ULPT How can I break Bluetooth earbuds without it being obvious?

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Anatharias@reddit

Compressed air (from a compressor), will kill the membranes inside leaving no external trace

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Thin_Cable4155@reddit

Get a little straight pin or safety pin and poke it through the holes the sound comes out of. It won't completely break them, but poking holes in the speaker will make them sound like shit.

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chronotoast85@reddit

Still stuck on sharing buds. People are terrible about cleaning them.

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Leviathon713@reddit

Yeah. I'm not sharing anything that goes in any orifice unless it's my wife. Even that might be questionable, depending.

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Dougally@reddit

If his orifice is questionable, so would his wife's. I'd prefer his wife's office.

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Muttywango@reddit

Coupla good jokes in there I reckon but it 's been 6 hours now. It may be a lost joke. 6 hrs and nobody has exploited the sharing/wife/orifice comment, I don't know what this world is coming to.

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Lanky-Squirrel-943@reddit

Fine.

I also choose this guy’s wife’s orrifice.

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Kyonkanno@reddit

Might want to try a thumb tack. Most earbuds have some sort of metallic mesh to protect them.

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Molunchin@reddit

Who shares earbuds with their colleagues….yuck

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400F@reddit

Seriously wtf, might as well share a tooth brush.

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Johnny_Poppyseed@reddit

Bro for real I wouldn't even share earbuds with my own mother. Random ass crusty ear coworker? No fucking way.

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Drop them in 90% Isopropyl Alcohol, pull them out, shake them, them place them back. The alcohol in liquid form will ruin them, but it will dissipate quickly so there's no evidence they were tampered.

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MrQuojo@reddit

Wash them and then dry them. These work on anything but apple AirPods

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niskydaved@reddit

This entire sub is for people with zero communication skills

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Outrageous-juror@reddit

Throw them in the microwave for 4 seconds

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DonkeyKongTattoo@reddit

Why has no one else suggested piss discs yet

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Far_Kaleidoscope_102@reddit

Get a taser and zap them

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scimitar1312@reddit

Just steal them

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EatCrud@reddit

If you murder him in such a way that you won't get caught, you can take ownership of the ear buds. There are several ways to do it. Alfred Hitchcock has stated that an ice cycle would make the perfect murder weapon.

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spangdooler@reddit

Exactly. Icicle would make it too easy.

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ElectriCole@reddit

What like a bicycle made out of ice?

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okeysure69@reddit

Will a rare earth magnet held against em do the trick?

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ElectriCole@reddit

No, it won’t harm them in any way

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ElectriCole@reddit

Microwave is the perfect solution actually. They literally only need to be nuked for 5 seconds and nothing on them will melt in that time. If you want to literally see how fast a microwave destroys electronics just chuck a CD or DVD in there for 3 seconds

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BigTribal@reddit

Maybe they just go missing

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melperz@reddit

After 2 months you suddenly have a new pair again

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Merkuri22@reddit

The risk here is that OP's coworker still has them in his phone and is able to connect with a tap, proving that OP stole them.

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Shenanigan_V@reddit

Buy the same model at a store, make sure to show OP you got their same brand too. Then snatch and return that bastards buds in your box, using your receipt. Same, same, only different

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Substantial-Bat-337@reddit

This is the way

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UtopianTyranny@reddit

Some stores don't allow returns of open-box in-ear headphones for sanitary reasons

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cowabunghole1@reddit

I like your style

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Challenge_Declined@reddit

One goes missing, preferably the master if that model has one.

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ChemicalCat4181@reddit

Got to be careful with that because they might have tracking and make a sound to help him find them. Would be pretty awkward if he set the lost sound on when OP was still nearby with them in their pocket.

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cps42@reddit

One issue right now is that they will still be within the return window - so you should save damaging them until they can’t be returned.

Instead of breaking the earphones, mess with the pins in the charging cable, put superglue on the charging port of the charging case, something - just enough, so the cable won’t seat reliably. Or inside the case, so the headphones don’t seat reliably. Even if he replaces the case, and can use the headphones again, you can mess with the next case. Make it inconvenient and lame.

Earbuds that work really well but won’t charge reliably is one of the most annoying things I’ve ever experienced.

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jthsbay@reddit

I've used clear fingernail polish before.

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cps42@reddit

That’s probably a better answer, tbh.

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On_the_hook@reddit

Found someone with a non working pair. Replace just the left one. Shouldn't be covered under warranty as the SN wouldn't match up. After they replace them, do the same with the other one.

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smokeyvic@reddit

Double down. Love it

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Dependent-Plane5522@reddit

Microwave

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badmother@reddit

Ask if you can borrow them, then "lose" them.

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XemptOne@reddit

"borrow them" then lose them, then deny everything

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PurpoUpsideDownJuice@reddit

Drop them in a freshly used toilet, then take them back out after about 30 seconds. Dry them off but don’t clean them. And hopefully your enemy will have an ear infection in a few days

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1k3B33@reddit

You should never put them in the microwave…

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CodenameTheBarber@reddit

Does your workplace have a baler?

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Ok_Feedback_4421@reddit

Baler? I hardly know her.

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contactsatan@reddit

Dammit Michael

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MissO56@reddit

That's what she said.

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CodenameTheBarber@reddit

glances at camera

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dragonsofliberty@reddit

Next time you see them holding the earbuds in their case when there are other people around, loudly and cheerfully thank them for replacing the ear buds they borrowed from you and broke, while reaching out to take the case out of their hands. With any luck, they will be too startled to physically stop you from taking the earbuds, and will choose to let you have them rather than making a big awkward scene.

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truth_is_power@reddit

Roll for Charisma

I'd do it in the middle of a team meeting

"I'd like to thank my troll, for bringing new headphones to replace the hone they borrowed! Thank you, you can give them to me now"

"Oh you don't plan on replacing mine? Okay, that will be 200 then since you can obviously afford it "

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ApoplecticAndroid@reddit

Pour a little fish juice inside them

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Unfair-Language7952@reddit

Contact Mossad and see if they will work with you on a special’ set of earbuds.

Not something that would be like the exploding pagers but something that would cause permanent hearing damage.

You have a crash test dummy for testing purposes.

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moonsmart@reddit

Just throw it around, not too hard but multiple times. The touch sensors get damaged easily.

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MisterCircumstance@reddit

Just steal them, take them home, deny it

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envoy_ace@reddit

Water.

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GloriousUnfolding@reddit

I recently purchased a 500K BTU flamethrower as a weed killer, I wore my ear buds while using it the first time. They started to 'snap crackle and pop,' slowly destroying them from the inside out.

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Wholesomebob@reddit

This person lost your headbuds, bought new ones and isn't giving them to you with an apology?

Steal them.

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cwhitel@reddit

Take the fucking buds and put them in your pocket. And thank them for replacing your lost ones.

Fuck that person

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muntaxitome@reddit

Several brands of earbuds have 'find my' features. I would highly recommend not taking them permanently

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cwhitel@reddit

No need for a “find my” feature when OP looks the person in the eyes and thanks them while they do it.

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psyclopsus@reddit

A microwave for 2 seconds won’t melt them but they definitely will never work again

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B4nn3dByChr1st14ns@reddit

Injecting a drop or two of salt water inside of them would likely also work

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haringtiti@reddit

injecting a drop or two of salt water inside the coworker would also likely work

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senadraxx@reddit

What about a drop or two of milk?

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RooTheDayMate@reddit

Tiiiiiiiiny piss disc

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ongoldenwaves@reddit

Melt a bit of piss disc. Suck it up inside a dropper and put it in the ear bud. Lol.

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ErenKruger711@reddit

Take his and say “oh I found them! Sorry for blaming you!”

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Southern_Share_1760@reddit

Microwave will not melt them, will only need 2 seconds on full power

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Low_Corner_9061@reddit

Microwave will not melt them, they will only need 2 seconds on full power

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MissMurderpants@reddit

Even if you mess with them enough do that he returns them, if you keep messing with them they will flag him after a couple of times.

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surferdude313@reddit

Yuck who shares ear buds? Do you also borrow each other's tooth brush?

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Alert-Performance199@reddit

Microwave for a second or so

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padwello@reddit

Stash them somewhere so they can still connect to them but never find them. Occasionally recharge them so they show up on their list and cut into phone calls at work etc. eventually they will have to forget the device and then you have a nice new pair of earbuds not synced to any other device

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ctennessen@reddit

Only mess with one of them tho, to really mess with him

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PizzasBoyfrind@reddit

It honestly only takes 1-3 seconds in the microwave for most electronics to become inoperable

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eileen404@reddit

If they're trackable throw one in the back of a delivery truck.

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lordunholy@reddit

Bend the case charging pins with a toothpick

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cherryontop9090@reddit

Idk if your in an office, put one under the wheel and keep rolling back and forth over it until it’s wrecked. Then put it under his chair roller.

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SantosFurie89@reddit

Make sure to overly assign blame.. Maybe try to make a clutz / goofball nickname stick.. Anytime there is a teams or Skype meeting, look at him and make a snide comment about how they go on your head

Whilst I love the simplicity of this plan, I think a couple weeks of biological warfare could be helpful. Science experiment on the effects of bogey and pee maybe even poo (or bum / ball scratching at least) breeding inside the charging chamber

Also, I think a magnet could help maybe if powerful enough. Battery's degrade is heat and sunshine also, and don't like falls onto the flood often

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yarnycarley@reddit

Teeny tiny piss disks in the case 😂

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NoBenefit5977@reddit

gif

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Soft_Refuse_4422@reddit

Thanks for this suggestion. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a recommendation about piss disks

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2017lg6@reddit

Tack or needle through the sound holes

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Unionizemyplace@reddit

Do you want them to catch fire while inside of his ear orifices?

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mydogisatortoise@reddit

If you can tamper with them undetected then you can flush them down the toilet too.

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thor421@reddit

I like this option. Leave the case and flush the ear buds.

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AgentSnowCone@reddit

Just flush one 👀

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AtiumMist@reddit

Slide a piss disk under their desk ofc

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First_Shes_Sweet@reddit

Tiny piss discs in the charging ports, and some fart spray on the part that goes in your ear. Then huff some of the liquid ass cuz you're a baller.

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3vilpenguin1069@reddit

I mean if yours goes missing then why can’t theirs? Honestly who lets the enemy use something of theirs? You sound dumb

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Garth-Vega@reddit

Put sand in them - will annoy the fuck out of him.

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Otherwise-Ad4641@reddit

Glitter also works.

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Altruistic-Key-8843@reddit

Microwave?

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SirDouglasMouf@reddit

Remove from case
Christopher Walk'em up your butt like his watch
Remove
Place back in case
Observe

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ggibby@reddit

I assume a drop of runny superglue would do some damage.

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-shitbiscuit@reddit

The little glue that comes with acrylic nails.. that stuff is awful and super runny !

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StanielReddit@reddit

This will do it. A drop of clear Krazy glue into each earbud will seize the speaker.

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ItPutsLotionOnItSkin@reddit

Or put enough that its wet when he puts it in his ears.

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Leviathon713@reddit

This might legit be the most unethical thing I've seen in this sub. Congrats!

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Outrageous_Act585@reddit

Won’t lose them that way!

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StanielReddit@reddit

Now that’s just… disbolical

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Zipzapyeah@reddit

Microwave them

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Snollag@reddit

Dip them in isopropyl alcohol, they’ll crackle and sound really muffled permanently.

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Tyzorg@reddit

How about swiping the pair and call it even for him "losing" yours. Obviously be slick about it and don't get caught. Don't forget work cameras. All of this is just a joke for the book you're writing, of course. Cough cough.

(Gestures towards subreddit name)

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McKayha@reddit

Microwave for 2 seconds, won't melt but will destroy any RF circuit.

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fartypartner@reddit

Get some fiberglass insulation and rub it on them vigorously.

Use gloves.

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404notfound420@reddit

Honestly I havnt had Bluetooth buds last more than a month so just wait it out they are a false economy.

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Reinmar@reddit

I great po buddy, if there is crime, there shoild be also a punishment.

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BikeCookie@reddit

Coat the inside of the case charging port with nail polish or superglue so that they won’t charge.

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superiorstephanie@reddit

I’m not sure what kind they are, but I busted my Soundcores when I dropped one on the table. Button popped off. Not truly unusable, but still frustrating because I can’t pause without my phone any more.

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alvarorf@reddit

Microwave them

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B4nn3dByChr1st14ns@reddit

Portable emp generator that you can build out of household scraps would likely do the trick

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ultraviolet31@reddit

is that you, Lex Luthor?

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manualsquid@reddit

I wonder if microwaving them for just a second or two would damage them?

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Bigworm666999@reddit

Microwave will work. They only need a few seconds for them to short out and fry. The plastic wont melt. As soon as you hear them crackling, they are done.

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fumuki@reddit

It only takes a few seconds I did this with someone's keys so that the chip tied to the ignition got fired. Undetectable.

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Hot-Win2571@reddit

You keyed him!

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OverNiteObservations@reddit

Monster

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OddButterfly5686@reddit

What did the person do to deserve this? Just curious.

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JhnGamez@reddit

I think the plastic will melt... Also I wouldn't want any lithium ion batteries in my active microwave. Don't do this.

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Outrageous_Big_9136@reddit

That's why you do it in the work microwave

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CompetitionAway8864@reddit

It would take a single arc to ruin them and a severe one overheat to explode. Keep it to 1-3 seconds and you are golden

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AngryKitty57@reddit

Magnets.

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Hot-Win2571@reddit

How do they work?

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Urdrago@reddit

Yyyyeaahhhh!!

Magnets, bitch!!!!!

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CompetitionAway8864@reddit

They have magnets in them ….

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lockednchaste@reddit

A rare earth magnet rated 100lbs will be strong enough to break ferrous connections inside.

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Hot-Win2571@reddit

Magnetic powder in the recharge socket? Eventually will clog or wear down the contacts.

Hmm.. follow it up with a light machine oil. Having oil on the electrical contacts might block charging, and a light machine oil is translucent; might be confused with skin oil.

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Separate_Wall8315@reddit

Can you get close enough to sync it to your device? Even then if you get caught you can play dumb. “huh. that’s weird. how’d that happen?“

I presume I’m always on camera so touching them would be off limits imo.

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st_malachy@reddit

Microwave for 15 seconds

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caffeineshakesthe2nd@reddit

Why destroy them? It’s less effort to swipe them and take them out the door.

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kalakava@reddit

Easy get a piezo ignition and click on the Bluetooth.

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lunargazelle68@reddit

Dip it in mayonnaise and pretend he never cleans his ears

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Hairy_Buy1373@reddit

🤣

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KryptikAngel@reddit

Microwave then INSIDE water.

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atom644@reddit

What ever you do, only do it to one.

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TheDoodleWamboodle@reddit

You sound like a horrible person. What petty revenge. Grow up. Downvote me all you want.

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NationalGeometric@reddit

Why did you borrow and lose OPs earbuds?

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Dailia-@reddit

Check the sub and ride away on the high horse you came in on.

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TheDoodleWamboodle@reddit

Also, taking your comment into more consideration, this post doesn't even fit. This isn't unethical. This is just malicious. You get off of your high horse.

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TheDoodleWamboodle@reddit

Unethical is fine. This is just immature and petty.

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raleighs@reddit

Blow hard into them. This will ruin the tiny speaker membranes.

Wrap them in something first… you don’t want them touching your mouth.

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Even better would be asking to borrow them and not returning them.

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morkler@reddit

Sounds to me like they bought you earbuds to replace yours. They just have been making sure they work but haven't given them to you yet. ‐------------ read ------------

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chris14020@reddit

Can you get your hands on an inductive heater / bolt buster? I have a feeling this would be neat.