ULPT Request I have conservatorship over my autistic sister and she needs a phone but always falls victim to romance scams. What app can I use to see everything she's doing online?
Posted by ProtonDeathRay@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 36 comments
Basically the title. I'm so frustrated at this point but I would also like a way to inhibit the downloading of messenger apps like zangi or telegram etc.
Also is there a way to see exactly who she's messaging and trying to send money to?
Any way to turn a smart phone into a dumber phone?
Thanks
Ms-Anthrop@reddit
How don't you already have control of her finances? She couldn't give money to anyone if you had control of her funds.
SnooSeagulls5434@reddit
A Raz Memory phone for seniors is super restrictive. I don't think it even enables internet, the contacts are controlled by the caregiver, and you can remotely monitor the user's call history. It may be too restrictive for her taste, but it would definitely solve the problem. Bonus points because it is technically a smartphone, but it acts like a dumb phone.
CrypticGumbo@reddit
Had a similar issue with my 82yo mothe — she was always getting dms from fake brain surgeons and military officers.
Get a hold of her social media logins to see her friends & chats from another computer then start blocking the fake accounts. I also sat down with her and did reverse image searches showing her how all these people are fake.
MobileDustCollector@reddit
I showed my mom that people were fake using reverse image searches, but she fell for the scams anyway. I'm hoping to learn some tips from this thread.
Suzwella@reddit
Same. And blocking them on Facebook was like playing whack-a-mole. One blocked, 3 more pop up in their place.
saor_in_aisce@reddit
Change the age on their profiles. Set it so they are 30 ish. I did a test and changed mine to be 80 and I got nothing but scams. Changed it back and they all disappeared. They weaponise social media to target elderly vulnerable people
ex_its_ewr@reddit
I would try parental controls. Most providers have the option for a minimal monthly fee. Allows you to monitor usage and block sites
WanderingMushroomMan@reddit
Check out a new one Angel kids AI. It sounds like what you want.
Scragglymonk@reddit
just get a dumb phone
Cupid26@reddit
Whatever type of phone you get, see if you can add parental controls. For iPhones/ipads, there is a setting that disables to ability to download apps from the App Store without permission from the parent account.
moinoisey@reddit
Jitterbug phone
5pens@reddit
Bark phone has great parental controls
BobbleheadDwight@reddit
Came here to say this. Bark is the answer.
mynameishuman42@reddit
Get her one of the ones intended for seniors and lock her bank account
Possibly_Naked_Now@reddit
I'm not sure this is unethical.
kevnimus@reddit
You can use Anydesk app on her phone. This gives you control of who is calling or how she is using the phone
Majestic-Lie2690@reddit
Family link
Substantial-Quit1675@reddit
Flip phone
hockeyandquidditch@reddit
r/dumbphones has a lot of info on dumbed down phones, both ones sold as such and how to DIY it
texbusdoc@reddit
This.
yikeswhathappened@reddit
Since this is unethicalprolifetips, catfish her yourself posing as a wholesome suitor who wants a long distance, monogamous, chaste relationship.
commandrix@reddit
Look into apps or phone settings that let you block any calls from numbers she doesn't have on her contact list, maybe? Sorry you have to deal with this.
Rangavar@reddit
Instead of monitoring her phone use, can you just prevent that use of her funds somehow? Can you control her money and refuse to give it to her for scam artists?
skb2605@reddit
I’m sorry you have to contend with scammers, but as a fellow human being I would like to thank you for the care you’re taking of your sister. I dont have any siblings, but if I did, I hope they’d be someone caring and kind like yourself. Best luck finding the app you’re looking for.
never214@reddit
Alternate approach might be to get her a TrueLink card instead of what she has now for her money. With TrueLink you can track spending and limit it to certain categories.
I’m not saying that your question couldn’t be unethical, but I see a ton of this in the elder community and I do t think it’s necessarily unethical to protect people from scams.
savydud3@reddit
Andriod => family link
riiil@reddit
Why not a simple phone without internet?
Topical_Scream@reddit
A good ol flip phone
Slow-Win-6843@reddit
Look into Family Link (Android) or Screen Time (iPhone). You’ll get decent control without going full Orwell
ProtonDeathRay@reddit (OP)
She needs full Orwell and I didn't even want this job 😭
SeaWitchK@reddit
Have you looked into what family care/respite services might be available in your area?
Responsible-Ebb2933@reddit
r/dumplings ask there
Working-on-it12@reddit
Now, this was 10 years ago, but I was able to use parental controls to limit one person to 0 data. Combining that with blocking all unapproved numbers for voice and SMS may work.
Like I said, 10 years ago, but it might be worth wading through parental controls to find out.
Parental controls let me see the numbers that were called and SMS'd. I don't think I could see the texts themselves, but I could see the number. Controls also lets me block when the phone could call and text.
For the money, you would need the login and password of the banking app. Personally, though, since you are conservator, I would create a new main account at a different bank - bank, not branch - and move all of her approved banking to that. Then, setup the new account so that you can transfer an allowance to the account she uses. Transfer her an allowance that you don't care if she gives away. You keep the main account information and do not give her the logins or account numbers. You are doing the ACH transfers *from* the main account *to* the account she can access. That way, the account information is stored under your login, not hers, and she won't be able to just go get money.
Migratetolemmy@reddit
Yes, A few ways to go about this. I don't know what would be best for you.
With android debug bridge (adb) you can , on some phones , remove or install whatever apps/packages you like. For example, I do not ever want to use NFC on my phone so I removed the software that makes it functional. You can make the phone unable to send money. It doesn't need to be connected to any accounts, at all. It can be just a phone/text device. For me, I do most of this for security. If you stole my phone you wouldn't even learn my email address.
There are also a bunch of alternative OSs you could try. Some designed for kids, some for old people. Lots of options. All require an android device. I would not use a samsung device. Pixel with custom OS, oneplus can be completely degoogled. Samsung wont allow total control.
Thefinalstraw77@reddit
We use a bark phone with our daughter. It lets you monitor for key words and phrases but also let's you see everything
pinkmarshmall0w@reddit
Kidslox. You can see regular screenshots taken by the app and also take manual screenshots whenever you’re in the app, you can listen in through the mic and track which websites she’s going to. You can lock certain apps and set screen time allotments if you’d like, too. Highly recommend. It’s expensive, like $80/ year but totally worth it.