ULPT What can I have surgery on to be off of work for a couple months? I desperately need some time away.
Posted by Imaginary-Map4856@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 41 comments
peachjohnson@reddit
If you are a woman you can get a positive pregnancy test from someone (like me) and claim that you have hyperemesis or that the pregnancy is otherwise high risk. Then return after you “lose” the pregnancy
Flaky-Wallaby5382@reddit
Talk to MD about “major depression” then use your short term disability insurance from your state and corp.
If those dont exist try fmla if the company is big enough
stoic_yakker@reddit
FMLA requires documentation.
forkicks_16@reddit
no one said it would easy, but most professional will say you are depressed if you say that you want to end your life
Aggravating-Ear-7213@reddit
Nooooo! You will end up on a 72hr psychiatric hold in hospital. And you'll be medicated involuntarily.
forkicks_16@reddit
Sorry let me clarify being active threat to your life is different from explaining what suicidal thoughts you might be having in your life, explaining that sometimes you don't think your life is worth do won't get you thrown in a hospital -source I'm some times tell me therapist this
overkill@reddit
Don't threaten me with a good time!
PM-me-your-knees-pls@reddit
No such thing as involuntary medication for us!
Aggravating-Ear-7213@reddit
Lol
Aggravating-Ear-7213@reddit
Lmao!
Ok_Perception1131@reddit
Physicians won’t recommend FMLA for depression unless the patient is engaged in inpatient or extensive outpatient treatment.
Flaky-Wallaby5382@reddit
Not true. My physician did when I exhibited all the signs. Cant sleep, irritable, coffee has not effect due to lack of sleep, impending doom…
Now you need a physician who believes you and as a white man who has never asked before. I am sure that helped my MD was a white man.
Malodoror@reddit
And likely dealing with Sedgwick which will exacerbate your condition.
Tronracer@reddit
A former coworker did this. The company let him go shortly after returning to work.
Flaky-Wallaby5382@reddit
Technically that’s illegal but often the case
Realistic_Tie_2632@reddit
Bone spurs can get people out of ethical duties.
nayrwolf@reddit
Torn rotator cuff
assplunderer@reddit
Go play up the crazy and get short term disability from your job. Find a fun nuthouse
SloppyEights@reddit
Find a better job. The day will come after “surgery” that you will have to return to work and it will be worse than before. Next thing you know you’ll consider jumping off a bridge or getting hit by a bus for more time off.
Culionensis@reddit
Ahh, America.
Imaginary-Map4856@reddit (OP)
This made me LOL.
Rich-Passenger-9540@reddit
You can’t go out on mental health?
fatherdoodle@reddit
If they work in corporate America, no way. Unless it’s a really progressive company
Rich-Passenger-9540@reddit
I mean I personally wouldn’t share my diagnosis anyway for FMLA I would just have the doctor fill out the paperwork saying I can’t work for x amount of weeks and leave the descriptions vague. If someone’s an alcoholic or drug dependent you can also go out on FMLA for recovery.
overkill@reddit
Have you just answered your own question? Grab yourself some crack and/or fent and/or meth, get a couple of bottles of rotgut and get a move on!
TFD186@reddit
Lol.
No_Cream8095@reddit
If you can get a Dr to forge STD (short term disability) paperwork, you will have bigger issues. It will get you time away but also not allowed to return.
FairBookkeeper2673@reddit
Wisdom teeth removal. Worked for me
obikofix@reddit
Something connected with the back. Like a bad injury, like a herniated disk.
anxious_apostate@reddit
I had a double discectomy about 25 years ago. I was off work for a full month, followed by light duty for another month.
CrazyCatLady9777@reddit
Terminal Lumbago
Somecrazygranny@reddit
Bilateral bunionectomy
manualsquid@reddit
This is unethical tips
Just find a medical professional to sign off on a fake surgery, show em the receipts.
Realistic_Tie_2632@reddit
Lobotomy?
myseaentsthrowaway@reddit
I have a coworker who has been off since November due to back surgery
Bitter-Iron8468@reddit
Get attacked by ninjas....
RooTheDayMate@reddit
That’s the (h)yakuza.
Wolf0PHL@reddit
When you suffer an on the job injury, a doctor’s approval is supposed to be required to return to work. If a worker’s compensation doctor does send you back to work, this decision can be litigated, but be sure to check local law, union contract etc. if your workplace is refusing to send you to a worker’s compensation lawyer, or has no process, time to contact an injury lawyer.
Wolfdragonsunshine@reddit
Gallbladder removal. That’s a solid two weeks off.
TheAnonua@reddit
Grippy sick vacation.
Kafkabest@reddit
Gonna depend on your work.
Feet and leg stuff is usually good if they don't have remote work options.