Imposter Syndrome
Posted by nithish654@reddit | ExperiencedDevs | View on Reddit | 30 comments
I’ve been in the industry for about 5 years now. By most measures, I’d say I’m doing pretty well - solid grasp of what I do, work’s going great, super flexible setup, zero micromanagement, and a high level of trust/independence.
Here’s the kicker though:
Apparently, in an internal meeting, my manager straight-up said I’m the best on his team and literally used the phrase “he’ll nail it no matter what.”
And instead of feeling proud or validated, my first reaction was: wait, what the hell? me? really? full-on imposter syndrome activated out of nowhere.
So, do you guys still get that feeling from time to time? Even after a few years of solid experience and good feedback? How do you deal with it?
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tr14l@reddit
No. I'm amazing.
HademLeFashie@reddit
I did get it when I was at 2 YoE. But at more than 4 YoE it's the opposite for me. I have reverse impostor syndrome, I think my skills are underrated by my team.
Dizzy-Historian2804@reddit
It is refreshing to see that the OP uses the expression "imposter syndrome" correctly. Unlike many of the replyers who think it means not knowing how to do something, X, or not feeling confident one can do X.
Everyone experiences moments of self doubt about a specific task. That is not imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome is a more general feeling that one has been recognized for something one does not deserve. That one has conned others into believing one was capable. It may occur when being put in a position to do X, but not because of how daunting X feels, not because of self doubt related to X, but because of the a feeling of being a fraud that let to bring in the position to do X.
Imposter syndrome is more rare than people who bandy the term around think.
If you feel overwhelmed, that's not imposter syndrome. It's feeling overwhelmed and many get it all the time.
rcls0053@reddit
I don't make promises. Doesn't matter what my manager says I will deliver, I will not make promises. I will try and get the thing delivered in small pieces to get feedback, but I don't stress about it.
cromwell001@reddit
Yeah, I get where you're coming from. My manager constantly uses me as an example in front of the team, which honestly makes me feel a bit awkward. I worry it might make others see me as a bit of a suck-up.
What’s funny is, I’m not even sure what I did to deserve that kind of spotlight. I’ve just been quietly doing my job with what I’d call "calculated mediocrity," since I’m also working on a startup on the side.
No-Economics-8239@reddit
All the time. The joke is we oscillate between thinking we are the greatest that ever lived and the worst who even touched hand to keyboard or PDP switches. Creativity is a mental discipline that is every bit as taxing as more physical disciplines, but the costs tend to be more hidden.
Mental health is something we don't get anywhere near enough training in, and yet it remains a major part of our overall health. Your creativity needs fuel just like anything else. Inspiration can strike at any moment, but your mind needs to be open and flexible enough to take advantage of it. That is hard to do when you're filled with anxiety and depression.
Modern lifestyle can be incredibly draining, as we are continually being blasted with demands on our attention. This is not conducive to a creative discipline that requires focus. This leads to a deluge of ideas that can undermine our confidence.
Catastrophizing is very easy to do, and it can be hard to catch ourselves when we are doing it. Adding in equal doses of mindfulness and self compassion can go a long way. Learn how to give yourself the same grace you give friends and loved ones. It's okay to make mistakes as they are how we learn.
And discover how to remember and celebrate your successes. You will always be your own best advocate. It is fortunate that you have a manager who believes in and trusts you. We are not always so fortunate. By being mindful of your skills and adopting a less critical eye for ourselves, we can see our inner worth and remember all the reasons we have made it so far.
BillyBobJangles@reddit
Haha yeah it's wild how often I have a moment of "man I'm a genius" followed up very quickly by.. "wait no I'm actually stupid..." And sometimes full circle to "no I was right the first time".
account22222221@reddit
Humblebrag
Barrucadu@reddit
No, not really.
I got hit by imposter syndrome hard during my Ph.D, I almost dropped out because of it, but never while working as a programmer. I've always been a high performer so I've never had any reason to doubt my abilities. Sure, I don't know everything, there's always going to be someone better than me, but that doesn't make me feel bad: it's just another target to aim for.
putocrata@reddit
It's "impostor" goddammit.
Castyr3o9@reddit
18ish years of experience. Yes, but it gets better. I had a boss that would regularly say similar things and early on I was promoted very rapidly, which made it feel worse.
A long time ago I had a boss that helped me work through it by suggesting I be more forgiving of myself, celebrate my wins more, and move on from failures faster while telling me to never try to compare myself to someone else. I thought everyone did the latter, but then I started talking to mentors about it and they said they never did either, that everyone is unique with a different set of skills and qualities. In gaining more leadership and having to choose who takes ownership of what is when it really clicked for me, I don’t decide one person gets to own X because they are “good” but because they have the right skillset and qualities for that particular project or task. So rather than this view myself and colleagues as scores of how good of engineers we are, I see diverse skillsets and qualities that are more or less suited for particular jobs. That’s not to say there are some pretty amazing or crappy engineers, just you should not evaluate yourself and your peers through that type of lens all the time.
But it still gets me now and then, the other day I was brought in to consult some very senior people and my first thought was “what am I doing here?” and I just had to say “fuck you old self, I’m here because I am expert in the topic”.
TasteZealousideal976@reddit
Wild how your brain can be your biggest hater sometimes. But hey, if you’re nailing it, own it...
because clearly others see it too !!
DowntownLizard@reddit
I think it's the fact that with experience you realize how much you can't possibly know. Give yourself credit for all the stuff you are really good at. I felt the same when I got my first promotion. I worked hard to learn a lot and I don't need to feel bad for getting what I wanted.
I think it really helped reminding myself that everyone is human. Even the CTO is just doing their best and can't possibly know everything or be perfect. There won't be a day when you all the sudden hit the singularity so give yourself some slack
Stubbby@reddit
Software engineering is VERY multifaceted - you will lag in some areas and shine in others. It is also so opaque that you can't compare people no matter how much we try using ranking systems in interviewing and management.
It really helped me to understand that other people also suffer from limitations (and their limitations are different than mine). Once, our top C++ expert decided to re-architect our solution, he took a well structured code with proper permissions and created a singleton where everything accesses everything else through a single central instance. It was an absolute disaster but it proved that even most skilled developers need teams.
So there is a lot of people that struggle to produce anything of value and they are perceived as highly skilled developers. I.e. look at ThePirateSoftware who claims 23 years of software experience and using global hard indexed arrays and writing C++ today like its C in the 90s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KtzADIW0tg
canadian_webdev@reddit
100%, man.
If you asked me to do something I've done a billion times, I'd be confident and do it with my eyes closed. No syndrome. But every project I get at work, there's always something I've never done before. So I'll get stuck again and again, and that's when the syndrome creeps up. Been at this since 2013.
There's a lot I don't know - but, I know with enough time, or help from Google/SO/AI, I'll figure it out and put the pieces together. If I can't, I ask for help.
Natty-6996@reddit
You should tell him your Salary should reflect that then.
creaturefeature16@reddit
Imposter syndrome can keep you humble. Ever met someone without it? They tend to be arrogant pricks. 😅
jenkinsleroi@reddit
Better this than the opposite. I'm working with someone who thinks they know everything but actually knows nothing.
gacebal@reddit
Es tecnologia y no podes saber todo ... buscar, investigar, analizar ... es parte de esto mi amigo! y errar es parte del ser humano! ... si te gusta y lo disfrutas, es el camino correcto! abrazo
temp1211241@reddit
Of course. Welcome to a career where there’s always more to learn and there’s always more to do.
This can be fine as a driver of continuous learning except where it leads to anxiety and job insecurity for some.
Funny enough tracking things like story points or epics closed across the team can help with this if you often do ship a lot. Sometimes sprint cadences can give the self-impression teammates are doing more than and you less than you think.
You can’t know everything and no one expects you to but that often means you’re in conversations where you know less than the person you’re engaging with on a subject.
At the end of the day what you deliver (product), how you deliver it (timeliness), and how important it is to the company is what actually matters here. Those should be your metrics for professional success and you should try and actively take more pride in that.
TimMensch@reddit
Not a popular idea, but talk to a therapist.
There are likely self-esteem issues that make you question your own abilities. You don't need to deal with these feelings alone.
Sica942Spike@reddit
Imposter Syndrome keeps hitting me all the time, I once thought I couldn’t be eligible to code perfectly and efficiently, I couldn’t be able to fix all the bugs in a short time, that must be a me problem.
Even though I’ve got positive feedback on every 1:1 talk, I still cannot get rid of it, and my anxiety rocketed to the max from time to time. It sounds unreasonably funny if I tell you that I’ve teared in front of the screen quite a lot times when I was stuck in some debugging issues. It was never the end of the world but it just brought me the shitty feelings, even though it never ever affected my performance assessment
So you see, you are not alone, this happened to me, to everyone, a lot. Try to manage the feelings and learn something to make sure you are in progress every day, this will enhance the confidence day by day. Reading some books or watching videos about mindset and anxiety is also helpful for me. Keep telling yourself, “I’m making progress even if it’s a small bit, and I’m always doing my best”. Fake it until make it, mindset matters the most.
RelationshipIll9576@reddit
Imposter Sybndrome is really common and it manifests in a variety of ways. But where it stems from can be super complicated. For some it's just triggered from off days, but for others it's deep rooted low self-esteem/self-worth, potentially mixed with people pleasing, and/or approval/permission seeking...
But likely what you are describing is someone that just puts their heads down and works without really paying attention to the good stuff they are doing. And if they do, it's going to be compared to an internal bar they have set ("am I doing better than I usually do or worse?"). But that bar likely hasn't been compared to the rest of society. In other words, you likely have a skewed sense of your capabilites because your pool of comparison is much smaller (perhaps just against you?) only, so you aren't fully seeing the reality of what you can accomplish.
How do you address this? Practice saying "thank you" when you get these compliments. Then deal with whatever internal reactions you have separately on your own time. If you find that if parts of it are tied to low self-esteem/self-worth, then therapy helps. It's worth unpacking what's going on there.
But really, there's no clear path on how to navigate it. Mostly because Imposter Syndrome is often used as a catch-all label that has a wide range of actual meaning.
basskittens@reddit
30+ YOE and it never stops. Unfortunately the more you have, the more you have to lose.
At a previous job they were big on mindfulness, gave us free subs to meditation apps, encouraged us to take mindful breaks, etc. There is plenty of scientific evidence that it actually works. Anecdotally, it's been great for me. When I start to spiral, I take a mental break, remember my practice. It helps.
driftking428@reddit
I've been a developer just a bit longer than you. At my first two positions I never felt particularly knowledgeable, but I was undeniably a high performer.
Recently I joined a team where in the only person on the team who isn't familiar with the back end. Literally everyone else has years of experience.
The imposter syndrome is crippling sometimes. The only thing that helps is getting some team members say it took them years to understand the stack.
You'll be fine. Just learn to manage that feeling.
jedilowe@reddit
In computing you will always have something that is outside your current knowledge base. I started working on GPS receivers and was enamored by web sites (it was the 90s) but had no idea how to build them. I changed jobs and learned that tech pretty quick but everyone said... "you did GPS" that must have been really hard!" Neither were, once you have a chance to learn them.
If someone has that confidence in you it means they know you can solve things in the current system and maybe you could eventually work out new tech given time! Don't take it as you know it all now and never need to ask another question. That is a ridiculous idea as Software Engineer's first responsibility is to listen to what others want and need and ask questions to learn about it.
denverdave23@reddit
I'm an engineering manager. I tend to focus on team issues, including dealing with problems that people have. I can confidently say that the vast majority of people, in and out of tech, who have important jobs experience imposter syndrome. Not only are you not alone, but you're in the company of some of the best engineers I know.
I've also suffered badly from imposter syndrome, so I know how to identify the symptoms.
If you want help over coming it, DM me. My approach is to review the work you've done, the expectations for your role, and compare the two. It helps to see that you're actually good at your job and not actually an imposter.
lunivore@reddit
More decades than I'm going to admit to. Yes, I do. I've actually just included this in a deck I was writing.
It happens when you're sharing knowledge or asked about something you know a bit about or called on to deliver something challenging, and you know that you don't know what comes next.
But that just means you're in a great place for learning, and that the stuff you're about to learn is in demand! Impostor Syndrome is just a signal that you've found a niche.
So next time you feel it you can feel great about it!
Moving_Forward18@reddit
I've been helping IT professionals in their careers for a long time - I've worked with a lot of people, and I can tell you that absolutely, a lot of people feel that way. I had one client awhile ago, a CTO, who had done great things and said he still had imposter syndrome. I had another client who kept saying, "I'm not ready for CTO yet..." when he clearly was.
So you're certainly not alone.
One way to deal with it is by addressing your inner monologue - your boss says you'll get it done, he's obviously knowledgeable, and has nothing to gain by saying this... things like that.
Beyond that, just acknowledging that the impostor syndrome is there and that it's counter-factual will help; it'll lessen over time.