What's the worst thing you have said to Tower?
Posted by iGreenDogs@reddit | aviation | View on Reddit | 60 comments
I have recently started getting comfortable in communications with Ground and Tower, using my pen and paper to write what I am going to say less, and generally getting ready to talk on coms as I slowly get closer to my solo. But today when flying, tower cleared me "for the option", and I replied with "clear for landing", so that made me think:
What is the worst mistake or thing you have said to tower or ground or whoever else?
NotSAMFox@reddit
See you next time.
soguesswhat@reddit
I had just landed at a small towered Class D during a solo while I was a student, taxied back around, and tower gave me takeoff clearance, but before I entered the runway…
Tower: November Alpha runway 25 cleared for takeoff.
Me: Tower, it looks like there’s a coyote in the field right next to the runway.
Tower: Right next to the departure end of Runway 25?
Me: Yes
Tower: That’s a decoy meant to keep birds away.
Me: … Birds, and some student pilots. Cleared for takeoff runway 25, November Alpha.
Mach_v_manchild@reddit
I had a citation depart off the parallel early on my instructing days. Pilot completely disregarded the "fly runway heading" instruction. We were departing the left runway and in our left crosswind. He passed in front of us by 30ish feet. He keyed up and yelled at tower for clearing him to take off behind us even though he reported us in sight, and yelled that he's switching to departure without being told. Tower was clearly frustrated and a little shook, and asked if we were ok, and if we were over our runway, or had turned to the right, instead of left traffic. I responded "we turned our left crosswind and almost got hit by the citation, its a good thing I wore my brown pants today"
The_Joker2311@reddit
100% that guy got in trouble for that. Ignoring tower instructions and then losing their cool on frequency is insane.
Mach_v_manchild@reddit
Yeah tower told me that departure gave them a phone number 😂
The_Joker2311@reddit
Id love to hear that conversation 🤣
yzfer@reddit
On initial contact with tower while inbound VFR, at a very large international airport, I confidently told them I had information “Unicorn” for some unknown reason. Immediately burst out laughing to myself and could barely respond to more calls. Stupid mistakes happen, laugh them off.
finnknit@reddit
Unicorn is way better than uniform, in my opinion. Perhaps it's time to update the phonetic alphabet.
MusicalWhovian8@reddit
PLEASE. I absolutely hate "Sierra". You couldn't pick an S word that actually sounds like it starts with an S?
finnknit@reddit
I'm not sure what you mean. To me, "sierra" has a very clear "S" sound at the beginning. What would be an example of a word that would be clearer to you?
MusicalWhovian8@reddit
I always hear it as Cierra ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ squid, snack, salt, star... we use Charlie for C so maybe something like shackle, shape, shingle? (I'm coming at this as someone who works at an airport with ramps labeled Alpha-Echo though so it's not like I'm using it enough to reallllly know lol)
5campechanos@reddit
Has it occurred to you that the world of aviation doesn't revolve around Americans?
Your proposals work for English speakers but it's far easier for people with ESL to pronounce Sierra than Shingle or Shackle.
nalc@reddit
We should use Sharle for S, as in Charles LeClerc
Tiny-Distribution133@reddit
Put that one in your little book of wisdom.
AfraidAccident7049@reddit
We are checking
SWITMCO@reddit
The fact that we use a ch sound for C is exactly why we shouldn't use an sh for S
MusicalWhovian8@reddit
Fair & I didn't think about that! Honestly I don't think we should be using names at all. Charlie, Mike, Romeo, Juliet, Oscar, Quebec, & Sierra should all go imo. Like the OG commenter said, the whole thing could use an overhaul.
BlackJFoxxx@reddit
What should we use instead? Plain letters are a nightmare, and every phonetic system has its flaws.
Also, what's wrong with names? They're quite snappy, and easily recognizable.
swexbe@reddit
Summer
piersonpuppeteer1970@reddit
Sierra sounds way too much like Zero over the radio sometimes and vice versa. I'm down to change S.
Aishas_Star@reddit
I vote for “Sandwich” to replace sierra.
finnknit@reddit
That's a very good point that I hadn't considered.
On a side note, I like your username. I don't meet many other people who are familiar with Ringworld.
C--K@reddit
Old British 1918 phonetic alphabet had S for Esses, X for Xerxes, N for Nuts, etc
RealPutin@reddit
Taxiway Unicorn Taco
Akephalos95@reddit
Not the worst, but...
"Cessna 12345, contact FIS on 127.5"
"127.5, thanks Cessna 12345"
"FIS Cessna 12345, good morning"
"Nope, you're still with Tower"
FlyingKolo@reddit
To be fair that happens a lot even with airliners. I usually get 3/4 per cycle
gamefreak32@reddit
Especially when you press the button to swap active and standby and it swaps them and then when you let go it swaps them back.
pierocks4133@reddit
I’ve somehow been lucky with the radio mess ups but i did once read back “exit ground contact delta” when landing.
sweller55@reddit
“Holding shart 17L”
49thDipper@reddit
A lady I was dating called me from a clothing store and said “I gambled and lost.”
What she thought was a bit of gas was actually a giant shart. She was calling me while standing inside one of those circular clothes racks so nobody could see the huge brown stain on the rear of her cute WHITE PANTS.
So I mounted a daring rescue mission. I won’t bore you with the massive amount of planning and the exquisite attention to detail, not to mention the perfect execution. But I will say that the reward I received later for my heroic effort far exceeded my expectations.
Gambling is a slippery slope folks.
Pro tip(s): If you ever get the call bring a long coat for the gambler and towels for the seat of your truck. If you’re dating the gambler be prepared to pretend you don’t smell anything.
UNDR08@reddit
I called ground multiple times, and received no answer. Not realizing that I was the problem with a stuck mic, so they couldn’t respond.
In my frustration, I said, “fucking answer me dammit” moments before I saw the TX light on the radio.
Needless to say, I was glad to get out of there that morning.
Important_Ad_6819@reddit
There was a tower controller at my CFI airport that would say “you are number one in my heart, but number two to the field. Follow Cessna on final, cleared to land”😂
DjQball@reddit
Kennedy steve vibes
Snoo-29984@reddit
Absolutely amazing controller lmao
The_Jeffniss@reddit
In all respect Tower, you are wrong, I will join behind the Falcon, number two, clear to land.
*after I landed
Tower, C210 WILL vacate taxiway C, A, B2 to the hangars. My phone number is #, call anytime you need a lesson on aircraft speed.
The Falcon pilot called me afterwards and told me that was badass and will defend me at any hearing there might be (which there wasn't)
To be fair, I was a class two controller before becoming a maintenance engineer and pilot. I worked that specific Tower many-many times.
Still waiting for the call
Appropriate_Lynx4119@reddit
“Tower, I have a number for you to call after I land” is insane work. Well done!
The_Jeffniss@reddit
The falcon was in orbit for well over 40min when I joined circuit. The controller kept letting small trainer aircraft land as they where flying circuits.
I could feel the frustration of the falcon pilot as he was told to continue orbit when I got clearance to land. I did one orbit and we where separated enough for him to land, and me to land behind him without worrying about crashing into him. He was on the taxi way when I was short finals.
I had a pleasant tower experience at that same Airfield the other day though. Lady controller that was juggling 37 aircraft in circuit without even a break break. I called her over the radio before I shut down just to say she was a absolute Rockstar.
No-Paleontologist260@reddit
"Tower, this is XXX, on the numbers, runway 05."
They had cleared me to line up and wait, but it was at the far end of the field, 2km away from the tower and they had clearly forgotten me when they cleared traffic on final for 05 to land: "XYZ, you are cleared to land runway 05".
My reply changed their mind: "XYZ go around, XXX cleared for takeoff".
Squinty_the_artist@reddit
Reading back “let us know when you’re ready to copy” with “Roger, let us know when…”, word for word, intonation and all. After a flustered second, I got my IFR clearance from a somewhat confused controller.
Dmackman1969@reddit
Always flew out of VERY quiet Charlie’s. My CFI I flew out of that Charlie with neglected to discuss chatting with clearance before talking with ground, because this slow Charlie combined ground/clearance.
At a busy Charlie I called up ground and my other CFI looked at me like I was crazy and said wtf are you doing?! I stupidly told tower, never done that before, he was quite abrupt (as he should be, I deserved it) and told me to get a damn clearance as he was super busy.
I felt like an assclown. Never again.
makgross@reddit
Thats odd. I made that mistake when I was a low time pilot. The response from tower was “Cessna 12345 contact clearance 119.1” and that was it.
Busy controllers don’t (or shouldn’t) have the time to chew people out on frequency.
Dmackman1969@reddit
I was probably more sensitive to it looking back. I try to be perfect with ATC and hate when I mess up.
He did have a lot going on, it was an IFR day that was supposed to be clear and I could hear the stress in his voice.
I bet if nothing was happening he would have been more relaxed with it. It is my fault and my mistake so I take my lumps and learn.
norman_9999@reddit
More an omission, I checked in with JFK tower once but forgot to tell them which approach I was cleared for, (a 16-hour flight will do that sometimes). Cue getting chewed out on freq for the next minute...
Argentum_Air@reddit
They had time at JFK to chew you out on frequency? Wtf
CapeGreg767@reddit
Once told an Air Force tower controller to go listen to ATIS and tell me how many times he had to listen to it before he had it all written down! Seems it was a contest to see how fast they could read it! It got changed after that.
v_one_cutt@reddit
C SEE U YOU N NEXT T TIME
Veefy@reddit
Some local clowns in my area made this an unofficial tourist slogan of the Northern Territory in Australia much to the annoyance of the official govt tourist agency.
https://ntunofficial.com/
BrewCityChaserV2@reddit
"San Diego tower, go fuck yourself."
Francoberry@reddit
Ron Burgundy's ass is grass!
81Horse@reddit
Obvs not -- because there is no "San Diego" Tower
Peepeepoopoobutttoot@reddit
San Diego, which as we all know is German for “A Whales Vagina”
Hour_Analyst_7765@reddit
On VATSIM my first flight I flew into Hamburg.
I kept saying Hamburger.
Wingsnchisel@reddit
Mark the tape
BPnon-duck@reddit
I gotta poop
PunkAssBitch2000@reddit
Full story please
CattleDogCurmudgeon@reddit
I feel like this is effectively the long and the short of it.
BPnon-duck@reddit
Taco Bell. That is all and I am ashamed. Kudos to Tower that hooked me up and the FBO that I used. RIP to that stall.
yzfer@reddit
On initial contact with tower while inbound VFR, at a very large international airport, I confidently told them I had information “Unicorn” for some unknown reason. Immediately burst out laughing to myself and could barely respond to more calls. Stupid mistakes happen, laugh them off.
BrewCityChaserV2@reddit
Tower: "Contact departure."
Me: "YOU TOO!"
BrewCityChaserV2@reddit
"YOU TOO!"