honey
QuintusCicerorocked@reddit
Butter, jam or honey, but never cheese.
oreosamwich@reddit
Biscoff!
CactuarLOL@reddit
Butter, marmite.
If I'm feeling fancy I'll grill some cheese on them.
JoeDaStudd@reddit
An abusive amount of good butter.
Think-Committee-4394@reddit
I maintain if you have not used sufficient butter on a crumpet
That the butter pool under the crumpet
Can be used to butter a second crumpet
You skimped on the butter 🤣
williamshatnersbeast@reddit
What a lovely poem. Quite right too.
CMDoet@reddit
...Norman, who had red hair and a poetry book stained with the butter drips from crumpets...
Ianhw77k@reddit
Excellent comment. Do you grow?
CMDoet@reddit
There is, you'll agree, a certain je ne sais quoi oh so very special about a firm young carrot 🥕
Cerridwen1981@reddit
Monty you terrible c….!
I_heart_snake_case@reddit
And if after the first bite a droplet of melted butter isn't travelling down your hand, you skimped on the butter.
miscfiles@reddit
Chin, also...
AnnaN666@reddit
And if the crispy bottom doesn't go soggy from the amount of butter, then you've skimped.
johnbarnes351@reddit
THATS AMORE X
OperationAnnual7166@reddit
Where's the haiku account when you need it 😂
AlGunner@reddit
Youre doing it wrong. You hold the plate right up to your chin, then dab the crumpet into the butter pool and put it in your mouth quickly before it all drips off. People have thanked me for telling them this.
OpinionUnhappy3180@reddit
The crumpet is just a butter transportation device for getting hot melty butter into your face hole
sharps2020@reddit
You have to fill all the holes with butter, and that's the bear minimum.
bornfromanegg@reddit
The bear minimum is one bear. Nothing to do with crumpets.
crucible@reddit
how about zero bears?
Safe_Commercial_2633@reddit
it's the bare necessity
dwhite21787@reddit
Does the next bear level include honey?
sharps2020@reddit
Is the the wrong bear? I always confuse the fuckers! Bare naked bears or something like that.
Willsagain2@reddit
It's OK, we'll grin and bear it.
sharps2020@reddit
Glad we're on the same page, just need to find some woods to shit in now. 😂
Willsagain2@reddit
Bear with me, I'll fetch the OS map.
Willsagain2@reddit
My bear likes butter, too, with honey, usually.
adymann@reddit
This is the way
SuperCerealShoggoth@reddit
More like I put crumpets on my butter.
PowerApp101@reddit
Hang on, is there such a thing as bad butter? Apart from unsalted obvs.
JoeDaStudd@reddit
Some of the spreadable butter is pretty meh and the butter flavoured spreads are just bad.
PowerApp101@reddit
Oh yeah for sure, I agree. But yeah it's so satisfying putting a great lump of solid butter on a hot crumpet and eating it before it's quite melted.
auntie_eggma@reddit
This is it. It's perfect and needs nothing else.
edyth_@reddit
The crumpet is just a vehicle for the butter
GrandDukeOfNowhere@reddit
Crumpets exist because it's not socially acceptable to drink a cup of melted butter
JustAnotherFEDev@reddit
Standard. I've scrolled forever and this is definitely the consensus, however, I'm yet to see anybody mention lashings of butter and Philadelphia/cream cheese. I've gone through adulthood thinking this was just "the way" but it doesn't get a mention
zebra1923@reddit
There is no other way
newtoid18@reddit
This is the only right answer.
pixxie84@reddit
This. With an optional sprinkle of salt on top.
And then my cat gets the plate to do a prewash on any butter pools left behind. Its a non negotiable because he will fight you for butter.
Acceptable_Silver_53@reddit
The saltier the better!
IguanaDog@reddit
This. Nothing else is needed.
nikkirun7@reddit
Same
sunbakedbear@reddit
Cheese?? Ew. Jam all the way.
SoggyMiddle@reddit
Butter and Marmite, nothing better.
TyphoidMurphy@reddit
Butter, marmite, and then melt cheese over the top of that under the grill.
It will drip and sizzle and sound very angry at you but that is only because it knows its fate and is raging against the dying of the light.
Neither-Mongoose6014@reddit
Have you tried marmite on toast with scrambled egg on top? 🫢
Cerridwen1981@reddit
I use poached egg, not tried scrambled yet…
TyphoidMurphy@reddit
Oh yeah, I'm a Marmite fiend. If I can add that magic brown ooze to anything, I will at least try it.
I like to add it to big stuffed mushrooms and stews, roast potatoes, cheesy chips, anything that could benefit from a bit (A LOT) of umami.
tuftofcare@reddit
Marmite and peanut butter is surprisingly good.
TyphoidMurphy@reddit
I don't get on with the premade one. The truffle one was interesting but only really as an ingredient mixed down with butter, otherwise it's like marmite and petrol.
Melting butter and marmite together and uh, tossing some nuts in it, then toasting in the oven until it's sticky is the way for me.
tuftofcare@reddit
I think it's best made by hand, rather than premixed. I tried it with shitto (West African very hot sauce) and that didn't quite work in a sort of clashing unami flavours way
JasperCarrots@reddit
I highly recommend you look up Nigella's marmite spaghetti. It's a thing of beauty
tuftofcare@reddit
thanks. This is now on my 'must cook this' list.
adymann@reddit
Its not hers. it was on an old late night telly program from the early 90s called "get stuffed." it was for students and showed them how to make cheap meals. I've been making and eating it since then.
JasperCarrots@reddit
I remember get stuffed!! Nigella attributes it to Italian pasta made with stock 😂
adymann@reddit
So its more like Bovril pasta?
AndyJBailey@reddit
I want you to try an egg mayo, onion and Marmite sandwich. It's a game changer 😃
Marmite_L0ver@reddit
The only way to get me to eat egg sandwiches was if my Mum put Marmite on the other slice of bread. For years I thought I was the only one who mixed the two, but my daughter liked it that way too. I'm waiting to see if the third generation shares the Marmite love, but I don't think she's tried her with it yet. Marmite soldiers dipped in runny boiled egg, or poached/fried egg instead of scrambled. That's tomorrow's breakfast sorted!
thickwhiteduck@reddit
And this.
Goonia@reddit
Or swap the marmite for bovril paste. Heaven
Marmite_L0ver@reddit
Never! 😱
Willsagain2@reddit
At the risk of sparking another war, I have to ask.....is there a difference in the taste between Bovril and Marmite? They taste the same to me, but I only keep Marmite in, so have never done a taste test. Wodgerfink Redditors?
Ianhw77k@reddit
Bovril has beef in it (if you're buying the right one) so definitely tastes different.
SlinkyFox81@reddit
^^^this is the way!
thickwhiteduck@reddit
This
little_marmite@reddit
I wish I had some crumpets to do this to now 😭
Thestickleman@reddit
Yuck
Nolsoth@reddit
The gods must surely bless you this day!.
Professional_Touch69@reddit
Try drizzling marmite on top of the cheese part way through melting…..
Marmite_L0ver@reddit
Lose the butter (allergic) and you are correct! 🤭
SpecialistGeneral794@reddit
Add lemon curd with it trust me !
LankyYogurt7737@reddit
“Absolutely pissing with marmite” as Danny dyer would say
adreddit298@reddit
FTFY
Shonkylegs@reddit
Butter, Marmite, fried egg over easy
MisterIndecisive@reddit
Marmite?!?!
ChemicalLou@reddit
I’ll raise you; butter, Marmite, toasted sesame seeds.
ilikeanime1234567890@reddit
Heathen!
Inkyyy98@reddit
This is what my two year old has for breakfast some days.
emmjaybeeyoukay@reddit
Heresy
Shitelark@reddit
One butter, one jam. Never both.
Previous_Kale_4508@reddit
Butter, Strawberry jam, and Lancashire cheese. It's the perfect combination for a crumpet topping.
Or for a sandwich filling for that matter.
SeaworthinessCool924@reddit
The best topping I've found is cheesy beans ❤️ its like God tier beans on toast!
Live_Bag_7596@reddit
I sometimes have peanut butter
raccoonsaff@reddit
I either have jam or marmite. I don't like cheese melting, so I like cheese on cold toast, in sandwiches, on crackers, or on its own!
gothfather3@reddit
Butter and sliced cheese on one (the main), jam on the other (pudding).
lumin298@reddit
Butter and maple syrup. Sometimes cinnamon as well
reducedtoashes@reddit
Butter 99% of the time.
Soft cheese or melted cheese the other 1% of the time.
There's this Tesco advert on TV at the minute advertising their own brand crumpets.... with jam, cream and strawberries on them. Fucking disgusting.
Sammiebear_143@reddit
Just a ton of butter on mine. Crispy top, soft melt in the mouth middle, with butter melting all the way through! I'm not adverse to having other toppings on other foods such as toasted muffins or toast, etc! But crumpets are just the best with simply butter!
CandyCorn7@reddit
I have them mostly plain with just a bit of butter
Good-Lingonberry-904@reddit
Butter and marmite. The best bit is when you finish and there's a pool of melted butter and marmite on your plate that's seeped through
Intrepid_Bearz@reddit
Loads of butter, black pepper and nothing else
Crivens999@reddit
Are you my wife?… Seriously since she was like an adult she’s carried a pepper pot in her bag. Mad love of pepper
Intrepid_Bearz@reddit
Haha! Great idea! I might have to start doing that!
I’m not too fussed about other spices but I need my black pepper on most things! …even tried it with vanilla ice cream once! Not recommended, but intense!
Crivens999@reddit
When she first made me beans on toast I was horrified. So much pepper. She’s eased it off these days for me, but still pretty intense. Out of interest can you eat English mustard straight out of the jar? That one gets me when she does it, and I like the mustard (small bits on other stuff). Plus garlic. Unreal. One time we went to a chilli festival where they had one stand that had various garlic examples in jars. My wife asked if she could try some of the pure garlic puree. He gave her a spoon, I assume expecting her to take a tiny bit. She took like a heaped spoon and knocked it back in one. Bloke looked panicked like he would be sued for half killing her or something. She said it was nice, but could be stronger. Garlic bread never comes close from pizza places
lolw1981@reddit
Never heard of anything but butter and jam, how does the cheese melt down the holes I don't understand lol
Electrical_Turn7@reddit
The answer is obviously butter and chorizo
kotare78@reddit
Beans and cheese
BlueCreek_@reddit
This option was way too far down in the comments!
LagerBoi@reddit
Butter and fried or poached eggs.
BirdieStitching@reddit
Butter, but when I fancy a treat, lemon curd. It fills up all the little holes perfectly, it's the best.
If you're feeling extra fancy, melt some white chocolate buttons on top
Ok_Possession_7462@reddit
Ohh, lemon curd and white chocolate 😋
Critical_Awareness95@reddit
A good, strong cheddar 😋
Indigo-Waterfall@reddit
Butter. Marmite. Cheese. Peanut butter.
paulydee76@reddit
Bovril
Last-Deal-4251@reddit
Lemon curd on home made crumpets is the best.
Calibigirl69@reddit
Butter, just butter. Occasionally cheese spread but not often
ReliefZealousideal84@reddit
Just butter is all you need. But you may also use peanut butter or cheese (with butter), or don’t bother making the crumpet at all lol.
Cheese_Dinosaur@reddit
Crumpets are a sweet food. I will die on this hill! 🤣
MDFHASDIED@reddit
Peanut butter! Sticks to your mouth like cement, but so worth it.
Working_Bench_6780@reddit
It's got to be the Chucky one , sometimes add some Nutella with the PB .
Sixforsilver7for@reddit
try mixing honey with the PB
Marmite_L0ver@reddit
Peanut butter, honey and sliced banana. 😁
Willsagain2@reddit
Down with that sort of thing
MDFHASDIED@reddit
I resent the insinuation that we've got bad cuisine when this is the kinda stuff we're enjoying on a regular basis.
Englishmuffin1@reddit
A decent knob of sea salt butter first and then a slather of peanut butter when it's still piping hot, so the peanutty goodness fills the holes and the butter starts weeping out the bottom.
0hbuggerit@reddit
If you want real filth, you want butter, marmite and peanut butter.
Salty heart attack in one breakfast
ayeayefitlike@reddit
This!! Peanut butter is the best - or if you want something easier to swallow, then Biscoff spread.
Huytonblue@reddit
Toasted twice so it’s crisp, then use butter, then tube cheese spread (primula cheese spread with ham).
tobotic@reddit
And thus allows you to retain the same crumpet on the roof of your mouth for up to a fortnight, saving money on crumpets.
InviteAromatic6124@reddit
This^. It's pretty much the only thing I have on them.
MDFHASDIED@reddit
Sometimes jam on top of the peanut butter when I'm feeling extra daring.
Elulah@reddit
Shit tons of butter or shit tons of butter and peanut butter.
Bride-of-wire@reddit
Butter and golden syrup (the kind made from lions*
*or so my dad told me when I were but a nipper - there was a lion on the tin, and lions were the same colour as the syrup. Btw, just checked and my 16 year old nephew still believes this to be true.
topheavyhookjaws@reddit
Yess, this is it
vcdaisy@reddit
Hot crumpet toasted until caramel coloured on top yet soft inside, so maybe 3 revolutions (toast, pop up, spin, repeat). Cold butter from the fridge. Golden syrup (or honey at a push) that seeps with the melting butter into each pore of the crumpet, filling them with a creamy sweetness you can almost drink. Food of the gods
the_flying_fish@reddit
scrolled down too far before I found this option! nom nom
Re the lion thing... you may know this but it's even weirder.. look closely, that's a lion corpse filled with bees... "The original logo, introduced in 1883, featured a dead lion with a swarm of bees, inspired by the biblical story of Samson and a riddle about sweetness coming from strength"...
Snoo91508@reddit
Vegemite
silentrunner0653@reddit
Butter and a slice or two of Waitrose smoked salmon
Constant-Rutabaga-11@reddit
Honey 🍯
LiveMusic1@reddit
I have butter and jam
icantbeatyourbike@reddit
I have 2 as the norm, one with a mountain of butter, the other with a good spread of jam, or, or, or, hear me out, marmalade. Yeah I said what I said.
It’s like a main course and a dessert then.
CindersHonner123@reddit
One heavy butter , the second butter and marmite . Must also be double cooked for a good external crunch.
Other acceptable choices. Jam , cheese, honey, golden syrup. But individualy obviously 🙄 🤣
UniqueEnigma121@reddit
Unpasteurised French Butter🤤
WhyDidIDoItSoSad@reddit
Nutella
J05hE@reddit
Butter and black pudding, tonight.
PsychologicalRow8034@reddit
Peanut butter, chocolate spread of primula
JustUseAnything@reddit
Marmite. And butter obvs, I’m not a heathen. I sometimes add cheese and grill it, when I’m feeling extra decadent.
Diefenbachia@reddit
Butter.
Butter + marmite.
Philadelphia (Butter optional).
And the bottom of the crumpet must be properly crispy, otherwise the whole thing is trash.
CrankyFouvey14@reddit
PHILADELPHIA CHEESE AND A SLICE OF HAM OR SALMON WITH LEMON JUICE AND DILL ON IF ITS SALMON. I WILL HAPPILY DUE ON THIS HILL. ESPECIALLY THE HAM ONE. ITS SOOOOOOO GOOD.
knight-under-stars@reddit
It depends, like many bakery products they are really versatile. Some firm favourites, all with an illegal amount of decent butter applied before the topping:
And a bit of a wild card for you, if you use garlic butter instead of regular butter they make for delicious mini garlic breads.
Reasonable_Blood6959@reddit
Cheesy Garlic Crumpets sound incredible. Definitely stealing this.
OpinionUnhappy3180@reddit
Cube the crumpets and dip them in melted garlic butter and put in the air fryer!! Greatest croutons man has ever invented
knight-under-stars@reddit
If you want cheese then the easiest way is to butter the raw crumpet, sprinkle grated cheese ontop and put the whole thing in an air fryer.
Think-Committee-4394@reddit
“On this weeks ‘How pizza can you make a crumpet?’ We talk pepperoni?”
knight-under-stars@reddit
Now you mention it, mini pizza crumpets would be incredible.
My kids are going to freak out when they see these.
Think-Committee-4394@reddit
Slightly fry them first, let the pepperoni juices get into the crumpet, cheese on top, can stick some BBQ sauce on first if you are going whole hog
Crispy bacon works well too
Reasonable_Blood6959@reddit
This guy crumpets
Willsagain2@reddit
Updoot for the garlic butter. Must try that.
Rosalie-83@reddit
An offensive amount of butter.
Or, an offensive amount of butter and an offensive amount of marmite.
cactusdan94@reddit
Butter and marmite
Das_Gruber@reddit
Dipped in egg, then fried. Dip in ketchup or brown sauce.
RaiLau@reddit
Butter to soak in and then peanut butter.
RichBristol@reddit
Honey can be good with the vast amount of butter
Chris_M1991@reddit
A friend asked how much butter I wanted and my response was “make sure it’s pissing butter”.
dwair@reddit
Butter and lashings of Marmite. Indian pickles are nice too.
Specific-Sundae2530@reddit
Butter is the only correct thing to put on a crumpet
Greengrass7772@reddit
Just butter, but sliced like cheese and laid on top.
umngaz@reddit
The correct way is to immediately add butter to the warm crumpet so that it melts wait for the crumpet to cool and then add a slice of butter on top
engineerogthings@reddit (OP)
Thankyou for confirming that normal people are still out there
Greengrass7772@reddit
Definitely, adding all sorts just complicates it.
Bonus points for toasting crumpets over an open fire.
sock_cooker@reddit
Why would you put liquorice on a crumpet?
Success_With_Lettuce@reddit
I dont think they would. They were just saying a spattering of liquorice on a crumpet is a bit much, and I agree tbh
sock_cooker@reddit
Me too. How about those blue nobbly ones at the bottom of the bag? They could scarcely taste any worse
bornfromanegg@reddit
What? The blue nobbly ones are the only nice ones! Apart from the pink nobbly ones, which taste the same. I wouldn’t put either on a crumpet, mind.
West_Yorkshire@reddit
Mmmm clogged arteries.
Greengrass7772@reddit
Proper butter is better than anything, and isn’t full of artificial shite like you’d get in your so called healthy spread.
BeanOnAJourney@reddit
SO. MUCH. BUTTER.
TraditionalBread_@reddit
I haven’t seen anyone suggest mine, the ONLY way I will eat a crumpet. Enough butter to make a puddle, cream cheese smashed into the holes until no more will fit, and to be eaten by being torn apart instead of bitten to reveal the cream cheese goodness stuffed inside. It’s a winner
whysys@reddit
Depends how fancy I’m feeling (how well stocked the house is) 1. Butter, dibdabs of marmite, slice of cheddar cheese 2. Butter, dibdabs of marmite, cream cheese 3. Butter, dibdabs of marmite
Always savoury, never sweet.
yorknave@reddit
cold butter and strawberry jam
Open-Natural-6435@reddit
Sourdough crumpets with, lurpak, smoked salami and some hickory smoked extra mature cheddar cheese 🧀 😋
JulesSilvan@reddit
Cheese and marmite. Sometimes just honey, but mostly cheese and marmite.
harrietmjones@reddit
Cheese??
I’m not going to yuck on someone’s yum but I’ve never heard of anyone putting cheese on their crumpets before, so that’s new!
For me, it’s butter only. Though I have put some orange marmalade on top as well, if I wanted a bit of sweetness to it.
Jeffina78@reddit
Lots of butter, thin scraping of Bovril (developed allergy to Marmite 😢) and thin slice of cheese, preferably mature cheddar.
Also jam but not together.
Head_Hacker@reddit
Butter and a sprinkling of sugar
Remarkable-Main-2823@reddit
Marmalade!
AdministrativeBike45@reddit
I prefer butter and jam. Maybe I’m dull
Echo-Star1@reddit
Butter and bacon medallions
Avvie79@reddit
Margarine, cause I’m a filthy vegan
the_zenith_UK@reddit
Highly unorthodox but lashings of Heinz Sandwich Spread. Delicious
PaleIncome8254@reddit
Butter and marmite
Ok_Smell4401@reddit
Kerrygold butter and Pips n nut peanut butter....yum
Aeouk@reddit
Seriously strong cheese spread.
sherwoodgiant@reddit
A slice of cheese, then put back under the grill like cheese-on-toast. A healthy dollop of Branston pickle or brown sauce is also a great finisher.
SitamoiaRose@reddit
Depends on the mood - sometimes it’s jam, other times cheese, either just sliced or grilled.
Novel_Description164@reddit
Butter and marmite 😋
Inevitable_Bit2275@reddit
Butter and marmite
Polz34@reddit
Honey. For some reason growing up it was honey and now I can't eat crumpets with anything else on or it just tastes wrong!
phantom_phreak29@reddit
Proper salted butter and honey is top teir
ussy-dictionary@reddit
That sounds shaggable
Scasne@reddit
Can't say I've tried it but my brain is screaming that's more for afternoon crumpets rather than Breakfast crumpets, but then I also know what I'm going to get some nice bread and Clotted cream for lunch and with golden syrup gunna have some Thunder and Lightning.
petrolstationpicnic@reddit
I love honey crumpets, but my partner looks at me live ive got two heads for wanting anything other than just butter on a crumpet
engineerogthings@reddit (OP)
Thanks honey.
ussy-dictionary@reddit
Shit tonne of butter and Hendersons relish
2cbterry@reddit
Butter + cheese + fried egg, in that order.
pirate_penguins@reddit
A diabolical fuck tonne of good quality salted butter and occasionally some melted cheese
bornfromanegg@reddit
I’m layering it up with butter like most of the people here, and then adding raspberry jam. Anything else feels like a waste of a crumpet to me now. I’m stuck.
The_Callisto_Pro@reddit
Dump it up with butter
AloysiusBandit@reddit
Not exactly a healthy choice, but I've taken to putting butter on, letting it melt, then adding a sprinkling of cinnamon sugar and caramelising it with a chef's blowtorch. Results in the top being a bit like a creme brulee.
MalfunctioningElf@reddit
Posh crumpets
bornfromanegg@reddit
And who doesn’t like posh crumpet?
knight-under-stars@reddit
Holy shit that sounds amazing.
SpecialistGeneral794@reddit
Obscene amount of butter and a 60/40 lemon to marmite ratio added
jlelvidge@reddit
Tinned tomatoes with juice, liberally buttered crumpets, season the tomato juice and add a little butter to the juice. Pour the juice and ensure it goes into the holes of the crumpets, add cheese to taste
tumblingnebulas@reddit
432 comments and no one has asked you about the vessel that you are currently aboard?! Is that how you refer to your house, or are you literally at sea and if it's the latter - how does one ensure an adequate crumpet supply?
FrustratedPlantMum@reddit
Yes, OP, we want to know about this vessel and how you keep yourselves in crumpets
FamSands@reddit
Butter & Dairylea
SneakGiraffe@reddit
If you put butter and sugar on, then put them upside down in a pan to caramelise the butter-sugar combo, you can then have scrumpets.
Sreezy3@reddit
Lots butter and jam.
randompanda91@reddit
Butter and jam for sure. Agreed that Warburton's is the superior crumpet brand
User-1967@reddit
A generous amount of butter
Alternative-Twist-32@reddit
Butter, marmite, extra mature cheddar cheese.
Finished off under the grill
Nonbinary_Cryptid@reddit
Cheese on crumpet, then tin of tomatoes with a good amount of salt and pepper on cheese. That or a mountain of mushrooms fried in butter.
stamperphil@reddit
Butter then honey 🍯. Yum, both melt and drip through the base.
No-Pudding7837@reddit
There was a cafe where I used to live that made Eggs Benedict with Crumpets, it was amazing.
Personally I like stupid amounts of butter, sometimes cheese and sometimes eggs
CartoonistNo9@reddit
Salted butter, and lots of it.
Careless-Spray-5757@reddit
Optimum strategy is to have 4. Marmite, peanut butter, butter, jam in that order
ReputationKind4628@reddit
I am sorry, you are operating under a misapprehension.
Butter, peanut butter, marmite, jam is the correct order.
(And of course, butter should be applied to all, liberally, and before the secondary coat of flavour.)
Prestigious-Speed-29@reddit
Marmite is the most savoury, and should come first.
ReputationKind4628@reddit
It destroys one's taste buds though! A subtler flavour should come first.
Careless-Spray-5757@reddit
Interesting. I like butter as a palate cleanser and to mop up any savoury remnants
Next_Complex_9640@reddit
I have butter and crunchy peanut butter
Clear-Two-3885@reddit
Butter and peanut butter
2918927669@reddit
Both. Cheese and jam together is heavenly.
mommaymick@reddit
Tates syrup!!!
sock_cooker@reddit
Goats cheese and onion relish is God tier
Clear-Two-3885@reddit
I must try that
GardenPeriwinkle222@reddit
Also lemon curd is wonderful atop a crumpet
DevSiarid@reddit
Eggy crumpet with Butter. 😋
indecisivewitch4@reddit
I have actually put pate on one ! It was yummy 😋
Confident_Dig_7834@reddit
A heart stopping amount of salted butter. Real butter too. Not the spreadable stuff from a tub.
Sometimes lashing of jam too
narnababy@reddit
Butter and marmite
RhinoRhys@reddit
Biscoff spread. Revolutionary.
Dennis929@reddit
Marmite, of course!!
TolemanLotusMcLaren@reddit
Either far too much salted butter, jam or Nutella.
I've never tried a crumpet with cheese, but I shall give it a go 👍
freefallade@reddit
Butter, then peanut butter or Nutella.
Added note. They need to be toasted properly, like 7 or 8 minutes, so they outside is crunchy, but the middle is still soft.
Icy_Tip405@reddit
Loads of salted butter and sometimes cream cheese
WhatYouLeaveBehind@reddit
Salad creme
FutureThinkingMan@reddit
I’ve heard they’re having an affair.
elmachow@reddit
Butter and jam, cook on level 6
Caryria@reddit
Butter and marmite sometimes with cheddar on top or peanut butter with bananas. Yum
Bgtobgfu@reddit
One cheese, one jam.
Hot-Editor-4205@reddit
Bacon and Cheese.
cb0495@reddit
I like one dripping with kerrygold butter, one with some Philadelphia and the last one with some chunks of Red Leicester.
Gluttonous I know and I love it.
robbeech@reddit
Many options, but every single one starts with them pissing with butter.
Sea-Still5427@reddit
I've never heard of cheese on crumpets! They're traditionally a teatime thing, so jam is normal, surely.
engineerogthings@reddit (OP)
I agree
Sea-Still5427@reddit
That said, I do sometimes make a whimsical stack of crumpet, wilted spinach, smoked haddock, poached egg and proper mayonnaise, but that's not normal.
The-lemon-kid-68@reddit
Neither, it should be marmite.
littlerabbits72@reddit
I'm not putting anything on a crumpet, they are the most tasteless, rubbery concoction known to man.
ishtarahara@reddit
Butter and sugar, anything else is weird!
Anxious-Outcome-@reddit
Butter. Or butter and marmite.
BeAGoodPersonPls@reddit
Butter and Marmite! 😋
richboyadler@reddit
butter BUT try putting costa Mac and cheese on a crumpet .. it’s sooo good
Careless-Coffee-5082@reddit
cheese and marmite
DeborahSingleton_Bee@reddit
Butter and either cream cheese or, as I grew up with, plain cottage cheese. Has to be Longley Farm though and both toppings must have plenty of salt!
No-Reflection7604@reddit
Peanut butter or biscoff spread is what I've been having recently.
Shirelurk@reddit
Try butter and madras curry paste
onlyhereforthefoodz@reddit
Decent butter
Decent butter and jam
Decent butter and marmite
Cream cheese and lemon curd
FantasticBlood0@reddit
Now you made me crave a crumpet.
RedCashmereSquirrel@reddit
As much melted plant butter/margarine as that delicious little bastard can physically hold.
jetpilots1@reddit
I have actually been eating them this week for lunch. As I was born in the US, I have been having peanut butter & strawberry jam on mine, without butter.
I usually have two for lunch, and on the second I will have an obscene amount of butter followed with a pistachio cream spread from Italy that I get at my local Costco. It reminds me of Nutella, just pistachio flavoured and coloured.
B0dkin@reddit
Cheese spread and cheese
MySecret_Throwaway88@reddit
How about a spoonful of beef ragu (bolognese sauce) and a sprinkle of cheese on top. Buttered obvz
Embarrassed_Put_7892@reddit
Butter, marmite, cheese melted under the grill.
Jumpy-Brilliant-3880@reddit
A thick slab of butter and if I have the time or can be arsed, a nice Jam or Peanut butter.
Electronic-Sun-8275@reddit
Butter BOVRIL
TheManicMunky@reddit
Peanut butter and jam.
EuphoricGrapefruit32@reddit
Usually just butter, sometimes butter and Phily cheese, and just recently discovered Kerrygold spreadable with maple syrup. That was delish. They also have a cinnamon one, which I haven't tried.
Gold-Collection2636@reddit
Sometimes just butter, sometimes Marmite/Bovril, a fried egg is elite. Occasionally if I'm feeling particularly sweet I put syrup on them
demongibi@reddit
Cornish cream and black cherry jam. 🤤
About_to_kms@reddit
Crunchy Peanut butter & sliced banana
PomPomBumblebee@reddit
Usually several layers of butter, just keep letting it absorb until it cannot suck up any more.
Otherwise butter and Tiptree strawberry Jam.
Literally_Taken@reddit
You have won my heart
janeybabygoboom@reddit
Butter and Marmite, or Philadelphia cheese
Purple_Committee_216@reddit
Vegemite or Lyles golden syrup, plus butter of course
NapalmSword@reddit
I like crumpets under my butter slab.
Thep0is0n@reddit
Slightly salted butter and lots of it! My husband is an engineer for Warburton’s and says they taste amazing fresh off the line.
Impressive_Chart_153@reddit
Pb Honey Butter Cheese on special occasions
No-Daikon3645@reddit
Marmite
Ruggyy@reddit
Just a ridiculous amount of butter, never been a fan of chocolate spread or anything like that.
Lvivalentine@reddit
Loads of butter and Marmite!!!
Zahgurim65@reddit
I know I'm going to get some abuse for this, but a shed load of butter and a heap of crunchy peanut butter on one crumpet, then a shed load of butter and marmite on the other one. Then sandwich them together.
1stviplette@reddit
Cheese and a sliced tomato (and sliced chilli’s if you like it hot) under a grill or butter so it drips if toasted
I-am-Just-Sam@reddit
Tuna sometimes, or lamb
Remarkable_Ad_6939@reddit
Either just salted butter on its own, or whatever butter we have with a load of brown sugar on top so it melts together to a syrupy from the warmth.
click1850@reddit
Poached egg. Don't knock it til you try it
idontlikepeas_@reddit
Vegemite like a normal person
Soggy_Detective_4737@reddit
A squeeze of Primula cheese and chives, spread like butter, followed by yeast spread, and then a slice of whichever cheese in in the mood for - strong cheddar, Monterey Jack, Gouda, spicy chilli, or goats cheese.
Fuzzyjacket22@reddit
Butter
Pissadvisor@reddit
Peanut butter, normally crunchy. Sometimes with jam.
Butter and jam, or just butter.
Once I had butter and cheese.
Silent-Storm-1474@reddit
Butter & Bovril
FrankyFistalot@reddit
Toast them then dip into a pan full of melted butter, arrange on a plate with one basil leaf in the middle and then pour over a tin of Branston baked beans.
Wonderful_Affect_664@reddit
Beans on crumpets is underrated. Add some sweet chili sauce to take it to the next level.
Future_Direction5174@reddit
I am having crumpets for tea tonight. Butter and Primula cheese spread with prawns. There will also be cucumber slices as a veg.
Infinite-Doubt2587@reddit
Butter, jam and cheese!
IcedWarlock@reddit
Garlic butter and cheese
Iheartthenhs@reddit
A fuckload of butter and then whatever else I fancy. Options include marmite, jam, Nutella, maple syrup, cheese.
MelodicPaws@reddit
Golden syrup
geth1962@reddit
Melted cheese, cheese spread, Marmite, marmalade, salted butter. Not all at once
tartanlassie@reddit
Syrup
VioletsSoul@reddit
Butter and marmite
Phoenyx_wilson@reddit
So I have just found a maple butter by kerry gold and I swear I have brought more crumpets in the past week than anything else it's so good. Also I'm usually a jam or biscoff on crumpets.
no-one_ever@reddit
Pate and cheese
im-quite-stupid@reddit
🫡 Pate is my go too as well
Need to have a go with a bit of cheese too! Do you just slap a slice on top?
Neither_Presence_522@reddit
Not at the same time surely?
no-one_ever@reddit
Yeah for sure, like a tuna melt but with pate - it’s delicious
richinthailand@reddit
Nothing but lashing of butter
CassieBeeJoy@reddit
Usually just butter. I did put cheese on them when I was younger but haven't for a while.
IntraVnusDemilo@reddit
Butter, or jam, or Philly, or melted cheese (mature or with chillies and stuff) or even baked beans.
I'll eat crumpets with anything - Warbies, and I love them!
Queenfan1959@reddit
Butter!!!!!!
Ancient-Park-8330@reddit
Butter, runny fried egg
dazed1984@reddit
Butter and nothing else.
Nat_B_@reddit
Loads of butter. Sometimes jam. Never cheese.
AdThat328@reddit
Mostly butter...but beans and cheese work well.
dmb_80_@reddit
Fill holes with butter, add cheese, melt cheese, add chip spice and tomato sauce, you're welcome.
EmbroidedBumblebee@reddit
I think of crumpets as savoury so I put savoury toppings on them like cheese, beans, ham etc
Ohmalley-thealliecat@reddit
CHEESE????? I’m only putting honey on them. Crumpets are for honey
Tylerama1@reddit
Butter, marmite and peanut butter.
ItsNotAboutThe-Pasta@reddit
Butter ham cheese and some black pepper on top.
Styxand_stones@reddit
Butter, honey, pj&jam, lemon curd, avocado with a friend egg and black pudding
prustage@reddit
Marmite of course
vcdaisy@reddit
Best butter, Marmite and a serious case of indigestion afterwards. Worth it
Gabrielsen26@reddit
Butter and Golden Syrup. Always and Forever
Maximoodle@reddit
Unsalted butter, Biscoff spread, Maldon salt. Try it!
BumblebeeNo6356@reddit
Jam in the morning, cheese in the evening.
Mimi247@reddit
Philadelphia cheese
Comfortable_Hunt3460@reddit
Lots of butter. Occasionally bovril
New_Book131@reddit
Always butter. I have never put cheese on crumpets.
Foundation_Wrong@reddit
A lot of vegan butter
iamdefinitelynotdave@reddit
My new favourite thing is to buy the big square crumpets, toast and butter them, then add a fried egg, salt, pepper. and brown sauce.
Fucking game changer.
Dreadheaddanski@reddit
Marmite and cheese
ArtichokeDesperate68@reddit
Marmite and butter. They have to be hot so the butter and marmite melt into the crumpet for maximum flavour!
Restlessforinfinity@reddit
Butter and then some honey drizzled on top.
TimeCharacter3137@reddit
Butter and marmite 🤤
piggies1066@reddit
Butter and jam or butter and marmite. My parents are very happy with just butter but not my preference. My partner's family will do pizza ones...
topher2604@reddit
Lashings of butter
Absolutely nothing else
The perfect crumpet
Sfb208@reddit
As others have said, an obscene amount of butter. Jam too is fine. I also like lemon curd. I wouldn't judge anyone who chose Nutella or peanut butter. Whilst i can get cheese, id hardly say its the default.
BobbieMcFee@reddit
Some embarrassing photos. They know what they did...
Or did you mean to ask what I put on crumpets?
Captain_Kruch@reddit
A slather of butter, topped with grated cheese (preferably Cheddar and Mozzerella or Red Leicester) then nuked in the microwave for a minute. Finishedoff with some sliced ham on top of that. The crumpets get a bit soggy, but they're delicious!
noil46@reddit
Stilton melted under the grill or in the air fryer. Game changer.
s4turn2k02@reddit
They were always savoury when growing up. So butter and cheese
Have had Nutella on them and it was sensational. But my go to would honestly just be loads of salted butter
The__Groke@reddit
Crab or mackerel or salmon pate on top of loads of butter is godly on a crumpet that’s been toasted to within an inch of its life.
CocoRufus@reddit
Hot buttered crumpets and a scraping of marmite is a wondrous thing
Big-Praline-6341@reddit
Cheddar cheese and honey. Yum!
Visible-Management63@reddit
Get a couple of anchovy fillets and a few capers. Mush it up with a fork and lots of butter. Spread this on your crumpet (or muffin or sourdough etc) and add a poached egg on top. Banging.
cjc1983@reddit
Crunchy peanut butter motherfucker!!!
CD696969X@reddit
Cheese
Marmite
Cheese and Marmite
Marmalade
Lemon curd
Biscoff Spread
stuaird1977@reddit
Lurpack and beans
CA53Y7@reddit
Butter, too much is not a thing. This alone or anything added, I am particularly fond of peanut butter or chocolate spread on mine, or a mix, jam too. Jam n chock or jam and nut butter, there is no wrong answer if you like it go for it. Whatever your topping you select, the butter must flow out of it when squished, every hole must be filled.
Bloody-smashing@reddit
Jam and butter.
Mental_Body_5496@reddit
Butter and Honey Butter and Jam Cheese and Marmite
UnderstandingFit8324@reddit
Cheese, with creole seasoning
NeedingInspo101@reddit
Peanut butter and mashed banana
Crazyblondie11@reddit
Swear down I’ve seen someone make a crumpet sandwich on TickTock or I could have dreamt it who knows 🤷♀️
jevawin@reddit
One with butter. Lots of butter. One with butter and marmite. One with butter and marmalade. One with butter and a slice of cheddar. If I’m hungry, one with butter and soft cheese. If I’m decadent, one with butter and cherry jam.
There’s an “and” between each line…
Wouldn’t want to make any of the crumpet toppings feel left out.
PolgaraEsme@reddit
Ooooh Philadelphia cheese and cherry jam….crumpet cheesecake
Willsagain2@reddit
Doesn't that leave you with two sad crumpets left over?
kungfumovielady@reddit
Butter then jam
KeithMyArthe@reddit
Nice butter, bovril, then a second scrape of cold butter to replace that lost down the 'oles.
PolgaraEsme@reddit
Bitter and marmite.
But if you really want a treat, dairylea cream cheese squash well into the holes, then grated cheddar on top and under grill.
yarnwonder@reddit
Mostly just butter, but if I add jam it’s only ever raspberry.
Exact_Comparison93@reddit
Another crumpet
supmydudes12@reddit
Cheese and sweet chilli sauce in the air fryer. Don’t hate til you’ve tried it.
LordAxalon110@reddit
A thick wedge of butter and ham, sometimes cheese and ham.
qgwheurbwb1i@reddit
Lashings of butter. OR, if I want something sweet, then a load of Nutella.
Hollskipollski@reddit
Jam, jam, jam, jam, jam.
Signed,
A wasp.
jeremybennett@reddit
Black treacle
Livid_Cookie_1951@reddit
Double toasted then the high quality salted butter. Possibly marmite if I’m feeling particularly savoury. You’re welcome
lovee_me_hard@reddit
Straight up butter. Butter and cheese. Butter and fried eggs then stick the concoction back in the frying pan. Butter and peanut butter. Butter and Marmite. Butter and jam. Butter and marmalade. Butter and left over roast chicken.
You get the gist.
cider-with-lousy@reddit
I've reluctantly stopped eating crumpets in my quest to banish UPFs in my diet. Even M&S crumpets contain a potentially risky additive according to Yuka.
insertitherenow@reddit
Mainly butter but I also like to pour a mixed egg into the holes and grill them for eggy crumpet.
DeapVally@reddit
Butter and marmite, or Nutella. Depends what mood I'm in.
Electronic-Fennel828@reddit
Butter or jam or Nutella or cheese (but never a combination of those things
Background-Rabbit-84@reddit
Honey or golden syrup.
arioandy@reddit
Butter and sometimes strawberry jam, vegemite or peanut butter
BlendinMediaCorp@reddit
Hear me out: clotted cream and strawberry jam. Ace combo. (For my mouth, not my arteries)
But on a normal day, lots of butter and jam. Never tried cheese before, am I missing something spectacular??
engineerogthings@reddit (OP)
You are on the path of Righteousness, do not be swayed toward the dark side by these heathens. Stick with your choice and stay away from the cheesers.
BlendinMediaCorp@reddit
Lit’rally just had a buttered crumpet with jam for lunch, sneering at the soft cheese container as I done so.
ilikeanime1234567890@reddit
So many heathens, I'm writing the pope about a new crusade.
engineerogthings@reddit (OP)
I will follow you into battle
a2thehip@reddit
Butter on one, butter and Marmite on the other. Sit the Marmite one on top and last it melt through to the bottom crumpet. Chefs kiss
ChelseaGem@reddit
Honey or jam, that is all.
Legitimate_Spray_127@reddit
Lotus Biscoff spread
BaldPleaser@reddit
I’m with you, butter and jam or just butter.
Megatonberry@reddit
I like butter, a slice of ham, a piece of slightly melted cheese and a slice of tomato :).
TheSecretIsMarmite@reddit
Honestly so many things I like to put on depending on my mood, but Wensleydale is probably my favourite
Cecilx-x@reddit
Lots of butter and a bit of honey
twoleftfeetgeek@reddit
Butter and grated cheese, equally excessive amounts of each.
BaconLara@reddit
There has to be enough butter that there is visible butter on the plate, the crumpet is saturated and soft, and there’s still visible butter on the top. Sometimes jam on the top
That being said, cheese on crumpets is also damn good, though I much prefer cream cheese.
Hopeful_Durian_193@reddit
Guacamole and hot sauce 😋
Less_Breadfruit3121@reddit
Butter and icing sugar
Important_March1933@reddit
Marmite
mrsdontknowwhoiam@reddit
Butter,peanut butter and blueberry jam if I need a sweet/salty mix.
Butter and marmite for if I’m feeling extra salty.
Butter and marmalade if I just want sweet.
Egg bath and fried if I need proper stodge.
Resident-Rush-8351@reddit
An obscene amount of proper butter. And a good dollop of marmite.
bobsburgers1174@reddit
Ice cream scoop of butter
sarcasticVulturebee@reddit
I like to stick it in the grill with cheese on top until it goes crispy and then will cover it with hot sauce and mint sauce
KEANUWEAPONIZED@reddit
lemon curd or butter
jshcfc@reddit
Always 3 inches of butter... Breakfast would be Jam, lunch would be Cheese (plus my other half likes raw onions which I'm not a fan of).
Possibly chocolate spread if I'm feeling adventurous or hungover
F_DOG_93@reddit
Lemon curd. I love anything to do with lemons. Lemon cake, lemon tart, lemonade, the whole works.
Jammy_the_Dodger@reddit
I dip a buttered crumpet into soup as my starter, 2 buttered marmite crumpets as my main course, and 1 buttered crumpet with jam as my dessert.
aardvarkhome@reddit
Has to be peanut butter
phetea@reddit
Cheese and jam, delicious. Don't knock it till you've tried it.
neilkeeler@reddit
Jam (strawberry) & cheese (cheddar) yes indeed
Gunboat_Diplomat_@reddit
Soak them in whisked egg then fry them
ArcadeCrossfire@reddit
Poached eggs on a crumpet is unmatched. You won’t find a better combination of breakfast foods.
All that slutty egg juice filling up the crumpussys.
What better way to start your day than with a creampied crumpet
The_Deadly_Tikka@reddit
I have never put either cheese or jam on a crumpet.
I have only ever used an absurd amount of butter or marmite
revpidgeon@reddit
Everyone knows that crumpets are a butter delivery system.
ScreenNameToFollow@reddit
They go well with a poached egg & beans.
Or peanut butter and banana.
EricaRA75@reddit
Lashings of butter and a gentle spread of marmite
RecordingNo8140@reddit
Butter and Marmite
jc_uk_@reddit
philadelphia cream cheese
myfriendamyisgreat@reddit
personally, a truly uncouth amount of butter. just real gluttonous levels of the stuff. spectacular. if i’m feeling adventurous i’ll carefully put a smidgen of marmite on too. a true contrast, a truckload of butter and a micrometer of marmite. never had cheese on one. feels wrong to me but i am intrigued and may have to experiment. might fuck around and put chocolate spread on a crumpet, who knows
Reviewingremy@reddit
A good crumpet should be pissing Marmite
thecoop_@reddit
Both are appropriate, just not at the same time.
Freckled_Scot982@reddit
First and foremost, the crumpets MUST be crispy.
Second, lashings of good butter.
I'd usually have a savoury one (a scraping of Bovril) and a sweet one (honey or agave).
Asayyadina@reddit
Both are excellent and I do both but for a different time and mood y'know?
Cantdecide1207@reddit
Lurpak and nothing else!
JustAnotherFEDev@reddit
Found the trillionaire 😂
msully89@reddit
Kerrygold salted is also acceptable
Leapimus_Maximus@reddit
The crumpet should be well toasted ( golden brown on top) and with an ungodly amount of salted butter slathered over and melted into all the little holes.
Petrichor_ness@reddit
Isn't that the beauty of a crumpet? It's like pancake/yorkie pudding batter, it can be sweet or savoury depending on your mood and the filling?
Personally, I have the pallet of a five year old so if there isn't enough white chocolate spread on it that it's oozing down my hands after every bite, I've done something wrong. Back in my uni days, they made a good meal with some marmite, spaghetti hoops, cheese and worcs sauce.
Powerful_Ad7343@reddit
Butter, butter and butter
GingieB@reddit
I have three. All smothered in salted butter. One with dairylea, one with marmite, one with strawberry jam. The holy trinity.
Mediocre_Sprinkles@reddit
Fuck tins of butter is the standard
Also: Marmite, onion or tomato chutney, and/or cheese, all delicious.
A_RiverSong@reddit
Chutney and cheese on a crumpet sounds divine. I'm gonna try it
ayeayefitlike@reddit
Either peanut butter or Biscoff spread.
A_RiverSong@reddit
95% of the time it's an ungodly amount of butter. 5% of the time when I'm feeling fancy it's butter, baked beans, and shredded cheese.
Kalisuperfloof@reddit
Just butter… fill all the little holes with butter and then scoff whilst excess butter drips off one’s chin
captain_seadog@reddit
Natural yoghurt and fruit - combo of berries and banana usually. Lovely breakfast!
Any_Weird_8686@reddit
Butter, and nothing else!
minxorcist@reddit
Tesco's crumpets, not those overpriced Warburton ones (obviously), with loads of butter and lemon curd or syrup or marmalade. Marmite if I fancy a savoury one.
alloitacash@reddit
Butter, golden syrup and cream.
Mecryyou@reddit
Bovril
OkFinding8093@reddit
Butter and nothing else, dont feel it needs more than that
Specialist-Piccolo41@reddit
Peanut butter
Bearded_Viking_Lord@reddit
Lots of butter tiny bit of marmite. It seeps through the crumpet and is amazing
Frequent_Cheek_7816@reddit
Fried eggs, when the yolk soaks into the crumpet it’s 👌
KeepOnTrippinOn@reddit
Butter and some sliced cheddar.
Lack668@reddit
Butter and marmite… also partial to pate. Very nice 👍🏻
LegoPandora@reddit
Butter. Lots and lots of butter. Or cheese, melted.
Plus_Sherbet460@reddit
Butter then slab of cheese and slither of honey before going back under the grill
BeginningMixture6095@reddit
I have loads of butter and either fried egg or corned beef (the sliced kind in a packet not the American one)
SingerFirm1090@reddit
You say Warburtons "obviously", but I recommend trying the square crumpets they sell in Aldi.
Personally, I quite like marmalade on mine...
Mammoth-Turnip-3058@reddit
More butter than sense.
My go to is usually lemon curd if I want something other than butter 🤤
Golden syrup is good too
pingusaysnoot@reddit
Butter and peanut butter 🥰
Someone introduced me to garlic butter and cheese done in the air fryer. Amazing.
dm_me-your-butthole@reddit
butter
Dumbusernamesuggest@reddit
Butter and marmite. The butter needs to seep out though.
Sure_Jellyfish8926@reddit
Either an excessive amount of butter to the point its dripping everywhere and ill likely need a towel bib, or butter and chocolate spread 😄
upsidedownlikeabat@reddit
Cream cheese with sea salt and black pepper… divine.
speculativeinnature@reddit
Butter and jam is such a great combo for crumpets! Cheese, what!!?
Kiel297@reddit
The only way I can describe how I like my crumpets is just absolutely pissing with butter
Living_the_Limit@reddit
Smooth peanut butter with strawberry jam. I like my crumpets well cooked too.
DoctorRaulDuke@reddit
I cut them in half horizontally, put peanut butter inside then spread Dairylea or Philadelphia on the top.
Ianhw77k@reddit
There's a special place in hell for people who put sweet things on crumpets. Lots of butter, a bit more butter, marmite and thinly sliced extra mature cheddar.
Nox_VDB@reddit
Loads of butter, more butter, and a bit more butter with some jam. Must be strawberry.
blackcurrantcat@reddit
Butter and marmite or butter and honey
Party-Werewolf-4888@reddit
Butter and maple syrup, butter and beans, butter and egg, butter and cheese. Sometimes butter and beans and egg and cheese all at once.
Kian-Tremayne@reddit
All the butter. And sometimes a thin layer of Marmite, but under no circumstances should the butter be skimped on.
mercilesskarenslayer@reddit
Just like ribs are a way to eat a lot of bbq sauce, and nachos do the same. Crumpets are just a means of transport ing melted butter into your face
SuspiciousTomorrow45@reddit
Pb&j
IhaveaDoberman@reddit
Butter, in approximately equal parts to crumpet.
More_Point_9333@reddit
jam and soft cheese!
MisterIndecisive@reddit
Anything but copious amounts of butter is unacceptable
clarebear2112@reddit
Butter or melted cheese
NighthawkUnicorn@reddit
Ridiculous amount of butter and way too much marmite.
cinamorollulu@reddit
butter, cheese or nutella . depends what i’m in the mood for
MissKeyes@reddit
Cheese, cheese tomato puree and herbs, jam, boiled egg, beans - such a tasty and versatile snack 😋
Nikkro@reddit
Recently poached eggs, all of that yolk runs into the holes!
SuburbanBushwacker@reddit
crumpets are a sweet food. to be eaten in the second half of the afternoon.
kwakimaki@reddit
Just butter. And no, it can't be done in an air fryer. They just don't toast up right.
A fried egg is also acceptable.
yearsofpractice@reddit
Just obscene, offensive, potentially dangerous amounts of Lurpac
(Other butter is available, but it ain’t Lurpac, fam)
RegularStrength4850@reddit
My first thought was "evidence of a covered up political scandal"...but now I understand the question, just butter
Meeple_person@reddit
Hello other person who's mind works the same way.
Orangesteel@reddit
Stilton and bacon. Had it at a fancy hotel once and it’s now my default
Crivens999@reddit
My crumpet journey started with only butter, then jam, then finally (thanks to wife) beans with cheese. Personally though my favourite is honey or treacle (with butter). Nice…
tamhenk@reddit
Butter, jam and peanut butter.
SpaTowner@reddit
Butter, or butter and marmite. Occasionally butter and bovril.
Nothing else I’ve tried works. Ooh, other than the time we had poached eggs and bacon with them (and butter).
I’ve tried cheese, tried peanut butter, tried cheese… none of them work, though I think if you melted the cheese under the grill (with some marmite underneath the cheese) that could work.
Inevitable-Fall-7107@reddit
Butter and then cheese to the side so it doesn't melt. I then take a bite of crumpet and a bite of cheese together. I'm aware I might be weird for this.
therealhairykrishna@reddit
They need butter.
Both jam and cheese are good. Depends what mood you're in. Honey is excellent too, as is maple syrup.
RedsChronicles@reddit
Butter, with eggs and bacon
PastSupport@reddit
Just butter. Why spoil perfection?
BritishDystopia@reddit
Cheese and marmite for savoury, PB&J for pudding.
Significant-Yak-2373@reddit
Just a ton of butter
ConfectionHelpful471@reddit
As long as butter goes on them, everything else on top is acceptable.
Personally partial to baked beans on mine but jam is also a strong favourite.
molluscstar@reddit
Sometimes butter and jam, sometime just butter, sometimes cheese melted with loads of black pepper
Lovehat@reddit
I prefer a pikelet
Free_Ad7415@reddit
Melted butter and honey
Mmmmm
Experiment-5@reddit
butter and golden or maple syrup.
QuarrieMcQuarrie@reddit
Butter and marmite.
iBimpy@reddit
Just butter. Lots and lots of real salted butter.
hocfutuis@reddit
Lemon curd is really good, so is chocolate spread.
Puzzled_Caregiver_46@reddit
I'm rather partial to some butter and a slice of Port Salut cheese.
P_For_Pterodactyl@reddit
my guilty pleasure is plastic american cheese on top and then under the grill
elizabethpickett@reddit
Three options: 1) butter 2) butter and hood quality honey 3) butter and lemon curd
Professional-Day6965@reddit
Just a mountain of butter.
I have put cheese on, but I didn't think it was something anyone else regularly did. I don't think cheese is a normal topping.
IWOOZLE@reddit
Cream cheese and jam, apricot is my favourite but anything goes. Butter adds to it but it’s still great without!
Willsagain2@reddit
Grammar Police here; you used the WRONG conjunction. It's jam AND cheese. Atop the plentiful butter, of course
oojiflip@reddit
Marmite and shitloads of butter. One of the absolute best flavours yet so easy to make
mikewilson2020@reddit
Salted butter till its dripping through 🤤
Grouchy_Judgment8927@reddit
Always lots of butter. Sometimes cheese browned under the grill, sometimes Marmite, occasionally raspberry jam.
Visible_Nothing_9616@reddit
An obscene amount of butter on a well toasted crumpet, then either jam, marmite, cheese or cheese spread are my go tos.
smutanssmutans@reddit
Did you know that crumpets aren’t actually a food? They’re a butter delivery system.
Stevebwrw@reddit
Butter yes of course. My wife used to like a little Golden Syrup. That is far too sweet and sticky for me. I like a cheese slice partially melted. Very nice.
fourlegsfaster@reddit
More butter than is financially feasible, if sweet, honey is the only option; if savoury, mature cheddar. I once had to make do with Edam, I got therapy.
weirdhandler@reddit
Butter sliced so you can see the teeth marks, plus honey.
TSC-99@reddit
Only butter
ShinyShovel@reddit
Honestly, marmite. It's so good.
VFrosty3@reddit
Marmite.
BiscuitCrumbsInBed@reddit
Loads of butter and/or bit of cheese. My son like chocolate spread on his, or biscuit spread, even jam!
just-a-little-goblin@reddit
Butter, marmite, cheese (usually cheddar), airfry until cheese bubbles
Orc_face@reddit
Thin smear of Marmite then Peanut Butter
Low-Temperature-1664@reddit
Butter all the way. If the crumpets are sitting in less than a 5 mm pool of butter then add more butter.
You can also add honey or maple syrup if you're trendy enough.
ConsequenceSecure808@reddit
Obscene amounts of butter
PatTheCatMcDonald@reddit
Some people like cheese and jam on bread products.
Personally I think they are somewhat gross but have at least tried them.
elbapo@reddit
Butter plus almost all of the below, but.
Sweet: Allt he jams, honey, marmalade. Nutella, biscoff. All good options.
Savoury: Poached egg Mature cheddar Poached eggs and black pudding Pesto genovese and salami or cheese Marmite.
I have also been known to make a 'crumpet pizza' but I dont known if it meets community rules
Basically all are delicious. Crumpets are awesome and very versatile. Don't knock any of the above until you have tried them.
Similar-Ad2640@reddit
We do both, a cheese one for mains and a jam one for pudding
Durzo_Blintt@reddit
Just butter. It doesn't need anything else. It's like a pizza, if a pizza isn't good enough to loved as a margarita, then it's not a good pizza. Toppings only dilute the experience.
seven-cents@reddit
Jam and cheese
KittyOohLaLa@reddit
An obscene amount of Lurpak, and raspberry jam - food of the Gods.
GreenWoodDragon@reddit
Butter, strawberry jam and Cheddar cheese (or Wensleydale if I have it).
firthy@reddit
Marmite and Cheese is always the answer to this oft asked question...
Pier-Head@reddit
Melted cheese
prickly_pink_penguin@reddit
Biscoff on a crumpet is the dirty bastard of toppings. Melty biscuity goodness in the holes.
annegoho@reddit
Fried egg and margerine
CrabbyGremlin@reddit
Butter and honey or butter and peanut butter. Always butter.
ThugLy101@reddit
Butter n marmite some time a bit of cheese
RiotSloth@reddit
Either just butter or butter and marmite is what I do
wonky-hex@reddit
Anything you'd put on toast you can put on crumpets
GetCapeFly@reddit
Butter. Kerrygold butter specifically. Occasionally some Rose’s lemon and lime marmalade.
HealthyWhereas3982@reddit
Butter and Marmite.
beeurd@reddit
Lots of butter. Sometimes cheese. If I'm feeling extra fancy, maybe a poached egg.
gorllewin@reddit
Nutella
Cheese and hot sauce
Brewstar21@reddit
Proper butter and marmite
yourefunny@reddit
I usually have one savoury. Lashing of butter and either marmite or cheese and ham. Then I have one sweet. Usually butter and jam like you, but sometimes butter and peanut butter.
No_Watercress8348@reddit
Just a ridiculous amount of good butter. Cheese makes them too sickly
itsok-thatswhatilike@reddit
Jam or cheese 🧀
Tall-Revolution-4604@reddit
hot take but butter and smoked salmon is one of my favourite combinations
Thestickleman@reddit
Butter and sometimes maple syrup
Whithorsematt@reddit
Anything other than just lots of butter is unnecessary.
Joltby@reddit
Proper real butter
God bless our milkman
Upbeat-Fish-3348@reddit
The best thing I’ve had on crumpets is loads of butter and then topped with a generous amount of cinnamon sugar, make sure they’re still hot so the sugar kinda melts.
James_White21@reddit
You work with weirdos make them walk the plank.
Zealousideal-Sail893@reddit
Butter with jam
Or scrambled eggs and fresh tomatoes
Or cheese and fresh tomatoes
Depending on my mood
MarsKrispy@reddit
Butter and marmite
PoglesBee@reddit
Constant battle with myself between absurd amounts of butter and something from the following list:
Oh good grief. Guess I'm buying crumpets today.
random_username_96@reddit
Butter and syrup/honey!
indigo263@reddit
It's butter and raspberry jam for me, without a doubt. Can't bring myself to have anything else on a crumpet, just feels wrong to go savoury!
DeadBallDescendant@reddit
pentangleit@reddit
Honey
ObsydianGinx@reddit
Only butter. But an ungodly amount of it
vcockle@reddit
Its not top tier (obviously that's butter, closely followed by melted cheese) but eggy crumpets cooked in the airfryer
wondered-bongo@reddit
Butter and marmite
-the-monkey-man-@reddit
Butter and or jam.
thethirdbar@reddit
i usually prefer just (lots of) butter, but quite often will add jam also. usually damson, but i also like cherry jam and blueberry jam.
very rarely bother with cheese tbh, but have done on occassion. i do love cheese, but it's not my preferred crumpet accompaniment.
MrZerigan@reddit
Cheese, peanut butter & marmite. (At the same time)
amlarobot64@reddit
Has to be butter, cheese, and marmite. I can feel the hate from here
RetiredFromIT@reddit
Most of the time, just a lot of butter. I usually breakfast with a large Warburton crumpet, and that is how I do them.
Sometimes, as an evening snack, no butter but a slice of cheese melted onto it. Something like a Gouda. Alternatively, grated cheddar.
When I was younger, I was obsessive about a snack I loved. Crumpet, toasted and buttered, spread with strawberry jam (for some reason, it had to be strawberry) then topped with grated cheddar and put under the grill again. I sometimes have this, still, but have largely lost my sweet tooth, and am diabetic, so it is rare now. Tastes lovely, though.
Edible_Magician@reddit
Butter and peanut butter
TheMasalaKnight@reddit
Peanut Butter and Jam, firmly crammed into every crevice.
raskalUbend@reddit
A heart attacks worth of butter and then cheese and/or marmite
abfgern_@reddit
Jam, biscoff or marmite
Austin83powers@reddit
Garlic butter. Honey and butter. Butter and cheese. Peanut butter. Jam. Nutella. Poached egg.
tobotic@reddit
Usually just (salted) butter. Occasionally butter and honey, or butter and jam.
I have only recently discovered that some people put savoury toppings on crumpets. I have always considered crumpets to be a vessel for neutral-to-sweet things. If I want to put cheese on something, it will be a muffin or bagel or toast or something. Putting cheese on a crumpet is like putting cheese on a Hobnob to me; I can imagine it kind of working, but it's depraved.
CrazyMike419@reddit
Just butter or... poached egg, bacon, mayo and a little cayenne pepper
StCathieM@reddit
Butter and salty blue cheese
screwfusdufusrufus@reddit
Marmite and or cheese, jam, fish paste or other shipman’s spreads.
Butter
If I’m being posh “gentleman’s relish” anchovy paste
Erinawful@reddit
Cheese under the grill then a splash of Lea n perrins.
charlotterose23@reddit
Butter and only butter. Lots of it!
-Dreamweaver--@reddit
Butter and honey!
mk6971@reddit
Butter and jam obvs. Anything else is criminal.
TheRealWhoop@reddit
Butter and lemon curs
Killybug@reddit
Anything other than butter is pure heresy.
madmatt30@reddit
Tried everything on them , peanut butter and also marmite work really well.
Can't use jam when the 2 year old grandson is about because he picks them up ,licks the jam off and puts them back on the plate 😂
I'll show him this Friday , gonna smother them in Marmite 😂😂😂
Holiday-Woodpecker47@reddit
Standard: Half block of butter, optional jam.
Savoury: Baked beans, melted cheese and worcestershire sauce.
sparklybeast@reddit
Butter and Bovril for main, butter and golden syrup for pudding.
lucillesz@reddit
butter and lots of it and occasionally I have marmite too but not too much
BoxWonderful5393@reddit
Butter and honey
Tuftygirl12@reddit
Butter or a soft poached egg
zombiezmaj@reddit
Majority of time just a decent amount of butter smothering it/them (because who has 1?!)
But I have dabbled in adding marmite and cheese or jam or even chocolate spread... given quite a few toppings a try (excuse to eat a bunch of crumpets lol)
I always come back to just butter as a favourite though so 9/10 that's what I'll have
Rude-Possibility4682@reddit
Marmite or blackcurrant jam if I have a sweet tooth day.
Working_Bench_6780@reddit
My wife's a little strange, she loves tuna mayo on hers . Only person I've ever seen do it .
Huditut@reddit
Butter then a big spoonful of honey on a hot crumpet. The honey pools into the crumpet holes mmmmmmm.
Smeeble09@reddit
Depends on what I'm feeling, but normally butter and honey.
I do sometimes do cheese, and I also sometimes do Nutella instead.
Puzzleheaded-Ant744@reddit
most of the time butter and honey. sometimes jam or marmalade
CMDoet@reddit
Peanut butter and sometimes peanut butter and golden syrup (gluten free crumpets so have to remortgage to afford them so they must be a treat item)
Ohm3ohmy@reddit
Ton of grated cheddar, toasted mmmm
Kaliforkneeya@reddit
My partner will do a lashing of butter, lemon curd, and then cheese on top, I don’t know what he went through in paisley as a child but I’m sure it makes this diabolical concoction make sense
Supersonic-Zafonic@reddit
I like cream cheese and jam on mine, and they have to be properly toasted too. I need that crunch!
Bears_are_the_best_2@reddit
Loads of butter, then either jam or honey. Whatever I'm feeling. I only eat cheese on pizza.
sweetlambly@reddit
Good salty butter... like the Marks' or Waitrose ones with lumps of salt crystals. And it should pool on the plate.
Sometimes... strawberry jam, with lumps of actual strawberry.
mixedupfruit@reddit
I don't understand the thought about putting cheese on crumpets. Like....ewww
lovinglifeatmyage@reddit
Just butter (and lots of it)
Alternative_Metal138@reddit
Day-to-day, I'd have a generous amount of butter and then a thin spread of marmite. Maybe cheese too, if it was after 11.
At Christmas and on special occasions: cream cheese and smoke salmon.
It was always a tradition to have blinis at Christmas, till one year we couldn't find them and used crumpets instead. Now I wouldn't go back to blinis.
CuteMaterial@reddit
The question is how many crumpets do I have with my butter
stupre1972@reddit
I think you will find i have crumpets with my butter...
Mumstheword76@reddit
Most mornings I have 3 (2 butter, 1 jam) but sometimes I do have cheddar cheese melted.
Say_Thankya@reddit
Proper butter and Marmite.
The best.
mrdibby@reddit
just butter
Junior_Tradition7958@reddit
Marmite and very thin layer of cheese.
Katharinemaddison@reddit
Butter you maniac. Just loads of salted butter.
WatchingTellyNow@reddit
Just butter. Enough that they're swimming in a sea of butter on the plate. Then add more.
Misher_Masher@reddit
Either butter on it's own, or butter and cheese.
Not a fan of jam.
Frequent_Fruit_6796@reddit
Peanut/Almond butter and strawberry jam.
77Gaia@reddit
I’ve just been an absolute pig, and had three, because Warburtons are weirdos and think 9 is a sensible number of crumpets to put in a pack. I wasn’t leaving one in the pack, in case it got lonely. Nobody wants a lonely crumpet. Or one crumpet as a serving. Probably.
Two with butter and Marmite, one with butter and strawberry jam. Obviously, I had to wash my hands before typing this, due to the level of dribbly butterage.
SearchStack@reddit
Wife likes biscoff spread, I’ve tried and it’s pretty good
butwhatsmyname@reddit
Butter and honey. Heaven.
ashensfan123@reddit
Butter topped with some biscuit spread.
engineerogthings@reddit (OP)
Some what?
ashensfan123@reddit
A spread such as Biscoff. There's also a spread that Iceland stocks called Nutini which is similar.
BastardsCryinInnit@reddit
Not Warburtons, obviously.
Their crumpets are too thick to the point they brought out a "thin" range, and of course theyre not thin at all, they're normal crumpet thickness.
I love Warburtons for their Toastie, but their crumpet game is weak, and supermarket own brands are just as good as they nail the balance.
But in answer to your actual question... Butter. Only butter.
That is the only right answer.
They are not a vessel to jazz up with anything else.
sock_cooker@reddit
Also: they're tories
ConsistentWolf4269@reddit
Butter and honey
Henegunt@reddit
Aggressive amounts of butter and pepper.
WinkyNurdo@reddit
Butter, decent raspberry jam. Or some set honey.
Puzzled-Barnacle-200@reddit
Chocolate spread
ceb1995@reddit
I d have thought jam and butter was normal
engineerogthings@reddit (OP)
Yes, it is normal, but I learning that there aren’t many normal people
GoOnYourBigAdventure@reddit
Butter, cheese (melted) and topped with marmite!
Ok-Fig-7510@reddit
Butter, marmite, extra mature cheddar
slowjoggz@reddit
Loads of butter and then peanut butter, obviously
GOD_DAMN_YOU_FINE@reddit
Same but i like to add raspberry jam and a pinch of salt on mine. Change your life.
slowjoggz@reddit
What the Americans call Peanut butter and Jelly then?
GOD_DAMN_YOU_FINE@reddit
They do get some things right now and again.
sybrows@reddit
Loads of butter and Marmite
williamshatnersbeast@reddit
If I’m not smelling sour butter all day from where it’s dripped into my beard then I know I’ve not used enough butter.
Bobrock99@reddit
Either sh*t loads of butter (has to be real butter) or a reasonable amount of butter with cheese on top.
Valuable-Wallaby-167@reddit
Marmite or ham and brie or egg and beans or jam (preferably raspberry) normally. Why limit yourself to just sweet or savoury?
knight-under-stars@reddit
I will never understand people who live by such arbitrary rules.
jewelledpalm@reddit
Melted cheddar and encona hot sauce is my favourite crumpet topping
Fred776@reddit
Surely it's not just one or the other? They can be sweet or savoury. Someone saying it "has to" be some particular topping wouldn't say the same about toast so their opinion can be discounted as far as I am concerned.
For me, sometimes it could be butter and marmite and other times butter and jam. When I was a kid, butter and golden syrup was the usual.
gibberishnope@reddit
I’m quite flexible with my choice of topping, but I really like marmite, don’t like cheese though
Winter_Parsley8706@reddit
More salty butter than you can shake a stick at
quackers987@reddit
Butter
Golden syrup
Biscoff spread
Nutella
All are valid choices
Sweet_Night_2108@reddit
Jam and cheese, melted under the grill mmmmmmmmm
OG_Flicky@reddit
When they are hot i add butter and let it melt in, then I let them cool a bit and add more butter
Ill-Basil2863@reddit
Try using crumpets instead of a muffin when making eggs Benedict. It is out of this world.
DropDeadDigsy@reddit
Loads of butter loads of it
PerceptionGreat2439@reddit
Bovril or Marmite.
Annjak@reddit
A lot of butter, marmite. IMHO the only way to eat crumpets.
Nolsoth@reddit
Good quality peanut butter, a nice cheese or golden syrup. Obviously lashings of quality butter as well.
The wife just likes butter and salt, but she's a cockney so her culinary palette is obviously underdeveloped.
MelodicAd2213@reddit
Cheese and lime pickle
Icy-Belt-8519@reddit
Just butter!
Hoodsfi68@reddit
Honey and butter on one and jam and butter on the other. They always travel in pairs.
IrritablePowell@reddit
Given that crumpets typically come in a pack of 6, and we are a 2-person household... main course 2 x butter and marmite; dessert 1 x butter and golden syrup.
Princes_Slayer@reddit
Heavily toasted. Lashings of salted butter. My ex bf used to add jam on top. My husband would happily eat a crumpet with jam, Nutella, or a fried egg.
BG3restart@reddit
Lemon curd for me.
Morris_Alanisette@reddit
Most often I have cheese and tomato puree like a little pizza crumpet but the great thing about crumpets is they taste amazing with all sorts of toppings.
Nine_Eye_Ron@reddit
Cheese and gentlemen’s relish
Violet351@reddit
Butter or seriously strong cheese spread
Scary-Ad7245@reddit
Crumpets look like a very worrying skin disease. Or the back of the Surinam Toad. Vile.
Time-Mode-9@reddit
Cheese.
Or jam
Or marmite
cdf84@reddit
Just a generous spread of salted butter.
onlysigneduptoreply@reddit
Nutella or Jam
YouSayWotNow@reddit
Salted butter and Marmite
Salted butter and honey
Salted butter and maple syrup
Salted butter and cheese
Salted butter and jam
You're probably seeing a theme ..
Garconavecunreve@reddit
Salted butter
Either solo, with honey or an over easy egg
fezst@reddit
Loads of butter and a few slices of cathedral city
Aromatic_Pea_4249@reddit
I put salt on top of the butter too.
Neither_Presence_522@reddit
Cheese. Pate works well, and so does a fried egg with a runny yolk.
Pedantichrist@reddit
Cheese for the first one, jam for the next. ALWAYS plenty of butter.
spik0rwill@reddit
Butter and marmite, but sometimes I add a slice of cheese to finish it off.
kittykat7931@reddit
Butter, strawberry jam and a slice of nice mature cheddar….. Or just butter and jam.
cornishpirate32@reddit
Just butter Marmite Blueberry jam Honeh Golden syrup
luckeratron@reddit
Over the weekend I had a boiled egg and Korean honey on one, and it was amazing.
Obvious-Water569@reddit
Good french butter and Marmite.
rrainingcatz@reddit
Thick Anchor butter.
thelightwound@reddit
Plant butter and Marmite 😋😋😋😋
LittleSadRufus@reddit
Usually butter and honey for a sweet option, and Branston pickle and cheese flashed under the grill for savoury.
Butter and jam is my backup option when I need more variety in my diet.
Single-Aardvark9330@reddit
Butter or Nutella
Wonderful-Cow-9664@reddit
Melted cheese and lots of black pepper. My husband just puts butter on his and he thinks cheese is a despicable topping. He accepts jam as “normal” though
InfiniteBaker6972@reddit
Proper salted butter, Marmite, cheese. Or… butter, salami & cheese. Or just a grind of black pepper.
subbiedavie@reddit
definitely lurpak and strawberry jam here. Never tried with cheese tbh.
engineerogthings@reddit (OP)
Thankyou for confirming normal humans still exist
subbiedavie@reddit
Haha! You’re most welcome.
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